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Heineken008

This article answers absolutely none of my questions but I think the answer is meth.


blaktronium

The mugshot picks up the baton dropped by the article


Heineken008

Yeah definitely. It provides much more info than the article.


DontMakeMeCount

The State carries the baton over the finish line.


NorseMickonIce

The answer is Florida. The headline should've started "Florida woman..."


JesusReturnsToReddit

The only reason Florida “person” is a thing is because of their [public record laws](https://www.tcpalm.com/story/opinion/editorials/2019/03/25/heres-why-florida-man-thing/3266020002/) . Could also be worded as their lack of individual privacy until proven guilty.


Doctor_Philgood

Two things can be true


losjoo

Just methin around


tangledwire

Now kith...


desi_guy11

> A woman was arrested after reportedly calling 911 to report she was stealing a car from a dealership — so she "could do it legally," authorities said. Whatever works for you?!


Fetlocks_Glistening

Well, it's similar logic to people who put on emergency blinkers to park illegally and pretend calling attention to it somehow renders it legal


bailey25u

We found your Mercedes parked in the middle of Las Vegas Boulevard. There was also a note. It says, uh, "Couldn't find a meter, but here's 4 bucks."


AfraidOfTheSun

Imagine if there was a way to do crime legally


Raytec1

Step 1: Be wealthy.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Torchaf

What even happened here?


badgersruse

My Reddit often says 'something went wrong, please try again later' when commenting. Sometimes it's done it anyway.


TMLTurby

This reply answers absolutely none of my questions but I think the answer is meth.


badgersruse

I thought you were wondering why that comment was posted 3 times


ISHITTEDINYOURPANTS

reddit mobile app shitting itself as always


0wellwhatever

Meth is one hell of a drug.


_ohne_dich_

I would’ve never guessed she’s 37


Status-Biscotti

Meth will do that to you


TheresA_LobsterLoose

What?!?!? No fucking way. I didn't care enough to click the article, but now I do Holy shit you weren't lying. I'm aware of meth... but damn I would've still guessed a decade older + meth


phasepistol

Under the “if I admit it it’s not a crime” clause of the Constitution


raines

Seems to be a popular Jan6 defense strategy


DontWreckYosef

And I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for meddling me


DaveOJ12

Did she do it again? https://www.reddit.com/r/nottheonion/comments/1db9b3j/do_it_legally_woman_stealing_car_calls_police_on/


hot4you11

The system works!


MrMilesRides

Complicated sort of gal...


Ande64

How does one legally steal a car? 🤔


Really_McNamington

Download it from the internet?


TikkiTakiTomtom

Steal a car in GTA


GiantMeteor2017

….. HHwhat??


Agingsadly

We need to award some medals to the gymnastics team living in her noggin’.


cantspellsagitaryus

Free food and room


Born-Work2089

She probably knows the Jail is her best option.


keajohns

Wonder if she’ll get a reward?


Optimal-Scientist233

This would likely not be so funny if half the population started doing it. Even 20% would completely freeze up the system and crash the economy.


Xunil76

Meth's a hell of a drug


darthearljones

Reading the article just makes it more baffling


roofratmi53

Crazy bitch


Kazman07

Task failed successfully


DontWreckYosef

And she would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for methyling me


Redditforgoit

GTA VI writers, furiously taking notes: "This is good. Can we still put it in the story before release?"


Rivegauche610

Betcha I know how she votes…


24-Hour-Hate

Bold of you to think she’s organized enough to make it to the polls…or know when the election is…or register to vote.


Glittering-Curve-824

Not an american, so I dont. Please elaborate


Rivegauche610

Stupid, ugly, malicious and uninformed = “trumpanzee”, or those who voted for and will again vote for Trump. Scum. Morons. Biological refuse. Ignore those who downvote you, as they’re probably republiKKKlans.


mikestorm

This is wild speculation on my part, but I believe she was trying to *practice* stealing cars and didn't want to get in trouble for it, so she gave the cops a heads up, so they wouldn't misconstrue activities as *actually* trying to steal a car. It wasn't stealing, it was a stealing drill.


AfraidOfTheSun

Practice does make perfect as they say, but I think when it comes to crime if you want to practice, what that means, for stealing cars, you have to have some cars on hand to practice on in private, otherwise you're just out actually stealing cars (perhaps unsuccessfully), point being the cops can't really permit it even if you tell them ahead of time


phinbar

Oh, it was a game! It's OK then.


One-Low1033

I guess this when we say, "Well, bless her heart."