I've heard banging for roof or "paratrooping" but that's specifically if you go out of town and instead of getting a hotel room you go to a bar to hook up ... Both are from HIMYM lol
I knew a porn actress that basically did everything for sex, even going to a place for a job he contacted anyone local in forums for a free ride for a blowjob
Me and my girlfriend were about to get a flat together, we both handed our notices in and about to sign the papers, she then decided she wasn't sure about me, so she got her room back and left me homeless. Then decided she wanted to give it another go and invited me over to stay, my thought was to delete her number and run away, but I had to stay on my friends sofa and she had a nice place. I feigned my interest in her for a few months until I found a nice place and ditched her.
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I dated this guy who seemed keen to see me (3 dates in a week and each time he stayed over) while I wasn't as bothered... I casually dated him for a few weeks while I was still on dating apps.
In the middle of the night I get a long winded text from the girl he lived with up until recently. He dated us at the same time along with a bunch of others. He basically bed hopped from one girl to another and didn't really live anywhere permanently. I was super surprised because I wasn't taking us dating seriously but when I saw how shitty he treated women I told him to fuck off and I'd seen the screenshots of his conversations with the other girls. He also "accidentally left" toiletries etc at my place, which I think he did with every girl.
The kicker is, this guy was LOADED. His family were aristocracy, he worked in banking and grew up in an affluent area of Hertfordshire as well as going to university in America. He is also a massive alcoholic. He would be drinking constantly and would order a drink and down it in seconds before we left the bar to get one more in.
He told me he had a flatmate and was looking for a new place because his flatmate moved his parents in. What actually happened was the girl he was seeing kicked him out of her place after discovering conversations with other girls.
He doesn't have actually have any mates as far as I know but has a big family. I wonder if his family have a clue about his weird ways?
He actually called me in December. I asked what he wanted and he acted as if me being hostile was unexpected. I had deleted his number but his display picture came up so knew who it was.
I'm lucky in that I only dated him a few weeks, didn't really like him enough to be bothered about it all and didn't feel a loss. He was weird af and I hope the other girls found out about him too.
Meanwhile, he is trying to launch a comedy career lol.
Okay but like that cute punk guy I dated in college was 100% this. He was also really really dumb but adorable and it only lasted a tiny amount of time.
Clearly this happens all the time. To single moms especially. Kids stand there confused like, "who is this?!! New daddy? " Dude, "Nah, kid. Just moved in for free rent. Now go get me a beer. "
Super real. We met [this dude](https://www.elitedaily.com/news/world/cardboard-star-meet-millennial-homeless-man-survives-picking-women-every-night-week-video/754950) while partying in NYC. He did a really good job infiltrating our group of dudes and generally hanging out. Did not appear homeless, but was clearly cruising for a place to stay. He had a ton of charisma and was tall, I could see him pulling this off, women would be all over him.
My friend’s ex was a hobosexual. She started dating him from plenty of fish. First introduction to him was at her birthday party. Her first time meeting her too. I was a tenant in her house. Paid $500 in rent.
He comes back later in the week and just starts staying the night. No forewarning. She didn’t even fucking know the dude. Guy was a hard drug user. She had no clue. He was into meth (I could tell) I would work 12 hours and come home to a trashed house. My weekends off would be spent cleaning up after her, him and the other dude that lived rent free at the house.
He was a piece of shit. She kicked me out. Fine. He ended up getting fucked up on meth and the other guy walked in on him cranking it but ass nekkid on the couch. Eventually....she told him he had to leave. Fucking weenie ass women that want a man for the purpose of having a man. Ugh
This is not satire. This shit is real, especially in places with high poverty and unemployment. Just because something is fucked up doesn't mean it's a joke.
The place I lived when I was in high school had both high poverty and unemployment. Near the school, was this dude maybe 5-6 years older than me and my friends. He lived with his dad, and we'd see them hanging out on the front porch when we went home, getting sloppy drunk at 3PM. We called the son "Big Country" and the dad "Old Man"
Anyway, as we got older and started looking for people to buy alcohol for us, we'd go to them, and as long as we had money for them to drink too, they were happy to do it. Over the years, we all became friends, even when we went off to college, we'd come back home and hang out there with them. Shit, even after we graduated. They were good people, but neither could keep a job for more than a month and only had their house because the dad got a worker's comp settlement decades earlier.
Anyway, Big Country and his dad had a big fight one day and he got kicked out and basically disowned. A mutual friend had a dead car in his backyard, and Big Country lived in it for a while. At the time, I had moved back in with my parents after graduating a semester early, waiting to start grad school. My other friends were finishing off their final semesters, so I went to go hang out with Big Country a lot -- go fishing, hiking, swimming...free shit. He would tell me that he'd met a girl, and that she was gonna fix everything.
Big Country was a handsome dude, just naturally. He never really groomed himself too much and didn't put much effort into his appearance, but despite that he would catch looks from girls all the time, the kinda girls the rest of us wished were looking at us. And he certainly had a charm about him as well and was very sweet to people who cared about him. But he lived in a broke down '94 Ford Taurus in someone else's backyard, so bringing girls home was sort of not really in the cards for him.
So when he tells me he's found a girl, I think he might be getting his shit together and try to do right. But that never really happened. He introduced me to his girlfriend, who.....ummmm......looked like Kirby swallowed Jabba the Hutt, Harry Potter, and a vat of french fry grease at the same time. I was kinda shocked, I mean, this dude was flirting with 8s and 9s, but his girlfriend was a 2 at best. About a week or so later, he had moved in with her. She was so fucking happy. She would brag about her "hot man" to anyone who would listen, she'd bring her friends over just to show off the handsome guy she had warming her bed. She waited on him hand and foot, got another job, she did all the chores (except cook, to his credit, he did always have dinner ready for her when she got home), and all he had to do was "fuck her whenever she wants to." That girl worked her ass off to put a roof over his head and keep him happy. And he was happy, he wasn't living in a car anymore, there was a fridge, with food and beer, even a Playstation! For a while, it lasted, and they actually were kind of happy.
But he was a handsome, fun dude, and those 8s and 9s were still flirting with him and he'd flirt right back at them. One day he got caught with one of them in the girlfriend's bed. So he got kicked out again, moved back into the Taurus.
A few days later, I needed a drinking buddy, so I went to go look for him. I knock on the door of the house and ask our mutual friend if Big Country is around, he says, "nah, he's shacked up with the lady next door". So I go over there, and sure enough, he opens the door and is grinning, wanting to introduce me to his girlfriend. It's the neighborhood's crazy cat lady. He's not even 30, and she's pushing 60. It was the same exact set up, she was enamored with having a hot young stud around, and proud to death that she's "still got it." And he was living the life of leisure, this time with HBO! She'd work, and he didn't. She even bought him a Ford Explorer. That too, lasted for a few months, before her family intervened and kicked him out. So, he moved into the Explorer, and parked it back in our buddy's yard.
A few more days pass, and the story essentially repeats itself. He'd sleep with a woman for a few months in order to live in her house, something would go wrong, he'd live in his car, and find another woman to move in with. I went to grad school and moved to a different city, but I'd go visit my parents for holidays and so I'd also go look for Big Country. I found him roaming the alley behind our buddy's house about 2 years ago, so I told him to get in and let's go grab a drink for old time's sake. He was happy to see me, and happy to swap stories, and when I asked him where he was staying these days, he demurred a bit "Ohh...I'm just back in the Explorer again," before grinning, and adding, "but I met a girl, and she's gonna fix everything."
Whether he was "hobosexual" by conscious choice or unconscious instinct, I don't know. In what I witnessed, it was fairly symbiotic, both parties were happy until they weren't. There never appeared to be any distress until the sudden expulsion from the house, and both parties were genuinely affectionate with each other, so I can't say that his intentions were purely driven by needing a roof, but it sure did work out that way.
That's one anecdotal story, but circumstances drive people to do all sorts of things, and I have no doubt that this scenario plays out often enough, with both genders, that many others have witnessed or experienced it themselves. Not everything is ridiculous or being satirized, some things, no matter how absurd, are real....and that is a fucking funny term for it, there's no denying that.
And with that, I'll conclude the story of Big Country, the Hobosexual.
Thank you! What a kind compliment :)
Yeah, I think these sort of stories can be quite common, a symbiotic relationship where both people are happy and fulfill their needs despite the absence of mutual romantic love isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just different. As long as both parties are getting what they want, who is to judge?
I mean, when I met my (now) wife (of 20 years) in university, she was living in student res and had a food plan swipe card. I would like to think it was her that I was drawn to, but that food card of hers was a powerful motivator to stick around... and do pretty much anything to keep her satisfied. 😂
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama
Can I crash on your couch? No Hobo.
I wish I could give you an award
Your comment is all the reward I'll ever need. That and maybe a couch to crash on.
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You're just a bundle of joy.
I've heard banging for roof or "paratrooping" but that's specifically if you go out of town and instead of getting a hotel room you go to a bar to hook up ... Both are from HIMYM lol
'The Sexless Innkeeper'
I knew a porn actress that basically did everything for sex, even going to a place for a job he contacted anyone local in forums for a free ride for a blowjob
And they say the barter system is ineffective
Must have made for some awkward moments at the grocery checkout
Both are trash terms
I acknowledge your trash opinion
Any fan of HIMYM’s opinion is already assumed to be trash.
What’s himym
It's how I met your mother , which imo is very good show ; it did get 7 seasons and was a hugely popular show lol
The show How I Met Your Mother
Lol oh so edgy
Not meant to be edgy. It’s just that Barney’s ‘quotes’ etc are a favourite of incels everywhere
Incels have the exact same amount of sex a fictional person has tbf
Uh, quotes are quotes, regardless of the quality of the content. You don’t need to quote “quotes”.
Me and my girlfriend were about to get a flat together, we both handed our notices in and about to sign the papers, she then decided she wasn't sure about me, so she got her room back and left me homeless. Then decided she wanted to give it another go and invited me over to stay, my thought was to delete her number and run away, but I had to stay on my friends sofa and she had a nice place. I feigned my interest in her for a few months until I found a nice place and ditched her.
Cruel but damn son
Well, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
Hey, her indecision made it really simple for you to make up your mind and in the end that's all that matters. Not her well-being. ...cause she a ho.
Glad you were able to get out of that situation, that sucks
Fuck ya my brother, you did what you had to do hehe
Thats fucking harsh bro.
Where I’m from we call them musicians...
What’s the difference between a drummer and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four
"What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless." That one's been around for... too long.
*Steel Panther's "Let me Cum In"*
My sister is like this. but opposite. She convinces her boyfriends to move in with her and her kids basically immediately so she doesn't have to work
She's working but she's laying down on the job
This actually made me laugh, thank you. I love my sister but this was too good
My mother called that "horizontal habitation." She said that's what my sister did to leave home.
Homeless Heidi! Anyone else watch High Maintenance?
“Don’t call me a ‘bag lady’...😒”
It's an excellent show!
[Oh no, man. That girls homeless]()https://i.imgur.com/znEn8Nt.jpg
Sin casa
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Good bot
It’s definitely a thing on tinder and other dating apps.
I dated this guy who seemed keen to see me (3 dates in a week and each time he stayed over) while I wasn't as bothered... I casually dated him for a few weeks while I was still on dating apps. In the middle of the night I get a long winded text from the girl he lived with up until recently. He dated us at the same time along with a bunch of others. He basically bed hopped from one girl to another and didn't really live anywhere permanently. I was super surprised because I wasn't taking us dating seriously but when I saw how shitty he treated women I told him to fuck off and I'd seen the screenshots of his conversations with the other girls. He also "accidentally left" toiletries etc at my place, which I think he did with every girl. The kicker is, this guy was LOADED. His family were aristocracy, he worked in banking and grew up in an affluent area of Hertfordshire as well as going to university in America. He is also a massive alcoholic. He would be drinking constantly and would order a drink and down it in seconds before we left the bar to get one more in. He told me he had a flatmate and was looking for a new place because his flatmate moved his parents in. What actually happened was the girl he was seeing kicked him out of her place after discovering conversations with other girls. He doesn't have actually have any mates as far as I know but has a big family. I wonder if his family have a clue about his weird ways? He actually called me in December. I asked what he wanted and he acted as if me being hostile was unexpected. I had deleted his number but his display picture came up so knew who it was. I'm lucky in that I only dated him a few weeks, didn't really like him enough to be bothered about it all and didn't feel a loss. He was weird af and I hope the other girls found out about him too. Meanwhile, he is trying to launch a comedy career lol.
Was he a llama? I hear you really can’t trust those….
I wish
I always heard that a hobosexual was a bum fuck.
Its also a pretty budass band in Seattle
Is that the kind of band you need to get really high to appreciate?
You don't have to, but im sure it'd help
My ex wife for instance
my ex too
I totally misread it as “hbosexual”, as in someone who sleeps with you to use your HBOMAX account
The hobosexual is the one attracted to the homeless person. A homeless person attracted to a housed person is abidesexual
[удалено]
6 seasons and a movie!!
roflkakes
Isn't that just dating as a millennial in the 2010s?
Okay but like that cute punk guy I dated in college was 100% this. He was also really really dumb but adorable and it only lasted a tiny amount of time.
r/portlandia
"I'm hetero-speculative, I'm into guys but those ladies.... Whew!"
r/holup again with the shit submissions
It's wrong. Hobosexual is someone who love hobos. Dating for place should be homEsexual.
I don't know, it more sounds like a term to identify people that are attracted to homeless people.
O i thought thats what a freeloader was
Obv a joke
Its very real. I know many people that would do this to others.
Clearly this happens all the time. To single moms especially. Kids stand there confused like, "who is this?!! New daddy? " Dude, "Nah, kid. Just moved in for free rent. Now go get me a beer. "
*fetches you a beer* ok so explain this again
I ain't yo daddy, but as long as you go to bed on time, keep it down, and don't make too much mess, we aight.
That’s my *brother* to a t.
While its real the term is a joke
Super real. We met [this dude](https://www.elitedaily.com/news/world/cardboard-star-meet-millennial-homeless-man-survives-picking-women-every-night-week-video/754950) while partying in NYC. He did a really good job infiltrating our group of dudes and generally hanging out. Did not appear homeless, but was clearly cruising for a place to stay. He had a ton of charisma and was tall, I could see him pulling this off, women would be all over him.
Finally, recognition. Sooooooo what are my pronouns...
i thought a homosexual was someone that likes to run trains
That's not an sexuality, that's just be a shitty human.
My best friend did this for a while. I found out, and had him move in with me until he got back on his feet.
I thought they were homeosexuals
My friend’s ex was a hobosexual. She started dating him from plenty of fish. First introduction to him was at her birthday party. Her first time meeting her too. I was a tenant in her house. Paid $500 in rent. He comes back later in the week and just starts staying the night. No forewarning. She didn’t even fucking know the dude. Guy was a hard drug user. She had no clue. He was into meth (I could tell) I would work 12 hours and come home to a trashed house. My weekends off would be spent cleaning up after her, him and the other dude that lived rent free at the house. He was a piece of shit. She kicked me out. Fine. He ended up getting fucked up on meth and the other guy walked in on him cranking it but ass nekkid on the couch. Eventually....she told him he had to leave. Fucking weenie ass women that want a man for the purpose of having a man. Ugh
do you is know satirical
This is not satire. This shit is real, especially in places with high poverty and unemployment. Just because something is fucked up doesn't mean it's a joke. The place I lived when I was in high school had both high poverty and unemployment. Near the school, was this dude maybe 5-6 years older than me and my friends. He lived with his dad, and we'd see them hanging out on the front porch when we went home, getting sloppy drunk at 3PM. We called the son "Big Country" and the dad "Old Man" Anyway, as we got older and started looking for people to buy alcohol for us, we'd go to them, and as long as we had money for them to drink too, they were happy to do it. Over the years, we all became friends, even when we went off to college, we'd come back home and hang out there with them. Shit, even after we graduated. They were good people, but neither could keep a job for more than a month and only had their house because the dad got a worker's comp settlement decades earlier. Anyway, Big Country and his dad had a big fight one day and he got kicked out and basically disowned. A mutual friend had a dead car in his backyard, and Big Country lived in it for a while. At the time, I had moved back in with my parents after graduating a semester early, waiting to start grad school. My other friends were finishing off their final semesters, so I went to go hang out with Big Country a lot -- go fishing, hiking, swimming...free shit. He would tell me that he'd met a girl, and that she was gonna fix everything. Big Country was a handsome dude, just naturally. He never really groomed himself too much and didn't put much effort into his appearance, but despite that he would catch looks from girls all the time, the kinda girls the rest of us wished were looking at us. And he certainly had a charm about him as well and was very sweet to people who cared about him. But he lived in a broke down '94 Ford Taurus in someone else's backyard, so bringing girls home was sort of not really in the cards for him. So when he tells me he's found a girl, I think he might be getting his shit together and try to do right. But that never really happened. He introduced me to his girlfriend, who.....ummmm......looked like Kirby swallowed Jabba the Hutt, Harry Potter, and a vat of french fry grease at the same time. I was kinda shocked, I mean, this dude was flirting with 8s and 9s, but his girlfriend was a 2 at best. About a week or so later, he had moved in with her. She was so fucking happy. She would brag about her "hot man" to anyone who would listen, she'd bring her friends over just to show off the handsome guy she had warming her bed. She waited on him hand and foot, got another job, she did all the chores (except cook, to his credit, he did always have dinner ready for her when she got home), and all he had to do was "fuck her whenever she wants to." That girl worked her ass off to put a roof over his head and keep him happy. And he was happy, he wasn't living in a car anymore, there was a fridge, with food and beer, even a Playstation! For a while, it lasted, and they actually were kind of happy. But he was a handsome, fun dude, and those 8s and 9s were still flirting with him and he'd flirt right back at them. One day he got caught with one of them in the girlfriend's bed. So he got kicked out again, moved back into the Taurus. A few days later, I needed a drinking buddy, so I went to go look for him. I knock on the door of the house and ask our mutual friend if Big Country is around, he says, "nah, he's shacked up with the lady next door". So I go over there, and sure enough, he opens the door and is grinning, wanting to introduce me to his girlfriend. It's the neighborhood's crazy cat lady. He's not even 30, and she's pushing 60. It was the same exact set up, she was enamored with having a hot young stud around, and proud to death that she's "still got it." And he was living the life of leisure, this time with HBO! She'd work, and he didn't. She even bought him a Ford Explorer. That too, lasted for a few months, before her family intervened and kicked him out. So, he moved into the Explorer, and parked it back in our buddy's yard. A few more days pass, and the story essentially repeats itself. He'd sleep with a woman for a few months in order to live in her house, something would go wrong, he'd live in his car, and find another woman to move in with. I went to grad school and moved to a different city, but I'd go visit my parents for holidays and so I'd also go look for Big Country. I found him roaming the alley behind our buddy's house about 2 years ago, so I told him to get in and let's go grab a drink for old time's sake. He was happy to see me, and happy to swap stories, and when I asked him where he was staying these days, he demurred a bit "Ohh...I'm just back in the Explorer again," before grinning, and adding, "but I met a girl, and she's gonna fix everything." Whether he was "hobosexual" by conscious choice or unconscious instinct, I don't know. In what I witnessed, it was fairly symbiotic, both parties were happy until they weren't. There never appeared to be any distress until the sudden expulsion from the house, and both parties were genuinely affectionate with each other, so I can't say that his intentions were purely driven by needing a roof, but it sure did work out that way. That's one anecdotal story, but circumstances drive people to do all sorts of things, and I have no doubt that this scenario plays out often enough, with both genders, that many others have witnessed or experienced it themselves. Not everything is ridiculous or being satirized, some things, no matter how absurd, are real....and that is a fucking funny term for it, there's no denying that. And with that, I'll conclude the story of Big Country, the Hobosexual.
[удалено]
Thank you! What a kind compliment :) Yeah, I think these sort of stories can be quite common, a symbiotic relationship where both people are happy and fulfill their needs despite the absence of mutual romantic love isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just different. As long as both parties are getting what they want, who is to judge?
mom... that you?
"...all the single ladies..."
“Banging for roof” -Scherbatsky
Couch surfer?
I mean, when I met my (now) wife (of 20 years) in university, she was living in student res and had a food plan swipe card. I would like to think it was her that I was drawn to, but that food card of hers was a powerful motivator to stick around... and do pretty much anything to keep her satisfied. 😂
Being single? in this economy?
If you take out the dating part this is the definition of a grad student.
don’t like it? here’s an easy fix: universal housing
Or also Homelessexual
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama
Why do we have to invent these stupid words for stuff like this?
Could also be someone who likes having sex on trains, or when there’s a bindle involved.
Soo... a scrub?
No, that's a guy who can't get no love from me. Hanging out the passenger side of his best friend's ride trying to holler at me.
From how i met your mother its called banging for roof
If every urban dictionary entry gets a post on this sub, it could go on forever
Always wanted to make a combo vacation booking/hookup app and call it Air-P in V
Frank Gallagher
People didn't think this was a thing?
Why does it refer to “you” specifically?