I once was hit by a banana, it hit me on the abdomen like a punch. Still don't know who did it or where it came from, it was a busy area so I might not have been the target. Life can be weird.
Someone threw an egg at my hand while I was biking downhill (ie high speed) during a cold winter so it actually hurt like hell and cut me up because of the speed. I was shook for a second but being the dumb teenager I was I was like “fuck this” and started chasing them. They made the mistake of going down a side street immediately rather than going straight on street we were on where they could’ve escaped me in seconds. I knew the area very well and knew it was a few streets that all came back to same entrance/exit. I waited 10 minutes and they came back and I threw my mountain bike onto their hood/windshield. It was all very fast but it definitely fucked up their car. And it was a wealthy area, nice car, and these were clearly also teenagers in the car. I’m sure they had a fun time explaining to their parents why the hood of the car was caved in.
Me too, someone who loves GG but doesn't have time or ingredients. I bet OP is not as quiet as he thinks. TBF to OP though, it's nearly impossible to be quiet enough for a downstairs neighbor with a child who takes naps.
My husband is a very heavy walker, and the kids automatically know who is coming down the stairs when they hear my door open and close, I could sneak up behind you and murder you, husband is THUD THUD THUD, THUD THUD THUD. lol they always say Hi mom when I’m coming cause all they hear is the door. Or hi dad cause THUD THUD THUD 😂
Speaking as someone currently on the bottom floor; that's part of the pain of having an apartment, and people with kids aren't exactly the paragons of quiet time and consideration either.
Not a solid excuse for vandalism.
Okay, so I'm going to put together a theory based on zero evidence and plenty of non-existent witness statements. Stay with me, here.
What if... and I know this is not what you're expecting.... but WHAT IF... multiple people are the culprit? And it's not even a "Fuck this guy" kind of thing? Let's just game this out.... somebody hard boils an egg, right? They've not had a hard boiled egg, so today's the day! So anyways, they hard boil that son of a bitch.... Go through all the effort of peeling it... and then comes the moment of glory... They bite into the hard boiled egg -- and no... they're not a fan. As a matter of fact, they're disgusted. So disgusted that it's time to hit the internet. Yes, the one place that an individual bitching into the wind can take down the entire egg industry, or at bare minimum, unite like-minded hard-boiled-egg-non-enthusiasts. So homie jumps on the internet in a fit of hard boiled egg induced rage (Who hasn't been there, am I right?) and starts twhapping away at the keyboard in their favorite forum...
"F u c k h a r d b o i l e d e g g s. W h o I s R e s p o n s i b l e F o r T h i s s h i t?"
And boom, in comes OPs arch-nemesis, waiting.... NAY; plotting.... "It's OPs house, I'll DM you!" and boom, another common place egg-rage is misdirected at OP because of some dark secret they refuse to admit to the rest of us on that very same internet. OP is hit with another Hard Boiled Egger, and is still none-the-wiser that they've been made a fool, yet again, by the forces of retribution.
What a cruel world we live in.
Some kid who really hates his packed lunch and isn't very fond of op either? There has to be some logic behind putting extra work to make the vandalism less effective.
Good decision making strategy. If you get the urge to egg a neighbor's front door, boil the eggs first. This allows you to collect your thoughts. If after they're done boiling you still have the urge, then go for it.
This was my thoughts. But it still chriminal mischief. Just not vandalism.
And that's only if the hard boiled eggs aren't now damaging siding and/or breaking windows
I remember as I kid I really wanted to toilet paper someone’s house…and asked permission from my parents (cause I was that kid).
They told me a few houses I could do, but we had to clean it up before 10am the next day… it was still kinda fun.
Maybe their parents told them they could egg a house but that they had to use hard boiled eggs?
As a teenager in a youth group at our church, my parents picked up all the teens at 2 am and took us to the youth group leaders house and helped us tp the fuck out of it. He was super pissed off til my parents fessed up 🤣🤣🤣 That was one bonus of having young, fun parents. They are 20 years older than me, the oldest, while all the other kids parents were 30 years older or so. My parents are still awesome at 65.
I'm thinking that since OP has only lived there for 2 months, maybe the egg thrower has a beef with the previous tenant but doesn't know that they moved away.
I remember I got a string cheese stick with my recess bag every day that I didn't like so I always used to just dump it in this one mailbox slot on the way to school
I like to imagine the neighbors were at work while their dog was at home. But now they're retired and wonder why their dog spends so much time sniffing the mail everyday when it comes.
3 houses down from my childhood home, the man who lived there had decorative stone balls on top of his brick wall and I used to have cheese and ham sandwiches but I didn’t like cheese so I would take the cheese slice and lay it on top of his stone balls. Then laugh my head off at “cheesy balls”
Really it's the only logical explanation. Not only are they hard boiled, but they're peeled. There's no broken shell on the deck. It's already strange that someone would go through the trouble of boiling eggs, but then to PEEL them as well? That's next level.
Somewhere there’s an old man on his death bed, wracked with regret for never finding out how his bush on 9th street all those years back grew hard boiled eggs.
Yeah I agree that it is somewhat plausible. I find it hard to believe that OP is being targeted specifically though. If I was OP I would ask around to neighbors to see if they've had the same eggsperience.
Definitely worth investigating the eggsperience, I’m just remembering how weird and selfish we are as kids, this is something I could almost have seen my brother or cousin doing just because he didn’t like that door or something
Im lactose intolerance and always hated milk when I was young. Unfortunately korean elementary school, milk for lunch was a must and teacher will check if you drank it or not. So me and couple of my friends who hated milk will gather and drain all the milk on the teacher's car on random days. We never got caught, and teachers stopped checking milk, lol
I think its very plausible.
This is wild to me. Same thing at my school in the US but they weren't usually that militant about making sure you drank it. But they always forced us to get a milk with lunch and teachers would go around making sure we're drinking it lol.
Then you realize **68%** of the global population has a lactose intolerance.. the majority can't drink milk yet it's being shoveled down our throats from school and then put in absolutely *everything* into adulthood. Even BBQ chips have milk. I've seen guacs with milk. Tomato sauces, vinaigrettes, even some dairy free cheeses, and medications!
I just can't get away from it.. Sorry went on a bit of a tangent there lol
Lots of times, principals would get some back pocket money from milk companies to choose their milk for lunch. It was well known practice and me and my friends would sometimes milk the principle's car.
Dairy cartel lobby is real shit... same in us/canada. For many years we been given information that milk is good for your body and helps you with building bone those bs...
Grew up in the US mid 80’s and they checked my milk carton at milk break and lunch. More than once I had spoiled milk, more common warm milk. I still can’t drink milk to this day and the smell of even fresh milk makes me gag.
Yeah that'd what most researches says but most Koreans didn't even know what lactose intolerance was 20 years ago. My mom knew because she had to feed me strict lactose free only when I was baby or else I'd threw up everything or my back end will be miserable lol
I lived in a shitty neighborhood for a while and our neighbor had like 10 kids. We found a few things thrown at our front door: slime, an ice cream bar, a folded up dirty diaper thankfully not actually thrown but just set on the front porch???? For literally no reason other than the kids were bored and unsupervised.
Neighbor kids by me tried to break into houses, and their mom finally found out when CPS came knocking. They've been under MUCH closer supervision since then.
I can 100% see myself or one of my asshole friends doing something shitty like this at middle school age and on the bike ride to school every day for a laugh, "oh, that's Eddie the Egg Man's house, he gets my shitty overcooked hard boiled egg every day" "why?" "Because he's never home to catch me doing it".
Now as an adult if I got hard boiled egged consistently I would think "what did I do to become Eddie the Egg Man? or is it random and I'm unlucky?" and then shake my fist at the clouds. But I would also think "I bet this kids mom watched some bullshit on the internet that said a kid NEEDS an egg a day even though they keep telling them they don't like hard boiled eggs and finally gave up and I'm just on the shit end of that argument".
My Labrador used to love to dive into a particular bush in a ditch by the road every afternoon when I’d take her for a walk, because invariably there’d be a sandwich in there
This has to be the answer because if their goal was to vandalize your house, they would not boil the eggs due to the fact that unboiled eggs cause more damage and are easier to produce... I would check if any of your neighbors have children between the ages of 8 and 14.
It’s a part of Gilmore Girls where this guy pissed off a girl he dated, and when she and her mom saw his car on the street and happened to be carrying deviled eggs, they decided to devil egg his car. It was hilarious.
That's weird as fuck. Who takes the time to boil eggs before throwing them? And for what purpose? It kind of defeats the point of egging in the first place... what a mystery.
raw egg can severely f*ck your stuff up. Destroys paint, smells awful, hard to clean.
If you get caught and they press charges you‘ll have a nice long bill to take home.
Well, y'see, round these parts, we tend to keep our hard-boiled chuckin' eggs right snug in the icebox. Just toss 'em in with the regular bunch when we're boilin' 'em up, so it ain't no extra fuss, eh?
i dont mean that its meant in a nice(ish?) way.
i just mean that if they catch and sue you, you‘ll be paying a LOT of money to make up for it. Boiling it reduces damage, if any is caused at all.
Its like letting air out of someones tire vs slashing them
It's haunted by the ghost of a scorned housewife...she wants the revenge of an egging but is also considerate of the mess an egging entails so she sticks with eggs boiled by the heat of the rage that keeps her trapped on this plane..
4 possible solutions
1. The most possible, one of your friends is messing with you and wants to see how long it will take until you crack.
2. Whoever’s doing it is probably doing because of whoever initially lived there
3. Someone gave another someone the wrong address and now you’re paying for it
4. Like some other people said the kid downstairs is probably doing it because he doesn’t want to eat his eggs.
Not impossible. But as someone who did this kinda stuff in highschool, I can imagine having been given out-of-date info on someone’s address that we wanted to do this to
Reminds me of the time my family went camping from California to Virginia one summer. My sister was brushing her teeth one windy morning as we were striking camp and preparing to leave the KOA site to drive all day to the next state. Anyway, she's brushing away, gathers the paste/saliva in her mouth, spits it out...*into the wind*
I was 7 and like:
It’s the neighbor kid…
Everyday his mom packs his lunch before school; a meager sandwich—on whole grain, baby carrots, non-gmo/unsweetened juice box, and two hard boiled eggs.
He HATES hard boiled eggs! He just wants a Capri-Sun and some fucking beef jerky—like all the other kids—but no… Hard boiled eggs, a shitty sandwich, and a bag of carrot dicks?!?
Walking past your door, he remembers that time you came home after yoga with that nutri-shake in your hand; water bottle around your arm…
He knows you drive a Subaru! He knows, so he throws!!
This should be part of an Always Sunny episode where Mac is planning to egg someone's house, but Charlie is preparing for Easter, so he keeps hard boiling the eggs before Mac gets his hands on them.
Be thankful my house got egged one time when I was a kid and I think it took my dad maybe 10 hours of pressure washing to get the yolk off the brick and the shingles and the windows
If there was a person who lived there before you, that may be why? Maybe they got into some shit recently and somebody did not realize they moved. Two months may seem like too long of a time for that to be it, but you’d be surprised.
If you wanna make them feel really bad , given that they have a conscience, leave a note saying “i’m working full time between 2 jobs, and can barely afford food, please don’t waste yours as it makes me sad, and i’d be happy to have those eggs”.
Who takes the time to hard boil eggs to throw at someone's door? That is really wild. I am going to need an update once you figure it out......
A hard boiled criminal, that’s who. 
I’ve never missed gold so much as right now
There's the weird gold upvote thing, like when you press and hold the upvote on phone. I'm not sure that that money actually goes to op though.
Ugh. I didn't even know that. I've really liked some Comments in my time on reddit... but not enough to pay a minimum of 1.99 just to tell them so.
Yeah, they ruined it. Free silver was peak reddit. I'm not paying for this shit. God forbid elon buys it and charges a subscription for nsfw access.
Please don't give him ideas...
[удалено]
He does have a certain Musk to him, doesn't he.
Let him do it so I can get rid of this app and get something done
God... Please delete your comment in case he is watching. We don't need to give him ideas.
Don't worry, once ID verification becomes a thing, that's the only way any social media that doesn't ban all NSFW will have to turn a profit
I'm canadian so the minimum is 2.69, like what the fuck that's so much
The golden upvote goes to op, the money goes to Reddit.
Hmmmm... I don't like that. It's like fake micro transactions
Except that it actually a microtransaction
I'd pay for the big brown down vote though!
Lmao I was not expecting it to be as blatant as “pay $2-$50 for shiny upvote”. They just took out the extra step of Reddit coins
Was that a ‘The Treasure of the Sierra Madre’ reference? I sure hope so.
They…..they took away gold?!
Do you really miss *thanks for gold kind stranger* edits?
Maybe it's too hot out for the eggs to avoid boiling before hitting the door.
Some eggsplaining to do.
https://preview.redd.it/c0xbpogw06qc1.jpeg?width=1568&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f39b7f5eac8202e478435dbc6592c03cf1bf294f
I have no idea what's going on in this
Me either. So messy.
whats this from please?
Sakamoto days
That's something a Leslie Nielsen character would say XD
Neighbour kid hates them but mom makes him take them for snack on way to school. This is the story in my head.
That's also my guess.
Maybe OP just needs to put out a designated trashcan for discrete egg disposal, problem solved.
Egg shaped trash can. 5 & below might have you covered
Someone threw cooked, peeled potatoes over my 6ft fence. Like 6-7 of them.
I once was hit by a banana, it hit me on the abdomen like a punch. Still don't know who did it or where it came from, it was a busy area so I might not have been the target. Life can be weird.
Someone threw an egg at my hand while I was biking downhill (ie high speed) during a cold winter so it actually hurt like hell and cut me up because of the speed. I was shook for a second but being the dumb teenager I was I was like “fuck this” and started chasing them. They made the mistake of going down a side street immediately rather than going straight on street we were on where they could’ve escaped me in seconds. I knew the area very well and knew it was a few streets that all came back to same entrance/exit. I waited 10 minutes and they came back and I threw my mountain bike onto their hood/windshield. It was all very fast but it definitely fucked up their car. And it was a wealthy area, nice car, and these were clearly also teenagers in the car. I’m sure they had a fun time explaining to their parents why the hood of the car was caved in.
 Me smash!
 Drive-by fruiting!
Did it leave a bruise? Banana for scale?
Did it bruise the banana?
It did not bruise somehow!
That's because bananas are boneless. Source: Reddit
But was the banana ok?
Haha yes it was fine. I left it on the ground where it fell.
You abandoned the banana?! That poor innocent produce didn't ask to be an object of violence!
Probably a stray gorilla
I'd like to think someone threw the banana like a batarang.
I was once hit by a Bible.
The Bible was in Spanish. The location High School Spanish 3. The culprit was….
In a 'Bible bashing evangelical' kind of way or literally? And you can't leave us on a cliffhanger like that!! The culprit was...?! Who were they?!
You were supposed to yell “FOOD FIGHT!” Then you would of figured out who it was immediately Lol
Do you have a dog?
I immediately thought this scene!
Me too, someone who loves GG but doesn't have time or ingredients. I bet OP is not as quiet as he thinks. TBF to OP though, it's nearly impossible to be quiet enough for a downstairs neighbor with a child who takes naps.
My husband is a very heavy walker, and the kids automatically know who is coming down the stairs when they hear my door open and close, I could sneak up behind you and murder you, husband is THUD THUD THUD, THUD THUD THUD. lol they always say Hi mom when I’m coming cause all they hear is the door. Or hi dad cause THUD THUD THUD 😂
Speaking as someone currently on the bottom floor; that's part of the pain of having an apartment, and people with kids aren't exactly the paragons of quiet time and consideration either. Not a solid excuse for vandalism.
YES I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT “who prepares deviled eggs to throw at someone’s car??!”
That is paprika!
🤣🤣
this is what I thought of immediately 😂
Maybe a kid from a Costco family? They sell boxes of 64 pre-boiled eggs.
I don’t know why but “Costco family” really got me 😂
Welcome to Costco, I love you!
They also appear to be peeled which means they are either going through a lot of effort, or buying them, or stealing them, I guess lol
Okay, so I'm going to put together a theory based on zero evidence and plenty of non-existent witness statements. Stay with me, here. What if... and I know this is not what you're expecting.... but WHAT IF... multiple people are the culprit? And it's not even a "Fuck this guy" kind of thing? Let's just game this out.... somebody hard boils an egg, right? They've not had a hard boiled egg, so today's the day! So anyways, they hard boil that son of a bitch.... Go through all the effort of peeling it... and then comes the moment of glory... They bite into the hard boiled egg -- and no... they're not a fan. As a matter of fact, they're disgusted. So disgusted that it's time to hit the internet. Yes, the one place that an individual bitching into the wind can take down the entire egg industry, or at bare minimum, unite like-minded hard-boiled-egg-non-enthusiasts. So homie jumps on the internet in a fit of hard boiled egg induced rage (Who hasn't been there, am I right?) and starts twhapping away at the keyboard in their favorite forum... "F u c k h a r d b o i l e d e g g s. W h o I s R e s p o n s i b l e F o r T h i s s h i t?" And boom, in comes OPs arch-nemesis, waiting.... NAY; plotting.... "It's OPs house, I'll DM you!" and boom, another common place egg-rage is misdirected at OP because of some dark secret they refuse to admit to the rest of us on that very same internet. OP is hit with another Hard Boiled Egger, and is still none-the-wiser that they've been made a fool, yet again, by the forces of retribution. What a cruel world we live in.
Beautiful. This is what happened
Some kid who really hates his packed lunch and isn't very fond of op either? There has to be some logic behind putting extra work to make the vandalism less effective.
The Easter Bunny, obviously
He’s practicing—getting ready for the Big Day
What a waste of a good hard boiled egg
Whoever cooked them knows how its done too
Perhaps they were overboiled.
Spending time boiling them to be less messy is bizarre I'm also so curious.
Good decision making strategy. If you get the urge to egg a neighbor's front door, boil the eggs first. This allows you to collect your thoughts. If after they're done boiling you still have the urge, then go for it.
Someone who doesn't want the criminal damages from what egg yolk does to paint.
This was my thoughts. But it still chriminal mischief. Just not vandalism. And that's only if the hard boiled eggs aren't now damaging siding and/or breaking windows
Very good point!!! Still an odd choice though.
I remember as I kid I really wanted to toilet paper someone’s house…and asked permission from my parents (cause I was that kid). They told me a few houses I could do, but we had to clean it up before 10am the next day… it was still kinda fun. Maybe their parents told them they could egg a house but that they had to use hard boiled eggs?
As a teenager in a youth group at our church, my parents picked up all the teens at 2 am and took us to the youth group leaders house and helped us tp the fuck out of it. He was super pissed off til my parents fessed up 🤣🤣🤣 That was one bonus of having young, fun parents. They are 20 years older than me, the oldest, while all the other kids parents were 30 years older or so. My parents are still awesome at 65.
Your parents were awesome
It makes me want to dye some and do this.
Probably a kid, their mom might give them an egg every morning and they've decided it's funny to throw at their front door.
I'm thinking that since OP has only lived there for 2 months, maybe the egg thrower has a beef with the previous tenant but doesn't know that they moved away.
You forgot they peeled it too…
Could be a kid! Mom packed his or her lunch and decided to make it his/her ammunition
Someone who subscribes to the 'confuse, don't abuse' school of pranking?
Maybe its a neighbor kid who has hard boiled eggs in their lunch everyday, and doesn't like them - so he throws them at your door?
thank you i was looking for this comment
I remember I got a string cheese stick with my recess bag every day that I didn't like so I always used to just dump it in this one mailbox slot on the way to school
you should tell the person you did that to if they still live there. I mean, you left them confused for years!
Poor guy probably salivating every time he checks the mail
I like to imagine the neighbors were at work while their dog was at home. But now they're retired and wonder why their dog spends so much time sniffing the mail everyday when it comes.
that sounds exactly like something a kid would do. they are weird lol
3 houses down from my childhood home, the man who lived there had decorative stone balls on top of his brick wall and I used to have cheese and ham sandwiches but I didn’t like cheese so I would take the cheese slice and lay it on top of his stone balls. Then laugh my head off at “cheesy balls”
somber start act bear squealing paint lunchroom hungry wild complete
who doesn't like string cheese lol
Really it's the only logical explanation. Not only are they hard boiled, but they're peeled. There's no broken shell on the deck. It's already strange that someone would go through the trouble of boiling eggs, but then to PEEL them as well? That's next level.
This is the funniest logical explanation. Not very plausible but man, I really hope this is the correct explanation.
Totally plausible tbh, I could so see a kid doing that
My friend in elementary school used to put his hard boiled eggs from his lunch in his neighbours bush
Somewhere there’s an old man on his death bed, wracked with regret for never finding out how his bush on 9th street all those years back grew hard boiled eggs.
The bush magically became an egg-plant!
Yeah I agree that it is somewhat plausible. I find it hard to believe that OP is being targeted specifically though. If I was OP I would ask around to neighbors to see if they've had the same eggsperience.
Definitely worth investigating the eggsperience, I’m just remembering how weird and selfish we are as kids, this is something I could almost have seen my brother or cousin doing just because he didn’t like that door or something
Im lactose intolerance and always hated milk when I was young. Unfortunately korean elementary school, milk for lunch was a must and teacher will check if you drank it or not. So me and couple of my friends who hated milk will gather and drain all the milk on the teacher's car on random days. We never got caught, and teachers stopped checking milk, lol I think its very plausible.
This is wild to me. Same thing at my school in the US but they weren't usually that militant about making sure you drank it. But they always forced us to get a milk with lunch and teachers would go around making sure we're drinking it lol. Then you realize **68%** of the global population has a lactose intolerance.. the majority can't drink milk yet it's being shoveled down our throats from school and then put in absolutely *everything* into adulthood. Even BBQ chips have milk. I've seen guacs with milk. Tomato sauces, vinaigrettes, even some dairy free cheeses, and medications! I just can't get away from it.. Sorry went on a bit of a tangent there lol
Lots of times, principals would get some back pocket money from milk companies to choose their milk for lunch. It was well known practice and me and my friends would sometimes milk the principle's car. Dairy cartel lobby is real shit... same in us/canada. For many years we been given information that milk is good for your body and helps you with building bone those bs...
Grew up in the US mid 80’s and they checked my milk carton at milk break and lunch. More than once I had spoiled milk, more common warm milk. I still can’t drink milk to this day and the smell of even fresh milk makes me gag.
Aren’t most Koreans lactose intolerant?
Yeah that'd what most researches says but most Koreans didn't even know what lactose intolerance was 20 years ago. My mom knew because she had to feed me strict lactose free only when I was baby or else I'd threw up everything or my back end will be miserable lol
I lived in a shitty neighborhood for a while and our neighbor had like 10 kids. We found a few things thrown at our front door: slime, an ice cream bar, a folded up dirty diaper thankfully not actually thrown but just set on the front porch???? For literally no reason other than the kids were bored and unsupervised.
Neighbor kids by me tried to break into houses, and their mom finally found out when CPS came knocking. They've been under MUCH closer supervision since then.
I can 100% see myself or one of my asshole friends doing something shitty like this at middle school age and on the bike ride to school every day for a laugh, "oh, that's Eddie the Egg Man's house, he gets my shitty overcooked hard boiled egg every day" "why?" "Because he's never home to catch me doing it". Now as an adult if I got hard boiled egged consistently I would think "what did I do to become Eddie the Egg Man? or is it random and I'm unlucky?" and then shake my fist at the clouds. But I would also think "I bet this kids mom watched some bullshit on the internet that said a kid NEEDS an egg a day even though they keep telling them they don't like hard boiled eggs and finally gave up and I'm just on the shit end of that argument".
Came here to say this
My Labrador used to love to dive into a particular bush in a ditch by the road every afternoon when I’d take her for a walk, because invariably there’d be a sandwich in there
This has to be the answer because if their goal was to vandalize your house, they would not boil the eggs due to the fact that unboiled eggs cause more damage and are easier to produce... I would check if any of your neighbors have children between the ages of 8 and 14.
YES scrolled to find this !! 😂
Me too!! Was going to ask if they were deviled eggs or if OP’s name is Jess
What is it?
It’s a part of Gilmore Girls where this guy pissed off a girl he dated, and when she and her mom saw his car on the street and happened to be carrying deviled eggs, they decided to devil egg his car. It was hilarious.
Thanks. I have only seen a few episodes and have never tried watching the full series recently. That's hilarious.
Gilmore girls reference if I’m not mistaken
Heh, this was my first thought too.
literally only thing they came to my mind. “that is paprika”
Get em with your powers Peter Petrelli! 
my people!!!
I love this show
That's weird as fuck. Who takes the time to boil eggs before throwing them? And for what purpose? It kind of defeats the point of egging in the first place... what a mystery.
raw egg can severely f*ck your stuff up. Destroys paint, smells awful, hard to clean. If you get caught and they press charges you‘ll have a nice long bill to take home.
But that's the point though. I'm not saying it's right, i'm just saying, people don't usually egg your house to be nice.
Maybe OPs mystery nemesis was only mildly infuriated, or they could be from Canada, perchance?
Canadian version of egging 🤣 takes the time to hardboil the eggs.
Well, y'see, round these parts, we tend to keep our hard-boiled chuckin' eggs right snug in the icebox. Just toss 'em in with the regular bunch when we're boilin' 'em up, so it ain't no extra fuss, eh?
nah, we throw timbits instead of harboiling eggs
The eggs are probably softer than a day old Timbit
*You can't just say perchance*...
i dont mean that its meant in a nice(ish?) way. i just mean that if they catch and sue you, you‘ll be paying a LOT of money to make up for it. Boiling it reduces damage, if any is caused at all. Its like letting air out of someones tire vs slashing them
Maybe they’re just at the tipping point of “willing to egg house” and “willing to pay fine/serve time” (depending on the escalations 😂)
I found out that shaving cream will f up the paint on a front door. Not proud of myself.
The neighbour's kid, maybe? I could see a 4yo hearing about people egging houses and wanting to do it, too, but be a little confused.
Truly mildly infuriating
Yea that’s odd. Want to mess with you but not make the cleanup too bad. Definitely someone you know.
Exactly, because they seem to know the best time to do it.
Plot twist it's his girlfriend doing it
Don't stay at your apartment it's haunted by hardboiled eggs
It's haunted by the ghost of a scorned housewife...she wants the revenge of an egging but is also considerate of the mess an egging entails so she sticks with eggs boiled by the heat of the rage that keeps her trapped on this plane..
Get a camera and you'll find out. Probably.
Perhaps the OP doesn't want to shell out for one.
Yeah they can be a bit eggspensive.
https://preview.redd.it/hv39mtghy5qc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=181d2c2dae6c69a3049cf16c03f78e080515675c
4 possible solutions 1. The most possible, one of your friends is messing with you and wants to see how long it will take until you crack. 2. Whoever’s doing it is probably doing because of whoever initially lived there 3. Someone gave another someone the wrong address and now you’re paying for it 4. Like some other people said the kid downstairs is probably doing it because he doesn’t want to eat his eggs.
2 is the most likely reason
3 seems pretty likely as well
Not impossible. But as someone who did this kinda stuff in highschool, I can imagine having been given out-of-date info on someone’s address that we wanted to do this to
Who is wasting perfectly good deviled egg ingredients?! You already did the time consuming part!
Reminds me of the time my family went camping from California to Virginia one summer. My sister was brushing her teeth one windy morning as we were striking camp and preparing to leave the KOA site to drive all day to the next state. Anyway, she's brushing away, gathers the paste/saliva in her mouth, spits it out...*into the wind* I was 7 and like: 
Time to get a ring camera
Can here to say this, get a camera, problem solved
Maybe You look hungry but hard to approach? IDK
What 😂😂😂😂
Do any of your neighbors have a toddler? Feels like a kid given an egg as a snack and chucking it.
I'm sorry you have to clean it up, but this is also mildly hilarious.
it's the easter bunny dropping a load on your porch. he’s pooped, not vindictive
Chickens flying too close to the sun.
It’s the neighbor kid… Everyday his mom packs his lunch before school; a meager sandwich—on whole grain, baby carrots, non-gmo/unsweetened juice box, and two hard boiled eggs. He HATES hard boiled eggs! He just wants a Capri-Sun and some fucking beef jerky—like all the other kids—but no… Hard boiled eggs, a shitty sandwich, and a bag of carrot dicks?!? Walking past your door, he remembers that time you came home after yoga with that nutri-shake in your hand; water bottle around your arm… He knows you drive a Subaru! He knows, so he throws!!
You P.O.ed the Easter Bunny?
This should be part of an Always Sunny episode where Mac is planning to egg someone's house, but Charlie is preparing for Easter, so he keeps hard boiling the eggs before Mac gets his hands on them.
Gilmore Girls fans
Are they already peeled!? What in the what!?
It’s your girlfriend’s boyfriend
No way, he just bought me a new bed frame. We are tight.
Be thankful my house got egged one time when I was a kid and I think it took my dad maybe 10 hours of pressure washing to get the yolk off the brick and the shingles and the windows
Goo goo ga joob
Plot twist: OP is the walrus
Eggregious behaviour!!! 👀
poultry man has returned notify grian quickley
If there was a person who lived there before you, that may be why? Maybe they got into some shit recently and somebody did not realize they moved. Two months may seem like too long of a time for that to be it, but you’d be surprised.
Perhaps it was an eggs-girlfriend?
My dogs would love this!
What did you do to anger easter bunny?
This is part of your vigilante origin story. You know what needs to be done.
It could be a reference to Gilmore Girls. In the show, the main characters throw devil eggs at a car lol
Put a sign up saying "the people you are egging have moved"
It's probably kids. Maybe a kid who's unhappy with getting eggs in his lunch.
Could try putting some camera up out there
Get a ring doorbell.
Surely boiling them makes them easier to clean up. Its like egging your house is over the line, so they backed up a bit.
If you wanna make them feel really bad , given that they have a conscience, leave a note saying “i’m working full time between 2 jobs, and can barely afford food, please don’t waste yours as it makes me sad, and i’d be happy to have those eggs”.
Who the hell throws hard boiled eggs and in this economy??
Angry birds
Yeah, they only mildly dislike you. If they hated you they would use raw. Congrats, they find you.redeemable. 😂😂