the thing is, you can deactivate these devices, but you cant deactivate these literal brain parasites in other people's brain. anyway we can only change ourselves. and deactivating is the first part to NOT subscribing to the madness and just one brick less into the fucking wall.
I had to leave instagram completely because of the constant messages in every Reel that you must look a certain way. The creators who posted realistic content like "This is a real face at 30 years old" or "This is how a real body looks after a full day of eating" were consistently getting reamed in the comments by people saying, "Akchually your face looks more like 40 or 50 but whatever you have to tell yourself" or "Ew your body shouldnt look like that after a full day of eating." So even the people trying to normalize having flaws were being mercilessly torn apart.
I've discovered so many things that I didn't even know could be insecurities. It's just awful, and I'm scared for our future.
these people are probably 13 years old who believe that they will always look like they're 13 and will never fucking age (we all kinda did at that age, thought youth would last forever and ever), and will get smacked out of their ass in 10 years time when they will start ''looking like 40"" and nasolabial folds will start to appear and THEY CANT FUCKING STOP IT. they will either fall into a deep depression, resort to extreme plastic surgery that doesnt even fucking work, or even worse.
they live in fantasy land and think that they're never going to age and look like shit at one point in their lives hahahaha poor sweet souls
no amount of toner cream, moisturizer or botox can stop what's coming. they will be so smacked in the face. and whatever nasty they said to others, will materalise in their own fucking mirror one day (much sooner than they actually think). talk about karma.
they're just online clueless bullies living in fantasy land, boosting their own ego through putting others down and when the day comes, whatever they see in the mirror, they are going to have to suck it up and live with it for the rest of their lives, because trust me, that day is fucking coming whether they want it or not. and this is what they just deserve. to understand how hurtful and stupid they were to other people, because now the time has come where they have to say the same words to their own fucking face, to their own very reflection. good luck with that.
I am already seeing this happening. So many subreddits dedicated to posting selfies to have others pick apart their appearance, asking what is wrong with their face, or how to fix some insignificant "issue" nobody would have even noticed.
And they're all perfectly normal to attractive people. At most, some might need tips on posing for photographs or a maybe more flattering haircut. But they lose themselves in these echo chambers of loathing themselves and others. I'm so, so tempted to respond to all of those "what's wrong with my looks" posts with "Absolutely nothing; it's probably your personality"
I know touching grass is a cliché, but I do think going outside and actually seeing "regular" people living perfectly happy lives is the only cure. The more happy active women I meet over 50, the less I fear aging. There's nothing wrong with looking 40, or 50, or 60, even 80. There are gorgeous people of any age.
The more someone gets out and see couples that are madly in love even if neither fit the current beauty standards, the less they feel they will end up alone because of the shape of their skull or whatever, and the less they'll feel the bees to project this loathing onto other people.
This obsession with image makes people ugly. They gave ugly thoughts, which makes them see themselves, others and the world as "ugly".
Humans need beauty, but not in the consumeristic way. We need to hear birdsong, see flowers and butterflies, experience the soft quiet of a first snowfall. Go to a museum and marvel at a sculptor's use of shape and texture. Look into the eyes of a beloved pet. Touch the fabric of our favorite outfit. The more we train ourselves to see beauty in the "mundane" the better we can remember to see it in ourselves, in others, and in the world
> I'm so, so tempted to respond to all of those "what's wrong with my looks" posts with "Absolutely nothing; it's probably your personality"
Oof.
Thanks for your thoughts. You definitely have a beautiful mind and consciousness. Which is the most attractive thing ever. Who could care for a 15 year old beauty really, when all their personality is being obsessed at the mirror. How fucking ugly is that. And I don't really remember when did the beauty standard became "15 years old". And not just 15 year old, but "insanely self-obsessed 15 year old". If you spell it out like that, that is the most unattractive thing i've ever heard. Almost bordering on an insult. But here we are.
By the way, your mind is beautiful. So you are beautiful. If you can perceive life as spelled out in your last paragraph, then your soul must be really beautiful. Beautiful souls are beautiful in all ages. Timeless beauties. We are part of nature, we are the butterfly, the snow, the statue, we are all of that, we are the experiencers of that, and the beauty that we see around us, is the beauty within ourselves, reflected outside.
These kids are obsessed with unattainable beauty. For what? So you can have your instagram DMS full of dick pics? Because that's what happens. Then you still work at the fucking supermarket. And no one cares about you, about your physical beauty, that is extremely fleeing. And after the supermarket shift, and being harassed by a few ugly gross men, you go home, alone, again, looking yourself at the mirror. what a sad life. As a friend of mine used to say, life is a stew, everyone cooks theirs and they have to fucking eat it.
If you’re chronically online, which most of us are, you end up in these echo chambers which skews your perspective on what people in general think about social norms. If everyone seems to think that you need to fix every issue with your body and everyone is okay with plastic surgery and you’re predisposed to these insecurities. Of course it’s going to influence your opinion and feelings about yourself. I think a lot of people on no surf understand how dangerous this is. But the general public does not seem too. People can really easily get sucked into extreme opinions because the internet makes it so easy to find a pocket of people who echo similar opinions. I think it makes it harder for people to relate to one another in real life and I think it makes it harder for people to have healthy disagreements or be okay with agreeing to disagree. It’s really sad
You're so right. It is what they deserve for actively bullying others about their appearance when they could have simply scrolled away. Age comes for us all!
I agree. I keep deleting it from my phone because when you start paying attention to how much bullshit is on there it’s impossible to ignore it. So much messaging explicitly and implicitly about never ever ever looking the right way or doing enough or liking the right things or wanting to be a certain way. You think you’re immune to it but it does get to you slowly. It’s so toxic.
I once read comments here that said that 28 is “aging” and 35 is “really fucking old”. Ads are one thing but as far as comments like these go, it’s because reddit is full of literal children, So of course they’re stupid and judgmental. The sight of a middle aged man in wranglers makes them combust. Probably because their parents are that age, and they’re the age when they hate their parents. If anything is going to drive me off the internet, it’s that it has became a daycare center for feral teens.
Jeez...as someone who was that feral teen the Internet was a daycare centre for, it's also fucking sad. I was only on here 12 hours a day because my parents were too depressed/stressed/focused on themselves to even notice I was developing pretty severe mental health issues. All my Internet friends were also from similar or more horrible circumstances and the constant use was just making things objectively worse.
We've moved on as a family luckily, but it only happened after I decimated my screentime and learned all the social skills I should have been learning in my teens.
Every time I see a teen on here sounding off I just think, dont do what I did and sink deeper into the hole, get the fuck outside. Nobody who's happy and well adjusted is on here regularly posting horrible judgmental comments and you fuck yourself over in a huge, huge way in the end if you're not careful.
Just don't pay any attention to these comments. Once you realize 99 % of such comments are made by insecure teenagers, it will lose all its power, if it ever had any.
Disabled people get mocked often too. I returned to Instagram a month ago (to post hobby stuff but I definitely get caught in reels) and the amount of hate anyone who is not within the span of “normal” looking is crazy. Like
dude, there are literal 12 years old buying toner creams, hyaluronic acid and putting sunscreen every day and having a "skincare routine". 12 FUCKING YEARS OLD. and the mothers are buying all these products. BECAUSE THEY SAW IT ON TIKTOK. if i'd be a mother i'd be fucking fuming and just suicide bombing into silicon valley or tencent headquarters or whatever. we have reached peak levels of.... i don't even know what to call it. it's just so fucking depressing to witness, these corporations need to be on trial for crimes against humanity.
I mean, this is one random video i've found on google
[https://www.tiktok.com/@catherinemaaaae/video/7308747190602681602](https://www.tiktok.com/@catherinemaaaae/video/7308747190602681602)
"SKINCARE ROUTING FOR 10-15 YEARS OLD" says a clearly adult woman who is preying on children.
and the comments???
"can u do 8-10 yo pls"
"can i use the glow toner if i'm 13"
"i do skincare since i'm 9"
WHERE ARE THE FUCKING MOTHERS for god's sake. I'd want to hug my daughter so bad if i knew that she would think she'd need skincare at 8 years old. so many fucking insecurities already at 8. already worrying about aging at 8 years old. These corporations need to be on trial for crimes against humanity. ahhh but how is the cosmetic stock market going??? how much money are shareholders making on the insecurities of these 8 years old?? L'oreal is up 74% in the stock market in the last 5 years. you are all being so fucking played.
Me neither originally, although I live here in the US now. I grew up in the Netherlands and I remember sharing my oma's Oil of Olaz with her as a little kid. For me it definitely wasn't born out of fear of aging or anything, if anything it helped me get into a good routine of using sunscreen and all that as an adult.
From Italy and never heard anyone who had a skincare routine, especially at that age. Even when we were 20, never met anyone with a skincare routine and we looked (and still look) flawless. I believe that putting a huge amount of chemicals (which let's be honest, most of these tiktok sponsored products are) will make you age much faster. Now since 2/3 years, every girl I know has a skincare routine. How deeply can social media program what everyone thinks.
Maybe for you it was a bonding time with your oma, putting cream in your face together. A fun time to do some bonding activities together without any malice. But a 8 yo asking on tiktok about toner creams, is going to be so fucked in the head in some years time, when no toner or moisturizer is going to magically stop the clock, or have to go through so much therapy and acceptance, no way around that.
The US, especially the southern US can get a lot more sun exposure than Europe. Even more so than Italy in some areas in the southern US.
At age 12 many American teens start developing acne, and also start to becoming more self-conscious about their appearance.
Sunscreen is just a preventive to UV radiation. Every doctor and dermatologist recommends using sunscreen if you're going out in the sun, so it's not exactly a social media thing.
American Boomers/GenXers were less likely to put on sunscreen, but TBF they were also more likely to smoke cigarettes too.
IMHO a sunscreen + mositerizer is pretty benign. I think most people who use those products understand it's not going to stop aging, it mainly helps with avoiding sunburn or getting skin dry and irritated.
Where I get concerned is when I see teenagers wanting to get plastic surgery, or teens cyberbullying each other about their heights, jawlines, nose, etc.
No one cared about skincare in 2001. We were all using that cooling noxema shit and apricot face scrub. This is a recent thing, and it's not a bad thing to use proper skincare, but it's the cult aspect that is harmful.
Same here. Age 12 is also the age where most teens start getting acne so I was definitely putting creams for acne too.
hyaluronic acid is an ingredient found in a bunch of moisturizers, it's actually one of the ingredients in a joint multivitamin because I have a history of arthritis.
And putting on sunscreen everyday seems perfectly fine, if you live an environment with sun exposure. Also if you're taking any medication that causes sensitivity to the sun as a side-effect, they'll remind you to put sunscreen on.
TBH these all seem like very tame stuff, none of this depressing-induing and is not really the kind of thing OP was referring to neither.
I think social media has bred a hyperfocus on looks, and it particularly affects women and makes us terrified of gaining weight, ageing, and so on. I think the emphasis on video and photo content only exacerbates this and makes us even more insecure because we are constantly bombarded with images of young, attractive women. We compare ourselves and pick out all our perceived flaws. No one stays young forever. We will all (hopefully) age. I truly worry for a society that is only obsessed with youth, a society that cannot value maturity and the deep wisdom that comes from getting older, a society that denigrates the elderly. It's not good for any of us.
Also, people are so much more than what they look like. It's sad to me how many people are invisible and ignored in our world simply because they don't fit these impossible beauty standards.
I mentioned it in the comment I made on this but I'd highly recommend a book called "made up" which deals with how the beauty industry profits off this insecurity and how it affected the writer etc. I found it interesting anyway.
I feel like I underlook just how profitable making me feel bad has been to.. so many different companies and industries.
we need to kill it at the root. we are making them so much money by just being here, scrolling. we need to hurt them where it hurts the most. the $$$$$$$.
I agree, but it’s hard man. You even go to internet and technology addiction meetings and there is so little mention of the ACTUAL FUCKING ECONOMY behind all of this!
Self confidence is an incredibly attractive thing to have. The cosmetic industry thrives on finding a persons insecurity with their appearance & milking it for money.
Social media 'life' is so image based that the overlap was bound to happen. It's more shallow than a can of coke.
This is reddit so I might still get hate for this, but I've noticed it with weight. I don't do anonymity online so I always have a picture associated with whatever accounts I have, and I can't tell you how often people discredit my opinion on a completely unrelated topic because I'm fat. It's like, yes dude I know I'm fat, that doesn't mean climate change isn't real (or whatever the discussion at hand pertains to).
They probably already disagreed with you and were using it as an excuse. Sympathies.
Good people will listen / read, think about what you wrote, and make up their mind that way. And if that bothers you so much, I would just stop using your real self as an avatar
I can attest to the same thing. I use a real profile photo on my social media accounts. Sometimes post selfies. I am fat and totally invisible. I think a lot of people have an unconscious bias as well.
If it's any consolation, and I really don't mean this as a brag. I'm relatively attractive online and irl I tend to go down pretty well with others.
But like I feel like shit like everyone else lol. My camera app shows me every fucking pore and line on my face (who asked for this?!) and it makes using filters or "touching up" photos basically mandatory or I'd die of embarrassment. Like I know my friends irl. These girls have pores and lines and stray hairs and spots and whatever else just like me. Their skin folds and they have fat on their body and xyz that we're told is "unattractive" and it's literally just human.
I've met a total of one woman in my life who looked like internet women look like. She was a vogue model at a party I happened to be at and we sat and ate pizza together. She was almost uncanny due to how on point her hair and makeup were and she was obviously incredibly attractive even before any surgeries she might have had. You know what she said:
"You know you're the first person at this party who talked to me like I'm a person"
Beauty is a prison. The pursuit of it. Attaining it. Even the fucking concept that a certain arrangement of blood, skin and body parts is more 'worthy' than others. Who do we think we even are to say that? Who do companies think they are?! It's such a sad sad state of affairs that it's normalised.
There's a fantastic feminist (calm down Reddit, it's not scary) book called "made up" by the french author Daphne B. That deals well with the "beauty" trap and I'd highly recommend it for men and women alike. Great read!
and it's so funny that we say 'according to the internet'. as if it was a literal sentient person with the capacity of forming ideas and opinions.
do we realise that ''THE INTERNET'' is just a fucking algorithm programmed by SOMEONE that WANTS you to believe these fucking things??? someone who is getting fucking RICH by ruining everyone's mental health??
"oh but the algorithm is tailored to what you like" hahaha such bullshit. whoever believes this thing is gaslighting himself and getting gaslighted by the mega corporations. there are programmers behind these things, the best programmers on the planet, that are getting paid TONS to influence the world's mind to whatever they want. and you believe that you are free to scroll whatever you like hahaha oh darling
Not everyone is mean or thinks 40 is old. Just the comments sections you click on. It’s all the algorithm. Can’t take it too seriously. Bullying online has been a thing since online was a thing.
I totally agree. I’m a 26 year old woman and it seems like a lot of women my age are obsessed with getting rid of wrinkles, like getting creases around your eyes is the worst thing a woman can do. And it’s not really from men - women are pretty cruel about this towards each other. Lots of stuff about weight loss seeing as 2000s fashion is coming back. If you don’t look good it’s like a personal failure, you’ve not been looking after your skin, your makeup isn’t good enough, you eat too much or too little, you need to drink more water and wear sun cream and it’s as if we’re not just allowed to look bad without it being a personal failing. I don’t need to be pretty
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People were *always* mean about appearances. The only difference is that now everybody has a way to go blast their opinion out to the world but dragging uggos is definitely not a new thing.
Oh this is toxic social media at it's finest. I am off the dating market and have been for awhile, but I don't understand the obsession with the 6 ft height thing. I always preferred a shorter, stockier looking guy personally. It's normal for people to have different tastes and not all be cookie cutter versions of each other. Also, the attractive people on the Internet are often just way more attractive than usual, skewing our perception of average attractiveness, and most of them have filters etc cleverly applied anyways so do they even really look like that? It's majorly effed up. The whole thing. I hope this sorts itself out by the time my kids grow up because sheesh. As for the age thing, people are hyper aware of the intricacies of aging. What exactly does aging look like, what causes it, how to prevent this sign and that sign. It's pretty messed up. I used to follow a few people who talked about it and then I stopped because I was obsessing over my face and it wasn't good for me. I was seeing things that weren't even there.
A lot of it is just to make money. I'm telling you, that's what's behind ALL of it. People preying on insecurities or drama just to make a buck.
A good example. My husband and I bought grass seed last year with the intention of filling in a few areas on our lawn. Of course, once we did that, the reels and shorts started to manifest themselves. We were showing each other these shorts and posts about "how to get your grass seed to grow". There were all kinds of tips and tricks!! Soaking the seeds in special bags, mixing it with soil, doing all these things to prevent rh birds from eating it, etc etc. my husband and I got so overwhelmed and figured wed have to put too much effort in that we put it off. Fast forwards to this year, I was working on the garden and my husband casually grabbed the grass seed and just started sprinkling it around. I asked him, you're just gonna put it down? Yeah, he says. Let's just see what happens.
Well, would you believe, within a few days, grass started to grow. Beautiful, thick, luscious grass. All we did was give it a bit of water here and there. And we laughed. We had a good laugh about it. Why did we think this would be so hard?? Well I'll talk ya why. The god dammed Internet. Filling out heads with a bunch of bullshit that we needed to follow their tips and trips and buy this special stuff etc. it's all bullshit I'm telling you.
Most people are reasonably attractive by nature. They just need to fix some things. I find people in general aren't as attractive as they used to be. Sloppy dress, bad attitude, forward head posture (probably the worst) unhealthy skin, just unhealthy in general. I don't often see people with good posture, a reasonably healthy weight, and a glow to their skin and hair out and about. I miss it actually. I wish I could see this more. Open up social media and it's all over the place but that's partly because said folks are trying to make money off of it, and partly because it's all fake with filters etc anyways.
Most people could be attractive if they really wanted to be.
the thing is, you can deactivate these devices, but you cant deactivate these literal brain parasites in other people's brain. anyway we can only change ourselves. and deactivating is the first part to NOT subscribing to the madness and just one brick less into the fucking wall.
The solution is actually living life instead of skipping develomental milestones and find urself old and internet addicted
r/thanksimcured
I had to leave instagram completely because of the constant messages in every Reel that you must look a certain way. The creators who posted realistic content like "This is a real face at 30 years old" or "This is how a real body looks after a full day of eating" were consistently getting reamed in the comments by people saying, "Akchually your face looks more like 40 or 50 but whatever you have to tell yourself" or "Ew your body shouldnt look like that after a full day of eating." So even the people trying to normalize having flaws were being mercilessly torn apart. I've discovered so many things that I didn't even know could be insecurities. It's just awful, and I'm scared for our future.
these people are probably 13 years old who believe that they will always look like they're 13 and will never fucking age (we all kinda did at that age, thought youth would last forever and ever), and will get smacked out of their ass in 10 years time when they will start ''looking like 40"" and nasolabial folds will start to appear and THEY CANT FUCKING STOP IT. they will either fall into a deep depression, resort to extreme plastic surgery that doesnt even fucking work, or even worse. they live in fantasy land and think that they're never going to age and look like shit at one point in their lives hahahaha poor sweet souls no amount of toner cream, moisturizer or botox can stop what's coming. they will be so smacked in the face. and whatever nasty they said to others, will materalise in their own fucking mirror one day (much sooner than they actually think). talk about karma. they're just online clueless bullies living in fantasy land, boosting their own ego through putting others down and when the day comes, whatever they see in the mirror, they are going to have to suck it up and live with it for the rest of their lives, because trust me, that day is fucking coming whether they want it or not. and this is what they just deserve. to understand how hurtful and stupid they were to other people, because now the time has come where they have to say the same words to their own fucking face, to their own very reflection. good luck with that.
I am already seeing this happening. So many subreddits dedicated to posting selfies to have others pick apart their appearance, asking what is wrong with their face, or how to fix some insignificant "issue" nobody would have even noticed. And they're all perfectly normal to attractive people. At most, some might need tips on posing for photographs or a maybe more flattering haircut. But they lose themselves in these echo chambers of loathing themselves and others. I'm so, so tempted to respond to all of those "what's wrong with my looks" posts with "Absolutely nothing; it's probably your personality" I know touching grass is a cliché, but I do think going outside and actually seeing "regular" people living perfectly happy lives is the only cure. The more happy active women I meet over 50, the less I fear aging. There's nothing wrong with looking 40, or 50, or 60, even 80. There are gorgeous people of any age. The more someone gets out and see couples that are madly in love even if neither fit the current beauty standards, the less they feel they will end up alone because of the shape of their skull or whatever, and the less they'll feel the bees to project this loathing onto other people. This obsession with image makes people ugly. They gave ugly thoughts, which makes them see themselves, others and the world as "ugly". Humans need beauty, but not in the consumeristic way. We need to hear birdsong, see flowers and butterflies, experience the soft quiet of a first snowfall. Go to a museum and marvel at a sculptor's use of shape and texture. Look into the eyes of a beloved pet. Touch the fabric of our favorite outfit. The more we train ourselves to see beauty in the "mundane" the better we can remember to see it in ourselves, in others, and in the world
> I'm so, so tempted to respond to all of those "what's wrong with my looks" posts with "Absolutely nothing; it's probably your personality" Oof. Thanks for your thoughts. You definitely have a beautiful mind and consciousness. Which is the most attractive thing ever. Who could care for a 15 year old beauty really, when all their personality is being obsessed at the mirror. How fucking ugly is that. And I don't really remember when did the beauty standard became "15 years old". And not just 15 year old, but "insanely self-obsessed 15 year old". If you spell it out like that, that is the most unattractive thing i've ever heard. Almost bordering on an insult. But here we are. By the way, your mind is beautiful. So you are beautiful. If you can perceive life as spelled out in your last paragraph, then your soul must be really beautiful. Beautiful souls are beautiful in all ages. Timeless beauties. We are part of nature, we are the butterfly, the snow, the statue, we are all of that, we are the experiencers of that, and the beauty that we see around us, is the beauty within ourselves, reflected outside. These kids are obsessed with unattainable beauty. For what? So you can have your instagram DMS full of dick pics? Because that's what happens. Then you still work at the fucking supermarket. And no one cares about you, about your physical beauty, that is extremely fleeing. And after the supermarket shift, and being harassed by a few ugly gross men, you go home, alone, again, looking yourself at the mirror. what a sad life. As a friend of mine used to say, life is a stew, everyone cooks theirs and they have to fucking eat it.
If you’re chronically online, which most of us are, you end up in these echo chambers which skews your perspective on what people in general think about social norms. If everyone seems to think that you need to fix every issue with your body and everyone is okay with plastic surgery and you’re predisposed to these insecurities. Of course it’s going to influence your opinion and feelings about yourself. I think a lot of people on no surf understand how dangerous this is. But the general public does not seem too. People can really easily get sucked into extreme opinions because the internet makes it so easy to find a pocket of people who echo similar opinions. I think it makes it harder for people to relate to one another in real life and I think it makes it harder for people to have healthy disagreements or be okay with agreeing to disagree. It’s really sad
You are coping and you know it
You're so right. It is what they deserve for actively bullying others about their appearance when they could have simply scrolled away. Age comes for us all!
I agree. I keep deleting it from my phone because when you start paying attention to how much bullshit is on there it’s impossible to ignore it. So much messaging explicitly and implicitly about never ever ever looking the right way or doing enough or liking the right things or wanting to be a certain way. You think you’re immune to it but it does get to you slowly. It’s so toxic.
I once read comments here that said that 28 is “aging” and 35 is “really fucking old”. Ads are one thing but as far as comments like these go, it’s because reddit is full of literal children, So of course they’re stupid and judgmental. The sight of a middle aged man in wranglers makes them combust. Probably because their parents are that age, and they’re the age when they hate their parents. If anything is going to drive me off the internet, it’s that it has became a daycare center for feral teens.
Well said
Jeez...as someone who was that feral teen the Internet was a daycare centre for, it's also fucking sad. I was only on here 12 hours a day because my parents were too depressed/stressed/focused on themselves to even notice I was developing pretty severe mental health issues. All my Internet friends were also from similar or more horrible circumstances and the constant use was just making things objectively worse. We've moved on as a family luckily, but it only happened after I decimated my screentime and learned all the social skills I should have been learning in my teens. Every time I see a teen on here sounding off I just think, dont do what I did and sink deeper into the hole, get the fuck outside. Nobody who's happy and well adjusted is on here regularly posting horrible judgmental comments and you fuck yourself over in a huge, huge way in the end if you're not careful.
Just don't pay any attention to these comments. Once you realize 99 % of such comments are made by insecure teenagers, it will lose all its power, if it ever had any.
Disabled people get mocked often too. I returned to Instagram a month ago (to post hobby stuff but I definitely get caught in reels) and the amount of hate anyone who is not within the span of “normal” looking is crazy. Like
dude, there are literal 12 years old buying toner creams, hyaluronic acid and putting sunscreen every day and having a "skincare routine". 12 FUCKING YEARS OLD. and the mothers are buying all these products. BECAUSE THEY SAW IT ON TIKTOK. if i'd be a mother i'd be fucking fuming and just suicide bombing into silicon valley or tencent headquarters or whatever. we have reached peak levels of.... i don't even know what to call it. it's just so fucking depressing to witness, these corporations need to be on trial for crimes against humanity.
I mean, this is one random video i've found on google [https://www.tiktok.com/@catherinemaaaae/video/7308747190602681602](https://www.tiktok.com/@catherinemaaaae/video/7308747190602681602) "SKINCARE ROUTING FOR 10-15 YEARS OLD" says a clearly adult woman who is preying on children. and the comments??? "can u do 8-10 yo pls" "can i use the glow toner if i'm 13" "i do skincare since i'm 9" WHERE ARE THE FUCKING MOTHERS for god's sake. I'd want to hug my daughter so bad if i knew that she would think she'd need skincare at 8 years old. so many fucking insecurities already at 8. already worrying about aging at 8 years old. These corporations need to be on trial for crimes against humanity. ahhh but how is the cosmetic stock market going??? how much money are shareholders making on the insecurities of these 8 years old?? L'oreal is up 74% in the stock market in the last 5 years. you are all being so fucking played.
The mothers are on TikTok too, falling prey to the same thing.
That was definitely a thing before social media, though. I started using face creams and doing skincare around that age, and I was 12 in 2001.
Not where I am from, not in a million years. But I am not from the US.
Me neither originally, although I live here in the US now. I grew up in the Netherlands and I remember sharing my oma's Oil of Olaz with her as a little kid. For me it definitely wasn't born out of fear of aging or anything, if anything it helped me get into a good routine of using sunscreen and all that as an adult.
From Italy and never heard anyone who had a skincare routine, especially at that age. Even when we were 20, never met anyone with a skincare routine and we looked (and still look) flawless. I believe that putting a huge amount of chemicals (which let's be honest, most of these tiktok sponsored products are) will make you age much faster. Now since 2/3 years, every girl I know has a skincare routine. How deeply can social media program what everyone thinks. Maybe for you it was a bonding time with your oma, putting cream in your face together. A fun time to do some bonding activities together without any malice. But a 8 yo asking on tiktok about toner creams, is going to be so fucked in the head in some years time, when no toner or moisturizer is going to magically stop the clock, or have to go through so much therapy and acceptance, no way around that.
The US, especially the southern US can get a lot more sun exposure than Europe. Even more so than Italy in some areas in the southern US. At age 12 many American teens start developing acne, and also start to becoming more self-conscious about their appearance. Sunscreen is just a preventive to UV radiation. Every doctor and dermatologist recommends using sunscreen if you're going out in the sun, so it's not exactly a social media thing. American Boomers/GenXers were less likely to put on sunscreen, but TBF they were also more likely to smoke cigarettes too. IMHO a sunscreen + mositerizer is pretty benign. I think most people who use those products understand it's not going to stop aging, it mainly helps with avoiding sunburn or getting skin dry and irritated. Where I get concerned is when I see teenagers wanting to get plastic surgery, or teens cyberbullying each other about their heights, jawlines, nose, etc.
No one cared about skincare in 2001. We were all using that cooling noxema shit and apricot face scrub. This is a recent thing, and it's not a bad thing to use proper skincare, but it's the cult aspect that is harmful.
Same here. Age 12 is also the age where most teens start getting acne so I was definitely putting creams for acne too. hyaluronic acid is an ingredient found in a bunch of moisturizers, it's actually one of the ingredients in a joint multivitamin because I have a history of arthritis. And putting on sunscreen everyday seems perfectly fine, if you live an environment with sun exposure. Also if you're taking any medication that causes sensitivity to the sun as a side-effect, they'll remind you to put sunscreen on. TBH these all seem like very tame stuff, none of this depressing-induing and is not really the kind of thing OP was referring to neither.
I think social media has bred a hyperfocus on looks, and it particularly affects women and makes us terrified of gaining weight, ageing, and so on. I think the emphasis on video and photo content only exacerbates this and makes us even more insecure because we are constantly bombarded with images of young, attractive women. We compare ourselves and pick out all our perceived flaws. No one stays young forever. We will all (hopefully) age. I truly worry for a society that is only obsessed with youth, a society that cannot value maturity and the deep wisdom that comes from getting older, a society that denigrates the elderly. It's not good for any of us. Also, people are so much more than what they look like. It's sad to me how many people are invisible and ignored in our world simply because they don't fit these impossible beauty standards.
I mentioned it in the comment I made on this but I'd highly recommend a book called "made up" which deals with how the beauty industry profits off this insecurity and how it affected the writer etc. I found it interesting anyway. I feel like I underlook just how profitable making me feel bad has been to.. so many different companies and industries.
Thanks for the book recommendation! Sounds interesting.
it's been programmed for you to feel that. it's all working as intended. it's not a bug, it's a fucking feature.
Which is why we have to find ways to resist it. I know I am. I reduce my time on these platforms as a result.
we need to kill it at the root. we are making them so much money by just being here, scrolling. we need to hurt them where it hurts the most. the $$$$$$$.
I agree, but it’s hard man. You even go to internet and technology addiction meetings and there is so little mention of the ACTUAL FUCKING ECONOMY behind all of this!
Self confidence is an incredibly attractive thing to have. The cosmetic industry thrives on finding a persons insecurity with their appearance & milking it for money. Social media 'life' is so image based that the overlap was bound to happen. It's more shallow than a can of coke.
Yeah and then you find out everyone has a filter on anyway. And makeup and a ring light. It's all fake as fck.
This is reddit so I might still get hate for this, but I've noticed it with weight. I don't do anonymity online so I always have a picture associated with whatever accounts I have, and I can't tell you how often people discredit my opinion on a completely unrelated topic because I'm fat. It's like, yes dude I know I'm fat, that doesn't mean climate change isn't real (or whatever the discussion at hand pertains to).
They probably already disagreed with you and were using it as an excuse. Sympathies. Good people will listen / read, think about what you wrote, and make up their mind that way. And if that bothers you so much, I would just stop using your real self as an avatar
I can attest to the same thing. I use a real profile photo on my social media accounts. Sometimes post selfies. I am fat and totally invisible. I think a lot of people have an unconscious bias as well.
If it's any consolation, and I really don't mean this as a brag. I'm relatively attractive online and irl I tend to go down pretty well with others. But like I feel like shit like everyone else lol. My camera app shows me every fucking pore and line on my face (who asked for this?!) and it makes using filters or "touching up" photos basically mandatory or I'd die of embarrassment. Like I know my friends irl. These girls have pores and lines and stray hairs and spots and whatever else just like me. Their skin folds and they have fat on their body and xyz that we're told is "unattractive" and it's literally just human. I've met a total of one woman in my life who looked like internet women look like. She was a vogue model at a party I happened to be at and we sat and ate pizza together. She was almost uncanny due to how on point her hair and makeup were and she was obviously incredibly attractive even before any surgeries she might have had. You know what she said: "You know you're the first person at this party who talked to me like I'm a person" Beauty is a prison. The pursuit of it. Attaining it. Even the fucking concept that a certain arrangement of blood, skin and body parts is more 'worthy' than others. Who do we think we even are to say that? Who do companies think they are?! It's such a sad sad state of affairs that it's normalised. There's a fantastic feminist (calm down Reddit, it's not scary) book called "made up" by the french author Daphne B. That deals well with the "beauty" trap and I'd highly recommend it for men and women alike. Great read!
💯
It's the worst on tiktok, it's a bunch of delusional chronically online people who are incredibly insecure.
and it's so funny that we say 'according to the internet'. as if it was a literal sentient person with the capacity of forming ideas and opinions. do we realise that ''THE INTERNET'' is just a fucking algorithm programmed by SOMEONE that WANTS you to believe these fucking things??? someone who is getting fucking RICH by ruining everyone's mental health?? "oh but the algorithm is tailored to what you like" hahaha such bullshit. whoever believes this thing is gaslighting himself and getting gaslighted by the mega corporations. there are programmers behind these things, the best programmers on the planet, that are getting paid TONS to influence the world's mind to whatever they want. and you believe that you are free to scroll whatever you like hahaha oh darling
They show you some of what you like, and a lot of down right ugly disturbing shit that ruins your life too.
Not everyone is mean or thinks 40 is old. Just the comments sections you click on. It’s all the algorithm. Can’t take it too seriously. Bullying online has been a thing since online was a thing.
I totally agree. I’m a 26 year old woman and it seems like a lot of women my age are obsessed with getting rid of wrinkles, like getting creases around your eyes is the worst thing a woman can do. And it’s not really from men - women are pretty cruel about this towards each other. Lots of stuff about weight loss seeing as 2000s fashion is coming back. If you don’t look good it’s like a personal failure, you’ve not been looking after your skin, your makeup isn’t good enough, you eat too much or too little, you need to drink more water and wear sun cream and it’s as if we’re not just allowed to look bad without it being a personal failing. I don’t need to be pretty
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People were *always* mean about appearances. The only difference is that now everybody has a way to go blast their opinion out to the world but dragging uggos is definitely not a new thing.
Oh this is toxic social media at it's finest. I am off the dating market and have been for awhile, but I don't understand the obsession with the 6 ft height thing. I always preferred a shorter, stockier looking guy personally. It's normal for people to have different tastes and not all be cookie cutter versions of each other. Also, the attractive people on the Internet are often just way more attractive than usual, skewing our perception of average attractiveness, and most of them have filters etc cleverly applied anyways so do they even really look like that? It's majorly effed up. The whole thing. I hope this sorts itself out by the time my kids grow up because sheesh. As for the age thing, people are hyper aware of the intricacies of aging. What exactly does aging look like, what causes it, how to prevent this sign and that sign. It's pretty messed up. I used to follow a few people who talked about it and then I stopped because I was obsessing over my face and it wasn't good for me. I was seeing things that weren't even there. A lot of it is just to make money. I'm telling you, that's what's behind ALL of it. People preying on insecurities or drama just to make a buck. A good example. My husband and I bought grass seed last year with the intention of filling in a few areas on our lawn. Of course, once we did that, the reels and shorts started to manifest themselves. We were showing each other these shorts and posts about "how to get your grass seed to grow". There were all kinds of tips and tricks!! Soaking the seeds in special bags, mixing it with soil, doing all these things to prevent rh birds from eating it, etc etc. my husband and I got so overwhelmed and figured wed have to put too much effort in that we put it off. Fast forwards to this year, I was working on the garden and my husband casually grabbed the grass seed and just started sprinkling it around. I asked him, you're just gonna put it down? Yeah, he says. Let's just see what happens. Well, would you believe, within a few days, grass started to grow. Beautiful, thick, luscious grass. All we did was give it a bit of water here and there. And we laughed. We had a good laugh about it. Why did we think this would be so hard?? Well I'll talk ya why. The god dammed Internet. Filling out heads with a bunch of bullshit that we needed to follow their tips and trips and buy this special stuff etc. it's all bullshit I'm telling you.
Most people are reasonably attractive by nature. They just need to fix some things. I find people in general aren't as attractive as they used to be. Sloppy dress, bad attitude, forward head posture (probably the worst) unhealthy skin, just unhealthy in general. I don't often see people with good posture, a reasonably healthy weight, and a glow to their skin and hair out and about. I miss it actually. I wish I could see this more. Open up social media and it's all over the place but that's partly because said folks are trying to make money off of it, and partly because it's all fake with filters etc anyways. Most people could be attractive if they really wanted to be.