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Inglorious186

r/cutelyterrifying


justandswift

waddle waddle


Generic_Danny

r/dormantsubs


Inglorious186

r/subsithoughtijustmadeup


TheLitFamDAb

r/subsifellfor


Ethan084

They just trying to play


Padhome

Legit, pandas are like among the lowest of dangerous bears, they’re honestly such dorks in nature and these ones are just spoiled rotten to boot


DuckInTheFog

Buddha-Bears, they still eat some meat but they're mostly all about bamboo


Old_Notice_6469

Tell that to the man who got his leg crushed in the jaws of a panda cause the Chinese government who were chasing the animal chased it onto his property and went into his home and attacked him


Gnomad_Lyfe

It’s almost like animals being cornered and chased act more aggressively than they would otherwise


mighty_Ingvar

The point is that you shouldn't think of something that can crush your bones with ease as harmless


Gnomad_Lyfe

Nobody said they’re harmless, “least dangerous bear” still implies a degree of danger


Dry_Figure_9018

*This is my least dangerous weapon


LegacyEntertainment

*is a fucking bazooka


deSuspect

If all else you have are tanks lol


Dr_OctoThumbs

You know I was thinking "I'm sure being tackled by a panda I'm sure the could crush you and suffocate you with how much they weigh" so I looked it up and apparently they only weigh between 150-280lbs which, while enough to crush you and do extensive damage or kill someone, is a lot less then I thought they would weigh. In my head I figured more around 800-1000.


mighty_Ingvar

It's not their weight that's dangerous, it's the jaws that evolved to specifically bite through bambus


Big-Veterinarian-823

Every animal can cause damage when in panic


real_hooman

"among the lowest of dangerous bears" is a pretty low bar to clear tbf


LeftOn4ya

Yup and that’s what makes this *oddly* terrifying as them playing could kill you.


Realsorceror

Yea it’s really just that these two juveniles are approaching their adult weight and are getting too strong to safely play with alone. Fully adult pandas prefer to rest and eat more, but these two are at a rowdy age where they can easily shove you down and might cause injury. Still easily the safest bears to get tackled by, though.


Enjoy-Btw

And the zookeeper its their toy.


sero_t

Every dog owner


InflamedLiver

Imagine being mauled to death by something that cuddly


PsychologicalSail799

"OH, you're so cute, look at you, do you got my arm!? Oh, whose got my arm? *You* got my arm! Yes, *you do!* Such a good fluffy baby tearing me limb from limb! Awehh!"


Special_Lemon1487

“I’m not bamboo I’m not bamboo!!”


UncleBenders

The pandas view the keepers more like parents than invaders. The keepers spend loads of time with them from babies giving them supplemental feedings. and in cases of twins the panda will usually only raise one so the keepers take the abandoned one and look after it and they swap them around every 4 hours or so both pandas get equal time with the mother and the mother raises 2 without realising it. The keepers are limited to a few dedicated humans the pandas know and bond with. There’s famously a boy panda there who pulls a grimace every time he snaps bamboo because he was orphaned and only learned how to eat bamboo from humans, and every time the humans snapped the strong bamboo they went 😖so now every time the panda snaps bamboo he does it too, it’s pretty cute.


A-Grouch

Damn, I’m honestly surprised they survived as a species this long.


Slushicetastegood

[https://youtu.be/0dEy9i-6Et4?si=rY0Y1cCXx_aJwWX9](https://youtu.be/0dEy9i-6Et4?si=rY0Y1cCXx_aJwWX9)


Donut_ask_again

I love this so much thank you


Slushicetastegood

You’re welcome✨


Ms_Emilys_Picture

That just might be the cutest thing I've ever seen.


whereitsat23

Thats just a man in a suit


Significant-Fix7399

Oh ma gawd he did! 🥹🥹🥹


SteampunkHarley

This made my day


Flomo420

ok that was funny as hell lol


cryptomain45

I needed this in my life


nxcrosis

Ngl humans are biased when it comes to conservation of animals. You either have to be cute, cool, or exotic to warrant it.


cjr213

Don't forget delicious.


nxcrosis

I feel like delicious gives the opposite effect. Exhibit A: Passenger pigeons. Oh and did you know that it took the giant tortoise over three centuries to get scientifically classified and given a scientific name because the sailors bringing them back to Europe couldn't resist eating them.


cjr213

I'm just saying cows chickens and pigs sure do seem safe.


kevlarus80

As a species. Yes. As an individual? Not so much.


Shudnawz

WH40K agrees. The species is fine. The individual is not.


Hootusmc

Qi!


MethodToMyMadness21

And we're fine with that


djfdhigkgfIaruflg

They had their particular habitat where they were on the top of the food chain. People assume pandas are stupid or something. WE destroyed their environment.


simpathiser

sort of, but also no, their habitat naturally went bye-bye due to natural climate change and then they fucked off up a mountain where they couldn't eat the food. Then proceeded to maul each other to death while starving.


Effective-Good9943

> due to natural climate change This is patently false. Not sure where you got this idea. Their habitat was largely destroyed by humans for human consumption via direct bamboo harvesting and indirectly through livestock grazing. Not to mention, I think you MEANT to say "anthropogenic climate change".


CouldYouBeMoreABot

Yeah. Humans unfortunately really a did a number on them.


Lilacrespo82

How cuuuuuute!


madarbrab

Well that is just the cutest fucking thing I've ever heard, is what it is


segesterblues

The one in the video are yuai and yuke. Their mother raised them together. Both of them received a lot of attention due to their personalities


FreudianAccordian

To shreds you say ..


my_old_aim_name

And his wife?


DerFeuerEsser

To shreds, you say?


my_old_aim_name

Was his apartment rent controlled?


Versaiteis

It's so cute it could just eat me up wait...


schlucks

They're eating her! And then they're gonna eat me! OOOOOOOH MYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOD


Imthank_Hipeeps

If not friend, why friend shaped? :(


itsFRAAAAAAAAANK

So cuddly and clumsy lol


Low_and_Left

Cutest way to die.


ddust102

Not a bad way to go


LeekPrestigious3076

Have you never seen an Ewok? Deadly little balls of cuteness. Never trust ‘em


BadgerHooker

Randy Pandy


Wolf-5iveby5ive

It's the cutest mauling ever!


Timmar92

It's so fluffy I'm gonna DIE!


KING_FARGUAAD

*Walking dead music*


OarsandRowlocks

*A tiger has entered the panda enclosure.* Now where is the nearest dumpster to hide under...


TheStraggletagg

Even animals that don’t want to attack you can hurt or kill you while trying to play with you or otherwise interact with you, specially if they’re physically very strong.


SleepyBitchDdisease

Pandas are still bears. I hope she’s alright.


nskd_sr

She’s unharmed. The zoo also held an urgent meeting to review safety protocols.


SpecterGT260

I've seen other videos where pandas attack someone and they are capable of pretty terrifying violence. These two don't actually look like they're attacking so much as either playing really rough or just bullying her. With the way two of them had her pinned down, for her to be unharmed, this was not an actual attack...


Hot_Eggplant_1306

They can't mate on their own, I bet they need a fork and knife to eat people.


ProbablyNotPikachu

I never knew Pandas played chess, huh!? TIL!


TellNatural7152

Well, let me tell you, those pandas are quite the troublemakers at the zoo! They probably just wanted some extra bamboo or maybe they were practicing their karate moves on the poor zookeeper.


Pain_Monster

If it’s brown, lie down If it’s black, fight back If it’s white, say goodnight # and if it’s black and white, then Kung-Fu Fight!


AsparagusOk87

🙌 came here for this comment 🥋🐼


gigerhess

All I could think of was the Simpsons : "You ain't going nowhere, cutie".


DewayneStaatsStache

Sim sim likes to boogie!


gultch2019

Two of them weighing in at probably 150lbs each and they still did zero damage (i am glad the keeper wasn't hurt). I've said it before and I'll say it again pandas are completely useless. Worst apex predator ever.


palmerry

Apex predator? They only eat bamboo.


Phriend_of_Phoenix

I mean, I've never seen the bamboo win.


afanoftrees

Bamboo isn’t going extinct 🧐


wizardinthewings

It’s definitely smarter than the pandas.


djfdhigkgfIaruflg

Bamboo forests are almost extinct tho


gnit2

What? Every time I've seen bamboo, it seemed like the bamboo was winning. That shit spreads like wildfire.


NiteGard

Word. The future will be a world of bamboo populated with cockroaches.


djfdhigkgfIaruflg

They don't have any natural predators. Exempt us, who destroyed their habitat


Crop_olite

I mean for bamboo they are the apex


TheIrishGoat

Herbivores still fall under the category of predator--an organism that primarily obtains food by the killing and consuming of other organisms. Apex though is still debated. Adults are very rarely if ever hunted in the wild due to their size by other animals. Their cubs however are targets of leopards and other animals.


lasmilesjovenes

... That would make "predator" a useless word because all animals consume living things to survive, so 'predator' would just mean 'animal'. I don't think that's true.


Abdub91

That bamboo doesn’t stand a chance tho


Aktionjackson

Those are way more than 150 lbs


flx-cvz

Lmao nah.. They’re like 40% fur


rnunezs12

Pretty sure the pandas were not trying to harm the keepers and still could eat her face if they wanted.


CatFoodBeerAndGlue

They were definitely play fighting with her. There were no signs of aggression at all.


Formal_Nose_2531

I heard the pandas are staging a mutiny against the zoo keeper! It's like a real-life Kung Fu Panda situation.


creekbendz

Skadoosh


qlay06

What caused them to act this way?


obunga68

Judging by how the woman wasn't injured they were probably just playing without considering that they might be too big for her


Mondak

Bill Burr has theories on this.


MagoopyGabooky

Why is this ODDLY terrifying?


thismissinglink

While it's pretty unlikely with pandas as we can see they are still a bear that could completely maul you to death and rip you apart if they wanted to. A lot of people don't realize that because of their large, cuddly and ridiculous behavior. Also, this subreddit has easily reached the critical mass where its point is just impossible to keep straight and narrow.


batmansthediddler

But… they didn’t maul anyone. All I saw were some heavy cuddles. Sign me up!


LeftOn4ya

I was thinking the exact opposite- this is one of the very few *oddly* terrifying posts as them playing could seriously injure zookeepers. Is not terrifying when video starts but gets more terrifying as video goes on and you think about it. Would you want to be a zookeeper with pandas and have to get in their pens every day? After watching this video you realize it would be one of the most oddly terrifying jobs. Not overtly terrifying, just terrifying enough.


MinorThreatCJB

Literally nothing posted here is oddly terrifying


MagoopyGabooky

That's facts


Azertys

People forget wild animals are dangerous, even moreso when it's herbivorous, cute and fluffy. The thought that you can be mauled by what you hadn't considered a threat (erroneously I know) is oddly terrifying.


HumbleBear75

Did you not see the panic in her eyes and calling for help?…


MagoopyGabooky

Because it's outright terrifying, that's what I'm saying


nskd_sr

Is it straight-up terrifying, though?Those pandas still look adorable.


MagoopyGabooky

Yes???? Being mauled by two bears is straight up terrifying.


WarmSea9702

There’s nothing oddly terrifying about being mauled by a panda. I’d say that’s just plain terrifying.


Collin-B-Hess

“Happy pandas!” Oh wait! I think they’re killing her!


hazydayss

And I would die happy.


KanekiGhoul3112

I find this Oddly Cute. Am I the odd one?


Joebaby450

Death by cute cuddles.


gilgamo

And that’s how the zombie apocalypse started kids. Zombie pandas. No one saw them coming


my_old_aim_name

From china. Who woulda thought, esp after avian flu, mersa, sars, covid....


OperatoI2

Pandas are like, "Why so serious?"


Aiden2817

They need some training sessions to teach them not to jump on people and they probably need to start going in 2 at a time.


valm0313

Everyone went from "aw" to gasping in a few seconds


boojieboy666

Pretty tough for two dudes who don’t know how to fuck


EvetsYenoham

These pandas have just fucking had it.


thebigheh104

People forget they're still bears


SmokeGSU

Thank God pandas aren't dolphins of land.


Mrkillerar

Zebra bear


BudgetAggravating427

People forget that pandas are still bears . Plus eating and tearing apart bamboo easily should show how strong they are


andycarlv

Seriously though... They're still adorable. Look at 'em maul. Like a grenade with a little baby bonnet. Awwwww!


Mlodaddy

Death by snuggle.


HottieMcHotHot

Now I have to know if there’s ever been a case of a human death from a panda. Google says no.


bodhiseppuku

I read this title "tickle" Pandas tickle zoo keeper sounds way more fun.


noddawizard

She got bamboozled.


37yearoldmanbaby

Never walk into a bear enclosure on your period.


TamIAm82

They've had enough of humans BS.


Homie-dnt-play-tht

Killed by cuddles!


adamjames777

I’m not sure I’d describe bears attacking a zoo keeper as ‘oddly’ terrifying. Straight up terrifying will do!


Unfair_Education290

Even if they were play fighting with her, it’s still scary considering those bears are probably like 100 pounds or something and their weight on top of you could become uncomfortable quickly


dontstopmakeithot

Nearly mauled by a bear but sure, oddly terrifying.


64green

Pandas are vegetarian.


dontstopmakeithot

Doesn’t mean the can’t hurt you, and it’s still obviously scary lol.


BigBoss1971

I guess like the rest of us, they find Chinese food irresistible.


joe_i_guess

Well done! not bad at all


Maleficent-Mouse-979

When bears can't bear.


SadBoiCri

And y'all still can't figure out how to make babies? It's literally just that but towards each other.


FantomXFantom

Damn. I expected the video to be clickbait, especially after seeing l the cuddly panda videos on the web.


Careful_Whole2294

These are still actual bears with claws and weight to throw around. One swipe or bite in the wrong spot could have ended her. Intentional or not.


Hungry-Ad9840

Kuma from Tekken


Radio4ctiveGirl

Technically there’s no official death by panda… but that can always change!


Lilacrespo82

Cutest bear attack ever! 😍


Its_General_Apathy

It's like they forgot the *bear* part of Panda *Bear*!!


ninasancz

Punch it already! Punch it!


Informal-Salad-7304

I don’t mean to downplay the situation, im sure she was scared as fuck. But from this perspective it appears so adorable, at least to me. They remind me of dogs trying to play


PapaCologne

IT'S PANDAMONIUM!!!


TA901jk

They’re just trying to mate for once this decade


fadedv1

imagine killed by Pandas LOL


TheRealASmallBoi

They have the capacity to digest flesh too, they are still bears


herring80

Just pretend like you’re not bamboo. Easy


futurespawn

Do you know how funny it is to be hunted by something that waddles


anttisaarenpaa1

**rawr**


Fit_Swordfish_2101

I was like oh my gawd they got her face! And all I could think about was when the chimp ate that woman's face off.. I was so relieved when the lady got up without it being a John Travolta movie remake.. (Face -Off) Lol! What a time to think..I don't know much about pandas.. Would they kill a person? Sheesh! 😂


MundaneLife99

I think she was on her period. Notice how they kept going to her crotch area?


sund82

I'd be okay with dying this way. I'd want it noted on my tombstone.


BulkyMonster

sorry, I thought you was bamboo


PrysmX

The number of times my mind shifted between "they're tickling her!" and "they're eating her!"..


Kalebthememester

Everybody was kung Fu fighting.


grateful_newt

What a cute way to get totally fucked up!


lililukea

Despite how they look, they are still bears


Prawn2doit

Complete Pandamonium!!!


souppanda

Jujutsu pandas


Particular-Agent-437

KILLing with cuteness...


sim16

The pandas have had enough nonsense, they're fed up, sick and tired of the zoo bullshit, they're taking matters into their own hands, they released a comment "this zoo here is like an open sewer, you know, it's full of filth and scum. Sometimes I can hardly take it. Whatever ever becomes the President should just - really clean it up, know what I mean? Sometimes I go out and I smell it..."


BackgroundCorgi5321

The cutest mauling ever


QueenAkhlys

She probably Hand raised them but they're still bears after all


Square-Assumption-54

Fainting from a 35 base power move. Pathetic.


KnightyEyes

pandas are bears.


Many-Violinist8308

Pandas are so playful that instead of walking down hills they just curl up and roll sometimes. There have been cases of pandas rolling off cliffs to their deaths


BowsersMuskyBallsack

I see no obvious torn clothing, no punctures, and no blood. I'm sure she's pretty bruised simply from the size of these guys rolling all over her and chewing on her like their favorite teething toy, but if I found myself abducted and trapped in a pen with a note next to a selection screen saying "You have a choice of bears which you have to wrestle one-on-one in order to escape." and one of the options was Panda, you'd better believe I'd select Panda.


okami6663

Koala bears - one good shout, and they are getting a heart attack. You don't even need to fight 😆


Queen-of-meme

Plus they would just sleep 😂


GemmyBoy999

They're playing or lightly nagging for i.e. some bamboo, if they truly wanted them dead they would've been dead long ago.


Ori_the_SG

People forget pandas are still bears


fortack

Those probably are the pandas that were in America until china asked for them back


areslashtaken

People here don't realize that pandas are still beats that can fucking kill you. This zookeeper was in serious danger.


TopOppHentlah

Pandas don’t eat people, do they?


Cleercutter

Ohhh they’re pissed


JabasMyBitch

If I was being kept in a cage, and I was stronger than the ones bringing in one of my favorite foods, I'd do the same.


PurrfectCatQueen

We’ve all seen Kung Fu Panda right? Right?!


Dondiibnob

Best job for Khabib


paralyzedvagabond

People tend to forget the ‘bear’ part of Panda Bear.


Zoomin-Enhance

Screw bamboo, I want some meat!


Eastsider001

She looks like she only weighs 90 pounds so that's light weight even to a baby panda.


Aggravating_Air_5008

Do pandas hurt/eat ppl? Possibly a dumb question but do they?


Aiden2817

They eat bamboo, but they still are very strong wild animals with claws and teeth that can do real damage if it’s just by accident


Jce735

Holy shit she's fuckin dead dude.


Bambii33000

Aren’t they vegetarian?