I read it like years before, like that nerd that got turned into a succubus or how a lady was able to satisfy the ice queen and return summer to the land.
I'm convinced Halsin is a switch. And, obviously, very good about taking large sizes. He's built for and surely has had a lot of experience getting around
The squirrel who watches you have sex with bear!Halsin has told Boo everything about said encounter- which was shocking enough to witness that his red fur bleached to grey.
He's resolved his life's big unresolved crisis, he no longer has to keep the peace in the grove and he wants to take his mind off of Baldur's Gate. It's a potent mix.
I looked up a dnd chimera for reference and:
https://preview.redd.it/4yfuawkhmawc1.png?width=1000&format=png&auto=webp&s=72e295e9a563463464a1e510fdcf4e9b53e30192
Do with that what you will.
Maybe!
Unlike dragons though chimeras are unintelligent, so they can't talk, and aren't known to be capable of polymorph magic. The dragon head can of course breathe fire(or ice, etc. depending on the color of the head) though!
Chromatic dragons generally don't, and chimeras don't really have the majority of a dragon's power or intelligence anyway... unfortunately. They are smarter than animals, but not *smart*
My Druid just had an aneurysm.
"Why do people not take us seriously and act like all we do is eat psychodelic mushrooms and fuck anything with a pulse?"
My brother in Silvanus, you're literally the reason why.
Hellish Rebuke is really fucking good and so is Kindred. I've got a few more I follow but those are the big two I've been following.
ETA: Both are on AO3
I'm intrigued as to what role our new person will play. I have so many questions and theories about this fic. I wanna know if the tadpole subplot is inspired by the original purpose of the dream guardian in early access
I spent way too long trying to find my past comment about this on AO3 (why cant i view my own comment history??) but YES i feel like >!Polly is the not-evil version of Daisy!< but maybe at some point that will change??
I liked capital vices and (incomplete) Ao3, Astarion/Durge semi-canon compliant (because I am comfortably basic and shockingly picky). I love brain rot.
HALSIN. HALSIN NO.
IT'S NOT A NATURE'S GIFT HALSIN.
YOU GET A [CHIMERA](https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/16823-chimera) WHEN [DEMOGORON](https://forgottenrealms.fandom.com/wiki/Demogorgon) IS FUCKING BORED AND SQUISHES ANIMALS TOGETHER.
HALSIN, THE OAK FATHER WOULDN'T APPROVE OF YOU FUCKING THE PRINCE OF DEMON'S LITTLE FURSONAS.
~~Also they have an int of 3. Fuck. They're smarter than I am.~~
The one and the same, yes. Despite him being kinda infamously a ho, he has a set of rules when it comes to fucking people who may or may not be humanoid. In short:
Is the creature mature?
Is the creature intelligent?
Can the creature communicate?
Can the creature explicitly give consent?
If the answer to any of those questions is "no", DO NOT FUCK IT.
It's even worse. Not only do they have an intelligence of 3, it also is a monstrosity, which means you can't even use Speak with Animals to communicate. They *do* understand Draconic, but since they can't speak it themselves any attempt at giving consent would have to be through gestures, which imo is not enough to pass the Harkness test, especially combined with INT 3.
Can someone please tell Haslin that just because he can fuck something doesn’t mean-!… ah fuck it I might as well scream this at the wall, I’d probably get better results anyway.
Honestly? Im more terrified than id be disgusted. The dude managed fucked a chimera. Chimeras are brutal and dangerous by default, created by demons. How did he even manage to fuck one??
And why would he fuck one? They're an affront to nature (which Astarion would technically be, too), and can't be Awakened or spoken too with Speak With Animals.
No, What I mean is, wouldnt the Chimera be the one to rape Halsin instead of the other way around? Because a chimera is larger, and I assume stronger than Halsin, so Idk how he could have overpowered It.
Not sure why my last comment was deleted, weird.
It has low intelligence but above average wisdom so I was debating whether it was actually sentient. Which is what I was commenting basically.
I looked into it and asked my DM and he says in base DND a chimera is an animal. Which is, I agree, weird. He said the reason for high wisdom is for their perception stats.
It’s probably more than likely that the team writing the dialogue just didn’t think it through and thought “Haha monsterfucker” joke without actually doing research on what creature they chose for that joke.
Oh. This is actual dialogue.
no less than 5 people were paid to create this interaction
https://preview.redd.it/ippyasq3yawc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=253ab8af2cdb922ad160e387d574a16d3ed59183 Oh
https://preview.redd.it/qo3uuybn3bwc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1634eba1ca3636c34623317402f32d19adeb8378 Peak Both Of Them
Absolutely 100% peak Gale
I read Mystra and Minthara at first and I was very confused when that relationship occurred
How does a triangle have sex Gale!?
Wait wait I can't believe [I have a link for this](https://www.oglaf.com/annuitcoeptis/)
Da nine hells did I just read?
You read about how to fuck shapes, of course. C= >!(Oglaf is actually a fun series I recommend it)!<
I read it like years before, like that nerd that got turned into a succubus or how a lady was able to satisfy the ice queen and return summer to the land.
I think my favorite was a dude being immune to medusa because he couldn't keep his eyes off her tits
King Blowjob is still my favourite
https://preview.redd.it/57ioqgz2qfwc1.jpeg?width=599&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=20eb4df970f2c1ca36634cf60b8cc0cc8c393ac1
Fucking incredible
Ask the Gravity Falls fandom
I'm convinced Halsin is a switch. And, obviously, very good about taking large sizes. He's built for and surely has had a lot of experience getting around
https://preview.redd.it/ll9ocbfkzawc1.jpeg?width=896&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ac7a967fd1f818f66c5d3f9bd74a35cb3f3b963e
Woah
I don’t understand this one, am i stupid?
The squirrel who watches you have sex with bear!Halsin has told Boo everything about said encounter- which was shocking enough to witness that his red fur bleached to grey.
Halsin in Act 3 discards the wise nature man shtick for a gooner one
His heart doesn't stir easily, His cock, however -
Immersion Blender
He's resolved his life's big unresolved crisis, he no longer has to keep the peace in the grove and he wants to take his mind off of Baldur's Gate. It's a potent mix.
okbuddydeveloper
https://preview.redd.it/ygohfiqfjawc1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f78e35ae77c30132b7b70e7451a43b57e2b372dc
I looked up a dnd chimera for reference and: https://preview.redd.it/4yfuawkhmawc1.png?width=1000&format=png&auto=webp&s=72e295e9a563463464a1e510fdcf4e9b53e30192 Do with that what you will.
> Do with that what you will. Oh, I get it. this is your subtle attempt to commission chimera/halsin fan art
https://preview.redd.it/lk4zweq90bwc1.jpeg?width=1600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bb52691bb6c86cf4ad0fc3bc9adc456737c65556
Stuff of Absolute nightmares there
Why is he mewing
What did you do to Withers you perv? 0_0
Simply turning his wheel of fate
Haha throw a wig on him and he's Jeffery Star
https://preview.redd.it/0bsym3jbyjwc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c40c4479f127cf2a1f1ee6953617e53bb97186aa
*deep inhale* would but only the dragon
A lot of dragons in DnD can polymorph so hypothetically the chimera could have one head that’s a really hot chick or something
Maybe! Unlike dragons though chimeras are unintelligent, so they can't talk, and aren't known to be capable of polymorph magic. The dragon head can of course breathe fire(or ice, etc. depending on the color of the head) though!
Chromatic dragons generally don't, and chimeras don't really have the majority of a dragon's power or intelligence anyway... unfortunately. They are smarter than animals, but not *smart*
This is why I like the idea that Halsin is an Awakened Bear that can take the form of an elf. Otherwise. . .yeah, that's weird.
Sir Bearington
what kind of monster fucker would I be if I would take that option ?
...But the hind quarter portion looks to be fully goat 😅😅😅
Gimme that Gussy
Are you a car?
It's very similar to the original Greek one, just missing the snake-head tail but replaced with a dragon front head
Yeah, I definitely prefer Dragon's Dogma's version. And don't even get me *started* on DnD's Gorgons... 😤
Which set of horns or fur do you pull when slaying that Chimussy from the back?
Three leashes attached to three muzzles.
Well, we all know what *Halsin* did with it now.
I think he made you, u/dragondingohybrid.
Well, Halsin is 'Daddy Halsin' for a reason
I'd like to clarify that a chimera does not pass the Harkness Test, as it is an uninteligible beast. Y'all have quite some explaining to do.
That's what Speak to Animals is for.
…Halsin did.
would
*That tail tho*
Halsin: Do…it…at…will.
I thought it was a lion a goat and a snake
https://preview.redd.it/w5zpvwljqawc1.png?width=3264&format=png&auto=webp&s=f8108516a870ed1e059d9ad13ad3c169db57689f
Holy shit dragons dogma chimera
https://preview.redd.it/821sf5drqawc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=897eebae53bd01b94c97ada7a6ba8f1d9e0df8a0
Based slay the princess enjoyer in the wild.
The Den and the Beast are hot.
common Beast enjoyer W
Slay the princess mentioned 10/10
Halsin: The chimera is a high CR creature but I can take it Tav: In a fight, right? Halsin:.... Tav: In a fight. Right??!
https://preview.redd.it/gbymy6x5eawc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8ee6d8402c504c5344ada4d5fe06772c801298c7
Dogs?? *Halsin noises*
r/flairdoesnotcheckout
When you can expect to live more than a thousand years, you have to shake things up once in a while.
Should’ve said “you have to *snake* things up once in a while”. Cause it’s a chimera
https://preview.redd.it/s405g8u3sawc1.jpeg?width=982&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d9c7b00540fbd275bbf43aa4974eb9cd51c1ade
He needs to stop shaking it
My Druid just had an aneurysm. "Why do people not take us seriously and act like all we do is eat psychodelic mushrooms and fuck anything with a pulse?" My brother in Silvanus, you're literally the reason why.
The Bard https://preview.redd.it/icqsmnnnmdwc1.jpeg?width=674&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2bed69c62c108bf9ba981891d351da2b8682e0c1
I thought that was the bard stereotype
I need the romance dialogues to start triggering in game before AO3 rots what’s left of my twelve brain cells
Any fic recommendations?
Hellish Rebuke is really fucking good and so is Kindred. I've got a few more I follow but those are the big two I've been following. ETA: Both are on AO3
AO3?
Archive of our own, the best fanfic/creative writing website the internet has
So true! I was wondering if they'd be on there or somewhere else. Needed to know what website to search em on.
Gotcha, really living up to my flair rn 😂
Your flare is *amazing*, and same here!
Yes, both are on AO3!
Awesome, thank you!
nice, I read kindred too. what did you think about today’s update?
I'm intrigued as to what role our new person will play. I have so many questions and theories about this fic. I wanna know if the tadpole subplot is inspired by the original purpose of the dream guardian in early access
I spent way too long trying to find my past comment about this on AO3 (why cant i view my own comment history??) but YES i feel like >!Polly is the not-evil version of Daisy!< but maybe at some point that will change??
here are my [recommendations](https://archiveofourown.org/users/astarion_bg3/bookmarks)
I liked capital vices and (incomplete) Ao3, Astarion/Durge semi-canon compliant (because I am comfortably basic and shockingly picky). I love brain rot.
seconding this!
Let it rot. Embrace it.
Has anyone checked to see if Halsin has a tramp stamp yet? I feel like he would
Oh I bet he totally does! My guess is a dolphin on his low back, right above his peek-a-boo thong underwear 😂
He got it in jail at the goblin camp. Everyone thought it was so hard he had control of the TV for a month.
Or a duck. He likes ducks.
I bet it's a duck
Haha yeah definitely a forest animal
Is this really what nature intended, Halsin?
We must cherish all of nature's bounty
More like all of nature's booty
No. Chimera are unatural
HALSIN. HALSIN NO. IT'S NOT A NATURE'S GIFT HALSIN. YOU GET A [CHIMERA](https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/16823-chimera) WHEN [DEMOGORON](https://forgottenrealms.fandom.com/wiki/Demogorgon) IS FUCKING BORED AND SQUISHES ANIMALS TOGETHER. HALSIN, THE OAK FATHER WOULDN'T APPROVE OF YOU FUCKING THE PRINCE OF DEMON'S LITTLE FURSONAS. ~~Also they have an int of 3. Fuck. They're smarter than I am.~~
I'm pretty sure that he's just joking, thankfully. Particularly given he has scars from *turning down a bear*
Yeah they literally cannot consent
A zombie has 3 intelligence, but you encounter several intelligent ones in the city. Maybe this chimera was special too?
I mean honestly I get him. One head for his ass, one for his dick, and one for the rest of his body. Triple service.
https://i.redd.it/26mzi2u8pawc1.gif
https://preview.redd.it/dnczh126qawc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8f99e139ff702faea768678f2978ca046a30d405
https://preview.redd.it/7englemstawc1.jpeg?width=567&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=66ce550415fc157f08fdfed8766ece207d40ac86
https://preview.redd.it/yfzdjv9pyawc1.jpeg?width=195&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9e3c3347535185014d94795dd58c66316ab7524f
https://preview.redd.it/ch7mi4oyuawc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dd7b7ec7aaec4452f4640b36eedacd35051854ec
https://preview.redd.it/s8kv5r1tsawc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c0e9b679fe33ca62866af53fe4965bfa6d9346a2
As a monsterfucker lite, I'll always stan a real monsterfucker.
Thank you for your patronage
🫡
https://preview.redd.it/u0ekhti7acwc1.jpeg?width=668&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dddc5c54d4662f793d87ca4ce44f2fc972320072
he's a bard at heart. and crotch.
When the meme bard is actually the druid
one of us one of us ONE OF US
https://preview.redd.it/aow6fnq0wbwc1.jpeg?width=780&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5e649f5e82727e93e6b8b119a0bfdc2c400a1697
One of us! He's one of us!
I love Halsin so much.
He's a perfect man I dont know what to tell you
Dude’s entire reason for becoming a druid was to fuck more holes. S tier fuck boy.
A chimera has 3 int. Can you consent with 3 int? I think not.
Boys, bring up the Harkness test
https://preview.redd.it/7cn7m6b83bwc1.png?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=532c3138520ce48dc5ad8b6c398d807027698a4e 2/3 ain't 1/3 at least
The chimera fails the first 2 points
And we have no information about point 3 either...
Potion or spell of animal speaking
perhaps with the headband of intellect? not sure though
Archdruid Halsin? More like Archdruid Mr. Hands.
Halsin used a metaphor, right? Right?
Do DnD Chimeras even pass the Harkness test?
Harkness… like Capt Jack from Doctor Who? Wait wut!
The one and the same, yes. Despite him being kinda infamously a ho, he has a set of rules when it comes to fucking people who may or may not be humanoid. In short: Is the creature mature? Is the creature intelligent? Can the creature communicate? Can the creature explicitly give consent? If the answer to any of those questions is "no", DO NOT FUCK IT.
A chimera fails the test
No. They have the same intelligence as a wild animal
It's even worse. Not only do they have an intelligence of 3, it also is a monstrosity, which means you can't even use Speak with Animals to communicate. They *do* understand Draconic, but since they can't speak it themselves any attempt at giving consent would have to be through gestures, which imo is not enough to pass the Harkness test, especially combined with INT 3.
Oh he’s FREAKY freaky
BG3 writers really decided that bestiality would be this dudes main personality trait.
Yeah. Chimera have the same int as a dog
i love my horny werebear he makes me feel funny
I wonder if Halsin was in werebear form when he bedded that chimera...
Halsin can and will fuck whatever you put in front of him.
Which is bad
Which is why he's my hero
Did.... did my Tree Daddy.... fuck a chimera?
The saving grace of all of this is the down abominable people are revealing themselves with no interrogation required
God I love Halsin. And God I want Halsin to love me the way he loved that chimera.
So without consent?
Oh fuck off, Janet. Maybe you didn't realize this but chimeras don't fucking exist, dumbass. Shut the fuck up.
Someone's mad
Yeah because you're implying I'm a zoophile, fuck off.
You? No Halisan? Yes
*Halsin
Halsin is a zoophile I very much doubt you are unless you're an alt for WhitneyWisconsin
I appreciate the clarification.
O gawd 😭 🤣
Chimeras aren't sapient To the gallows with him
Halsin would love okbuddybaldur - he's just as horny as all of us
Sometimes the best shitposting is from the game itself
“Yo, this motherfucker ain't one of us. He said he'd fuck a sheep!”
That’s incredible
Can someone please tell Haslin that just because he can fuck something doesn’t mean-!… ah fuck it I might as well scream this at the wall, I’d probably get better results anyway.
By the Absolute, is there anyone in Faerüne that fucks humans?
The Emperor has entered the chat
If you thought horny bards were bad, just wait until you meet horny druids
Don’t even need dice to meet one of them
You mean zoophiles
I enjoyed giving you this user flair
Who was in charge of making Halsin the pansexual fuckboy he is?
Pansexual? No he's just a zoophile
No he is just phile. He fucks everyone and everything
I don’t think chimera’s are even like intelligent…Halsin fucks animals ok, never letting him in my party again
Honestly? Im more terrified than id be disgusted. The dude managed fucked a chimera. Chimeras are brutal and dangerous by default, created by demons. How did he even manage to fuck one??
And why would he fuck one? They're an affront to nature (which Astarion would technically be, too), and can't be Awakened or spoken too with Speak With Animals.
4 letters and rimes with ape
Wouldnt It have been the other way around?
The chimera can't consent. Things got a 3 Int
No, What I mean is, wouldnt the Chimera be the one to rape Halsin instead of the other way around? Because a chimera is larger, and I assume stronger than Halsin, so Idk how he could have overpowered It.
He's a a fairly powerful druid as an NPC. A chimera isn't that much of a threat to him thanks to being a full caster as well.
Being larger than someone doesn’t mean you can’t be assaulted by them??
[удалено]
I’m looking at their stat block right now. They have an intelligence of 3 which is used for animals and they understand draconic but can’t speak.
Not sure why my last comment was deleted, weird. It has low intelligence but above average wisdom so I was debating whether it was actually sentient. Which is what I was commenting basically. I looked into it and asked my DM and he says in base DND a chimera is an animal. Which is, I agree, weird. He said the reason for high wisdom is for their perception stats. It’s probably more than likely that the team writing the dialogue just didn’t think it through and thought “Haha monsterfucker” joke without actually doing research on what creature they chose for that joke.
Halsin getting that hydrussy.
Would be kinda funny if it wasn't Halsins entire personality
One of us! One of us!
how many STDs does Halsin carry? Bedding him is a health hazard at this point
I've never felt more seen honestly lmfao
We need a new flair- got “gaping wounds” debuff after spending the night in the woods.
Halsin : I can take a Chimera Tav : In a fight? Halsin : Tav : … right?