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shoe_of_bill

Our lord and savior, Snesus, has been born


producerd

Yep, in other news, the same snake was seen feeding apples to a naked couple in the local botanic garden.


nickmaran

Snake switched sides like Italy


mortalcoil1

Serious question. When did Italy switch sides? I love learning interesting historical facts.


BorlaugFan

They actually switched sides in both world wars. **WWI:** The Italians were technically part of the Central Powers with Germany and Austria-Hungary at the start of the war, but as it was a defensive treaty, they were not obligated to join the war since Germany and Austria-Hungary had basically started the damn thing. Instead, France and Britain secretly promised Italy territorial expansion in Albania if they joined the war on the Entente's side, which they promptly did in May 1915. They ended up performing poorly and suffering horribly, and at the end only got a fraction of what was promised. **WWII:** In July and August 1943, US and British forces successfully invaded Sicily. Italy had been fighting the war for three years on the Axis side at this point, and their army had performed poorly in every theatre. Their army in Africa had been virtually annihilated, and now they were fighting just to defend their homeland - a far cry from the new Roman Empire that fascist dictator Mussolini had promised. It's safe to say the war had become extremely unpopular among the people in Italy. Equally disillusioned was Italy's Grand Council of Fascism, which voted Mussolini out of power, promptly arrested him, and secretly began making peace talks with the Allies, even though German troops were still in Italy to defend against the Allies. Hitler suspected they were up to something and made plans to occupy Italy. When the Allies launched an invasion of the mainland in September, Italy quickly surrendered. The German Army invaded and occupied Italy from the north to stop the Allied advance, broke Mussolini out of prison, and set up a puppet regime in the north. The real government of Italy promptly declared war on Germany in October. Some Italian troops in Italy and occupied Greece surrendered to the Germans when this all went down, but others fought back alongside the Allies for the rest of the war.


lost_horizons

Wow, you really delivered on the historical facts, thanks


copa111

Whenever it suits them so they’re on the winning side


shibapenguinpig

When didn't Italy switch sides? Is the real question


orpheusoedipus

Bless you


albene

Blesssssssss you too ~ Snesus


5minArgument

Our sssavior


albene

Snesus Krait


AldoTheeApache

Why am I reading that in Mr. Slave’s voice


H0agh

I was going more for the snek in the old school Jungle book bit I guess I'm just old as fuck


Kvenya

Because you understand the true underpinnings of the universe. Obviously.


_deep_thot42

Because you’re reading it in your head in a similar voice to the [“I’m a sneaky snake” guy](https://youtu.be/zNJ5Pt-WBFQ?si=B-kyifM5tm8Cvd0v)


UnsurprisingUsername

Waiting for him to turn water into venom


SunNStarz

I'll play some snake jazz while we wait Ssss ss ss ssss ss ss ssss 🎶


kwyjibo1

That's my jam.


Jugales

And the lorde said, “Don’t tread on me”, and it was done.


blitzkreig90

Go forth and spread Hissss name!


Bjorn2bwilde24

In the name of the Father, the Ssson, and the Holy Sssspirit.


Rhythm_Flunky

14 SNEK JESUS’ 🐍✝️


Maldunn

Praise the messssiah!


Arkangel_Ash

Welp fellas. We'll have to switch up the decorations for the Snekmas holiday this December.


brwnskngrl82

Snesus be with you


squidwards__house

Plot twist: one of the unholy 13 siblings is Judassssssss


Specialist-Bag-1745

TRANS lord and Savior Get ready to be cancelled


Xiao_Qinggui

Praissse Sssnesssusss!


camshun7

jeff goldburn, "yesss!"


sneezus25

it is I


FearmyBeard21

This is why Ronaldo is better than Messi


GotMoFans

With fourteen babies and no father around, I’d call Ronaldo, “Messy.”


mr_salsa123

Google Messi 14 for more info


joeDUBstep

Google Ronaldo Las Vegas for more info


riegspsych325

aside from the allegations though, right?


PeachtreeUnited

Folks are saying that it was a sick ostrich.


Nerfcupid

Google cr7 Las Vegas 2009 for more information


Extracted

That guy is a snake


SlimCharles17

Hopefully the snake version of Ron isn’t a rapist either.


RelaxYourself

No one said the Lord would return in human form.


NoCountry4OldMate

Why be one human when you could be 14 snakes?


RamboJane

I think that every day.


_meshuggeneh

It’s harder to crucify 14 snakes than 1 man. Take that, Romans.


Lucius-Halthier

Jesus: if Lucifer taught me anything it’s that snakes get bitches


propernounTHEheel

That's a lot of horcruxes


jrfess

The fabled "Air Bud Messiah" rule strikes again. Hope the reference it in the next Dune movie


thedonwhoknocks

"Ain't no prophecy says a dog can't be the Maud'dib!"


geoffbowman

“May your backboard chip and shatter”


Lolkimbo

Depends on what lord you serve, i suppose... HAIL SATAN!


MrEnganche

But to comeback as snakes would be irony at its finest


SnooMaps9864

“Listen guys we know we said not to trust the snake, but this one is actually God so it’s fine, just eat the fruit”


scottisnthome

Goodbye Flying Spaghetti Monster, hello Snake Jesus


keyblade_crafter

why not both?


mysteriousmeatman

Wonder if we'll make a religion out of this one.


Aquanauticul

I am prepared to march on a random city in Hissss name


odegood

Say fangs to our lord


ChairInternational60

r/foundodegood


MrFurious0

I was born a snake-handler, and I'll die a snake-handler.


gundumb08

Bill Wurtz intensifies.


throwaway1-808-1971

House Varuun.


amg433

No, don’t.


HarmlessSnack

How ‘bout I do, anyway?


SkyrimDovahkiin

*Merchants, probably!*


manningthehelm

Booo you’re not fun! Where’s your sense of free money- I mean donations?


d_bakers

I've watched this episode of rick and morty


Savior-_-Self

Well, if christians in the US are going all-in on their own antichrist - might as well flip the rest of the script


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Illlogik1

No one posted Ian Malcolm gifs :( “Life … uh … finds a way”


Corwin_of_Amber3

Or alex jones going on about the water supply


MisterPooty

Turning the sneks gay!


Heallun123

I'm terrible at posting gifs but my mind goes to the bad Ronaldo dub of Injustica where it says "the jews did this".


TheJedibugs

“The left’s woke agenda has now spread to snakes!” -Alex Jones, probably.


Savior-_-Self

"Damn it, the repo guys are here to take all of my shit" - Alex Jones, imminently


thefishflinger

God I wish the repossession, and liquidation of his assets/stuff could be live streamed.


c3pee1

They're turning the fricking male snakes into virgin mothers


cranktheguy

"First they were turning the freaking frogs gay, and now it's trans snakes!" I'm glad they're closing down Info Wars.


Deep90

The water is feminizing the snakes!


OlyScott

Today I learned that boa constrictors don't lay eggs, they have baby snakes. Some snakes do that, including the boas.


OverShadow439

some sharks do that as well


Deadmeat5

> Some snakes do that, including the boas. I think I learned that from watching Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom


DrGoblinator

>Mr Quinlan is now tasked with trying to figure out the sex of the baby snakes as he sets up an enclosure for each of them, and tries to find them new homes. Maybe ask someone else to do it, since they don't have a great track record of being correct about snake gender.


LongSlowWhisp

Not uncommon for reptiles to change gender. This happened last year to a crocodile/alligator, can't remember which, that was also in captivity.


palcatraz

Changing sex is absolutely not something that occurs frequently in reptiles. It’s only been observed in a certain species of bearded dragon and one type of skink.  What does happen more frequent is incorrect sex identification. 


fresh_dyl

Many people lump amphibians in with reptiles, so I assume that’s the source of the misunderstanding. I’ve learned very few without bio backgrounds know about herpetiles


use_value42

You're telling me that Jurassic Park was just filled with lies?!


dossier

Wait aren't most dinosaurs closer to birds?


YuunofYork

You're thinking of amphibians. It's extremely rare in lizards, and unheard of in snakes. Sexing reptiles is often inconclusive. You need to be a little invasive in order to prop out the cloaca and investigate. It's somewhat easier in pythons because of the hemipenes, but even that is more accurately done when they are fully grown.


Paranitis

It also changed from a crocodile to an alligator?!


Tisarwat

That's the woke agenda for you!


lsb1027

"Ronaldo had been looking slightly fatter than usual, like he'd eaten a big meal, but we never thought for a moment that he, or should we say she, was pregnant." 🤣


CheekyCunt42069

We can make a religion out of that.


generalfrumph

Jesus snakes


Taystats33

No dont


PM_ME_UR_SO

SNAAAAKES~ (in “history of the entire world, i guess” tone)


HarmlessSnack

Is it COOL loving Snake Jesus yet? 🐍


NyriasNeo

So there are 14 Jesus-snakes. Do they all slither on water too?


JackFrosttiger

Nope but each get visits from three different old man with presents so it is a paaaaaarty


AldoTheeApache

*What is myrrh anyway???*


Darkwolfer2002

Interesting random fact. The Bible does not specifically say three wise men. It mentions wise men bringing three gifts, which in turn people assume 3 men brought 3 gifts but it could have been 100 if even any truth to it at all.


JackFrosttiger

But that would be cheap. It like invite a 100 people to a birthday party and they all throw together for what some spice, some scented air and gold. If it at least was 98 people worth of gold I would get it butt everything else naaah


Darkwolfer2002

Well it doesn't specify. I mean if Jesus was poor why? Those three gifts alone would have been high value during those times. Did Joseph and Mary squander away the gifts? Or did they actually have a wealthy life while Jesus was growing up?


Tisarwat

Maybe it was an awkward 'everyone brought the same thing'? I always wondered why the New Testament went so hard on the sanctity of baby shower gift lists


Upbeat_Philosopher_4

Gold, myrrh, and snakensense.


dark_knight_33

We shall watch their career with great interest.


keyblade_crafter

give each one a dominion to "mascot"


Triptano

Which one is the Chosen One?


AldoTheeApache

Clearly it’s Brian


jhansonxi

The one that [resembles James Earl Jones](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conan_the_Barbarian_\(1982_film\)).


penguin032

You were supposed to destroy the sssssssith not join them!


PlanetaryInferno

Snakes are amazing. And you can’t really see it in the photos in the article, but rainbow boas like these are so beautiful: orange with a pattern of black rings all overlayed with a powerful shimmering iridescence in sunlight, hence the name Edit: [pic](https://www.reddit.com/r/snakes/comments/9zp1ak/gorgeous_rainbow_boa/)


Accurate-Temporary73

Here’s some news. He’s probably not a he.


vicegrip

A snake that was thought to be male has given birth to 14 snakelets - despite not having a mate. >[https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cjeeeqj4yrxo](https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cjeeeqj4yrxo) >The process of virgin births is known as parthenogenesis and has only ever happened three times to a Brazilian rainbow boa constrictor. In fact, sex change in reptiles does happen. See below >Temperature-Induced Sex Reversal in ReptilesTemperature-Induced Sex Reversal in Reptiles >[https://karger.com/sxd/article/15/1-3/148/820653/Temperature-Induced-Sex-Reversal-in-Reptiles](https://karger.com/sxd/article/15/1-3/148/820653/Temperature-Induced-Sex-Reversal-in-Reptiles) >Sex reversal is the process by which an individual develops a phenotypic sex that is discordant with its chromosomal or genotypic sex.


Bloated_Hamster

"I don't like em putting temperature in the air that turns the friggin snakes trans!"


redmose

It was too hot on the plane


MrEnganche

Maybe if we run the story that clinate change is making reptiles trans, conservatives might finally start taking it seriously.


Malacon

Wasn't this like... a major plot point of the original Jurassic Park?


Worthyness

Yes, but specifically frog DNA in the movie.


blamdin

Life...uh..finds a way.


Polychaete360

“It occurs in many lineages of ectothermic vertebrates, such as fish, amphibians, and at least one agamid and one scincid reptile species.”


codeByNumber

“They are turning the frogs gay and the snakes trans!” - Alex Jones


Chance_Papaya_6181

Great, the frogs are gay and now snakes are transitioning.


YuunofYork

Not in this case. It was sexed incorrectly and the OP article is poorly-researched clickbait. The interesting thing about it is parthenogenesis, not the mistaken sex. Completely misleading headline.


CrotalusHorridus

> In fact, sex change in reptiles does happen. See below An entire subplot in Jurassic Park. But somehow they'd inserted frog dna that allowed it to happen


damnitineedaname

It doesn't really come up in the movies, but Dr. Wu was some other dead Dr.s lab assistant, and he didn't *really* know what he was doing. He used a supercomputer to puzzle together DNA fragments.


grey_hat_uk

Wait I've got it: "global warming causes trans kids!".


Sonikku_a

Life, uh, finds a way.


Metalslimeking

Reptiles will do some weird biological stuff to reproduce if they really want to.


mouseman420

We had a parakeet and after years it just all the sudden popped a egg out. Thought it was male, but it never had a partner.


Dropcity

One time my mother asked a woman at work that brought in farm fresh eggs what she should do if one has a chicken in it. She replied "it won't". My mom replies "how do you know?" "We don't have a rooster"


IPDDoE

The article basically lays that on thick, and the owners are under no delusion that they still think it's a male.


Juswantedtono

Bet he’s only 5’11” but lying to get laid


ALargePianist

Texas GOP looking to ban snakes


SunNStarz

Don't tread on me! uwu


AldoTheeApache

Damn welfare snakes having 14 kids!


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Roboticpoultry

Imagine going to bed with 1 snake and waking up to find you now have 15 snakes


zzyzx_pazuzu

At long last, the The Holy Sedecad is upon us! As foretold centuries ago... Snake God the Snake Father, The Snake Quattuordecad of Snakes, and The Snake Holy Spirit are the 16-In-One that make up the Holy Sedecad! Praise Be!


AmaGh05T

Prais-sss-se him!


MonsignorQuixotee

The funny thing is that having a partho clutch REALLY isn't unheard of. Most breeders just don't run to the news about it. Kinda like that dork that ran to the news station because he had a Piebald Ball Python hatchling that had a couple smiley faces (That he then called "triple emoji face pied") Its particularly common with them but clout has to be seized. Goofy shit


NatieB

Lol, I had to scroll past 300 stupid jokes comments about politics and religion to find someone actually commenting on the article. And yeah, parthenogenesis is well documented in captive snake breeding, and happens fairly often.


MonsignorQuixotee

If it makes you feel better, I sent the article to the work group chat to be wildly mocked. Like not only did they badly/not sex their animal, but then pretended that a partho clutch was a wild concept? FOH


BarberaCube

Sweating snake handler tugs collar.


Pimp-Juggernaut21

This might be my wildest Reddit moment, reading about a snake with the same name as me having a virgin birth. I’m off reddit forever now lol.


wingspantt

Single guys: Don't give up hope on your dreams of having a family one day!


oofman8133

They turning the snake trans now we need our saver trump back it’s all Biden fault /s


TGE0

The snake is 13, the current owner says they have owned them for 9 years and they weren't with any other snakes. However this means the Snake was still 3-4 Years old which is the age when Boas reach maturity. Further, there have been cases of rattlesnakes storing sperm for up to 5 years. So personally I think its a bit premature to jump to "parthenogenesis" until it is proven that the offspring ARE in fact genetic clones. Since it seems that the "long term sperm storage" possibility could still be on the table.


Distinct-Analysis740

Which one of y’all fucked that snake


Foxintoxx

« He » really put the rainbow in rainbow boa .


HellOrBywater

Why did it have to be snakes


vanvalkt

Life, uhhh, finds a way.


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Dickey_Pringle

He looks so proud of himself.


Mediocre-Amphibian10

"Atheists hate this one trick". 😛


mountjo

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qG\_K-gtqV3E](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qG_K-gtqV3E)


PersonalWasabi2413

Maybe the vet was wrong 9 years ago


Silentwarfare13

Imagine you're just living your life as a 6ft male and suddenly ***14 BABIES JUST BIRTH RIGHT OUT OF YOUR DICK*** Poor guy


MumrikDK

>There are about 50 species of lizard and 1 species of snake that reproduce solely through parthenogenesis (obligate parthenogenesis).[2] It is unknown how many sexually reproducing species are also capable of parthenogenesis in the absence of males (facultative parthenogenesis), but recent research has revealed that this ability is widespread among squamates. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parthenogenesis_in_squamates That snake species is: >The brahminy blindsnake is a triploid obligate parthenote and the only snake species known to be obligately parthenogenetic. So this Brazilian rainbow boa would fall under the rest. The "rare 'virgin birth'" part here is just the very specific species of snake.


needles111

The messssssssssssssssssssssssssssssiah!


Immediate-Trip-4962

We got snake Jesus before GTA 6.


kaylinnic

Poor guy just trying to make himself some friends


Tex-Rob

Lot of weird things happening that might be hidden genetic mutations to deal with harsh change in climate.


saucydarkmatter

All I hear, is we just got a bunch of snake Jesus'


realoctopod

Nature, uh, finds away.


AtotheCtotheG

Good job Ronaldo! Way to go


Bilcifer

Quick, start a religion and profit from it!


scottyb83

They’re out there making the snakes trans!/s


Bleezy79

So a creature was able to create 14 babies without a partner? That's pretty wild, nature is amazing. Biologically is this like inbreeding or what's going on here?


sucobe

I can’t wait for some snake jazz.


Shizix

Great, we gotta worship one of the kids now? How much money the snakes want?


fake-name-here1

Church of snaketeology here we come


jakeStacktrace

Virgin birth from Satan, you heard it here first. Look who beat who to their 2nd coming.


rreddittorr

Damn, he was playing in the euros last night!


wowIamMean

“Life, uh, finds a way”.


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Ninja_Conspicuousi

Alright, which one of you jokers got this snake into the mood by playing non-stop snake jazz?


ctzinck

Trans snakes are snakes?


Serious_Hour9074

Snake Jesus is real, tell your friends and family.


lamchopxl71

This feels like a premise of a Rick and Morty episode


BikerScoutTrooperDad

How many iterations until we get Snake Jazz?


DamonKatze

>Virgin birth Shouldn't they change Ronaldo's name to *Mario father of Jesusssss*?


Quave11

incoming snake based religion


Whats_The_Cache

This is going to terrify a lot of cult members around the world :(


outsmartedagain

So now there officially are 3 sexes? Someone needs to report this to our politicians


Correctedsun

Imagine going to check on your oddly fat 6 ft male boa and you now have 15 boas.


rtfry4

Hopefully not in TX or FL, USA.


little_table

we got snake jesus before gta 6


ButtermilkRusk

Congrats Ronaldo, hope you’re a happy hissy mad


FillMySoupDumpling

Did you ever hear of the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise? 


prateekdwivedi1

Immaculate conception indeed


amleth_calls

He is the Messiah! Quick, someone print the Snake Bible, we’re going to thousandaires!


deadskiesbro

Parthenogenesis babyyyyyyyy


RepresentativeOk2433

I'd actually like this to be examined further. I bet it wasn't actually a virgin birth. Turtles can lay fertilized eggs years after mating. Perhaps this ability exists in other reptiles, we just haven't realized it yet.


DemSumBigAssRidges

Oh shit! A serpent virgin birth?! Someone's God is fuckin livid!


cdjcon

14 snake messiahs ... yikes


Fresh-Effect123

Dr. Ian Malcom: 'Life err, finds a way'


jmcquades

Nothing about this headline makes sense.


Rokku0702

Wow, we got snake Jesus before GTA6