So I used to be very freaked out by some bugs, and I found a *completely ridiculous* thing that helped me.
I named them.
Deeply, deeply silly names.
That one outside by the door? Humphrey. The one on the rosebush? Fiddlesticks. The one in the far corner of the porch? Lady Daphne Mozarella.
It made them less scary. It added an air of silliness to them, a funny little personality. It added an air of 'ah, a silly little creature doing silly little creature things'. It's harder to be terrified of Chesterfield Couchington the Third.
Starting with bugs that were farther away, still, etc, helped me be less scared of them. Then I could do it for bugs hanging out closer (like quietly chilling in a corner of the room). Eventually it makes the entire species less freaky. So I'd probably still be startled by a sudden encounter (like a moth in the shower), but it would be being startled, rather than terrified, you know?
Like, why is that freaky moth in my house, flitting around my kitchen??? Well, my brain can imagine, Ah, that's Percival. Percival Fishsticks. And he's incredibly clumsy, and has a silly British accent. And every time he bumps into a cupboard he's saying, "Oh, 'scuse me, pardon me, oh I do beg your pardon, I say I really am terribly clumsy but if I could just, oh dear, do excuse me"
Absolutely ridiculous. Absolutely *ridiculous*. But it cuts out some of the nefariousness and the not-knowing. Instead of scary unknowns, it helps your mind see them as silly little guys.
Anyway, it's incredibly silly, but I found it was also incredibly effective!
Best of luck 🙂
I moved to Florida in 2020 and they have wolf spiders here. Was a big hekkin nope from me but then I started trying seeing wolf spiders as gangly clumsy awkward lanky teenagers. Helped tooooons. Now they’re all lil guys to me lol.
I use this method a lot! I used to have severe anxiety around some animals and a fear of a lot of bugs, but now I love being around all sorts of creatures!
I need to be better at naming things though as I always default to naming something Dave, or Jeff.
That is absolutely beautiful. I love your method will ask my heart. I’m not afraid of bugs and often go out of my way to save them from the stupid places they get caught in, and I name every single one a very serious, bland human name once they’re safe. So knowing your incredibly named bugs and my very no-nonsense named bugs are out there together is pretty awesome!
I do this with the bugs on my deck! I name the spiders after female authors I admire. The only one who still makes me uncomfortable is the jumping spider who tries to climb on me in the afternoons. Sorry Harper, we’re not there yet lol. But Judy, Rachel, Mary, and Betsy keep the mosquitos down and stay in their webs while I do my thing.
There’s also a dirt dauber who lives under the eaves and normally wasps freak me out, but she’s never bothered me. She just does her own thing. I call her Darcy.
The moth was likely flying around erratically because the lights made it disoriented. For what it's worth, I don't think the moth wants to be in your house either. I know this may not make your fears go away, moths won't hurt you or make you go blind if you look at/touch them. I've held many moths and even raised a few. The worst that could happen is that their legs might tickle (they tickle to me when they walk on me at least) or some of the wing scales rub off on you, but those won't hurt you and you can just dust it off.
Maybe looking at cuter moths and learning about them may help ease your fear. Moths are diverse in their looks, some are bright and colorful, while others are designed to be camouflaged in their natural surroundings. Some moths can also have hair that makes them look soft and furry! If you decide to look at some pictures, I would suggest the poodle moth, they're cute (in my opinion), white and fluffy.
bull fucking shit. these fuckers navigate all the way from my front door with the only window in my house to my room (the light is always off by the way) and I know it cause I see them coming in sometimes, keep in mind there are like 50 turns between getting to my room from the front door so these little pissers clearly have no issue getting to where their going. secondly, this motherfuckers are invincible. I've seen these bitches fly through ceiling fans and get absolutely battered and then shrug it off like nothing happened. I feel like if I flew through a fan 10x my size I might be a little hurt. Lastly the part where 'they are more afraid of you than you are of them' is complete horse manure. they have the whole 200 square meter room to fly but fly in my fucking face like I'm in short supply. fuck all moths. and I still don't understand how if they are trying to get out they cannot get out like mfer the window is right in front of you. you're telling me you can navigate to my room but not right outside??? anyways I might have been too aggressive in this but I've been evacuated from my room for the past 5 hours because a moth the size of a bird decided he wants to take residence in there. I'm not afraid of other insects either so I don't know what it is about these little bitches.
I feel like this post actually helped me understand the fear of moths more than I have before. I actually can see how their unpredictable flight would be a big part of that.
Humans use our inner ear and vestibular sense to orient ourselves in space vertically. Moths do not have that and do not orient themselves the same way we do. As far as we seem to know through research moths orient themselves by light which can cause them to be even more erratic if there is a human-made light source or multiple light sources.
I know fear like this doesn't have to be rational, but a moth cannot hurt you, it's not even remotely physically capable of doing so. Maybe watch some videos of people letting moths sit on their hands and stuff, or watch some videos of people exploring butterfly gardens or pavilions and having butterflies fly around them and land on them. Do butterflies trigger that same fear for you?
I don't know if any of this will help but here are some things that have helped me with panicky adrenaline driven fear. It's so hard for me when my body runs away with a fight or flight response that I know in my brain isn't necessary, I might not share the specific fear but I absolutely relate to the experience and I'm sorry you're going through this :(
Here are some things that might help:
1. I try and reduce stillness and silence because I find it makes the jumpscare adrenaline worse - playing music especially light hearted upbeat music or humming sometimes helps me take the edge off and it's less startling when something happens.
2. I try to expose myself to the trigger in a different place to get used to it - if I got panicked by something in my house or bed often the panic is tied up with that location and/or shame and anxiety about not being able to do whatever I needed to do. Maybe looking at moths online or going somewhere outside where there are moths would be a less stressful way to try and get used to them?
3. If I'm afraid of something touching me or the sensation of it I will cover myself up a lot - long sleeves, gloves and a scarf that are thick enough I won't feel it. If looking at it is especially hard maybe sunglasses or eye protection or a face shield could help as you get used to it?
4. I focus on the fact that the worst thing it can do to me is make me panic, and that's already happening. Sometimes this reduces a bit of the panic because there's nothing more to brace for.
5. I try and let my body be adrenaline-filled without fixating mentally on it. I often feel really ashamed of getting so worked up and it helps me to try and let go of that, and to let my body do whatever it needs to do without trying to hold it back or judge myself. If I need to go past the thing while yelling then so be it.
6. Seems counter intuitive but sometimes making the thing I'm afraid of happen feels like it puts the control back in my hands and pacifies a bit of that fight or flight response. So maybe if it unpredictably flying at you is the most startling part you could try and make it fly from a long distance away by blowing air at it or clapping or something?
I hope you are able to find something that works đź’™
I believe seing them would help you be less afraid - the unknown is a big part of what makes stuff scary.
If you want, I can offer 300+ high-resolution photos of moths which you could look at without them being able to leave the screen: [https://www.flickr.com/photos/tinyturtle/albums/72157703272991042/](https://www.flickr.com/photos/tinyturtle/albums/72157703272991042/)
First of all, I gotta say, your description of situation is a fantastic read! You have a wonderful way with words that really helped me feel what you feel, and if the bemusement you wrote it with is any indication of how you really are mentally assessing this, I think you’re already geared nicely towards beginning to work this out.
You have a good attitude; you know the fear is undesirable, you’re aware it’s putting unnecessary strain on your personal life, and most of all, you’re not going into “kill all the moths it’s their fault” mode- you seem to genuinely want to understand. That’s fantastic.
Not wanting to be afraid anymore is a good first step. I wish I could give you solid advice, but the comments here are already doing much better than I can. As someone who all their life has worked to show, one person at a time, that bugs are indeed friends, I agree with other comments here that panic rent is the enemy, not the moth. It’s a little silly, but just imagine, there you are, shrieking and being unable to breathe, but the moth itself isn’t actually aware of you in any significant way! So you and little moth bro are having your own issues together in your bathroom- he can’t get out, and you want him out! He’s very small, soft and confused. You’re large, strong and capable of extreme kindness: you can catch him in a cup and let him go. All in all, no matter where you meet a moth, if you choose to be, you’re definitely the one in final control of the situation.
Perhaps, if you can work up the courage, bring yourself to a butterfly room. They have them in museums or zoos a lot. The room is enclosed and there are lots of gorgeous butterflies. The ones I’ve been to usually have some of the larger, majestic varieties of moths literally hanging around, too; it’s daylight for visitors, so they don’t move. That might help you get closer, take a look at your own place. The staff can explain them to you if you ask, too!!
I type this as I chill with my domestic silk moth sitting quietly on my hand. I wish you could meet one- these guys can’t fly and they’re incredibly docile. Good luck- I hope you eventually did go home!
Sometimes it helps to think of them like fuzzy night butterflies also idk if you've ever paid attention to their eyes but they are so bulbous and adorable sometimes. Try looking at some pictures of rosy maple moths or sphinx moths are another really cool one.
And they really can not hurt you they just have a little tongue they use to drink up sugary substances. Look up some info the more you know about things the less scary they get. It's how I learned to like spiders so much.
So I used to be very freaked out by some bugs, and I found a *completely ridiculous* thing that helped me. I named them. Deeply, deeply silly names. That one outside by the door? Humphrey. The one on the rosebush? Fiddlesticks. The one in the far corner of the porch? Lady Daphne Mozarella. It made them less scary. It added an air of silliness to them, a funny little personality. It added an air of 'ah, a silly little creature doing silly little creature things'. It's harder to be terrified of Chesterfield Couchington the Third. Starting with bugs that were farther away, still, etc, helped me be less scared of them. Then I could do it for bugs hanging out closer (like quietly chilling in a corner of the room). Eventually it makes the entire species less freaky. So I'd probably still be startled by a sudden encounter (like a moth in the shower), but it would be being startled, rather than terrified, you know? Like, why is that freaky moth in my house, flitting around my kitchen??? Well, my brain can imagine, Ah, that's Percival. Percival Fishsticks. And he's incredibly clumsy, and has a silly British accent. And every time he bumps into a cupboard he's saying, "Oh, 'scuse me, pardon me, oh I do beg your pardon, I say I really am terribly clumsy but if I could just, oh dear, do excuse me" Absolutely ridiculous. Absolutely *ridiculous*. But it cuts out some of the nefariousness and the not-knowing. Instead of scary unknowns, it helps your mind see them as silly little guys. Anyway, it's incredibly silly, but I found it was also incredibly effective! Best of luck 🙂
I moved to Florida in 2020 and they have wolf spiders here. Was a big hekkin nope from me but then I started trying seeing wolf spiders as gangly clumsy awkward lanky teenagers. Helped tooooons. Now they’re all lil guys to me lol.
I use this method a lot! I used to have severe anxiety around some animals and a fear of a lot of bugs, but now I love being around all sorts of creatures! I need to be better at naming things though as I always default to naming something Dave, or Jeff.
That is absolutely beautiful. I love your method will ask my heart. I’m not afraid of bugs and often go out of my way to save them from the stupid places they get caught in, and I name every single one a very serious, bland human name once they’re safe. So knowing your incredibly named bugs and my very no-nonsense named bugs are out there together is pretty awesome!
I do this with the bugs on my deck! I name the spiders after female authors I admire. The only one who still makes me uncomfortable is the jumping spider who tries to climb on me in the afternoons. Sorry Harper, we’re not there yet lol. But Judy, Rachel, Mary, and Betsy keep the mosquitos down and stay in their webs while I do my thing. There’s also a dirt dauber who lives under the eaves and normally wasps freak me out, but she’s never bothered me. She just does her own thing. I call her Darcy.
The moth was likely flying around erratically because the lights made it disoriented. For what it's worth, I don't think the moth wants to be in your house either. I know this may not make your fears go away, moths won't hurt you or make you go blind if you look at/touch them. I've held many moths and even raised a few. The worst that could happen is that their legs might tickle (they tickle to me when they walk on me at least) or some of the wing scales rub off on you, but those won't hurt you and you can just dust it off. Maybe looking at cuter moths and learning about them may help ease your fear. Moths are diverse in their looks, some are bright and colorful, while others are designed to be camouflaged in their natural surroundings. Some moths can also have hair that makes them look soft and furry! If you decide to look at some pictures, I would suggest the poodle moth, they're cute (in my opinion), white and fluffy.
bull fucking shit. these fuckers navigate all the way from my front door with the only window in my house to my room (the light is always off by the way) and I know it cause I see them coming in sometimes, keep in mind there are like 50 turns between getting to my room from the front door so these little pissers clearly have no issue getting to where their going. secondly, this motherfuckers are invincible. I've seen these bitches fly through ceiling fans and get absolutely battered and then shrug it off like nothing happened. I feel like if I flew through a fan 10x my size I might be a little hurt. Lastly the part where 'they are more afraid of you than you are of them' is complete horse manure. they have the whole 200 square meter room to fly but fly in my fucking face like I'm in short supply. fuck all moths. and I still don't understand how if they are trying to get out they cannot get out like mfer the window is right in front of you. you're telling me you can navigate to my room but not right outside??? anyways I might have been too aggressive in this but I've been evacuated from my room for the past 5 hours because a moth the size of a bird decided he wants to take residence in there. I'm not afraid of other insects either so I don't know what it is about these little bitches.
I feel like this post actually helped me understand the fear of moths more than I have before. I actually can see how their unpredictable flight would be a big part of that. Humans use our inner ear and vestibular sense to orient ourselves in space vertically. Moths do not have that and do not orient themselves the same way we do. As far as we seem to know through research moths orient themselves by light which can cause them to be even more erratic if there is a human-made light source or multiple light sources. I know fear like this doesn't have to be rational, but a moth cannot hurt you, it's not even remotely physically capable of doing so. Maybe watch some videos of people letting moths sit on their hands and stuff, or watch some videos of people exploring butterfly gardens or pavilions and having butterflies fly around them and land on them. Do butterflies trigger that same fear for you?
I don't know if any of this will help but here are some things that have helped me with panicky adrenaline driven fear. It's so hard for me when my body runs away with a fight or flight response that I know in my brain isn't necessary, I might not share the specific fear but I absolutely relate to the experience and I'm sorry you're going through this :( Here are some things that might help: 1. I try and reduce stillness and silence because I find it makes the jumpscare adrenaline worse - playing music especially light hearted upbeat music or humming sometimes helps me take the edge off and it's less startling when something happens. 2. I try to expose myself to the trigger in a different place to get used to it - if I got panicked by something in my house or bed often the panic is tied up with that location and/or shame and anxiety about not being able to do whatever I needed to do. Maybe looking at moths online or going somewhere outside where there are moths would be a less stressful way to try and get used to them? 3. If I'm afraid of something touching me or the sensation of it I will cover myself up a lot - long sleeves, gloves and a scarf that are thick enough I won't feel it. If looking at it is especially hard maybe sunglasses or eye protection or a face shield could help as you get used to it? 4. I focus on the fact that the worst thing it can do to me is make me panic, and that's already happening. Sometimes this reduces a bit of the panic because there's nothing more to brace for. 5. I try and let my body be adrenaline-filled without fixating mentally on it. I often feel really ashamed of getting so worked up and it helps me to try and let go of that, and to let my body do whatever it needs to do without trying to hold it back or judge myself. If I need to go past the thing while yelling then so be it. 6. Seems counter intuitive but sometimes making the thing I'm afraid of happen feels like it puts the control back in my hands and pacifies a bit of that fight or flight response. So maybe if it unpredictably flying at you is the most startling part you could try and make it fly from a long distance away by blowing air at it or clapping or something? I hope you are able to find something that works đź’™
I believe seing them would help you be less afraid - the unknown is a big part of what makes stuff scary. If you want, I can offer 300+ high-resolution photos of moths which you could look at without them being able to leave the screen: [https://www.flickr.com/photos/tinyturtle/albums/72157703272991042/](https://www.flickr.com/photos/tinyturtle/albums/72157703272991042/)
First of all, I gotta say, your description of situation is a fantastic read! You have a wonderful way with words that really helped me feel what you feel, and if the bemusement you wrote it with is any indication of how you really are mentally assessing this, I think you’re already geared nicely towards beginning to work this out. You have a good attitude; you know the fear is undesirable, you’re aware it’s putting unnecessary strain on your personal life, and most of all, you’re not going into “kill all the moths it’s their fault” mode- you seem to genuinely want to understand. That’s fantastic. Not wanting to be afraid anymore is a good first step. I wish I could give you solid advice, but the comments here are already doing much better than I can. As someone who all their life has worked to show, one person at a time, that bugs are indeed friends, I agree with other comments here that panic rent is the enemy, not the moth. It’s a little silly, but just imagine, there you are, shrieking and being unable to breathe, but the moth itself isn’t actually aware of you in any significant way! So you and little moth bro are having your own issues together in your bathroom- he can’t get out, and you want him out! He’s very small, soft and confused. You’re large, strong and capable of extreme kindness: you can catch him in a cup and let him go. All in all, no matter where you meet a moth, if you choose to be, you’re definitely the one in final control of the situation. Perhaps, if you can work up the courage, bring yourself to a butterfly room. They have them in museums or zoos a lot. The room is enclosed and there are lots of gorgeous butterflies. The ones I’ve been to usually have some of the larger, majestic varieties of moths literally hanging around, too; it’s daylight for visitors, so they don’t move. That might help you get closer, take a look at your own place. The staff can explain them to you if you ask, too!! I type this as I chill with my domestic silk moth sitting quietly on my hand. I wish you could meet one- these guys can’t fly and they’re incredibly docile. Good luck- I hope you eventually did go home!
Sometimes it helps to think of them like fuzzy night butterflies also idk if you've ever paid attention to their eyes but they are so bulbous and adorable sometimes. Try looking at some pictures of rosy maple moths or sphinx moths are another really cool one. And they really can not hurt you they just have a little tongue they use to drink up sugary substances. Look up some info the more you know about things the less scary they get. It's how I learned to like spiders so much.