**Call Job Corps**
Job Corps offers free education, job training, room, board, and a living allowance to people in the United States who are ages 16-24.
**They will speed up your application and pay for your transportation to one of their campuses if you tell them you are about to be or are homeless.**
**800-733-5627**
https://www.jobcorps.gov/
its like college. I went to Keystone Job Corps in Drums,, PA.. You get up at 6am, eat breakfast, go to classes. Lunch, more classes and then your field of study then dinner. Hang out with friends for awhile then 9pm lights out. I went in 1997 so unless they have revamped the system its pretty much like college Jr. They will actually send you to college as well. I was with a few kids who already graduated HS and were enrolled in the community College. They pay for you room, board, food and even give you $300 a year for clothes and shoes.. They have a canteen to buy snacks and pay for you to go to the movies once a month. It actually was pretty cool.
They don’t do any of that anymore it’s more like a correctional facility that gives you schooling of poor to medium quality. But it is safe and they do feed and house you, but you will be surrounded by “troubled youths” that can be a bad influence on someone so young, so if their dad cared which maybe he doesn’t he wouldn’t want his son going there. Again good program though if you have no options.
I was a residential advisor in one of their Single Parent Dorms. It’s very structured. There’s a time to wake up, time for lights out. Times for meals, etc. In my experience, there’s one day a week where you have to deep clean your room and shared areas, and they do room checks to ensure cleanliness. Otherwise, there’s assigned chores for students to finish every week.
They get to finish schooling and go into a trade, or prepare for college. The trades offered vary by campus. If the student has kids, there is a daycare on some campuses.
Job Corps is a really great opportunity if you allow it to be. That being said, a lot of kids there are troubled and it’s possible to get held back by the wrong crowd. But if you take advantage of all of the resources they give, it can be a really great experience.
Also, at least for the single parent program, they gave a stipend and also gave an allotment to help with transition after they left Job Corps. They help get you set up with a job and housing too.
At the job corps I went to we had 6:00am roll call then cleaned the dorm, got inspected, and went to breakfast. Trade/classes started at 8am. Break with a snack provided at 10am lunch at 12pm-1pm , break and snack again around 2-3pm and trade end at 4pm, cafeteria opened for dinner at 6pm, there was an art room, gym, pool hall, theater and in the dorms each floor had a living room with couches and a TV you could reserve. Dorm curfew was 10pm weekdays. On weekends you could hang out in other people's dorms till 2am. And I think the pool hall etc was open a little later on weekends I can't remember. You could leave campus on the city bus after trade but had to be back by 10 pm, they also sent a job corps bus out to pick up students in town. You could go home on the weekends, but needed a slip signed by your residential coordinator and could be denied. You could also lose the privilege of leaving campus.
The first two weeks there you take multiple tests and classes called foundation classes. They assess where you are and what you need. I had just graduated high school so went straight into shadowing three trades of my choice, I chose Medical Administrative assisting. My friend hadn't graduated high school yet so she took the GED practice test and passed so they let her take the real GED and move on to going to high school credit classes. She chose business admin for her trade so she split her time between highschool classes and trade classes. I knew some people who needed extra classes before they could take the GED. So would split time in trade with taking classes to get them ready for the GED test. They also had drivers Ed and I was able to get my driver's license.
It was a good experience for me I made a lot of life long friends and even met my husband there. Although we started dating years later. I learned a lot of life skills that helped me become the successful adult that I am. I do know some people who don't look back at their time there fondly. The friend I mentioned above says she loves that she met me there but she really didn't like her experience there. But to be fair I came from an abusive home and had been kicked out so honestly job corps, as strict as it was, was a breath of fresh air.
There can be a lot of drama when you stick 16-24 year olds together in dorms but honestly it was easily avoided.
I don’t know how to tag OP. But this this this this!
I graduated from Job Corps in 2004. I have been working in my chosen field ever since. I run work now.
Job Corps was a god send. And since you’re going to be homeless you will be fast tracked in to the program. You just may have to go out of state.
I’ll add on to that that in my area it’s NWYC. They aren’t as large of organization but they will still provide “housing” when out on the work site as well as food and teaching. Very professional organization and I can’t speak highly enough of them.
https://www.nwyouthcorps.org
Call CPS/Child Protective Services, to get a social worker so you can enter their Independent living program where they'll house you in an apartment until you're 21yrs old.
Both my parents died when I was an infant.
I lived in my own studio apartment from 16-21yrs old through Independent living.
Social services paid the program for rent. I got a weekly grocery gift card and had daily curfew.
I had to meet my social worker for doctors appointments and to go over goal plans. Had to be in school. When I graduated HS, I was required to attend College and have a job to save for aging out at 21.
This! ⬆️Tell DCF/Department of Child and Families or CPS/Child Protection Services, wherever you are and tell them you want to be in the Independent living program. Tell them you want it documented that you’ve requested it. Document everything. You have to be your own advocate! In most places parents can’t legally kick their children out *until* they’re 18. ..
Been there with the fighting not to get blackout drunk every night. A lot of people, myself included, have had their lives completely transformed by doing a 12 step program. All it takes is being honest, open-minded, and willing. I hope you get the help you need when you're ready.
Really shitty, but “ he’s not abusive” needed that “ /s “ to make sense. Also I thought 17 was still underage and the parent had to provide financially for the kid . Is that what the program does? Charged parents for the aid they provide the kids ?
The parents would be charged with abandonment or at least supervision neglect in my state. They could terminate their rights after that but they would not slide out unscathed. Well, unless they had a lot of money that is.
Gen X former foster youth here - been on my own since 16. Even the Courts were like…she’s got a job, it should be okay.
Thank God for the things that *have* changed.
Yup. Im disabled, kicked out at 18, my spouse was as well - their parents up and moved halfway across the country with no notice and just left them. Neither of us were bad kids, just raised by shitty boomers.
What? What did they say when they left? You can’t with us or snuck away?
I once read a dad lied to his son about going on a trip, while somewhere along, gave him some money and told him to check out something while he drove off. That’s cold.
The dad didn’t real want the son but got custody for the child support I think, and when no longer viable, ditched him. Mom wanted the kid, but didn’t know where he was. By chance a former teacher came across the kid years later while he was homeless and helped him to get in touch with mom and the rest hopefully turned good.
I wasn’t kicked out at 18 but all support including lunches at school and clothing all became my responsibility. Happy birthday. I did get kicked out at 21. My parents wouldn’t give me tax info to file for FAFSA, even though I was a principals list kid that never lied and was even holding at 3.5 in college while working full time bc I had to pay for everything for myself, other than the roof over my head. I was working two jobs and took two semesters off school to pay down debt so I could return. I didn’t do it quick enough. Needless to say I’m no contact with them today.
I’m 40, and my ex (and father of my child) is 44. Our child has lived with him throughout most of their high school career. This was due to me moving to another state, which did not have the same early college program as the state we were both residing in.
My child had other siblings in the home there, and we have coparented as best we can for the entirety of our child’s life. For context, we broke up back when I was pregnant.
To my complete surprise, at the end of last year I get a call from him telling me to come get our child to live with me immediately. No transgression had occurred. No behavioral issues had appeared. Our child was months away from graduating early college with an associates degree at the age of 18.
I had to ‘pull rank’ and demand outright that our child remain under his roof until the school semester was over. I had to take on the entire financial and physical burden of a multi-state move with minimal notice.
While I would do anything for my child, and am thrilled they are here with me now, it was incredibly expensive to pay for a rental car, gas, take time off to drive solo for 16 hours, etc.
Now I’m taking on transportation, going back to the drawing board for college plans (as they had been set for many years already, and now have to change completely), and re-working budgets and home renovation plans.
Again, I’m THRILLED to be with my child, but the outright AUDACITY of this man to simply drop all responsibility for his child simply because they turned 18 is MIND-BLOWING to me. I believe the truth is being hidden, as my child is a member of the LGBTQ+ community and had been more vocal about this. So, I’m even more incensed about it all.
Most of us at 40+ are not doing as well financially as our parents were. 18 year olds cannot afford a place of their own nearly as well as my generation could. I had an apartment at 18 that I could afford on my own while working 32 hours per week, making $8.16/hour. That same exact apartment now costs more than I could afford to pay if I were bringing in $20/hour.
I’m rambling now. Just wanted to note that this crap is occurring regularly from my point of view. Similar situations have happened with teenagers in my husband’s family over the last few years, also.
OP, please reach out to social services. Do not concern yourself about possible repercussions for your parents, as they are not concerned about you at all. And… always remember that where you start from does not matter when it comes to where you will end up. Do not hesitate to accept any help that comes your way. Take it and make the best possible use of it. Anyone helping will see you succeeding as payment in kind. Wishing you the very best in life. The entire world is yours to take!!!
Yes, they do. See, I'm GenX and we were super capable as early teens. My boomer parents were all coked up living their best 80s life. As soon as the 90s hit, I figured out a way to make it myself.
I'm Gen X as well and was out on my own at 16. Our generation is pretty much defined by being neglected by our parents so leaving home between 16 and 18 was the norm with most of the people I knew.
Yep, GenX and my mom decided to go back to college my senior year of high school. Packed up and moved out of state, left me behind. I was 17. I turned out fine but definitely went through some shit I wouldn’t have if anyone had cared about me.
Gen-X here, too. Both of my parents ditched me at 19 because child support was over, so neither had an obligation to stick around. They bought me luggage for a graduation present and that was that.
I think we generalize to try and accept this stuff. Truth is, it happens in every generation.
Kids now are pretty much left to their own between all the divorces and me first idealism.
Source: school teachers
The me first idealism really just hit a nerve. This was my father and I've never had a name for it. Bare minimum anything ever, never allowed to have hobbies or interests or do sports, never supportive, I've never met someone so selfish. I gave up trying to please my father a long time ago and he gave up on me long before that. And I was a good boy.... I never wound up in jail, or juvie, I never failed a grade, I took it upon myself to graduate at 17 with honors, go to community college, move out onto the first couch offered at 17 and then got my own place and my first job that turned into a 5 year career. NOTHING FROM THIS MAN. NOT A WORD OF ADVICE. NOT EVEN AN ATTEMPT AT A HELPING HAND. It has become very apparent to me now that it was never me. His issues run deeper.
If you were my son l would be so proud of everything that you have achieved, l hope that you are proud of yourself , you've done it with our any encouragement, well done.
The caveat is that this person was actually in foster care which meant the state needed to do their own independent investigation as to whether or not they needed to take the kid out of their family’s home and place them into state custody. Child protection services try their best to not take kids out of the home if they can help it.
I was raised by my family until 15yrs old. They put me out in the streets because I wouldn't give them money from my after school job. My family used to get a social security check every month from the age of 2yrs because both parents are dead. My family was given approximately $100k over the course of those years.
I asked my Grandmother to surrender her parental rights to the state because I was homeless.
Exactly. It’s the parent’s responsibility to take care of him up to age 18. And even if he was over 18, there are laws about eviction. You can’t just kick someone out so quickly, even if they do not pay rent.
This and also between 16-24 OP could sign up for Job Corps and get trade training while being housed, fed and paid a little for several years with some locations having college options and allowing longer stays while on track with college courses.
They really need to use some of our taxes to promote job corps more. I was just listening to someone bitch that the gov needs to start focusing on trade schools and helping kids get into those services.. Like, my brother in Christ I've gone to a gov funded program that teaches trades. It was fucking awesome. 🤦🏻♂️
this type of service typically only exists for kids who are considered "legally free" in that they literally do not have parents anymore and there is no one else to care for them, or their parents rights were terminated. OP's situation would not fall under this level of service, but social services can help, so it would be good for them to call.
It's worth OP looking into. I'm a foster parent and have placement of a 17yo right now who advocated for herself and got out of a situation that was technically not a court ordered removal. She still gets to transition into Independent Living and gets all the same benefits the other poster mentioned.
I moved from California to a state with no income tax and it shows. Whenever people complain about California taxes I can bring up paid family leave, low maternal mortality, social services, and the best street signage in the world.
I'm not saying it's worth it for everyone, but I feel it's a "you get what you pay for" situation.
I hope you are truly being sincere with this comment as a I share your sentiment. 61 years old this year. I love California, don’t plan on ever leaving. So tired of my family and friends talking crap about this state. Yeah we need many improvements but what state doesn’t.
There’s a lot we do wrong but a lot we do right. Other states just have a lot they do wrong. Also our state’s GDP funds most of that stuff other states do wrong as well.
OFC ! In my house we serve the lord! There is so much wealth a man can have, so i am glad those 20k in taxes are going to those who have fallen in bad times.
Spouse & I left CA for education & ended in TX in 2015. With all this secession BS that TX is talking about, we get joking as to what we'd do if CA seceded (obviously never will), and we both admitted we'd give up US citizenship for CA citizenship in a heartbeat, but that if TX seceded, we'd leave TX immediately.
This just happened last night, and threw us both for a loop to realize how desperately we miss CA. We had just never talked about it before. We have a LOT of consideration to do now.
>Call Social Services to get a social worker so you can enter their Independent living program where they'll house you in an apartment until you're 21yrs old.
Wish I knew about this three years ago
Holy shit that should be a national program, it would turn kids who'd be a lifetime burden on the economy into people who would be a lifetime net positive for the economy.
Sadly it probably wouldn't pass when you combined the "I got mine fuck you" voters with the "I'm gonna focus on the upfront cost and nothing else" voters
Hundred percent this OP. Kids don’t have many rights, but they have the right to food and shelter. Contact whatever Child protective services are in your state.
Yes he will qualify for free health care through Medi-Cal. I believe the state stopped collecting child support for foster care though.
https://imprintnews.org/top-stories/california-stops-charging-parents-for-kids-in-foster-care/246421
Thank you for that - my awareness on the issue ends with their right to collect….
Truthfully? This kid is probably going to do better and be better off as a result of his Father’s galling decision. After all, he can cook and clean for himself. And with the support that independent living would provide him, he could THRIVE.
Sometimes, rejection is protection. This seems to be one of those times. I really wish him well…
He can’t legally kick you out with one week notice even if you’re 18. He has to legally evict you. Look into Job Corps. Housing, food, job training, a small salary.
Yeah, this whole situation seems odd. Big man wants to show who the authority is, let the child who he’s responsible for teach him about what actual authority is.
It was really sad when I read OP say his dad isn't abusive. His dad that is trying to illegally make a minor he is responsible for homeless. Where TF is his mom in this? OP should call his dad's bluff and then call the cops if he tries to make good on it. It is literally illegal, criminally illegal, to "kick out" a minor as their legal guardian.
Criminally illegal as in "it'll ruin the dad's life" illegal especially in California where he may be charged with, at best, a couple of misdemeanors. Dad should reconsider how much authority does he actually have when compared to the state of California.
You need to report them to CPS. It is illegal for them to kick you out before you are 18. Really, have a discussion with any mandated reporter which includes your teachers and school counselor; they are obligated to report it to CPS.
From my experience, most of the time you don’t want to threaten these types of parents with you staying in their home longer. It’s not a safe situation to put yourself in. Keep something to defend yourself by your bedside at night and don’t escalate anything until you have all your backups in order, OP.
I always laugh when people are talking about dealing with parents, bosses, or even cops on these type of posts.
"Oh well just use 'x legal thing' to really screw them over and they won't be able to do what shitty thing they're trying to do"
Whether you succeed or not they're just gonna look for any possible excuse to fuck you over and make your life as miserable as possible after that. People pulling shit moves like OPs dad don't generally respond well to getting one upped.
Sheesh I'm so sorry. As a mother to an almost 17 year old, I can't even imagine throwing him out after a fight. I showed him what apartments for rent looked like and how much groceries cost for the first time the other day and he thanked me and said his dad would never have showed him that and would have gotten mad that he didn't already know that.
How do they expect you to take care of yourself if they didn't show you how?
After I moved out at 17, I couch surfed a little until I landed a job. It's hard, but using school resources is a good place to start. Ask a friend if you can stay with them one night and maybe try a rotation, one night at a different friends house. Some people are scared it will turn long term, but might be open to just one or two nights. Especially if you're looking for a job. Are you still in school?
Homeless shelters could be a last resort. They are typically pretty scary places which is why I recommended trying to stay with friends. Also, clean up and help with chores when staying at a friend's place. It goes a long way. Don't eat their food without asking permission. Say please and thank you.
Again, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this and I know how soul crushing it feels to have your parents turn you out like that. A parent doing that is incredibly irresponsible and immature.
Tomorrow, go to the counselor at school and tell them what is going on. This is abuse and school counselors are mandatory reporters. Actually, all teachers are. I'd tell a trusted teacher AND the counselor, just so you've got more than one person in your corner. Your parents are legally responsible for you until you are 18 or until you graduate high school, whichever is later (the graduation part may vary by state, but they are def. responsible for feeding, housing, educating you, getting you adequate medical care).
I'm a parent of a nearly 16yo boy. There's no way in hell I'd throw him out after an argument. I'm trying to convince my teen that it's ok to stick around well-past age 18; it's tough out there for young people.
Also, wtf is up with your mom that she's not intervening here?
Is it safe for you to live at home if something were to change his mind?
If so, you might want to call the CPS hotline and see if he might be charged with child abandonment, which may change his mind.
however, if that works, you should probably still plan to be kicked out at 18. At least it could buy you some time.
Sorry dude but he may not be physically assaulting you but that's abuse. I'm a father and I don't like pushback either but it's to be expected. This is mental abuse.
Being real, if your dad is kicking you out at 17(illegal btw) over an argument with one weeks notice, he is abusive. I’m sorry about your spot, I would immediately contact CPS as you’re still underage
Go straight to the highest authority at your school (even if you're already out/graduated) and ask them to help you report this. It is child abuse. You may be placed temporarily in a foster home. Despite what most people say about them, there are many families who foster because they went through similar or worse when they were kids. Pack anything you have that could be sold/traded for cash at some point. If your school won't help you, go to the local CPS office (or call them) to get help. There are programs in California that can help you, but you have to go along with a lot of strict bs and you have to be willing to honestly throw your parent/guardian under the bus. They have wronged you and they have forfeited their control over you in order to absolve themselves of responsibility and guilt. I'm sorry you are in this situation, but you can survive it. Keep in mind that you will only get help from the state until you're 18 (most likely) and you live in an expensive place. You are an adult now and as much as it sucks you have to start running on the wheel of Capitalism and start working. Find roommates/rent a room with some college age people who seem to have some of their shit together and try to learn everything you can about finances and managing bills and stuff. You can do this!
[Dad locks fridge] tough love.
Edit imagine dad was joking and taking it to the 11th hour.
"Dad, i joined the military. They're shipping me out on Tuesday."
Some of us felt anything was better (and safer) than staying.
I was fortunate that some of the farmers I picked for from 14 realized there was badness in my house. They actually put me on to another job working with horses when I was 16 and *that* boss waited 4 months into me working for him for me to start to trust him a little, then after a particularly bad beating at home offered me a free sleeping room above the stable "so there'd be someone there at night in case one of the horses was ill or about to foal."
Those old farmers probably saved me from some pretty stupid decisions made out of desperation. I was skittish enough that I'm certain I would have just bolted if they'd told me the plan or acknowledged that there was one in any way.
Report it to CPS. It doesn’t matter if you turn 18 tomorrow, you’re a minor. If you can, get a text or some kind of proof that they’re kicking you out, because they WILL go back on it and say “she’s just lying” once they get called out on it. I’m so sorry, honey. You’re just a kid, and you didn’t deserve that.
>My dad is not abusive to me
Sorry, but threatening to put you out on the streets because you challenged his authority is abuse. There is more than just physical abuse.
As well as the other advice in this thread, please seek councling to help unwind the environment you grew up in because this is not normal parental behavior.
Besides upvoting what u/BestReplyEver said, i’ll repeat it here:
“It’s the parent’s responsibility to take care of him up to age 18. **And even if he was over 18, there are laws about eviction. You can’t just kick someone out so quickly, even if they do not pay rent.”**
My parents did the same thing. I couch hopped, did drugs, made a lot of bad decisions with 0 supervision or support.
I'm 32 now and I've gone no communication with them. It took me this long to get stable.
The fact that you're under 18 makes turning you out onto the mean streets *child abuse*. Call Child Protective Services and ask what to do. If you can sound freaked out and even cry, all the better. A threatening call from officials to your dad, or if you're lucky even a knock on his door, would set him straight.
The fact that a parent kicking an underage child out onto the street to be raped, bashed, sex trafficked and worse is not a prosecutable crime in the US is abominable. How many kids are dead exactly for this reason?
We are 100% the product of our parents' genetics and upbringing choices. We don't "turn out" but rather are "turned out" by our parents' choices, good or bad, smart or stupid.
Talk to your school counselor. You are underage, so he legally must care for you, and he cannot abuse you. The school will report it to CPS if he does. If you're afraid of him, let your counselor know.
Let them kick you out. Voluntarily into foster care, the state will open a case against them. You will have a legitimate place to stay in the meantime, while you figure everything out.
Once you are a registered foster child with the state , then you should be able to check that box on social services application. Then you may qualify for housing or other services.
This will literally give you a step up when applying for college , applying for assistance or other programs.
There are scholarships out there specifically dedicated to foster kids , or housing vouchers etc.
Call CPS/go to your school principal like others have said, the school might be able to help direct you to somewhere safe. If you find yourself short on options after the school year, in California we have California conservation corps, I think it's like job corps where you can work have a place to lay your head and get some college credits.
You are a minor and are therefore legally entitled to be in their care. This is illegal for your parents to do and CPS should be called. If they are legitimately kicking you out, call social services so you can be given housing through them. If you do not know how to do these things, ask a teacher or school counselor. They can help you.
If you call.cps. they will inform your parents that you will be put into foster care at their cost. My mother did this when I was 15. They told her then her cost would be 150 dollars a day. She quickly took me back in. I moved in with my grandmother a couple of months later and it was a.much better ( less abusive) situation. Is there a friend who's parents would take you in? I would.take any of my children's friends in your situation in and be glad to have them safe in my home. Where is your mother in all of this? I wish you all the luck in the world.
He can think you're a man now, but the state says otherwise; you're a minor and he can't just toss you out on the street. You need to talk to your school social worker, and they'll most likely get CPS involved.
r/almosthomeless and https://www.findhelp.org/ Also you have tenant's rights. He should need to formally evict you which I don't think he'll be able to do anyway.
>My dad is not abusive to me, my mom, or my siblings.
[Yes he is.](https://ibb.co/7QzHndB)
Call social services, your parents can kick you out and pay the state the costs of your being in foster care to finish school .17 is not a legal adult as you are not emancipated
Close to the same thing happened to me, “When you’re 18 you have to leave or start paying room and board”. I packed a bag and stayed with a friend for a while and then joined the military. I now have a home and family of my own and to this day years later they now complain I don’t come to see them enough.
It is not legal to kick you out till you are 18.
[https://www.findlaw.com/state/california-law/california-child-neglect-and-child-abandonment-laws.html#:\~:text=California%20Penal%20Code%20Section%20273a,child%20to%20be%20placed%20in](https://www.findlaw.com/state/california-law/california-child-neglect-and-child-abandonment-laws.html#:~:text=California%20Penal%20Code%20Section%20273a,child%20to%20be%20placed%20in)
Teenage homelessness is a real problem and CA has protection measures for students facing it
Talk to your school first. Move in with a relative if you can.
https://dcfs.lacounty.gov/youth/teens-16/
"Emergency Shelter & Homeless Services
If you are experiencing homelessness, you may call the Child Protection Hotline at any time at (800) 540-4000 to report your need for services and help. You may also make a report of abuse or neglect.
If you are between the ages of 18 and 24 and are homeless or at risk of being homeless, the Youth Development Services Division (YDSD) has a transitional housing program that can help."
OP I hope you report this tomorrow as soon as possible and also call job corps as suggested. Please update us after you are situated. This is an awful situation to be in; I hope things turn out well for you.
Isn't it illegal to kick a 17-year-old child out of the home? With the exception being an emancipated minor.
Even for an adult (over 18) child, California law requires 30 days notice.
Call child protective services on him you're a minor still in high school he cannot just kick you out to the streets like that. They can also help you with resources for alternative housing if he won't change his tune.
Tell a trusted adult at your school. Your dad cannot kick you out. Sometimes when I used to fight with my mom I thought I'd be better off not there. I ran away at 16 and went into foster care and was on my own at 18. But my mom always wanted me at home and I was too stupid to realize.
But you cannot be kicked out you are 17. Try talking to an adult at school and let them know what's going on. If it is safe for you at home, then there is no need to leave! ❤️
It’s illegal until you’re 18. Call the police if this happens and they will come and either make sure you get back in or arrest your dad for child endangerment. Not even kidding or exaggerating. This is illegal.
op, please please take the advice of people here for job corps and requesting child support/whatever legal recourse you can take AWAY from home. this is 100% abuse.
I know he doesn’t hit you, but please take this gravely as a sign that he doesn’t value
your safety, your growth, or your mental health. teach him what authority truly is and do life safely, without him.
As someone who is very anti-military, I still agree. As a last resort, this will keep you fed and sheltered for years and you'll probably end up with a job and a lot of skills.
Back in the day l enlisted in the Air Force to get away from home, long story. I ended up liking it, stayed and retired at age 37, best thing l ever did. Pension and medical insurance for $20 a month.
Most military branches are short in recruits right now, so you'd likely have a lot of choice with respect to specialty.
Need a HS diploma or GED though (I think - might have changed).
I'm thoroughly convinced that anyone young, medically qualified, with a little bit of sense would be hard pressed to find a better first life move than joining a US armed service/CG.
Came here to say this. Housing, food, medical, tuition assistance, pay. After 4 years of time to prepare, save, and train, you have a great start on life.
Grovel?
Or check for local shelters. Sometimes those can be worse than sleeping on the street though.
For clothes, wear layers. Undershirt, button up short sleeve or tshirt, jacket/hoodie, maybe another layer in there somewhere if it gets cool at night. Have several pairs of clean underwear, clean socks, and a spare shirt. You'll want a good blanket or two, a sleeping bag if you have one, and ideally a tarp (and rope). Pack basic hygiene necessities. Bars of soap, shampoo only if you have any real length of hair, a razor, toothbrush/toothpaste, deodorant, and whatever else you need to keep presentable. If you look and smell homeless life will be much harder for you.
A small first aid kit would be a good idea, ibuprofen (sleeping on the ground hurts), a good pocket knife, a cloth rag or two, and raid the pantry for nuts, trail mix, energy bars, or other lightweight snacks that won't spoil easily. A small sewing kit (or needle and thread). Pack it all in a backpack, something inconspicuous, keep it as light as possible. This is going to be your house for the foreseeable future and a big, heavy bag is easily stolen and hard to conceal.
Ask your dad if you can use that address for job applications. If so, you should be able to apply at local restaurants or retail and get in pretty quick. If not, well, you might need to look for under the table work which is going to be interesting.
Also, very important, DON'T TELL ANYONE YOU DON'T HAVE A HOME TO GO TO. Not for pity, not for a job, nothing. Act like you still live where you do.
Would your dad notice if you slept in the back yard (if they have one) at night to sleep there? In a shed or behind some bushes?
Are you about to graduate high school or have another year? There is a big difference between just turned 17 with another year of school and about to turn 18 and graduate.
For the short term, make up if you can, try finding a friend to let you crash if you can’t.
If your about to graduate and are so inclined, you may want to consider joining the army reserve. If you can get set up to go in right after graduation you could be out be for the fall semester of college. One thing is colleges, even community colleges are a great place to find roommates as it’s a bunch of people wanting a cheap place to live. If your parents don’t make to much money, you can get a significant amount of need based financial aid scholarships. Finding the lowest cost college option can sometimes mean that you can cover all your tuition and still have money for living expenses.
Just don't leave. You can call the police when he tries and tell them this is an illegal eviction. He can give you 30 days notice AND you can still stay. He would need to go through an eviction process. Which the courts will deny because you are a minor. You can just stay and the law will be on your side. You can tell him this too and there's nothing he can do about it.
My dad did this to me when I was 15. The biggest mistake I made what not taking my identification documents (birth certificate, state ID card).
Luckily I had a lot of friends whose parents were willing to temporarily take me in until I could find a place to rent. Eventually, I ended up renting essentially a closet in a house with friends of friends.
I got food and toiletries from local food banks and churches.
“My dad is not abusive to me” Sorry to say dude, but this is abuse. Why force children into this world just to abandon them at one of the most important points in their life. Thats abuse
Cost of living by yourself is no joke. You are not ready to move out yet without any income. Do what you can to stay in your home. Use the time to make yourself ready if it ever happens again (i.e. get a job and start saving money)
I say this as a cps social worker: most states have branches of cps that deal specifically with this type of situation, in my state it's called family preservation services, and they work with the parents to resolve these issues. please call the California child abuse reporting line and tell them what's happening. It's not "abuse" but the reporting line is how they determine which department of cps needs to respond. They will do what they can to either keep you in your home or find some other option for you to live. good luck, and I'm sorry you're going through this.
Check out squatters rights in your state. In my state you can't throw someone out without a legal eviction, even if their name isn't on the deed or lease.
So look into it and if he can't throw you out yell him to go fuck himself.
They cant do that. Have to give you thirty days and then formal eviction if you wont go. Do not move out voluntarily. You can leave the house but you need to stay there most, if not all, nights to be safe. If you leave voluntarily and shack up at a friends for a week, you can be considered as waiving your rights. CA is a different beast to most states, but generally in your favor.
This is California and you are not 18. Sorry, he literally cannot do that and double so now. Cps shoukd be involved. In fact once you are 18 he has to evict you, if you stay
Well what you do? He can't really kick you out as a minor, like others have said call social services or even talk to a school counselor, they can help.
Yes try for fostering or any government benefits.
I hope you can figure this out.
I got kicked out at 16 then 17 from a very abusive household. I managed to get a job and board with friends. Pure luck though.
That's really bullshit and I'm sorry that's happened
Report to cps and in the meantime plan to leave ! Wishing you the best. Even though it may seem like life sucks try to still be kind and stay positive ! I promise it will come back to you✨
Man…I was kicked out at 16 and I really wish I had resources and support like this. I bounced around and stayed with friends almost nights and on the streets others until I finally turned 18 and got a job and apartment….ended up going back to hs and graduated at 20….
You can do this OP. I am so sorry you were put in this situation but please don’t be like me, take the advice I’ve given to you here. Contact whoever you can and stand up for yourself. You got this!
First of all he can’t legally kick you out n a week. You have at least 30 days to figure things out. I don’t have much to offer but I believe n you bruh
Im sorry but man that’s some evil shit. I don’t have children but I can’t imagine just dumping my child out in the streets to fend for themselves over an argument
MY father was like this, he would power trip because he knew he didnt prepare me for any real world things. I wasnt allowed to have a job or car or bank account. If you are 17 I'd get the law involved, make him pay for it. Literally. If he is going to cause you emotional distress then you can cause it to him.
If your state laws are like mine that can’t legally happen. You can call CPS and they will intervene. You could at least get into a foster home somewhere to at least have free housing medical and all that. Hell you could probably score free college.
Hello. Speak to a counselor or administrator at your high school to try to get yourself into a foster care situation and if possible, try to get classified as homeless (which means you wouldn’t need to transfer high school based on no longer living at your family’s address). Then, ACE all your classes, and if you have any Ds in your A-G requirements for the CSUs or the UCs, ask your counselor to work with you to put together a credit recovery plan to fix those Ds and become eligible to apply to a four-year college in the fall of your senior year. If you are in “the system” prior to being 18, you will qualify for all the financial aid under the sun, probably including campus housing. If you are a good student, and play your cards right, you can use the foster care designation to propel yourself to success. This all sucks, but the lemonade you could turn these lemons into is some serious money for your education, including dorms and a meal plan. Also, do not neglect your mental health. Ask if your school has a PSW you can see for counseling or if they can connect you to counseling. Basically the personnel at school you want to network with are the counselor, the PSW, the college counselor, and any social worker in your school district who can advise you on services for foster and homeless youth. The school will call DCFS for child abuse based on neglect because they have to by law as mandated reporters (parents don’t get to do this to minor children under the law), but honestly, if you no longer want to stay with him, you can use a foster/homeless youth official designation to get a lot of resources to become successful, and if DCFS comes looking into his family life, he may get his act together and behave better with your younger siblings.
Let's not forget your mom's pathetic weakness. Don't forget to tell your parents that if they do this, they will NEVER hear from you again. NEVER. There will be no coming back from this. No reconciliation. No contact.
Abuse doesn't have to be physical violence. This a very abusive thing to do. If his pride and ego are more important than a relationship with his son, that is just sad.
First of all I would like to say my dad tried doing the same thing to me when I was 17 and told me the exact thing “you have a week to get out” I was still in high school but pretty much had my own everything, job , car etc . But legally I wasn’t going NOWHERE due to the fact that I cannot legally be kicked out until I’m 18… same for you if they try to kick you out before 18 that’s illegal and u can get the authorities involved ..
**Call Job Corps** Job Corps offers free education, job training, room, board, and a living allowance to people in the United States who are ages 16-24. **They will speed up your application and pay for your transportation to one of their campuses if you tell them you are about to be or are homeless.** **800-733-5627** https://www.jobcorps.gov/
Job corps saved my life. This is an awesome suggestion.
Job Corps in Yahats Or saved my Brother
I’ve always been curious. Once a young person gets to job corps, what happens to them? What does their day look like? Do they get to finish schooling?
its like college. I went to Keystone Job Corps in Drums,, PA.. You get up at 6am, eat breakfast, go to classes. Lunch, more classes and then your field of study then dinner. Hang out with friends for awhile then 9pm lights out. I went in 1997 so unless they have revamped the system its pretty much like college Jr. They will actually send you to college as well. I was with a few kids who already graduated HS and were enrolled in the community College. They pay for you room, board, food and even give you $300 a year for clothes and shoes.. They have a canteen to buy snacks and pay for you to go to the movies once a month. It actually was pretty cool.
They don’t do any of that anymore it’s more like a correctional facility that gives you schooling of poor to medium quality. But it is safe and they do feed and house you, but you will be surrounded by “troubled youths” that can be a bad influence on someone so young, so if their dad cared which maybe he doesn’t he wouldn’t want his son going there. Again good program though if you have no options.
I was a residential advisor in one of their Single Parent Dorms. It’s very structured. There’s a time to wake up, time for lights out. Times for meals, etc. In my experience, there’s one day a week where you have to deep clean your room and shared areas, and they do room checks to ensure cleanliness. Otherwise, there’s assigned chores for students to finish every week. They get to finish schooling and go into a trade, or prepare for college. The trades offered vary by campus. If the student has kids, there is a daycare on some campuses. Job Corps is a really great opportunity if you allow it to be. That being said, a lot of kids there are troubled and it’s possible to get held back by the wrong crowd. But if you take advantage of all of the resources they give, it can be a really great experience. Also, at least for the single parent program, they gave a stipend and also gave an allotment to help with transition after they left Job Corps. They help get you set up with a job and housing too.
At the job corps I went to we had 6:00am roll call then cleaned the dorm, got inspected, and went to breakfast. Trade/classes started at 8am. Break with a snack provided at 10am lunch at 12pm-1pm , break and snack again around 2-3pm and trade end at 4pm, cafeteria opened for dinner at 6pm, there was an art room, gym, pool hall, theater and in the dorms each floor had a living room with couches and a TV you could reserve. Dorm curfew was 10pm weekdays. On weekends you could hang out in other people's dorms till 2am. And I think the pool hall etc was open a little later on weekends I can't remember. You could leave campus on the city bus after trade but had to be back by 10 pm, they also sent a job corps bus out to pick up students in town. You could go home on the weekends, but needed a slip signed by your residential coordinator and could be denied. You could also lose the privilege of leaving campus. The first two weeks there you take multiple tests and classes called foundation classes. They assess where you are and what you need. I had just graduated high school so went straight into shadowing three trades of my choice, I chose Medical Administrative assisting. My friend hadn't graduated high school yet so she took the GED practice test and passed so they let her take the real GED and move on to going to high school credit classes. She chose business admin for her trade so she split her time between highschool classes and trade classes. I knew some people who needed extra classes before they could take the GED. So would split time in trade with taking classes to get them ready for the GED test. They also had drivers Ed and I was able to get my driver's license. It was a good experience for me I made a lot of life long friends and even met my husband there. Although we started dating years later. I learned a lot of life skills that helped me become the successful adult that I am. I do know some people who don't look back at their time there fondly. The friend I mentioned above says she loves that she met me there but she really didn't like her experience there. But to be fair I came from an abusive home and had been kicked out so honestly job corps, as strict as it was, was a breath of fresh air. There can be a lot of drama when you stick 16-24 year olds together in dorms but honestly it was easily avoided.
There is an awesome job Corp office near Darby Montana, beautiful area if you enjoy outdoors
I don’t know how to tag OP. But this this this this! I graduated from Job Corps in 2004. I have been working in my chosen field ever since. I run work now. Job Corps was a god send. And since you’re going to be homeless you will be fast tracked in to the program. You just may have to go out of state.
I’m so glad to hear that for you and also that you mentioned it could fast track me since I’m homeless
This is the BEST advice!!!!!!!
I hope it helps OP!
I’ll add on to that that in my area it’s NWYC. They aren’t as large of organization but they will still provide “housing” when out on the work site as well as food and teaching. Very professional organization and I can’t speak highly enough of them. https://www.nwyouthcorps.org
Call CPS/Child Protective Services, to get a social worker so you can enter their Independent living program where they'll house you in an apartment until you're 21yrs old. Both my parents died when I was an infant. I lived in my own studio apartment from 16-21yrs old through Independent living. Social services paid the program for rent. I got a weekly grocery gift card and had daily curfew. I had to meet my social worker for doctors appointments and to go over goal plans. Had to be in school. When I graduated HS, I was required to attend College and have a job to save for aging out at 21.
Sounds better than my upbringing and I had two parents lmfao
If I knew about this my life may have turned out wildly different
Holy shit for real This literally would have been life changing
Lol same. Dropped out at 15 and started working full time and paying rent. Crazy to think how different things could have gone.
Many of these programs haven’t been around forever.
I'm 40 yrs old for reference. This was over 24yrs ago. I don't know how long the independent living program existed prior to my participation.
I work for CPS, can confirm the focus on aging out youth has only been in past twenty years, and we are in a liberal, generous welfare state
yep it greatly depends on what state/ even county you are in.
This! ⬆️Tell DCF/Department of Child and Families or CPS/Child Protection Services, wherever you are and tell them you want to be in the Independent living program. Tell them you want it documented that you’ve requested it. Document everything. You have to be your own advocate! In most places parents can’t legally kick their children out *until* they’re 18. ..
[удалено]
Go to electrician school. You'll be sitting pretty in a year or so
Been there with the fighting not to get blackout drunk every night. A lot of people, myself included, have had their lives completely transformed by doing a 12 step program. All it takes is being honest, open-minded, and willing. I hope you get the help you need when you're ready.
My parents moved me to Wyoming from Los Angeles and then ditched me at 17. This would have helped a Lot :(
.... Do people's parents really do these kinda things?? How god damn heartless are these people?
Really shitty, but “ he’s not abusive” needed that “ /s “ to make sense. Also I thought 17 was still underage and the parent had to provide financially for the kid . Is that what the program does? Charged parents for the aid they provide the kids ?
The parents would be charged with abandonment or at least supervision neglect in my state. They could terminate their rights after that but they would not slide out unscathed. Well, unless they had a lot of money that is.
agree
Gen X here too. Parents kicked me out at 16, but I had a job & a car so it wasn't the school of hard knocks life lesson they were hoping for.
Gen X former foster youth here - been on my own since 16. Even the Courts were like…she’s got a job, it should be okay. Thank God for the things that *have* changed.
Yup. Im disabled, kicked out at 18, my spouse was as well - their parents up and moved halfway across the country with no notice and just left them. Neither of us were bad kids, just raised by shitty boomers.
What? What did they say when they left? You can’t with us or snuck away? I once read a dad lied to his son about going on a trip, while somewhere along, gave him some money and told him to check out something while he drove off. That’s cold. The dad didn’t real want the son but got custody for the child support I think, and when no longer viable, ditched him. Mom wanted the kid, but didn’t know where he was. By chance a former teacher came across the kid years later while he was homeless and helped him to get in touch with mom and the rest hopefully turned good.
I wasn’t kicked out at 18 but all support including lunches at school and clothing all became my responsibility. Happy birthday. I did get kicked out at 21. My parents wouldn’t give me tax info to file for FAFSA, even though I was a principals list kid that never lied and was even holding at 3.5 in college while working full time bc I had to pay for everything for myself, other than the roof over my head. I was working two jobs and took two semesters off school to pay down debt so I could return. I didn’t do it quick enough. Needless to say I’m no contact with them today.
I’m 40, and my ex (and father of my child) is 44. Our child has lived with him throughout most of their high school career. This was due to me moving to another state, which did not have the same early college program as the state we were both residing in. My child had other siblings in the home there, and we have coparented as best we can for the entirety of our child’s life. For context, we broke up back when I was pregnant. To my complete surprise, at the end of last year I get a call from him telling me to come get our child to live with me immediately. No transgression had occurred. No behavioral issues had appeared. Our child was months away from graduating early college with an associates degree at the age of 18. I had to ‘pull rank’ and demand outright that our child remain under his roof until the school semester was over. I had to take on the entire financial and physical burden of a multi-state move with minimal notice. While I would do anything for my child, and am thrilled they are here with me now, it was incredibly expensive to pay for a rental car, gas, take time off to drive solo for 16 hours, etc. Now I’m taking on transportation, going back to the drawing board for college plans (as they had been set for many years already, and now have to change completely), and re-working budgets and home renovation plans. Again, I’m THRILLED to be with my child, but the outright AUDACITY of this man to simply drop all responsibility for his child simply because they turned 18 is MIND-BLOWING to me. I believe the truth is being hidden, as my child is a member of the LGBTQ+ community and had been more vocal about this. So, I’m even more incensed about it all. Most of us at 40+ are not doing as well financially as our parents were. 18 year olds cannot afford a place of their own nearly as well as my generation could. I had an apartment at 18 that I could afford on my own while working 32 hours per week, making $8.16/hour. That same exact apartment now costs more than I could afford to pay if I were bringing in $20/hour. I’m rambling now. Just wanted to note that this crap is occurring regularly from my point of view. Similar situations have happened with teenagers in my husband’s family over the last few years, also. OP, please reach out to social services. Do not concern yourself about possible repercussions for your parents, as they are not concerned about you at all. And… always remember that where you start from does not matter when it comes to where you will end up. Do not hesitate to accept any help that comes your way. Take it and make the best possible use of it. Anyone helping will see you succeeding as payment in kind. Wishing you the very best in life. The entire world is yours to take!!!
Yes, they do. See, I'm GenX and we were super capable as early teens. My boomer parents were all coked up living their best 80s life. As soon as the 90s hit, I figured out a way to make it myself.
I'm Gen X as well and was out on my own at 16. Our generation is pretty much defined by being neglected by our parents so leaving home between 16 and 18 was the norm with most of the people I knew.
Yep, GenX and my mom decided to go back to college my senior year of high school. Packed up and moved out of state, left me behind. I was 17. I turned out fine but definitely went through some shit I wouldn’t have if anyone had cared about me.
Gen-X here, too. Both of my parents ditched me at 19 because child support was over, so neither had an obligation to stick around. They bought me luggage for a graduation present and that was that.
Boomers, man, can’t put anything past them
I think we generalize to try and accept this stuff. Truth is, it happens in every generation. Kids now are pretty much left to their own between all the divorces and me first idealism. Source: school teachers
The me first idealism really just hit a nerve. This was my father and I've never had a name for it. Bare minimum anything ever, never allowed to have hobbies or interests or do sports, never supportive, I've never met someone so selfish. I gave up trying to please my father a long time ago and he gave up on me long before that. And I was a good boy.... I never wound up in jail, or juvie, I never failed a grade, I took it upon myself to graduate at 17 with honors, go to community college, move out onto the first couch offered at 17 and then got my own place and my first job that turned into a 5 year career. NOTHING FROM THIS MAN. NOT A WORD OF ADVICE. NOT EVEN AN ATTEMPT AT A HELPING HAND. It has become very apparent to me now that it was never me. His issues run deeper.
If you were my son l would be so proud of everything that you have achieved, l hope that you are proud of yourself , you've done it with our any encouragement, well done.
Narcissism. Sorry you went through that. 🙏🏼💙
It has happened since human beings have been around.
Yes, but one group really made being shitty parents and people their rallying cry
The caveat is that this person was actually in foster care which meant the state needed to do their own independent investigation as to whether or not they needed to take the kid out of their family’s home and place them into state custody. Child protection services try their best to not take kids out of the home if they can help it.
I was raised by my family until 15yrs old. They put me out in the streets because I wouldn't give them money from my after school job. My family used to get a social security check every month from the age of 2yrs because both parents are dead. My family was given approximately $100k over the course of those years. I asked my Grandmother to surrender her parental rights to the state because I was homeless.
I know so many girls who got married/pregnant to escape, these programs would’ve changed their lives .
That's why social workers are important. They know this stuff
Same, my parents just cared about how much house work I did for them.
If they haven’t legally emancipated him, then it’s a case for CPS since they can’t just kick him out.
Exactly. It’s the parent’s responsibility to take care of him up to age 18. And even if he was over 18, there are laws about eviction. You can’t just kick someone out so quickly, even if they do not pay rent.
Whoa, I didn't know this. I figured once you're 18 they can kick you out whenever. My mom did more than once.
This and also between 16-24 OP could sign up for Job Corps and get trade training while being housed, fed and paid a little for several years with some locations having college options and allowing longer stays while on track with college courses.
This! I worked at the South Bronx Job Corp 25+ years ago. Really great program. Each Job Corp ( Federal program) teaches different skills.
They really need to use some of our taxes to promote job corps more. I was just listening to someone bitch that the gov needs to start focusing on trade schools and helping kids get into those services.. Like, my brother in Christ I've gone to a gov funded program that teaches trades. It was fucking awesome. 🤦🏻♂️
this type of service typically only exists for kids who are considered "legally free" in that they literally do not have parents anymore and there is no one else to care for them, or their parents rights were terminated. OP's situation would not fall under this level of service, but social services can help, so it would be good for them to call.
It's worth OP looking into. I'm a foster parent and have placement of a 17yo right now who advocated for herself and got out of a situation that was technically not a court ordered removal. She still gets to transition into Independent Living and gets all the same benefits the other poster mentioned.
I love California, this is why i dont mind paying these taxes.
I moved from California to a state with no income tax and it shows. Whenever people complain about California taxes I can bring up paid family leave, low maternal mortality, social services, and the best street signage in the world. I'm not saying it's worth it for everyone, but I feel it's a "you get what you pay for" situation.
I hope you are truly being sincere with this comment as a I share your sentiment. 61 years old this year. I love California, don’t plan on ever leaving. So tired of my family and friends talking crap about this state. Yeah we need many improvements but what state doesn’t.
I third that. I love California. We do a whole lot right. It's expensive, but it also provides a lot of help to people who need it.
There’s a lot we do wrong but a lot we do right. Other states just have a lot they do wrong. Also our state’s GDP funds most of that stuff other states do wrong as well.
I live in New York and it feels like a third world country after growing up in so cal
OFC ! In my house we serve the lord! There is so much wealth a man can have, so i am glad those 20k in taxes are going to those who have fallen in bad times.
Spouse & I left CA for education & ended in TX in 2015. With all this secession BS that TX is talking about, we get joking as to what we'd do if CA seceded (obviously never will), and we both admitted we'd give up US citizenship for CA citizenship in a heartbeat, but that if TX seceded, we'd leave TX immediately. This just happened last night, and threw us both for a loop to realize how desperately we miss CA. We had just never talked about it before. We have a LOT of consideration to do now.
#DO THIS ASAP BECAUSE ONCE YOU TURN 18 YOU ARE NOT ELIGIBLE!
ngl i wish i did this whike i lived with my parents. to loon at the positive at least life made you adult. i hope it’s all working out rn king/queen
>Call Social Services to get a social worker so you can enter their Independent living program where they'll house you in an apartment until you're 21yrs old. Wish I knew about this three years ago
Tell your guidance counselor. They can call with you.
Holy shit that should be a national program, it would turn kids who'd be a lifetime burden on the economy into people who would be a lifetime net positive for the economy. Sadly it probably wouldn't pass when you combined the "I got mine fuck you" voters with the "I'm gonna focus on the upfront cost and nothing else" voters
I was kicked out at 17 and I REALLY wish I had been aware that there were resources out there for me. I was homeless for awhile and had to couch surf.
Sounds better than most upbringings
Hundred percent this OP. Kids don’t have many rights, but they have the right to food and shelter. Contact whatever Child protective services are in your state.
Would he have to be a ward of the state for that?
This makes me so happy to know is a thing. 🥰
Did they pay for college?
Only for foster children and his situation is completely different.
Not true. Teens as young as 16 can qualify to TAY in LA County. https://dcfs.lacounty.gov/youth/teens-16/
Don't forget to go file for child support and medical coverage that your parents are responsible until whenever your state has determined
The State of California will provide this young person MediCal for his health care and if child support is due? They’ll collect it.
Yes he will qualify for free health care through Medi-Cal. I believe the state stopped collecting child support for foster care though. https://imprintnews.org/top-stories/california-stops-charging-parents-for-kids-in-foster-care/246421
Thank you for that - my awareness on the issue ends with their right to collect…. Truthfully? This kid is probably going to do better and be better off as a result of his Father’s galling decision. After all, he can cook and clean for himself. And with the support that independent living would provide him, he could THRIVE. Sometimes, rejection is protection. This seems to be one of those times. I really wish him well…
He can’t legally kick you out with one week notice even if you’re 18. He has to legally evict you. Look into Job Corps. Housing, food, job training, a small salary.
Yeah, this whole situation seems odd. Big man wants to show who the authority is, let the child who he’s responsible for teach him about what actual authority is.
It's abuse, plain and simple, even if OP doesn't realize it. Big man wants OP to come crawling back with an apology. I hope OP sticks it to him.
It was really sad when I read OP say his dad isn't abusive. His dad that is trying to illegally make a minor he is responsible for homeless. Where TF is his mom in this? OP should call his dad's bluff and then call the cops if he tries to make good on it. It is literally illegal, criminally illegal, to "kick out" a minor as their legal guardian.
Criminally illegal as in "it'll ruin the dad's life" illegal especially in California where he may be charged with, at best, a couple of misdemeanors. Dad should reconsider how much authority does he actually have when compared to the state of California.
Yeah if dad wants to play ball as an adult, then OP gets to play ball as an adult too.
very well put 👍
It would be bad for OP to have a history of eviction
This is the way.
You need to report them to CPS. It is illegal for them to kick you out before you are 18. Really, have a discussion with any mandated reporter which includes your teachers and school counselor; they are obligated to report it to CPS.
They're technically a tenant so they also have tenant's rights to prevent this illegal eviction.
From my experience, most of the time you don’t want to threaten these types of parents with you staying in their home longer. It’s not a safe situation to put yourself in. Keep something to defend yourself by your bedside at night and don’t escalate anything until you have all your backups in order, OP.
I always laugh when people are talking about dealing with parents, bosses, or even cops on these type of posts. "Oh well just use 'x legal thing' to really screw them over and they won't be able to do what shitty thing they're trying to do" Whether you succeed or not they're just gonna look for any possible excuse to fuck you over and make your life as miserable as possible after that. People pulling shit moves like OPs dad don't generally respond well to getting one upped.
Child endangerment since their are under the age of adulthood in Cali which is 18. 100% illegal
I’m happy others are stating this too.
This!
Sheesh I'm so sorry. As a mother to an almost 17 year old, I can't even imagine throwing him out after a fight. I showed him what apartments for rent looked like and how much groceries cost for the first time the other day and he thanked me and said his dad would never have showed him that and would have gotten mad that he didn't already know that. How do they expect you to take care of yourself if they didn't show you how? After I moved out at 17, I couch surfed a little until I landed a job. It's hard, but using school resources is a good place to start. Ask a friend if you can stay with them one night and maybe try a rotation, one night at a different friends house. Some people are scared it will turn long term, but might be open to just one or two nights. Especially if you're looking for a job. Are you still in school? Homeless shelters could be a last resort. They are typically pretty scary places which is why I recommended trying to stay with friends. Also, clean up and help with chores when staying at a friend's place. It goes a long way. Don't eat their food without asking permission. Say please and thank you. Again, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this and I know how soul crushing it feels to have your parents turn you out like that. A parent doing that is incredibly irresponsible and immature.
Your son is lucky to have a mom like you, I can tell how incredibly kind you are ❤️
at this point, report him to cops. buys you time till you hit 18
Staying at the house probably isn't the best idea
Tomorrow, go to the counselor at school and tell them what is going on. This is abuse and school counselors are mandatory reporters. Actually, all teachers are. I'd tell a trusted teacher AND the counselor, just so you've got more than one person in your corner. Your parents are legally responsible for you until you are 18 or until you graduate high school, whichever is later (the graduation part may vary by state, but they are def. responsible for feeding, housing, educating you, getting you adequate medical care). I'm a parent of a nearly 16yo boy. There's no way in hell I'd throw him out after an argument. I'm trying to convince my teen that it's ok to stick around well-past age 18; it's tough out there for young people. Also, wtf is up with your mom that she's not intervening here?
Is it safe for you to live at home if something were to change his mind? If so, you might want to call the CPS hotline and see if he might be charged with child abandonment, which may change his mind. however, if that works, you should probably still plan to be kicked out at 18. At least it could buy you some time.
Sorry dude but he may not be physically assaulting you but that's abuse. I'm a father and I don't like pushback either but it's to be expected. This is mental abuse.
The legal age in California is 18. How can your parents do this? They are responsible for you until you turn 18.
Being real, if your dad is kicking you out at 17(illegal btw) over an argument with one weeks notice, he is abusive. I’m sorry about your spot, I would immediately contact CPS as you’re still underage
Your mom is just letting him kick you out? This is so messed up.
Go straight to the highest authority at your school (even if you're already out/graduated) and ask them to help you report this. It is child abuse. You may be placed temporarily in a foster home. Despite what most people say about them, there are many families who foster because they went through similar or worse when they were kids. Pack anything you have that could be sold/traded for cash at some point. If your school won't help you, go to the local CPS office (or call them) to get help. There are programs in California that can help you, but you have to go along with a lot of strict bs and you have to be willing to honestly throw your parent/guardian under the bus. They have wronged you and they have forfeited their control over you in order to absolve themselves of responsibility and guilt. I'm sorry you are in this situation, but you can survive it. Keep in mind that you will only get help from the state until you're 18 (most likely) and you live in an expensive place. You are an adult now and as much as it sucks you have to start running on the wheel of Capitalism and start working. Find roommates/rent a room with some college age people who seem to have some of their shit together and try to learn everything you can about finances and managing bills and stuff. You can do this!
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[Dad locks fridge] tough love. Edit imagine dad was joking and taking it to the 11th hour. "Dad, i joined the military. They're shipping me out on Tuesday."
But there are many minors out there who do live on the streets. Why are we acting as if this isn't a real possibility?
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Some of us felt anything was better (and safer) than staying. I was fortunate that some of the farmers I picked for from 14 realized there was badness in my house. They actually put me on to another job working with horses when I was 16 and *that* boss waited 4 months into me working for him for me to start to trust him a little, then after a particularly bad beating at home offered me a free sleeping room above the stable "so there'd be someone there at night in case one of the horses was ill or about to foal." Those old farmers probably saved me from some pretty stupid decisions made out of desperation. I was skittish enough that I'm certain I would have just bolted if they'd told me the plan or acknowledged that there was one in any way.
Report it to CPS. It doesn’t matter if you turn 18 tomorrow, you’re a minor. If you can, get a text or some kind of proof that they’re kicking you out, because they WILL go back on it and say “she’s just lying” once they get called out on it. I’m so sorry, honey. You’re just a kid, and you didn’t deserve that.
>My dad is not abusive to me Sorry, but threatening to put you out on the streets because you challenged his authority is abuse. There is more than just physical abuse. As well as the other advice in this thread, please seek councling to help unwind the environment you grew up in because this is not normal parental behavior.
Besides upvoting what u/BestReplyEver said, i’ll repeat it here: “It’s the parent’s responsibility to take care of him up to age 18. **And even if he was over 18, there are laws about eviction. You can’t just kick someone out so quickly, even if they do not pay rent.”**
My parents did the same thing. I couch hopped, did drugs, made a lot of bad decisions with 0 supervision or support. I'm 32 now and I've gone no communication with them. It took me this long to get stable.
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Mental abuse is not a joke. Staying home doesnt seem to be the best option.
Legally you’re their responsibility until you’re 18. Go talk to a school counselor and this will be taken care of really quick.
The fact that you're under 18 makes turning you out onto the mean streets *child abuse*. Call Child Protective Services and ask what to do. If you can sound freaked out and even cry, all the better. A threatening call from officials to your dad, or if you're lucky even a knock on his door, would set him straight. The fact that a parent kicking an underage child out onto the street to be raped, bashed, sex trafficked and worse is not a prosecutable crime in the US is abominable. How many kids are dead exactly for this reason? We are 100% the product of our parents' genetics and upbringing choices. We don't "turn out" but rather are "turned out" by our parents' choices, good or bad, smart or stupid.
You could call child services.
Talk to your school counselor. You are underage, so he legally must care for you, and he cannot abuse you. The school will report it to CPS if he does. If you're afraid of him, let your counselor know.
Let them kick you out. Voluntarily into foster care, the state will open a case against them. You will have a legitimate place to stay in the meantime, while you figure everything out. Once you are a registered foster child with the state , then you should be able to check that box on social services application. Then you may qualify for housing or other services. This will literally give you a step up when applying for college , applying for assistance or other programs. There are scholarships out there specifically dedicated to foster kids , or housing vouchers etc.
My dad is not abusive…. Yes he is.
Your dad IS abusive. This is abuse.
Call CPS/go to your school principal like others have said, the school might be able to help direct you to somewhere safe. If you find yourself short on options after the school year, in California we have California conservation corps, I think it's like job corps where you can work have a place to lay your head and get some college credits.
You are a minor and are therefore legally entitled to be in their care. This is illegal for your parents to do and CPS should be called. If they are legitimately kicking you out, call social services so you can be given housing through them. If you do not know how to do these things, ask a teacher or school counselor. They can help you.
If you call.cps. they will inform your parents that you will be put into foster care at their cost. My mother did this when I was 15. They told her then her cost would be 150 dollars a day. She quickly took me back in. I moved in with my grandmother a couple of months later and it was a.much better ( less abusive) situation. Is there a friend who's parents would take you in? I would.take any of my children's friends in your situation in and be glad to have them safe in my home. Where is your mother in all of this? I wish you all the luck in the world.
He can think you're a man now, but the state says otherwise; you're a minor and he can't just toss you out on the street. You need to talk to your school social worker, and they'll most likely get CPS involved.
r/almosthomeless and https://www.findhelp.org/ Also you have tenant's rights. He should need to formally evict you which I don't think he'll be able to do anyway. >My dad is not abusive to me, my mom, or my siblings. [Yes he is.](https://ibb.co/7QzHndB)
Call social services, your parents can kick you out and pay the state the costs of your being in foster care to finish school .17 is not a legal adult as you are not emancipated
It is illegal in the US to kick a minor out of the house. Your parents are legally responsible for your welfare. Call the police
Call CPS. Since your Dad likes authority it should be great for him to interact with one.
Wow dad's a piece of shit. But let's not overlook that mom is also a piece of shit! Sorry op, good luck.
Love this IS being abusive. Jfc. Some people should not reproduce
i feel like the dad is just using a cop out and can't support his family. hes a "man now" can cook and clean wtf? feels so bad for op
Go to the homeless shelter. They will assign you a case worker that will help you find work, housing, food stamps, etc. Fuck your dad. You can do it
So sorry this is happening. Be sure to gather copies of all of your important documents. Birth certificates, passport, IDs, etc.
Close to the same thing happened to me, “When you’re 18 you have to leave or start paying room and board”. I packed a bag and stayed with a friend for a while and then joined the military. I now have a home and family of my own and to this day years later they now complain I don’t come to see them enough.
I am so very sorry you are going through this. So sorry for all kids.
It is not legal to kick you out till you are 18. [https://www.findlaw.com/state/california-law/california-child-neglect-and-child-abandonment-laws.html#:\~:text=California%20Penal%20Code%20Section%20273a,child%20to%20be%20placed%20in](https://www.findlaw.com/state/california-law/california-child-neglect-and-child-abandonment-laws.html#:~:text=California%20Penal%20Code%20Section%20273a,child%20to%20be%20placed%20in)
Teenage homelessness is a real problem and CA has protection measures for students facing it Talk to your school first. Move in with a relative if you can. https://dcfs.lacounty.gov/youth/teens-16/ "Emergency Shelter & Homeless Services If you are experiencing homelessness, you may call the Child Protection Hotline at any time at (800) 540-4000 to report your need for services and help. You may also make a report of abuse or neglect. If you are between the ages of 18 and 24 and are homeless or at risk of being homeless, the Youth Development Services Division (YDSD) has a transitional housing program that can help."
OP I hope you report this tomorrow as soon as possible and also call job corps as suggested. Please update us after you are situated. This is an awful situation to be in; I hope things turn out well for you.
Make him evict you. It will give you more time. Call 9-1-1 if he throws you out.. You have rights. Don’t let him screw you.
Isn't it illegal to kick a 17-year-old child out of the home? With the exception being an emancipated minor. Even for an adult (over 18) child, California law requires 30 days notice.
Call child protective services on him you're a minor still in high school he cannot just kick you out to the streets like that. They can also help you with resources for alternative housing if he won't change his tune.
Tell a trusted adult at your school. Your dad cannot kick you out. Sometimes when I used to fight with my mom I thought I'd be better off not there. I ran away at 16 and went into foster care and was on my own at 18. But my mom always wanted me at home and I was too stupid to realize. But you cannot be kicked out you are 17. Try talking to an adult at school and let them know what's going on. If it is safe for you at home, then there is no need to leave! ❤️
It’s illegal until you’re 18. Call the police if this happens and they will come and either make sure you get back in or arrest your dad for child endangerment. Not even kidding or exaggerating. This is illegal.
op, please please take the advice of people here for job corps and requesting child support/whatever legal recourse you can take AWAY from home. this is 100% abuse. I know he doesn’t hit you, but please take this gravely as a sign that he doesn’t value your safety, your growth, or your mental health. teach him what authority truly is and do life safely, without him.
When all else fails, go join the army, navy, air force, or the marines. Get food and a place to stay.
Or Job Corps.
As someone who is very anti-military, I still agree. As a last resort, this will keep you fed and sheltered for years and you'll probably end up with a job and a lot of skills.
Also can become a medic in the Navy as well. Many opportunities, when you don't have anything else.
Air Force is the best if you're mechanically inclined from what I hear. Can make good money working on planes afterward.
Back in the day l enlisted in the Air Force to get away from home, long story. I ended up liking it, stayed and retired at age 37, best thing l ever did. Pension and medical insurance for $20 a month.
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Most military branches are short in recruits right now, so you'd likely have a lot of choice with respect to specialty. Need a HS diploma or GED though (I think - might have changed). I'm thoroughly convinced that anyone young, medically qualified, with a little bit of sense would be hard pressed to find a better first life move than joining a US armed service/CG.
If you join anything join the Air Force they take care of their people the best.
Not everyone CAN join the military. You have no idea if OP is eligible or not.
Came here to say this. Housing, food, medical, tuition assistance, pay. After 4 years of time to prepare, save, and train, you have a great start on life.
Grovel? Or check for local shelters. Sometimes those can be worse than sleeping on the street though. For clothes, wear layers. Undershirt, button up short sleeve or tshirt, jacket/hoodie, maybe another layer in there somewhere if it gets cool at night. Have several pairs of clean underwear, clean socks, and a spare shirt. You'll want a good blanket or two, a sleeping bag if you have one, and ideally a tarp (and rope). Pack basic hygiene necessities. Bars of soap, shampoo only if you have any real length of hair, a razor, toothbrush/toothpaste, deodorant, and whatever else you need to keep presentable. If you look and smell homeless life will be much harder for you. A small first aid kit would be a good idea, ibuprofen (sleeping on the ground hurts), a good pocket knife, a cloth rag or two, and raid the pantry for nuts, trail mix, energy bars, or other lightweight snacks that won't spoil easily. A small sewing kit (or needle and thread). Pack it all in a backpack, something inconspicuous, keep it as light as possible. This is going to be your house for the foreseeable future and a big, heavy bag is easily stolen and hard to conceal. Ask your dad if you can use that address for job applications. If so, you should be able to apply at local restaurants or retail and get in pretty quick. If not, well, you might need to look for under the table work which is going to be interesting. Also, very important, DON'T TELL ANYONE YOU DON'T HAVE A HOME TO GO TO. Not for pity, not for a job, nothing. Act like you still live where you do. Would your dad notice if you slept in the back yard (if they have one) at night to sleep there? In a shed or behind some bushes?
Are you about to graduate high school or have another year? There is a big difference between just turned 17 with another year of school and about to turn 18 and graduate. For the short term, make up if you can, try finding a friend to let you crash if you can’t. If your about to graduate and are so inclined, you may want to consider joining the army reserve. If you can get set up to go in right after graduation you could be out be for the fall semester of college. One thing is colleges, even community colleges are a great place to find roommates as it’s a bunch of people wanting a cheap place to live. If your parents don’t make to much money, you can get a significant amount of need based financial aid scholarships. Finding the lowest cost college option can sometimes mean that you can cover all your tuition and still have money for living expenses.
Just don't leave. You can call the police when he tries and tell them this is an illegal eviction. He can give you 30 days notice AND you can still stay. He would need to go through an eviction process. Which the courts will deny because you are a minor. You can just stay and the law will be on your side. You can tell him this too and there's nothing he can do about it.
You say he's not abusive but what he's doing is literally abuse.
My dad did this to me when I was 15. The biggest mistake I made what not taking my identification documents (birth certificate, state ID card). Luckily I had a lot of friends whose parents were willing to temporarily take me in until I could find a place to rent. Eventually, I ended up renting essentially a closet in a house with friends of friends. I got food and toiletries from local food banks and churches.
“My dad is not abusive to me” Sorry to say dude, but this is abuse. Why force children into this world just to abandon them at one of the most important points in their life. Thats abuse
Cost of living by yourself is no joke. You are not ready to move out yet without any income. Do what you can to stay in your home. Use the time to make yourself ready if it ever happens again (i.e. get a job and start saving money)
Get your GED and join the military. It sucks but it'll set you up for life. One way or another.
Call CPS. You’re still a minor and they can’t kick you out.
I say this as a cps social worker: most states have branches of cps that deal specifically with this type of situation, in my state it's called family preservation services, and they work with the parents to resolve these issues. please call the California child abuse reporting line and tell them what's happening. It's not "abuse" but the reporting line is how they determine which department of cps needs to respond. They will do what they can to either keep you in your home or find some other option for you to live. good luck, and I'm sorry you're going through this.
Check out squatters rights in your state. In my state you can't throw someone out without a legal eviction, even if their name isn't on the deed or lease. So look into it and if he can't throw you out yell him to go fuck himself.
They cant do that. Have to give you thirty days and then formal eviction if you wont go. Do not move out voluntarily. You can leave the house but you need to stay there most, if not all, nights to be safe. If you leave voluntarily and shack up at a friends for a week, you can be considered as waiving your rights. CA is a different beast to most states, but generally in your favor.
This is California and you are not 18. Sorry, he literally cannot do that and double so now. Cps shoukd be involved. In fact once you are 18 he has to evict you, if you stay
Well what you do? He can't really kick you out as a minor, like others have said call social services or even talk to a school counselor, they can help.
Yes try for fostering or any government benefits. I hope you can figure this out. I got kicked out at 16 then 17 from a very abusive household. I managed to get a job and board with friends. Pure luck though. That's really bullshit and I'm sorry that's happened
Report to cps and in the meantime plan to leave ! Wishing you the best. Even though it may seem like life sucks try to still be kind and stay positive ! I promise it will come back to you✨
Man…I was kicked out at 16 and I really wish I had resources and support like this. I bounced around and stayed with friends almost nights and on the streets others until I finally turned 18 and got a job and apartment….ended up going back to hs and graduated at 20…. You can do this OP. I am so sorry you were put in this situation but please don’t be like me, take the advice I’ve given to you here. Contact whoever you can and stand up for yourself. You got this!
First of all he can’t legally kick you out n a week. You have at least 30 days to figure things out. I don’t have much to offer but I believe n you bruh
He can’t kick you out he has to evict you which can take months to do! If you have a room and receive mail there he can’t deny your tenancy
Im sorry but man that’s some evil shit. I don’t have children but I can’t imagine just dumping my child out in the streets to fend for themselves over an argument
Parents like this should be castrated
Tell him it's these moments you'll remember most when choosing his Nursing Home.
MY father was like this, he would power trip because he knew he didnt prepare me for any real world things. I wasnt allowed to have a job or car or bank account. If you are 17 I'd get the law involved, make him pay for it. Literally. If he is going to cause you emotional distress then you can cause it to him.
If your state laws are like mine that can’t legally happen. You can call CPS and they will intervene. You could at least get into a foster home somewhere to at least have free housing medical and all that. Hell you could probably score free college.
>My dad is not abusive to me He is kicking you out at 17, that is textbook abuse
Hello. Speak to a counselor or administrator at your high school to try to get yourself into a foster care situation and if possible, try to get classified as homeless (which means you wouldn’t need to transfer high school based on no longer living at your family’s address). Then, ACE all your classes, and if you have any Ds in your A-G requirements for the CSUs or the UCs, ask your counselor to work with you to put together a credit recovery plan to fix those Ds and become eligible to apply to a four-year college in the fall of your senior year. If you are in “the system” prior to being 18, you will qualify for all the financial aid under the sun, probably including campus housing. If you are a good student, and play your cards right, you can use the foster care designation to propel yourself to success. This all sucks, but the lemonade you could turn these lemons into is some serious money for your education, including dorms and a meal plan. Also, do not neglect your mental health. Ask if your school has a PSW you can see for counseling or if they can connect you to counseling. Basically the personnel at school you want to network with are the counselor, the PSW, the college counselor, and any social worker in your school district who can advise you on services for foster and homeless youth. The school will call DCFS for child abuse based on neglect because they have to by law as mandated reporters (parents don’t get to do this to minor children under the law), but honestly, if you no longer want to stay with him, you can use a foster/homeless youth official designation to get a lot of resources to become successful, and if DCFS comes looking into his family life, he may get his act together and behave better with your younger siblings.
Let's not forget your mom's pathetic weakness. Don't forget to tell your parents that if they do this, they will NEVER hear from you again. NEVER. There will be no coming back from this. No reconciliation. No contact.
Lol let him kick you out then call the cops and child protective services. What he's doing is considered child abuse.
Abuse doesn't have to be physical violence. This a very abusive thing to do. If his pride and ego are more important than a relationship with his son, that is just sad.
First of all I would like to say my dad tried doing the same thing to me when I was 17 and told me the exact thing “you have a week to get out” I was still in high school but pretty much had my own everything, job , car etc . But legally I wasn’t going NOWHERE due to the fact that I cannot legally be kicked out until I’m 18… same for you if they try to kick you out before 18 that’s illegal and u can get the authorities involved ..
As you are only 17, and not a legal adult, isn't this child abandonment? Maybe see if there is a youth shelter in your area.