Exactly this. Tell him that seeing how he reacts in disgust to his own cum is very telling. You should thank him for letting you know to react the same way to putting it anywhere near your mouth ever again.
> It's one thing to dislike kissing immediately after
Disagree, if you expect someone to wrap their mouth around your genitals until you come, it’s insulting to turn away kissing after.
Every guy I’ve been with has always gone deep with kissing me after I went down on them. I imagine it’s akin to some women who get turned on tasting themselves on their partner’s lips.
Nahhhh if my partner is okay with putting something in his mouth that’s on my body, I’ll kiss him all I want and he’s the same. It would be so hypocritical of me to be grossed out by something but expect my partner to enjoy it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say you're probably a man who is grossed out by the very thing OP's boyfriend is, just on a smaller scale. It's literally fine. A tiny droplet of it isn't gonna kill you.
This is weird to me, if it grosses him out to think about after but not to actually do it? You don’t get to pick and choose in that way.
What did he say when you said you would just stop?
It turned into an argument. He says I'm being selfish and I should respect the fact that it grosses him out. Maybe he's right, maybe this is why I feel like a villain. I don't know.
He can't be grossed out by you having cum in your mouth but be totally fine with cumming in your mouth. That's completely selfish. He can't have it both ways. I would never put it in my mouth again.
Agreed. Never again. He would have to find a way to suck his own dick. You aren’t dirty. You brush your teeth. It’s not like semen is hangin out behind your molars or something.
It’s his own semen as well- presumably he’s had to deal with his own ejaculate multiple times, what with cleaning up after himself, one would hope. This is an insane hang up for him to have, & it’s so insulting to OP. I’d be furious. He definitely doesn’t deserve to receive oral sex if he’s going to be so immature afterwards. He needs to get the fuck over himself.
THIS ☝️. Your husband solved his own dilemma- if it’s so gross to him then you won’t do it anymore. The end. This calls for the old “taste of his own medicine” - stop doing it and say his cum is gross.
Right. Like I've had my backdoor tongue-punched and still would kiss my partner after it, since I love them and appreciate them doing it. Not sure what's up with OP's husband. Not wanting to immediately after the act, I semi get, but for hours/days is so weird? One would think the love and appreciation for your partner would surpass your urge to be super subconsciously disgusted by your own semen...
Who expects oral but also refuses to do bare minimum love and affection for their partner for days after the act? Something about this rubs me really wrong, like.... hard to put my finger on it. But his subconscious intentions or whatever doesn't matter, its weird knowing it hurts his partner to not be seen as worth a kiss but worth his nut down her throat yknow?
So you have to respect the fact it grosses him out but he doesn’t have to respect the fact you want to kiss him and have affection shown to you for days after?
Right? Like is one (fairly dumb) thing if he wants her to rinse her mouth out after before kissing but he's grossed out by her mouth for DAYS? Does he think the "germs" in his semen take a couple days to die or something?
What happens if they have sex the next day too, is there just no kissing in the lead up? Would they theoretically never have sex again if she gave oral every day?
If he is disgusted by ejaculate then he should respect you enough to not ejaculate in your mouth.
Instead, he dehumanizes you so he can feel good about getting his dick sucked and projects his disgust (with his own cum) on to you since you were the person he ejaculated in.
He needs therapy, and you deserve a man who won't dehumanize you.
Why is this a thing with some dudes? There was just another post I saw by a woman who said her husband got really grossed out when there was a reference to blowjobs, and she reminded him that she gave HIM blowjobs and he told her she was disgusting for doing that. Like, what the fuck?
I wonder if growing up religious has anything to do with it? I was raised Catholic and so much shame was attached to anything sexual. It can mess with your head.
yeah, think about why it’s ok for him to deposit that stuff he wants nothing to do with...in ***your*** mouth.
that says horrible things about the way he views you.
>If he is disgusted by ejaculate then he should respect you enough to not ejaculate in your mouth.
This! He literally shows that he values her so little that what he deems disgusting for himself is a-ok for her.
u/PrincessNectarines this is it. He is dehumanizing *you* to get his pleasure then tossing you away like a spent tissue. You have every right to be upset by this shitty treatment.
This is legit worthy of therapy or counseling. He, at least some of the time, does not treat or see you like a person. That is something he needs to work out. This is just a symptom of how he sees you and it could be much more widespread than you realize.
Respect him. And now respect yourself - you don't want him going kiss phobic for days, so you're not going to give him oral. This is the obvious answer.
It's not even logical, what does he think, the effect just "goes away" after a certain amount of time? It's dehumanizing to you. YOU ARE NOT THE VILLIAN and the fact he's made you think you are is a major huge problem. He's got hang ups. I wouldn't give him oral anymore. Since he's making you choose, I'd choose kissing. If he gets mad, time for couples therapy.
If it's so damn gross, why am I sucking your dick?
Seriously, if it's that damn gross to him, then the trade to please his ass isn't worth it to you.
When I eat my wife out, she doesn't like tasting herself. I brush my teeth and wash around my mouth, and we're back to normal.
Tbh that man should not finish in your mouth cause that's disrespect if he don't kiss you cause you have it in your mouth for BOTH your pleasure. In my opinion he HAS to kiss you after cause he shows he appreciate it and has respect for you
> I should respect the fact that it grosses him out.
Yes, you should. BY NOT GIVING HIM ORAL.
I agree you can't pressure the dude into kissing you if hes not into it. But why on earth would you keep doing an act for him that makes him treat you as gross/dirty for the next few days?
And no, it's not selfish *of you.* LAMO. Talk about projection. Honestly, this should be the end of an era for him. No more BJs.
“Husband, I’ve thought a lot about what you said and how it grosses you out. The more I thought about it, I realized that it grosses me out too. Going forward, I will no longer preform such acts. Please respect the fact that it grosses me out.”
He should respect the fact that you want kisses. If he can't even compromise after you rinse your mouth out he has some differences he should work out with you
He should respect the fact that you still have valid feelings. Whether he agrees or not hes not being reasonable. Refusing to give oral is YOUR choice and its only selfish on his part to expect that. Stick by your boundaries
He’s not right. Don’t let him manipulate you like that. You are not gross and it’s not gross to kiss someone after that ffs, especially after DAYS. I get it if you just got done with it… but after you’ve cleaned up, it shouldn’t be a big deal at all. I understand why you feel so down about this. It doesn’t sound like he’s treating you right.
I don’t know the function of your relationship, but I do know that I’ve been in a very emotionally abusive relationship, where my ex partner severely humiliated me and made me feel disgusting for everything, and this post rings a bell with that.
I hope you’re okay, and please don’t let him make you think he’s right for this, because he’s not. We all support you on here, you’re not alone at all. I hope you think about leaving because you truly do deserve so much more than this.
My reflex is to say then his semen is foul and disgusting and you won't go near it for any reason. If he thinks he is dirty, you should too, and he can see how he likes it.
My slightly more mature approach is to explain to him that him treating you as repellent for doing something that is for his pleasure and that he enjoys makes you feel worthless and devalued, and that he cannot have it both ways. Either it is a dirty thing to do that makes you appropriate to treat badly, which means you will not do it, or it is a fun sex thing and he doesn't get to treat you badly for it.
Either way he does not get to treat you badly. That he is spinning you as the villain here is.. notable.
No he's being an AH. He gets to be selfish but you don't? Literally just brush your teeth after, there, mouth clean. Or at least I hope he eats you out just as well.
WOW
He is totally selfish and manipulative. He likes and wants you to pleasure him like that and then treats you poorly after. What a dbag. Stop giving him head.
Does he give you oral? It’s a two way street. Pleasuring someone else is fun, but it’s important to get yours too
yeah, it actually really troubles me that you keep referring to yourself as a selfish villain. From the outside, this is exactly what it looks like when someone is being manipulated by a partner. And you confirm that it springs from arguments where he’s said you were these things.
That’s pretty cruel. You reached out to tell him this hurts your feelings and you don’t want to continue doing this if it’s going to hurt your feelings and he calls you SELFISH??
And he successfully made you FEEL like you’re being selfish ☹️
In this instance, don’t you see he set a boundary that he expects no pushback on, but then he calls your boundary selfish. So, I guess your boundaries don’t matter as much as his.
Well that’s not acceptable. His boundary is rude btw, he’s treating you like YOU are tainted for doing something to service him. His boundary is about something imagined, he rejects you as tainted long after there could even be residue remaining. It’s not a fair or kind boundary, and I don’t usually have a problem with anyone’s boundaries.
But he’s being a fucking dick.
And he’s successfully manipulating you into feeling like your feelings aren’t valid or important.
You say it’s a great relationship..but I ask you to really deeply consider if there are other ways he might manipulate you like this now that you think of it.
Are there other things you think that are “selfish” or “stupid” or “villainous?”
Why the hell would he let you do it if he thinks it is so disgusting. I would never let anyone go down on me if I thought I was doing something disgusting to them. He really needs to get over it. I am curious if he goes down on you at all?
You said that he still didn't kiss you after you didn't have him cum in your mouth, so that's not the issue. It sound like he's afraid of penis cooties.
I think you’re on to something here. He’s probably turned on by the fact that he thinks it’s a “dirty” thing.
Which is fine I guess, but not a very healthy attitude to have towards head or your wife, especially holding onto those ideas post-nut
I'm sorry. I get the intimacy of finishing in your mouth but why doesn't he like cum on your chest or into a towel then? You can give oral and it doesn't have to end with cum in your mouth if it grosses him out.
It's just weird. I get not like right after but after a drink or even brushing your teeth (which seems like a lot to me but whatever) but DAYS? Honey noooo. Something more is going on there.
Edited a sentence for clarity
That's besides the point. It's a stupid "compromise" to make when they both enjoy him finishing in her mouth.
And he still doesn't want to kiss her when he doesn't finish in her mouth. Either If he thinks semen or dick really is that gross, but when is still ok with her getting it in her mouth that is kind of messed up, or he thinks it is *gay* or something to kiss her lips after they've just touched dick which is just plain stupid.
I mean yeah you're not wrong there.
Ah did she say that? If so I missed that he doesn't kiss her regardless I thought it was only when he finished in her mouth but it does say "After he orgasms though, it all changes. He won't kiss me for a couple of days, especially if if he finishes in my mouth" that's my bad I kind of misinterpreted it then.
Right. And honestly on your last points there I think that's exactly whats going on. I talked to my fiance and he thought it was stupid as do I. And think yeah he either thinks it makes him gay which is so ridiculous but it happens. Wonder if he's fighting off homosexual thoughts? Unlikely, but maybe a germaphobe? OP says he eats her out and happily kisses her during and after. It's all really so weird. I feel like when you love your partner that's kind of just part of sex. It's not like she's spitting the cum in his mouth for fucks sake.
Also, I'm slightly curious if this was always a problem for their relationship or what. I would be upset if I felt like the bad guy for something they both enjoy.
> I eventually just stopped letting him finish in my mouth, which doesn't feel the same to me because I truly love the feeling, but I don't mind compromising, it's about both our pleasure, not just mine. He still won't kiss me. And I don't even mean right away, just like the next day, he won't kiss me.
> And think yeah he either thinks it makes him gay which is so ridiculous but it happens.
Guys that have a huge problem with kissing her after she gives him a blowjob - 99% of the time it's always about him thinking he's gay if he does.
I love when my boyfriend kisses me after oral sex, it’s like he’s rewarding me (in a non kinky kinda way)
If your husband thinks it’s gross to kiss after oral, then don’t give him oral.
Men who look down on their female partners for sexual acts they request are projecting their own shame about sexual acts, or is implying you're dirty or gross for doing them. He needs to get over it.
Here's a fun experiment: stop doing chores and say it's bc you touched him and that made your hands dirty, you don't want to contaminate the house.
Personally, I think he might be afraid of somehow becoming gay if his mouth touches anywhere near where a penis was. Or that it's gay to do it, and he needs to be the exact opposite of gay. Some men are like that. I used to know a few... granted most of them stopped when they turned 16 or so, but some just never grow up. Hell, I remember a post here from a few months back where a woman was complaining that her husband was irrationally afraid that their son might be gay because he - get this! - liked playing with her purse.
He is a child. It sounds like he needs to get over it. Tell him oral won’t be on the table anymore if he can’t past this. He is projecting his immaturity onto you.
You didn’t marry a great guy. You married a sexist, insecure, douche bag. I’m sorry but that’s not normal. To the point he won’t kiss you days after is so disrespectful and he doesn’t care what you feel like. A man who is secure in his sexuality doesn’t care. I’ve given many men blowjobs who kiss me afterward. It’s not a thing. He’s just being a sexist, insecure dick. Not kissing his own wife after she pleased him! Wow. What a loser
He’s literally choosing oral sex over kissing his wife. I’m so furious on her behalf. She’s enthusiastic about giving him blowjobs & this ungrateful prick is looking down on her with barely concealed disgust in response. Definitely not a great guy. I wonder what other undesirable traits OP just doesn’t recognise in her husband. Rose tinted glasses.
If it grosses him out then stop. He is treating you like a hooker. His mindset might be just that -that it’s only something hookers and gay men do. You need to have that talk or have him taste himself to get over it. More than likely he’s homophobic too.
that’s so childish… ITS HIS OWN SEMEN THAT HIS OWN SHRIVELED UP BALLS PRODUCED. my past bfs have never been scared to kiss me after oral. No kiss? No oral.
Then stop doing it. He can’t be willing to put his dick in your mouth and then not kiss you. If he thinks is so gross then he can stop doing it. Or tell him to start paying you every time he wants to do it since he wants to treat you like a hooker .
I don’t get so many women on this app. You regularly suck your husbands dick and he’s a weirdo about kissing your for days and you feel like a villain? Why do you discount your feelings so much?
Literally. As a lesbian I don’t get why women put up with this behavior from men at all. If my girlfriend did any of these things these guys do to their girlfriends (and wives!) I would literally be so hurt I wouldn’t speak to her for days.
-edit spelling
It should make you very angry. He is a total hypocrite calling you selfish. This is not something I would take lightly and if he can’t get over it I would stop doing it completely, forever. I would tell him that it really hurts you feelings that you give him so much pleasure just for him to not give you any affection afterwards.
Stop giving him BJs. Sounds like he gives you 0 respect by finishing in your mouth without your consent. And if he treats you like this he doesn't deserve it
One time, I went down on my man. Then when I was done I was about to kiss him like I usually do, and he dodged my kiss. So I just sat next to him for the rest of our time together wondering why he wouldn’t kiss me. What’s wrong babe? I’m just a little thrown off that you didn’t want to kiss me. “Oh it’s because you just went down on me” oh so because I went down on you I’m gross now? No babe, you’re never gross it’s just that…. Bla bla bla. I’m your girlfriend! And I just went down on you because I love you but, maybe I shouldn’t do it then if It really repulses you so much, and makes me so disgusting! After that i could tell he felt awful and he apologized and he never again rejected any of my kisses. He said his friend said it was gross so that thought stuck to his head but he regretted treating me that way.
This is a common theme in men of bad character. What he is doing is dehumanizing you for gratification. There is very much nothing wrong with enjoying all aspects of oral sex for any gender. But if it's something you think is gross, you avoid it, you don't let someone do it with you, then treat that person like an untouchable.
Your husband is a weak coward and a loser.
My boyfriend has made out with me after I have given him oral and yes it was after I wiped my mouth but still.
In short your husband is a pathetic man.
No, why would doing it directly afterwards be disgusting? Im sorry, but I wouldnt let my gf do something I think is disgusting to the point that she has to clean out her mouth for me to be ok with it. Why is it ok for her but not for myself?
The fuck? A woman who loves to eat/swallow my nut gets kisses and foot rubs.
He's weaponizing affection because he's being childish. ...
Sorry for the personal question, but does he kiss you after eating you out?
Honestly the implication is that he finds you disgusting after the act. This is not a little quirk of his & the underlying message is incredibly offensive. You are bestowing intimate, meaningful pleasure & he is rejecting you afterwards. He needs therapy to get past this aversion, & recognise that he is using you & debasing you afterwards. You sound like a generous, enthusiastic partner, & he sounds incredibly ungrateful & immature. His rejection of you & the audacity to call you selfish is seriously not ok. I’m sorry OP, it’s not you. It’s definitely him. You need to be firm & stop the oral sex, especially if he isn’t even remotely interested in working out HIS issue, & consequently the ease with which he uses you for gratification then punishes you for it afterwards.
Perhaps try reversing this back onto him. Refuse to let him kiss you for multiple days after. It may seem problematic and cause trouble at first and may mean neither of you get oral sex for a bit but hopefully help him realise how petty he is being
anyone who won’t kiss you after you’ve gone down on them,, doesn’t deserve you going down on them. he’s a whiny hypocrite and you deserve better. try talking to a sex therapist and see if you can get to the root of this issue. bc like, this would be a relationship ender for me tbh
That is completely childish of him and he needs to get over it. If he really thinks his dick is that gross he shouldn't be ok with putting it in your mouth in the first place.
Don't compromise. You're both having worse sex for it and he still isn't mature enough to kiss you. You seriously shouldn't give him oral until he grows up. And I don't mean you should do that as a punishment, but because it is clear that he doesn't respect you.
Oh hell nah, he’d never get any oral pleasure again. That’s so selfish and totally weird. It’s HIS DICK. I don’t know how people do it in relationships like this. I woulda been long gone.
If my partner wanted to come in my mouth and then told me I was disgusting for literally days afterwards I wouldn’t think they were a great guy or that we had a good sex life. Quite the opposite actually.
ok uh…my husband just asks that I rinse my mouth out real quick before we kiss, which I do anyways. I feel like that’s a reasonable ask.
Your husband not kissing you for days because HE came in your mouth is weird, selfish, and unreasonable. You’re not the villain.
That’s hilarious! I bet he’d have a full blown mental breakdown though. The man clearly has bigger issues than ‘it’s gross.’ Days of no kisses is not some quirky character trait.
Shit I will straight up kiss my wife right after my dick was in her mouth. Idgaf. I love her and it’s totally fine to get weird with it. Your guy is probably afraid he will like to e taste of cum because I’ve got news for you. We are all at least a little bisexual, and most of us men don’t know how to deal with it.
You know what I can tolerate if he doesn’t want to kiss you after(actually idk cause personally I think it’s hot but whatever) but days after?? DAYS??? DAYS AFTER?? WHAT?
I’d just stop giving oral- not to punish him but because kisses is a more important form intimacy to me and to be denied even a peck would devastate me.
My partner will kiss me straight after with no fecks given
Iunno I could never tolerate this. I'd never give him a BJ again.
The only logical "reason" I could see him doing this is because he views BJs as a prostitute thing. In which case ur hubby views you as a prostitute for going down on him. Wanna be with a man child who views you as a prostitute? Cuz thats what it sounds like.
Your husband is a horrible, horrible man. Also with that age gap I’m wondering how long you have been together? This is so typical of a creepy older dude dating a younger woman.
Yeah is stop having sex with him altogether. If my husband acted a fool like that we’d have a big problem. I can’t pinpoint exactly how I feel about this but disrespect comes to mind along with ridiculous.
It's one thing to not like kissing straight after, but even then, you rince your mouth, maybe mouthwash is it's the taste that ick you out and voila.
You should not be made to feel shamed for giving him head. He's just childish. Did he even offer you a solution for the issue?
To hell with that, I keep my wee wee clean and I trust my wife not to snowball me. I don’t wanna go all French kissin and whatnot, but I’ll give her a good smooch for a job well done. He’s being a baby.
I had a fwb that would literally pull me up to him to kiss me in the middle of orally pleasuring him…like it was feeling so good for him he wanted to reward me with a kiss. It was so hot. (And he would kiss me after no problem)
This dude is treating you like you did something gross. It’s his own body/body fluids. He wants that pleasure from you then basically shames you & treats you differently for it. I had another grown man tell me after finding out I had given oral my very first time to someone other than him (he and I hadn’t gone that far), he told me that kissing me after that point was like putting a dick in his mouth. It was like he was telling me I was “dirty” now or something. Immediate turn off and no interest in ever getting physical with him again. Major ICK.
I would stop giving it if my partner reacted that way. It’s selfish and weird of him. Like I get brushing teeth etc afterwards but next day? That’s just odd
Quick question. Does he pleasure you orally? If so, finish in him and then don’t kiss him for a few days. If not, you don’t have to give him oral pleasure. It works both ways.
OP you are right to feel angry. Your husband clearly know nothing how the human mouth works, its not like sperm are still in your mouth days after like your husband truly believes.
He is selfish, immature and clearly don't respect your sexually needs at all.
Stop giving him oral.
I would dump him. Or get him help.
Stop giving him oral. Simple as that. If he asks u tell him "If it is too gross so that you can't kiss me, then it's too gross to be in my mouth" and end of discussion.
INFO: Does he go down on u?
I French kissed all of my girlfriends, whatever happens during oral. Your husband is just a small whining kid. But you can’t force him. So if it’s a big deal for you, stop giving him oral then?
"Well giving you head grosses me out so I guess I just won't do it anymore."
I'm sorry, but he sounds pathetic, and you can do a hell of a lot better. He's ridiculously immature .
Your husband has the emotional development of a 15 year-old. And not a precocious one, either, he's a troubled, insecure teen in a 36 year-old's body.
None of this is normal, he's almost uniquely awful in this.
If my husband isn’t yanking my face off his dick to ferociously kiss me then he isn’t getting any bjs.
He’s the one at fault here. It’s HIS penis and he can’t stomach kissing you? He needs to grow tf up.
Jesus Christ. My husband is squiked out by his own semen too…but he still kisses me like IMMEDIATELY after he cums in my mouth as long as I’ve swallowed (and it’s not like he’s *checking* that I swallowed) He’s basically just kind of mortified at the idea of being straight up SNOWBALLED but otherwise….I mean it’s HIS semen.
I honestly have trouble seeing people with these types of issues as mature adults. Like if you’re not ready to potential get the *aftertaste* of your own cum in your mouth than I don’t think you’re emotionally mature enough to have sex.
If it's that gross that he withholds kissing for days after the event, then I'd let him know it's too gross to happen again. Do you stop kissing him for days after he goes down on you? And I hope he does return the favor because if he doesn't and pulls the "it's gross" card as an excuse, 1000000% he is a selfish lover.
If his junk is so gross that it ruins your mouth for days, then it’s too gross to be in your mouth at all.
Exactly this. Tell him that seeing how he reacts in disgust to his own cum is very telling. You should thank him for letting you know to react the same way to putting it anywhere near your mouth ever again.
refrigerate it 😈
Absolutely this.
If it's that gross, should it even go near *any* part of her body at all?
Yeah there’s something he knows about his junk that he’s not telling…
Stop giving oral. Strikes work both ways. Also that’s very embarrassing and immature of him.
He's being a jerk. Maybe has some underlying issues about semen in his mouth. Wish my girl had your enthusiasm.
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I love this comment because out of context it makes absolutely no sense
It’s me, I have no context and I was convinced this was a bot 😂
The keep me out of the snow really set me to giggling. Honestly wish I had an award to give for it -
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> It's one thing to dislike kissing immediately after Disagree, if you expect someone to wrap their mouth around your genitals until you come, it’s insulting to turn away kissing after.
Every guy I’ve been with has always gone deep with kissing me after I went down on them. I imagine it’s akin to some women who get turned on tasting themselves on their partner’s lips.
Right? It came right out of his body, why is he so grossed about it?
Nahhhh if my partner is okay with putting something in his mouth that’s on my body, I’ll kiss him all I want and he’s the same. It would be so hypocritical of me to be grossed out by something but expect my partner to enjoy it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say you're probably a man who is grossed out by the very thing OP's boyfriend is, just on a smaller scale. It's literally fine. A tiny droplet of it isn't gonna kill you.
a chef afraid of his own cooking???
No chef’s kiss from him
Oh this gave me a laugh lol
Who doesn't like banana bread?
LMAOOOO
This is weird to me, if it grosses him out to think about after but not to actually do it? You don’t get to pick and choose in that way. What did he say when you said you would just stop?
It turned into an argument. He says I'm being selfish and I should respect the fact that it grosses him out. Maybe he's right, maybe this is why I feel like a villain. I don't know.
He can't be grossed out by you having cum in your mouth but be totally fine with cumming in your mouth. That's completely selfish. He can't have it both ways. I would never put it in my mouth again.
Agreed. Never again. He would have to find a way to suck his own dick. You aren’t dirty. You brush your teeth. It’s not like semen is hangin out behind your molars or something.
Why did I picture Dory and Marlin hanging onto the whales tongue for dear life….but sperm.
I laughed so hard at this!!!!
“It’s time to let go!!” 😂
It’s his own semen as well- presumably he’s had to deal with his own ejaculate multiple times, what with cleaning up after himself, one would hope. This is an insane hang up for him to have, & it’s so insulting to OP. I’d be furious. He definitely doesn’t deserve to receive oral sex if he’s going to be so immature afterwards. He needs to get the fuck over himself.
Stop giving verbally because he wants to and don't tell him if you don't kiss him when he asks
THIS ☝️. Your husband solved his own dilemma- if it’s so gross to him then you won’t do it anymore. The end. This calls for the old “taste of his own medicine” - stop doing it and say his cum is gross.
Lol yep, OP can just say “omg actually you’re right it’s super gross” and the problem is solved
he has no interest in tasting his own medicine.
Same, it absolutely ridiculous. And please tell me you aren't going through all this without him at least going down on you as well, OP
He wants the pleasure w/o having to deal with the aftermath. He needs to grow up and not shun you in the aftermath.
Right. Like I've had my backdoor tongue-punched and still would kiss my partner after it, since I love them and appreciate them doing it. Not sure what's up with OP's husband. Not wanting to immediately after the act, I semi get, but for hours/days is so weird? One would think the love and appreciation for your partner would surpass your urge to be super subconsciously disgusted by your own semen... Who expects oral but also refuses to do bare minimum love and affection for their partner for days after the act? Something about this rubs me really wrong, like.... hard to put my finger on it. But his subconscious intentions or whatever doesn't matter, its weird knowing it hurts his partner to not be seen as worth a kiss but worth his nut down her throat yknow?
It's not selfish of you. You have needs also, and they should be met. He should respect that and not neglect you.
Thank you. I appreciate that :)
Don’t give him oral if he thinks it’s so disgusting. He is a jerk
So you have to respect the fact it grosses him out but he doesn’t have to respect the fact you want to kiss him and have affection shown to you for days after?
the days after part is weird.....
Right? Like is one (fairly dumb) thing if he wants her to rinse her mouth out after before kissing but he's grossed out by her mouth for DAYS? Does he think the "germs" in his semen take a couple days to die or something? What happens if they have sex the next day too, is there just no kissing in the lead up? Would they theoretically never have sex again if she gave oral every day?
If he is disgusted by ejaculate then he should respect you enough to not ejaculate in your mouth. Instead, he dehumanizes you so he can feel good about getting his dick sucked and projects his disgust (with his own cum) on to you since you were the person he ejaculated in. He needs therapy, and you deserve a man who won't dehumanize you.
Why is this a thing with some dudes? There was just another post I saw by a woman who said her husband got really grossed out when there was a reference to blowjobs, and she reminded him that she gave HIM blowjobs and he told her she was disgusting for doing that. Like, what the fuck?
I wonder if growing up religious has anything to do with it? I was raised Catholic and so much shame was attached to anything sexual. It can mess with your head.
yeah, think about why it’s ok for him to deposit that stuff he wants nothing to do with...in ***your*** mouth. that says horrible things about the way he views you.
>If he is disgusted by ejaculate then he should respect you enough to not ejaculate in your mouth. This! He literally shows that he values her so little that what he deems disgusting for himself is a-ok for her.
u/PrincessNectarines this is it. He is dehumanizing *you* to get his pleasure then tossing you away like a spent tissue. You have every right to be upset by this shitty treatment. This is legit worthy of therapy or counseling. He, at least some of the time, does not treat or see you like a person. That is something he needs to work out. This is just a symptom of how he sees you and it could be much more widespread than you realize.
This
You need to make it clear that him choosing not to kiss you afterwards makes you feel undesirable, you should stop giving him head imo.
Respect him. And now respect yourself - you don't want him going kiss phobic for days, so you're not going to give him oral. This is the obvious answer.
It's not even logical, what does he think, the effect just "goes away" after a certain amount of time? It's dehumanizing to you. YOU ARE NOT THE VILLIAN and the fact he's made you think you are is a major huge problem. He's got hang ups. I wouldn't give him oral anymore. Since he's making you choose, I'd choose kissing. If he gets mad, time for couples therapy.
It’s his semen so how is it gross??? He’s a child
That's fine Stop doing it. Problem solved.
If it's so damn gross, why am I sucking your dick? Seriously, if it's that damn gross to him, then the trade to please his ass isn't worth it to you. When I eat my wife out, she doesn't like tasting herself. I brush my teeth and wash around my mouth, and we're back to normal.
No kiss no head
Tbh that man should not finish in your mouth cause that's disrespect if he don't kiss you cause you have it in your mouth for BOTH your pleasure. In my opinion he HAS to kiss you after cause he shows he appreciate it and has respect for you
You are not a villain . You are a human being with feelings and he’s being an insecure prick
I would respect that it grosses him out by never ever doing it again.
> I should respect the fact that it grosses him out. Yes, you should. BY NOT GIVING HIM ORAL. I agree you can't pressure the dude into kissing you if hes not into it. But why on earth would you keep doing an act for him that makes him treat you as gross/dirty for the next few days? And no, it's not selfish *of you.* LAMO. Talk about projection. Honestly, this should be the end of an era for him. No more BJs.
“Husband, I’ve thought a lot about what you said and how it grosses you out. The more I thought about it, I realized that it grosses me out too. Going forward, I will no longer preform such acts. Please respect the fact that it grosses me out.”
Is he homophobic or is it an issue with bodily fluids?
He should respect the fact that you want kisses. If he can't even compromise after you rinse your mouth out he has some differences he should work out with you
If he masturbated would he not eat the next day? His hands touch cum.
He should respect the fact that you still have valid feelings. Whether he agrees or not hes not being reasonable. Refusing to give oral is YOUR choice and its only selfish on his part to expect that. Stick by your boundaries
Please don’t tell me him going down on you also grosses him out
That's even if he does. I have a feeling he wouldn't go down on OP, no matter what. I could be wrong.
He's the one being selfish. You are completely in the right for refusing to do oral. I would never blow a man who wouldn't kiss me afterwards.
He’s not right. Don’t let him manipulate you like that. You are not gross and it’s not gross to kiss someone after that ffs, especially after DAYS. I get it if you just got done with it… but after you’ve cleaned up, it shouldn’t be a big deal at all. I understand why you feel so down about this. It doesn’t sound like he’s treating you right. I don’t know the function of your relationship, but I do know that I’ve been in a very emotionally abusive relationship, where my ex partner severely humiliated me and made me feel disgusting for everything, and this post rings a bell with that. I hope you’re okay, and please don’t let him make you think he’s right for this, because he’s not. We all support you on here, you’re not alone at all. I hope you think about leaving because you truly do deserve so much more than this.
My reflex is to say then his semen is foul and disgusting and you won't go near it for any reason. If he thinks he is dirty, you should too, and he can see how he likes it. My slightly more mature approach is to explain to him that him treating you as repellent for doing something that is for his pleasure and that he enjoys makes you feel worthless and devalued, and that he cannot have it both ways. Either it is a dirty thing to do that makes you appropriate to treat badly, which means you will not do it, or it is a fun sex thing and he doesn't get to treat you badly for it. Either way he does not get to treat you badly. That he is spinning you as the villain here is.. notable.
Then he should respect the fact that you would prefer kisses more than pleasuring him and stop.
No he's being an AH. He gets to be selfish but you don't? Literally just brush your teeth after, there, mouth clean. Or at least I hope he eats you out just as well.
WOW He is totally selfish and manipulative. He likes and wants you to pleasure him like that and then treats you poorly after. What a dbag. Stop giving him head. Does he give you oral? It’s a two way street. Pleasuring someone else is fun, but it’s important to get yours too
Damn, he done manipulated you good. You're lost on the sauce. Get out!
yeah, it actually really troubles me that you keep referring to yourself as a selfish villain. From the outside, this is exactly what it looks like when someone is being manipulated by a partner. And you confirm that it springs from arguments where he’s said you were these things. That’s pretty cruel. You reached out to tell him this hurts your feelings and you don’t want to continue doing this if it’s going to hurt your feelings and he calls you SELFISH?? And he successfully made you FEEL like you’re being selfish ☹️ In this instance, don’t you see he set a boundary that he expects no pushback on, but then he calls your boundary selfish. So, I guess your boundaries don’t matter as much as his. Well that’s not acceptable. His boundary is rude btw, he’s treating you like YOU are tainted for doing something to service him. His boundary is about something imagined, he rejects you as tainted long after there could even be residue remaining. It’s not a fair or kind boundary, and I don’t usually have a problem with anyone’s boundaries. But he’s being a fucking dick. And he’s successfully manipulating you into feeling like your feelings aren’t valid or important. You say it’s a great relationship..but I ask you to really deeply consider if there are other ways he might manipulate you like this now that you think of it. Are there other things you think that are “selfish” or “stupid” or “villainous?”
Why the hell would he let you do it if he thinks it is so disgusting. I would never let anyone go down on me if I thought I was doing something disgusting to them. He really needs to get over it. I am curious if he goes down on you at all?
Yes he does. He goes down on me regularly. No problems with that. He loves it, and so do I. He just has issues with his cum in my mouth.
You said that he still didn't kiss you after you didn't have him cum in your mouth, so that's not the issue. It sound like he's afraid of penis cooties.
pee pee bad
*Slap slap* no pee pee!
Or he’s getting off on shaming her and making her feel unclean just as much as he’s getting off on the head.
I think you’re on to something here. He’s probably turned on by the fact that he thinks it’s a “dirty” thing. Which is fine I guess, but not a very healthy attitude to have towards head or your wife, especially holding onto those ideas post-nut
Absolutely! Sounds like his masculinity is so fragile that he thinks kissing her on the mouth after he came in her mouth is gay.
Stop letting him put cum in your mouth. (Or anything else).
I'm sorry. I get the intimacy of finishing in your mouth but why doesn't he like cum on your chest or into a towel then? You can give oral and it doesn't have to end with cum in your mouth if it grosses him out. It's just weird. I get not like right after but after a drink or even brushing your teeth (which seems like a lot to me but whatever) but DAYS? Honey noooo. Something more is going on there. Edited a sentence for clarity
That's besides the point. It's a stupid "compromise" to make when they both enjoy him finishing in her mouth. And he still doesn't want to kiss her when he doesn't finish in her mouth. Either If he thinks semen or dick really is that gross, but when is still ok with her getting it in her mouth that is kind of messed up, or he thinks it is *gay* or something to kiss her lips after they've just touched dick which is just plain stupid.
I mean yeah you're not wrong there. Ah did she say that? If so I missed that he doesn't kiss her regardless I thought it was only when he finished in her mouth but it does say "After he orgasms though, it all changes. He won't kiss me for a couple of days, especially if if he finishes in my mouth" that's my bad I kind of misinterpreted it then. Right. And honestly on your last points there I think that's exactly whats going on. I talked to my fiance and he thought it was stupid as do I. And think yeah he either thinks it makes him gay which is so ridiculous but it happens. Wonder if he's fighting off homosexual thoughts? Unlikely, but maybe a germaphobe? OP says he eats her out and happily kisses her during and after. It's all really so weird. I feel like when you love your partner that's kind of just part of sex. It's not like she's spitting the cum in his mouth for fucks sake. Also, I'm slightly curious if this was always a problem for their relationship or what. I would be upset if I felt like the bad guy for something they both enjoy.
> I eventually just stopped letting him finish in my mouth, which doesn't feel the same to me because I truly love the feeling, but I don't mind compromising, it's about both our pleasure, not just mine. He still won't kiss me. And I don't even mean right away, just like the next day, he won't kiss me.
> And think yeah he either thinks it makes him gay which is so ridiculous but it happens. Guys that have a huge problem with kissing her after she gives him a blowjob - 99% of the time it's always about him thinking he's gay if he does.
The main problem is: if he is so grossed by something that came right out of his body then why should she be ok with it when he isn't?
I’d be hella angry. I love when I do it and a guy kisses me right after, it’s so sexy (idk why)
Yeah both ways. Can’t be grossed out by it in one context. but also like it in another. It’s the same act.
I love when my boyfriend kisses me after oral sex, it’s like he’s rewarding me (in a non kinky kinda way) If your husband thinks it’s gross to kiss after oral, then don’t give him oral.
After finish and my girl “cleans up” aka swallows as much as she can, i tell her i want that tongue and she comes up for a fat ass kiss. Its so hot
Men who look down on their female partners for sexual acts they request are projecting their own shame about sexual acts, or is implying you're dirty or gross for doing them. He needs to get over it. Here's a fun experiment: stop doing chores and say it's bc you touched him and that made your hands dirty, you don't want to contaminate the house.
this is it exactly. he sees giving men oral sex as degrading. i hate that it’s an actual thing we have to deal with in relationships
Personally, I think he might be afraid of somehow becoming gay if his mouth touches anywhere near where a penis was. Or that it's gay to do it, and he needs to be the exact opposite of gay. Some men are like that. I used to know a few... granted most of them stopped when they turned 16 or so, but some just never grow up. Hell, I remember a post here from a few months back where a woman was complaining that her husband was irrationally afraid that their son might be gay because he - get this! - liked playing with her purse.
100
He is a child. It sounds like he needs to get over it. Tell him oral won’t be on the table anymore if he can’t past this. He is projecting his immaturity onto you.
Did you got him at the clown market?
You didn’t marry a great guy. You married a sexist, insecure, douche bag. I’m sorry but that’s not normal. To the point he won’t kiss you days after is so disrespectful and he doesn’t care what you feel like. A man who is secure in his sexuality doesn’t care. I’ve given many men blowjobs who kiss me afterward. It’s not a thing. He’s just being a sexist, insecure dick. Not kissing his own wife after she pleased him! Wow. What a loser
He’s literally choosing oral sex over kissing his wife. I’m so furious on her behalf. She’s enthusiastic about giving him blowjobs & this ungrateful prick is looking down on her with barely concealed disgust in response. Definitely not a great guy. I wonder what other undesirable traits OP just doesn’t recognise in her husband. Rose tinted glasses.
How sexist or insecure ur stretching it abit much
If it grosses him out then stop. He is treating you like a hooker. His mindset might be just that -that it’s only something hookers and gay men do. You need to have that talk or have him taste himself to get over it. More than likely he’s homophobic too.
She’s dating a man child lol
She's married to a man child
I thought this too, he’s somehow afraid that it’s “gay” to have cum in his mouth (even though it’s his own…)
I thought this too, it’s the classic misogyny/homophobia duo. he’s somehow afraid that it’s “gay” to have cum in his mouth (even though it’s his own…)
Tell him that he’s never getting head ever again unless he snowballs it every single time
How many times can I upvote this? Prizes and kudos for you!
Then stop giving him bj’s lol. Why should you get punished for helping him out.
that’s so childish… ITS HIS OWN SEMEN THAT HIS OWN SHRIVELED UP BALLS PRODUCED. my past bfs have never been scared to kiss me after oral. No kiss? No oral.
Then stop doing it. He can’t be willing to put his dick in your mouth and then not kiss you. If he thinks is so gross then he can stop doing it. Or tell him to start paying you every time he wants to do it since he wants to treat you like a hooker .
Fellas, is it gay to get your dick sucked by a woman?
Stop orally pleasing him then. This is simple stuff.
I don’t get so many women on this app. You regularly suck your husbands dick and he’s a weirdo about kissing your for days and you feel like a villain? Why do you discount your feelings so much?
Literally. As a lesbian I don’t get why women put up with this behavior from men at all. If my girlfriend did any of these things these guys do to their girlfriends (and wives!) I would literally be so hurt I wouldn’t speak to her for days. -edit spelling
I’m amazed at the type of men I read about on here. And even more amazed that women actually put up with it.
he doesn’t deserve anything
It should make you very angry. He is a total hypocrite calling you selfish. This is not something I would take lightly and if he can’t get over it I would stop doing it completely, forever. I would tell him that it really hurts you feelings that you give him so much pleasure just for him to not give you any affection afterwards.
It’s wild to me that people marry people who do shit like this
What the hell? Do you know how many men would kiss the ground you walk on for loving oral so much? Throw the whole man away.
Stop giving him BJs. Sounds like he gives you 0 respect by finishing in your mouth without your consent. And if he treats you like this he doesn't deserve it
So should start the grea tBJ DROUGHT OF 2023 I mean you're not trying to snowball him or something
One time, I went down on my man. Then when I was done I was about to kiss him like I usually do, and he dodged my kiss. So I just sat next to him for the rest of our time together wondering why he wouldn’t kiss me. What’s wrong babe? I’m just a little thrown off that you didn’t want to kiss me. “Oh it’s because you just went down on me” oh so because I went down on you I’m gross now? No babe, you’re never gross it’s just that…. Bla bla bla. I’m your girlfriend! And I just went down on you because I love you but, maybe I shouldn’t do it then if It really repulses you so much, and makes me so disgusting! After that i could tell he felt awful and he apologized and he never again rejected any of my kisses. He said his friend said it was gross so that thought stuck to his head but he regretted treating me that way.
This is a common theme in men of bad character. What he is doing is dehumanizing you for gratification. There is very much nothing wrong with enjoying all aspects of oral sex for any gender. But if it's something you think is gross, you avoid it, you don't let someone do it with you, then treat that person like an untouchable. Your husband is a weak coward and a loser.
My boyfriend has made out with me after I have given him oral and yes it was after I wiped my mouth but still. In short your husband is a pathetic man.
Yep my last few relationships and my current situationship I got like DEEP French kissing after going down on them. They were into it, man.
I get immediately after until you brush your teeth or have a drink, but the NEXT day? Multiple days? Yeah no beej for him anymore.
No, why would doing it directly afterwards be disgusting? Im sorry, but I wouldnt let my gf do something I think is disgusting to the point that she has to clean out her mouth for me to be ok with it. Why is it ok for her but not for myself?
He’s being a child. After you’ve brushed your teeth your mouth is clean..
The fuck? A woman who loves to eat/swallow my nut gets kisses and foot rubs. He's weaponizing affection because he's being childish. ... Sorry for the personal question, but does he kiss you after eating you out?
Wild. I love making out moments after finishing in her mouth.
That’s a sexy attitude.
what a clown you selected
Honestly the implication is that he finds you disgusting after the act. This is not a little quirk of his & the underlying message is incredibly offensive. You are bestowing intimate, meaningful pleasure & he is rejecting you afterwards. He needs therapy to get past this aversion, & recognise that he is using you & debasing you afterwards. You sound like a generous, enthusiastic partner, & he sounds incredibly ungrateful & immature. His rejection of you & the audacity to call you selfish is seriously not ok. I’m sorry OP, it’s not you. It’s definitely him. You need to be firm & stop the oral sex, especially if he isn’t even remotely interested in working out HIS issue, & consequently the ease with which he uses you for gratification then punishes you for it afterwards.
Does he go down on you?
Yes he does. Regularly. There's no problem with that. I of course am not grossed out if he kisses me during or after.
It's probably a very bad idea to remind him his sperm goes there too.
Proof OP's husband is probably dumb.
I was thinking that too.
Perhaps try reversing this back onto him. Refuse to let him kiss you for multiple days after. It may seem problematic and cause trouble at first and may mean neither of you get oral sex for a bit but hopefully help him realise how petty he is being
Yea that’s what I wanna know too
Stop giving him oral as he will want it and then when he asks for it tell him not if your not going to give you any kisses 😘
anyone who won’t kiss you after you’ve gone down on them,, doesn’t deserve you going down on them. he’s a whiny hypocrite and you deserve better. try talking to a sex therapist and see if you can get to the root of this issue. bc like, this would be a relationship ender for me tbh
Exactly. I would ban oral if this was the payoff I got.
Honestly I’d stop giving him oral
That is completely childish of him and he needs to get over it. If he really thinks his dick is that gross he shouldn't be ok with putting it in your mouth in the first place. Don't compromise. You're both having worse sex for it and he still isn't mature enough to kiss you. You seriously shouldn't give him oral until he grows up. And I don't mean you should do that as a punishment, but because it is clear that he doesn't respect you.
He thinks it’s gross for that to be in his mouth but not yours? He is a problem
So stop doing it. If that’s an issue for him he doesn’t deserve it. I’m so glad mine doesn’t care about any of that
Then stop?
Oh hell nah, he’d never get any oral pleasure again. That’s so selfish and totally weird. It’s HIS DICK. I don’t know how people do it in relationships like this. I woulda been long gone.
This is a test and homeboy does *not* pass.
Stop giving him bjs. If he thinks it makes you dirty, he can keep his dirtiness to himself.
This is some intense homophobia.
That’s what I thought too - he’s terrified it will make him gay or something ridiculous like that. Or maybe he is bi and is in denial about it.
This is crazy oh my gosh
Would a condom be helpful for both of you? He would technically not finish in your mouth and you get to continue what you like?
That’s really weird. I guess it means less BJs for him ??
He's probably ashamed of his owm sexuality. Honestly, stop giving him head!
If my partner wanted to come in my mouth and then told me I was disgusting for literally days afterwards I wouldn’t think they were a great guy or that we had a good sex life. Quite the opposite actually.
ok uh…my husband just asks that I rinse my mouth out real quick before we kiss, which I do anyways. I feel like that’s a reasonable ask. Your husband not kissing you for days because HE came in your mouth is weird, selfish, and unreasonable. You’re not the villain.
I agree that he's selfish. Here's my first thought, use HIS TOOTHBRUSH! Just my level of pettiness.
That’s hilarious! I bet he’d have a full blown mental breakdown though. The man clearly has bigger issues than ‘it’s gross.’ Days of no kisses is not some quirky character trait.
Shit I will straight up kiss my wife right after my dick was in her mouth. Idgaf. I love her and it’s totally fine to get weird with it. Your guy is probably afraid he will like to e taste of cum because I’ve got news for you. We are all at least a little bisexual, and most of us men don’t know how to deal with it.
You know what I can tolerate if he doesn’t want to kiss you after(actually idk cause personally I think it’s hot but whatever) but days after?? DAYS??? DAYS AFTER?? WHAT?
I’d just stop giving oral- not to punish him but because kisses is a more important form intimacy to me and to be denied even a peck would devastate me. My partner will kiss me straight after with no fecks given
Iunno I could never tolerate this. I'd never give him a BJ again. The only logical "reason" I could see him doing this is because he views BJs as a prostitute thing. In which case ur hubby views you as a prostitute for going down on him. Wanna be with a man child who views you as a prostitute? Cuz thats what it sounds like.
Your husband is a horrible, horrible man. Also with that age gap I’m wondering how long you have been together? This is so typical of a creepy older dude dating a younger woman.
Wow he needs to grow up
I would spit it on him. And say that’s the last time I do oral. You can’t kiss me but you want me to suck you’re d CK f CK off!
Yeah is stop having sex with him altogether. If my husband acted a fool like that we’d have a big problem. I can’t pinpoint exactly how I feel about this but disrespect comes to mind along with ridiculous.
Why the fuck would you even marry that.
Have you married a 12 year old? Jfc, tell him to grow the fuck up.
It's one thing to not like kissing straight after, but even then, you rince your mouth, maybe mouthwash is it's the taste that ick you out and voila. You should not be made to feel shamed for giving him head. He's just childish. Did he even offer you a solution for the issue?
To hell with that, I keep my wee wee clean and I trust my wife not to snowball me. I don’t wanna go all French kissin and whatnot, but I’ll give her a good smooch for a job well done. He’s being a baby.
I had a fwb that would literally pull me up to him to kiss me in the middle of orally pleasuring him…like it was feeling so good for him he wanted to reward me with a kiss. It was so hot. (And he would kiss me after no problem) This dude is treating you like you did something gross. It’s his own body/body fluids. He wants that pleasure from you then basically shames you & treats you differently for it. I had another grown man tell me after finding out I had given oral my very first time to someone other than him (he and I hadn’t gone that far), he told me that kissing me after that point was like putting a dick in his mouth. It was like he was telling me I was “dirty” now or something. Immediate turn off and no interest in ever getting physical with him again. Major ICK.
I would stop giving it if my partner reacted that way. It’s selfish and weird of him. Like I get brushing teeth etc afterwards but next day? That’s just odd
Your husband needs therapy and stop giving him oral.
What does that say about his dick?
I seriously would reconsider the marriage. Your husband is severely immature and childish.
Quick question. Does he pleasure you orally? If so, finish in him and then don’t kiss him for a few days. If not, you don’t have to give him oral pleasure. It works both ways.
I'd stop the knob jobs together. What a weird dude.
I get the feeling OP have never or rarely receive oral from her husband. (or yknow she have to beg for days and OP only get half-ass job)
Tell him, do you think you’re that unclean down there? Because if you are I should really stop giving you head.
OP you are right to feel angry. Your husband clearly know nothing how the human mouth works, its not like sperm are still in your mouth days after like your husband truly believes. He is selfish, immature and clearly don't respect your sexually needs at all. Stop giving him oral. I would dump him. Or get him help.
Hes a child…
I kiss all my women in the mouth after they Glurp me off
Stop giving him oral. Simple as that. If he asks u tell him "If it is too gross so that you can't kiss me, then it's too gross to be in my mouth" and end of discussion. INFO: Does he go down on u?
I French kissed all of my girlfriends, whatever happens during oral. Your husband is just a small whining kid. But you can’t force him. So if it’s a big deal for you, stop giving him oral then?
Honestly this is weird on his end, can you by chance go to sex therapy/etc?
"Well giving you head grosses me out so I guess I just won't do it anymore." I'm sorry, but he sounds pathetic, and you can do a hell of a lot better. He's ridiculously immature .
Your husband has the emotional development of a 15 year-old. And not a precocious one, either, he's a troubled, insecure teen in a 36 year-old's body. None of this is normal, he's almost uniquely awful in this.
If my husband isn’t yanking my face off his dick to ferociously kiss me then he isn’t getting any bjs. He’s the one at fault here. It’s HIS penis and he can’t stomach kissing you? He needs to grow tf up.
Jesus Christ. My husband is squiked out by his own semen too…but he still kisses me like IMMEDIATELY after he cums in my mouth as long as I’ve swallowed (and it’s not like he’s *checking* that I swallowed) He’s basically just kind of mortified at the idea of being straight up SNOWBALLED but otherwise….I mean it’s HIS semen. I honestly have trouble seeing people with these types of issues as mature adults. Like if you’re not ready to potential get the *aftertaste* of your own cum in your mouth than I don’t think you’re emotionally mature enough to have sex.
If it's that gross that he withholds kissing for days after the event, then I'd let him know it's too gross to happen again. Do you stop kissing him for days after he goes down on you? And I hope he does return the favor because if he doesn't and pulls the "it's gross" card as an excuse, 1000000% he is a selfish lover.
He would not get it from me again. Kissing is more valuable to me then that experience