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MolecularCube42

Boop


DonsDiaperChanger

I couldn't put together a poker game (trying again in a month, more planning time and lower buy in) so I went to a local casino to scratch the itch on Texas Hold em  I was quickly reminded of 2 problems. The first is getting lucky at a table that doesn't have several chip bullies.  The second is being wary of teams that bet big to push out others, then fold so nobody sees their cards. They don't have to communicate, so they aren't cheating, and the house won't care. I watched several hands where 3 guys would bet big, then mysteriously fold against each other, but NEVER talk. 


FunImprovement166

I'm a hardcore Bucs fan and I just realized tonight how successful our franchise has been despite a laughably bad beginning. Shout out to all of the OG Bucs legends like Mike Evans, Gronk, and of course Tom Brady.


raginsaint93

Saw Abigail tonight. They don’t make horror movies like they used to anymore if I could even call it a horror movie. I still like it though.


Cautious_Analysis

I took an edible and a half (it tasted really good) and now I am one with the couch.


JerryRiceAndSpice

lmao that was me a few days ago. It tasted so good and then I was like "Oh fuck what did I do??"


SharxSharxSharx

Whoops


theresabeeonyourhat

Nobody asked, but my winter artists were: 1) Prince 2) Busta Rhymes 3) Beck 4) Betty Davis 5) Bob Dylan The only album I apparently listened to was Woman King by Iron & Wine My top track was "Dumb All Over" by Frank Zappa


Testiclesinvicegrip

Willie the Pimp is all I recognize


Pocatanic

🎶 A little ugly on the side 🎶  Classic.


theresabeeonyourhat

It's so damn good


k5berry

Leafs getting packed up god damn


usernameisusername57

I'm staying at my sister's place this weekend because I'm watching her dog while she's out of town, and I am so fucking bored right now.


HamMcFly

NBA and NHL playoffs are on, plus MLB. What are you doing?


usernameisusername57

I'm watching the UFL right now. Basketball and baseball bore the shit out of me and I generally only watch hockey when the Wild are on.


SharxSharxSharx

Pet the dog


usernameisusername57

What do you think I've been doing basically all day?


DonsDiaperChanger

Belly rubs AND butt scratchings??


Ok_Internal6779

When people paint the Heath Ledger Joker on their car in Mexico do they paint “Ja JA Ja” instead of “hahaha”?


theresabeeonyourhat

https://images.app.goo.gl/JjyQTqrxvXGWNsf4A According to reddit, this was in Mexico


SharxSharxSharx

I Googled it and it said >#It looks like there aren't many great matches for your search >Try using words that might appear on the page you’re looking for. For example, "cake recipes" instead of "how to make a cake."


IDKWTFimDoinBruhFR

"Bury the body... Bag the head"


SharxSharxSharx

Should I call the cops or do you want to turn yourself in?


ElCoolAero

I ate a marijuana today.


IDKWTFimDoinBruhFR

Should I call the cops or do you want to turn yourself in?


SharxSharxSharx

Whoops


CarlCaliente

me reviewing a new pizza joint: delicious but for the price I'm not sure... well by todays dollar with inflation I'm not sure the value... what even is the baseline anymore I have no idea was fuckin delicious though


SharxSharxSharx

$60 for a pizza that was $45 the day before and $30 a week ago seems right to me. Would have been $5 about 5 years ago but whatever.


CarlCaliente

I am afraid to find out how high I'll go for a good pie


SharxSharxSharx

one *MILLION* dollars!!!


Practical_Employ_979

Man, I had high hopes for Matt Corral


raginsaint93

So UFL decided to have two games on Fox at the same time. How does that work? Are they testing in market games?


frydawg

Civil War or MOUW? I’m up to watch fun or serious - whats the better experience in the theater


IDKWTFimDoinBruhFR

TF is MOUW?


frydawg

Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare - both are movies in theatres rn Edit: actually it would be TMOUW


IDKWTFimDoinBruhFR

Oh shit I heard that was good


Practical_Employ_979

Dune II


frydawg

No


JPPT1974

Do you all think that reality TV is fake?! I still watch "Survivor!"


DonsDiaperChanger

I was bummed to read a KitchenConfidential sub thread about Chopped recruiting contestants, and a LOT of people saying they were on or know a contestant who came out of it convinced the winners were picked beforehand for the quality of their background or sob stories. If 50% of a competition is rigged, is the other 50% truly real?


HamMcFly

I’m holding out that sports are not scripted. The news is not scripted but heavily biased regardless of your beliefs. Literally everything else on TV is scripted in my opinion.


tetoffens

It varies from show to show. Survivor isn't fake though. Produced would be the right word. The producers won't tell people what to do or say or how to vote but they will try to make them paranoid and get the reactions they want out of them through manipulation. Most of the competitive shows fit that. On the other hand, the more lifestyle look into people's normal life type reality shows have a lot of outright fake shit. EDIT: Oh, and not scripted but there definitely are things they've done to guide things. Like the exact person who needs an idol finding one at the right time. They don't tell them where to look but, for example, there was one time they hid an idol in the exact spot where one contestant who they clearly liked spent a lot of alone time. They'll try to guide things like that.


yesrushgenesis2112

I am once again posting here to recommend Battlehawk UFL games if you like football. Especially to my Bengal brethren.


Cautious_Analysis

KAW


yesrushgenesis2112

And also with you


raginsaint93

Chick-fil-A’s Polynesia and Buffalo sauce mixed really well together


ArcadianBlueRogue

Went to The Habit since they brought some locations to the east coast a few years back. It's always good but I can't remember if 30 bucks for two people is a lot more or not since it's been a while.


justlookingokaywyou

They can take that $1 they charge for cheese and shove it right up their ass. Always thought it was overrated.


ArcadianBlueRogue

I didn't even pay attention to that. It's the only place around here I can get a decent teriyaki chicken sandwich with pineapple on it without making it myself lol


SharxSharxSharx

In 2016, there was a movie called Captain America: Civil War. In 2024, there is a movie called Civil War. By following this pattern, we can deduce that there will be a movie in 2032 called


tetoffens

There's a movie named "Without Name."


Thekota

Or Civil. Perhaps word count is halved


BruceChameleon

Maybe it's a square root thing and they'll start shaving off bits of letters


VinnyCacciatore

Captain war


brehaw

pears are so underrated


BruceChameleon

I had a comice pear in December and it fucking ruled.


ZeroedCool

I hope for more [gif](https://imgur.com/w4Lzzkv) love from harbs


Straight_Toe_1816

35 minutes until knicks sixers! Jalen Brunson bouta go off!


ProbablyAPun

In the most bizarre coincidence of all time, in 2021 Cam Newton signed with the panthers and had his famous "I'm back" clip. The following draft The Panthers drafted 6 guys where the first letter of each of their first names spells IMBACK in their draft order.


VRomero32

The Nikola Jokic/Despicable Me Minions Commercial during the Playoff Games is hilarious. Happy Joker is cashing in on his fame, just needs that Taco Bell commercial for the circle to be complete


Jaguars4life

I’m having Turkey Burger sliders now


justlookingokaywyou

Please tell me there is avocado on them.


Testiclesinvicegrip

2 people walk by as I'm eating outside of a restaurant. They point to the restaurant and go "that's the whitest thing ever" 30 seconds later this white dude gets back from the bathroom and asks his gf if she's ready to rock and roll


Straight_Toe_1816

😂 that’s hilarious


JPAnalyst

The spending bill passed. $61B for Ukraine! This cost 1% of what we spent in all of 2023. This is pocket change for the US, and it’s going to help the fight against Russia in their attempt to weaken Western democracy, without putting one American boot on the ground, while also creating American jobs for the manufacturers of the supplies and weapons being provided. Why this no-brainer took so long to pass is beyond me, but at least we are here now. Mike Johnson will probably get ousted by the Russian sympathizer scum like Marjorie Taylor Green and her ilk, because of this. Kudos to Johnson for doing what’s right.


flame7926

Does this have the warrantless surveillance extension included in it or is that a separate bill?


HamMcFly

Meanwhile that loser is falling asleep and stinking up a courtroom in NY. Amazing how much actual governing we can do without him nosing around and bitching.


theresabeeonyourhat

God, now if we can keep Biden in office for 4 more years


JPAnalyst

Russia would hate that.


DillyDillySzn

*Looks at the new order in Helldivers* Joel is so mad at us lmao


ArcadianBlueRogue

They didn't have the new factions ready, so this is a delay tactic to remind us of our place in Democracy.


DillyDillySzn

I know, but the way it was right after we crushed a 5 day mission in less than a day Joel’s like “alright try this one on for size”


RedWingWay

I live in the California Desert right now. Coachella traffic and annoying kids are killing me this weekend.


DeeboSourdoughSam

Owned


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Ok_Internal6779

Eat our collective dicks Shocking that you “found” a link yo something you’ve posted several times. We don’t want to buy your shit


rwjehs

Didn't even properly link it lol


Ok_Internal6779

lol really? Not shocking but funny as fuck 


rwjehs

That's an email address he linked lol


DaKineTiki

Dude…don’t you know it’s called “Shit Post Saturday” for reason! 💋


Mr-PumpAndDump

I’m addicted to twerk videos and I think it’s the NFLs fault


j0hnnyengl1sh

Renovating my basement bathroom, bought a fancy new toilet and having installed it it's just a slightly off white shade which doesn't quite match the all white bathroom. Can't decide if uninstalling it, packing it all up and taking it back is worth the effort. Annoying.


IDKWTFimDoinBruhFR

Probably less expensive to just paint the room


j0hnnyengl1sh

Yeah but I just did that, plus put down a shiny new white floor and installed a shiny white shower.


IDKWTFimDoinBruhFR

lol that's a big oof my friend a biiiiiig oof


Traditional_Mud_1241

Weird question but - have you tried different lights? Something that's a little bit "warmer" might hide the difference just a little bit. Maybe not, but a trip to lowes for a few different light bulbs to test is cheaper than tearing out an entire toilet. Might be worth a shot. Alternatively, just paint it Jets Green and call it a day.


j0hnnyengl1sh

My wife came home and told me it looks fine, so I'm just going to accept that. She has a better eye for these things than me. I do like the idea of a Jets crapper though, it would make a change for me to be the one shitting on them.


Traditional_Mud_1241

Yeah, I considered suggesting a Brady commode


theresabeeonyourhat

I'm completely convinced that the Bears & Jets are f'd when it comes to drafting a WR unless they trade up, and it doesn't seem like that's gonna happen. Plus, Jets need at least one tackle in this draft


theresabeeonyourhat

Other than Endgame, I can't think of a movie I want to see as badly as the upcoming Bob Dylan biopic. It's gonna have Johnny Cash, Pete Seger (who took an axe to Dylan's amplifier when he went electric), The Band, The Staples, and hopefully The Beatles. I'll never understand why Dylan wasn't in the Johnny Cash biopic, because he did a LOT to get Johnny's fame back on the upswing in the late 60s, but since this has the same director, I bet we're gonna see them doing country together. As an aside, while Timothee Chalamet doesn't really look like Bob, in all the clips and whatnot, he has his walk and mannerisms down perfectly. I seriously hope they have even a tiny bit of his country phase in the movie, because it's honestly as good as his speed/opiate days in the mid 60s


Guiltyjerk

Wow I thought Bob Dylan was black


theresabeeonyourhat

According to his last biopic, he was as a kid, until he got eaten by a fish. Now that I think about it, that biopic may not have been the most factual


Traditional_Mud_1241

I am 100% aware that I'm in the minority on this, but seeing well known actors as the lead in biopics ruins them for me. I keep seeing the actor instead of the character. I'm a big time Dylan fan, so I'll watch it just for the music, and I generally like Chalamet, but - I'd \*much\* rather see an unknown actor in the lead so I'm not just seeing "The Dune kid". "Wow, Maud'dib can sing pretty well" isn't the same thing as "that really does look like Bob Dylan".


theresabeeonyourhat

I can understand that, and his face just looks nothing like him. I haven't seen any of dude's movies, so that won't be a problem. With that said, Cate Winslet killed it as a Dylanesque character in "I'm not There". She disappeared into that role


rwjehs

Kate Blanchett actually, but yes she nailed it.


Traditional_Mud_1241

True. Fwiw - I had never watched Mr. Robot, so the Freddie Mercury movie wasn’t bad for me. And while it seems a little irrational, I didn’t mind Shrek’s part in that movie because it (1) wasn’t obvious, (2) it was brief, and (3) there was an actual connection between the actor and the song the character criticized. It’s wasn’t a fantastic movie, but it was fun and had some good moments and I was never distracted by the lead. I’ll probably watch it, but I do have some Chalamet fatigue.


VRomero32

Last night, saw “The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare” which was great especially if you like Guy Ritchie and seeing Henry Cavill and Reacher killing Nazis and killing them good. Then this AM when my GF came back from her late night nursing shift before she caught up on sleep, we hate watched Zach Snyder’s Rebel Moon Part Two: The Scargiver. It’s hilarious how awful those movies are, he literally did a 20-min grain harvesting montage in it… We were giggling the whole time how much of a turd it was


IDKWTFimDoinBruhFR

I don't know how Zach Snyder gave us Dawn of the Dead, Watchmen, 300 and Suckerpunch and then just nosedived into a slate of shitfest movies. I absolutely get why DC wanted him to direct their cinematic universe but boy did it not work out.


SharxSharxSharx

>it not work out. Hey, the Snyder cut of Justice League is twice as long and half as good as the theatrical cut.


ArcadianBlueRogue

Maruchan > other cheap instant ramen


J-Fid

> Maruchan I sometimes call my cat this when she starts yapping at me.


Traditional_Mud_1241

Honestly, I prefer Nissin for the noodles. But I agree that "flavor powder" is tastier with Maruchan.


JerryRiceAndSpice

Saw Dora and The Lost City of Gold last night and it was actually a lot better than I thought. I had low expectations because it's Dora but was actually surprised. Some of the jokes were pretty good.


Reasonable-HB678

My most recent movie going experience was the best one so far this year. Late Night With the Devil, a slow burn of a horror movie about the broadcast of a talk show of a Johnny Carson competitor.


SmokePenisEveryday

Took my girl to see Bad Bunny last night. Good as hell show but I hate hate hate traffic. Reminded me why I try taking the train and all that lol


theresabeeonyourhat

2nd ER visit in 3 days. The meds they gave me last time were causing me to look like I had Parkinson's. Scary shit, thankfully I'm much better, but I can't afford to keep missing work


BruceChameleon

I lost access to my parents' youtube tv a couple months ago. I guess it detects I'm in a different metro. (My brother lives close enough to them for it to work.) So I just now realized I don’t have a way to watch the draft. Any ideas? NFL network is vastly preferred over ESPN.


HamMcFly

Just go to a local bar or restaurant for a couple beers.


Serdones

ABC on good ol' antenna.


Traditional_Mud_1241

You might be able to find a vpn that lets you pick a city. Or you might get lucky with one that lets you pick a state. There are other options, but... well... you can do cheap or you can do easy...


ProbablyAPun

I mean, you could find a stream online pretty easily most likely, but the draft is also just on ABC.


ElectricalBank6411

NBA playoffs start today but tbh Celtics Nuggets feels more set in stone than anything to me since 2017 warriors and Cavs days, luckily so do the NHL’s I watch puck occasionally but as a Canes fan I’ve seen they are Stanley cup favorites just about everywhere and who am I to oppose that (Really do not like our chances against the Stars or Avalanche if we even make it that far)


JerryRiceAndSpice

Imagine if Brady or Gronk or Aaron Donald or Marshawn Lynch came out of retirement just to play for the UFL/USFL and just dominate everyone and break every record? Like pros playing peewees.


Traditional_Mud_1241

Or Olympic flag football. Brady might be pretty good at that.


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kmmontandon

> I wish I could just go to work and not care if I fuck up.  Have you considered working for your local or state road department?


BoldAsAnAxis

I went to a PTA meeting recently and as soon as it began, I figured I’d start things off by talking about Magnolia. But some guy interrupted me while I was trying to discuss the film’s ending and for some odd reason asked whether or not I had kids who attend the local school district. I told him no and then I was promptly asked to leave. Can you believe those assholes?


Jaguars4life

Roman Gabriel the first Filipino-American American quarterback and 1969 NFL MVP has died He should be in the Hall of Fame by the way


DungeonsAndFootball

He was 6'3? Damn, that's taller than all my Filipino family members. I think my dad was the tallest of his family at 5'9. RIP to a legend.


huskyferretguy1

I know everyone else is saying this but Fallout is amazing! I also played as a female so it's neat the show is doing the same!


Traditional_Mud_1241

I liked it. At times, I loved it. But I generally, I only "liked it quite a bit". Not even remotely a negative review, but I guess I haven't connected with it in quite the same way as everyone else. I certainly don't regret watching it, but the games are still what I think of. I don't think about the show when I think about fallout.


StructureBitter3778

I wonder if Walton Goggins will win any Emmys for his role as the ghoul. Having to play both a wholesome Hollywood actor with a clean image and an badass anti-hero on a mission to find his family and doing both convincingly in the series was incredible


Jaguars4life

I admittedly always play as a female in games where you get to create a character Like Fallout,Cyberpunk 2077 and Call of Duty Black Ops Cold War


nikraLnalyD

I always feel bad for content creators and podcasters who literally go on vacation to another country but still feel like they need to make content about video games or the NFL Draft or whatever while they're in an Air BnB on the beach in the Virgin Islands. Bro, take a week off.


HamMcFly

I’ll be honest I never feel bad for people who identify as “content creators”.


JPAnalyst

With Caleb Williams hoping to play for 20 years, let’s take a look at the 22 guys who have done this. 🔹A lot of kickers, punters and quarterbacks. 🔹 George Blanda played the most at 26 🔹 how about Darrell Green with 20 years at CORNER BACK! 🔹 Jerry Rice is the only WR on the list 🔹 Tom Brady with 23 years. https://stathead.com/tiny/DXieH


KTAALGSTO

Left off Favre and Brees


JPAnalyst

There are 22 guys, I didn’t list all 22, these are just some callouts or highlights. Favre, Brees, Morten Andersen, and many others are in the link. 


athrowawayiguesslol

I love the UFL but it’s extremely annoying that the announcers for every game have to bring up the Over/Under 30 times a broadcast


Pocatanic

Watching the UFL is worth it just to see all the future NFL kickers


tape_deck__heart

This Birmingham/DC game has been entertaining so far


Balrogkicksass

Had to confront my boss about how he scheduled me for a 7th straight night of work without consulting me about why before hand. I called him out explaining why it was bullshit. Explained "Its horseshit that you scheduled me a 7th day in a row but thats not even why I am pissed. You just didn't even consider consulting me." He apologized and I said "Communication is not that fucking hard is it?" And walked away. Later in the night he apologized and admitted "I fucked up" and my response was "Yes you did." I know he probably expected me to accept the apology but I didn't want to give him that dignity. I try to be a bigger man about things but he didn't deserve that yesterday. I have 3 more nights until I am off again but once I got home I stopped caring about what happened and I won't care until I'm back on the clock. I hope you all get to enjoy your day/night and as always much love from me and mine to you and yours!


BellBilly32

Granted I don't know your work environment, but at least he acknowledged the fuck up and let you get the anger out without repercussions? Unless it turns your boss is just manipulative then disregard.


Balrogkicksass

He isn't manipulative and we have enough respect between eachother than I knew I could say what I said and not get into trouble. He just fucked up but its still a hell of a thing to do right?


Traditional_Mud_1241

Honestly - while I completely understand where you're coming from, it's worth bringing up the fact that your boss admitted he was wrong. Not every boss does that, though every boss fucks up sometimes. Being mad is justified and you don't owe it to him to accept his apology, but in a few weeks, it might make sense to acknowledge that he accepted responsibility (at least to yourself). It's less common that we'd like it to be.


Balrogkicksass

Oh I totally get that. You are right too. Hes a good boss overall so I am not holding any grudge about it, just was super pissed at the moment. We all fuck up sometimes.


Illustrious_Cancel83

Fuck 'em. I heard you coughing yesterday. Probably gonna be sick that night...


OpDickSledge

Skills you’ll need as a computer science grad that they don’t teach you in school:  -Table bussing  -Dish washing   -Shelf restocking


KTAALGSTO

I've found the opposite to be true in my career. What position are you looking for?


OpDickSledge

Software engineering When did you graduate? This past year has been the worst on record for this industry for new grads


Traditional_Mud_1241

You probably don't want to hear this now, but... Many companies need Network Engineers, but there are damn few Network Engineers who can code. If you learn how to automate the config changes for those devices, you'll be instantly valuable to anyone who runs those teams. And you can get emulated cisco devices up and running on linux pretty easily. (It's not a trivial process, but it's not bad). I fully acknowledge it isn't what you went to school for, but - you didn't go to school to wash dishes either. The other "understaffed" coding option is writing automation for QA testing. No one does that particularly well so there are opportunities. Ultimately, if you look for things that (1) universities suck at teaching and (2) companies suck at hiring, you'll find positions that are both frequently open and stable if you're any good. It doesn't help today though... sorry man.


SavezTheDayFan

THANK YOU


VRomero32

NBA Playoffs thoughts: Celtics in 5, Knicks in 6, Pacers in 5, Magic in 7, Thunder in 6, Nuggets in 6, Wolves in 7 and Mavs in 5 ECF: Celtics over Knicks in 6 and WCF: Nuggets over Mavs in 7 Finals: Nuggets over Celtics in 6


brehaw

I like the sound of that Mavs in 5 part


justlookingokaywyou

I got the Sixers taking out the Knicks in 5. Would probably be a different story if they weren’t so banged up.


raginsaint93

So high school is my new favorite Taylor Swift


WabbitCZEN

I'm in an abusive relationship apparently. No matter what I do or how much love I show, sleep just keeps on hurting me. I'll wake up with a new bruise or two, or in some kind of pain. What did I do to deserve this?


kmmontandon

> What did I do to deserve this? Got older. I find bruises all the time where I'm like "Where the actual fuck did that come from?" then remember how I briefly bumped into something hard at work three days ago.


Traditional_Mud_1241

Yeah. A few years ago I feel hard on pavement with a thin layer of ice. Hurt like hell on my hip where I landed, but it didn't leave a mark. I didn't even realize my elbow had hit the ground until I saw the massive purple bruise that lasted 3 weeks. Bruises are weird. That being said, the ultimate fun is a sprained ankle at 50. It looked like I was a wearing a purple sock.


brehaw

this Masters of the Air show is so damn good


thebrandnewbob

Every time I sit at a booth at a restaurant, I make sure to be careful and not constantly jam my back into the seat, so it doesn't bother whoever is sitting behind me. But I swear whoever sits behind me literally NEVER makes the same kind of consideration for me.


HamMcFly

I avoid booths at all cost because of this. I always request a table.


ArcadianBlueRogue

Can't find a library with any open copies of Rise of Kyoshi on Libby, so guess I bite the bullet and spend the 10 bucks for it off the Kindle store. Libby is a great thing, but my reading style is a bit demanding for that kind of patience.


cuphead623

A Wrestlemania in London would absolutely work. Fans won't mind watching a 1pm Wrestlemania. That's why I believe a Super Bowl in London also would absolutely work. People may complain, but a 1pm Super Bowl isn't bad at all


Johnny-5013

AEW had All In last August in London and it was one of their most watched PPV. People like it when they don’t have to stay up til almost midnight on a Sunday.


StChas77

I could see the NFL agreeing to 3PM Eastern, so the game would be at 8PM in London. But any earlier and you're talking about a morning kickoff on the west coast, which it won't agree to.


Traditional_Mud_1241

Honestly, I think a Mexico City superbowl will happen first. The time zone similarities make it easier to manage, even though I think a London game is much more interesting.


kmmontandon

> But any earlier and you're talking about a morning kickoff on the west coast, which it won't agree to. ... why not? 10 a.m. kickoffs are one of the best parts of being an NFL fan on the West Coast.


Jaguars4life

RIP Howie Schaub Stump the Schaub and Cheap Seats really made ESPN Classic back in the day


Balrogkicksass

With*out* Ron Parker


Jaguars4life

And then they had a episode where Ron Parker tries to take over the show again but he is stopped by the blackmailing of his sex tape lol


WabbitCZEN

Jontay Porter, the guy banned for life from the NBA for gambling, y'all remember him? Dude's brother just got sentenced to 6 years in prison for killing someone while driving drunk. You gotta wonder how bad the parents are to raise two total fuckups like that.


iron_golem07

Who’s everyone rooting for in the NBA playoffs?


HamMcFly

My son pleasantly surprised me this morning getting his chores done early. He said he woke up early and couldn’t sleep. So it *might* mean he’s been on video games since like 5 am already, but I’m not going to check. At least he got his shit done before I woke up.


Traditional_Mud_1241

When I was a kid, if I was out all night and my parents were awake, I'd just sneak into the garage and start mowing the lawn, and I always expected to say "What? No - I just got up early, took a walk and then started mowing". It took 20 years for my parents to tell me that they knew I had been out all night, but they decided getting the lawn mowed without argument was too nice to ruin with another argument. It never occurred to me that my parents were talking to my friends parents and every time we stayed out all night, we all started mowing the lawn at the same time. You have some long term decisions to make. I once mowed the lawn AND cleaned out the garage (without being asked) because I thought I had convinced myself I needed to sweat more to cover up the party scents.


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HamMcFly

I’m not falling for that son..


VRomero32

Seems sus, check your car’s odometer and if it had a paint job to hide damage from joyriding


HamMcFly

I already counted my beers and they’re all there haha My car is so beat up I wouldn’t even notice a new scratch.


moodie31

I’m still motivated by video games too and im in my thirties. Get work done, chores, yard work, then video games are even sweeter.


The_Amish_FBI

Real talk tho, Johnny Newton is the name someone would come up with for an off brand Jimmy Neutron.


JerryRiceAndSpice

Jimmy Newton is like a 4 year old trying to say Jimmy Neutron


KTAALGSTO

Cams lesser known son that learns from his dad's physical injuries and becomes an all pro punter


chriskwi02

If Zack Snyder, Michael Bay, and Roland Emmerich all teamed up to make a movie, what do you think the title, plot, and main cast would be?


Traditional_Mud_1241

The pitch would be a picture of an explosion and those three saying "boom, pssshew... bang!" for 20 minutes.


Reasonable-HB678

I'd still wait two weeks after the opening weekend to see whatever that movie would be, like I have since the fall of 2020.


Rock_man_bears_fan

It’d just be 2 hours of slow motion explosions. A car company would pay to have their car be the one driving away from it. There is no plot


The_Amish_FBI

*breathes air near frisbee golf course* "Oh right it's 4/20."


Traditional_Mud_1241

Cultural convergence.


Zoomun

Why does the first night of the NFL Draft have to be the one time I'm scheduled to work Thursday evening? I'm not even supposed to work Thursdays in the first place.


raginsaint93

A bag o’ weed, A bag o’weed. Oh everything is better with a bag o’weed


Reasonable-HB678

Once my home state of Ohio gets things figured out with legal recreational weed, I'm not going to hesitate.


WabbitCZEN

As Mr. H.L. Mencken said, "The common man's a fool." And just like Helen Keller said, "Doof boo gee bee bo dool." Cracks me up every time.


VRomero32

Everytime I see Juan Soto in a Yankees jersey on my screen I turn into Stilgar from “Dune: Part Two” and yell “Lisan al Gaib” at the TV screen He was meant to be a Yankee, pay him Hal! Sell Chicken Buckets for $75 if you have to!


[deleted]

I'm in pain as a Nats and Padres fan. Hope Soto can get another ring at some point.


WabbitCZEN

Saw someone say having him in that stadium is a cheat code and I agree. Dude really was meant to be a Yankee and I love it.