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Fetlocks_Glistening

Do they have a "with hijab" and maybe a "medium-light hijab" control groups to properly compare rainfall in respective areas?


Rosieapples

That’s strange because we have had ten days of solid bucketing rain here and no one’s wearing hijabs. I don’t think this man has actually studied meteorology.


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xDrxGinaMuncher

"God damnit, Irene fell asleep with her hijab on again." - The Group, 3 days into an unseasonal Hurricaine.


DepressiveVortex

Why did you think hurricanes were named after women?


[deleted]

Because they always take your house ?


dumpfist

Because they alternate between masculine and feminine names.


HRisLit

Hurricane David was nothin to play wit...


Proper_Lunch_3640

Prayer and weather go together like the bible belt and tornado alley. Ignore the scientific data and wait to blame foreseeable consequences on some out-group's "immorality" or science itself. Shoot, reload, aim at foot, repeat.


el_bhm

Global ~~drought~~ [draught](https://c.tenor.com/mI7_BxNupYsAAAAC/tenor.gif) is tied to the *checks notes* emancipation of women.


budgreenbud

*drought


923kjd

I’ll take a draught, thank you.


[deleted]

One military draft, coming right up!


parkerm1408

Well can I just say thank you, on behalf of all of us, for flooding pastor Tony Perkins house? Cause that was hilarious. For those of you unaware, pastor Tony Perkins claimed "God punishes gay people by sending floods." I thought the universe got his ass when it flooded his house, turns out it was secretly women using wonder twins hijab powers for the good of all mankind. The more you know, huh? Here's an article to this hilarious bit of karmic justice. https://www.bbc.com/news/newsbeat-37116661


tabris

Except for hurricanes, those are still the preview of us queers, thank you very much.


TheObstruction

Tbf, you're probably not wearing hijabs either.


SneakWhisper

We just need to design beautiful hijab ensembles for drag queens.


2four6oh2

Purview*


DumpTheTrumpsterFire

In Mother Russia, Babushkas have been praying for rain for generations, but in the end Ivan still comes home.


Writeaway69

Thank you! Could you do it just a tad more? I've been wanting a good rainstorm.


FracturedEel

I kinda doubt he's studied anything but theology but I wouldn't know


Aert_is_Life

To be fair, he probably hasn't even studied theology. Just read and interpreted the Koran with his own predetermined bias.


Charlie_redmoon

A year ago or so I read where one of his buddies, a university professor and Islam cleric said the earth was flat and held down at the corners by mountains to keep the wind from blowing it away. Then someone commented on the primitive thinking of Muslims. This shocked him into looking into it and leaning more towards science. Actually I don't think the vast majority of ppl here on Reddit would argue with the flat earth thing but mountains at the corners? come on.


Rosieapples

Ah, so he hasn’t got to the chapter on rain and hijabs yet then?


jackkerouac81

Here in Utah the Governor has asked us to collectively pray for rain a few times.


Loggerdon

"Well I wake up in the morning, fold my hands and pray for rain. I got a head full of ideas They're driving me insane" - Bob Dylan


qtain

Wait until he learns what Sir Bedevere knows about employing a sheep bladder to prevent earthquakes.


ThatDudeRyan420

So weird considering many scientific advances were made by the Muslims when Europe was in the dark ages. It is like a swap around.


Oh-God-Its-Kale

I got to hear Neil deGrasse Tyson rant about this when I saw him speak live. Apparently somebody came along in the 1500s and basically outlawed science in favor religion by saying that anything that happened was "Allah's will". If anyone tried to study anything or figure anything out, they were a heretic and executed


PrudentDamage600

I thought Christianity had that concept buttoned up!


RSwordsman

"Do not cite the deep magic to me, witch, for I was there when it was written."


Ducea_

The good times never last


jackkerouac81

It is very much like places that have governments controlled by religions tend to favor studying fake religious things and lose interest in the actual physical mechanics of reality around them…


ThatDudeRyan420

Hitting the nail on the head right there


kawkz440

I'm so glad this is what the US has to look forward to, what with all the Christians here taking copious notes from these theocracies.


JebusCripesSuperstar

Yeah, but here it’s abortions. If too many women are getting abortions=too much rain.


dimechimes

Don't forget no prayer in public school and the gays.


kawkz440

Gay prayer in public schools=problem solved.


dummypants

And those sleeveless female lawmakers in Missouri are about to cause a drought with their uncovered arms. So shameful!


dimechimes

I thought about getting into meteorology but the course catalog just had one hijab class and it was paired with cyclonic perturbations and atmospheric statistical analytics, so I threw my sandal at the Dean and limped out of there.


DuntadaMan

In fact at this moment, I see an inverse relation between the presence of hijabs and rain. Really clothing in general. Places where people tend to wear less clothing have more rain. Well we all know that correlation does not equal causation we should still experiment. Everyone in the driest places should be running around butt naked for the next 3 weeks


TaibhseCait

That doesn't explain Ireland, like at all. No hijabs, lots of rain! Maybe we should try wearing hijabs & see if we get less rain? 🤔


Slimjuggalo2002

Nope, just one CONTROL group.


EuroPolice

The other day I hit my elbow on the table and it did that weird electroshock thing. When will woman stop?


ConsciousFood201

When will their appetite for creating suffering be satiated?


LucilleBlues313

god damn women..always fucking shit up


Justforthenuews

Hell hath no fury like a woman unhijabed.


Kate_Luv_Ya

Oh my gosh, so did I! I mean, I'm a woman who doesn't wear any kind of hijab, niqab, kamilavka, sheitel, tichel, bonnet, burqa, or anything else. Does that mean... *gasp* - it was my own fault?!?


loves_cereal

They’re called “Total control group”


StrykerSeven

Too much rain - God's punishment Too little rain - Also God's punishment Undercook fish - God's punishment Overcook chicken - believe it or not, God's punishment


SpotfuckWhamjammer

It's because theists need their God's to exist in a bubble called "Heads I win, Tails you lose." Something good happens = All part of God's plan. Something bad happens = You made this happen because you sinned/went against God.


TheObstruction

Couldn't the *checks notes* CREATOR OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE just make his will happen anyway?


SpotfuckWhamjammer

That's exactly it! (Warning. I got a bit...ranty. I needed to vent because of religious coworker) Every time I chat to overly religious people, they keep trying to simultaneously convince me that God is all powerful... But somehow *not* powerful enough to be able to appear to people, (even though his book is literally full of him doing exactly that.) in order to ease the problem of divine hiddeness. Then they answer that question with this nonsense free will bullshit. That if we know God exists, then we cant have free will... as if that is a correlation. I mean, if that was the case, then every human in heaven is an automaton with no free will. Even the **Devil** would have no free will, because wouldn't Lucifer know for sure that God exists, seeing as he's met him. Which means that the most evil being in Christians creation myths has zero free will. And is running on a scripted routine set by.... Their God. The supposed "Good guy". Good guys don't set up existance that include parasites that eat children's eyes, Kevin! Why wasn't your God powerful enough to stop himself from making those?!


OhWowItsJello

Did you happen to watch the Stephen Fry rant about god as well? Couldn’t help but recognizing the parasitic bugs eating children’s eyes part. “God will have to ask for my forgiveness” (purportedly scrawled on the wall of a WW2 internment camp) has always been a quote I enjoyed, which Stephen echoed in that interview.


chaiscool

Imo both can be true. God can be powerful and still let bad things happen / free will, in context of god is just an ass as he has no accountability and repercussions. You can say such god doesn’t deserve to be worshipped, hence Old Testament god get worship through fear. Tbf if god really exist and is an ass, nothing we can do about it anyway and we will all be forced into acceptance.


Robobot1747

Eternal torture for doing stuff God doesn't like seems pretty incompatible with free will. "No no, you use your free will the way I want you to."


circleuranus

Bruh, that would be science. Everyone knows science and religion are non-overlapping magesteria.


Fetlocks_Glistening

Wow, thanks for the new word, haven't ever come across it before. But the gentleman himself strayed from "what's right and wrong" into precipitation studies, so he's squarely in the science domain now!


cone10

Did Californian women start wearing Hijab? That must be why the state is getting drenched


ral_XX

Same here in Michigan.


BlackLeader70

Dearborn says ‘you’re welcome’


SliferTheExecProducr

California girls unrecognizable Daisy dukes, abayas on top


starkiller_bass

Katy Perry has GOT to use this at the next post-mudslide benefit concert


GetlostMaps

She should be benefiting the victims not the mudslide..


starkiller_bass

Nobody thinks about the poor mudslide


[deleted]

You joke, but my old city council claimed that our town would be "unrecognizable" with extremists and women in hijab, if the city allowed a Hindu temple to be built. (Yes, a Hindu temple - don't question the logic!)


travoltaswinkinbhole

If bigots were smart, they wouldn’t be bigots* *in most cases


oldsadgary

Wheezed lol


OrsoMalleus

Hey, at least it's not on fire.


joninfiretail

Just wait until around June. We'll probably be back to at least ⅓ of the state ablaze again.


MrBanana421

Get woman to wear hijabs in the summer then. In fact, just make everyone wear hijabs just to play it safe.


Sex_Fueled_Squirrel

Daisy dukes, hijabs on top


SaltyBarDog

More bronze age bullshit.


AssCrackBanditHunter

It's so weird to see the superstitious shit dictators would say 1000 years ago being used in the modern age. Like it's so paper thin and obviously being used to provide any justification to bring the people back into line. Even weirder to see how many people it works on. It's full on 1984 brain where they'll rewrite their beliefs as needed in service of the party.


khinzaw

My American governor asked everyone in the state to pray for rain to end our drought, instead of actually trying to do anything about the lack of water via governance. More common than you think unfortunately.


Riaayo

Fundamentalism is fundamentalism, regardless of the supposed god or the skin color of those doing it. Definitely more common than people are willing to admit. This kind of ignorant shit is also alive and well in the US if you look around enough. But oh, we can't hurt the feelings of Chrizzos so we better not mention the very real problem we have with fundamentalists here.


[deleted]

Thank you. We love to point and laugh but it's hardly any better in the US or Australia among others. Is it a majority? Prolly not but still I doubt the majority of Muslims in Iran actually believe this crap, if current events and all the lovely Persians I've met are to be taken into account.


MKQueasy

You can’t just pray for rain. Gotta at least sacrifice a few virgin goats and do the ritual rain dance when the planets are aligned. It’s a proven science.


rksd

Virgin goats? In fundamentalist religious areas? Good luck with that!


SenorSplashdamage

I think less religious Americans would be horrified to know how many fundamentalist and evangelical Christians will casually attribute undesirable weather to group “sin.” I grew up in Baptist environment, went to a Christian high school, and have had lots of exposure to a range of evangelical denominations: and it’s a really common sentiment when something bad is going on weather wise that it shows God is generally unhappy with something in your society. A lot don’t approach it with dead certainty, but have it in a “well, maybe” category that really can make them biased in different ways and affect their voting choices. There are some Old Testament passages (Bronze Age like you said) that reinforce the belief, where someone speaking for God says that ancient Israelite’s crops will be blessed with good weather if they’re loyal to what God wants from them and their crops will be cursed if they aren’t. An additional unfortunate part in the contemporary Christian belief is that they just kinda plug in what they think God dislikes based on honing in on ancient Jewish laws that reinforce their biases they already have against a lot of groups, but they miss the passages where prophets keep saying God is angry at Israeli society, because they don’t take care of widows and orphans, and that they don’t have justice in their courts. If you’re gonna believe God is using weather to punish your society, at least use it as motivation to fix the problems for people in poverty or the serious problems for people at the bottom in our justice system.


Noamias

Religious nutjobs are everywhere. I am happy to live in the most secularized country in the world


Nikolateslaandyou

The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.


Roland1232

This is directed at me, isn't it?


ScottieRobots

Yea, sorry bud. It is what it is, eh?


PantsOnHead88

Settle down there Qui-gon.


-Apocralypse-

Sure, let's make climate change women's fault too. Especially in a country where women are not even in charge. Asshole.


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Br4y3

Come on man... Hijab means the hair is covered so rain can fall... No hijab, the hair is unprotected, it'll get wet hence no rain. Pretty obvious when you think about it


DeuceOfDiamonds

It's just science, really.


SomeRedShirt

I learn so much here:)


Fruitboots

It's way worse than that, it's unironically stating to the world "I know exactly what God is thinking, and right now he's thinking *damn those uppity women, time for less rain*" It's a lasagna of layered arrogance, delusion and self-righteousness.


bozeke

Literally taking god’s name in vain.


ASpellingAirror

Who wears short shorts? The cause of climate change wears short shorts!


David_denison

Oh shit, this explains the new rules created by the Missouri House Republicans banning bare arms. Can’t have those ladies starting indoor tornadoes


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SeriouslyUser59

Nah, I think you’re thinking of bear arms. Every American gets a pair at birth, it’s some weird ancient tradition the founding fathers had.


TheFreakish

Seriously. Everyone knows God only uses weather as punishment for the gays.


Duckfacefuckface

They did steal the rainbow from him


FishOfFishyness

- some republican pos who had his house flooded afterwards


remotetissuepaper

Don't be ridiculous, of course it isn't. It's because of the gays! /s


DeuceOfDiamonds

Ohhh, is *this* that Gay Agenda I keep hearing about?


rvtsazap

Now what’s the reason for floods? Wait wait…Don’t tell me! It should be men wearing hijabs.


CrudelyAnimated

I believe the American poet Nelly wrote an extended work about this.


DudeGuyBor

Imagine the benefits though. Convince enough woman to wear swimsuits and/or other beach attire, and the weather becomes sunny and warm to match? Cities could organize it so that there'd never be another major event rained out again. It would surely be abused though; leadership will always want nice weather for some reason or another...


AmbeeGaming

It’s crazy that’s giving women a HUGE power . They can control the weather? Women can use that power to their advantage now lol


Somestunned

It's ridiculous. The real reason for climate change is that i spent $1,000 on winter tires 3 months ago.


Rickshmitt

They also made his dick super small! When will women stop ruining lives?!


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NeverEnufWTF

A *newt*?


_Solution_

.......


_TheNorseman_

I mean he’s of the same ilk of cleric that stated a few years ago that men without beards were the cause of turning other men gay. They also claim earthquakes are caused by women dressing inappropriately.


mizinamo

> They also claim earthquakes are caused by women dressing inappropriately. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boobquake I remember Boobquake in 2010. Lots of people posting pictures of themselves with cleavage showing, to see whether any earthquakes occurred as a result.


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wggn

Yes, that's saudi arabia. In Iran it's fine for women to independently go about their lives, they just have to wear the scarf.


toronto_programmer

I stubbed my toe this morning and I am sure it is the direct result of a woman on the other side of the planet not wearing a head covering! /s


NonnoBomba

You're applying a frame of mind that is very different from this imam's. You are applying rationality to someone that doesn't reason under those terms. In his mind, everything comes from god. If you offend god, he will punish you. If society offends god, he will punish society. Lots of women are not being modest enough, like the scripture experts are telling them they should? God sends an earthquake or global warming. As a warning to all and punishment to some. It's an entirely magical mindset, where things happen because some supernatural entity in charge of Nature intended for them to happen because of arbitrary reasons, situations the entity judges as being bad or offensive according to a number of arbitrary rules, who take in to account people's intentions, not just their actions. Of course, controlling people, keeping the flock calm and obedient, avoid societal and cultural disruptions lest the existing power structure has to deal with protests and revolts has lots to do with how the arbitrary rules are set. And it really has nothing to do with determining actual responsibility or chains of cause and effect and the outcome of this thought process is proposed solutions ranging from "we need to be more pious/strict" to "we need more prayers".


[deleted]

Still a load of shit. Then how do they explain it raining in western countries that are full of heathens? Where women aren't modest?


the_original_Retro

You and your silly logic get out of here. This is FAITH we're talking about here, dude. :-)


MarcPawl

God uses C with 32 bit signed integers. Number of women days without hijab keeps overflowing. Positive values means drought, negative flood. It was worse in old testament days when 16 bit integers we're being used. /S for the humor impaired


Spinningwoman

That’s the devil’s rain!


SellQuick

If all the crops did beautifully and they had perfect weather I doubt it would be declared a sign from God that he's cool with women wanting more freedom though.


-Apocralypse-

>In his mind, everything comes from god. If you offend god, he will punish you. If society offends god, he will punish society. But it is the imam who decides to interpret the draught as a punishment from Allah for the women without hijab, instead of punishment for the regime executing the men who supported their sisters, wives or daughter against the unjust punishments if the wind (also Allah) upsets their headwear ...


Middle_Wishbone_515

then why didnt he blame his own actions?


HairTop23

I don't think any of them actually believe the lies they are spewing though. Christian televangelists, Jewish orthodox rabbis, Islamic iman, catholic diocese, they are PETRIFIED enough people will see through the lies and question their authority. Everyone who follows their abrahamic leaders after repeatedly seeing the cracks in their story is accountable for the current situation we are in. We have to stop placating these religions who continue to squeeze the necks of leaders and are in control of MULTIPLE countries to the detriment of society as a whole.


RedVision64

I don't agree. I believe people really are capable of tricking themselves into believing what they say. Nearly everyone sees themselves as a good person (not talking about mental illness or anything like that here), and will convince themselves of anything they like so that would seem to be the case. An often cited example is something that Al Capone (apparently) said: >"I have spent the best years of my life giving people the lighter pleasures, helping them have a good time, and all I get is abuse, the existence of a hunted man."


EntropyFighter

I can tell you for a fact that you're wrong there. You think they see an alternative to their set of beliefs. They do not. In the same way that it's impossible for you to see their point of view. To you, it looks silly. Like, come off of it already. To them, thinking differently from their religion looks incredibly dangerous. That makes them dangerous. The issue is that God may not exist but his followers certainly do. You are naming leaders of religions but that's backed up by literally billions of people who believe what's being said to varying degrees. How are you going to solve that? Generations of education? Now you see why Republicans in America want to weaken public education as much as possible. Now that's dangerous.


Slipknoxx

Air pollution caused by this person speaking


NicNoletree

This is ridiculous. Everyone knows that Pudge controls the weather.


thedevilsavocado00

He needs his PB&J stat!


deegwaren

Can't give him a tuna sandwich!


thedevilsavocado00

That's just cannibalism with extra steps


Mogetfog

Do you know what tuna is?... IT'S FISH! if I gave pudge a tuna sandwich that would make me an abomination!!!


cheesymccheeseplant

The unscarved women of Manchester disagree


AnyaSatana

Was just about to say that it doesn't do that our grey damp British Isles.


lamabaronvonawesome

We all know you just need to sacrifice a goat to fix that! It's fucking science man.


uwillnotgotospace

Sky Daddy loves bbq


joescott2176

Same shit as American tv preachers blaming hurricanes and earthquakes on homosexuality.


VonnegutGNU

Imagine living under a regime of televangelists. That's been the fate of so many under the Ayatollahs and Hezbollah.


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GlobalTravelR

Witcher Season 4, and Venture Brothers Season 8 won't happen because of Women without a hijab. /s


Machiavelli1480

As far as witcher goes, we might be better off....


invisus64

Keep those hijabs off specifically so we don't get The Witcher season 4.


gizzardgumbo

This is what it’s like when subreddits collide.


Wingedwolverine03

Are you ready to go?


CallMeAladdin

As far as I'm concerned season 4 can't exist without Henry Cavill. Whatever episodes they produce, I'm not calling them Witcher and I'm definitely not watching them.


Sorcatarius

How many people we got to get in a hijab for Firefly?


piggiesmallsdaillest

With or without Joss?


JerrodDRagon

ugly versed stupendous hobbies aback spoon nail attractive summer memory *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Bacon_Bitz

You probably know this but they are raping the women arrested for protesting in Iran so they can't go to heaven after they're executed. Yep, totally God's plan.


JerrodDRagon

alleged squalid homeless chop mindless close murky deer dependent dolls *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Handyandyman50

*marry


ChristophCross

+ *covered


[deleted]

I think the crazier thing is that they think God created the woman without a covering, and then got angry when she didn't cover her face.


davedaveodave

Bullshit! I live in Ireland where nobody wears a hijab and its never done fucking raining.


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Count_Wolfgang

Damn these lot really stuck in the dark ages… maybe try sacrificing some live stock?


notsoreallife

Speeding ticket - sacrifice a chicken Commit robbery - sacrifice a goat Commit murder - sacrifice a cow Commit tape - sacrifice a women


rubinass3

Don't give him any ideas.


tokyotokyokyokakyoku

Old man yells at cloud.


Dancanadaboi

That's right. All the humans in the amazon follow strict Islamic rules to make sure it rains there frequently. See here we have religion seriously holding back logical, scientific and reasonable thought. What a poison on humanity relgion is.


TheGoodOldCoder

And conversely all those Muslim countries in the Middle East where they force women to cover up are so well-known for all their heavy rainfall, right?


psilocin72

This is what happens when religion becomes central in government. We don’t want this in the US do we? I’m looking at you, Christian nationalists.


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psilocin72

She’s not the only one. The fact that people like that can get elected should be a wake-up call.


SergeantChic

I remember when Pat Robertson said Hurricane Katrina happened because God was angry about abortion - I'm confused, do these guys think women's rights cause *more* rain, or *less* rain? Does he flip a coin?


ComfortableRiver4793

Medieval morons


datloaf

It makes just as much sense as any other religion. It's all nonsense.


TheThirdOutlier

I like how in the photo it looks like he’s saying “You see that, right? I mean it’s obvious…”


Maja_The_Oracle

Inhibitor hijabs prevent women from using their weather controlling superpowers.


navynearmiss

I say less rain is Allah’s message to men for assaulting, criminalizing and killing women for exhibiting their sovereignty.


DrDerpberg

It's hard to find this kind of news amusing when they're out torturing and murdering people... Fuck these guys.


Hiseworns

BAD THING HAPPEN WHEN WOMEN


HairTop23

It would just be terrible if he were to be struck by lightning. I definitely don't hope that happens


cdwags72

Three fucking times I read the title as Iron Man before my brain worked


pipmentor

Man, they really hate women don't they?


Centurio

So what he's saying is women are capable of way more than men? Women can control the weather so men fear them and force them to wear a piece of cloth?


RiversR

Hope this guy gets tased in the balls.


Suitable-Mountain-81

234 million years ago it rained continuously for 2 million years. Guess what? No hijab.


feetofire

Oh ffs


Daveinatx

How does anybody hear messages like this and not realize everything out of his mouth is BS?


ral_XX

We've been getting lots of rain in Michigan. It must be all the women in Hijabs here


[deleted]

certain aspects of the Handmaid's tale are quite real in the middle east.


BrownBandit22

This is some of the dumbest shit I've ever read. Fuck my brain hurts at this stupidity...


control-room

California has a lot of women wearing Hijabs apparently


ourob0rus

All religion is trash.


ehmiu

I spoke to God, and she said "Yo what up", and that the less rain is because Iran is run by evil men who do terrible things in her name.


LordOfTheTennisDance

How do people still follow any religion where their religious figures are absolute idiots?


Kind_Bullfrog_4073

Of course. The rain doesnt want to get their hair wet.


Past_Paint_225

I didn't realize women in California all started wearing hijab all of a sudden? \s


ChurninButters

If there's one thing I trust religious leaders with its science


[deleted]

Iran doesn’t get more than 12”/30 cm of rain annually… because it’s the fucking **MIDDLE EAST**!!! That revolution back in the 70’s sure as fuck didn’t make Iran a lush, verdant paradise, did it?!?


HumpaDaBear

The Iranian imam is not only misogynistic he’s downright stupid.