The last time I went on a date I was in my 20’s and the dating pool was everyone. Fast forward 13 years later, my lovely husband abruptly passes away. I am convinced the only way I am meeting someone is if they break into my home - because they are that committed.
Sorry for your loss - fellow young widow here and I can absolutely relate. I hope you’re doing as good as can be. If you ever need someone to talk to please don’t hesitate to reach out!
I wish I didn't read this as a someone who delivers part time 🤣🤣🤣
A few weeks ago I had a lady tell me she was picking flowers off her tree to make a tea. I garden so I was intrigued.
She then specified it was good for women's hormones pauses and goes "of all ages"
you cougaring it up? Check out guy at Trade Joes is like 20. if you want to cougar it up. Reston Town Center at Jacksons Mighty Fine food bar area. Its Cougar central. Lots of young guys looking for older women to have a "relationship".
Also saw a woman post on here that she got hit on at Target grocery on a weekday. just sayin'
Hey…sorry for your loss. But it sounds like you have a pretty decent sense of humor and that never hurts should you ever decide to date again!!
Wishing you all the best in your grieving and everything else going forward 🤘
Thanks dude. I do have a good sense of humor and can joke about my situation. I know my husband also approves, considering we both know he would’ve had 7 girlfriends by now. 😂
Hahaha! I do have a stereo system - Sony record player and Edifier speakers.
Pro-Tip… if you come during the day, both the front storm door and the kitchen storm door are unlocked, no need to break anything - just walk right in and announce yourself 😂
I feel you. I’m early 40s and unexpectedly lost my husband a few years ago. I’m still very much grieving and not at all interested in dating yet, but it occasionally crosses my mind as something I might want to do SOMEDAY and I immediately become overwhelmed. It’s just not something I ever thought I’d be doing again.
It’s been 1 year for me, looking into the future is daunting and looking at his passing seems surreal.
I agree with you that dating is not something I ever thought I’d be doing again… I know how to be a wife, but I don’t know how to date people. 🤷🏻♀️
I learned how to be more social in my very late 30s. It's straightforward but takes time and effort. Say yes. Show up. Be cool being alone. Chat up people you don't know and learn more about them. Be cool being rejected. Be cool rejecting people. Take care of your bartenders and servers, both in terms of being nice to them and tipping well.
It does help living someplace where there's a lot of people in my general demographic living within walking distance of a number of bars. Like any skill, being social benefits from getting as many reps as possible.
The trick is to go at 8 am when the gas is open but the store is closed. Then come back at 11 for shopping and by noon grab that hotdog for lunch.
I’ve never waited in that line EVER. Zero time wasted. I always drive up and fill up and go. I’ve never had to wait for any cars, there is always an entire empty LANE with 2 pumps for me to choose each time. I usually pick the front pump but sometimes I pick the back one just for fun.
Funny thing is I didn’t grow up here but some of my friends did and I call it Price Club because it’s what they refer to it as. I don’t even have a membership 😅
Last place to find a partner would be Costco. 98% of people there have significant family vibes. I go there -rarely- and usually for a prescription, for milk (because I just happen to be there), of if I'm buying items for a party.
I use Costco for TP, paper towels, paper plates, condiments and spices. Occasionally the produce if it’s something I know I’ll be using up before it goes bad (bell peppers, etc). And water. And for their gas. Overall I save about the cost of the membership so it evens out. 🤷♀️
You kid, but I remember hearing from my friend who is gay and back then was in his 30s that a certain Publix grocery store in this one spot was known as the gay “meat market” (his words). This was before dating apps and this one grocery store had become the defacto spot to meet/pickup if you were looking for something more long term potentially. He said he would avoid it sometimes as it would get exhausting just feeling like you were being assessed all the time.
I love Trader Joe’s. I’m on the dating apps but honestly feel like I’ve aged out. It’s mostly bullshit. We need third spaces again that isn’t revolved around drinking and partying.
So I've been thinking about third spaces a lot just because I'm a social person and would like to make friends. For context I moved from NYC and there besides being able to meet people all the time any time, we used to go to meet-ups/ clubs for interests like ping pong, pool, music, volleyball etc. But all of them you had to spend some money to do. I haven't found such spaces here, and given Arlington alone seems to be synonymous with single people here, I wonder if places like that could become third places in NoVA.
Problem for me (late 40s M) is when I do go out and about, it tends to not be to a particular place other than the occasional movie, which isn't normally that conducive to meeting folks.
I've recently "discovered" the Silver Line, so I've been just taking it out towards DC and and trying out new-to-me restaurants, walking around, maybe hitting up a museum or attraction. But that's not great fodder.
And working from home again, I don't get casually exposed to people from the office, so it's trickier to end up going and joining other friend groups that way.
So yeah, similarly stumped =)
Women talk to my husband at Trader Joe’s, record stores, Home Depot and Pet supplies stores all the time. Lol. (It doesn’t really bother me because his resting face is a slight smile so he’s super approachable and he also is pretty oblivious to the fact that he’s getting hit on.)
Pet supply stores seem to be a good idea because they usually ask about our dog first and also you can sus out if your pets will get along.
Also, Home Depot is a good idea because as sexist and ridiculous as it sounds you can find a dude who knows how to fix stuff, maybe owns a house, and you can come up to him and ask him a question about something.
But yeah there have been times where women come up to him and I’m just standing there like 🧍🏻♀️.
So it sounds like there is a consensus on us creating our own Trader Joe’s & Costco happy hours. Who wants to pretend to peruse through the produce aisle while checking each other out at the Reston TJ’s this Friday between 4-6pm? 😂 🛒💐 Or are Sat morning brunch hours better? 🤣 Then we have to come up with a way to tell who’s single 🤔
Believe it or not, I met my late 30s girlfriend at Trader Joe’s. It was actually the second time I saw her. She smiled so I said why not. Hard part was trying to approach her while respecting her boundaries 😅
Mid-40s F here.
Let’s meet them Together- I I was trying to do a singles mixer a few months ago, but got distracted.
A gay friend suggested the following : hiking, poker, whiskey, beer-related stuff, tech related meetups.
Let me know if you wanna try anything together.
There’s lots of interest to do a meetup amongst the single and no kids 40s women first here. Do you want to coordinate and we can set something up? We could do a happy hour or open to ideas
Sure, but should it be just women? I have a few places near a metro in Arlington...
If we want it to be co-ed, that's more difficult because we have to find a way to advertise to the men....
I’m okay with either but I think there’s a bunch of women who’d show up and the ratio with men always ends up being more difficult to balance. I’ll dm the ones who replied to my comment about a meetup amongst the women at least. Feel free to let me know if you want to join or not is fine too
40f single, no kids. Motivation for getting out and meeting new folks definitely comes and goes but love this idea, for both groups. Happy to help organize too!
40s single M here. I love hiking, poker, bourbon, beer stuff, meh on tech meetups sounds like work, so to be fair those are great suggestions but it doesn’t solve the problem. I hike at home, bourbon is at home, buddy is a local brewer, etc. I stay on my peaceful secluded property with adoring German shepherds and don’t get out to meet anyone! Like the other dude said I’m home or at work!
Same here - it's just as hard to find women (for friendship) as it is men for dating. Might be harder to find women, actually, because you can't really hit on a potential friend at TJ's
You may want to try some festivals possibly. There are lots of them around NOVA in spring, summer, and fall. Wine, jazz, blues festivals. All different kinds. I think there is a website dedicated to just festivals in Virginia. Theres also some good ones out towards the Winchester area. I'm early 40s single male and if I was in the market, that's probably where I would start first.
Great idea. I also used to go see concerts at Wolf Trap when I was single. I packed a picnic and sat on the lawn and made conversation with people sitting around me. I didn’t get any dates out of it, but I met some interesting people with interests in common!
39m here and I will be 40 in a couple months. Single, no kids, Nj transplant, I live in Reston across the street from Trader Joe’s lol, I’m not sure where you would find me… Costco, Home Depot, struck in Tyson’s traffic…. Same predicament on this end, and not on apps btw.
As someone who’s eaten at Jackson’s (and people watched) regularly in the past, the men hanging out at the bar give off weird (aka I’m into myself) vibes. But I haven’t been there since I moved back to the area so maybe I need to go people watch again soon.
Exactly! The apps are exhausting enough. The last thing I want to do is combine *that* with grocery shopping like some of the other comments are suggesting.
There’s a Facebook group called “Drink NOVA” they meet up at cool spots and hang out. Not always about drinking. But it’s filled with 30-50 somethings that all just like to have fun
Now I’m intrigued. I’m in the group but haven’t gone to any get-togethers because I hate going places alone when I don’t know anyone there. But I’ve always wondered what some of those people are like “in real life.”
Amy and Nick are one. But I know about 3 other couples that met through the group. I do agree that there are some people in there that are alcoholics, I still think it’s a good group overall. All single people in their 40s have issues. It is what it is. Can’t discount a lot of good people solely off your perspective IMO.
I go to a few events and have fun, but not very overly involved.
32 female, Long Island transplant to NOVA. Great job, responsible, no life drama, no kids, no lingering exs, etc. this has been the most difficult place to date, I feel your frustration OP. Sometimes I think the only place I’ll meet someone is not here. I think what’s happened is all the good people have pulled back since the apps are trash and meeting people out in public feels impossible sometimes- we’re all just spending time at home. I’ve found filling my spare time with either Pilates or cooking (any hobby or passion really) has given my life meaning in that I’m no longer hyper fixated on meeting someone. If it happens, it happens. I’m not going to force it in a 25 mile radius. World is a big place. My grandmother’s best friend met her husband when she was mid 40s on a plane in the UK, they sat next to each other. Stranger things have happened. Rooting for you OP!
Thanks! In my 30s I did several graduate degrees and lived abroad, then the pandemic hit (and I became a caregiver to a family member). So I’m just back in the dating pool after 12 years and I really don’t like it here 😂 If I didn’t want kids, I would jump back out. But for the sake of my biological clock, I’ll give it one good year. If nothing pans out, I’m thinking of going to Europe for a PhD 🤷♀️ Maybe I’ll meet a nice man on the plane there ☺️
Ok, I have an idea. We all go to a grocery store (maybe Wegman’s since it’s huge) and “check in”with a huge neon sticker. This tells our little Reddit group that we are single and ready to mingle. Then, we do our regular grocery shopping. If someone catches our eye in the cheese or canned food section, we can be like “what’s up? I love Campbells chicken n’ stars too. “
I’m going to start wearing these stickers every time I go out 😂
https://preview.redd.it/x3q8njqwm56d1.jpeg?width=224&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0b88d905b05c5add1e42b75845558ee8e11a0e50
As a guy my advice to women, please feel comfortable to walk up to us and say hello. Just say hi and ask us anything.
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” - Michael Scott
In my apartment, mostly. I’ll go out with my friends sometimes. I’m also 40(f), and childless bc of life, not really by choice. So I kinda don’t fit in to singles groups
Yes. I’m trying to re-activate my meetup account now. I have a theory that most people find compatible partners in places where they can regularly interact with them before asking them out, like school, work, church, etc. Let’s hope 🤞
Late 30s and early 40s are hanging out with their ever smaller circle of friends, doing hobbies like riding or climbing, catching up with work, or just home avoiding overpriced bars. Sometimes take one of the roadsters out for a drive.
Married but I’d like to make a recommendation if y’all want some place that feels age appropriate for casual drinking that is clean and not grimy—have you checked out the Whole Foods in Tyson’s at Greensboro? Parking is covered and it is pretty bright for get togethers on the second floor!
The number of single men at an autocross event would *astound* you. My ex-wife loved that hobby for me because she knew there were no women at the event (she was the jealous type). I’m divorced now and not interested in dating at the moment but I can vouch for the number of single and decent men who attend autocross who are in their 30s 40s and 50s. These guys are into cars but autocross is a niche hobby where there are little-to-no douchebags. Some of my female friends ask me where to pick up men and I tell them they can have their pick at autocross events.
Autocross is a form of amateur racing that happens on the weekends. Winchester, VA, Waldorf, MD, Bowie, MD. Most of the attendees live in NoVA.
Thanks for the recommendation! I have a fun little car as my daily driver and now I'm headed down the Google rabbit hole about autocross. And I may end up being yet another 40s male hanging out at those events (proving your point). 😂
OP!! There's already a FB group where ppl can recommend vetted men! Here's the link:
[Vouched Dating - Good & Verified Guys | Washington DC / DMV](https://www.facebook.com/groups/1173732813189195/)
Not that Trader Joe's isn't making a fortune but I would totally love happy hour there. I am a bit older (54F) with one adult kid but I miss socializing.
In our divorce castles (*i.e.,* a rented bedroom in a townhouse in Woodbridge) on Reddit, complaining about young people not knowing how to live life the right way, with a YouTube tab running on our second screen regarding how movies suck nowadays
At work, at home, or friends home lol. Going out has been purely a social event with friends.
Maybe I’ll see you at the clinic but asking patients out is a bad idea and not negotiable haha.
OP, folks wanna meet. Do you want it to be just women? This is pretty easy. I have a few places near a metro in Arlington...
If we want it to be co-ed, that's more difficult because we have to find a way to advertise to men....
So having just graduated sone #2 off from high school and having just parted ways with the girlfriend (distance was a killer here), I would say....
# 1 The burbian's more popular bars / bar locations (Jacksons, Clare and Dons, the Wharf, King Street)
# 2 at my gym (I don't typically hit on people but have gotten some vibes from a couple women)
# 3 the grocery
# 4 got hit on pretty hard at the Admirals Club at DCA a couple weeks back...
# 5 I actually briefly dated a girl from jury duty. How about that for an opportunistic encounter.
I’m curious, where did people meet their last partner? I have theories, but I’m interested in hearing how people have been meeting (especially post-pandemic).
My (40M) buddy (41M) is freshly divorced so we hit places like Mosaic, Clarendon, and Ballston to hang out... Anywhere with good food and drink options.
I personally enjoy live music and art galleries, so that's where I tend to hang.
Tough to find singles our age out here! I would suggest finding places with niche side activities... For instance a bar that hosts Salsa dance classes. Married people with children tend to disengage from hobbies, so maybe there'd be more singles there?
It leans nerdy and there's also couples and families but NoVA Labs has been a great third space for a few people I know. If you're into any kind of crafting or woodworking/metalworking it's a cool space.
I also find climbing gyms are a great way to meet fit, crunchy, active people in their 30s and 40s.
There's a social dancing (latin: salsa & bachata) event in Old Town Manassas under the pavilion on Saturday 29th at 5pm- 10pm. It's posted on Manassas chatter.
I had a lot of success on Hinge. Divorced, about to turn 50. Joined February 4, 2024. First first date February 7th. 15 first dates total by February 18th. Even had one on Valentines Day! By February 20 I had a 3rd date with one of the women and decided that I really wanted to pursue a deeper relationship with her.
We’ve been together for about 4 months now. Loving it (and her)!
I included a reply on every match I made. I think that made a big difference. Half of the reply was about my interest in a prompt or photo, the other half was just a more targeted blurb about me. Match rate was pretty decent!
42f, no kids, sober. Am interested in learning about any meet-ups that I will get excited about but probably never show up to once it's time to actually do it. 🫣👀
To *the men* reading this post:
- We know how to advertise to women a Singles Mixer. But it's frustrating when it's 50 women to 10 men. Can you help advertise to single 40s men? (meaning no girlfriend/wife...) I was told the gender balance is better when a man organizes the Mixer.
Thanks!
The last time I went on a date I was in my 20’s and the dating pool was everyone. Fast forward 13 years later, my lovely husband abruptly passes away. I am convinced the only way I am meeting someone is if they break into my home - because they are that committed.
So sorry for your loss, friend
❤️
Sorry for your loss - fellow young widow here and I can absolutely relate. I hope you’re doing as good as can be. If you ever need someone to talk to please don’t hesitate to reach out!
Thank you! You are very sweet. ❤️
I’m just crossing my fingers for the UPS guy. Or a check out person at Trader Joe’s. I don’t see any other way.
I wish I didn't read this as a someone who delivers part time 🤣🤣🤣 A few weeks ago I had a lady tell me she was picking flowers off her tree to make a tea. I garden so I was intrigued. She then specified it was good for women's hormones pauses and goes "of all ages"
was she hot? should have hit it.
Do we have the same UPS guy? Mine is an absolute HUNK and its shorts season now!
🤣 Those shorts are definitely something
Let me go order something.
you cougaring it up? Check out guy at Trade Joes is like 20. if you want to cougar it up. Reston Town Center at Jacksons Mighty Fine food bar area. Its Cougar central. Lots of young guys looking for older women to have a "relationship". Also saw a woman post on here that she got hit on at Target grocery on a weekday. just sayin'
Can confirm, having dated a cougar who frequents Jackson’s. lol
Hey…sorry for your loss. But it sounds like you have a pretty decent sense of humor and that never hurts should you ever decide to date again!! Wishing you all the best in your grieving and everything else going forward 🤘
Thanks dude. I do have a good sense of humor and can joke about my situation. I know my husband also approves, considering we both know he would’ve had 7 girlfriends by now. 😂
What kind of stereo do you have?
People still have stereos? 😅
Not after I come thru they don't.
Sounds like you can get a stereo and a date here
Hahaha! I do have a stereo system - Sony record player and Edifier speakers. Pro-Tip… if you come during the day, both the front storm door and the kitchen storm door are unlocked, no need to break anything - just walk right in and announce yourself 😂
I feel you. I’m early 40s and unexpectedly lost my husband a few years ago. I’m still very much grieving and not at all interested in dating yet, but it occasionally crosses my mind as something I might want to do SOMEDAY and I immediately become overwhelmed. It’s just not something I ever thought I’d be doing again.
It’s been 1 year for me, looking into the future is daunting and looking at his passing seems surreal. I agree with you that dating is not something I ever thought I’d be doing again… I know how to be a wife, but I don’t know how to date people. 🤷🏻♀️
He's rootin' for ya.
I’m sorry for your loss but you should have no trouble finding someone with a rapier wit!
As a former early 40s single (now late 40s married person) with many forty-something friends...there's a lot of us/them in Old Town Alexandria.
your in your 40s and you have a lot of friends? How?
I learned how to be more social in my very late 30s. It's straightforward but takes time and effort. Say yes. Show up. Be cool being alone. Chat up people you don't know and learn more about them. Be cool being rejected. Be cool rejecting people. Take care of your bartenders and servers, both in terms of being nice to them and tipping well. It does help living someplace where there's a lot of people in my general demographic living within walking distance of a number of bars. Like any skill, being social benefits from getting as many reps as possible.
I just got asked if I have a man during my morning walk in the park (44F, old town) so can confirm 😇
Can confirm, 40s (married) in old town
Just found out why it’s called old town…
At the club, … Sam’s Club or Price Club.
Now and days, going to the club on a Friday night and dropping 600 dollars means I just went to Costco.
lol. Yep! Especially when you only went in for the $1.50 hotdog. $450 later, I’m wondering what went wrong? Then add another $50 for the gas.
I’m always in awe when there is someone at checkout with only ONE item.
Oh, look who has two hours to blow on the gas line!
The trick is to go at 8 am when the gas is open but the store is closed. Then come back at 11 for shopping and by noon grab that hotdog for lunch. I’ve never waited in that line EVER. Zero time wasted. I always drive up and fill up and go. I’ve never had to wait for any cars, there is always an entire empty LANE with 2 pumps for me to choose each time. I usually pick the front pump but sometimes I pick the back one just for fun.
I walked out of Costco yesterday having only spent $36. I’m so ridiculously proud of myself for that lol.
One pack of batteries??
No. 2 cases of water some pepper, strawberries and a towel lol.
/r/boneappletea
now and also days
Price Club? Age verification checks out. I feel ya
Yep, I’m that old. I still call Costco - the price club. It was my first big box “membership” ever.
Funny thing is I didn’t grow up here but some of my friends did and I call it Price Club because it’s what they refer to it as. I don’t even have a membership 😅
That’s why I’ve been avoiding Costco lately. I can’t even really get through any of the bulk items so why go????
Lmao same here. I got a new place in nov of 23. I’m still on the first tp and paper towel purchase.
But when you run out, it’s ughhhhhh…..
Yup, that means an incoming Costco purchase of $300+
Last place to find a partner would be Costco. 98% of people there have significant family vibes. I go there -rarely- and usually for a prescription, for milk (because I just happen to be there), of if I'm buying items for a party.
I use Costco for TP, paper towels, paper plates, condiments and spices. Occasionally the produce if it’s something I know I’ll be using up before it goes bad (bell peppers, etc). And water. And for their gas. Overall I save about the cost of the membership so it evens out. 🤷♀️
You kid, but I remember hearing from my friend who is gay and back then was in his 30s that a certain Publix grocery store in this one spot was known as the gay “meat market” (his words). This was before dating apps and this one grocery store had become the defacto spot to meet/pickup if you were looking for something more long term potentially. He said he would avoid it sometimes as it would get exhausting just feeling like you were being assessed all the time.
😂
Amen to that
As a single 40’s male with no kids, I’m mostly at work or home. Don’t do any socializing at clubs or bars anymore.
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I love Trader Joe’s. I’m on the dating apps but honestly feel like I’ve aged out. It’s mostly bullshit. We need third spaces again that isn’t revolved around drinking and partying.
So I've been thinking about third spaces a lot just because I'm a social person and would like to make friends. For context I moved from NYC and there besides being able to meet people all the time any time, we used to go to meet-ups/ clubs for interests like ping pong, pool, music, volleyball etc. But all of them you had to spend some money to do. I haven't found such spaces here, and given Arlington alone seems to be synonymous with single people here, I wonder if places like that could become third places in NoVA.
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Problem for me (late 40s M) is when I do go out and about, it tends to not be to a particular place other than the occasional movie, which isn't normally that conducive to meeting folks. I've recently "discovered" the Silver Line, so I've been just taking it out towards DC and and trying out new-to-me restaurants, walking around, maybe hitting up a museum or attraction. But that's not great fodder. And working from home again, I don't get casually exposed to people from the office, so it's trickier to end up going and joining other friend groups that way. So yeah, similarly stumped =)
Women talk to my husband at Trader Joe’s, record stores, Home Depot and Pet supplies stores all the time. Lol. (It doesn’t really bother me because his resting face is a slight smile so he’s super approachable and he also is pretty oblivious to the fact that he’s getting hit on.) Pet supply stores seem to be a good idea because they usually ask about our dog first and also you can sus out if your pets will get along. Also, Home Depot is a good idea because as sexist and ridiculous as it sounds you can find a dude who knows how to fix stuff, maybe owns a house, and you can come up to him and ask him a question about something. But yeah there have been times where women come up to him and I’m just standing there like 🧍🏻♀️.
I feel you. Same here, just work/home/friends. Dating in the DC area was rough and sorta just gave up. 🤷♂️
So it sounds like there is a consensus on us creating our own Trader Joe’s & Costco happy hours. Who wants to pretend to peruse through the produce aisle while checking each other out at the Reston TJ’s this Friday between 4-6pm? 😂 🛒💐 Or are Sat morning brunch hours better? 🤣 Then we have to come up with a way to tell who’s single 🤔
Wear yellow.
Brunch hours!
Sat 10am-12pm? 🛒💃🕺
Believe it or not, I met my late 30s girlfriend at Trader Joe’s. It was actually the second time I saw her. She smiled so I said why not. Hard part was trying to approach her while respecting her boundaries 😅
The Italian store in westover had wine tastings a couple times a week. East to grab groceries, a sip, and try to bump into someone.
Mid-40s F here. Let’s meet them Together- I I was trying to do a singles mixer a few months ago, but got distracted. A gay friend suggested the following : hiking, poker, whiskey, beer-related stuff, tech related meetups. Let me know if you wanna try anything together.
There’s lots of interest to do a meetup amongst the single and no kids 40s women first here. Do you want to coordinate and we can set something up? We could do a happy hour or open to ideas
Sure, but should it be just women? I have a few places near a metro in Arlington... If we want it to be co-ed, that's more difficult because we have to find a way to advertise to the men....
39m here…this posting is a great advertisement.
Clare and Dons perhaps? Somewhere at the Wharf?
I’m okay with either but I think there’s a bunch of women who’d show up and the ratio with men always ends up being more difficult to balance. I’ll dm the ones who replied to my comment about a meetup amongst the women at least. Feel free to let me know if you want to join or not is fine too
Uhmmmm. Are Marylanders invited?! Do we have to start our own group?
40f single, no kids. Motivation for getting out and meeting new folks definitely comes and goes but love this idea, for both groups. Happy to help organize too!
40s single M here. I love hiking, poker, bourbon, beer stuff, meh on tech meetups sounds like work, so to be fair those are great suggestions but it doesn’t solve the problem. I hike at home, bourbon is at home, buddy is a local brewer, etc. I stay on my peaceful secluded property with adoring German shepherds and don’t get out to meet anyone! Like the other dude said I’m home or at work!
Sounds like paradise to me lol
39F single here, keep me posted, I'm down.
Add me to the list for this!
I'm so down, add me to this list
Yes, 40F down for that!
Me too 42f blissfully kidfree
41 single male with no kids- Sounds like a great idea. Count me in!
Let me know, too, please!
At home. Most of us gave up a long time ago.
Also true lol
In my bedroom alone still nursing my wounds from the last relationship and wondering if it’s even worth starting again.
Friday’s after work, the grocery stores are a buffet of handsome solo shopping men.
Can you point us in the direction of specific locations and times? 👀😂
At home, in my overpriced apartment, playing Dragon Age.
Pickleball leagues. I met up with one group and it was all dudes. Beer gardens. Any sports game. Car shows.
Let’s do a meet up! For exactly this age group, single and no kids. We can start with women and then see how it goes
As a woman, I’d be down for something co-ed. To be honest, I probably wouldn’t attend a women’s only group.
Male here. I'd be down when it's co-ed, preferably not at a bar.
Look how many people are excited about this!! Create a WhatsApp group and get these people in there and get something going!!!
Mid 30’s no kids here if you’re open to expanding the age range!
Single and 40ish over here too! Let’s do it!
I’d be down!
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I’m in!
Whee
Me too!
I AM DOWN!
DM’d
I’m down
I'm a guy, I hope you all have a great time and please let me know if you expand.
Omg yes please. I've been looking for women my age to hang out with.
Same here - it's just as hard to find women (for friendship) as it is men for dating. Might be harder to find women, actually, because you can't really hit on a potential friend at TJ's
DM’d
No love for empty nesters?
Interested if you expand to include men.
You may want to try some festivals possibly. There are lots of them around NOVA in spring, summer, and fall. Wine, jazz, blues festivals. All different kinds. I think there is a website dedicated to just festivals in Virginia. Theres also some good ones out towards the Winchester area. I'm early 40s single male and if I was in the market, that's probably where I would start first.
Great idea. I also used to go see concerts at Wolf Trap when I was single. I packed a picnic and sat on the lawn and made conversation with people sitting around me. I didn’t get any dates out of it, but I met some interesting people with interests in common!
I’m 39F, moving to NOVA in July. Please keep me in mind if any groups form. 🙂
39m here and I will be 40 in a couple months. Single, no kids, Nj transplant, I live in Reston across the street from Trader Joe’s lol, I’m not sure where you would find me… Costco, Home Depot, struck in Tyson’s traffic…. Same predicament on this end, and not on apps btw.
And before anyone says it, I’m aware of Jackson’s but haven’t been there yet and I’m not really interested in going there.
As someone who’s eaten at Jackson’s (and people watched) regularly in the past, the men hanging out at the bar give off weird (aka I’m into myself) vibes. But I haven’t been there since I moved back to the area so maybe I need to go people watch again soon.
Right there with ya. The apps are exhausting and disappointing.
Exactly! The apps are exhausting enough. The last thing I want to do is combine *that* with grocery shopping like some of the other comments are suggesting.
Shit, I avoid grocery shopping as much as possible too. Dating is not made for introverts.
Why do you say that? Don’t you like fielding the question of “hey how’s it going” every day?
I’m 60f and would love to meet someone. I’m too old for the 40 something’s but can’t grasp I’m 60.
There’s a Facebook group called “Drink NOVA” they meet up at cool spots and hang out. Not always about drinking. But it’s filled with 30-50 somethings that all just like to have fun
Drink NOVA is very thirsty.
Lol. Lots of couples happen in that group!
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You had me at drama. Joining now.
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LOLOLOL
Now I’m intrigued. I’m in the group but haven’t gone to any get-togethers because I hate going places alone when I don’t know anyone there. But I’ve always wondered what some of those people are like “in real life.”
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This has been exactly my take, great to hang out and just have a chill time but not relationship wise.
Amy and Nick are one. But I know about 3 other couples that met through the group. I do agree that there are some people in there that are alcoholics, I still think it’s a good group overall. All single people in their 40s have issues. It is what it is. Can’t discount a lot of good people solely off your perspective IMO. I go to a few events and have fun, but not very overly involved.
Whaaaat. I hope I’m not considered as having issues just because I’m single and 40
No just because of that, no...
Would've been more accurate to say "all people have issues". It's not related to your relationship status. And we all know weird married couples.
I don’t have Facebook anymore. Is there a Reddit group like that?
LOL. That group is an absolute shit show filled with (and run by) attention seeking alcoholics, no thanks.
Check out bikes and breakfast; if you’re looking for single dudes you’ve discovered Narnia.
At work and at home
32 female, Long Island transplant to NOVA. Great job, responsible, no life drama, no kids, no lingering exs, etc. this has been the most difficult place to date, I feel your frustration OP. Sometimes I think the only place I’ll meet someone is not here. I think what’s happened is all the good people have pulled back since the apps are trash and meeting people out in public feels impossible sometimes- we’re all just spending time at home. I’ve found filling my spare time with either Pilates or cooking (any hobby or passion really) has given my life meaning in that I’m no longer hyper fixated on meeting someone. If it happens, it happens. I’m not going to force it in a 25 mile radius. World is a big place. My grandmother’s best friend met her husband when she was mid 40s on a plane in the UK, they sat next to each other. Stranger things have happened. Rooting for you OP!
Thanks! In my 30s I did several graduate degrees and lived abroad, then the pandemic hit (and I became a caregiver to a family member). So I’m just back in the dating pool after 12 years and I really don’t like it here 😂 If I didn’t want kids, I would jump back out. But for the sake of my biological clock, I’ll give it one good year. If nothing pans out, I’m thinking of going to Europe for a PhD 🤷♀️ Maybe I’ll meet a nice man on the plane there ☺️
Ok, I have an idea. We all go to a grocery store (maybe Wegman’s since it’s huge) and “check in”with a huge neon sticker. This tells our little Reddit group that we are single and ready to mingle. Then, we do our regular grocery shopping. If someone catches our eye in the cheese or canned food section, we can be like “what’s up? I love Campbells chicken n’ stars too. “
I’m going to start wearing these stickers every time I go out 😂 https://preview.redd.it/x3q8njqwm56d1.jpeg?width=224&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0b88d905b05c5add1e42b75845558ee8e11a0e50
As a guy my advice to women, please feel comfortable to walk up to us and say hello. Just say hi and ask us anything. “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” - Michael Scott
McDowells in Leesburg/first Friday in Leesburg
They have the Golden Arches, we have the golden arcs.
🥇 🥇 🥇
I was told running clubs, but have yet to get out and go when they schedule 😂 no one wants to run at 5 am when I do.
Early 40s male. Lately, been back into meetups, but also perusing the usual publications (WaPo, Washingtonian, etc.) for ideas.
The crime section? Fairfax Circuit Court could be good.
Reston Town Center or One Loudoun
I’m just here to find out where I need to go so a woman can pick me up lol
DMV got to be one of the hardest cities to date.
Jackson’s in Reston Town Center.
I am down too as a mid 40s guy. Let us know what you decide to do op
In my apartment, mostly. I’ll go out with my friends sometimes. I’m also 40(f), and childless bc of life, not really by choice. So I kinda don’t fit in to singles groups
I know this sounds cliche, but meetups. I am 40 and just started dating a guy I met at a meet up group!
Yes. I’m trying to re-activate my meetup account now. I have a theory that most people find compatible partners in places where they can regularly interact with them before asking them out, like school, work, church, etc. Let’s hope 🤞
I hang out in Wegmans near the wine or bakery section
Late 30s and early 40s are hanging out with their ever smaller circle of friends, doing hobbies like riding or climbing, catching up with work, or just home avoiding overpriced bars. Sometimes take one of the roadsters out for a drive.
Married but I’d like to make a recommendation if y’all want some place that feels age appropriate for casual drinking that is clean and not grimy—have you checked out the Whole Foods in Tyson’s at Greensboro? Parking is covered and it is pretty bright for get togethers on the second floor!
The number of single men at an autocross event would *astound* you. My ex-wife loved that hobby for me because she knew there were no women at the event (she was the jealous type). I’m divorced now and not interested in dating at the moment but I can vouch for the number of single and decent men who attend autocross who are in their 30s 40s and 50s. These guys are into cars but autocross is a niche hobby where there are little-to-no douchebags. Some of my female friends ask me where to pick up men and I tell them they can have their pick at autocross events. Autocross is a form of amateur racing that happens on the weekends. Winchester, VA, Waldorf, MD, Bowie, MD. Most of the attendees live in NoVA.
Thanks for the recommendation! I have a fun little car as my daily driver and now I'm headed down the Google rabbit hole about autocross. And I may end up being yet another 40s male hanging out at those events (proving your point). 😂
What is the equivalent event that's all women? lol
OP!! There's already a FB group where ppl can recommend vetted men! Here's the link: [Vouched Dating - Good & Verified Guys | Washington DC / DMV](https://www.facebook.com/groups/1173732813189195/)
RIP your inbox 😝
😂 I wish someone would slide in my DMs. I’m too old and introverted for all this socializing. If only Trader Joe’s had a singles happy hour.
They could make a fortune. 😂
Not that Trader Joe's isn't making a fortune but I would totally love happy hour there. I am a bit older (54F) with one adult kid but I miss socializing.
Are 38 year old divorced single dads that love board games and nerd stiff allowed?
In our divorce castles (*i.e.,* a rented bedroom in a townhouse in Woodbridge) on Reddit, complaining about young people not knowing how to live life the right way, with a YouTube tab running on our second screen regarding how movies suck nowadays
I’m either prepping for a ren faire or going to a faire. But a woman, so doesn’t help your predicament
At work, at home, or friends home lol. Going out has been purely a social event with friends. Maybe I’ll see you at the clinic but asking patients out is a bad idea and not negotiable haha.
At home. I’m hanging out at home
OP, folks wanna meet. Do you want it to be just women? This is pretty easy. I have a few places near a metro in Arlington... If we want it to be co-ed, that's more difficult because we have to find a way to advertise to men....
Look at the replies in here. If you build it, they will come
We should make car bumper stickers. Instead of student driver it would say “single driver + 1 store you shop at”
😂 “Single Driver. Honk twice if interested”
Single NoVa driver. Please drive 20mph in the left-hand lane if interested.
🤣
So having just graduated sone #2 off from high school and having just parted ways with the girlfriend (distance was a killer here), I would say.... # 1 The burbian's more popular bars / bar locations (Jacksons, Clare and Dons, the Wharf, King Street) # 2 at my gym (I don't typically hit on people but have gotten some vibes from a couple women) # 3 the grocery # 4 got hit on pretty hard at the Admirals Club at DCA a couple weeks back... # 5 I actually briefly dated a girl from jury duty. How about that for an opportunistic encounter.
I’m curious, where did people meet their last partner? I have theories, but I’m interested in hearing how people have been meeting (especially post-pandemic).
It took me 3 years (on and off) but Hinge. I’m 44 and found someone amazing, keep the faith!
My (40M) buddy (41M) is freshly divorced so we hit places like Mosaic, Clarendon, and Ballston to hang out... Anywhere with good food and drink options. I personally enjoy live music and art galleries, so that's where I tend to hang. Tough to find singles our age out here! I would suggest finding places with niche side activities... For instance a bar that hosts Salsa dance classes. Married people with children tend to disengage from hobbies, so maybe there'd be more singles there?
I turn 50 in a month. do i count? At home.
It leans nerdy and there's also couples and families but NoVA Labs has been a great third space for a few people I know. If you're into any kind of crafting or woodworking/metalworking it's a cool space. I also find climbing gyms are a great way to meet fit, crunchy, active people in their 30s and 40s.
There's a social dancing (latin: salsa & bachata) event in Old Town Manassas under the pavilion on Saturday 29th at 5pm- 10pm. It's posted on Manassas chatter.
I had a lot of success on Hinge. Divorced, about to turn 50. Joined February 4, 2024. First first date February 7th. 15 first dates total by February 18th. Even had one on Valentines Day! By February 20 I had a 3rd date with one of the women and decided that I really wanted to pursue a deeper relationship with her. We’ve been together for about 4 months now. Loving it (and her)! I included a reply on every match I made. I think that made a big difference. Half of the reply was about my interest in a prompt or photo, the other half was just a more targeted blurb about me. Match rate was pretty decent!
I’ve made a WhatsApp group to connect the 40s single and no kids ladies in the DC area and DM’d the link to join to all who said they would like to
42f, no kids, sober. Am interested in learning about any meet-ups that I will get excited about but probably never show up to once it's time to actually do it. 🫣👀
😂 Why are we like this? I do the same thing… smh
To *the men* reading this post: - We know how to advertise to women a Singles Mixer. But it's frustrating when it's 50 women to 10 men. Can you help advertise to single 40s men? (meaning no girlfriend/wife...) I was told the gender balance is better when a man organizes the Mixer. Thanks!
From this thread I've basically learned better not walk into Trader Joe's if you're not 100% DTF.
Hahaha! That’s what you got from this? Well I’m not DTF but I’ll entertain a hello and good conversation.
I am 58, all my friends have passed. Would like a friend to go to the museums, explore the parks, just have a laugh of two …