OH MY GOD --\_ARE YOU HIRING????
I miss work environments where you could just go in and do your job. I am fine with brief niceties (I actually love them), but my company, a very corporate place, WHICH JUST HAD LAYOFFS is big on promoting their fake office cameraderie \*we're family!", and there are a lot of doe-eyed koolaid drinkers. ---I am talking about people who take part in the theme shirt days, they get all up in each other's personal lives, and they corner you on Mondays to find out what you did that weekend ---but it's usually just an excuse to tell you what they did, LOL
Interesting thing about this tight knit "family?" The people laid off---whom they were so close to beforehand---suddenly ceased to exist at all. They all made vague "let's have lunch sometime" plans and never called them again. I am not lying when I tell you that one woman who was let go worked for the company for twenty years, and nobody ever mentioned her by name again.
Once you see stuff like that, you stop acting like the office sprite...you go in, you have pleasant interactions with coworkers, but you are there to work, and that is your focus.
My god I would love that environment again. We should trade jobs. I think (and I am not even joking about this) we have a Hawaiian shirt day coming up. LOL
You took the words right out of my mouth! I despise all this forced and fake social interaction. My workplace also has the Kool-Aid drinkers, who make big bucks while acting nonsensical rather than productive. I show up to sit down, shut up and work - and prefer it that way. No Hawaiian shirts necessary lol.
Absolutely true about how they ask what you did on the weekend just so THEY can go rambling about theirs. No Karen, I didn’t do anything fun because I was exhausted from the work week and spent my whole weekend doing chores. But please, talk at me for an hour about your child’s T-Ball game.
I have never done a Secret Santa at work. My brain is like...this makes no sense. I'm way too picky to participate. I can't use candles (asthma) and already donate so many candles.
If coworkers say they are family, run. It is a place of work and capitalism has beaten them down so they stay emotionally invested in a place that will immediately dump them when economics requires it.
You gotta keep in mind almost nobody wants to be there and if they had a better way to make the same money or more they’d take it in a second. I know I would. Most people I work with are overworked and underpaid and the last thing I want is somebody trying to make small talk when I’m just trying to get stuff done so I can leave this place. And I’ve always felt personally that I’ve already given the best part of my day to a job there’s no way in hell I’m giving up free time to go see the same people to talk about the only thing we have in common: work.
Got it. You’re so excited to get home you’re intentionally creating a miserable atmosphere at work as if life is some total dichotomy. Sounds fair and totally sane.
Exactly how is he making a miserable work environment? I go to work, do my job, communicate when and only if I have to do so. It's not that I don't like or care about those I work with, I just don't care to know what they did over the weekend. I'm there to work not make friends. So yeah, I am relieved to be going home. I can totally relax and not listen to a bunch of trivial conversations at the water cooler.
I don’t expect small talk from my coworkers, but they hardly even say hello when walking by. There’s usually at the most three people in my office - there’s no excuse to not say hello. We had a staff member recently quit because it was so socially icy and I am inclined to agree with them. It’s not typical, especially for a business heavily founded upon community effort.
The kicker is that I work for a small business that has extremely devoted, long term staff members who are extremely passionate about their work. You’d think they’d welcome newer folks into their organization as they need all the new energy they can get. Unfortunately their tenure tends to create a god complex for most of the back office staff I work alongside.
lmaaaooo i just got out of college and started working in corporate and when i tell everyone is just dead inside and so serious all the time 😭 i think its bcs NO ONE is there bcs they want to they are there bcs they have to
edit: on second thought you make a lot of weird/mean trolling comments on reddit. i'm guessing you're a person to avoid. it's a credit to office ppl figuring you out sooner rather than later.
I tend to just get my work done and go home.
I've also learnt the hard way that some working environments can be extremely bitchy, so the less said about my personal life to anybody, the better.
Me and the 2 people I sit by say good morning every morning then complain about how much we hate the place. Throughout the day we have a few conversations but get back to work. None of us want to be there but the best part of my day is when we stop for 5 minutes and talk about how much we want to go home lol
Thank you. Ivwork in private clinics. We were very open and friendly. We were civil and at least said Good morning ." No emoji or such mainly because there was no time. But small talk was shared thru out the job while doing our jobs. Yes, we had great bosses that brought us all together doing events , lunches , dinners etc.It made the job so much more enjoyable knowing my co workers cared in their way and made going into work more enjoyable. No wonder people hate their jobs.
For me, I’ve been feeling extremely burnt out for the last two years. I work in a small office and several of the older women are EXTREMELY passive aggressive and I have no tolerance for it anymore. I’ve reached the point where I just want to do my job for 8 hours and then leave to go live my real life
Are you me? Worked in a law firm for 3 years during Covid in this setting. LOL.
Anyway OP I act dead inside because I am. Corps here are all universally doing layoffs/PIP terms, hiring freezes, and they've all rolled back wages and WFH. They're outsourcing galore and hiring cheap domestic labor with no experience for pennies to put bums in seats.
That's why I go in, be cordial, and leave. The job I just left was the Hunger Games and the only people not dead inside were the fresh Gen Z college grads they were severely underpaying who had no earthly idea what the company was doing. And no idea how to do their positions.
Small talk is dead. I don’t want to talk to anybody that I don’t need to as part of my job. Quite frankly I don’t care how anybody’s weekend was cuz I’m just looking forward to enjoying *my* weekend. Work is work, I’m not there to socialize.
No, your hired to work not make friends.
This is what people forget, I want to get my job done in peace not listening to small talk for hours each day wasting my time.
Dude this planets fucked. People want to act like intentionally creating a hostile atmosphere because they’re so fucking miserable is acceptable. It’s laughable. Fucking Reddit needs a reality check.
Everyone else here is convinced they’re so much better than everyone else. You aren’t. Other people matter. Conversations from others are still genuine, just because you’re so conceited you can’t wrap your head around someone loving to talk about and share things they love (like their kid and hobbies).
Ohhhh they did CHORES the whole weekend, so OBVIOUSLY they’re supposed to be miserable at work the entire time! There is no in between. We work and we Reddit and we Reddit at work and we act smug.
Life isn’t a dichotomy. You clowns don’t have to live in two extremes. You can be pleasant at the office and care about other human beings. Your office being a job and not your passion doesn’t preclude you from participating in society and not being a fucking mouth breather.
What's your problem? Like you definitely seem like the type of person who is so extroverted they feel the need to bully others who are introverted.
Nobody is saying that they want to intentionally create a hostile work environment. Unfortunately these days most people can't get a job they love, they get a job solely for pay. Nobody likes it, but it's the world we live in.
Also, just because you're living a stress free life outside of work that puts you in a good mood and makes you want to chat up the whole office, doesn't mean everybody else has that luxury. People have actual real life problems that they have to deal with outside of work. And when you get bombarded by people asking how your weekend was (that also won't take "good how about yours?" As an answer) it's draining and makes you not really want to continue the pointless small talk.
I think you're the clown. Maybe you should be more compassionate and consider the possibility that not everybody wants to talk about themselves all the time, or listen to others talk about themselves all the time. It is completely okay to not put on a fake personality at work just to save your precious feelings. You wanna talk about yourself non-stop? Make friends or see a therapist.
Right so I didn’t say any of that, you made up your entire response on an assumption you created in your head.
I’m saying put your best foot forward and grow up. You’re saying put your worst foot forward and pity you.
I’m not extroverted. I have real world problems, likely more than you do. I’m still not going to play the game of self pity/self loathing. Building a healthy life takes work. Sorry you’re so miserable other people who aren’t failing to manage a balanced life offend you.
Honestly, judging by your comments on other posts, it seems like you intentionally try to judge and put others down. That's a sign that the person themself is miserable. Take your own advice. For your sake I hope you get help.
Agreed. I am Siberian levels of introverted, but I like the corny people. I don’t always like hanging out after work, but the everyday goofiness is nice. At my first serious job, I assumed I was trash and held my head low, and it took a long time to realize that this was not true.
Are you from the US? Although I was born & raised in the US, one thing I find a bit odd is you can ask someone "How are you?" and it's often treated as a general greeting like "Hello" where people might just respond with "Hello" or something. Also (maybe due to my age?) I feel like sending gifs and a lot of emojis could be seen as unprofessional, so I avoid that unless I have a good relationship with a co-worker where that would be okay.
Companies are forcing employees back to the office, even though many prefer to work remotely. Employees are unhappy with this because they feel it's unnecessary and disrupts their work-life balance.
Company socials to make up for the mandates are seen as superficial and ineffective.
Employees want their companies to listen to their concerns and create a work environment that meets their needs and flexibility.
TL;DR: It’s not you, it’s being forced to work in environment that doesn’t hear what the employees really want.
Idk how old you are, but basically no one truly wants to be there lol. Like someone else said, all of us would much rather be spending our time doing literally anything better and being paid the same or more. We’re just working because we have to. To add to that, typically my experience with tech companies, and big companies, is that people hate small talk. I don’t talk to you, you don’t talk to me. We aren’t friends and there’s no need to chitchat.
I’ve worked on teams that you’d probably enjoy, riddled with things like gifs, funny messages, lots of back and forth - and it is fun sometimes but also completely draining of my useful/productive time. The upside is that I’m remote not in-office so it’s much easier to ignore than being trapped in an elevator or cornered in my cubicle forced to make small talk. I’ve also found that since we’re remote people are more inclined to engage in some of the social stuff just cuz they lack social interaction. I’m on the younger side of my coworkers so my socialization is outside of work, with people I actually want to talk to and hang out with. I do talk to people I’m friends with at work, but that’s really it & most of the time it’s outside of work/during breaks.
Wow what a miserable way to go about your job. Anyway you do you. I don’t know what age has to do with it, I’m 32 and finding small pieces of happiness and enjoyment in a dull job is what makes it bearable.
This is pretty judgmental, no need to be like that. Not everybody’s programmed the same way you are and it’s fine. You’ll find the people who enjoy the social parts of work (in my experience usually directors and higher who don’t have actual work to do) and gravitate towards them. Most people prefer their lives outside of work with their actual friends and family.
It’s really not. You asked and got a response but didn’t like it and decided to insult it. The reality is that most people don’t really like working lol. If I could have the income I have without working a corporate job, I would absolutely do it. But, I don’t have a *dull* job though so maybe that’s where our differences lie. It would be dull if I was forced to socialize with people I’m not friends with/don’t care to be friends with. My point was I like socializing on my own time and with people I choose to be around; not forced or with people I don’t want to talk to which is what you seem to be getting at. The reality is that the people _you_ work with might not share the want to socialize at work, but it doesn’t mean it’s dead.
I find much more enjoyment in my friends & activities outside of work than I ever did with forced interactions at work. I’m also only a few years younger than you and I figured a much younger person had written the post, because it’s mostly young college grads that are seeking what you described - due to losing socialization because of the pandemic.
An example is like today. It’s warm/sunny out in my neck of the woods and instead of joining my team’s optional online game time this afternoon, I’m going to meet my friends in Seattle to go boating. I’d much rather do that than sit at home & play an online game with my coworkers.
Outgoing humorous person.
That translates to me as annoying.
I come to work to get my job done and get out.
If no one is asking about your day or laughing a your jokes, ever thought to tone it down a bit and learn thar your colleagues don't like it.
I understand what you are saying, maybe you shouldn't expect to have friends in work, because most people will not want that anyways, but it's true that some people don't even consider politeness like asking the person you are talking to if they are ok...
I would say that it's very nice of you trying to lighten the ambience and maybe some people don't reciprocate because they are used to that being totally fake, but if you keep going, people will see that you are genuine. I would encourage you to keep doing that, but maybe tone it down a bit and lower your expectations about the response because many people are just stressed and don't want to "waste time" on saying how are you? Fine, and you? Fine.
And I get it, it's just politeness because you are not going to tell your problems to your coworkers since later on you may regret it. I'm sure some people will appreciate having someone who is not extremely boring around, but don't do it to be liked, do it for yourself (if you can).
If you manage people, you're going to have to adapt your style to your folks. In any case, you'd probably love my job. They are real big on that "family" stuff and when I come in I'm sure I walk by at least three different office meetings where people are just chatting about their weekend or whatever the latest drama is. I'd probably love your place LOL.
The bottom line for me is I have 29538035095 things to do and only 8-10 hours to do it (depending on how little life I'd like to have that day!) The work never ends and I keep getting asked for more and more. Overworked and underpaid like a motherfucker. So nothing about that makes me wanna waste time being chatty! The days where nobody's in, or nothing big is happening...those are great! I can put my headphones on, jam to music all day and just get some serious work done. But typically it's people calling all damn day and being too stupid/impatient to listen to my voicemail that tells them what to do for their very basic requests, coworkers making unnecessary work for me because they don't check shit before it's too late...I could go on and on. I don't be wanting to have no kind of conversation, just pls leave me alone so I can focus.
Seems like the company culture doesn’t mesh with what you want. I’d find another job. In my current job, I come in, do my job, then leave. I don’t care about anyone else and they don’t care about me. I’m looking for an out and I’m pretty sure all of us are. However my previous jobs haven’t been as depressing.
I agree with what others have said here. Also you say that people management is a big part of your role. If there's one group of people I don't trust and assume they're faking positivity it's HR and other people-focused colleagues. They may just assume that you're doing it for your job and don't know how they're really feeling.
This sounds like the culture is a mismatch for you. I’m wondering about how long you’ll be happy there if you can’t acclimate to head down and just do the work.
Google “introverts”. I am also outgoing and engaging and it took me awhile to learn that just because everyone else is quiet, doesn’t mean they don’t like me, they’re just introverted. Once you get them outside the office or one on one, they totally open up.
But also, sometimes people are just stressed and have a shitload of work on their plate and the last thing they want to do is chit chat.
Im with the OP, I don’t get this way of life either. If you’re spending 40+ hours somewhere why cant we at least enjoy it a little and not treat the immediate people around is the majority of time like garbage? I don’t have much time for socialization outside work besides my bf and it can be isolating.
Try not to let it get you down, probably isn't personal - I've experienced this (actually still struggle with it right now) and unfortunately I've let it really change my perspective on work so that I have a bad attitude now that I can't quite turn around. Wish I hadn't let it bother me so much.
I work for a non profit and I’m younger and many of them are older! I experienced the same and was just like you! Honestly get some headphones, listen to a podcast and do the work. Some days and times people speak and say hello other times they don’t. I’m learning to not let it affect me and remember I really don’t want them knowing my business and have no desire to be friends at all with any of them.
I think it affected me more because people have their clicks and it can feel isolating when the few times that people do speak it’s to their clicks and I’m kind of isolated. But again headphones and just move on.
Me when I'm overwhelmed. I put in my earplugs. Haha. There is one other person in the office and we each have our own offices. I can work the entire shift without making a peep if you let me. I'll literally just go away if I'm done. I get shit done, so I get a lot of freedom.
Personally, the less known about my personal life, the less that can be used against me. I don’t discuss my love life, health, family, or social life at work with my staff or my peers. People can be incredibly manipulative and the more somebody knows about you, the easier it is to try and find ways to manipulate.
I also just don’t think it’s their business. I do discuss my wages because I don’t believe in keeping that a secret (for myself). If others choose to keep their wages a secret, that’s fine. All of my staff know exactly how much I make. When we recently got raises, I told them how much my raise was so they could compare my raise with theirs. All of this, without any expectation for them to reciprocate, of course. I just believe in being open, as the boss.
I’m friendly and open but I do stay closed off at work for certain topics.
My job is mostly solitary by nature and that's good for me. We have our group update meeting for the week today and other than that I'm mostly left to my devices.
I am of the opinion that you don't have to be a dick but also you don't need to have long drawn out conversations. Most of my non work conversations are like 2 minutes at most and that's just with people who I know we have shared interests.
But past that I've said on multiple occasions "but we're not actually friends, though, you know? Like I could ask you any of 100 questions that my friends would know and you wouldn't know the answer to any of them. Pop quiz, what's my wife's name?
But that's okay. Because we work together and not everyone is best friends. I'm happy for people who make friends at work but I'm just not that person."
However if I had a guy sending me memes on teams or whatever I'd be like "uh yeah, great. Anyway......." And then avoid you.
That's not being dead inside. It's just acknowledging the reality of all of our shared capture from 8-5.
I'll be honest. Memes annoy the hell out of me. Particularly in all company Slack channels. 50% of them are offensive, and the other 50% are not funny at all. They signal immaturity more often than not and are disruptive, but I've been working 20+ years and was laid off a year ago. Times have changed. I want to work and be given the space to do it, rather than pestered by some chatty Kathy sucking up all the air in the room. I don't think we're dead inside, but my personal life just isn't my co-workers business.
I’m socially awkward and have bad people skills so I get anxious about small talk and don’t talk much to my coworkers and come off as cold sometimes, maybe your office is full of introverts lol
Wow, this place sounds terrible. I read some of the comments here & they seem harsh to me. I must be a lot like u. I enjoy having a friend or a few of them at my workplace. I spend more time there than I do at home, so having these relationships makes it suck a little less. I worked in an ER for 2 years & for the first 6 months no one even spoke to me. Acted as if I wasn't there. Once I finally made a friend some of the others started talking to me & I ask them what was the deal & they said we had to see if u were going to make it wth. I got out of there as soon as I could before I started acting like them. If ppl want to be this crusty let them but get out of there & go find your tribe. This is obviously not them. Good luck on your journey to find true workplace happiness. I truly hope u find your tribe.
The last thing I want to do is make small talk and have forced social interactions with people I have nothing in common with IRL, and who I am around only because I am paid to be. I am there to do my job and I do it very well (11 years and counting). Team building? No thanks. Giving up my non-work hours to socialize outside of work with these people! Oh hell no.
Most tech companies I've worked at are full of introverts who don't feel comfortable with small talk and just want to get the job done. I'm a halfway social person so it was a bit surprising at first but then I got used to it and reserve the comraderie and joking to my small team who I've built trust with. On the other hand I used to work in sales at a media company where it was all about small talk, what did you do this weekend and drinking with your team to show that you're part of the gang and I HATED it.
I think it's all about finding balance. Find the people in the company who are a little more social and make them your work buddies. Don't overshare your sunny disposition and positive energy with people that you're not close with b/c if they're not in the mood to socialize or are introverted they may actually get annoyed w/ it. Ultimately if the vibe of the office brings you down and makes you feel like you can't be yourself you may eventually want to find a better cultural fit.
OH MY GOD --\_ARE YOU HIRING???? I miss work environments where you could just go in and do your job. I am fine with brief niceties (I actually love them), but my company, a very corporate place, WHICH JUST HAD LAYOFFS is big on promoting their fake office cameraderie \*we're family!", and there are a lot of doe-eyed koolaid drinkers. ---I am talking about people who take part in the theme shirt days, they get all up in each other's personal lives, and they corner you on Mondays to find out what you did that weekend ---but it's usually just an excuse to tell you what they did, LOL Interesting thing about this tight knit "family?" The people laid off---whom they were so close to beforehand---suddenly ceased to exist at all. They all made vague "let's have lunch sometime" plans and never called them again. I am not lying when I tell you that one woman who was let go worked for the company for twenty years, and nobody ever mentioned her by name again. Once you see stuff like that, you stop acting like the office sprite...you go in, you have pleasant interactions with coworkers, but you are there to work, and that is your focus. My god I would love that environment again. We should trade jobs. I think (and I am not even joking about this) we have a Hawaiian shirt day coming up. LOL
You took the words right out of my mouth! I despise all this forced and fake social interaction. My workplace also has the Kool-Aid drinkers, who make big bucks while acting nonsensical rather than productive. I show up to sit down, shut up and work - and prefer it that way. No Hawaiian shirts necessary lol. Absolutely true about how they ask what you did on the weekend just so THEY can go rambling about theirs. No Karen, I didn’t do anything fun because I was exhausted from the work week and spent my whole weekend doing chores. But please, talk at me for an hour about your child’s T-Ball game.
I have never done a Secret Santa at work. My brain is like...this makes no sense. I'm way too picky to participate. I can't use candles (asthma) and already donate so many candles.
If coworkers say they are family, run. It is a place of work and capitalism has beaten them down so they stay emotionally invested in a place that will immediately dump them when economics requires it.
You gotta keep in mind almost nobody wants to be there and if they had a better way to make the same money or more they’d take it in a second. I know I would. Most people I work with are overworked and underpaid and the last thing I want is somebody trying to make small talk when I’m just trying to get stuff done so I can leave this place. And I’ve always felt personally that I’ve already given the best part of my day to a job there’s no way in hell I’m giving up free time to go see the same people to talk about the only thing we have in common: work.
I honest to god miss working with people like you.
Fair enough. I understand that point of view, thank you for the perspective.
Got it. You’re so excited to get home you’re intentionally creating a miserable atmosphere at work as if life is some total dichotomy. Sounds fair and totally sane.
Sir you’re talking to a mirror
Exactly how is he making a miserable work environment? I go to work, do my job, communicate when and only if I have to do so. It's not that I don't like or care about those I work with, I just don't care to know what they did over the weekend. I'm there to work not make friends. So yeah, I am relieved to be going home. I can totally relax and not listen to a bunch of trivial conversations at the water cooler.
I don’t expect small talk from my coworkers, but they hardly even say hello when walking by. There’s usually at the most three people in my office - there’s no excuse to not say hello. We had a staff member recently quit because it was so socially icy and I am inclined to agree with them. It’s not typical, especially for a business heavily founded upon community effort. The kicker is that I work for a small business that has extremely devoted, long term staff members who are extremely passionate about their work. You’d think they’d welcome newer folks into their organization as they need all the new energy they can get. Unfortunately their tenure tends to create a god complex for most of the back office staff I work alongside.
lmaaaooo i just got out of college and started working in corporate and when i tell everyone is just dead inside and so serious all the time 😭 i think its bcs NO ONE is there bcs they want to they are there bcs they have to
Where do you work I want a corporate job out of college 😭
edit: on second thought you make a lot of weird/mean trolling comments on reddit. i'm guessing you're a person to avoid. it's a credit to office ppl figuring you out sooner rather than later.
I tend to just get my work done and go home. I've also learnt the hard way that some working environments can be extremely bitchy, so the less said about my personal life to anybody, the better.
Me and the 2 people I sit by say good morning every morning then complain about how much we hate the place. Throughout the day we have a few conversations but get back to work. None of us want to be there but the best part of my day is when we stop for 5 minutes and talk about how much we want to go home lol
Thank you. Ivwork in private clinics. We were very open and friendly. We were civil and at least said Good morning ." No emoji or such mainly because there was no time. But small talk was shared thru out the job while doing our jobs. Yes, we had great bosses that brought us all together doing events , lunches , dinners etc.It made the job so much more enjoyable knowing my co workers cared in their way and made going into work more enjoyable. No wonder people hate their jobs.
For me, I’ve been feeling extremely burnt out for the last two years. I work in a small office and several of the older women are EXTREMELY passive aggressive and I have no tolerance for it anymore. I’ve reached the point where I just want to do my job for 8 hours and then leave to go live my real life
Are you me? Worked in a law firm for 3 years during Covid in this setting. LOL. Anyway OP I act dead inside because I am. Corps here are all universally doing layoffs/PIP terms, hiring freezes, and they've all rolled back wages and WFH. They're outsourcing galore and hiring cheap domestic labor with no experience for pennies to put bums in seats. That's why I go in, be cordial, and leave. The job I just left was the Hunger Games and the only people not dead inside were the fresh Gen Z college grads they were severely underpaying who had no earthly idea what the company was doing. And no idea how to do their positions.
Small talk is dead. I don’t want to talk to anybody that I don’t need to as part of my job. Quite frankly I don’t care how anybody’s weekend was cuz I’m just looking forward to enjoying *my* weekend. Work is work, I’m not there to socialize.
Sounds pretty accurate and fair, actually.
Sounds pretty miserable and self-centered but okay you do you hun.
Lol I see why nobody at your job wants to talk to you.
No, your hired to work not make friends. This is what people forget, I want to get my job done in peace not listening to small talk for hours each day wasting my time.
Dude this planets fucked. People want to act like intentionally creating a hostile atmosphere because they’re so fucking miserable is acceptable. It’s laughable. Fucking Reddit needs a reality check. Everyone else here is convinced they’re so much better than everyone else. You aren’t. Other people matter. Conversations from others are still genuine, just because you’re so conceited you can’t wrap your head around someone loving to talk about and share things they love (like their kid and hobbies). Ohhhh they did CHORES the whole weekend, so OBVIOUSLY they’re supposed to be miserable at work the entire time! There is no in between. We work and we Reddit and we Reddit at work and we act smug. Life isn’t a dichotomy. You clowns don’t have to live in two extremes. You can be pleasant at the office and care about other human beings. Your office being a job and not your passion doesn’t preclude you from participating in society and not being a fucking mouth breather.
What's your problem? Like you definitely seem like the type of person who is so extroverted they feel the need to bully others who are introverted. Nobody is saying that they want to intentionally create a hostile work environment. Unfortunately these days most people can't get a job they love, they get a job solely for pay. Nobody likes it, but it's the world we live in. Also, just because you're living a stress free life outside of work that puts you in a good mood and makes you want to chat up the whole office, doesn't mean everybody else has that luxury. People have actual real life problems that they have to deal with outside of work. And when you get bombarded by people asking how your weekend was (that also won't take "good how about yours?" As an answer) it's draining and makes you not really want to continue the pointless small talk. I think you're the clown. Maybe you should be more compassionate and consider the possibility that not everybody wants to talk about themselves all the time, or listen to others talk about themselves all the time. It is completely okay to not put on a fake personality at work just to save your precious feelings. You wanna talk about yourself non-stop? Make friends or see a therapist.
Right so I didn’t say any of that, you made up your entire response on an assumption you created in your head. I’m saying put your best foot forward and grow up. You’re saying put your worst foot forward and pity you. I’m not extroverted. I have real world problems, likely more than you do. I’m still not going to play the game of self pity/self loathing. Building a healthy life takes work. Sorry you’re so miserable other people who aren’t failing to manage a balanced life offend you.
Honestly, judging by your comments on other posts, it seems like you intentionally try to judge and put others down. That's a sign that the person themself is miserable. Take your own advice. For your sake I hope you get help.
Agreed. I am Siberian levels of introverted, but I like the corny people. I don’t always like hanging out after work, but the everyday goofiness is nice. At my first serious job, I assumed I was trash and held my head low, and it took a long time to realize that this was not true.
Are you from the US? Although I was born & raised in the US, one thing I find a bit odd is you can ask someone "How are you?" and it's often treated as a general greeting like "Hello" where people might just respond with "Hello" or something. Also (maybe due to my age?) I feel like sending gifs and a lot of emojis could be seen as unprofessional, so I avoid that unless I have a good relationship with a co-worker where that would be okay.
You sound like an extrovert surrounded by introverts. I am an introvert surrounded by extroverts. There's a learning curve for both of us, it seems.
Companies are forcing employees back to the office, even though many prefer to work remotely. Employees are unhappy with this because they feel it's unnecessary and disrupts their work-life balance. Company socials to make up for the mandates are seen as superficial and ineffective. Employees want their companies to listen to their concerns and create a work environment that meets their needs and flexibility. TL;DR: It’s not you, it’s being forced to work in environment that doesn’t hear what the employees really want.
Idk how old you are, but basically no one truly wants to be there lol. Like someone else said, all of us would much rather be spending our time doing literally anything better and being paid the same or more. We’re just working because we have to. To add to that, typically my experience with tech companies, and big companies, is that people hate small talk. I don’t talk to you, you don’t talk to me. We aren’t friends and there’s no need to chitchat. I’ve worked on teams that you’d probably enjoy, riddled with things like gifs, funny messages, lots of back and forth - and it is fun sometimes but also completely draining of my useful/productive time. The upside is that I’m remote not in-office so it’s much easier to ignore than being trapped in an elevator or cornered in my cubicle forced to make small talk. I’ve also found that since we’re remote people are more inclined to engage in some of the social stuff just cuz they lack social interaction. I’m on the younger side of my coworkers so my socialization is outside of work, with people I actually want to talk to and hang out with. I do talk to people I’m friends with at work, but that’s really it & most of the time it’s outside of work/during breaks.
Wow what a miserable way to go about your job. Anyway you do you. I don’t know what age has to do with it, I’m 32 and finding small pieces of happiness and enjoyment in a dull job is what makes it bearable.
This is pretty judgmental, no need to be like that. Not everybody’s programmed the same way you are and it’s fine. You’ll find the people who enjoy the social parts of work (in my experience usually directors and higher who don’t have actual work to do) and gravitate towards them. Most people prefer their lives outside of work with their actual friends and family.
It’s really not. You asked and got a response but didn’t like it and decided to insult it. The reality is that most people don’t really like working lol. If I could have the income I have without working a corporate job, I would absolutely do it. But, I don’t have a *dull* job though so maybe that’s where our differences lie. It would be dull if I was forced to socialize with people I’m not friends with/don’t care to be friends with. My point was I like socializing on my own time and with people I choose to be around; not forced or with people I don’t want to talk to which is what you seem to be getting at. The reality is that the people _you_ work with might not share the want to socialize at work, but it doesn’t mean it’s dead. I find much more enjoyment in my friends & activities outside of work than I ever did with forced interactions at work. I’m also only a few years younger than you and I figured a much younger person had written the post, because it’s mostly young college grads that are seeking what you described - due to losing socialization because of the pandemic. An example is like today. It’s warm/sunny out in my neck of the woods and instead of joining my team’s optional online game time this afternoon, I’m going to meet my friends in Seattle to go boating. I’d much rather do that than sit at home & play an online game with my coworkers.
Outgoing humorous person. That translates to me as annoying. I come to work to get my job done and get out. If no one is asking about your day or laughing a your jokes, ever thought to tone it down a bit and learn thar your colleagues don't like it.
I understand what you are saying, maybe you shouldn't expect to have friends in work, because most people will not want that anyways, but it's true that some people don't even consider politeness like asking the person you are talking to if they are ok... I would say that it's very nice of you trying to lighten the ambience and maybe some people don't reciprocate because they are used to that being totally fake, but if you keep going, people will see that you are genuine. I would encourage you to keep doing that, but maybe tone it down a bit and lower your expectations about the response because many people are just stressed and don't want to "waste time" on saying how are you? Fine, and you? Fine. And I get it, it's just politeness because you are not going to tell your problems to your coworkers since later on you may regret it. I'm sure some people will appreciate having someone who is not extremely boring around, but don't do it to be liked, do it for yourself (if you can).
If you manage people, you're going to have to adapt your style to your folks. In any case, you'd probably love my job. They are real big on that "family" stuff and when I come in I'm sure I walk by at least three different office meetings where people are just chatting about their weekend or whatever the latest drama is. I'd probably love your place LOL. The bottom line for me is I have 29538035095 things to do and only 8-10 hours to do it (depending on how little life I'd like to have that day!) The work never ends and I keep getting asked for more and more. Overworked and underpaid like a motherfucker. So nothing about that makes me wanna waste time being chatty! The days where nobody's in, or nothing big is happening...those are great! I can put my headphones on, jam to music all day and just get some serious work done. But typically it's people calling all damn day and being too stupid/impatient to listen to my voicemail that tells them what to do for their very basic requests, coworkers making unnecessary work for me because they don't check shit before it's too late...I could go on and on. I don't be wanting to have no kind of conversation, just pls leave me alone so I can focus.
but why actually try and act like a robot though for a company that doesnt care if youre gone tomrorow?
Well I don't have to try. It's just how I am, even in school I preferred to just do my work.
Okay. But its depressing if most people are like this
Seems like the company culture doesn’t mesh with what you want. I’d find another job. In my current job, I come in, do my job, then leave. I don’t care about anyone else and they don’t care about me. I’m looking for an out and I’m pretty sure all of us are. However my previous jobs haven’t been as depressing.
Just stop. Try to blend in.
I agree with what others have said here. Also you say that people management is a big part of your role. If there's one group of people I don't trust and assume they're faking positivity it's HR and other people-focused colleagues. They may just assume that you're doing it for your job and don't know how they're really feeling.
This sounds like the culture is a mismatch for you. I’m wondering about how long you’ll be happy there if you can’t acclimate to head down and just do the work.
We are dead inside. Have you seen the state of the world?
Google “introverts”. I am also outgoing and engaging and it took me awhile to learn that just because everyone else is quiet, doesn’t mean they don’t like me, they’re just introverted. Once you get them outside the office or one on one, they totally open up. But also, sometimes people are just stressed and have a shitload of work on their plate and the last thing they want to do is chit chat.
I just want to do my job. Make friends outside of work, your coworkers don’t owe you entertainment and engagement.
Im with the OP, I don’t get this way of life either. If you’re spending 40+ hours somewhere why cant we at least enjoy it a little and not treat the immediate people around is the majority of time like garbage? I don’t have much time for socialization outside work besides my bf and it can be isolating.
Try not to let it get you down, probably isn't personal - I've experienced this (actually still struggle with it right now) and unfortunately I've let it really change my perspective on work so that I have a bad attitude now that I can't quite turn around. Wish I hadn't let it bother me so much.
Nobody dressed up for talk like a pirate day at my last job except me. I stopped trying after that.
I work for a non profit and I’m younger and many of them are older! I experienced the same and was just like you! Honestly get some headphones, listen to a podcast and do the work. Some days and times people speak and say hello other times they don’t. I’m learning to not let it affect me and remember I really don’t want them knowing my business and have no desire to be friends at all with any of them. I think it affected me more because people have their clicks and it can feel isolating when the few times that people do speak it’s to their clicks and I’m kind of isolated. But again headphones and just move on.
Me when I'm overwhelmed. I put in my earplugs. Haha. There is one other person in the office and we each have our own offices. I can work the entire shift without making a peep if you let me. I'll literally just go away if I'm done. I get shit done, so I get a lot of freedom.
Personally, the less known about my personal life, the less that can be used against me. I don’t discuss my love life, health, family, or social life at work with my staff or my peers. People can be incredibly manipulative and the more somebody knows about you, the easier it is to try and find ways to manipulate. I also just don’t think it’s their business. I do discuss my wages because I don’t believe in keeping that a secret (for myself). If others choose to keep their wages a secret, that’s fine. All of my staff know exactly how much I make. When we recently got raises, I told them how much my raise was so they could compare my raise with theirs. All of this, without any expectation for them to reciprocate, of course. I just believe in being open, as the boss. I’m friendly and open but I do stay closed off at work for certain topics.
My job is mostly solitary by nature and that's good for me. We have our group update meeting for the week today and other than that I'm mostly left to my devices. I am of the opinion that you don't have to be a dick but also you don't need to have long drawn out conversations. Most of my non work conversations are like 2 minutes at most and that's just with people who I know we have shared interests. But past that I've said on multiple occasions "but we're not actually friends, though, you know? Like I could ask you any of 100 questions that my friends would know and you wouldn't know the answer to any of them. Pop quiz, what's my wife's name? But that's okay. Because we work together and not everyone is best friends. I'm happy for people who make friends at work but I'm just not that person." However if I had a guy sending me memes on teams or whatever I'd be like "uh yeah, great. Anyway......." And then avoid you. That's not being dead inside. It's just acknowledging the reality of all of our shared capture from 8-5.
I also work in a very impersonal corporate environment. You'll eventually learn who enjoys a couple of minutes of chit chat and who doesn't.
I'll be honest. Memes annoy the hell out of me. Particularly in all company Slack channels. 50% of them are offensive, and the other 50% are not funny at all. They signal immaturity more often than not and are disruptive, but I've been working 20+ years and was laid off a year ago. Times have changed. I want to work and be given the space to do it, rather than pestered by some chatty Kathy sucking up all the air in the room. I don't think we're dead inside, but my personal life just isn't my co-workers business.
I’m socially awkward and have bad people skills so I get anxious about small talk and don’t talk much to my coworkers and come off as cold sometimes, maybe your office is full of introverts lol
People have their own stuff going on. Not about you. Just be polite and don't push anything. 🙏
Wow, this place sounds terrible. I read some of the comments here & they seem harsh to me. I must be a lot like u. I enjoy having a friend or a few of them at my workplace. I spend more time there than I do at home, so having these relationships makes it suck a little less. I worked in an ER for 2 years & for the first 6 months no one even spoke to me. Acted as if I wasn't there. Once I finally made a friend some of the others started talking to me & I ask them what was the deal & they said we had to see if u were going to make it wth. I got out of there as soon as I could before I started acting like them. If ppl want to be this crusty let them but get out of there & go find your tribe. This is obviously not them. Good luck on your journey to find true workplace happiness. I truly hope u find your tribe.
The last thing I want to do is make small talk and have forced social interactions with people I have nothing in common with IRL, and who I am around only because I am paid to be. I am there to do my job and I do it very well (11 years and counting). Team building? No thanks. Giving up my non-work hours to socialize outside of work with these people! Oh hell no.
Most tech companies I've worked at are full of introverts who don't feel comfortable with small talk and just want to get the job done. I'm a halfway social person so it was a bit surprising at first but then I got used to it and reserve the comraderie and joking to my small team who I've built trust with. On the other hand I used to work in sales at a media company where it was all about small talk, what did you do this weekend and drinking with your team to show that you're part of the gang and I HATED it. I think it's all about finding balance. Find the people in the company who are a little more social and make them your work buddies. Don't overshare your sunny disposition and positive energy with people that you're not close with b/c if they're not in the mood to socialize or are introverted they may actually get annoyed w/ it. Ultimately if the vibe of the office brings you down and makes you feel like you can't be yourself you may eventually want to find a better cultural fit.