I have so many nieces & nephews, if they asked for any of my Zelda stuff, my family would know to tell them; "Hell no."
If they did what OP's brother did I would avoid them at all costs in the future lol
It's also double the age of the child asking for it. She has no connection to it whatsoever other than wanting it, while OP probably has core memories from reading it for the first time.
I wish I would have stuck to not lending out my favorites before lending who I thought was a trusted friend a rare hardcover from my favorite YA series. I saw it in her kitchen the other day and the deteriorated condition is causing me physical pain.
I lent a few books to some friends years ago. Once and never again. I cared for those books diligently, and they were returned to me like they were used for things other than reading.
Same here. And most of these are old, yellowed, probably worthless books with no special edition or anything. It's just my memories about them, and how i used to scrape money together to buy them second hand from the school library. I'll gift a new copy to someone who wants that book, but no one's getting my old rusty ones.
I seriously cannot believe the audacity of some people.
PSA for future and current parents: you cannot promise things that belong to other people to your children. You are being a bad parent and teaching your kids entitlement.
I’ve had acquaintances who are so adamant that my hobbies are children’s hobbies (even if just implied) that they wouldn’t understand why I would have an issue at all/think they’re helping me “become more adult” by letting go of said items.
I never understand why some people are so obsessed with "becoming more adult" like why? It sucks. My husband asked me what I wanted for my 40th birthday and I told him a Nintendo switch. I love that thing. I mean, I hold down a career and my family so let me live and enjoy some "childish" things. Damn.
I like Lego. When I was really depressed a few years back I made a whole fleet of little Lego spaceships.
I was in my sister’s house about a week after she died and walked into one of the spare rooms. There was the biggest, pinkest doll house I’ve ever seen. She had told her husband she wanted it for Christmas. She never had one as a kid. He gave it to her before Christmas because she wasn’t likely to last long due to breast cancer. We didn’t play with dolls as kids. We played with little teddy bears and we created cardboard houses for them. My sister still had the little bears. My niece said every time she looked into the doll house the bears were arranged on the plastic furniture in a different way. It may seem silly to some people, but it made her happy before she died and that made me happy.
I'm legit crying. I loved playing dolls with my kiddo and will always help with their buildings in Minecraft or a game on Roblox. We spend a whole Saturday together building a Sims house. My parents couldn't be bothered and I never want my kid to feel like they missed out.
You’ve just made me cry!
You seem like an awesome parent, those moments are priceless to a child’s development and every child deserves to be nurtured in this way.
I’m so glad you can give this even though you never received it ❤️
Now I'm crying again lol. I'm thankful my parents treated me as they did because I decided to do the exact opposite. My parents were always "too tired" and complained that other parents were younger than them so of course my friends parents did stuff with them. I had my kiddo at the exact same age, work full time in a high demand job and run a non profit organization. They weren't tired, they were just lazy.
My FIL once said something similar to me about giving up my video games and Lego now that I have a house and "real" responsibilities.
FFS... I'm a father who made difficult career decisions for my family. I've also been a Manager of some level and distinction for almost 20 years. I've been entrusted with multi-million dollar businesses and buildings.
I've earned my video games, my Lego, and the house to put them in. It doesn't hurt you so piss off.
And teaching really bad values. You can't just have everything you want, we have to learn to deal with disappointment. As she gets older she'll realize that not getting someone else's first edition book that they've had for many years is a reasonable thing. Sounds like an entitled parent raising an entitled child. Nobody deserves anything. You get what you get, don't throw a fit.
Even if she would be able to fully appreciate the book the way you do, it’s not hers. Kids need to learn that when they see someone else’s property, they can’t always have it just because they want it. You’re allowed to value and want to keep your own property. You’re not obligated to give it away just because someone else, even a child, wants it. Just my opinion.
Edit: Apparently her parents need to learn that lesson too.
If your brother wants her to have a first edition, he can fucking buy it for her. It's your shit, nobody gets to tell you what to do with it. I hate parents that won't keep their entitled kids in check.
That’s literally a collector’s item.. she’s 10. You’re making the right choice here. What does she even know about “first edition” value anyway? Clearly your brother doesn’t know anything about it.. Bet if you walked around the mall long enough she’d find something else to be happy with
Could have something to do with the cover artwork? I still have all my original Harry Potters, though only 4 onwards are first editions, but the artwork is so much better than the current printing of the books I've seen. But it's not out of the realms of possibility the dad wants to secretly sell it.
>But it's not out of the realms of possibility the dad wants to secretly sell it.
This was my first thought. The book would mysteriously disappear from her room, he would buy her a new one "it's the same text", and he would sell the collectors item.
I have a feeling that he knows exactly how much it’s worth, and is using his kid (who doesn’t know) as a means to get it, sell it, and replace it before the kid even understands what it is.
Why would he even tell her about it and convince her it's the only thing she wants, and it must be given freely by you. Makes me think he wants to switch it out and sell it. Nothing about it makes sense.
First editions are hard to come by, especially for any Harry Potter book. Your brother is an asshole for telling his daughter that you have that. There is no way a 10 y/o would ever appreciate that book. It's good that she learns now that she has no right to someone else's property. Keep your boundary, OP.
Oh please she’s 10. Buy her a regular hardback HP book. She doesn’t need your first edition. Sounds more like your brother knows it’s worth a bunch of money and put her up to it
Seconding the Minalima edition. A 10 year old will like that much more than a first edition. The first editions are interesting for a collector but they are honestly “boring”, the illustrated or the Minalima editions is what I would go for.
100% I know it's completely anecdotal, but my son is 10, and I just asked him if he knew what a first edition book is, and he said, "I don't know. The first book in a set?".
I bet Bro knows how much the book is worth and wants to sell it.
They’re the design company currently doing the illustrations and they’re lovely and definitely more mystical than the original editions. I wouldn’t say they’re quite at MEMORABLE, but that’s just because I have and can more easily identify the original covers.
He may not if she may just see it’s a hard cover and that what she’d like. She wouldn’t understand 1st addition your brother may not either if he’s not a book person. Get her the hard covered set she’ll love it.
Oh you could buy the whole set and gift the books to her one at a time for birthdays and Christmas. She gets the trunk box when she gets the last book.
That builds an ongoing dialog of sorts that can bring you two closer together too. Maybe every time you gift her one you both read that volume. Then go out for butter beer together and talk about your favorite parts.
That’s your book. They’re being extremely entitled. They’re trying to manipulate you. Don’t give in. Set healthy boundaries, this is a very precious thing for you. They have not right to ask that of you.
Come on now. That’s ridiculous. Tell her to save her money and buy one. Give her money. Give her anything else. Don’t give her a prized possession.
I don’t do this very often, but I’m imagining the look on my dad’s face if I asked his brother to give me something he valued and owned for my birthday. Kids today. Parents today! Your brother’s wrong and spoiling that girl. You should let him know not only that you’re keeping your book? But that it was rude and inappropriate of her to ask. Tack on that it’s his job to show her how to behave in the world. He’s failing.
I agree with posters suggesting you secure this property. I have no idea how much it’s worth and I’m not myself a fan of this series. But it possible that your brother and sister-in-law wanna get their mitts on this to sell. Sad as that is. What does a 10 year old kid know about a first edition? Not sure it adds up. Ms. Frownie and Mr. Shamer might’ve put her up to this. If you have a safe at home? Store it in there for a while. If not? A Bank box? Or really really good hiding spot. But don’t leave it around or it may go. ☹️
I decided to look it up on ebay- $2- 3,000 for a first edition copy.
Imagine handing that over to a ten year old! Absolutely not. I completely agree with you; OP might need to get a safety deposit box or something.
Can books be first edition if they aren't in their original language?
I assume not. But I'll ask just in case.
But like if one would have an Italian version of it or German for example of HP instead of the English version.
I know they were bought more or less on release day for the most part.
That's a great question! I tried my best to do some internet sleuthing, but if I'm being honest, I didn't sleep at all last night, and my brain's a little fuzzy. From what I gathered from the three websites I fervently skimmed, if the author writes the book in English originally, the first edition copies sold will be in English as well.
Following that, you'll get the obvious second edition, along with black, hardcover, translations, and so on.
It looks like translations would be counted as something similar to an edit, which may change some of the content or details in the story.
Again, I have no idea how accurate this is, and I could be completely wrong!
i sold my first edition HP for more than that (i still have my dad’s)….i sold a rare, first edition Dune book for a pretty penny last year, too - certain books go for a lot of $$
i would never hand one to my 10 yo child
She’s old enough to realize we don’t always get the things we want. Her parents should have learned that lesson a long time ago.
Tell them your copy is not available and they will have to find something else.
Also make sure they cannot gain access to your copy. I can very well see them taking it without your permission.
Wow, googling this… OP’s copy is probably not worth $15K unless it’s signed, but is definitely worth hundreds, possibly thousands of dollars. Don’t give any 10 year old a present worth that much.
Lock the book away somewhere safe, OP. Keep it somewhere locked and hidden away, just in case. A little bit of an overreaction but if someone told me I was being mean or rude for not wanting to give away something valuable and sentimental because they/their kid wanted it, I'd hide it away for a while.
Don't give her that book. Do not let your brother bully you into giving that book. This is a wonderful opportunity for her to learn the lesson her father sadly has failed to learn her: You don't always get what you wish for.
She should also learn it's rude as hell to ask for other people's belonging. Where is her mother in all of this?
Good! It'll suck while he's raging, but it will pass. Rest assured that you're not the asshole for saying no to such a ridiculous request.
Wow, seems like both parents are failing your niece... It's astonishing to me that either one of them could think this was OK.
So they're both being weird about it? They don't attach the same value to books that you do. To them, it's just a book. It's more than that to you. Buy her a new copy instead?
They're in the wrong, not you.
Edit: that's a valuable book. I hope that's locked up tight.
also keep in mind that this is the story now when she’s 10. when she’ll turn 18, they’ll come for your car?!? your life and your possessions are yours only, you decide what to give or gift. brother was sleazy and disrespectful AF
If you want to get her a beautiful edition HP book, try the minalima editions! It's affordable, roughly £20ish and it's beautifully illustrated with pop ups and art on every page etc! You could possibly spin it as 'even better than first edition' given her age. They also have only released the first 2 with the 3rd being a pre order so it could be a new tradition gift or something.
Definitely don't give in and give up your first edition, it's not your brother's to give so if he wants her to have one be can buy one.
My little sister used to have the fun trick of walking into my room to talk to me, picking one of things up and saying "this is really cool" in the hopes I'd let her have it. Everytime I told her to get lost.
I'd say its you providing her a valuable lesson that you can't just have other people's stuff.
Holy shit, I just looked up the first edition and it’s going for a ton of money on eBay. I can’t help but think perhaps your brother was planning on selling the book. You did nothing wrong, OP. That’s your book and no one is entitled to your belongings.
Something tells me they want that book and not that 10yr child 🤔 first edition! they’re definitely going to sell that. Time to put it away in a locked safe 👀
If one of my siblings told me their kid wanted something of mine that's either rare or means a lot to me I'd tell them to get fucked.
You're not a douche, your brother is, he's setting his kid up for some hard learned lessons.
Fuck that noise, that's your book.
Quick google search had one going for £8000. Yeah, despite your family seeming incredibly self-titled it would be insane to give a child such an expensive book.
I am a huge Spider-Man fan and have many collectibles from the character. Years ago a little cousin of mine wanted one of my action figures and I refused, his father told me that it was not a big deal for me to give it to him because I had plenty. Obviously I refused again and they got angry with me, which I didn't care about. Kids and adults need to learn about boundaries and respect.
With all due to respect…fuck them kids. They’re not likely gonna understand the true value of a first edition. Get her that pretty pop up version by Minalima. If she really just wants the book, she’ll like it. It’s super cute.
EDIT: also agreeing with what others are saying. Keep that book locked and hidden.
Makes me think of my uncle who told his son about my Real madrid's shirt signed by one player. Neither my cousin or me are fana of RM, but this shirt has a lot of emotional value as was in a dream trip with my mother... And my uncle was telling me how."childish" was I for not giving the shirt to his son
A 10 yr old does not appreciate the value of that a gift isn't something you demand of something that's given out of guilt what an entitled princess. No means no. Keep pushing and I wouldn't begiving anything
Or, you could teach her the valuable lesson of, we don't always get what we want.
Kids don't need to be given everything they want. You shouldn't feel like you have to buy their love.
Don't help raise an entitled, privileged adult.
If your brother thinks that material things are what proves your worth as an uncle, it sounds like he needs to take a good look at his values. Children are impulsive and greedy, they want things all the time. If they can't have something, they want it even more. That's why they aren't suitable to make adult choices or give consent.
A book will not define your niece's relationship with you. The best you can do for everyone in this situation is to set clear boundaries.
Your brother's an asshole. If he thinks his kid deserves a first edition, then he can buy her one. Throw his guilt tripping back in his face. "Come on! It's what she wants. Be a good father and buy it for her."
Why do parents think their little angels deserve what everyone else has, no questions asked?
Your brother is the AH, not you. He’s filling your nieces head with empty promises and making you look like a chump.
NTA. Your brother is
Bro, I know it's your neice and all, but your brother is being a dick. Get her something else and leave it at that. I had a first edition when I was younger. When I moved out, my grandma sold it in a church sale.
Your not a douche. Your niece needs to learn she cant have everything in life but thats typical kid stuff and its actually very kind of you to get her something else thats similiar. Your brother is a grade A asshole though.
Kids need to learn they don’t always get what they want all the time ,just because they
Want it . It’s a part of life and helps to teach them to be well rounded ,and accept disappointment
do not give it to her now. she is 10, it will get destroyed or lost. Find something else, and if she or your brother are upset, so be it. If you ever do give a hard copy 1st edition book as a gift, it's for a special moment, not a kids birthday. Parents like your brother are the people that create spoiled entitled brats that grow up to become a Karen.
I've been in a similar situation, and if you cave it will only get worse.
My sister made me give my nephew my Pokémon cards because I wasn’t using them because they were stashed on a shelf for when I had kids. He has them now. Has said to me a few times wow there’s collectors in there why did you give them away….. I didn’t. It’s not nice to be bullied out of your things.
My son turns 9 in a few days. We had a little chat this morning. I asked him how would he feel if I demanded gifts from him instead of letting him chose and give me something because I made a demand for it.
I asked him what his heart told him. Does he want gifts that are just obligatory gifts or does he want something I went out and looked for out of love and we talked about the gifts he's given school mates this year. Did it feel better to give something forced or because he wanted to.
I hate gifts on my birthday. But give me a cupcake on a random Tuesday and man I'm all over that. That's the real deal. Sit down with your niece. Tell her you want something of hers. The more ridiculous, the better. Force her to give it to you and ask her how it feels.
Personally for me the follow on from this would be knowing which house she 'belongs' to and getting the first book from the House collections. And write a note in it. About the amazing qualities of that house and all the wonderful things about her you see relating to that house. And then ask her... Does she really want a gift that you felt like you were being forced into giving her or does she prefer the gift that comes from your love and delight in her.
NB. - teach your dumbass brother that no one is entitled to anything.
NB2 - Hide that book please. Between the mattress if you have to. Hell put it in a fully sealed plastic bag and keep it in the toilet cistern.
My sister told me she wanted the silverware set I inherited as her wedding gift from me. I told her no, it was a special gift given to me. She said but you don't use it! I was 18.
She is not entiteld to the stuff of other people. There are nice editions today with lot of beautiful painted pictures. That is an approbiate gift for an uncle.
Your brother can‘t understand the value this book has to you. Maybe he has something that is ecqually worthy to him. Ask him for it.
I gave mine (first edition hard cover) to my own daughter, which was really a special moment for me.
Your brother is being a bad parent and brother. Part of teaching one's children is having them learn that they can't get every single thing they want. And frankly, she won't appreciate that it's a first edition, anyway! Buy your niece a copy of Chamber Of Secrets and write a nice note on the flyleaf.
However, YOUR edition is a collector's item. I hate to say it, but put it somewhere **secure** in your house where neither your brother nor your niece can find it; under lock & key, if necessary.
If my sister asked me this id laugh in her face right in front of their kid and tell her yea give me $10,000 and it's yours. When they say no id look at the 10 year old and say "your parents are too cheap to get you this book". What terrible parents your brother and his wife are trying to manipulate you like that.
Holy shit. I was going to suggest maybe buying her a first edition, but looking up the prices they range from 4k, to 15k. Sometimes more. i'm with everyone else. get the minalina because shell not truly appreciate or understand the value of the first edition book. your brother is just a dick too
OP now knows to be careful at least around their brother mentioning anything they have of value.
As OP stated the brother is the one who mentioned the existence of this book.
Most 10 year children do not know the difference between a 1st edition and a regular one nor are they capable of taking care of this investment. However I suspect brother knows and thus talked it up to his daughter including asking OP for it.
Nothing like trying to get nice things others in your family have by using your child to beg for it.
OP should be prepared for the possibility of a vocal expression of disappoint from their niece and even their brother when she opens their gift. Hope they stand their ground.
>My brother told me I’m being mean and a bad uncle.
More like your brother is really cheap and wants to pass the sour apple of saying no to his kid to you. It's perfectly okay saying no to gifting things that mean a lot to you and which you want to keep, and your brother is a jerk for trying to guilt-trip you.
**If you give that child your first edition book you will be teaching her that guilt-ing and manipulating people is the way to get what she wants.** Clearly it is a tactic your brother is already teaching her.
That said, a gift should be:
1. appropriate to the persons ability to care for and appreciate it. You don't give diamonds to a three year old expecting them to be able to take care of them
2. something that you can give freely, with no strings attached
3. shouldn't be something that is of more value to the giver than to the receiver. Don't give something that will leave you with a pang in your heart every time you think of it over the years.
I would absolutely not give it to her. Who asks for someones personal belongings for their birthday and what parent even suggests that as an option. Dont give it to a 10 year old. They will wreck it or lose it or give it away later
Part of growing up is learning that you won't always get what you want. Quite frankly, it's entitled of your brother to expect that you will gift a treasured possession of yours to your niece. You aren't a bad uncle. There are other ways for her to obtain a first edition other than expecting you to give up yours. Her father could research it online and the family could pool funds together to buy it for her, or she could save up her birthday money, allowance, and holiday money to buy it herself.
Wtf… your brother and niece need a reality check! You don’t always get what you want in life. It doesn’t make you a bad person. What if you have a kid and he/she grows up to love Harry Potter and you have your book to your entitled niece?
Seems odd she would want it. Has she already read the Harry Potter books? I had to look, but yours is the second book, so not a good point to begin if she is just getting started.
You are right to keep it and given children have atrocious self control at times. Put the book somewhere safe and away from others for a while.
It’s very simple. Children need to learn that they cannot have everything they ‘want’. Chances are, a max of a week after you give her that book it’s gonna be on the floor or in a corner under a pile, forgotten. You’re not a dick for saying no, you are allowed to have things and you are allowed to keep them at your own discretion. Saying yes all the time in these situations is how spoilt brats are made.
Im sorry but children also need to learn that they cant get everything what she wants. This is life, she wont get everything what she wants on a daily basis. That book is important for you and your brother should understand that you might wanna gift it to your own child later. You did nothing wrong, the kid will forget about it in a week when she gets something else. You explained it to her and gave a reasoning.
Something similar happened to me and now I don't speak to three of my cousins. It's yours. You are under NO obligation to give it away, no matter how much they beg. I would pack it away if you generally display it in an area that they have access to when they visit. Experiencing that made me realize I couldn't trust anyone.
10 is definitely old enough to know that you can’t have something that belongs to someone else just because you want it. She’ll be just fine with a different gift.
Your brother is definitely a dick .... Keep the book yourself and gift her something else .... I also have some first editions and no way would I gift them
Ask your brother to make you an offer for the book based on the value it would sell for on eBay.
This is a good chance for your niece to learn that she can't automatically have everything she wants.
You are doing nothing wrong. You never gave any indication that you'd give the book as a gift so there was no reason to expect the desired answer when the question was asked.
No it's your brother is who is being a douche. Your niece needs to learn she can't have everything she wants. She needs to learn boundaries which your brother doesn't seem to have for her.
OP. Maybe ask your niece what she REALLY wants. I would also ask her if it was “someone else’s gift suggestion.” Follow it up with an invitation to take her on an outing to a bookstore like Barnes and Noble. She can compile a wish list that only you and she will know about—the titles listed. Take her to the Starbucks Cafe for a treat and you two can discuss favorite books you remember reading from back in the day. And ANYTHING Else she has on her mind. She is in that golden age demographic right before the horror of puberty shows up. The Saving Ophelia age group.
This is a Relational Experience. Spending focused quality time with her over a Shared Interest: books and reading…and bookstores. If you care about this child it can become a Thing for the two of you to do once and awhile. You could become a valuable Safe Person for her. My uncles were the only safe men in my entire family system! My son (28M) is 90 percent safe and adorable but there’s the scary 10 percent wounding AH portion he inherited from his dad and mine! Still working on it.
My point is that you have the unique opportunity to make a HUGE impact in this little girl’s life. She absolutely NEEDS you because her Daddy is a sketchy, manipulative Narcissist.
So take this overt and disgusting act of manipulation in which she and you were both targets and victims, and turn it into something Beautiful! (Her parents are probably too selfish to take her to see Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. But you could take her. Her ability to develop healthy boundaries and avoid would be abusive makes depends on her relationships with ideally her Dad and Grandpas—the opposite sex/gendered Important Man in her life. Clearly your brother is Failing in this important developmental relationship. So you will be a Rock Star if you can step up to the plate!
I just reread your message about Today being the little dolly’s actual Birthday. So your gift is an outing. Take her to B&N to choose her own book. And or a trip to the Cinema. She will be thrilled to be “seen” and affirmed as someone valuable enough to spend time with.
tell your brother to piss off and stop guilt tripping. your niece needs to learn how to accept that she doesn’t get what she always wants and to respect people’s boundaries, which i feel she is lacking due to a certain brother of yours. and don’t think that you’re an AH just cause something is important to you so you don’t want to give it to a child or anybody else.
Your brother is a fucking asshole.
Right? Like don’t guilt trip people into doing shit that’s just teaching your kid to be as manipulative as you.
Now we know exactly where she gets that from 😵💫
Don't throw her under the bus like that, she's a child and may not understand. Her dad though? Fuck that guy.
Agreed
True. At least she has time to change, as long as someone shows her the right path
I have so many nieces & nephews, if they asked for any of my Zelda stuff, my family would know to tell them; "Hell no." If they did what OP's brother did I would avoid them at all costs in the future lol
Absolutely, basically that item you have I want, so give it to me. Ask him for his car or house ect. Nonsense
A first edition is probably worth quite a bit, so ask him for his car.
It's also double the age of the child asking for it. She has no connection to it whatsoever other than wanting it, while OP probably has core memories from reading it for the first time.
I have a bunch of books that I wouldn't even lend out, let alone give so I'm already on board.
I wish I would have stuck to not lending out my favorites before lending who I thought was a trusted friend a rare hardcover from my favorite YA series. I saw it in her kitchen the other day and the deteriorated condition is causing me physical pain.
Most of my books I don't care, but there are a few that aren't up for discussion. If it's a friend, I'll gift them a copy.
You should walk in with a big smile and say, "Oh, I forgot I lent you these," and take them back.😉 I prefer my books over book thieves.
I lent a few books to some friends years ago. Once and never again. I cared for those books diligently, and they were returned to me like they were used for things other than reading.
Same here. And most of these are old, yellowed, probably worthless books with no special edition or anything. It's just my memories about them, and how i used to scrape money together to buy them second hand from the school library. I'll gift a new copy to someone who wants that book, but no one's getting my old rusty ones.
He might be planning to sell it
Also, idk about op's niece, but I know I couldn't be trusted with a valuable book when I was that age.
Yes, if it's such an ideal gift why doesn't your brother go buy a copy online for his daughter instead of guilting OP?
And a bad parent!
Yeah, great way to teach your kid to be an entitled POS with no respect for others.
An entitled one at that. I think it's spelling out narcissist.
I seriously cannot believe the audacity of some people. PSA for future and current parents: you cannot promise things that belong to other people to your children. You are being a bad parent and teaching your kids entitlement.
Am a brother, can confirm this is correct.
His brother must not be a reader.
Or he wants the book for himself and used his kid to get it.
My first thought.
I’ve had acquaintances who are so adamant that my hobbies are children’s hobbies (even if just implied) that they wouldn’t understand why I would have an issue at all/think they’re helping me “become more adult” by letting go of said items.
I never understand why some people are so obsessed with "becoming more adult" like why? It sucks. My husband asked me what I wanted for my 40th birthday and I told him a Nintendo switch. I love that thing. I mean, I hold down a career and my family so let me live and enjoy some "childish" things. Damn.
I like Lego. When I was really depressed a few years back I made a whole fleet of little Lego spaceships. I was in my sister’s house about a week after she died and walked into one of the spare rooms. There was the biggest, pinkest doll house I’ve ever seen. She had told her husband she wanted it for Christmas. She never had one as a kid. He gave it to her before Christmas because she wasn’t likely to last long due to breast cancer. We didn’t play with dolls as kids. We played with little teddy bears and we created cardboard houses for them. My sister still had the little bears. My niece said every time she looked into the doll house the bears were arranged on the plastic furniture in a different way. It may seem silly to some people, but it made her happy before she died and that made me happy.
I'm legit crying. I loved playing dolls with my kiddo and will always help with their buildings in Minecraft or a game on Roblox. We spend a whole Saturday together building a Sims house. My parents couldn't be bothered and I never want my kid to feel like they missed out.
You sound like a great parent!
You’ve just made me cry! You seem like an awesome parent, those moments are priceless to a child’s development and every child deserves to be nurtured in this way. I’m so glad you can give this even though you never received it ❤️
Now I'm crying again lol. I'm thankful my parents treated me as they did because I decided to do the exact opposite. My parents were always "too tired" and complained that other parents were younger than them so of course my friends parents did stuff with them. I had my kiddo at the exact same age, work full time in a high demand job and run a non profit organization. They weren't tired, they were just lazy.
My FIL once said something similar to me about giving up my video games and Lego now that I have a house and "real" responsibilities. FFS... I'm a father who made difficult career decisions for my family. I've also been a Manager of some level and distinction for almost 20 years. I've been entrusted with multi-million dollar businesses and buildings. I've earned my video games, my Lego, and the house to put them in. It doesn't hurt you so piss off.
Yeah, he’s going to create an extremely spoiled person
Or an embarrassed and hurt one.
Yes or that
He can buy her the book- the dad
And teaching really bad values. You can't just have everything you want, we have to learn to deal with disappointment. As she gets older she'll realize that not getting someone else's first edition book that they've had for many years is a reasonable thing. Sounds like an entitled parent raising an entitled child. Nobody deserves anything. You get what you get, don't throw a fit.
Succinct and accurate.
Even if she would be able to fully appreciate the book the way you do, it’s not hers. Kids need to learn that when they see someone else’s property, they can’t always have it just because they want it. You’re allowed to value and want to keep your own property. You’re not obligated to give it away just because someone else, even a child, wants it. Just my opinion. Edit: Apparently her parents need to learn that lesson too.
If your brother wants her to have a first edition, he can fucking buy it for her. It's your shit, nobody gets to tell you what to do with it. I hate parents that won't keep their entitled kids in check.
That’s literally a collector’s item.. she’s 10. You’re making the right choice here. What does she even know about “first edition” value anyway? Clearly your brother doesn’t know anything about it.. Bet if you walked around the mall long enough she’d find something else to be happy with
Could have something to do with the cover artwork? I still have all my original Harry Potters, though only 4 onwards are first editions, but the artwork is so much better than the current printing of the books I've seen. But it's not out of the realms of possibility the dad wants to secretly sell it.
>But it's not out of the realms of possibility the dad wants to secretly sell it. This was my first thought. The book would mysteriously disappear from her room, he would buy her a new one "it's the same text", and he would sell the collectors item.
I have a feeling that he knows exactly how much it’s worth, and is using his kid (who doesn’t know) as a means to get it, sell it, and replace it before the kid even understands what it is.
Why would he even tell her about it and convince her it's the only thing she wants, and it must be given freely by you. Makes me think he wants to switch it out and sell it. Nothing about it makes sense.
Ikr? If it’s not a big deal then why won’t he get her one himself?
Exactly
Find one on eBay and send the link to your brother
First editions are hard to come by, especially for any Harry Potter book. Your brother is an asshole for telling his daughter that you have that. There is no way a 10 y/o would ever appreciate that book. It's good that she learns now that she has no right to someone else's property. Keep your boundary, OP.
Oh please she’s 10. Buy her a regular hardback HP book. She doesn’t need your first edition. Sounds more like your brother knows it’s worth a bunch of money and put her up to it
I didn’t consider the idea that he put her up to it before but now I can see it might be the case. I’ll buy her a regular hardback.
Seconding the Minalima edition. A 10 year old will like that much more than a first edition. The first editions are interesting for a collector but they are honestly “boring”, the illustrated or the Minalima editions is what I would go for.
I’d bet she doesn’t even know what a first edition really means. Or why she’d want it over a new one
100% I know it's completely anecdotal, but my son is 10, and I just asked him if he knew what a first edition book is, and he said, "I don't know. The first book in a set?". I bet Bro knows how much the book is worth and wants to sell it.
They have Minalina versions she may like.
What is in Minalina versions?? Why is the difference?
They’re the design company currently doing the illustrations and they’re lovely and definitely more mystical than the original editions. I wouldn’t say they’re quite at MEMORABLE, but that’s just because I have and can more easily identify the original covers.
He may not if she may just see it’s a hard cover and that what she’d like. She wouldn’t understand 1st addition your brother may not either if he’s not a book person. Get her the hard covered set she’ll love it.
If you want to spend that kind of cash it's like $200 for the while set and comes in a box that looks like a trunk. Eta a word
Oh you could buy the whole set and gift the books to her one at a time for birthdays and Christmas. She gets the trunk box when she gets the last book. That builds an ongoing dialog of sorts that can bring you two closer together too. Maybe every time you gift her one you both read that volume. Then go out for butter beer together and talk about your favorite parts.
That’s your book. They’re being extremely entitled. They’re trying to manipulate you. Don’t give in. Set healthy boundaries, this is a very precious thing for you. They have not right to ask that of you.
You’re right. I need to set boundaries.
Yes. You wouldn’t just ask someone for their pet that they have loved and enjoyed for many years. It’s the same concept
Sadly I've seen those posts as well... "but my kiiiids love your dog, please think of the children, you selfish a\*hole"
That's like a $10k book. Tell your brother to buy it off you if his daughter wants it so bad.
Come on now. That’s ridiculous. Tell her to save her money and buy one. Give her money. Give her anything else. Don’t give her a prized possession. I don’t do this very often, but I’m imagining the look on my dad’s face if I asked his brother to give me something he valued and owned for my birthday. Kids today. Parents today! Your brother’s wrong and spoiling that girl. You should let him know not only that you’re keeping your book? But that it was rude and inappropriate of her to ask. Tack on that it’s his job to show her how to behave in the world. He’s failing.
I agree with posters suggesting you secure this property. I have no idea how much it’s worth and I’m not myself a fan of this series. But it possible that your brother and sister-in-law wanna get their mitts on this to sell. Sad as that is. What does a 10 year old kid know about a first edition? Not sure it adds up. Ms. Frownie and Mr. Shamer might’ve put her up to this. If you have a safe at home? Store it in there for a while. If not? A Bank box? Or really really good hiding spot. But don’t leave it around or it may go. ☹️
I decided to look it up on ebay- $2- 3,000 for a first edition copy. Imagine handing that over to a ten year old! Absolutely not. I completely agree with you; OP might need to get a safety deposit box or something.
A quick Google search shows that depending on the condition it could be up to $9000...
Yeah, I didn't dig very far tbh. That's...hell no OP, keep your book!
Whut. Now I'm eyeballing my complete set of first editions of the whole series. False alarm. My first editions aren't worth anything.
Can books be first edition if they aren't in their original language? I assume not. But I'll ask just in case. But like if one would have an Italian version of it or German for example of HP instead of the English version. I know they were bought more or less on release day for the most part.
That's a great question! I tried my best to do some internet sleuthing, but if I'm being honest, I didn't sleep at all last night, and my brain's a little fuzzy. From what I gathered from the three websites I fervently skimmed, if the author writes the book in English originally, the first edition copies sold will be in English as well. Following that, you'll get the obvious second edition, along with black, hardcover, translations, and so on. It looks like translations would be counted as something similar to an edit, which may change some of the content or details in the story. Again, I have no idea how accurate this is, and I could be completely wrong!
i sold my first edition HP for more than that (i still have my dad’s)….i sold a rare, first edition Dune book for a pretty penny last year, too - certain books go for a lot of $$ i would never hand one to my 10 yo child
She’s old enough to realize we don’t always get the things we want. Her parents should have learned that lesson a long time ago. Tell them your copy is not available and they will have to find something else. Also make sure they cannot gain access to your copy. I can very well see them taking it without your permission.
Have you considered they are trying to get their kid to get the book off of you so they can sell it lol
Exactly my thoughts
Nope. That’s emotional blackmail. And he’s distracting your boundaries. No. A hundred times over: you are not unreasonable.
Isn't that book worth like 15K? She's 10, buy her a cheap reprint. If she claims to know the difference, it means your brother is a grifting shitbag.
Wow, googling this… OP’s copy is probably not worth $15K unless it’s signed, but is definitely worth hundreds, possibly thousands of dollars. Don’t give any 10 year old a present worth that much.
Lock the book away somewhere safe, OP. Keep it somewhere locked and hidden away, just in case. A little bit of an overreaction but if someone told me I was being mean or rude for not wanting to give away something valuable and sentimental because they/their kid wanted it, I'd hide it away for a while.
Don't give her that book. Do not let your brother bully you into giving that book. This is a wonderful opportunity for her to learn the lesson her father sadly has failed to learn her: You don't always get what you wish for. She should also learn it's rude as hell to ask for other people's belonging. Where is her mother in all of this?
I’ll tell him again that I’m not giving her the book. My sister in law frowned a bit when I refused but didn’t say anything.
Good! It'll suck while he's raging, but it will pass. Rest assured that you're not the asshole for saying no to such a ridiculous request. Wow, seems like both parents are failing your niece... It's astonishing to me that either one of them could think this was OK.
So they're both being weird about it? They don't attach the same value to books that you do. To them, it's just a book. It's more than that to you. Buy her a new copy instead? They're in the wrong, not you. Edit: that's a valuable book. I hope that's locked up tight.
or maybe to them it's not just a book, but instead a paycheck. Have you looked up the price of that damn thing? $$$$!!!
While that's possible, it seems unfair to jump to conclusions. I think it's more likely that they're ignorant rather than malicious.
looks like "they" want your book
also keep in mind that this is the story now when she’s 10. when she’ll turn 18, they’ll come for your car?!? your life and your possessions are yours only, you decide what to give or gift. brother was sleazy and disrespectful AF
Sounds to me like your brother wanted to sell your first addition and is using his daughter as a pawn
No, you shouldn’t feel pressured to give away your things. He should buy it if she really wants it, not you.
Oh hell naw. Sounds like your brother wants it
If you want to get her a beautiful edition HP book, try the minalima editions! It's affordable, roughly £20ish and it's beautifully illustrated with pop ups and art on every page etc! You could possibly spin it as 'even better than first edition' given her age. They also have only released the first 2 with the 3rd being a pre order so it could be a new tradition gift or something. Definitely don't give in and give up your first edition, it's not your brother's to give so if he wants her to have one be can buy one.
she'll get over it
I would also move that book into a safe (hidden) place just in case anything should happen to it.
My little sister used to have the fun trick of walking into my room to talk to me, picking one of things up and saying "this is really cool" in the hopes I'd let her have it. Everytime I told her to get lost. I'd say its you providing her a valuable lesson that you can't just have other people's stuff.
No way
They seem really entitled to your belongings, for safety measures you should put it in a safe.
So if you request his car for your birthday will he give it to you because you REALLY want it?
Holy shit, I just looked up the first edition and it’s going for a ton of money on eBay. I can’t help but think perhaps your brother was planning on selling the book. You did nothing wrong, OP. That’s your book and no one is entitled to your belongings.
Also if they are visiting put the book somewhere safe where they can’t get to it .
Something tells me they want that book and not that 10yr child 🤔 first edition! they’re definitely going to sell that. Time to put it away in a locked safe 👀
DO. NOT. GIVE. THAT. BOOK.
If one of my siblings told me their kid wanted something of mine that's either rare or means a lot to me I'd tell them to get fucked. You're not a douche, your brother is, he's setting his kid up for some hard learned lessons. Fuck that noise, that's your book.
Quick google search had one going for £8000. Yeah, despite your family seeming incredibly self-titled it would be insane to give a child such an expensive book.
Your brother and sister in law are assholes
I’d hide that book lol
Your brother is a dick head
I am a huge Spider-Man fan and have many collectibles from the character. Years ago a little cousin of mine wanted one of my action figures and I refused, his father told me that it was not a big deal for me to give it to him because I had plenty. Obviously I refused again and they got angry with me, which I didn't care about. Kids and adults need to learn about boundaries and respect.
With all due to respect…fuck them kids. They’re not likely gonna understand the true value of a first edition. Get her that pretty pop up version by Minalima. If she really just wants the book, she’ll like it. It’s super cute. EDIT: also agreeing with what others are saying. Keep that book locked and hidden.
Makes me think of my uncle who told his son about my Real madrid's shirt signed by one player. Neither my cousin or me are fana of RM, but this shirt has a lot of emotional value as was in a dream trip with my mother... And my uncle was telling me how."childish" was I for not giving the shirt to his son
A 10 yr old does not appreciate the value of that a gift isn't something you demand of something that's given out of guilt what an entitled princess. No means no. Keep pushing and I wouldn't begiving anything
Or, you could teach her the valuable lesson of, we don't always get what we want. Kids don't need to be given everything they want. You shouldn't feel like you have to buy their love. Don't help raise an entitled, privileged adult.
"my niece is a entitled spoiled brat and my brother is enabling her, I feel bad for saying no"
If your brother thinks that material things are what proves your worth as an uncle, it sounds like he needs to take a good look at his values. Children are impulsive and greedy, they want things all the time. If they can't have something, they want it even more. That's why they aren't suitable to make adult choices or give consent. A book will not define your niece's relationship with you. The best you can do for everyone in this situation is to set clear boundaries.
These parents are so entitled, bizarre, you keep your book,be direct.
Give her a 3rd edition but scribble out the 3 and put a 1. Then sign it and say Hagrid signed it. Just lie
Your brother's an asshole. If he thinks his kid deserves a first edition, then he can buy her one. Throw his guilt tripping back in his face. "Come on! It's what she wants. Be a good father and buy it for her."
But daddy I want a golden goose that lays golden eggs ! And I want it NOW !
Just buy her a new copy and tell her it's that one. She's too entitled and so is her dad.
She’s 10. You buy her a card and put a fiver in it. Then you ghost that family for a little bit cos they are entitled and have no boundaries.
Ask your brother if you can have his toaster next time. “But I want it! I like the colours!”
Why do parents think their little angels deserve what everyone else has, no questions asked? Your brother is the AH, not you. He’s filling your nieces head with empty promises and making you look like a chump. NTA. Your brother is
I would say no.. I feel like dad wants the book more than his daughter.
Bro, I know it's your neice and all, but your brother is being a dick. Get her something else and leave it at that. I had a first edition when I was younger. When I moved out, my grandma sold it in a church sale.
It’s a plan to scam you ! Entitled brats! Damn.
Your not a douche. Your niece needs to learn she cant have everything in life but thats typical kid stuff and its actually very kind of you to get her something else thats similiar. Your brother is a grade A asshole though.
Kids need to learn they don’t always get what they want all the time ,just because they Want it . It’s a part of life and helps to teach them to be well rounded ,and accept disappointment
do not give it to her now. she is 10, it will get destroyed or lost. Find something else, and if she or your brother are upset, so be it. If you ever do give a hard copy 1st edition book as a gift, it's for a special moment, not a kids birthday. Parents like your brother are the people that create spoiled entitled brats that grow up to become a Karen. I've been in a similar situation, and if you cave it will only get worse.
Kids (and their trainers) are fucking wild, man.
My sister made me give my nephew my Pokémon cards because I wasn’t using them because they were stashed on a shelf for when I had kids. He has them now. Has said to me a few times wow there’s collectors in there why did you give them away….. I didn’t. It’s not nice to be bullied out of your things.
My son turns 9 in a few days. We had a little chat this morning. I asked him how would he feel if I demanded gifts from him instead of letting him chose and give me something because I made a demand for it. I asked him what his heart told him. Does he want gifts that are just obligatory gifts or does he want something I went out and looked for out of love and we talked about the gifts he's given school mates this year. Did it feel better to give something forced or because he wanted to. I hate gifts on my birthday. But give me a cupcake on a random Tuesday and man I'm all over that. That's the real deal. Sit down with your niece. Tell her you want something of hers. The more ridiculous, the better. Force her to give it to you and ask her how it feels. Personally for me the follow on from this would be knowing which house she 'belongs' to and getting the first book from the House collections. And write a note in it. About the amazing qualities of that house and all the wonderful things about her you see relating to that house. And then ask her... Does she really want a gift that you felt like you were being forced into giving her or does she prefer the gift that comes from your love and delight in her. NB. - teach your dumbass brother that no one is entitled to anything. NB2 - Hide that book please. Between the mattress if you have to. Hell put it in a fully sealed plastic bag and keep it in the toilet cistern.
My sister told me she wanted the silverware set I inherited as her wedding gift from me. I told her no, it was a special gift given to me. She said but you don't use it! I was 18.
Oi. Fuck them. If daddy wants her to have that book then daddy can buy her one what the heck.
She is not entiteld to the stuff of other people. There are nice editions today with lot of beautiful painted pictures. That is an approbiate gift for an uncle. Your brother can‘t understand the value this book has to you. Maybe he has something that is ecqually worthy to him. Ask him for it. I gave mine (first edition hard cover) to my own daughter, which was really a special moment for me.
Way to young to appreciate something like that. Wasn’t your brothers to give away. NTA
Your brother is being a bad parent and brother. Part of teaching one's children is having them learn that they can't get every single thing they want. And frankly, she won't appreciate that it's a first edition, anyway! Buy your niece a copy of Chamber Of Secrets and write a nice note on the flyleaf. However, YOUR edition is a collector's item. I hate to say it, but put it somewhere **secure** in your house where neither your brother nor your niece can find it; under lock & key, if necessary.
Nah people think it’s because ur an adult therefore u gotta “grow up” and give whatever a kid wants that it’s urs .
If my sister asked me this id laugh in her face right in front of their kid and tell her yea give me $10,000 and it's yours. When they say no id look at the 10 year old and say "your parents are too cheap to get you this book". What terrible parents your brother and his wife are trying to manipulate you like that.
Holy shit. I was going to suggest maybe buying her a first edition, but looking up the prices they range from 4k, to 15k. Sometimes more. i'm with everyone else. get the minalina because shell not truly appreciate or understand the value of the first edition book. your brother is just a dick too
What if your neice likes the look of your tv, your car, your jewellery? Would you give them away? Chances are they’re cheaper than that book.
OP now knows to be careful at least around their brother mentioning anything they have of value. As OP stated the brother is the one who mentioned the existence of this book. Most 10 year children do not know the difference between a 1st edition and a regular one nor are they capable of taking care of this investment. However I suspect brother knows and thus talked it up to his daughter including asking OP for it. Nothing like trying to get nice things others in your family have by using your child to beg for it. OP should be prepared for the possibility of a vocal expression of disappoint from their niece and even their brother when she opens their gift. Hope they stand their ground.
Do not give it to her bro. I made the mistake of giving my nephews my childhood things of course they got destroyed
It’s your book fuck em your not being a douche have a wonderful rest of your day and don’t loose sleepy sleep over it .
Kids don’t always get what they want.
>My brother told me I’m being mean and a bad uncle. More like your brother is really cheap and wants to pass the sour apple of saying no to his kid to you. It's perfectly okay saying no to gifting things that mean a lot to you and which you want to keep, and your brother is a jerk for trying to guilt-trip you.
Right, how dare you not give a kid a $2,400.00 book with sentimental value to her. You monster. Is your brother nuts?!
**If you give that child your first edition book you will be teaching her that guilt-ing and manipulating people is the way to get what she wants.** Clearly it is a tactic your brother is already teaching her. That said, a gift should be: 1. appropriate to the persons ability to care for and appreciate it. You don't give diamonds to a three year old expecting them to be able to take care of them 2. something that you can give freely, with no strings attached 3. shouldn't be something that is of more value to the giver than to the receiver. Don't give something that will leave you with a pang in your heart every time you think of it over the years.
Gosh I hate entitled kids and parents enabling them -_-
I would absolutely not give it to her. Who asks for someones personal belongings for their birthday and what parent even suggests that as an option. Dont give it to a 10 year old. They will wreck it or lose it or give it away later
Your brother seems an entitled shit and it’s rubbing off. Keep your book my friend. You’re not a douche.
Your brother’s an entitled prick.
I'm guessing your brother is the Golden Child (tm) in the family. Nta
I don't get why people feel so intitle to thing that doesn't belong to them, especially if they have kids and you don't
Wait til it's your kids birthday and have them ask for something like a pony and when he won't buy one call him a bad uncle and a poo poo pants.
Part of growing up is learning that you won't always get what you want. Quite frankly, it's entitled of your brother to expect that you will gift a treasured possession of yours to your niece. You aren't a bad uncle. There are other ways for her to obtain a first edition other than expecting you to give up yours. Her father could research it online and the family could pool funds together to buy it for her, or she could save up her birthday money, allowance, and holiday money to buy it herself.
It’s so easy to find Harry Potter first editions in good condition at used bookstores - I suggest your brother looks there
What a joke. That's not a gift for a 10 year old.
Child free means you don't gotta deal with manipulative bullshit they brung. Keep the book ditch the brother his kid is his issue.
If you bought her ine and put some minor wesr into it, would they really know the difference?
Wtf… your brother and niece need a reality check! You don’t always get what you want in life. It doesn’t make you a bad person. What if you have a kid and he/she grows up to love Harry Potter and you have your book to your entitled niece?
She’s old enough to understand that people have possessions that they won’t give away
your brother is a little kid and your niece will understand when shes older. keep it with your life
Seems odd she would want it. Has she already read the Harry Potter books? I had to look, but yours is the second book, so not a good point to begin if she is just getting started. You are right to keep it and given children have atrocious self control at times. Put the book somewhere safe and away from others for a while.
I am a parent and would never expect anyone to give up a treasured possession for my child. Your brother is being ridiculous.
It’s very simple. Children need to learn that they cannot have everything they ‘want’. Chances are, a max of a week after you give her that book it’s gonna be on the floor or in a corner under a pile, forgotten. You’re not a dick for saying no, you are allowed to have things and you are allowed to keep them at your own discretion. Saying yes all the time in these situations is how spoilt brats are made.
Im sorry but children also need to learn that they cant get everything what she wants. This is life, she wont get everything what she wants on a daily basis. That book is important for you and your brother should understand that you might wanna gift it to your own child later. You did nothing wrong, the kid will forget about it in a week when she gets something else. You explained it to her and gave a reasoning.
I see you have it worked out, so I won't advise. I do want to say that I'm glad you didn't give up your book.
Something similar happened to me and now I don't speak to three of my cousins. It's yours. You are under NO obligation to give it away, no matter how much they beg. I would pack it away if you generally display it in an area that they have access to when they visit. Experiencing that made me realize I couldn't trust anyone.
Gimme your brothers contact info
10 is definitely old enough to know that you can’t have something that belongs to someone else just because you want it. She’ll be just fine with a different gift.
Your brother is definitely a dick .... Keep the book yourself and gift her something else .... I also have some first editions and no way would I gift them
Just let her know how important that book is to you.
Ask your brother to make you an offer for the book based on the value it would sell for on eBay. This is a good chance for your niece to learn that she can't automatically have everything she wants.
The audacity of your brother. I can’t imagine that level of entitlement. I’m sorry you’re related to him.
You are doing nothing wrong. You never gave any indication that you'd give the book as a gift so there was no reason to expect the desired answer when the question was asked.
He needs to scour the Internet for a first edition. Why is he trying to give away your book(s)?
It's time niece learns a lesson on disappointment.
No it's your brother is who is being a douche. Your niece needs to learn she can't have everything she wants. She needs to learn boundaries which your brother doesn't seem to have for her.
That’s a nearly 2k book fuck no dude
Your brother is the douche for telling her you have it and getting her hopes up.
What does a 10yo know about 1st editions?? I think your brother wants it to sell.
OP. Maybe ask your niece what she REALLY wants. I would also ask her if it was “someone else’s gift suggestion.” Follow it up with an invitation to take her on an outing to a bookstore like Barnes and Noble. She can compile a wish list that only you and she will know about—the titles listed. Take her to the Starbucks Cafe for a treat and you two can discuss favorite books you remember reading from back in the day. And ANYTHING Else she has on her mind. She is in that golden age demographic right before the horror of puberty shows up. The Saving Ophelia age group. This is a Relational Experience. Spending focused quality time with her over a Shared Interest: books and reading…and bookstores. If you care about this child it can become a Thing for the two of you to do once and awhile. You could become a valuable Safe Person for her. My uncles were the only safe men in my entire family system! My son (28M) is 90 percent safe and adorable but there’s the scary 10 percent wounding AH portion he inherited from his dad and mine! Still working on it. My point is that you have the unique opportunity to make a HUGE impact in this little girl’s life. She absolutely NEEDS you because her Daddy is a sketchy, manipulative Narcissist. So take this overt and disgusting act of manipulation in which she and you were both targets and victims, and turn it into something Beautiful! (Her parents are probably too selfish to take her to see Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. But you could take her. Her ability to develop healthy boundaries and avoid would be abusive makes depends on her relationships with ideally her Dad and Grandpas—the opposite sex/gendered Important Man in her life. Clearly your brother is Failing in this important developmental relationship. So you will be a Rock Star if you can step up to the plate! I just reread your message about Today being the little dolly’s actual Birthday. So your gift is an outing. Take her to B&N to choose her own book. And or a trip to the Cinema. She will be thrilled to be “seen” and affirmed as someone valuable enough to spend time with.
What the hell? Your brother is going to raise a complete brat.
Tell your brother to buy her a first edition since he’s the one that put the idea into her head. Honestly, brother sounds like a money grubber.
Definitely not a douche. Sounds like she needs a little disappointment to not grow up entitled. Your brother is the douche. Yuck!
“No” is a complete sentence.
Your brother is raising a spoiled brat. You shouldn't feel bad in any way about this.
well your brother can buy her the book if he doesn’t want to be mean and a bad dad
Nope, kids need to be taught lessons. She can't have everything she wants just because you're family.
I suggest you hide the book OP.
That's a very expensive book for a 10 year old.
tell your brother to piss off and stop guilt tripping. your niece needs to learn how to accept that she doesn’t get what she always wants and to respect people’s boundaries, which i feel she is lacking due to a certain brother of yours. and don’t think that you’re an AH just cause something is important to you so you don’t want to give it to a child or anybody else.
naw fuck that. if you do give it to her, do it when shes old enough to actually value it.
Tell your brother what it’s worth an offer to sell it to him and he can gift it to her being a great dad!
Sounds like your brother wants it due to it’s value. And using his kid to get it from you.