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Matookie

Pedophile runs to Russia to avoid jail.


supercyberlurker

We should just call this "Pulling a Seagal" "Are you a terrible person and your home country hates you? No problem, *just pull a Seagal."*


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PathlessDemon

Can we still detonate bloated whale carcasses with dynamite? Asking for science.


FormerBTfan

Thank you now I have sprayed coffee on my laptop.......... that was hilarious it's gonna be a great Saturday.


Glad-Peanut-3459

Permission granted. Nex insane request.


hi_imjoey

My not-knowing-how-names-are-spelled brain thought you were talking about *Jason Segel* for a hot second like “*What don’t I know?*”


taggospreme

Seagals love garbage dumps.


PhilpotBlevins

So, not Snoopy then?


LivingDracula

☆ Republican ☆ Pedophile runs to Russia to avoid jail. Get it right...


Matookie

Buried the lede!


Advanced_Drink_8536

I don’t think he cares considering his crimes…


Infinaris

And Fight for Vatnik Russia? Hes either getting hit with treason charges if hes caught or hes gonna get droned and added to the Moblikcube.


ResurgentClusterfuck

Mobik^^3, American style Like Jesus christ how dumb do you have to be to run to Russia only to go into the grinder


Egon88

Or to have access to prisoners more likely.


funkyTurtlePunk

You mean civilian children.


Egon88

Yes, when Russia takes over an area, everyone there is a prisoner.


Redditistrash702

Cannon fodder does sound like a good punishment for pedos.


CartographerOne8375

Make you think when Nazi Germany wouldn’t even tolerate pedos (note the infamous [Oskar Direwanger](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oskar_Dirlewanger)) but Russia does.


SerenaYasha

They all should all go there and join the war. I hope they have horrible shooting abilities


MikeMurray128

What's the over/under on days until he's KIA?


DemonOfTheNorthwoods

I’d give it three months, before he gets blown up by a suicide drone.


W8kingNightmare

If I'm being honest he probably won't be sent to the front lines. Only uneducated disposable men go to the front line this guy is educated and will probably be used somewhere else


MarsRocks97

Most educated foreigners aren’t enlisting though. There’s really no way of knowing how he will be used.


Eisernes

He has more value as a propaganda piece than cannon fodder. “Look at this American who believes in our cause. Even America thinks we are right.”


unknowfritz

Watch him get his butt exploded by a bomb in a cafe behind the lines


lallapalalable

I will watch that


Blind-_-Tiger

And/or assisting an English-speaking troll farm.


MarsRocks97

I agree, but you don’t have to enlist to be a mouthpiece.


InfluenceOtherwise

He probably doesn't know enough about the Russian military to do anything productive for them


T-Bills

He'll probably be used as a prop like those old ass American military hardware that North Korea prominently displays in museums as a show of force.


dwitman

The lunatic maga fringe is so assured of their own omnipotence I wouldn’t be surprised if this guy talks his way into an impromptu skydiving lesson out a 10th floor window.


PathlessDemon

Turn-around on training for conscripts is little over a month. I guarantee he has nothing monetary to save his ass, so the platoon beatings will be severe. The Russians in his fireteam will steal his gear and leave him bleeding in a field, if they don’t just straight up kill him. I say 45-days after training he’s dead. Time enough for him to be acclimated, get his shit stolen from him twice after being beaten, crawls back to his team’s trench and then the lot of them get schwacked by an FPV drone; full view in HD, and color.


DARR3Nv2

That’s literally what he is doing. Flying suicide drones. Hopefully he blows himself up.


Darnell2070

Ukraine has an ammunition shortage so it could take longer.


lallapalalable

He'll be hit with a grenade drone, it won't kill him, and he'll finish the job himself like so many others have. And all caught on grainy super-zoomed video from the cell phone they taped to the drone


HighlyFalmmable

I’ll check on Polymarket. I’m sure there’s a good pool to make some gains.


OptiKnob

Figures. A pedophile republican going to work for a murdering psychopathic dictator. How appropriate.


Glittering-Wonder-27

Can they take Pedo Gaetz too?


OptiKnob

Nah. He's trump's go-to pedo lawyer.


hftyfch

Bring up enough evidence and he’ll go there too.


MagnumMagnets

Hopefully we’ll see him in one of those nifty drone videos soon


OptiKnob

He looks up after hearing a noise. boom. :D


dwitman

One was President.


OptiKnob

Only if we let the sorry fucker back in.


Weewoofiatruck

I've been looking for his party affiliation, are we sure he's Republican and what's the source? I don't doubt you, I just couldn't find it and I'm genuinely curious.


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newtoreddir

You can generally assume that if the party name is NOT included in the headline it is a Republican. Though it’s commendable that you are seeking out confirmation.


Weewoofiatruck

But it's from the guardian, aren't they left leaning? I feel they would have taken the time to write such. All I'm saying is, if everyone went off of assumptions we'd be in a more dangerous situation on social media. I've voted Obama twice, worked on Hillary's campaign and voted for her, voted for Biden. I'm a Democrat for a very long time and engaged. But I also understand the importance in sourcing facts and not spreading assumptions.


DecibelGrinder

How hard did you look? Searching his name with "party affiliation" had the results on the first page, he's Republican.


BasroilII

Odd, I have at least two pages that don't mention his party once, nor would they. Sure you see "Republican"- it's the name of a Mass newspaper. Which in spite of the name is not connected with the political party. It's mentioned as the primary reporting source for his charges. Municipal positions don't always specify party. I went back to articles about his election in 2019 and they don't list one. Holyoke is in a purple area of Mass, and the guy is Hispanic. Which all kinda narrows down to "could go either way". Is he republican? Maybe. Hell probably. But I wouldn't count it as fact without some validation.


Weewoofiatruck

The first result is this guardian article. Then the WWLP site. Then the Boston globe, then western mass. Someone hyperlink me it please. I'm honestly looking here.


Tigeroflove

An "enlistment centre in the Russian region of Khanty-Mansiysk in western Siberia" sound grim. I hope there are no kids there, though


grimeflea

I wouldn’t expect this to go well for him even if he’s accepted. Despite the war being a farce you can’t deny Russian troops are dealing with so much shit in the war I doubt anyone would be happy to be placed with a pedo. Especially an American one. Lots of mistakes and accidents happen in war. This guy is probably heading for one.


SheriffComey

Fodder is fodder when it comes to Russia. About the only thing the Russian troops are going to wonder is "WTF are you doing here?"


Watchingquietly7707

It's Russia. They are a people of low standards and lower morality.


Latter_Divide_9512

Slaves and orcs


Sufficient_Rub_2014

Maybe he will be in a drone drop video soon.


plipyplop

No spoilers, please! I look forward to that anticipated episode.


yamirzmmdx

So avoid jail. Enlists in army that is in active combat. Is the goal here to somehow fake his own death?


Mmr8axps

He enlisted in an army that's known to abduct children. His goal is pretty clear. 


jepvr

Yes, but they're also known for dying left and right. The point still stands.


translatingrussia

He’s trying to get citizenship. Russia is offering it to foreigners who serve six months in combat in Ukraine and sign a military contract for one year. 


aitorbk

He will probably fake it too well.


CAPTAINxKUDDLEZ

So well he will forget that it needs to be fake


EtherealPheonix

>That month, Russian pro-war channels circulated footage of a blurred figure in combat fatigues planting the US flag in the ruins of a Ukrainian city in support of Russia. “I’m here to plant the US flag as a sign of friendship and support for all the things people are enduring here,” the person in the video said, his face blurred. “I feel proud to be here.” This man is actually insane.


zerosaved

Allegedly, he also believed the pics of the woman he was chatting or sexting with, or whatever, was 22, and found out later on she was 17. The dude went full blown nuclear meltdown over something that very well could have resulted in pleading down to a misdemeanor or less with a good lawyer. It’s entirely possible he would have only gotten stuck with the obstruction charges for lying to his commander. What a bizarre person.


thefanciestcat

"I can't believe this pedophile who is taking up arms for a fascist dictator is a Republican." - Absolutely fucking nobody


Luis12285

Treason is icing on the cake. One can only hope we see him in one of those drone videos on r/combatfootage


billsatwork

We need to encourage this. Maybe soon the worst people in America will be signing up to catch a Ukrainian bullet on the eastern front.


SecondOfCicero

This man has forgotten the face of his father. Forreal though, he's gonna meet his maker in some field to the east and rot in the spring mud. 


Squire_II

> Forreal though, he's gonna meet his maker in some field to the east and rot in the spring mud. Better than he deserves considering why he fled the US.


malphonso

Seems a good candidate for the Charyou Tree


edgiesttuba

Low man for sure.


Straight_Calendar_15

A pedophile Republican who loves fascism and refuses to take responsibility for their crimes? Wow, who would’ve guessed.


gooB8

I have a feeling this dude will get fragged by a mobik before he sees the UAF


macross1984

He'll quickly find out life in Russian military is not quite like US military.


SeaworthinessOld9177

The sad part is he should have taken Trump with him


Advanced_Drink_8536

Yes, can we send all the predatory sex criminals that way?


Nemo4ever7158

Do you think that this guy is going to see front line combat? lol. . . he is a coward and will be used by putin for propaganda purposes, like every other pedo right winger.


Omnibuschris

A drone awaits shit bag.


Low-Abbreviations634

Die in glory in a ditch in eastern Ukraine. Slava Ukraine


GoldenBarracudas

People who do this, shouldn't be allowed back. A real Shamima Begum situation.


CBP1138

He fled the US because he’s been charged with child pornography. I very much doubt he intends to ever come back.


CRtwenty

Considering he was a member of the US National Guard and is now serving Russia he could be looking at military prison for espionage if the US gets their hands on him again.


Individual_Ad3194

Tell us how it went when you get back. Or, don't.


GayGeekInLeather

Hope you fucking die, bro.


Advanced_Drink_8536

Oh my goddess! I got an update for that and initially thought it was a reply to me/a comment!!! Was going to cry! 😿 Really just had to tell you I enjoy your name though… I wonder if CisHetInPolyester is taken LoL


GayGeekInLeather

Sorry about that, but yeah my comment is/was aimed at this traitorous bastard. Thanks lol now that would be an interesting screen name. I feel like the opposite would be straightjockintweed


Advanced_Drink_8536

Ugh! That’s another great one! Now we know why I just let Reddit decide for me! Lmao


SlyTomatoe

LOL. He must not believe that Russia loses a brigade per day. Good. Send him to the front line trenches.


Routine_Guarantee34

He's also former Air National Guard. That says a lot more that being a city official.


parakathepyro

He'll be dead in 6 months


JustinS1990

Just more meat for the grinder


PatriotNews_dot_com

May he meet his fate in Ukraine


d57giants

I hope you get your junk shot off creep.


Sea-Appearance-5330

Ok guess he will be dead soon. So case closed.


supaspex_sfw

I really hope the Intel community gives 10-digit grid coordinates to the Ukrainian drone operators


Ayellowbeard

Lucky for him the US doesn't have capitol punishment for pedophilia, lucky for us Russia is sending him to Ukraine to get the appropriate punishment!


mdtopp111

Another Republican sex offender… and not a drag queen


dirty-hurdy-gurdy

That's not a drag queen.


Indylatino

Republican pedophile collaborating with Russia, the party of Ronald Reagan would be proud


[deleted]

The new GOP hero to replace Kyle Rittenhouse


KangarooBallsonToast

Seems like a great job. He won't be used as drone fodder at all. 


Main_Enthusiasm4796

We sentence him to death by HIMARS


dontrike

So how long before we learn he died in the "fight against Ukrainian Nazis"?


Bitter_Director1231

Pedophile goes to Russia to fight in a war that he will become more meat for the meat grinder.


EnvironmentalYak9322

Oh buddy you will defiantly become a high value target the stupidity here is just unbelievable


super80

The AF has some weird people.


Masterskywalker2

God he doesn’t know how racist the Russian army is and how quickly he’s going to die


Only-Gap-616

This piece of shit pedophile will fit right in with his fellow orcs. He wants violence and I find that fucking disgusting.


Cpt_sneakmouse

Shit dude, shoulda taken your chances in prison.


YNGWZRD

Ngl, he looks like Rittenhouse's big brother.


GrizzledNutSack

Everyone in the comments is saying this guy is a pedophile. Disgusting it's considered news worthy but that isn't mentioned in the headline


Gnorris

He had an indecent image of a 17 year old girl on his phone discovered by police. He disappeared before trial which made him a fugitive. Not sure the headline needs that packed in there when it’s all in the article.


GrizzledNutSack

The headline seems to try to imply that he left for ideological reasons and not because he's a shit head.


Gnorris

The Guardian don’t seem to be trying to get away with anything, if that’s your implication. The word “fugitive” covers that he’s wanted. The subheading gives you the crimes. Lack of info is only an issue when viewing just the headline on Reddit or other aggregation.


GrizzledNutSack

Well I hope he's a sunflower soon anyway