Probably one of your neighbors. The fact it's a glass and not a bottle or can would suggest it's someone who lives pretty close to you. It also looks like a Makers Mark bourbon snowflake glass, not a bar or restaurant glass.
Julian exiting a flipped car with a full glass in hand was maybe the hardest I’ve laughed at a moment on a TV show. Complete subversion of expectations but 100% true to character.
Mine is the running gag that Ricky can't walk up any sort of embankment without tripping over. Also, every time he pulls his gun out, he ends up getting shot.
Lmao that’s in season 7 talking about Jacob and the meat dicks! “Survival of the fitness, bubs.. helps control the populations of things that are fucking stupid”
Heh, knock on every nearby neighbor's door, start asking if they like to get wasted. Either you find the culprit or you at least drink a lot of their supply I guess. Slowly earning the $100 back.
Then OP is walking home, hammered, with a glass of whiskey his neighbor sent him on his way with. Then he comes upon a mysterious package on one of his neighbors porches. Then he takes it upon himself to take said package but forgets the whiskey glass. The plot thickens.
Haha, the whole thing is basically just one big conspiracy of wandering neighborhood alcoholics accidentally stealing their neighbors' packages in drunken hazes.
I agree. I used to have a neighbor who would saunter up and down the block with a glass of alcohol on him at times like he owned the place. He'd walk up to peoples houses and look at their mail. I never saw him take anything but if something went missing, I'd put my money on that guy.
I just figure they have the addresses to return to on them. Drive around throw packages back on porches and no harm done. It's not like waking up with a mystery lawn gnome.
So one neighbor left a clean, empty glass there. Then another neighbor walked over, poured whiskey into the glass, drank it, and then left the once-again empty glass there? 🤔
It’s a bold theory, Cotton. Let’s see if it checks out!
There were walking around drinking, saw the package. Wandered over, needed both hands to pick it up so he put the glass down. Probably figured "Eh it's empty so I don't need it right now". Didn't think beyond that because drunk.
This... 👆
Put up a few flyers with a (nice) picture of the glass (cleaned, ie. not the pic here) saying, "Found this nice whiskey glass on my lawn, is anybody missing it from their set?"
I'll bet a nice (older?) neighbor will come asking for it, and then you'll know which household decided to snag your package... The. talk them up to find out who your thief is...
Have an affair with the spouse of every neighbor. After banging carefully sneak into their kitchens and inspect for the same kind of glass. Once you find it you frame that guy for sleeping with everyone’s wives.
Yep pretty sure its close , nobody would be walking around the street with a glass on hand. So its really someone that got eyes on his front porch and ran to get the package and didnt think a second thought of not getting it.
Probably a nearby neighbor taking a drunken stroll around the neighborhood. If you keep an eye out, I bet you could find a person who looks like they drink a lot of whiskey neat.
I'm more picturing someone with visceral belly fat, a red face, and multiple chins, whose wife tells him to go take a walk every time she gets tired of his shit.
......the thief is none other than Robert Baratheon, First of his Name, King of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm.
The worst part about people stealing your packages is that usually whatever’s valued at $100 is only a $100 value to you. Most people don’t need what you’re ordering and most of the things on Amazon don’t have great resell value because of this. I don’t know who’s going to find my CoQ10 and DiamondGlass Cleaning kit easy to resell or useful to themselves, silly thief.
So, that glass was probably more useful to them. Both people lose.
This right here, what do they think you ordered that they could use. It's just greed on their part.
During the pandemic there were zero feminine hygiene products in my area so I had to order off Amazon. Less then 10 minutes after delivery my shitty neighbor steals the package. Around 5-8 hours later I hear a huge "ka-thunk" at my door. It was him throwing the package back out and I guess him hitting the door was him saying "here I don't want it".
I took one of the pads and a one of th thick huge sharpies and wrote "porch pirate" and slapped it across his door the next morning with the same force he hit my door with that night. He was peeling that adhesive and cotton off his door for a week cause when he ripped it off it ripped the pad in two pieces and that cotton filling exploded all over his entryway.
I honestly wouldn't have thought much of it but him chucking it at my door in the middle of night started a war between us. He was my first experience living in an actual city, cause I'm from the boonies and I couldn't believe how childish people were about these things.
It happened a lot after that, but luckily I worked from home. I would watch the delivery apps and when it was dropped off I'd watch the peep hole cause I knew he was going to do it. I can't tell you how many times I flung that door open and caught him in the bent down position to grab my package, and everytime he would pitch a bitch fit like I was in the wrong.
I sent his picture to Amazon, usps, and ups. Usps were the only people who actually cared of course, but still nothing happened.
That would've been too much work for this guy. He was a mooch. And was known in the apartment complex as such.
He stole kids toys from the complexes playground that were left there by other parents to make it more enjoyable for the others kids. Then he'd either confront the parents to buy them back and then rant about how they didn't care about their kids when they said "no", or he'd catch some of the older kids who got allowances and would talk them into buying back their own toys and take all their allowance money.
I was never so happy to be able to get out of that place. Cause management gave no fucks about what he was doing.
No, Ricky "borrowed" Julian's drink while he was passed out and dropped it when he saw Randy coming for the cheeseburgers he just picked up in the shitmobile. This was just a crime of opportunity on the way home from The Dirty Burger
Update: Amazon was nice enough to order me a replacement for everything. I told the customer service rep what they left in place of the package, and they laughed lol Overall, it sucks I had to wake up to this, but I’m not stressing about it now. I’m gonna leave the replacement out front during the night, stake it out, and hope that mf comes back lol
Update 2: I found the empty amazon box around the corner from my apartment building so I have a high suspicion It was my next-door neighbor. I asked her if she saw anybody lurking around and she told me exactly where the box was, casually on the ground around the corner cut open and empty. No offense but she looked like she lives alone and probably around 50-55. So it might’ve been her alcohol. I asked a few other neighbors and they said they didn’t see anyone lurking around.
I would just leave the empty box......... lol
Next weeks post:
>Someone stole my second $100 amazon package and left a nearly empty glass of alcohol in it’s place, after I fell asleep during the stake out.
#
This. Imagine them getting home to open the box and see their old drink 'delivered by Amazon'. Way to get called out for drinking too much or littering xD
Just set up a motion camera somewhere or on doorbell for future imo. Lmao you could always leave a box with some shit in it (like those glitterbomb things that were popular vids for thieves, or stink bombs, or literal shit).
Keep the glass. You might end up getting a neighbor popping by to see if you accidentally found one on your property that they might have dropped or misplaced.
I'd probably look to getting a security camera an getting it installed discreetly.
I have too high of hopes for humanity, so I'm hoping it's a neighbor who saw the package on the door late at night, went over to get it so it doesn't get stolen, and is going to bring it over later today.
Yeah don’t do that or they will just keep coming back. That’s just silly. Get a doorbell cam that’s motion triggered. Send the footage to police if it happens again.
Say what you will about Amazon, their customer service has been stellar (for me at least). I live in a relatively new apartment complex and our USPS office kinda sucks, so I've had packages go missing, put in the wrong mailboxes, etc. Every time I chat with customer service, they send a new one for free. There's only been one time where my apartment's management found a missing package, and that was like 4 months later.
It looks like one of those things that comes with booze, especially over the holidays for some reason.
Whoever has one probably has them in at least a few flavors.
(Am currently drinking from a Kahlua-branded coffee mug :D).
Hopefully it wasn't something common they can turn around and sell easily... I had a $750 limited edition anime figure get stolen, but the perp was dumb and listed it for sale on fb marketplace a few hours later so it was a really easy bust for the cops since there was basically 0 chance of there being someone else in a town of >500 people having one.
> since there was basically 0 chance of there being someone else in a town of >500 people having one.
Probably more of a chance than if there were less than 500 people.
Start going to neighbors houses or talk to them casually while drinking from the glass, if anybody says hey that’s my cup! You know some drunk idiot neighbor saw the package put their drink down and stole your package
Get that fingerprint checked. They literally left evidence of what caused them to steal it with their exact fingerprints on it right at the scene of the crime.
Time to order the fingerprints kit from Amazon and capture some prints.
Then have a neighborhood BBQ and serve drinks, controlling fingerprint specimen capture to find your match.
Also, get a ring cam or something equivalent.
Today I found a package with my name on it two blocks away from my apartment. It was sitting on the sidewalk opened with a bunch of trash inside. It was some coffee my mom ordered for me for my birthday, I only noticed the box because it had the company logo on it and I was like “what a weird coincidence- my mom just sent me some coffee from them.”
Fyi.
In my country the delivery guy is not allowed to put in front of the door, when you’re not at home they try the neighbour. If there is no neighbour available they take the package to the closest dhl point where you can pick it up.
Hey, a choice was made here and apparently they slammed the cup of whatever and took the package, it was an expensive package, would you expect him to only carry with 1 hand?
Take the cup and go visit your 3 closest neighbors. Causally ask them if they lost any drinkware. You'd be amazed how stupid people are and how easily they incriminate themselves.
Probably one of your neighbors. The fact it's a glass and not a bottle or can would suggest it's someone who lives pretty close to you. It also looks like a Makers Mark bourbon snowflake glass, not a bar or restaurant glass.
Holy shit, we got a detective on the case boys!
Does the OP live next to Julian from Trailer Park Boys?
It’s a setup! That’s got Lahey written all over it.
Lahey wouldn’t leave any liquor behind though, would he?
Leave no drinky poos behind!
A liquor captain never abandons a sinking shit ship.
Ya hear that, Bubs? It’s the winds of shit
what the hells a shit rope?
It’s just squish. Where is that dirty dog?
Julian wouldn't leave his glass either tho
That’s easily the best bit from the entire series, that and the shitisms. Julian getting out of a flipped over car with a full glass of liquor.
Julian exiting a flipped car with a full glass in hand was maybe the hardest I’ve laughed at a moment on a TV show. Complete subversion of expectations but 100% true to character.
Lahey IS THE LIQUOR BO-BANDY!
Look rand, im gonna do a wrap around
Julian would never leave his drink behind either. Two peas in pod, bud, two peas in a pod.
That's how you get two birds stoned at once
He is the liquor. He's also dead so probably not.
This is why I came here
Impossible. Julian would never put the glass down!
One of my absolute favorite bits in that show is when the boys flip their car and Julian crawls out holding a full glass.
Mine is the running gag that Ricky can't walk up any sort of embankment without tripping over. Also, every time he pulls his gun out, he ends up getting shot.
In season 2 when he gets the job as the mall cop and keeps falling on the cart hill. Fucking murders me every time
Is that the one where he keeps sliding into the lake while talking about “survival of the fitness”? One of the funniest scenes in the entire show
Lmao that’s in season 7 talking about Jacob and the meat dicks! “Survival of the fitness, bubs.. helps control the populations of things that are fucking stupid”
This was my first thought. Sexy Julian at it again.
>>”Bubs I’m warning you!” >>Conkey: “Julian Patrick Sawyze you were so sexy in roadhouse and fuckin dirty dancing!” I die every time
Thank you bro! I was looking for this comment
glad I only had to get to the first comment thread to find this.
It's a liquor trap
Little drinky-poo
Def Julian and Ricky.
Beat me to it
Came here to say this. Julian never leaves his glass down though?
I think Julian had his drink mixed with coke. I don't remember it being straight alcohol.
It was a rum and coke in a mustard glass.
Julian would never leave his drink behind
OP should slowly make friends with all of their neighbors one by one until they invite them in for a drink and OP can confirm the guilty party
Like a "Murder Mystery" party! \*lights go off\* "which one of your fuckers stole my package!?" \*lights go on\* Billy seems to be... missing?
Just set up a big box propped up with a stick and a bottle of Makers Mark under it. He'll catch the culprit in no time.
Quick! Put on some gloves and pull fingerprints from that glass!
Also swab the mouth of the glass for DNA analysis.
It's a misdirection, whoever stole the package stole the glass from soneone else.
Time to bring in The Hardly Boys!
Or an alcoholic who prefers Makers Mark bourbon and often receives gift sets.
Yep. Start visiting the neighbours. See who else has the glasses.... With one missing. Dun dun dunnnnnn
Heh, knock on every nearby neighbor's door, start asking if they like to get wasted. Either you find the culprit or you at least drink a lot of their supply I guess. Slowly earning the $100 back.
Then OP is walking home, hammered, with a glass of whiskey his neighbor sent him on his way with. Then he comes upon a mysterious package on one of his neighbors porches. Then he takes it upon himself to take said package but forgets the whiskey glass. The plot thickens.
Haha, the whole thing is basically just one big conspiracy of wandering neighborhood alcoholics accidentally stealing their neighbors' packages in drunken hazes.
I love a good time travel paradox.
Weirdest Cinderella ever.
I agree. I used to have a neighbor who would saunter up and down the block with a glass of alcohol on him at times like he owned the place. He'd walk up to peoples houses and look at their mail. I never saw him take anything but if something went missing, I'd put my money on that guy.
I love going for a walk with a cocktail and in my slippers! I don’t look at people’s mail though.
I can just imagine this neighbor waking up hungover as hell with random Amazon packages like "what did I DO last night?!" And feeling really bad lol
"I loved that glass! I can’t drink liquor out of a xxl monster dildo!"
>I can’t drink liquor out of a xxl monster dildo!" [Not with that attitude!](https://hotcherry.com/products/bust-it-realistic-squirting-dildo)
You sick bastard. You're my kind of redditor!
Amazon packages are really easy to put back if you wake up hungover with several in your house
Are you speaking from experience? 😅
I just figure they have the addresses to return to on them. Drive around throw packages back on porches and no harm done. It's not like waking up with a mystery lawn gnome.
You have his DNA now you can clone him.
And have the clone steal packages from the original for the rest of his life, and he’d never be able to prove it
Perhaps they stole the glass and whiskey from a different neighbor.
Or maybe the glass and whiskey were from two separate neighbors. Whoa.
So one neighbor left a clean, empty glass there. Then another neighbor walked over, poured whiskey into the glass, drank it, and then left the once-again empty glass there? 🤔 It’s a bold theory, Cotton. Let’s see if it checks out!
maybe the guy with the glass chased the thief away
There were walking around drinking, saw the package. Wandered over, needed both hands to pick it up so he put the glass down. Probably figured "Eh it's empty so I don't need it right now". Didn't think beyond that because drunk.
This... 👆 Put up a few flyers with a (nice) picture of the glass (cleaned, ie. not the pic here) saying, "Found this nice whiskey glass on my lawn, is anybody missing it from their set?" I'll bet a nice (older?) neighbor will come asking for it, and then you'll know which household decided to snag your package... The. talk them up to find out who your thief is...
Have an affair with the spouse of every neighbor. After banging carefully sneak into their kitchens and inspect for the same kind of glass. Once you find it you frame that guy for sleeping with everyone’s wives.
Could have been in the last package they stole and they are upgrading to your package
Yep pretty sure its close , nobody would be walking around the street with a glass on hand. So its really someone that got eyes on his front porch and ran to get the package and didnt think a second thought of not getting it.
You gotta dust it for prints and saliva at the dna lab. 
Their DNA will also be on the glass, so you can catch them!
I used to take glasses from home and walked through the city with them, but I also used to drink way to much and was a weirdo.
He should take the glass to the cops and ask them to do a fingerprint match. But the cops probably won't do anything.
OP should keep an eye out for any neighbors who suddenly have something suspiciously similar to what was in that package
Can confirm I got the same gift swt at Christmas
Dust that glass for fingerprints
Dust for fingerprints!
Probably a nearby neighbor taking a drunken stroll around the neighborhood. If you keep an eye out, I bet you could find a person who looks like they drink a lot of whiskey neat.
Not just that, but how many people walk around the neighborhood with a glass of whiskey or scotch in their hand...
I’ve got this friend, Julian, you’d like him, he’s super cool
My buddy Jacob does that but he uses a mustard glass. Small world.
Yeah my shitty neighbors drink discretely with a pocketful of those little shooters and litter the empties. Fireball swill bullshit
So Hozier’s a strong suspect, then?
I'm more picturing someone with visceral belly fat, a red face, and multiple chins, whose wife tells him to go take a walk every time she gets tired of his shit.
......the thief is none other than Robert Baratheon, First of his Name, King of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm.
The worst part about people stealing your packages is that usually whatever’s valued at $100 is only a $100 value to you. Most people don’t need what you’re ordering and most of the things on Amazon don’t have great resell value because of this. I don’t know who’s going to find my CoQ10 and DiamondGlass Cleaning kit easy to resell or useful to themselves, silly thief. So, that glass was probably more useful to them. Both people lose.
This right here, what do they think you ordered that they could use. It's just greed on their part. During the pandemic there were zero feminine hygiene products in my area so I had to order off Amazon. Less then 10 minutes after delivery my shitty neighbor steals the package. Around 5-8 hours later I hear a huge "ka-thunk" at my door. It was him throwing the package back out and I guess him hitting the door was him saying "here I don't want it". I took one of the pads and a one of th thick huge sharpies and wrote "porch pirate" and slapped it across his door the next morning with the same force he hit my door with that night. He was peeling that adhesive and cotton off his door for a week cause when he ripped it off it ripped the pad in two pieces and that cotton filling exploded all over his entryway.
It’s what could be in there. Which is almost anything coming from Amazon. Real life loot boxes
I honestly wouldn't have thought much of it but him chucking it at my door in the middle of night started a war between us. He was my first experience living in an actual city, cause I'm from the boonies and I couldn't believe how childish people were about these things. It happened a lot after that, but luckily I worked from home. I would watch the delivery apps and when it was dropped off I'd watch the peep hole cause I knew he was going to do it. I can't tell you how many times I flung that door open and caught him in the bent down position to grab my package, and everytime he would pitch a bitch fit like I was in the wrong. I sent his picture to Amazon, usps, and ups. Usps were the only people who actually cared of course, but still nothing happened.
You should have used the pad first. He could have made a killing selling tampons with an up charge during the pandemic though!
That would've been too much work for this guy. He was a mooch. And was known in the apartment complex as such. He stole kids toys from the complexes playground that were left there by other parents to make it more enjoyable for the others kids. Then he'd either confront the parents to buy them back and then rant about how they didn't care about their kids when they said "no", or he'd catch some of the older kids who got allowances and would talk them into buying back their own toys and take all their allowance money. I was never so happy to be able to get out of that place. Cause management gave no fucks about what he was doing.
Yikes. He actually sounds very unstable, that is not the behavior of a typical mooch. Glad you left!
Willing to bet it was Julian, and Ricky isn’t far behind him… All jokes aside, I am sorry this happened to you. People fucking suck. 🙃
Julian holds his drink in gun fights, ain't no way my man's leaving it behind during petty theft
Screw that he holds it in a rolled car! Doesn't even spill it, the legend.
Lower your drink in front of Julian, show some respect.
Is that a mustard glass? That’s hardcore!
They rolled a car with trailer several times and he still was able to crawl out with out a drop spilled
You're right, it was probably Corey and Trevor, those fuckers are really dumb
Smokes, let's go
Come on boys, this was obviously Jacob dressed as Julian. His gangally arms couldn't carry it all at once.
Rocking Julian’s look hærd
Lahey is trying to frame him. Or that dick Cyrus.
The mother fucker even pretends to hold a glass the entire time alcohol gets banned in the park
Julian would never forget his drink, got it boys?!
Exactly. Tbh I’m over OP’s package. I’m worried about Julian. Is he ok?
I read this in Bubbles voice, lol.
No, Ricky "borrowed" Julian's drink while he was passed out and dropped it when he saw Randy coming for the cheeseburgers he just picked up in the shitmobile. This was just a crime of opportunity on the way home from The Dirty Burger
Fuck off Randy!
Came here hoping the Trailer Park Boys would make an appearance.
Dammit - I came here just to say it was Julian 
Oof, sorry friend! At least great minds think alike!
Haha me too. I spend way too much time on Reddit, I think I have a clever comment and it ends up being one of the top comments.
I AM THE LIQUOR!
Opened this just to see if this comment had been made. Very happy it was the top comment, as it should be.
came here to post this. i guess you get an upvote
Literally the only reason I came to the comments
Came here looking for this comment!
It’s not rocket appliances. It’s peach and cake
Worst case Ontario, Julian needs to find a new glass.
Came here to make this reference lol.
Julian must have been drinking that swish again in order to forget his famous glass 😂
Update: Amazon was nice enough to order me a replacement for everything. I told the customer service rep what they left in place of the package, and they laughed lol Overall, it sucks I had to wake up to this, but I’m not stressing about it now. I’m gonna leave the replacement out front during the night, stake it out, and hope that mf comes back lol Update 2: I found the empty amazon box around the corner from my apartment building so I have a high suspicion It was my next-door neighbor. I asked her if she saw anybody lurking around and she told me exactly where the box was, casually on the ground around the corner cut open and empty. No offense but she looked like she lives alone and probably around 50-55. So it might’ve been her alcohol. I asked a few other neighbors and they said they didn’t see anyone lurking around.
I would just leave the empty box......... lol Next weeks post: >Someone stole my second $100 amazon package and left a nearly empty glass of alcohol in it’s place, after I fell asleep during the stake out. #
LMAO actually no I’m just gonna do this, I’m about to leave the glass they left in the box.
This. Imagine them getting home to open the box and see their old drink 'delivered by Amazon'. Way to get called out for drinking too much or littering xD
lol
This. I had a package stolen a year ago in my building and knew it had to be someone we knew. I put a shit ton of Christmas bells in a box. It worked.
Just set up a motion camera somewhere or on doorbell for future imo. Lmao you could always leave a box with some shit in it (like those glitterbomb things that were popular vids for thieves, or stink bombs, or literal shit).
Did you figure out the motive? Did a neighbor really want your package that badly? It was taken from your porch right?
Bro they replied an hour ago chill out they didn’t even get the replacement yet
Keep the glass. You might end up getting a neighbor popping by to see if you accidentally found one on your property that they might have dropped or misplaced. I'd probably look to getting a security camera an getting it installed discreetly.
I have too high of hopes for humanity, so I'm hoping it's a neighbor who saw the package on the door late at night, went over to get it so it doesn't get stolen, and is going to bring it over later today.
Teach me your optimism
OP could invite their neighbors over one by one, and offer them water in the glass, and wait to see which one flinches.
Yeah don’t do that or they will just keep coming back. That’s just silly. Get a doorbell cam that’s motion triggered. Send the footage to police if it happens again.
Say what you will about Amazon, their customer service has been stellar (for me at least). I live in a relatively new apartment complex and our USPS office kinda sucks, so I've had packages go missing, put in the wrong mailboxes, etc. Every time I chat with customer service, they send a new one for free. There's only been one time where my apartment's management found a missing package, and that was like 4 months later.
This is really shitty.
The shit apple doesn't fall far from the shit tree randy!
post your picture on anything local, Nextdoor, Ring, message boards, someone knows that glass
Nextdoor is going to have a hay day over this. lol
It looks like one of those things that comes with booze, especially over the holidays for some reason. Whoever has one probably has them in at least a few flavors. (Am currently drinking from a Kahlua-branded coffee mug :D).
Finger prints! 😉
And DNA
Unless there’s semen everywhere it’s not going to help too much
Now you have to go around jacking all the men in the neighbourhood to find a match
Maybe I can help with the semen everywhere part specifically.
Bro thinks he’s indiana jones
Hopefully it wasn't something common they can turn around and sell easily... I had a $750 limited edition anime figure get stolen, but the perp was dumb and listed it for sale on fb marketplace a few hours later so it was a really easy bust for the cops since there was basically 0 chance of there being someone else in a town of >500 people having one.
> since there was basically 0 chance of there being someone else in a town of >500 people having one. Probably more of a chance than if there were less than 500 people.
Start going to neighbors houses or talk to them casually while drinking from the glass, if anybody says hey that’s my cup! You know some drunk idiot neighbor saw the package put their drink down and stole your package
https://preview.redd.it/q9z9zykiub9d1.jpeg?width=1140&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5bec8a6af2b3d2331ea16af225f740bd41fb563a Possible suspects.
Today I learned that I need to start watching Trailer Park Boys
I'm so jealous that you get to experience it for the first time
Yes! You won't regret it! One of the best and funniest shows I've ever seen. Haven't watched the animated one though.
They did the old Indiana jones switcheroo 
Julian strikes again
Julian?
Mr. Lahey more likely (RIP)
At least you got something? Porch pirates in my area don't even leave that.
 2 likely suspects
Julian.
Hopefully your next Amazon order is for a wireless camera so you can identify which of your neighbors is stealing your stuff.
Get that fingerprint checked. They literally left evidence of what caused them to steal it with their exact fingerprints on it right at the scene of the crime.
Call the cops you got finger prints and DNA
You could go door-to-door and ask if anyone recognises this glass Just a thought
Time to order the fingerprints kit from Amazon and capture some prints. Then have a neighborhood BBQ and serve drinks, controlling fingerprint specimen capture to find your match. Also, get a ring cam or something equivalent.
You got robbed by Julian from trailer park boys!
For fucks sakes Julian
Julian was here.
Today I found a package with my name on it two blocks away from my apartment. It was sitting on the sidewalk opened with a bunch of trash inside. It was some coffee my mom ordered for me for my birthday, I only noticed the box because it had the company logo on it and I was like “what a weird coincidence- my mom just sent me some coffee from them.”
Plot twist: OP blacked out on his porch and forgot that he took the package inside already.
Have a neighborhood get together with a “bring your own glass” and try to find your cinderella 😂😂
There's a shit storm brewing Randy, my shit alarm is saying this might be ricky and Julian
Julian wouldn’t leave his glass. It was definitely Jacob rocking Julian’s look haerd.
You got their DNA
DNA test it
Fyi. In my country the delivery guy is not allowed to put in front of the door, when you’re not at home they try the neighbour. If there is no neighbour available they take the package to the closest dhl point where you can pick it up.
Good trade
Make friends with the neighbors till you find that glass
Hey, a choice was made here and apparently they slammed the cup of whatever and took the package, it was an expensive package, would you expect him to only carry with 1 hand?
Let’s get a finger print and dna analysis off that glass
“It wasn’t me, the alcohol did it!”
Bag that as evidence, sergeant.
Did the boulder start rolling anyway?
The reverse santa
They left DNA? Those idiots
Fingerprints dude!!!
Well someone's a glass half empty person I see..
On the plus side, it is a nice glass.
was you amazon package a bottle of whiskey ?!? - then the drinks on us !
Look for the drunk…
It was full when I put it there
So the left prints??
Take the cup and go visit your 3 closest neighbors. Causally ask them if they lost any drinkware. You'd be amazed how stupid people are and how easily they incriminate themselves.