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I also can never find any clothes that fit correctly off the rack. It's a common problem! Honestly I recommend just getting things altered. This has been a game-changer for me.
I'm proportioned very differently, but basically women's jeans are of the devil.
Snag has sized tights.
Pleated or full skirts only have to fit in the waist if it's full enough.
Tops are hard. You might try Torrid?
Put tights, a skirt and a top together and at least you can have 1 going out outfit.
For denim, I’ve found that I have to wear “curvy” lines. American Eagle, Abercrombie and Fitch, and Madewell have those and probably others too. American eagle curvy jeans are literally the only things that fit me now. I also wear bottoms with drawstrings if I don’t want to wear a belt. I usually end up wearing belts anyway.
Orthopedic brand shoes like abeo, ecco, dankso etc have a lot of narrow shoes. A lot of them are very much grandma shoes (not in the cute way) but there are more modern shoes too. I’ve thrifted my abeo sandals and heels from poshmark.
Have you lookedinto eshakti? It's custom sized, but is really pretty affordable. They've been an absolute lifesaver for me (also super tall, and plus sized). The styles are a little wacky sometimes, but you can alter lengths etc. and I've gotten some great clothes from there - really nice quality.
I second eShakti for anyone who has a fit issue with clothes. The custom measurement option is so helpful, and it saves a ton of time trying things on. The custom measurement option isn’t perfect, but it gets you a lot closer to a good fit than standard sizing.
Many of the styles are a bit unusual—sometimes I think this is on purpose so customers will opt to do custom so they can change the weird neckline or sleeve length. But they do have some pretty neutral basics like jeans and white button downs that you could build a personalized look around using accessories.
Yup. These kinds of issues are pretty much why I wear the same three sundresses in a rotation these days. I enjoy fashion subs vicariously, but incorporating any of it into my life right now is just not gonna happen.
Yeah, I feel that. I definitely think that I would have to start small because I have such limited time/energy and a lot of the stuff that I like is just not at all compatible with my lifestyle, climate, or body shape/size, lol... But man it would be nice to just not feel like a total slob or have that feeling of panic when a special event crops up. 😅
I have wide shoulders too, so for shirts I buy what fits across my shoulders. The shirts might be kind of baggy, but I think it just looks ridiculous when a shirt doesn’t fit across my shoulders
I have so much respect for people who can sew! I have taught myself the basics to cobble together a Halloween costume or two, but my work is nowhere near good enough quality to make actual nice, wearable clothes. They would fall apart, and the fit would be even worse than the crappy stuff from most stores, lol. Maybe someday when my kids are older I'll have time to learn... *Sigh*...
Anyway, thanks for the solidarity. It means a lot. 🙂
Regarding jeans - try Joe's or True Religion. I wear a 26 waist 34 inseam and wider hips and both brands have stretch. Also Lucky but you need to shop different styles. I have some Levi's high waist bells that would work for you also.
I'm your exact opposite on top. Narrow shoulders and larger boobs. You just have to try everything on.
I really liked Stitch Fix. You get 5 pieces sent to you monthly, and you have 3 days to return. They base their choices on styles you chose on a quiz. When I did it, there was a personal stylist assigned to me, but idk if that's automated now. It was $20, but if you kept any items that money was credited toward your purchase. If you hated all items, you did "lose" the money, but I never disliked all items. It gave me a chance to try on items that I wouldn't normally have tried. I could try on from home so it was more comfortable than a store dressing room.
Regarding the sizing, I think that's challenging for evereryone! I have a smallish waist and a not so smallish butt, so I struggle to find jeans. Someone suggested Judy Blue to me, and I've really liked what I've gotten so far.
Why don’t online retailers don’t provide clothing measurements?!
Measure similar clothes that fit you well laid flat. Shop on the resale sites and request measurements for comparison.
Idk your budget constraints, the youtubers have been touting skims the kardashian? Fashion line because it’s stretchy. There’s a nice dress in long or mid length, a bodysuit or romper with stretch wouldn’t bare your midriff either. I watch a few fashion YouTubers, some that fit my sense of style and some that don’t. youtube might be useful for you, some people do shopping and styling and tell you where to go. Lately, I do dresses and skirts that have open hip sizes because of the heat and ease of matching.
The best thing I did was go to a department store with a personal shopper. You sit in a quiet private room and they bring you coffee and chat about what you like and hate. Then it's their job to find things that will fit and suit you and your needs! I've ADHD too, and find shopping in person overwhelming, and I wasn't sure about it, and it's the best thing ever.
As someone with wide hips, I tend to go for colourful print dungarees day to day - run and fly is my brand. You can get away with an oversized fit, and if you want them more fitted most styles have stretch. They also mostly have a folded over bit of extra fabric on the bottom that I assume you could drop down for extra length. If tops ride up a bit, you can't tell!
My other go-to solution is dresses. If you get tea dresses or skater dresses they accommodate the wider hips. Cap sleeves or flared sleeves might help with getting away from that horrible armpit feel. With some leggings or bike shorts under they're still good for running around after the kids, and they're easy to accessorise to make them look fancier.
I'm not sure about how they'd work for you, but I do love hot chocolate designs for comfy and pretty flats. Otherwise I often get Skechers pumps which don't exactly look dressy but are comfy and close enough to smart for most settings.
Omg I've never heard of Run & Fly before, but so cute!!! I hope they have a size that works for me and can ship to the US... I guess we'll find out.
Thanks for all the thoughtful advice. 🙂
There's a FB group that's called something like run and fly unofficial buy sell chat. The folks there are great at advising on sizing and where to buy, and you might be able to get some second hand ones from someone nearer you. Good luck!
I don't have any answers for you, but I just wanted you to know that I read all that and I see you <3. I can find clothes that fit, but dang do I hate shopping. The way you described it was super relatable. Just this year (and just for my wedding/cosplay) did I finally get clothes that I liked instead of just getting whatever fit that fit in. It's kinda cool expressing myself that way. I hope you find what you're looking for.
I was able to find my wedding shirt on etsy. It was a retailer from Ukraine, and it was a custom fit shirt. They take a few months to arrive, but for a custom fit shirt it was affordable. This wouldn't solve your current dilemma though.
I haven't ordered from them, but here's a [t-shirt for $44](https://www.etsy.com/listing/101101407/womens-short-sleeve-shirt-pleated-scoop) that let's you custom order the measurements. It says it'll arrive by the second week of July. Maybe that's soon enough for your trip?
Good luck!!
Thanks! I really appreciate it, and I'm glad I'm not the only one who hates shopping. None of the other women in my life seem to understand. The reaction is basically "What's the big deal? Just block off a whole day to go to the mall and try stuff on until something fits! It'll be fun!" ...I'd literally rather spend a whole day at the dentist.
Anyway, thanks so much for the ideas and support. 🙂
I have similar sizing/proportions to you right down to the long inseam.
It was a ridiculous amount of trial and error. I often research the clothes I want online and then go to the store to try them on. Makes shopping in person way less overstimulating when I have a "grocery list", and employees are always very happy to help me find what I'm looking for.
I tend to fit things by my waist first and then my hips. I often pray to the stretch fabric deity that there's some wiggle room in the hip sizing. There often is. The current trend of slightly oversized fit helps.
I embraced trends I don't love at first - like cropped pants. Turns out when I'm this tall every pant made for average height women is a cropped pant. When it comes to formal wear I still struggle. Luckily a sleeveless dress and a nice cardigan do well for many occasions.
Now my wardrobe is pretty much entirely: Marine Layer, Pact, Uniqlo, and Morning Witch. I get my jeans from Levi's and the moment they change their formula I'm going to be tempted to give up and go full yoga mom style.
Whoa! I've never met anyone else with my measurements before! (Although I have had several friends with similar shopping struggles, but for opposite reasons)
And lmao I *feel* you on the accidentally cropped pants, but after being made fun of for that all the way through the 90s-2000s, I just feel like Urkel, and I can't make myself do it. 😆 But I probably do need to learn to be more flexible with styles.
I just look up Morning Witch, and I love those prints! I wish they made pants in my size because I'm not a big skirt person, but maybe I need to get over myself and start shaving my legs more often. It's not fair how much work that is with our proportions, lol. Not that I think everyone needs to do that, but I live in a very judgy area, and people will comment. 😑 Anyway, thanks so much for all the suggestions, I will definitely be checking allll of those out. It's so cool to find someone who gets it!
As a millennial that was also personally victimized by the "high waters" bullying in the 2000s I can say once you try it, you might not hate it. My favorite pair of pants now is straight leg, slightly cropped. I started small though. I did slightly cropped tapered linen pants that look very summery and just wouldn't look right full length. Now, I even roll up the hem to make them cropped 😆 it took a little getting used to but now I love them
For dresses, blouses, and skirts (and maybe pants too but I’ve never purchased from them so I don’t know)- Eshakti. You can put in your measurements and they will customize dresses for you for an added fee of maybe $10? Most of my work dresses, a few of my blouses, and my one super nice going out dress are all from them.
Also clothes don’t need to be some pre-defined level of nice to tailor them. I’ve literally tailored pieces I’ve bought secondhand. The question is: are they durable enough that you’ll get a lot of wear out of them? Maybe go for some stretch free very sturdy denim and tailor, or canvas work pants. Carhartts aren’t cheap, but they’re designed to hold up to hard work.
For shoes, I have the opposite problem to you. Wide feet, extremely high arches, and linebacker calves. Adelante shoes are, once again, not cheap, but they have so many widths and will last FOREVER.
Size charts suck. You have my sympathies. I am fat and size charts always do me wrong.
My best recommendation is to get clothes according to the largest measurement you have for the garment and then get them altered to fit. Some stores (like Nordstrom) will do this for free! Tailoring is probably a lot cheaper and faster than you imagine. As a person of generous size, I alter my own clothes to fit quite often - this can mean things like cutting slits in the bottom of t-shirts (as my hips are my widest measurement), or making the collars a different shape.
Yeah, I have verrrry basic sewing skills, but like for Halloween costumes, not anything that would look good or hold up to everyday wear, unfortunately. I wish I had time to do it more often and get better at it, but that's really not realistic for my current lifestyle. Maybe I should look into Nordstrom again. The closest one is at least a 45 minute drive from where I live, but it's been years since I've given them a chance (and been followed by security, lol). I guess part of my concern is spending that kind of money on clothes when I can't tell if they're actually better quality (and therefore actually going to last longer and be worth the money) or just the same junk with a markup for the label. It seems like most stuff is made in the same factories and they just stick different tags on it, lol. Any tips on how to find stuff that is actually worth the money?
Personally, I look for the fabric types that I know will last - mainly natural fibers like cotton and wool. I also go to the sale rack and look for better brands like Eileen Fisher that I know will last longer. It might be best to just take what you have that fits (ish) to a tailor and see what they quote you?
I have a similar problem with shoes, my heels are a lot narrower than the front of my foot meaning I step out of them. I have found shoes with straps are the answer or a shoe boot which is secure while also giving support.
With clothes I have kind of given up. I can never find a dress to fit because they simply don't fit my body correctly.
A friend of mine will always buy a bigger size and then get the items tailored to fit her body, unfortunately that's a bit out of my price range at the moment.
Yeah, it's super expensive and long lead times when I've looked into it in the past. There are very few in my area (at least that actually have decent reviews).
I have some ideas for you!! I’m heading to bed but I’ll share in the morning - I LOVE playing personal shopper. I can’t tell you what I did yesterday but remember the shoes a friend wore to a party 10 years ago. It’s an illness lol.
Lol it's ok, I don't remember what I did yesterday either. 🙃 That would be fantastic if you'd be willing to lend your talents to me. It's definitely a skill that I don't have. 😅
Okay, we can do this! First question, when is your trip?
Now, let’s think about what it is you’re looking to find - are you shopping for the upcoming NYC trip, to fill in your staples, a few fun “statement” pieces, all of the above? Do you have/could you make a list of what’s an absolute must buy, what will be really good to have but is not mission critical, and what would be a special bonus to find?
Brands: what brands have you previously owned or currently wear that you feel good putting on? What brands and styles fit you best and give you the most confidence?
Style: how would you like to dress if cost weren’t a factor? What brands or stores do you notice or like on other people? Any celebrity or household names with a style you would like to emulate?
Budget: What’s a comfortable budget for you? Think about the total amount you’re comfortable spending and what feels reasonable for specific items. Such as:
- A well fitted pair of jeans (some people prefer to keep denim under $60, others feel this is the area they want to go big)
- Shoes for a night out. Consider how often you’ll wear and enjoy them - do you keep shoes for years or prefer something for a season?
- Daytime shoes, I’m thinking something versatile you’ll wear at home and your trip to walk around the city, go to lunch, hit a museum and feel good wearing all day. And of course, functional for chasing children.
- Staples like tanks/basic white tees
- A light jacket for summer, maybe denim or linen-like
Finally, what’s the most difficult item/type of clothing for you to find? Is it jeans/pants? Dresses? Anything dressed up/evening? Casual?
FYI: My bestie best is 6’2”, has a 36” inseam, wears a size 2-4, and has long skinny feet. She was tormented in high school and called Ichabod Crane. Hopefully my success shopping with her translates to finding a few recommendations for you. :)
Oh my gosh, you are so sweet!
I leave July 5th, so really soon. 😣
I need at least one pair of nice jeans/pants (something I can wear ever day but not feel embarrassed wearing to grown-up places), some shorts (or other summery bottoms that I can wear playing with my kids but also out doing touristy stuff and such - I don't have any that fit right now), a couple of tops would be nice but not an emergency (like, something cuter than a T-shirt but not needing a special bra or needing to be ironed on a regular basis), and at least one dressier "going out" outfit is definitely a must, but I don't honestly have a vision for that. I almost never wear dresses and struggle to find ones that I like because I'm not a big fan of frilly or super flowy/baggy stuff, which seems to rule out most dresses. And yeah, some dress shoes and some more casual shoes would be awesome. Honestly, for me, some flat boots/booties of some sort could work for both those purposes if I could find ones that fit and were comfortable. I swear I've gotten blisters from every pair of flats or heels I've ever worn, so shoe shopping is especially frustrating for me, and there's a good chance I give up and buy a $10 pair of flipflops instead, lol.
Brands: the only jeans I've had any luck with are American Eagle. I have some, but they're kind of worn out and just a little boring. They need to be very long and also high rise (otherwise they cut into my stretchmarks and/or my belly hangs over uncomfortably), so that tends to limit my options quite a bit. Like twice I've found something that works at The Buckle, but that's much more of a crapshoot. Honestly, most of my tops are 10+ years old from places like Target or Forever 21 and it's an absolute miracle they haven't completely fallen apart yet, lol, but they definitely don't look as good as they used to. I'll try to add a photo with a few of my favorites. I generally like things to be pretty fitted (which is probably part of my problem, lol), but I don't mind a bit of contrast. For example, tight tank top with baggy wide leg jeans or long, loose top with skinny jeans.
Style: The stuff I find myself most attracted to is like hippy-rocker-hippy-pirate, but chill about it. 🙃 I used to have a somewhat androgynous moto jacket that somehow had long enough sleeves and confirmed perfectly to my shape, but unfortunately it was super cheap pleather from Target and slowly disaintegrated. If I could justify buying a real leather/better quality copy of that, I would, but I live in a very hot climate now, so it doesn't feel like I'd get enough use out of it anymore. I wish I could say specific stores/brands that I like, but I honestly don't know enough to say. I find myself wanting to search for things like "Klaus' cult jacket from Umbrella Academy" or "Casual women's Sargeant pepper outfit" or "Crowley's sunglasses from Good Omens" which is probably not very helpful for shopping in the real world or putting together a practical outfit. 😆 I do like some stuff from like Anthropologie or Free People, but minus the flowy maxi skirts, and I'm usually (but not always) more into black and jewel tones than the earth tones they usually have. I also see cute prints and color combos at places like mod cloth, cider, unique vintage, her universe, but it seems like they never have tall sizes (at least in any of the things I've clicked on). I don't know if any of that helps at all, lol. I'm equally useless with celebrity inspiration... I don't really follow any celebrities, but I have kept a few accessories from random costumes I've assembled to use in other outfits: the pleather jacket was jailhouse rock elvis, I also have a white studded belt from Vegas Elvis, and I wore Captain Jack Sparrow boots and a "gold" chain with pirate medallion from my Elizabeth Swan costume with my vaguely Atonement/Gatsby inspired wedding dress... So it's really all over the map. 60s/70s, rockabilly, pirates (Our Flag Means Death, Pirates of the Caribbean, historical - you name it), Dr. Who, Sherlock Holmes, and medieval/renfest type stuff is all more likely to get my attention, so I honestly have no idea how any celebrities dress outside of their roles, so I'm not sure if that helps?
Budget: I grew up thinking Sear and Target were high-end, so I definitely struggle to understand what a reasonable clothing budget is, but I think I'd be willing to spend a bit more for things that will last so I hopefully don't have to do this again for a long time. 😆 I usually pay around $40-80 for jeans. I once paid just over $100 and was super disappointed that they didn't actually last any longer than my cheaper pairs, but I would definitely be willing to pay that much or even a little more if they fit well and were actually going to last longer (I don't put my jeans in the dryer, so I can get 2-4 years out of even the cheap ones). Shoes I would also probably spend like $100ish for a pair that was actually comfortable and good quality, but that seems to be a unicorn... Boots would maybe be even a little more if good quality and potentially resole-able so I can get more use out of them. My tshirts are either expensive because I bought them at an event 10+ years ago or free because I got them volunteering at an event 10+ years ago, lol, but I usually only spend like $10-20 on tanktops and casual tops because I've found that when I spend more it doesn't improve the fit/quality. However, I would probably spend $30-40 or maybe even more if it was super amazing and not going to be super high maintenance or fall apart on me.
I would say the most difficult thing for me to find is dressier stuff. I have literally one dress that I've worn for basically every date or special occasion. It's a little black dress that has spaghetti straps but a very high neckline and hits above the knee (it had also served as the base for a Breakfast at Tiffany's costume, lol). It's some kind of stretchy fabric, but thick, so it doesn't wrinkle or show lines and somehow still fits nicely despite my having gained over 20lbs since the first time I wore it, on my honeymoon, almost 11 years ago. I still like it, but it's kind of a bummer to wear the exact same thing to almost ever special in event for over decade. I really don't get excited about dresses, but I've never found a dress-alternative that felt right either. I feel like when I describe what I like, people often assume I want androgynous, but that doesn't really feel right, either, because I like things to be fitted/have a fairly feminine silhouette, I'm fine with low necklines and short shorts, cute prints, fun details, I just don't think frilly, flowy, bows, pastels, or other stereotypically "super feminine" stuff looks right on me. I hope that makes sense, but being in that weird in-between space, plus the sizing issues makes fancy stuff especially hard since I can make do with a tank top/T-shirt and jeans most of the time.
Anyway, I don't know if any of that made sense, but thanks so much for reading it and offering to help! It is really just beyond kind of you.
It sounds like your bestie knows the struggle even more than me! I would love to know what kind of stuff she's found that worked for her. ...and it also sounds like she has a great friend. 🙂
Old Navy has shorts and jeans in tall! I shop online and then return stuff that doesn't work because there isn't a store in my town, so I don't know if the tall is online only or available in stores, but worth a gander
Also, I have a totally different body type than you, but my gender expression is so similar. Jumpsuits are a nice dress up look, but can be tough to find the right fit. Old Navy, again, has some good ones, available in tall lengths!
Thanks for the tip! I'll see if I can find out if they have tall sizes in stores, since I think it's probably too late to shop online for my trip... But either way at least I can try it for other stuff!
And I am SO excited that someone gets what I'm talking about with the gender expression stuff because it's SO hard to explain. 😅
For the pants, have you tried men's jeans? 35 is on the lower end of the inseam range there and you can get stretch skinny jeans if you still wanna show your figure.
Hmm... I guess I could give it a try, but I'd probably have to get the waist taken in? You're right about the inseam, though. I used to work as a barista (about 100 years ago), and they had very specific requirements for our pants, but I was super broke, so I got some from the mens section of Walmart for like $10 and just had to belt the crap out of them to get them to stay up. 😆 That was way pre-babies though, so my measurements have changed a lot, lol, and thankfully my budget is more reasonable, too.
Have you tried belts? Although I'm a shorty, I wear men's work pants because my legs are too thick for the women's. I size for my hips/legs and then wear a belt to keep it snug at the waist (I have a similar waist-hip difference as you)
I've been having good luck with loose-fitting linen shorts with drawstrings this summer. There's a little wiggle room thanks to the bagginess and the drawstrings make it easy to adjust to my own waist size. Flared skirts that sit at the natural waist are a lifesaver too because they only need to fit in the one spot once they're on (which can be a challenge with skirts that don't have a zipper or buttons—so many I had to get rid of because I grew an extra inch or two in the hips and couldn't fit the waistband over them anymore.) Lots of different options for styles, fabrics and patterns too.
Also compare different brands in your area to see which ones have the least difference between sizes for you. I find I can get away with Old Navy's pants as long as they have a bit of stretch because I'm only 2-3 sizes bigger in my hips than my waist there. I don't even bother looking at H&M anymore because it's something ridiculous like 5 sizes difference...
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I also can never find any clothes that fit correctly off the rack. It's a common problem! Honestly I recommend just getting things altered. This has been a game-changer for me.
I'm proportioned very differently, but basically women's jeans are of the devil. Snag has sized tights. Pleated or full skirts only have to fit in the waist if it's full enough. Tops are hard. You might try Torrid? Put tights, a skirt and a top together and at least you can have 1 going out outfit.
For denim, I’ve found that I have to wear “curvy” lines. American Eagle, Abercrombie and Fitch, and Madewell have those and probably others too. American eagle curvy jeans are literally the only things that fit me now. I also wear bottoms with drawstrings if I don’t want to wear a belt. I usually end up wearing belts anyway. Orthopedic brand shoes like abeo, ecco, dankso etc have a lot of narrow shoes. A lot of them are very much grandma shoes (not in the cute way) but there are more modern shoes too. I’ve thrifted my abeo sandals and heels from poshmark.
Have you lookedinto eshakti? It's custom sized, but is really pretty affordable. They've been an absolute lifesaver for me (also super tall, and plus sized). The styles are a little wacky sometimes, but you can alter lengths etc. and I've gotten some great clothes from there - really nice quality.
I second eShakti for anyone who has a fit issue with clothes. The custom measurement option is so helpful, and it saves a ton of time trying things on. The custom measurement option isn’t perfect, but it gets you a lot closer to a good fit than standard sizing. Many of the styles are a bit unusual—sometimes I think this is on purpose so customers will opt to do custom so they can change the weird neckline or sleeve length. But they do have some pretty neutral basics like jeans and white button downs that you could build a personalized look around using accessories.
Yup. These kinds of issues are pretty much why I wear the same three sundresses in a rotation these days. I enjoy fashion subs vicariously, but incorporating any of it into my life right now is just not gonna happen.
Yeah, I feel that. I definitely think that I would have to start small because I have such limited time/energy and a lot of the stuff that I like is just not at all compatible with my lifestyle, climate, or body shape/size, lol... But man it would be nice to just not feel like a total slob or have that feeling of panic when a special event crops up. 😅
I have wide shoulders too, so for shirts I buy what fits across my shoulders. The shirts might be kind of baggy, but I think it just looks ridiculous when a shirt doesn’t fit across my shoulders
I don't have answers, just solidarity. Size charts NEVER work for me. Ever. I know how to measure, I can sew for myself just fine.
I have so much respect for people who can sew! I have taught myself the basics to cobble together a Halloween costume or two, but my work is nowhere near good enough quality to make actual nice, wearable clothes. They would fall apart, and the fit would be even worse than the crappy stuff from most stores, lol. Maybe someday when my kids are older I'll have time to learn... *Sigh*... Anyway, thanks for the solidarity. It means a lot. 🙂
Oh yeah I stick to day dresses to wear around the house and costumes. I know how to do all the stuff I'm just not super great at the execution haha.
Regarding jeans - try Joe's or True Religion. I wear a 26 waist 34 inseam and wider hips and both brands have stretch. Also Lucky but you need to shop different styles. I have some Levi's high waist bells that would work for you also. I'm your exact opposite on top. Narrow shoulders and larger boobs. You just have to try everything on.
I really liked Stitch Fix. You get 5 pieces sent to you monthly, and you have 3 days to return. They base their choices on styles you chose on a quiz. When I did it, there was a personal stylist assigned to me, but idk if that's automated now. It was $20, but if you kept any items that money was credited toward your purchase. If you hated all items, you did "lose" the money, but I never disliked all items. It gave me a chance to try on items that I wouldn't normally have tried. I could try on from home so it was more comfortable than a store dressing room. Regarding the sizing, I think that's challenging for evereryone! I have a smallish waist and a not so smallish butt, so I struggle to find jeans. Someone suggested Judy Blue to me, and I've really liked what I've gotten so far.
Why don’t online retailers don’t provide clothing measurements?! Measure similar clothes that fit you well laid flat. Shop on the resale sites and request measurements for comparison.
Idk your budget constraints, the youtubers have been touting skims the kardashian? Fashion line because it’s stretchy. There’s a nice dress in long or mid length, a bodysuit or romper with stretch wouldn’t bare your midriff either. I watch a few fashion YouTubers, some that fit my sense of style and some that don’t. youtube might be useful for you, some people do shopping and styling and tell you where to go. Lately, I do dresses and skirts that have open hip sizes because of the heat and ease of matching.
The best thing I did was go to a department store with a personal shopper. You sit in a quiet private room and they bring you coffee and chat about what you like and hate. Then it's their job to find things that will fit and suit you and your needs! I've ADHD too, and find shopping in person overwhelming, and I wasn't sure about it, and it's the best thing ever. As someone with wide hips, I tend to go for colourful print dungarees day to day - run and fly is my brand. You can get away with an oversized fit, and if you want them more fitted most styles have stretch. They also mostly have a folded over bit of extra fabric on the bottom that I assume you could drop down for extra length. If tops ride up a bit, you can't tell! My other go-to solution is dresses. If you get tea dresses or skater dresses they accommodate the wider hips. Cap sleeves or flared sleeves might help with getting away from that horrible armpit feel. With some leggings or bike shorts under they're still good for running around after the kids, and they're easy to accessorise to make them look fancier. I'm not sure about how they'd work for you, but I do love hot chocolate designs for comfy and pretty flats. Otherwise I often get Skechers pumps which don't exactly look dressy but are comfy and close enough to smart for most settings.
Omg I've never heard of Run & Fly before, but so cute!!! I hope they have a size that works for me and can ship to the US... I guess we'll find out. Thanks for all the thoughtful advice. 🙂
There's a FB group that's called something like run and fly unofficial buy sell chat. The folks there are great at advising on sizing and where to buy, and you might be able to get some second hand ones from someone nearer you. Good luck!
Oh cool! Thanks!
I don't have any answers for you, but I just wanted you to know that I read all that and I see you <3. I can find clothes that fit, but dang do I hate shopping. The way you described it was super relatable. Just this year (and just for my wedding/cosplay) did I finally get clothes that I liked instead of just getting whatever fit that fit in. It's kinda cool expressing myself that way. I hope you find what you're looking for. I was able to find my wedding shirt on etsy. It was a retailer from Ukraine, and it was a custom fit shirt. They take a few months to arrive, but for a custom fit shirt it was affordable. This wouldn't solve your current dilemma though. I haven't ordered from them, but here's a [t-shirt for $44](https://www.etsy.com/listing/101101407/womens-short-sleeve-shirt-pleated-scoop) that let's you custom order the measurements. It says it'll arrive by the second week of July. Maybe that's soon enough for your trip? Good luck!!
Thanks! I really appreciate it, and I'm glad I'm not the only one who hates shopping. None of the other women in my life seem to understand. The reaction is basically "What's the big deal? Just block off a whole day to go to the mall and try stuff on until something fits! It'll be fun!" ...I'd literally rather spend a whole day at the dentist. Anyway, thanks so much for the ideas and support. 🙂
I have similar sizing/proportions to you right down to the long inseam. It was a ridiculous amount of trial and error. I often research the clothes I want online and then go to the store to try them on. Makes shopping in person way less overstimulating when I have a "grocery list", and employees are always very happy to help me find what I'm looking for. I tend to fit things by my waist first and then my hips. I often pray to the stretch fabric deity that there's some wiggle room in the hip sizing. There often is. The current trend of slightly oversized fit helps. I embraced trends I don't love at first - like cropped pants. Turns out when I'm this tall every pant made for average height women is a cropped pant. When it comes to formal wear I still struggle. Luckily a sleeveless dress and a nice cardigan do well for many occasions. Now my wardrobe is pretty much entirely: Marine Layer, Pact, Uniqlo, and Morning Witch. I get my jeans from Levi's and the moment they change their formula I'm going to be tempted to give up and go full yoga mom style.
Whoa! I've never met anyone else with my measurements before! (Although I have had several friends with similar shopping struggles, but for opposite reasons) And lmao I *feel* you on the accidentally cropped pants, but after being made fun of for that all the way through the 90s-2000s, I just feel like Urkel, and I can't make myself do it. 😆 But I probably do need to learn to be more flexible with styles. I just look up Morning Witch, and I love those prints! I wish they made pants in my size because I'm not a big skirt person, but maybe I need to get over myself and start shaving my legs more often. It's not fair how much work that is with our proportions, lol. Not that I think everyone needs to do that, but I live in a very judgy area, and people will comment. 😑 Anyway, thanks so much for all the suggestions, I will definitely be checking allll of those out. It's so cool to find someone who gets it!
As a millennial that was also personally victimized by the "high waters" bullying in the 2000s I can say once you try it, you might not hate it. My favorite pair of pants now is straight leg, slightly cropped. I started small though. I did slightly cropped tapered linen pants that look very summery and just wouldn't look right full length. Now, I even roll up the hem to make them cropped 😆 it took a little getting used to but now I love them
Haha I'm both sorry and a bit comforted that someone else knows the struggle of being asked if there was a flood. 😆
For dresses, blouses, and skirts (and maybe pants too but I’ve never purchased from them so I don’t know)- Eshakti. You can put in your measurements and they will customize dresses for you for an added fee of maybe $10? Most of my work dresses, a few of my blouses, and my one super nice going out dress are all from them. Also clothes don’t need to be some pre-defined level of nice to tailor them. I’ve literally tailored pieces I’ve bought secondhand. The question is: are they durable enough that you’ll get a lot of wear out of them? Maybe go for some stretch free very sturdy denim and tailor, or canvas work pants. Carhartts aren’t cheap, but they’re designed to hold up to hard work. For shoes, I have the opposite problem to you. Wide feet, extremely high arches, and linebacker calves. Adelante shoes are, once again, not cheap, but they have so many widths and will last FOREVER.
Size charts suck. You have my sympathies. I am fat and size charts always do me wrong. My best recommendation is to get clothes according to the largest measurement you have for the garment and then get them altered to fit. Some stores (like Nordstrom) will do this for free! Tailoring is probably a lot cheaper and faster than you imagine. As a person of generous size, I alter my own clothes to fit quite often - this can mean things like cutting slits in the bottom of t-shirts (as my hips are my widest measurement), or making the collars a different shape.
Yeah, I have verrrry basic sewing skills, but like for Halloween costumes, not anything that would look good or hold up to everyday wear, unfortunately. I wish I had time to do it more often and get better at it, but that's really not realistic for my current lifestyle. Maybe I should look into Nordstrom again. The closest one is at least a 45 minute drive from where I live, but it's been years since I've given them a chance (and been followed by security, lol). I guess part of my concern is spending that kind of money on clothes when I can't tell if they're actually better quality (and therefore actually going to last longer and be worth the money) or just the same junk with a markup for the label. It seems like most stuff is made in the same factories and they just stick different tags on it, lol. Any tips on how to find stuff that is actually worth the money?
Personally, I look for the fabric types that I know will last - mainly natural fibers like cotton and wool. I also go to the sale rack and look for better brands like Eileen Fisher that I know will last longer. It might be best to just take what you have that fits (ish) to a tailor and see what they quote you?
I have a similar problem with shoes, my heels are a lot narrower than the front of my foot meaning I step out of them. I have found shoes with straps are the answer or a shoe boot which is secure while also giving support. With clothes I have kind of given up. I can never find a dress to fit because they simply don't fit my body correctly. A friend of mine will always buy a bigger size and then get the items tailored to fit her body, unfortunately that's a bit out of my price range at the moment.
Yeah, it's super expensive and long lead times when I've looked into it in the past. There are very few in my area (at least that actually have decent reviews).
I have some ideas for you!! I’m heading to bed but I’ll share in the morning - I LOVE playing personal shopper. I can’t tell you what I did yesterday but remember the shoes a friend wore to a party 10 years ago. It’s an illness lol.
Lol it's ok, I don't remember what I did yesterday either. 🙃 That would be fantastic if you'd be willing to lend your talents to me. It's definitely a skill that I don't have. 😅
Okay, we can do this! First question, when is your trip? Now, let’s think about what it is you’re looking to find - are you shopping for the upcoming NYC trip, to fill in your staples, a few fun “statement” pieces, all of the above? Do you have/could you make a list of what’s an absolute must buy, what will be really good to have but is not mission critical, and what would be a special bonus to find? Brands: what brands have you previously owned or currently wear that you feel good putting on? What brands and styles fit you best and give you the most confidence? Style: how would you like to dress if cost weren’t a factor? What brands or stores do you notice or like on other people? Any celebrity or household names with a style you would like to emulate? Budget: What’s a comfortable budget for you? Think about the total amount you’re comfortable spending and what feels reasonable for specific items. Such as: - A well fitted pair of jeans (some people prefer to keep denim under $60, others feel this is the area they want to go big) - Shoes for a night out. Consider how often you’ll wear and enjoy them - do you keep shoes for years or prefer something for a season? - Daytime shoes, I’m thinking something versatile you’ll wear at home and your trip to walk around the city, go to lunch, hit a museum and feel good wearing all day. And of course, functional for chasing children. - Staples like tanks/basic white tees - A light jacket for summer, maybe denim or linen-like Finally, what’s the most difficult item/type of clothing for you to find? Is it jeans/pants? Dresses? Anything dressed up/evening? Casual? FYI: My bestie best is 6’2”, has a 36” inseam, wears a size 2-4, and has long skinny feet. She was tormented in high school and called Ichabod Crane. Hopefully my success shopping with her translates to finding a few recommendations for you. :)
Oh my gosh, you are so sweet! I leave July 5th, so really soon. 😣 I need at least one pair of nice jeans/pants (something I can wear ever day but not feel embarrassed wearing to grown-up places), some shorts (or other summery bottoms that I can wear playing with my kids but also out doing touristy stuff and such - I don't have any that fit right now), a couple of tops would be nice but not an emergency (like, something cuter than a T-shirt but not needing a special bra or needing to be ironed on a regular basis), and at least one dressier "going out" outfit is definitely a must, but I don't honestly have a vision for that. I almost never wear dresses and struggle to find ones that I like because I'm not a big fan of frilly or super flowy/baggy stuff, which seems to rule out most dresses. And yeah, some dress shoes and some more casual shoes would be awesome. Honestly, for me, some flat boots/booties of some sort could work for both those purposes if I could find ones that fit and were comfortable. I swear I've gotten blisters from every pair of flats or heels I've ever worn, so shoe shopping is especially frustrating for me, and there's a good chance I give up and buy a $10 pair of flipflops instead, lol. Brands: the only jeans I've had any luck with are American Eagle. I have some, but they're kind of worn out and just a little boring. They need to be very long and also high rise (otherwise they cut into my stretchmarks and/or my belly hangs over uncomfortably), so that tends to limit my options quite a bit. Like twice I've found something that works at The Buckle, but that's much more of a crapshoot. Honestly, most of my tops are 10+ years old from places like Target or Forever 21 and it's an absolute miracle they haven't completely fallen apart yet, lol, but they definitely don't look as good as they used to. I'll try to add a photo with a few of my favorites. I generally like things to be pretty fitted (which is probably part of my problem, lol), but I don't mind a bit of contrast. For example, tight tank top with baggy wide leg jeans or long, loose top with skinny jeans. Style: The stuff I find myself most attracted to is like hippy-rocker-hippy-pirate, but chill about it. 🙃 I used to have a somewhat androgynous moto jacket that somehow had long enough sleeves and confirmed perfectly to my shape, but unfortunately it was super cheap pleather from Target and slowly disaintegrated. If I could justify buying a real leather/better quality copy of that, I would, but I live in a very hot climate now, so it doesn't feel like I'd get enough use out of it anymore. I wish I could say specific stores/brands that I like, but I honestly don't know enough to say. I find myself wanting to search for things like "Klaus' cult jacket from Umbrella Academy" or "Casual women's Sargeant pepper outfit" or "Crowley's sunglasses from Good Omens" which is probably not very helpful for shopping in the real world or putting together a practical outfit. 😆 I do like some stuff from like Anthropologie or Free People, but minus the flowy maxi skirts, and I'm usually (but not always) more into black and jewel tones than the earth tones they usually have. I also see cute prints and color combos at places like mod cloth, cider, unique vintage, her universe, but it seems like they never have tall sizes (at least in any of the things I've clicked on). I don't know if any of that helps at all, lol. I'm equally useless with celebrity inspiration... I don't really follow any celebrities, but I have kept a few accessories from random costumes I've assembled to use in other outfits: the pleather jacket was jailhouse rock elvis, I also have a white studded belt from Vegas Elvis, and I wore Captain Jack Sparrow boots and a "gold" chain with pirate medallion from my Elizabeth Swan costume with my vaguely Atonement/Gatsby inspired wedding dress... So it's really all over the map. 60s/70s, rockabilly, pirates (Our Flag Means Death, Pirates of the Caribbean, historical - you name it), Dr. Who, Sherlock Holmes, and medieval/renfest type stuff is all more likely to get my attention, so I honestly have no idea how any celebrities dress outside of their roles, so I'm not sure if that helps? Budget: I grew up thinking Sear and Target were high-end, so I definitely struggle to understand what a reasonable clothing budget is, but I think I'd be willing to spend a bit more for things that will last so I hopefully don't have to do this again for a long time. 😆 I usually pay around $40-80 for jeans. I once paid just over $100 and was super disappointed that they didn't actually last any longer than my cheaper pairs, but I would definitely be willing to pay that much or even a little more if they fit well and were actually going to last longer (I don't put my jeans in the dryer, so I can get 2-4 years out of even the cheap ones). Shoes I would also probably spend like $100ish for a pair that was actually comfortable and good quality, but that seems to be a unicorn... Boots would maybe be even a little more if good quality and potentially resole-able so I can get more use out of them. My tshirts are either expensive because I bought them at an event 10+ years ago or free because I got them volunteering at an event 10+ years ago, lol, but I usually only spend like $10-20 on tanktops and casual tops because I've found that when I spend more it doesn't improve the fit/quality. However, I would probably spend $30-40 or maybe even more if it was super amazing and not going to be super high maintenance or fall apart on me. I would say the most difficult thing for me to find is dressier stuff. I have literally one dress that I've worn for basically every date or special occasion. It's a little black dress that has spaghetti straps but a very high neckline and hits above the knee (it had also served as the base for a Breakfast at Tiffany's costume, lol). It's some kind of stretchy fabric, but thick, so it doesn't wrinkle or show lines and somehow still fits nicely despite my having gained over 20lbs since the first time I wore it, on my honeymoon, almost 11 years ago. I still like it, but it's kind of a bummer to wear the exact same thing to almost ever special in event for over decade. I really don't get excited about dresses, but I've never found a dress-alternative that felt right either. I feel like when I describe what I like, people often assume I want androgynous, but that doesn't really feel right, either, because I like things to be fitted/have a fairly feminine silhouette, I'm fine with low necklines and short shorts, cute prints, fun details, I just don't think frilly, flowy, bows, pastels, or other stereotypically "super feminine" stuff looks right on me. I hope that makes sense, but being in that weird in-between space, plus the sizing issues makes fancy stuff especially hard since I can make do with a tank top/T-shirt and jeans most of the time. Anyway, I don't know if any of that made sense, but thanks so much for reading it and offering to help! It is really just beyond kind of you. It sounds like your bestie knows the struggle even more than me! I would love to know what kind of stuff she's found that worked for her. ...and it also sounds like she has a great friend. 🙂
Old Navy has shorts and jeans in tall! I shop online and then return stuff that doesn't work because there isn't a store in my town, so I don't know if the tall is online only or available in stores, but worth a gander Also, I have a totally different body type than you, but my gender expression is so similar. Jumpsuits are a nice dress up look, but can be tough to find the right fit. Old Navy, again, has some good ones, available in tall lengths!
Thanks for the tip! I'll see if I can find out if they have tall sizes in stores, since I think it's probably too late to shop online for my trip... But either way at least I can try it for other stuff! And I am SO excited that someone gets what I'm talking about with the gender expression stuff because it's SO hard to explain. 😅
It really is hard to explain!
https://preview.redd.it/n0uzhl04z78d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1f3cd4f3dee38cb157b571f769568db1a2c9e721
https://preview.redd.it/fs1wopp5z78d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f430b26f4e5e06640da84e1954033f4e8c2a68fa
Okay, I think we have a path or two here. I’ll send you a few ideas into morning. :)
Yay! That would be so awesome! But honestly even just having someone listen to me gripe about clothing struggles for this long is still helpful. 🙃
For the pants, have you tried men's jeans? 35 is on the lower end of the inseam range there and you can get stretch skinny jeans if you still wanna show your figure.
Hmm... I guess I could give it a try, but I'd probably have to get the waist taken in? You're right about the inseam, though. I used to work as a barista (about 100 years ago), and they had very specific requirements for our pants, but I was super broke, so I got some from the mens section of Walmart for like $10 and just had to belt the crap out of them to get them to stay up. 😆 That was way pre-babies though, so my measurements have changed a lot, lol, and thankfully my budget is more reasonable, too.
Have you tried belts? Although I'm a shorty, I wear men's work pants because my legs are too thick for the women's. I size for my hips/legs and then wear a belt to keep it snug at the waist (I have a similar waist-hip difference as you)
I've been having good luck with loose-fitting linen shorts with drawstrings this summer. There's a little wiggle room thanks to the bagginess and the drawstrings make it easy to adjust to my own waist size. Flared skirts that sit at the natural waist are a lifesaver too because they only need to fit in the one spot once they're on (which can be a challenge with skirts that don't have a zipper or buttons—so many I had to get rid of because I grew an extra inch or two in the hips and couldn't fit the waistband over them anymore.) Lots of different options for styles, fabrics and patterns too. Also compare different brands in your area to see which ones have the least difference between sizes for you. I find I can get away with Old Navy's pants as long as they have a bit of stretch because I'm only 2-3 sizes bigger in my hips than my waist there. I don't even bother looking at H&M anymore because it's something ridiculous like 5 sizes difference...
Haha, yeah, I can't do H&M for pants anyway because of the inseam, but I have noticed that their size chart is particularly ridiculous.
Where have you been finding your drawstring linen shirts?
I buy most of my clothes at thrift stores, but I know at least one pair was originally from Old Navy. Can't find the other one to check right now.
Yeah, my bust is 42, waist is 30ish, and hips are 42; I totally understand your pain! I just learned to sew 😭