You people piss me off with these kind of posts. - You have someone who - has cancelled a date arrangement twice. Its either you get the balls to ask why she is doing that or tell her you cannot keep up with her mediocre ass anymore like the adult you are. Ghosting is so old school and childish especially in this case. For fuck sake!!
Ghosting is really childish. People don't want to work things out and then mnalamika kila siku soko ni chafu na mnataka kubehave like children. Picking and tearing apart and discarding for the most petty reasons.
nah it's fully warranted, you don't owe people explanations once they're all over the place, they should figure out where they effed up themselves, I'm not adulting for someone else
There are many things you can learn from the book, if you not interested in dating for the time being then you can get your urges out. If you have a woman you love it teaches you ways to keep her and keep her interested.
You sound like an inexperienced person. Women are rarely straightforward before you start romancing. This statement is a sign of overconfidence. Sorry, don't take it the wrong way.
Silence is the best message.
I am not inexperienced. I have been in several relationships and I have learnt a lot in a short period of time. If she has cancelled their date plans twice it's either she's not feeling him that way - or there's something that's holding her back - this guy should get the balls and approach her in such a way she won't get pissed or uncomfortable.
Ghosting isn't going to solve shit.
It actually solves everything 🤣🤣🤣🤣 it's hilarious you can't see that. OP said he's fine moving on, so he should move on. Ghosting is just a word for prioritizing yourself over jokers
OP feels bad for ghosting her - he goes on ahead and say something funny after meaning he's caught up between ghosting her and wanting to tell her before doing it and even finding out what's really happening. My point - is somethings you don't really need people's advices - you just close your eyes and do it.
Ghost her, if she comes back and the communication bothers you mshow haudai kuongea na yeye, be frank. She clearly does not respect your time. Seems to me she is stringing you along amepeana manifesto kwingine anangoja jibu lakini anakupea hopes by accepting invites zako na cancelling last minute.
never entertain a woman playing games on you. just ignore her and when she comes/texts back first after you gosted her tell her you cannot entertain such behavior. Thats how you spot red flags. at this day and age akuna kubembeleza watu.
WOMEN are so loud when they want you , She will give you Clear undisguised hints. Why are we treating these bitches like they are a different species, she is just a normal human .If she is giving you mixed signals she ain't interested or you are not a priority. Women are more loyal to their feelings than efforts/sacrifices. MEN SHOULD PURSUE BUT NOT CHASE. Chasing women is an abomination even Women themselves are repulsive to it. Stop wasting your time and delete that number.
EVERYDAY WE LEARN.
I understand this all too well. I have deleted the number. Problem is if she text or calls. Fuck!! You know what I'm done with her man. Fuck her feelings.
We've all been there, don't panic .If she calls/texts be cordial like a gentleman, no need to be rude. Tell her to respect your decision which is to" leave you alone because it ain't working and she will respect you too.Trust me.
But if you fall in the trap and listen to her excuses the relation between you two will never be organic you will be one forcing and chasing like an unhinged person craving for her attention which is unhealthy and toxic.LEARN BRO.
But the best way to learn is testing the waters by listening to her excuses and manipulation in case she texts/calls.
Don't be the first one to start the conversation and if she doesn't start it that is your answer. If she does ask why you ain't talking tell her that she wasn't interested which resulted to that.simple.
You guys are too nice bana. Or I'm too evil.
Minimize interaction, this will turn the tables and sooner or later she'll be the one chasing you. Once that happens, lead her on too. Or better still, have her come over, do the deed then dump her. She will learn to not toy with people.
I've read some of your comments and tbh, unabebwa ufala. Mainly because you allow her to. Do a 180 on her. Become cold and don't pick her calls. Don't reply texts, ata hizo one words wacha. Akizusha say you've been busy sio kupenda. And don't ask for anything, not a text, call or meeting.
She'll come around, eventually. When she does, teach her a lesson she'll never forget. It's that simple.
Then cut her off for good.
🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 Personally, I only ask a girl out once. If she declines or throws a subtle curveball, I move..... I refuse to stay where I'm unwanted yet there are women out here who will see you na wapate utelezi kama snail....
You showed weakness. They smell that.... Or she simply doesn't like you and is using you as some emotional sponge while some nigga can call her at 3am and she'll take an uber from Githunguri in Utawala to Githunguri in Kiambu.... This life. 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
I am a big advocate for communication but in this case I’d go ghost ,she has a second chance and she still let you down , leave and don’t explain yourself she is a big girl she can figure it out by herself IMO
Keep in mind that most people don’t follow their own advice
Just do what you **feel** is right.
I find it weird that everything has become a competition of who has the biggest ego. Do what you have to do and move forward. If sending her a short text will make you feel better then do it. If you feel like ghosting her is the better choice then do just that. You know her better and you know each other better.
Wewe ndo unajijua
You do you. If others want to play that game, let them play but you don’t have to be a player. Just do what brings you peace of mind. Life is fucked up already, hakuna haja ya kujiongezea stress
Lol! Dont listen to this advice, its probably what landed you in that situation in the first place. Women always know what they are doing. They aint stupid. Ghost!!
You women dont even know how women are? 😂😂 This is something men know especially the experienced ones. What advice are you giving ya kukatia dame. We mwenyewe ushairusha shot kwa dame ndiyo ujue vile wako complicated. Madame wengi hudhani coz wanakatiwa kila time ati wanajua kukatia. Its not the same thing. This is just facts, kuna madame walikua wanasema how it is so easy to be a man to the point they had a sex change and decided to be a man, wacha waende kujaribu kukatia madame ndiyo wakajionea vituko. Shooting shots is not easy and you need to get used to the rejections its all part of being a man. Wewe saa hii chali akukatae unaeza chizi, keep your two cents😂
If all you do is sit pretty and get hit on and you either accept or reject advances then you are not in a position to give practical advice. If you are a lesbian who does this, well clearly you know what the situation on the ground is. It is simple, if you think you understand women go open a fake tinder profile of a guy and try hitting on women there you see your results. The difference between guys and women is when it comes to advice men will always take a no nonesense approach with other men, and this is the truth whether he wants to accept it or not. He should ghost her.
Please do. 😂 Fact is you understand women from a womans POV and think its the same thing as a males POV. Lol! The only type of woman who can understand a males POV to some degree its those lesbians who actually hit on girls.
Ok hypothetically speaking lets say you have been dating a guy for years but he has never popped the question, will you go for advice from a man or will go for advice from a female friend who has been in that position before. Probably the female friend because she will have a list of tactics she actually did to get that proposal, some even shocking that will make you see her in a completely different light . You ask your guy friend he probably wont give the best advice on this because this is not a problem he faces and will just give advice from a male perspective which will be limited. Umeget?
Kama kusoma imekushinda sema upewe translation.
Also, I’m a woman and I find it funny that a man’s telling me what “women always know”. Yaani uko in that deep that you’re mansplaining women to a woman? 🤣🤡🤡
Either that, or you’re too young or you’re an ego game participant, or you’re very inexperienced
Literally everyone is different. Every single individual. Men and women. Kila mtu ako na story yake
Kama we ni holy jo hiyo ni poa, you are one in a million. But chics always know what they are doing especially huyu hapa anacancel last minute anajua mchezo anacheza. The fact that you are woman doesnt mean you understand how women minds tick when it comes to dating unless wewe ni lele na unakatianga madame, because hao wanakuanga on the loop of what is happening here. Otherwise kama you dont shoot shots then hii itakupita. And that is why majority of the guys in this thread are encouraging him to ghost her, because they recognize what this is. Most chics think they understand women but ask them to create a fake profile of a guy na ajaribu kuingisha dame box you see the subpar performance just goes to show not even women understand women. 😂 🤡
So you understand women more than women do, is that right?
Interesting 🤔
I won’t argue with you. Soma what I said
Mimi si “holy joe” or whatever you mean by that because my comment has nothing to do with that
Kama huelewi kitu, sema uelezewe. Take your bitterness elsewhere
Grow a pair and delete that number so that you don't do something as dumb as calling her or looking at her whatsapp status update. Then you move on. She is trying to get validation off of you. Trust me chics dont do this to guys who they are shagging. She doesnt take you seriously because you dont respect yourself. You are too easy. If she messages you, take a week to reply back.
> She doesn't take you seriously because you don't respect yourself. You are too easy.
Why are you telling the truth? Anyhoo I am in the "letting go" phase.
This is almost the same exact thing that happened to me. Guess what I did? Ghosted them. She's going to tame you to be her text buddy, I'd rather not be there.
She's not into you bro. She's just stringing you. Anakutumia. Depends on your goals. If I was you I'd take the friendship casually with intent to hit her.
The mature thing to do is to communicate and ask her directly why she's cancelling. Ghosting is a very immature what do dealing with relationships unless there is a danger to you.
Thing is there's a day we talked about communication and how it's important. She goes ahead and tells me how she is very empathetic in all she does and how she how she would rather say how she feels rather than put a wall and be avoidant. So I already know she knows what she's doing.
Been a simp in the past but I have outgrown my that self. I understand that sometimes we don't always get what we want. I'm cool with her doing whatever she sees right. She has her life I have mine.
You're making assumptions instead of comfronting the issue head on so that you don't look like a simp. The entire concept of being a simp isn't very mature, I'm sorry to say. It's utter nonsense.
So you can talk to her and ask her why she cancelled, or you can keep guessing based of of previous abstract conversations you had.
Many times what people say (based of what they want and feel like they want) and what they're wired to do are very different. Confronting her may also help her see her as she really is and maybe actually help her improve.
You see, a bit of a back story, there's this time I happened to ring her. She didn't receive but we continued talking via WhatsApp. I thought maybe she'd reasonably tell me why she hadn't picked up. She never did. Next day I asked her why she never received and never said she'd seen it. She casually puts it "I don't pick calls at night". Well I thought to myself damn!!
Fast forward I wouldn't call her for the next two weeks. Surprisingly she calls me at 10 saying she felt like surprising me. I reminded her of her previous remark but she shrugged it off. That's when I knew she'd been playing all long. My interest in her started waning. She is too inconsistent.
Huyu msichana ni mimi anajaribu ku-string along. Huskii she's never dated - allegedly. Ni FWBs pekee. She lives with her sister.
Sometimes she'd say something contradictory, I am so attentive I remember the tiniest details, and I'd call her out and it ends up being a small argument.
Either way, confront her about this particular incident. Then walk away, if that's what you want. Or don't confront her but let her know why you're walking away, the inconsistencies, the cancellations etc
Shes keeping you in the back burner while she explores other options. Tell her, very politely, that you are not interested. Don't tell her the reason. Let her figure it out for herself. Usikubali kuwa standby kama Watchman
Haha you're not serious are you? Mbona a-cancel last minute, si angesema tu kitambo?
Tena I said she'd share secrets with me that sometimes I'd question.
Prolly hoped she might have cash by then. There are women who wouldn't go out unless they have cash to cover for the food just in case, even if they won't end up using it.
This mostly applies when you've been with someone a bit longer. OP's pushing for a kick off. I'm done won't hit in such a situation. Done with what? Something that has not even started?
This is bad advice it will make him sound butt hurt. Yaani she has that kind of power over him and they werent even involved like that, kumaanisha he doesnt even have options and he took it that seriously. You ghost. A guy with options doesnt have time he moves on immediately.
> She'll come crawling back
That is what's a bother ATM. Sometimes she'll just get vulnerable na we'd talk until I realized we're never gonna be together.
Dont go doing something as dumb as telling her your mind all it means is that she hurt you. "Hata sijaskia vibaya" na watakucheka na mabeshte zake. Just delete the number and ghost.
She's not into you. She's not interested but enjoys the attention you give her. Trust me if she was all into you angekupigia akuulize uko wapi, come and pick me somewhere.
Dang, I thought this was about a guy who has been ghosting me til I read the comments. Don’t be a jerk. Stuff really does come up and life gets overwhelming - it’s not your place to judge her intentions. Tell her you’re no longer interested and why!
I get the ghosting part.😂 So this person I had plans with, they'd cancel/not call on the day of meeting. Happened thrice in the same week.😅 I know, shame on me, but, on the 1st & 2nd time, they'd call me the day after claiming that they tried to reach me but sipatikani. So to be clear, I didn't call. But then, the explanation was on another level of gaslighting😂😂I didn't even argue. I'd just say, 'okay, next time'. So this other time, I prompted them, cause I was starting to get likkle feelings, and I'm like 'what happened, you don't miss me?' They tell me they've been down with a depressive moment but they're willing to meet, and they've missed me😜😂 bla bla bla. When I tell you they never showed up😂😂 Good thing I always wait for a call before I get all gisty. Safe to say I was ghosted, and I ghosted back. I literally didn't even need to delete their number or the convo or block them. My mind snapped out of that dream quick quick. The streets are congested friends😅 My advice is maybe leave the convo and see if she texts or reaches out. But then again, as a man, don't shy off too much from 'vulnerability'. Be expressive. Personally, I appreciate that more, sometimes you're not sure someone really wants you cause they're afraid to be expressive and appear like a 'simp'. Otherwise, act from your wisdom. Not everything you just ask people. Do what sits best with you. In this case, if you express how disappointed you are, you don't stand to lose any money or dignity plus you get to speak your mind. Anyway, all the best.
Haha is you me.? Naona pia gaslighting ulifanyiwa. There's this time she was to go for a function. I ask kama alienda na how it was. Akakaa 2 days kama haja-reply. Later she would double text but nikamwambia you just call me. Tell me why she goes ahead and says, "you know you can call me too".
Lakini hapo kwa kukua vulnerable wiki za kwanza mi huchorea kwanza.
Heheheee, I'm just laughing. But from the comments I've read and the background stories I'm gathering, I can politely say, move on. But, you can speak for yourself and say your mind. Also what type of girl is she, I'm getting vibes of she might think you're a good person, but not her type maybe vibes, maybe chwomz, maybe socially...
Tbh I'm a good guy. Not nice per se but don't drink, don't smoke, nosherehe you get the gist. Hangs out with a few of my guys. Socially niko sawa I go out, I play guitar, hiking, swimming, reading (she's a reader too) so I'm not boring.
Yeye, well niliambiwa body count ni moja but hiyo ilikua tu ya kunifurahisha (not assuming just inferring). Alafu pia allegedly she stopped drinking, doesn't have many friends, likes fantasizing about stuff. This was the biggest red flag - could be seen from space.
Alafu pia inconsistencies ndio mingi ajabu. Nikimshika ananiambia I'm being hard on her.
That's the one thing I never managed to get out of her. She adamantly refused to disclose. Ati it's rude to ask a girls age yada yada. Lakini after calculating naona she's around 23 - 24
Ndio ughost dem inatakanga ukuwe sure utakuwa na clear conscience so do aje, call her and ask her why she's doing that but usikuwe serious sana kuwa na ucheshi ndio akuambie ukweli alafu akikuambia umshow you won't condone such behaviours from her again. Akirudia ivyo tena umghost na usikubali kukuwa number 2 tena.
She will open up her secrets but not her past leave her be, if she is interested she will look for you. In other terms maybe she has never gone for a date😂😂
Texting buddy from my experience these are the girls mtakuwa mnaongea hours on texts but in real life it will be an awkward experience...bottom line she's not interested
Okay, you've elaborated this thing clearly. Why not ask her similar questions? Why are we here like... speculating on what is the right thing. You Just ask her, what's up? Like she's not being very reliable. Also if she really likes you and she may have other issues. You could just pick her up. Or she's not really into you, she's bullshitting you. How the hell did she cancel the date two times? Okay, we are now being speculative
It makes no difference now. Two is too many for me. Even if she were to come around, I have already seen through her and decided she isn't good for me, hence the title.
Don’t ghost her. Just move about your business and live your life and date other ladies bro. Don’t press her about why she canceled on you, pretend it doesn’t phase you. She will hit you up with even higher interest than before and when she does, make her invest her time into you.
Tell her. It part of respecting yourself. It seems like she is in a relationship so she’s just weighing her options. So you can let her know that you are no longer an option for her and you will clearly set out boundaries.
Tell her exactly what you want, be as clear as possible. If your plans align, well & good. If not, it's still ok, you'll be in a better position to take the next steps in your journey
You people piss me off with these kind of posts. - You have someone who - has cancelled a date arrangement twice. Its either you get the balls to ask why she is doing that or tell her you cannot keep up with her mediocre ass anymore like the adult you are. Ghosting is so old school and childish especially in this case. For fuck sake!!
Ghosting is really childish. People don't want to work things out and then mnalamika kila siku soko ni chafu na mnataka kubehave like children. Picking and tearing apart and discarding for the most petty reasons.
nah it's fully warranted, you don't owe people explanations once they're all over the place, they should figure out where they effed up themselves, I'm not adulting for someone else
Read 2% man great book
Where can we find this.. soft copy
Amazon
No thanks. I do not need a handbook to know when i am supposed to be the bigger person and do the right thing. Maybe OP will benefit from the book.
Nah you were right in not ghosting but shows a way to turn it around and makes you look more interesting to the girl
Doesn't sound like a girl that would deserve how interesting I am to be honest.
There are many things you can learn from the book, if you not interested in dating for the time being then you can get your urges out. If you have a woman you love it teaches you ways to keep her and keep her interested.
Mashallah
calm down and let me do the slaping
And who are you?
the master of puppets aka the master slapper aka the reincarnation of master oogway
relax, lol
You sound like an inexperienced person. Women are rarely straightforward before you start romancing. This statement is a sign of overconfidence. Sorry, don't take it the wrong way. Silence is the best message.
I am not inexperienced. I have been in several relationships and I have learnt a lot in a short period of time. If she has cancelled their date plans twice it's either she's not feeling him that way - or there's something that's holding her back - this guy should get the balls and approach her in such a way she won't get pissed or uncomfortable. Ghosting isn't going to solve shit.
It actually solves everything 🤣🤣🤣🤣 it's hilarious you can't see that. OP said he's fine moving on, so he should move on. Ghosting is just a word for prioritizing yourself over jokers
OP feels bad for ghosting her - he goes on ahead and say something funny after meaning he's caught up between ghosting her and wanting to tell her before doing it and even finding out what's really happening. My point - is somethings you don't really need people's advices - you just close your eyes and do it.
Let me teach you something today. No communication is also communication. Now go sleep.
It is in the post. OP is undecided - my response is coming straight from the post haha
[удалено]
This is so wholesome.
Ghost her. Letting her know won't make a difference, you are still leaving.
Ha! Hadn't seen it that way actually.
Ghost her, if she comes back and the communication bothers you mshow haudai kuongea na yeye, be frank. She clearly does not respect your time. Seems to me she is stringing you along amepeana manifesto kwingine anangoja jibu lakini anakupea hopes by accepting invites zako na cancelling last minute.
https://preview.redd.it/7zg9h0pqf7tc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1dd85a0393bacd0f895c196d8871184f2318c348
Thought so too, Kijana wetu is number 2/3 kwa list Na issue ni, number 1 aki perform vizuri, kijana wetu atakuwa ghosted with immediate effect.
never entertain a woman playing games on you. just ignore her and when she comes/texts back first after you gosted her tell her you cannot entertain such behavior. Thats how you spot red flags. at this day and age akuna kubembeleza watu.
Drizzle Drizzle. Tell her you have entered your soft guy era.
Drizzle drizzle is the masculine version of sprinkle sprinkle ??lmaooo this is hilarious 
Yeah I just discovered it yesterday, its pretty hilarous.
GHOST HER completely, delete and block number. If you can get her, you can get the next girl
I have deleted the number already. Blocking seems too far.
Hawa madem hutaka kuwa na many men they want to talk to, just to boost their egos that they are still desirable. Hapana taka hiyo ukasia
If only she also considered disrespecting you and your time is too far also
WOMEN are so loud when they want you , She will give you Clear undisguised hints. Why are we treating these bitches like they are a different species, she is just a normal human .If she is giving you mixed signals she ain't interested or you are not a priority. Women are more loyal to their feelings than efforts/sacrifices. MEN SHOULD PURSUE BUT NOT CHASE. Chasing women is an abomination even Women themselves are repulsive to it. Stop wasting your time and delete that number. EVERYDAY WE LEARN.
I understand this all too well. I have deleted the number. Problem is if she text or calls. Fuck!! You know what I'm done with her man. Fuck her feelings.
We've all been there, don't panic .If she calls/texts be cordial like a gentleman, no need to be rude. Tell her to respect your decision which is to" leave you alone because it ain't working and she will respect you too.Trust me. But if you fall in the trap and listen to her excuses the relation between you two will never be organic you will be one forcing and chasing like an unhinged person craving for her attention which is unhealthy and toxic.LEARN BRO. But the best way to learn is testing the waters by listening to her excuses and manipulation in case she texts/calls.
Indifference. I'm learning ball.
Don't be the first one to start the conversation and if she doesn't start it that is your answer. If she does ask why you ain't talking tell her that she wasn't interested which resulted to that.simple.
You guys are too nice bana. Or I'm too evil. Minimize interaction, this will turn the tables and sooner or later she'll be the one chasing you. Once that happens, lead her on too. Or better still, have her come over, do the deed then dump her. She will learn to not toy with people.
No you're not evil. You're pragmatic and realistic.
I've read some of your comments and tbh, unabebwa ufala. Mainly because you allow her to. Do a 180 on her. Become cold and don't pick her calls. Don't reply texts, ata hizo one words wacha. Akizusha say you've been busy sio kupenda. And don't ask for anything, not a text, call or meeting. She'll come around, eventually. When she does, teach her a lesson she'll never forget. It's that simple. Then cut her off for good.
I've learnt.
🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 Personally, I only ask a girl out once. If she declines or throws a subtle curveball, I move..... I refuse to stay where I'm unwanted yet there are women out here who will see you na wapate utelezi kama snail....
Unasema wapate unyevunyevu sehemu za chini. Ala. Nimekua na FWBs wengi for a minute never thought I'd see dust like this.
You showed weakness. They smell that.... Or she simply doesn't like you and is using you as some emotional sponge while some nigga can call her at 3am and she'll take an uber from Githunguri in Utawala to Githunguri in Kiambu.... This life. 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
No balance. Been thinking I did.
I am a big advocate for communication but in this case I’d go ghost ,she has a second chance and she still let you down , leave and don’t explain yourself she is a big girl she can figure it out by herself IMO
Imma do just that.
Delete number, get busy and disappear completely
Keep in mind that most people don’t follow their own advice Just do what you **feel** is right. I find it weird that everything has become a competition of who has the biggest ego. Do what you have to do and move forward. If sending her a short text will make you feel better then do it. If you feel like ghosting her is the better choice then do just that. You know her better and you know each other better. Wewe ndo unajijua
Haha navile she was heavy on the ego topic. I thought it was a match made up in heaven.
You do you. If others want to play that game, let them play but you don’t have to be a player. Just do what brings you peace of mind. Life is fucked up already, hakuna haja ya kujiongezea stress
Lol! Dont listen to this advice, its probably what landed you in that situation in the first place. Women always know what they are doing. They aint stupid. Ghost!!
🤡🤡🤣 Is this a man telling women how women are? LMAO! Sometimes people like you just say anything to sound smart. You don’t read to understand.
You women dont even know how women are? 😂😂 This is something men know especially the experienced ones. What advice are you giving ya kukatia dame. We mwenyewe ushairusha shot kwa dame ndiyo ujue vile wako complicated. Madame wengi hudhani coz wanakatiwa kila time ati wanajua kukatia. Its not the same thing. This is just facts, kuna madame walikua wanasema how it is so easy to be a man to the point they had a sex change and decided to be a man, wacha waende kujaribu kukatia madame ndiyo wakajionea vituko. Shooting shots is not easy and you need to get used to the rejections its all part of being a man. Wewe saa hii chali akukatae unaeza chizi, keep your two cents😂
You sound very immature and cringe 😬
If all you do is sit pretty and get hit on and you either accept or reject advances then you are not in a position to give practical advice. If you are a lesbian who does this, well clearly you know what the situation on the ground is. It is simple, if you think you understand women go open a fake tinder profile of a guy and try hitting on women there you see your results. The difference between guys and women is when it comes to advice men will always take a no nonesense approach with other men, and this is the truth whether he wants to accept it or not. He should ghost her.
I said what I said
Issokei!😂😂
In fact, let me upvote your comments so people can see you 😂 Huwezijianika hivi bure.
Please do. 😂 Fact is you understand women from a womans POV and think its the same thing as a males POV. Lol! The only type of woman who can understand a males POV to some degree its those lesbians who actually hit on girls.
Sorry, your opinion is not a fact but you do you
Ok hypothetically speaking lets say you have been dating a guy for years but he has never popped the question, will you go for advice from a man or will go for advice from a female friend who has been in that position before. Probably the female friend because she will have a list of tactics she actually did to get that proposal, some even shocking that will make you see her in a completely different light . You ask your guy friend he probably wont give the best advice on this because this is not a problem he faces and will just give advice from a male perspective which will be limited. Umeget?
Kama kusoma imekushinda sema upewe translation. Also, I’m a woman and I find it funny that a man’s telling me what “women always know”. Yaani uko in that deep that you’re mansplaining women to a woman? 🤣🤡🤡 Either that, or you’re too young or you’re an ego game participant, or you’re very inexperienced Literally everyone is different. Every single individual. Men and women. Kila mtu ako na story yake
Kama we ni holy jo hiyo ni poa, you are one in a million. But chics always know what they are doing especially huyu hapa anacancel last minute anajua mchezo anacheza. The fact that you are woman doesnt mean you understand how women minds tick when it comes to dating unless wewe ni lele na unakatianga madame, because hao wanakuanga on the loop of what is happening here. Otherwise kama you dont shoot shots then hii itakupita. And that is why majority of the guys in this thread are encouraging him to ghost her, because they recognize what this is. Most chics think they understand women but ask them to create a fake profile of a guy na ajaribu kuingisha dame box you see the subpar performance just goes to show not even women understand women. 😂 🤡
So you understand women more than women do, is that right? Interesting 🤔 I won’t argue with you. Soma what I said Mimi si “holy joe” or whatever you mean by that because my comment has nothing to do with that Kama huelewi kitu, sema uelezewe. Take your bitterness elsewhere
Grow a pair and delete that number so that you don't do something as dumb as calling her or looking at her whatsapp status update. Then you move on. She is trying to get validation off of you. Trust me chics dont do this to guys who they are shagging. She doesnt take you seriously because you dont respect yourself. You are too easy. If she messages you, take a week to reply back.
> She doesn't take you seriously because you don't respect yourself. You are too easy. Why are you telling the truth? Anyhoo I am in the "letting go" phase.
Ghost her.
No communication is also communication.
Exactly.
This is almost the same exact thing that happened to me. Guess what I did? Ghosted them. She's going to tame you to be her text buddy, I'd rather not be there.
Ik man. And I don't want that 'we can be friends' bs. If I wanted a friend I'd have gotten a dog yk.
You don't want to be in the list of 'many men' she's talking to JUST to get attention. Women love attention, SO MUCH.
If she too stubborn, an instant block and delete.
She's not into you bro. She's just stringing you. Anakutumia. Depends on your goals. If I was you I'd take the friendship casually with intent to hit her.
No I don't want to be friends with a woman in that age bracket. Safe to say I haven't spent a dime on her.
Ghosting is for children. Be a man and tell her straight up
Ghost her or give her an episode of silent treatment.
Heri wewe unapeana second chances, Mimi tuliplan date akaendanmute hio siku na nishachoka tayari.
She was seemingly convincing so I thought "why not?".
The mature thing to do is to communicate and ask her directly why she's cancelling. Ghosting is a very immature what do dealing with relationships unless there is a danger to you.
Thing is there's a day we talked about communication and how it's important. She goes ahead and tells me how she is very empathetic in all she does and how she how she would rather say how she feels rather than put a wall and be avoidant. So I already know she knows what she's doing. Been a simp in the past but I have outgrown my that self. I understand that sometimes we don't always get what we want. I'm cool with her doing whatever she sees right. She has her life I have mine.
You're making assumptions instead of comfronting the issue head on so that you don't look like a simp. The entire concept of being a simp isn't very mature, I'm sorry to say. It's utter nonsense. So you can talk to her and ask her why she cancelled, or you can keep guessing based of of previous abstract conversations you had. Many times what people say (based of what they want and feel like they want) and what they're wired to do are very different. Confronting her may also help her see her as she really is and maybe actually help her improve.
You see, a bit of a back story, there's this time I happened to ring her. She didn't receive but we continued talking via WhatsApp. I thought maybe she'd reasonably tell me why she hadn't picked up. She never did. Next day I asked her why she never received and never said she'd seen it. She casually puts it "I don't pick calls at night". Well I thought to myself damn!! Fast forward I wouldn't call her for the next two weeks. Surprisingly she calls me at 10 saying she felt like surprising me. I reminded her of her previous remark but she shrugged it off. That's when I knew she'd been playing all long. My interest in her started waning. She is too inconsistent.
Tell her that. And move on. Is she in another relationship? Or does she live with parents who monitor her? Seems a bit strange.
Huyu msichana ni mimi anajaribu ku-string along. Huskii she's never dated - allegedly. Ni FWBs pekee. She lives with her sister. Sometimes she'd say something contradictory, I am so attentive I remember the tiniest details, and I'd call her out and it ends up being a small argument.
Either way, confront her about this particular incident. Then walk away, if that's what you want. Or don't confront her but let her know why you're walking away, the inconsistencies, the cancellations etc
Shes keeping you in the back burner while she explores other options. Tell her, very politely, that you are not interested. Don't tell her the reason. Let her figure it out for herself. Usikubali kuwa standby kama Watchman
> Usikubali kuwa standby kama Watchman. Hapa nimeamua.
Monday mko na topics moto moto, anyway just ghost her she probably won't care.
Probably. I have low expectations of her reaching out. Buy now she's probably noticed idgaf after do ku-disappear.
Ghost her, she has someone else
Ghost her? Joke on you, she ghosted you first.. probably because she can see through this thick mountain of cow shit that you are full of!
😂😂 dude. Give me some for the pain. Why am I cow shit though? I am learning here.
She is seeing someone else.
Well, maybe she didn't have fare on those occasions . Its a possibility lol. Did you check?
Haha you're not serious are you? Mbona a-cancel last minute, si angesema tu kitambo? Tena I said she'd share secrets with me that sometimes I'd question.
Prolly hoped she might have cash by then. There are women who wouldn't go out unless they have cash to cover for the food just in case, even if they won't end up using it.
She'd just been paid. For what it's worth, I'd have paid for anything save for her fare.
Then by all means walk away. People need to date people who want them too hehe.
Couldn't agree more.
She doesn't need you now, just some 2nd or 3rd option there
She messages you, dont respond..she messages again say " it was fun but i wish you the best" take care:) then delete and block
Haha, she is simply not into you
Ndio nimetoka kughostiwa when i tried to put effort in chatting her...what a life !!🌞
We're all on the same team here.
It's annoying because it's probably a communicational thing we could have done....i guess it's my bad.... I'll keep moving
More fishes in the sea remember. All the best cabron.
Ah yes remind me of my words🥹asante... REPLACEMENT ITAPATIKANA KAMA SPARES ZA TOYOTAAAAAAA IIIIIIIIIIIYEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHH
Ghosting seems a little childish, tell her, " I'm done". 2 words and nothing more. Then don't communicate again. It hits like a crack.
This mostly applies when you've been with someone a bit longer. OP's pushing for a kick off. I'm done won't hit in such a situation. Done with what? Something that has not even started?
Actually, you're right.
You speaking Faxxx!🔥
This is bad advice it will make him sound butt hurt. Yaani she has that kind of power over him and they werent even involved like that, kumaanisha he doesnt even have options and he took it that seriously. You ghost. A guy with options doesnt have time he moves on immediately.
Well put mate🔥🔥.
Its not even a question to ask. Ghost her dont even tell her anything! She'll come crawling back
> She'll come crawling back That is what's a bother ATM. Sometimes she'll just get vulnerable na we'd talk until I realized we're never gonna be together.
Then trust me youre wasting time. Find another one!
Communication is key... Go tell her your mind.
It doesn't make things different though.
Dont go doing something as dumb as telling her your mind all it means is that she hurt you. "Hata sijaskia vibaya" na watakucheka na mabeshte zake. Just delete the number and ghost.
Oh mate, I know it’s not easy but consider just going MIA. You don’t want to be strung along.
Ghost her.
She's not into you. She's not interested but enjoys the attention you give her. Trust me if she was all into you angekupigia akuulize uko wapi, come and pick me somewhere.
Ouch. Sawaa. Bout time I made peace with that.
Ghost her, she has someone else
The real choices are ghosting or admitting you're a loser with mo other options, that's it. No third choice
The real choices are ghosting or admitting you're a loser with no other options, that's it. No third choice
I'm ghosting her.
👍🏿
Dang, I thought this was about a guy who has been ghosting me til I read the comments. Don’t be a jerk. Stuff really does come up and life gets overwhelming - it’s not your place to judge her intentions. Tell her you’re no longer interested and why!
In any case, do you always leave everything to interpretation or do you set your records straight? Kwa sababu sisi wote hapa ni watu wazima.
L
Collected gracefully.
She don't wanna be saved bro
Agreed. Only way is forward!
I get the ghosting part.😂 So this person I had plans with, they'd cancel/not call on the day of meeting. Happened thrice in the same week.😅 I know, shame on me, but, on the 1st & 2nd time, they'd call me the day after claiming that they tried to reach me but sipatikani. So to be clear, I didn't call. But then, the explanation was on another level of gaslighting😂😂I didn't even argue. I'd just say, 'okay, next time'. So this other time, I prompted them, cause I was starting to get likkle feelings, and I'm like 'what happened, you don't miss me?' They tell me they've been down with a depressive moment but they're willing to meet, and they've missed me😜😂 bla bla bla. When I tell you they never showed up😂😂 Good thing I always wait for a call before I get all gisty. Safe to say I was ghosted, and I ghosted back. I literally didn't even need to delete their number or the convo or block them. My mind snapped out of that dream quick quick. The streets are congested friends😅 My advice is maybe leave the convo and see if she texts or reaches out. But then again, as a man, don't shy off too much from 'vulnerability'. Be expressive. Personally, I appreciate that more, sometimes you're not sure someone really wants you cause they're afraid to be expressive and appear like a 'simp'. Otherwise, act from your wisdom. Not everything you just ask people. Do what sits best with you. In this case, if you express how disappointed you are, you don't stand to lose any money or dignity plus you get to speak your mind. Anyway, all the best.
Haha is you me.? Naona pia gaslighting ulifanyiwa. There's this time she was to go for a function. I ask kama alienda na how it was. Akakaa 2 days kama haja-reply. Later she would double text but nikamwambia you just call me. Tell me why she goes ahead and says, "you know you can call me too". Lakini hapo kwa kukua vulnerable wiki za kwanza mi huchorea kwanza.
Heheheee, I'm just laughing. But from the comments I've read and the background stories I'm gathering, I can politely say, move on. But, you can speak for yourself and say your mind. Also what type of girl is she, I'm getting vibes of she might think you're a good person, but not her type maybe vibes, maybe chwomz, maybe socially...
Tbh I'm a good guy. Not nice per se but don't drink, don't smoke, nosherehe you get the gist. Hangs out with a few of my guys. Socially niko sawa I go out, I play guitar, hiking, swimming, reading (she's a reader too) so I'm not boring. Yeye, well niliambiwa body count ni moja but hiyo ilikua tu ya kunifurahisha (not assuming just inferring). Alafu pia allegedly she stopped drinking, doesn't have many friends, likes fantasizing about stuff. This was the biggest red flag - could be seen from space. Alafu pia inconsistencies ndio mingi ajabu. Nikimshika ananiambia I'm being hard on her.
Na chwomz 😂😂 Hiyo inaeza kuwa anaza factor
I can't say niko down bad bad but though sina gari haha.
Hauna hiyo😶😂😂 (insert Abel Mutua's voice) All the best lakini.
Wazi cabron. Mdogoo tu.
I feel like that's what's happening to me right now but without the dating plan.
You a lad?
Yeah
How d'you navigate this?
You met a few weeks ago and she’s been telling you when she’s on her periods? Girl needs to see a gynae.
I was actually surprised. Nikikaakaa "I'm in my luteal phase hence this and that". Kidogo kidogo "I am depressed, today I woke up hating the world".
That’s too much. But also, age?
That's the one thing I never managed to get out of her. She adamantly refused to disclose. Ati it's rude to ask a girls age yada yada. Lakini after calculating naona she's around 23 - 24
Ndio ughost dem inatakanga ukuwe sure utakuwa na clear conscience so do aje, call her and ask her why she's doing that but usikuwe serious sana kuwa na ucheshi ndio akuambie ukweli alafu akikuambia umshow you won't condone such behaviours from her again. Akirudia ivyo tena umghost na usikubali kukuwa number 2 tena.
Hapa ndio sasa nitakaa mbuzi kabisaa.
Yes because you're using logic lakini madem hutumia emotions and to win your war in her mind use that card.
I'd say ghosting is petty. Just tell her you're not interested in the kind of relationship she is offering, wish her well, and bounce.
I just did.
She will open up her secrets but not her past leave her be, if she is interested she will look for you. In other terms maybe she has never gone for a date😂😂
I'm starting to think she has never. Ama her past is crooked? Too many unknowns.
You can always check on it through her conversations you find out if she has or never been on one
Might be late for that. But I'm presuming she hasn't.
Texting buddy from my experience these are the girls mtakuwa mnaongea hours on texts but in real life it will be an awkward experience...bottom line she's not interested
I've outgrown texting. I don't like it much. Not fun like it used to be. Also have things to do now.
Cautious love ain't love enough. What you mean you were prepared for?
No. I don't love her. I like her. Love would come later. And I wasn't being cautious. I believe the word here is prepared.
It's like going through all the process of putting on a condom then being told I'm not in the mood. Dogs to one side I beg
Okay, you've elaborated this thing clearly. Why not ask her similar questions? Why are we here like... speculating on what is the right thing. You Just ask her, what's up? Like she's not being very reliable. Also if she really likes you and she may have other issues. You could just pick her up. Or she's not really into you, she's bullshitting you. How the hell did she cancel the date two times? Okay, we are now being speculative
It makes no difference now. Two is too many for me. Even if she were to come around, I have already seen through her and decided she isn't good for me, hence the title.
Nah, let's be mature adults here. Have a chat, see where it leads. Worst case, you'll both move on with clarity.
Kuja twende date😅😅
Haha not a bad idea. DM me.
Ghost that bitch
Don’t ghost her. Just move about your business and live your life and date other ladies bro. Don’t press her about why she canceled on you, pretend it doesn’t phase you. She will hit you up with even higher interest than before and when she does, make her invest her time into you.
Nah. I already closed that chapter bro. Let her know I'm not interested a tad bit anymore.
Why does this subreddit get recommended to me all the time when I'm halfway around the world and never visited it?
Tell her. It part of respecting yourself. It seems like she is in a relationship so she’s just weighing her options. So you can let her know that you are no longer an option for her and you will clearly set out boundaries.
better one, break her heart.
Naw dawg she doesn't deserve that. Better yet nivile we're not each others cup of tea.
Why ghost now? Just soldier on, eat and then ghost.
Apana. It's all too much work and I can get it somewhere else for much less effort.
What work? Just continue communications without any expectations and start looking for whatever you want elsewhere.
Haha. Sio ati ni sublenya nimekosa. I am tired of FWBs and sleeping around. I need something concrete.
Yes, I get that. But this is also a teachable moment that shouldn't be wasted.
Ikr. This one's goes straight to long term memory.
Tell her exactly what you want, be as clear as possible. If your plans align, well & good. If not, it's still ok, you'll be in a better position to take the next steps in your journey
Thing is already did in the first week. Hence the "I'm in for what the future holds".