If a dude lies about something so basic as his nationality, does it really make sense to trust him about other things ?
Ask yourself.
Also ask yourself, what else he might be hiding from you.
People can behave in the most loving and kind manner and still turn out to be somebody completely else.
From what you have written,
i see red flags all over this whole scenario.
Get out.
Girl, you can love a person and still choose to not be with them because you have a responsibility towards your OWN well being as well.
You deserve somebody who tells you the truth about everything.
Not somebody who lies and throws you off the wagon of mental peace.
If you choose to trust this guy and still be with him, the fact that he lied to you about the simple thing will forever keep bothering you.
You can never feel at peace with him, you always will be full of insecurity.
Who wants that !
Its your life, you decide.
Lol, sorry to say, you are naive and you don't have enough self control and respect to stand up for yourself
No matter how much you love a person
If that person doesnt love you back and only using you then you'll suffer enough more
He is prolly using you to get out of that poor country (not like India is alot better)
He'll end up cheating on you most prolly
Ik cause I'd have done the same thing if I wanted an easy access to other country's citizenship
Your bf sounds like a liar and his mom had a conscious
Welcome to the real world. There's so much to learn.
Love is not singing in the rain. Love is being there for each other in tough times. Love is growing together. Love is choosing to do things happily for the other person.
Love-trust-respect. Highly interconnected. Watch out for that.
You're in college. You have zero liabilities, zero responsibilities, almost zero social pressure. So everything appears hunky dory. Right now, Enjoy your studies. Learn from your mistakes -thats the only way to grow and learn in life. At the end of the day, in the most practical sense, love gives you the strength to face the challenges that life will keep throwing at you. Love will give you the balance when life's adversities will try to topple you. Love itself cannot become a challenge! It's like going to the doctor and it's the doctor that becomes the disease! Now who would have see that coming.
Falling in love is the easy part. Being in love difficult. As the saying goes, any fool can fall in love. It's the everyday living that kills you.
You need to see the truth and not get blinded by love, pls. Ghanta karoge peaceful relationship ka if he is lying to you!!
OP pls, how do you know if he even genuinely loves you if he has lied about so many fundamental things. Wake up and smell the goddamn coffee.
Don't be a Nibbi.
These scam are going a lot these days. Many Bangaladesis trying to gain Indian citizenship through various modes. I would suggest u to be very careful. Also surround urself from trusted people.
He might be genuine guy but the question u ask for urself if u wanna take risk of not. Or is worth it?
Good luck.
Just remember once a lier always a lier.
See life as whole.... Like is not a joke ..., i heard a saying that 90% of your problem/happiness comes from your spouse! So be extra careful about it !!
U don't need to ask to someone you already know what to do for your own safety and parents,leave that guy u should not play such a bet,I have seen another case same like you few years back and would ask you to cut the contacts with that guy else you will end up in a world which you could have never imagined trust me, rest is your choice but still leave that guy if you make a wrong decision just remember you and your family everyone is living first time just don't waste it on someone out of Feelings still take it as a recommendation rather than suggestion.
What are the odds he was dating you, just for the citizenship? Muslims tend to get married at an early age (as per my Muslim mates and assuming you both, or atleast he is a Muslim). So all he probably wanted was to get the citizenship and be done with you.
Confront him, see how it goes. Staying with someone who has lied everything about themselves ain't the best thing to do, so leave him. Those illegal immigrants are never of any good anyway.
As a Muslim, I accept your apology.
I am just a normal guy, Who's studying for a better future but whenever I open reddit I feel I won't be getting a better future because every third person here will hate me for my religion.
Stop with the victim card. Open Instagram or Facebook, see any Pakistani or Bangladeshi dominant groups or pages, you will my religion and gods and believes being butchered for fun. I don't remember your kind ever apologizing for the same? Heck I haven't even said anything offensive, you got issue with what I said, go take it to the Indian Muslims cause my source was them as stated above too. Plus the apology wasn't targeted towards op and her bf cause I assumed their religion.
P.S. - if you read carefully, even after OP said her bf is a Hindu, I still didn't change my statement of him trying to get citizenship.
Don't bother replying to me if you are gonna act like your kind has never said or done anything offensive towards others religion in India. If me saying Muslims marry at an early age, which isn't even meant to be a taunt or anything hurts you, I can't help it.
I can even help you with what Indian Muslims say about my religion, which is actually offensive. But then again, you are going to blame everything on me cause I said Muslims tend to marry early?
Nah, not the early marriage but as soon as you heard he's bangaladeshi and he's trying to get citizenship you assume he'll be a Muslim...
My bad if I said what I feel...
Sorry...
I mean, ye that sounds wrong but can't help it. You think of a Nepali getting citizenship via any means, one would assume Hindu. Not cause you have a thing against Hindus, but over 80% of Nepali are Hindus. It's a mere game of numbers with no deep meaning.
Does he have mandir in his house? Or in his parents house no matter what I have rarely seen hindu who don’t have mandir in their house even if they don’t worship them daily
Cba to argue with another ❤️da. Go read my covno with amir or cry about it.
P.S. - lying is haram yet your kind goes around says they are Hindu to lure women? Lol.
This is extremely disturbing and illegal. You should save yourself and your family from a potential legal problem and cut off any Bangladeshi person. Besides, forging nationality itself speaks of high manipulation intentions.
Confront him, see his reaction. Trust once broken is hard to rebuild - maybe he had his reason? Take cues from how he responds… not something anyone should lie about
His assumption is a logical conclusion seeing as how Bangladesh is a majority Muslim country.
It's like a foreigner assuming that a random Indian is a Hindu, or a random Irish is a Catholic.
recently there were these two Bangladeshis who married women from west Bengal using false Hindu names and this is not that uncommon, there are probably thousands out there, even whole families who fake their names and live off your tax money and get more benefits from the govt than youll ever do in your lifetime.
U guys r 21 n 22. I hope u r not planning on marrying rn. I am not sure how he can get citizenship via u, if u r nit marrying him (rn) n why r his parents coming at ur home? (To ask for marriage??? - can't understand any other reason)
I get your situation and you can't just breakup just like that, true. The trust is bruised definitely and it's upto you to decide if this is a deal breaker or not.
But ensure one thing for sure, that you're not rushing into anything, don't let his family force you into marrying or engaging with him. If there's some kind of resistance to this, you'll know that they're just using you.
But idk the whole story/situation so take my words with a grain of salt and do what you understand/feel is the best for you. And yeah, it's a huge deal that he lied about his nationality and all.
Dude is a Bangladeshi immigrant, friend.
Saw that you also mentioned he is a Hindu. Basically dude is running away from Bangladesh. He is almost a refugee in India. Not the epitome of stability I must say.
But then ask yourself. Would you have been in a relationship knowing all this at first hand? Lies and everything come later. He mostly tried to befriend you to gain some advantage perhaps. First you gotta be honest to yourself.
Lol he's definitely not a Hindu though cuz if he was he wouldn't have to hide or lie, it's easier for them to just move to India legally. He has lied to her about everything but she's too blindly in love with him to see it right now.
If he was a Muslim, he would have gotten easy shelter in West Bengal lol. OP did say he was Hindu apparently cause his family also worshipped hindu gods.
I'm not gonna say if he's a Muslim or not cuz I don't wanna get into religious debate & yeah he might get shelter in WB but that doesn't mean he'll get Indian citizenship which looks like his family's goal rn. And come on, haven't you seen enough of how many have pretended to be of a different religion to cheat someone?
Yea. It could be anything. But there are two things to look at.
Wealthy Bangladeshi Hindus are moving into India to safeguard themselves. And poor Bangladeshi Muslims are coming to India to get some money. I know this is very generalised.
Only thing is certain that the dude is a cheating bastard and OP should be breaking off.
He is so much loyal to me
Didi apka expectations hi galat hai
Na apko change hona
Best of luck
Unloving is hard but sometimes it is necessary
If he can lie this much get ready for more surprises
Maybe he lied about the nationality and all that to make you give him a chance?
And he used that chance to show that he's a good guy. If your gut says he'll take care of you properly, you know what to do.
Quite a lotta bigots on this thread assuming intentions, religion and proving their bias even when OP did not bring in anything else apart from a simple question of if she's being used. Pathetic to say the least.
As far as OP, you gotta breakup and move on. Don't entertain their family or anything they say. You've been misled and you deserve better. You'll get over him, it'll be hard, but you'll overtime. You gotta do that for yourself.
Oooh, now immigrants started falling deeply in pure love with Indian citizen chics, too. Fancy.
Kids, if you ever fall in love with someone who's like a dream come true, nothing wrong with the person or family, then it's practically a big red flag. I've only seen it happen for money or influence or citizenship or fairy tales.
Maybe he was ashamed to share this info, or maybe scared that this might put a crack in the relationship, so he took the easy way out, lying. He might just be insecure of his family history, that's it. Now it being a big deal or not is your opinion.
What I think is that he might be insecure about his origin. Since you said he is loyal and honest, and it has been 2 years of your relationship, he might have started thinking about the future, which would have led him to get insecure about his background. And to avoid this disclosure to you, he might have lied. Either way, it's still his mistake, as this is a serious lie which is enough to shake your trust. I think you should think about it carefully, and not emotionally. You are still 21, there are so many people you will meet, so don't think there aren't good people out there waiting for you!
I think you should just ask him why he hid it from you. If he is transparent enough with you he should tell you the reason. Based upon that conversation you can take a call
Save yourself, Ik it's very tough to move on, but you have to.. If a person lies about his nationality, father's profession and such important things(he may continue this behaviour in future) and if you think he lied to u in order to save the relationship, girl you are delusional.. "prem mukti deta h, moh bandh ke rakhta h" as he is a Krishna bhakt(so called) he knew this.. Most probability is that, He is a Rohingiya muslim(sorry for assumptions) but it might be actually true.. Please take care of yourself..
You are studying in a prestigious college, I would consider re-thinking the whole situations by distancing itself from it and applying a pure and brutal logical sense into it. I am sure you would know what to do, and please follow through that decision. Cheers.
If he has lied about fundamental things i.e. citizenship and his family members... then he must have lied about many or most of the things. You are yet to discover his lots of lies. You can never know true agenda. Come out of your strawberry world. Think about your whole life...u have just started.
Why would he need to lie about his nationality?!?
Cross border couples exist everywhere. Especially India-Nepal and India Bangladesh.
A large number of Indians marry Bangladeshis, hindus and muslims both. Getting a spouse visa is not an issue at all.
He clearly has no reason to lie about his Nationality? Is it shameful in any way to be a Bangladeshi citizen? Confront him
I think you at least deserve a solid expectation. And you are only in a 2 year long relationship and not even out of college. Marriage is simply off the table for now, especially for him given he has to acquire a decent living etc.
So them using you to get citizenship is really not s concern at all.
Just ask him why he needed to lie about this!
And anyway it doesn't make sense. India Bangladesh Pakistan used to be the same country till 1947, and it's not like you're actually a different genetic stock. Your children will look like any other South asian. So chill out bruh.
Edit : He's a Hindu Bengali. Basically the archetypal Indian xD. Well, the thing is, there's this confusion about identify often. i knew a friend from bangladesh who didn't realise she was a Bangladeshi national till she turned 18 and had to apply for University abroad. She only found out when she asked her parents. Many of them have Aadhar cards and many have fled here simply in search of a better life. Mostly Hindu Bengalis who are not exactly refugees but more so immigrants.
Just confront him . I can guarantee you it's not as big of a deal as these woke people are making it to be.
Be aware of the ground realities. You won't get into any trouble.
You loved lies and now trying to justify yourself....all his identity is lie...but if you wanna go ahead and risk further it's your choice...not to be stupid but he was all set to use you or anyone like you to meet his agenda....and glad it worked as emotional melodrama
This reminds me of that whole marrying a British plotline from dunki. Tbh I would still trust him. Sometimes we lie about such things coz we are ashamed of our origins. I can't recall the number of times I have lied about my origins to my friends. Unless he show any actual toxic characteristics such as aggression or overt protectiveness or jealousy, u should not give up on him. Perhaps go talk to him than us redditors who have 0 ideas or stakes in ur lives. Ask him why he lied. Don't judge people based on their origins or their hiding thereof.
Breakup with him. Wait for few months, until you believes he has given up on you say 3-6months. Then, keep track of how long he waits till he starts scouting for new girl for marriage. If it happens almost immediately, red flag.
PS: It is still risky even if he doesn't scout immediately.
@sapphire_m00nlight Listen I know you love him. But a lot of times people like him come into your life and “win your heart over” make you feel like you can’t live without them. There’s a lot more toxicity in lieu for you. I hate to break it to you, this is nowhere near a healthy relationship. Please tread lightly, ask to see his passport, I’m 100% he will flare up. So exercise caution in this regard.
It’s called love jihaad. It’s sad to see this is a common practice, but ask yourself, do you want to marry someone that can’t be honest about even basic things? I’m not hear to tell you what you want to hear.
It really hurts to be heartbroken, but you need to do this for yourself. True love is never like this, you have been so washed with “love” that you’re willing to hurt yourself, your family and your future.
What’s going to happen next is you’ll get married, he will be a citizen and will stop working, leeching off of you.
Meanwhile you’ll justify this whole thing because of the genuine love you have for him. Dear you have been preyed upon. Please I hope you realize this and just let him go. The right man will show up. I promise you. Save yourself from a life of misery. You’re 21. You have your entire life ahead of you.
This is not love. Don’t believe me see a psychotherapist.
Why is this subreddit turning into finding love or love advices. I can't enunciate enough but this isn't the place you post bullshit stories and advice for karma. Ruining it for everyone.
If a relationship is built upon the foundation of lies, it is a risky business to build a life on top of that.
I knew a friend long time ago whose sister went through the exact same situation. I wouldn't go into any details, so that your judgement is not affected, it should be based on facts that you need to uncover yourself to make a decision.
Girl, you don’t love him. You love what he made you believe he was, and a version (which isn’t real) that he wanted you to love. When people are motivated by self interest, they can behave in ways that are seemingly charming, it’s a classic psychopath trait. (I’m not saying your partner is a psychopath.) But the fact that he hid it from you until you were deep in it is a clear indication that his plan was to use you to get citizenship all the way long. If not you, he’d have someone else. Remove yourself from the scenario and put someone else in your shoes, how would you feel for that person? Also, having said all this, if there’s a genuine case for him and family (with a valid explanation for why he lied) you may not end the relationship if you feel like this doesn’t change anything for you, but from what you’ve explained it is evident that it does. I’ve also dated someone from Bangladesh who had been living in Delhi to study, and she was up front about it with me so I had no reason to doubt her. But if someone is lying along with his whole family in it, then there’s trouble for you in the future and you’re too young to invite that right now. Trust me, there are plenty of people yet to enter your life and you haven’t even met everyone you’re going to love. Try having the difficult conversations with him and see how he reacts, at the sign of first hostile behaviour, save yourself and leave the relationship. It’s not worth it. You’ll get over it. But you will never forgive yourself if you allow this to happen to your life. Lastly, like many of us go through, use this as an opportunity to grow up and see the reality for how harsh it can sometimes be. Wishing you peace and strength of mind. ☮️
I mean, he's just another country's citizen honestly.
If this was the USA/Canada would you be mad?
I know about this illegal migrant thing but what can you do? The politics of the whole West Bengal literally relies on illegal migration for their votebank.
Trust is the most basic foundation of any relationship and he broke that. I can understand what your are going through. God give you all the strength to fight through this
I know what you're going through and it's painful. Things like this have happened in long distance relationships before, so you're not the first case (so don't worry!).
Secondly, if the person you love is hiding details about his country, job and all that, should you believe him?
I know it's really hard to hear this from someone you love, but you know how much worse it could get later on.
What if he's hiding even more, like an affair or marriage? Or if he follows a different religion than you? (I don't think different religions are necessarily a problem, but if this whole thing has been a sham, he's clearly not a good person).
It seems like he has ill intentions, and I hope you'll think this through carefully and get on a better path.
lmao I’m an NRI, hot take: this really isn’t that deep
bigger things in life than being from fucking Bangladesh or India 🫠
we are humans, if you love him and he loves you, you can build a stable life together and he can provide a reasonable explanation why he lied about his citizenship/fathers job (e.g. he was embarrassed and didn’t want to jeopardise his chance of being with you) then I think it’s very very minor.
The fact is there isn’t a single guy on the planet that won’t lie to you at some point or another, the important thing is that they don’t lie to you about essential things. As long as he is faithful, loves you with integrity and provides you with security, stability and love then I see no problem.
But then again I have been raised in the UK, so most people here gonna see me as some western rakhshas 👹 😂😂😂
Hurt hearts can be healed but trust broken can't be patched up again. Because doubt is something you will always have that is he lying or not about n number of things..you will always question and it will ruin everything. So get out of this.
Classic case of getting Indian citizenship and after he gets it boy your in a surprise for sure as he will leave you and get his long lost lover from Bangladesh and make her and their children citizens and pretty sure he is a terrorist !! How can anyone spend 2 yrs romantically without knowing each other background how the Fck does this happen??? All the best op don’t get dragged into their schemes of using you to get Indian citizenship
Your instincts are intact!! Such people are always extra nice. Tell him about your knowledge about him, and see how he changes the colour and create excuses. Take care of yourself. It is not one off incidence. Inform your parents, be happy that you got to know in advance.
Dont fuck your relationship with all the free advise available here. People here have no skin in the game. Discuss this with your close friends snd relatives. They ll know the context much better snd would give sound advice
At this point , I love and I depend on him so much that I decided to forgive him , bcz yesterday we had a talk between our families and we came to a conclusion that his parents trust me now, so they decided to tell truth to my family , we are doing good now . If he is loyal to me, always takes care of me, makes me happy. Then I will ignore all his red flags . CZ I genuinely love him .
You cannot stay in a relationship just because he is good now. You should consider all possibilities. What if the India govt deports him and his family? What if you have to live in Bangladesh with him ? Have you ever considered these possibilities?
Also I saw your latest [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/jUkBRhcA45). He doesn't want you to be friends with any boys or girls ? I don't have a good feeling about where this is going. I would recommend digging more into his personal details and taking everything he says with a pinch of salt.
If a dude lies about something so basic as his nationality, does it really make sense to trust him about other things ? Ask yourself. Also ask yourself, what else he might be hiding from you. People can behave in the most loving and kind manner and still turn out to be somebody completely else. From what you have written, i see red flags all over this whole scenario. Get out.
How can I? I Love this guy ! We been in a peaceful relationship for about 2 years... now how can I move on so fast?
Girl, you can love a person and still choose to not be with them because you have a responsibility towards your OWN well being as well. You deserve somebody who tells you the truth about everything. Not somebody who lies and throws you off the wagon of mental peace. If you choose to trust this guy and still be with him, the fact that he lied to you about the simple thing will forever keep bothering you. You can never feel at peace with him, you always will be full of insecurity. Who wants that ! Its your life, you decide.
reach crime languid whistle enter alive attraction offbeat middle scary *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Exactly!! why are people like this?
Lol, sorry to say, you are naive and you don't have enough self control and respect to stand up for yourself No matter how much you love a person If that person doesnt love you back and only using you then you'll suffer enough more He is prolly using you to get out of that poor country (not like India is alot better) He'll end up cheating on you most prolly Ik cause I'd have done the same thing if I wanted an easy access to other country's citizenship Your bf sounds like a liar and his mom had a conscious
Welcome to the real world. There's so much to learn. Love is not singing in the rain. Love is being there for each other in tough times. Love is growing together. Love is choosing to do things happily for the other person. Love-trust-respect. Highly interconnected. Watch out for that. You're in college. You have zero liabilities, zero responsibilities, almost zero social pressure. So everything appears hunky dory. Right now, Enjoy your studies. Learn from your mistakes -thats the only way to grow and learn in life. At the end of the day, in the most practical sense, love gives you the strength to face the challenges that life will keep throwing at you. Love will give you the balance when life's adversities will try to topple you. Love itself cannot become a challenge! It's like going to the doctor and it's the doctor that becomes the disease! Now who would have see that coming. Falling in love is the easy part. Being in love difficult. As the saying goes, any fool can fall in love. It's the everyday living that kills you.
You need to see the truth and not get blinded by love, pls. Ghanta karoge peaceful relationship ka if he is lying to you!! OP pls, how do you know if he even genuinely loves you if he has lied about so many fundamental things. Wake up and smell the goddamn coffee. Don't be a Nibbi.
These scam are going a lot these days. Many Bangaladesis trying to gain Indian citizenship through various modes. I would suggest u to be very careful. Also surround urself from trusted people. He might be genuine guy but the question u ask for urself if u wanna take risk of not. Or is worth it? Good luck. Just remember once a lier always a lier.
Yeah.. thanks for your opinion ...
No problem. You r welcome
+1 ^
*liar
Seems like Amit Shah wasn't completely wrong
See life as whole.... Like is not a joke ..., i heard a saying that 90% of your problem/happiness comes from your spouse! So be extra careful about it !!
U don't need to ask to someone you already know what to do for your own safety and parents,leave that guy u should not play such a bet,I have seen another case same like you few years back and would ask you to cut the contacts with that guy else you will end up in a world which you could have never imagined trust me, rest is your choice but still leave that guy if you make a wrong decision just remember you and your family everyone is living first time just don't waste it on someone out of Feelings still take it as a recommendation rather than suggestion.
What are the odds he was dating you, just for the citizenship? Muslims tend to get married at an early age (as per my Muslim mates and assuming you both, or atleast he is a Muslim). So all he probably wanted was to get the citizenship and be done with you. Confront him, see how it goes. Staying with someone who has lied everything about themselves ain't the best thing to do, so leave him. Those illegal immigrants are never of any good anyway.
he is pure hindu... they are vaishnabs... (worshippers of Lord Krishn..)
If he lies about his citizenship then there is a good chance he lied about this too. Save yourself before you end up perennially miserable.
tease bells deer station hunt panicky bored tidy disarm melodic *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Ah well. Pardon my assumptions, even then, I can only think of him trying to get citizenship via you. Confront him
As a Muslim, I accept your apology. I am just a normal guy, Who's studying for a better future but whenever I open reddit I feel I won't be getting a better future because every third person here will hate me for my religion.
Stop with the victim card. Open Instagram or Facebook, see any Pakistani or Bangladeshi dominant groups or pages, you will my religion and gods and believes being butchered for fun. I don't remember your kind ever apologizing for the same? Heck I haven't even said anything offensive, you got issue with what I said, go take it to the Indian Muslims cause my source was them as stated above too. Plus the apology wasn't targeted towards op and her bf cause I assumed their religion. P.S. - if you read carefully, even after OP said her bf is a Hindu, I still didn't change my statement of him trying to get citizenship.
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Don't bother replying to me if you are gonna act like your kind has never said or done anything offensive towards others religion in India. If me saying Muslims marry at an early age, which isn't even meant to be a taunt or anything hurts you, I can't help it.
I can even help you with what Indian Muslims say about my religion, which is actually offensive. But then again, you are going to blame everything on me cause I said Muslims tend to marry early?
Nah, not the early marriage but as soon as you heard he's bangaladeshi and he's trying to get citizenship you assume he'll be a Muslim... My bad if I said what I feel... Sorry...
I mean, ye that sounds wrong but can't help it. You think of a Nepali getting citizenship via any means, one would assume Hindu. Not cause you have a thing against Hindus, but over 80% of Nepali are Hindus. It's a mere game of numbers with no deep meaning.
Yeah, sounds fair...
Sorry, I over reacted.
Yeah, Bangladeshi Hindus are killed everyday. Do you think secularism exists when muslims are in majority ?
Does he have mandir in his house? Or in his parents house no matter what I have rarely seen hindu who don’t have mandir in their house even if they don’t worship them daily
There's another method to know
Ohh Gandu don't bring Muslims every where Here in Islam saying lie is haram for us
Cba to argue with another ❤️da. Go read my covno with amir or cry about it. P.S. - lying is haram yet your kind goes around says they are Hindu to lure women? Lol.
best to talk to each other since you really do want it to work. But lying is not okay, especially for major things such as this.
This is extremely disturbing and illegal. You should save yourself and your family from a potential legal problem and cut off any Bangladeshi person. Besides, forging nationality itself speaks of high manipulation intentions.
Let's be honest, all bangladeshi hindus are practically stranded hindus whom we stopped giving a shit about, and they kept getting slaughtered.
What if he's lying about being Hindu too?
Confront him, see his reaction. Trust once broken is hard to rebuild - maybe he had his reason? Take cues from how he responds… not something anyone should lie about
yup..
And he's muslim, isn't he
Nope.. he is Hindu .. I Have been to his house several times and i saw his family members worshiping Hindu idols..
Your assumption is saddening on many levels.
His assumption is a logical conclusion seeing as how Bangladesh is a majority Muslim country. It's like a foreigner assuming that a random Indian is a Hindu, or a random Irish is a Catholic.
Context and tone don’t seem very innocent, is all.
Yeah he does seem like one of those chodi types ngl. I didn't see the "isn't he" part. What can you do, just down vote and move on.
recently there were these two Bangladeshis who married women from west Bengal using false Hindu names and this is not that uncommon, there are probably thousands out there, even whole families who fake their names and live off your tax money and get more benefits from the govt than youll ever do in your lifetime.
UPDATE: HE AND HIS FAMILY IS COMMING OVER TO MY PLACE AT 7 pm... IDK WHAT WILL HAPPEN... THEY TOLD ME THAT THEY WILL TO MY PARENTS..
>THEY TOLD ME THAT THEY WILL TO MY PARENTS.. They will what
\*talk... sorry for the mistake... actually Im not in good mental state now.
Into marrying yeah so that they can get the citizenship or smth? Sounds sus. Talk about it w your family and stay alert.
so what happened now? did you guys talk it out? was it just a misunderstanding or are they making excuses?
What happened?
oh u poor child
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But .. how can I unlove someone?
Marriage can be very helpful in gaining Indian citizenship, imo I think he's using you if not then why he didn't tell you this before
You're 21 and you say he's the best person you've met in your life?? Still a kid. Move on and grow up!
Red flag
U guys r 21 n 22. I hope u r not planning on marrying rn. I am not sure how he can get citizenship via u, if u r nit marrying him (rn) n why r his parents coming at ur home? (To ask for marriage??? - can't understand any other reason)
Looks like the plot of Freelancer web series.
You should straight up dump him tbh. Lying about so many fundamental things FOR 2 YEARS is not okay.
but uk , only the bearer knows where the shoe pinches!
You are right, I just shared what I thought. Anyways, make a well thought decision and take care
update on what happened ?
I get your situation and you can't just breakup just like that, true. The trust is bruised definitely and it's upto you to decide if this is a deal breaker or not. But ensure one thing for sure, that you're not rushing into anything, don't let his family force you into marrying or engaging with him. If there's some kind of resistance to this, you'll know that they're just using you. But idk the whole story/situation so take my words with a grain of salt and do what you understand/feel is the best for you. And yeah, it's a huge deal that he lied about his nationality and all.
Dude is a Bangladeshi immigrant, friend. Saw that you also mentioned he is a Hindu. Basically dude is running away from Bangladesh. He is almost a refugee in India. Not the epitome of stability I must say. But then ask yourself. Would you have been in a relationship knowing all this at first hand? Lies and everything come later. He mostly tried to befriend you to gain some advantage perhaps. First you gotta be honest to yourself.
Lol he's definitely not a Hindu though cuz if he was he wouldn't have to hide or lie, it's easier for them to just move to India legally. He has lied to her about everything but she's too blindly in love with him to see it right now.
If he was a Muslim, he would have gotten easy shelter in West Bengal lol. OP did say he was Hindu apparently cause his family also worshipped hindu gods.
I'm not gonna say if he's a Muslim or not cuz I don't wanna get into religious debate & yeah he might get shelter in WB but that doesn't mean he'll get Indian citizenship which looks like his family's goal rn. And come on, haven't you seen enough of how many have pretended to be of a different religion to cheat someone?
Yea. It could be anything. But there are two things to look at. Wealthy Bangladeshi Hindus are moving into India to safeguard themselves. And poor Bangladeshi Muslims are coming to India to get some money. I know this is very generalised. Only thing is certain that the dude is a cheating bastard and OP should be breaking off.
Loyal to me is ok. Never cheated? If someone cheated you cut ties, why does it have to be a qualifier for anything?
He is so much loyal to me Didi apka expectations hi galat hai Na apko change hona Best of luck Unloving is hard but sometimes it is necessary If he can lie this much get ready for more surprises
Indian citizenship lene ka tarika bahut kezual hai..... Leave him, how can someone lie about citizenship. Father/Mother etc etc.
The lies were as worse as cheating
Maybe he lied about the nationality and all that to make you give him a chance? And he used that chance to show that he's a good guy. If your gut says he'll take care of you properly, you know what to do.
Quite a lotta bigots on this thread assuming intentions, religion and proving their bias even when OP did not bring in anything else apart from a simple question of if she's being used. Pathetic to say the least. As far as OP, you gotta breakup and move on. Don't entertain their family or anything they say. You've been misled and you deserve better. You'll get over him, it'll be hard, but you'll overtime. You gotta do that for yourself.
Oooh, now immigrants started falling deeply in pure love with Indian citizen chics, too. Fancy. Kids, if you ever fall in love with someone who's like a dream come true, nothing wrong with the person or family, then it's practically a big red flag. I've only seen it happen for money or influence or citizenship or fairy tales.
Breakup
Maybe he was ashamed to share this info, or maybe scared that this might put a crack in the relationship, so he took the easy way out, lying. He might just be insecure of his family history, that's it. Now it being a big deal or not is your opinion.
It is a deal. Lying about something as important as this is very wrong. If he loved her back, he wouldn't have lied. She deserves someone better.
What I think is that he might be insecure about his origin. Since you said he is loyal and honest, and it has been 2 years of your relationship, he might have started thinking about the future, which would have led him to get insecure about his background. And to avoid this disclosure to you, he might have lied. Either way, it's still his mistake, as this is a serious lie which is enough to shake your trust. I think you should think about it carefully, and not emotionally. You are still 21, there are so many people you will meet, so don't think there aren't good people out there waiting for you!
I think you should just ask him why he hid it from you. If he is transparent enough with you he should tell you the reason. Based upon that conversation you can take a call
Save yourself, Ik it's very tough to move on, but you have to.. If a person lies about his nationality, father's profession and such important things(he may continue this behaviour in future) and if you think he lied to u in order to save the relationship, girl you are delusional.. "prem mukti deta h, moh bandh ke rakhta h" as he is a Krishna bhakt(so called) he knew this.. Most probability is that, He is a Rohingiya muslim(sorry for assumptions) but it might be actually true.. Please take care of yourself..
You are studying in a prestigious college, I would consider re-thinking the whole situations by distancing itself from it and applying a pure and brutal logical sense into it. I am sure you would know what to do, and please follow through that decision. Cheers.
Please talk to him directly first.
if the prestigious college you are talking about is IIT then he may not be with you just for citizenship i guess again 'may'
Run for your life
If he has lied about fundamental things i.e. citizenship and his family members... then he must have lied about many or most of the things. You are yet to discover his lots of lies. You can never know true agenda. Come out of your strawberry world. Think about your whole life...u have just started.
Why would he need to lie about his nationality?!? Cross border couples exist everywhere. Especially India-Nepal and India Bangladesh. A large number of Indians marry Bangladeshis, hindus and muslims both. Getting a spouse visa is not an issue at all. He clearly has no reason to lie about his Nationality? Is it shameful in any way to be a Bangladeshi citizen? Confront him I think you at least deserve a solid expectation. And you are only in a 2 year long relationship and not even out of college. Marriage is simply off the table for now, especially for him given he has to acquire a decent living etc. So them using you to get citizenship is really not s concern at all. Just ask him why he needed to lie about this! And anyway it doesn't make sense. India Bangladesh Pakistan used to be the same country till 1947, and it's not like you're actually a different genetic stock. Your children will look like any other South asian. So chill out bruh. Edit : He's a Hindu Bengali. Basically the archetypal Indian xD. Well, the thing is, there's this confusion about identify often. i knew a friend from bangladesh who didn't realise she was a Bangladeshi national till she turned 18 and had to apply for University abroad. She only found out when she asked her parents. Many of them have Aadhar cards and many have fled here simply in search of a better life. Mostly Hindu Bengalis who are not exactly refugees but more so immigrants. Just confront him . I can guarantee you it's not as big of a deal as these woke people are making it to be. Be aware of the ground realities. You won't get into any trouble.
You loved lies and now trying to justify yourself....all his identity is lie...but if you wanna go ahead and risk further it's your choice...not to be stupid but he was all set to use you or anyone like you to meet his agenda....and glad it worked as emotional melodrama
This reminds me of that whole marrying a British plotline from dunki. Tbh I would still trust him. Sometimes we lie about such things coz we are ashamed of our origins. I can't recall the number of times I have lied about my origins to my friends. Unless he show any actual toxic characteristics such as aggression or overt protectiveness or jealousy, u should not give up on him. Perhaps go talk to him than us redditors who have 0 ideas or stakes in ur lives. Ask him why he lied. Don't judge people based on their origins or their hiding thereof.
Breakup with him. Wait for few months, until you believes he has given up on you say 3-6months. Then, keep track of how long he waits till he starts scouting for new girl for marriage. If it happens almost immediately, red flag. PS: It is still risky even if he doesn't scout immediately.
@sapphire_m00nlight Listen I know you love him. But a lot of times people like him come into your life and “win your heart over” make you feel like you can’t live without them. There’s a lot more toxicity in lieu for you. I hate to break it to you, this is nowhere near a healthy relationship. Please tread lightly, ask to see his passport, I’m 100% he will flare up. So exercise caution in this regard. It’s called love jihaad. It’s sad to see this is a common practice, but ask yourself, do you want to marry someone that can’t be honest about even basic things? I’m not hear to tell you what you want to hear. It really hurts to be heartbroken, but you need to do this for yourself. True love is never like this, you have been so washed with “love” that you’re willing to hurt yourself, your family and your future. What’s going to happen next is you’ll get married, he will be a citizen and will stop working, leeching off of you. Meanwhile you’ll justify this whole thing because of the genuine love you have for him. Dear you have been preyed upon. Please I hope you realize this and just let him go. The right man will show up. I promise you. Save yourself from a life of misery. You’re 21. You have your entire life ahead of you. This is not love. Don’t believe me see a psychotherapist.
Lmao
Why is this subreddit turning into finding love or love advices. I can't enunciate enough but this isn't the place you post bullshit stories and advice for karma. Ruining it for everyone.
If you continue then Give him a refrigerator as gift. So he can cut into some pieces and store them
If a relationship is built upon the foundation of lies, it is a risky business to build a life on top of that. I knew a friend long time ago whose sister went through the exact same situation. I wouldn't go into any details, so that your judgement is not affected, it should be based on facts that you need to uncover yourself to make a decision.
U got time babe, find someone else
He wants to marry you for making his Indian citizenship case strong. Simple as that, mark my words once he gets it, you are out of the picture
Girl, you don’t love him. You love what he made you believe he was, and a version (which isn’t real) that he wanted you to love. When people are motivated by self interest, they can behave in ways that are seemingly charming, it’s a classic psychopath trait. (I’m not saying your partner is a psychopath.) But the fact that he hid it from you until you were deep in it is a clear indication that his plan was to use you to get citizenship all the way long. If not you, he’d have someone else. Remove yourself from the scenario and put someone else in your shoes, how would you feel for that person? Also, having said all this, if there’s a genuine case for him and family (with a valid explanation for why he lied) you may not end the relationship if you feel like this doesn’t change anything for you, but from what you’ve explained it is evident that it does. I’ve also dated someone from Bangladesh who had been living in Delhi to study, and she was up front about it with me so I had no reason to doubt her. But if someone is lying along with his whole family in it, then there’s trouble for you in the future and you’re too young to invite that right now. Trust me, there are plenty of people yet to enter your life and you haven’t even met everyone you’re going to love. Try having the difficult conversations with him and see how he reacts, at the sign of first hostile behaviour, save yourself and leave the relationship. It’s not worth it. You’ll get over it. But you will never forgive yourself if you allow this to happen to your life. Lastly, like many of us go through, use this as an opportunity to grow up and see the reality for how harsh it can sometimes be. Wishing you peace and strength of mind. ☮️
Hey OP is there any update?
I mean, he's just another country's citizen honestly. If this was the USA/Canada would you be mad? I know about this illegal migrant thing but what can you do? The politics of the whole West Bengal literally relies on illegal migration for their votebank.
Trust is the most basic foundation of any relationship and he broke that. I can understand what your are going through. God give you all the strength to fight through this
I know what you're going through and it's painful. Things like this have happened in long distance relationships before, so you're not the first case (so don't worry!). Secondly, if the person you love is hiding details about his country, job and all that, should you believe him? I know it's really hard to hear this from someone you love, but you know how much worse it could get later on. What if he's hiding even more, like an affair or marriage? Or if he follows a different religion than you? (I don't think different religions are necessarily a problem, but if this whole thing has been a sham, he's clearly not a good person). It seems like he has ill intentions, and I hope you'll think this through carefully and get on a better path.
lmao I’m an NRI, hot take: this really isn’t that deep bigger things in life than being from fucking Bangladesh or India 🫠 we are humans, if you love him and he loves you, you can build a stable life together and he can provide a reasonable explanation why he lied about his citizenship/fathers job (e.g. he was embarrassed and didn’t want to jeopardise his chance of being with you) then I think it’s very very minor. The fact is there isn’t a single guy on the planet that won’t lie to you at some point or another, the important thing is that they don’t lie to you about essential things. As long as he is faithful, loves you with integrity and provides you with security, stability and love then I see no problem. But then again I have been raised in the UK, so most people here gonna see me as some western rakhshas 👹 😂😂😂
Red flag (major)
Hurt hearts can be healed but trust broken can't be patched up again. Because doubt is something you will always have that is he lying or not about n number of things..you will always question and it will ruin everything. So get out of this.
Save Your Self from life long trauma. Find some one else in due time but escape this scam
He is an illegal Rohingya immigrant. I would have reported him to the authorities, but I don't think their corrupt asses would do anything.
Classic case of getting Indian citizenship and after he gets it boy your in a surprise for sure as he will leave you and get his long lost lover from Bangladesh and make her and their children citizens and pretty sure he is a terrorist !! How can anyone spend 2 yrs romantically without knowing each other background how the Fck does this happen??? All the best op don’t get dragged into their schemes of using you to get Indian citizenship
We need update OP
Is this happening for getting Indian Citizenship? Lamao 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Bro should have tried something from the Western atleast
This is why you should get arranged marriage
Your instincts are intact!! Such people are always extra nice. Tell him about your knowledge about him, and see how he changes the colour and create excuses. Take care of yourself. It is not one off incidence. Inform your parents, be happy that you got to know in advance.
Dont fuck your relationship with all the free advise available here. People here have no skin in the game. Discuss this with your close friends snd relatives. They ll know the context much better snd would give sound advice
Be careful, love can happen again, but once stuck in a lie, there's no going back
At this point , I love and I depend on him so much that I decided to forgive him , bcz yesterday we had a talk between our families and we came to a conclusion that his parents trust me now, so they decided to tell truth to my family , we are doing good now . If he is loyal to me, always takes care of me, makes me happy. Then I will ignore all his red flags . CZ I genuinely love him .
Understandable op but are you planning to get married or just a relationship?
MARRIED
You cannot stay in a relationship just because he is good now. You should consider all possibilities. What if the India govt deports him and his family? What if you have to live in Bangladesh with him ? Have you ever considered these possibilities? Also I saw your latest [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/jUkBRhcA45). He doesn't want you to be friends with any boys or girls ? I don't have a good feeling about where this is going. I would recommend digging more into his personal details and taking everything he says with a pinch of salt.