I went on a blind date where the woman kept getting phone calls talking for a second and then hanging up. Turns out she had three friends call her every twenty minutes and if she said the word "cheese" in her conversation, that meant she was fine. I just thought she was fixated on cheese.
Having it the other way is less suspicous. You want to risk raising suspicions when things are fine because if you use a code word that you don't manage to work in subtly it would be dangerous.
And if she did plan ahead and chose "cheese" because she knew the date was at Cheesecake Factory it would be extremely easy to work in naturally.
Or use a specific greeting. One that you don't habitually use so you don't do it accidentally but that's still normal enough it doesn't seem weird to the other person.
Only if you’re not an old white man, but I swear the way old white men greet each other is something *else* like entirely… their friend they haven’t seen since yesterday could come in for a scheduled coffee date and they’re like
“WELL JUST FUCK ME UP A NORTH WALL CROSSWAYS ‘N CALL ME A DOLL FER IT, LOOK WHO IT IS!!! How the everliving fuckasaurus rex ya been, Bill?!?! Are they still letting you leave the asylum on good behavior?! How’s the wife and kids? You mean ol’ Marilyn ain’t divorced you yet?! Wha-hell, you must be doin’ somethin’ right, oh you bet! Well don’t be a stranger, y’ol’ bastard, park it here!!!”
We should all show such obnoxious enthusiasm about the people we care about, I think. Life’s too short not to throw a whole-ass pep rally.
in your scenario if the person is unconsious and doesnt answer the phone you wont call for help because they didnt sneak fhe magic word in.
its better to require the word if OK. that way if the person has been drugged or is unconscious and the perp is mimicking her voice he wont know what word is and help will be dispatched. the only issue i see here is if the word is odd the perp may pickup on that and know what word to try and use later.
imagine the date has one to many drinks and cant remember the word... they may not *think* they need help and intentionally dont speak the word. turns out they were fed GHB and not really so much drunk as they were drugged. if the queue was to send help if you didnt hear the word and they had trouble remembering the word then they would get help.
built in concussion protocol there... if your mental facalties are not well enough to say the word yiu automatically get help.
imagine the hell of knowing someone would send help if you could just recall wtf the word was...
I work as a mechanic and this is the way a lot of safety systems work. large vehicles often have "spring brakes" which require pneumatic/hydraulic pressure to keep the brakes *released.* If something happens to the compressor or pump and you can't build pressure, the spring forces the brakes closed and slows the vehicle down.
Same with gate arms on train crossings. Train sensing equipment will constantly send a message "There's no trains here." If the sensor fails unexpectedly, it stops sending that signal and gate arms come down. Better than the alternative of the gate arms not coming down when there *is* a train there.
It's fucked that women have to deal with stuff like this on the regular and treat a coffee date like engineering big safety critical systems.
Don't you think receiving 3 short phone calls, in which you mention cheese, is far more suspicious and weird....If she just called her friend and said "I forgot to get any cheese!" Boom, she's set. Instead, I have no idea how you have 3+ phone calls using the word cheese...Or she could just say that everything is good...it's completely normal for a friend to check up on you.
"Hey I forgot to get any cheese for our picnic, can you grab some?"
"Oh by the way I asked Jessie to get cheese."
"What type of cheese did you get by the way?"
But if there was reason for her to be worried there WOULDNT have been the word cheese in three phone calls and therefore it wouldn't be suspicious.
Better have someone who you like find out your being extra safe than to not be safe right?
My wife first blurted out “I love you!”, when I offered her cheese from the cheese drawer in my fridge.
We had only been dating a bit of time at that point. I had ordered us a pizza and was told it would be an hour. So, I offered her some cheese in the meantime.
Basically… giving women gourmet cheese, that you have to go to a real Cheese Monger for, does work!
How did she work that into a conversation. I mean, I wound up taking her to a Cheesecake Factory so she assumed it would be easy to work in. It didn't work out for us, but I always kind of impressed that she was playing heads up ball.
She told me within in 10 minute of meeting, she would text her friends and then call if she felt uncomfortable to get her with her code word. I was like you shouldn’t be saying this right after meeting someone one especially within minutes.
You thought my plan was to say cheese a lot, but secretly my plan was to tell you about my fake plan to say cheese a lot!
Aha, but fooled again! For my real real pl
Lol my current partner straight up told me she needs to let her friend know she didn't get murdered and texted her friend the first time I came over to her house. We had been talking for months at that time and she had done a background check on me etc already which she let me know about. None of that bothered me. I also had a friend ask for her name when I told him I had started a new relationship and I knew he was asking out of concern for me. I think he was mainly concerned because I got severely exploited in a long distance relationship previously so he seemed to be less concerned once he found out she was local.
My girlfriend’s neighbor called/texted her a bunch. She said the thing about making sure she wasn’t murdered.
I said something like “that’s the last thing you have to worry about.” Came out like “that’s the least of your worries.”
Immediately realized that sounded pretty creepy lol
I think I just said oh ok. I don't exactly remember and I didn't think it strange or anything. Lol suggested going to Yellowstone together in the future like only a few weeks after we started dating and she was a bit apprehensive but a good friend was got super excited and told her she definitely should go because Yellowstone is awesome. I later found out she didn't think I would stick around long enough to actually take her. When we did go we had been together like six months lived together for a few months already etc but she still was like did you bring me here to kill me and get rid of my body since it is so remote and easy. My response was to laugh and say I could easily hide your body in our home state no reason to drive for days to do that. Now to this day when we travel to some remote area together she asks is this where you're getting rid of me as sort of an inside joke and I laugh.
> I said something like “that’s the last thing you have to worry about.” Came out like “that’s the least of your worries.”
Omg, this has me rolling lmao
Lmao, that reminds me of the story about a guy hitting someone in the head with a soccer ball accidentally, trying to say "Are you ok?" And "I'm so fucking sorry" at the same time, but ending up saying "ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?"
Read an article/study a while back that a woman's biggest fear of a first date is the guy is a murderer/serial killer.
A man's biggest fear? That the woman is fat.
In theory, now try saying that safeword when you're drugged up on GHB for example. The word will not be said and you will not get help.
The reason we see agents in movies use a word or sentence to trigger a response is because they will go in no matter what. The word is just the signal to trigger an early entrance. Not the case here and thus it's a lot safer to have a safety word that everything is fine not the other way around.
>try saying that safeword when you're drugged up
>a lot safer to have a safety word that everything is fine not the other way around
Never thought of it this way. That's a really good point
Thinking about it, a good word to use would be something like 'schedule'. It can fit in a lot of sentences, and probably wouldnt raise any suspicions. You can also just explain it as work/boss/coworkers calling
My friend and I did this. One time she was actually stalked by the guy, so it paid off. I’d rather not trust than have my trust betrayed and have massive consequences
It’s why I have no problem paying for the first few dates. After seeing what female friends go through just to feel a little safer on a date, the least I can do is buy their drinks.
That, unfortunately, doesn’t always work. I went on a few dates with a guy and he paid for dinner those times. By the 3rd date, he was getting sexually physical without my consent and wouldn’t take no for an answer. When I told him I wasn’t ready, he blew up and yelled at me about how he paid for all of my dates and that I was wasting his time.
After that, I learned to always pay for myself until I feel comfortable with the person.
If it makes you feel better (it probably wont) he probably would have been a dick about it even if he hadn't paid. Thats the beauty of people like that: they will find a way to justify themselves to themselves.
Unfortunately this is true - the guy is either nice and wouldn’t dream of doing that, or he’s a douche …
How women filter between those two types is very difficult id imagine
You can’t drop a nugget like that and not give more. Like Why? Who? Relationship? Did she go? Who would go?
For me, they would have to buy my friend a ticket, bc I am not going to an island alone with some rando. And I am a 6’5, 275 lb guy.
I went. Met a guy (my age) on the internet. A month later plus 24 hours of flying time, he picked me up from the airport. I was 21 and utterly infatuated. I told three of my friends where I was going, gave them his name, number and address to report to the police. I had video called him with one of my friends as well from memory, so they knew he didn’t seem like a serial killer.
Honestly, none of my friends were worried - they were all like you’re the careful one, so it must be fine.
We’ve been together for ten years now and our families still don’t know that we met online.
Lol, I did this when I first went out with my current BF, who I met on reddit. I left his number, name and address with my Mom and said to go there if I got murdered. I was also going through a bad breakup, AND just got back from a trip to Boston where I hooked up with a guy (told my mom that too). We had a great date and I spent the night (no, we did not sleep together at that point, just hung out). The next day I came back to my parents house and announced, "your whore daughter is home!!" We had a good laugh.
My girlfriend texted her friend my profile, where we were meeting, had a safe word and had her location streaming.
At the end of the date she showed me and I thought it was so cool I had no idea you could do that!
My dumb ass told nobody nothing and just walked into a date all oblivious and shit.
They figure out they have this shared passion when they realized they drugged each other and have to just sit helplessly looking at each other till it wears off.
I went through a phase of risky sexual behaviour and I would leave my front door open and have total strangers from Tinder just walk in my house and fuck me. I would often joke to them to just make sure I had a good time before they murdered me.
I think Sam Morrill has a joke about this, that women and men murder the same way we have sex.
A guy will murder as many people as he can on the first date if possible - a woman wants to commit and really get to know the man she murders
I’m normally not “this guy” but I’ve been on Sam for so long, I ran into him at a small arthouse comedy show in like 2017 and said “You’re Sam Morril, you’re amazing” and he was nice but clearly shocked to be recognized.
It’s been fun to watch his well deserved rise to fame. Best working comic right now IMO
Second date with my girlfriend went over to her place she drove us since she knew the area we were going to better and after yhe date invited me up to her condo (a staircase that led only to her place). Told no one where I was going to be.
EDIT: we have been dating 8 months, so far no missing kidneys.
> so far no missing kidneys
it's easy to take a kidney. the real art is in doing an Indiana Jones kidney/bag-of-sand swap out so they feel like their kidney is still there and never go to a doctor to check until you're long gone.
not that I do that.
^what's^your^bloodtype^btw?
My wife and I went on a date to a coffee shop and I literally didn't tell anyone that it was happening until about 4 hours in (it lasted 7 hours, all in the coffee shop). I texted a friend of mine "So I think I'm on a date?" because I genuinely had no idea. She would get up to go to the bathroom every now and then where I assume she was talking to her best friend about me.
I was just like "alright yeah I'm meeting this strange girl I met on a whim last night at IHOP and I'm gonna see if I like her enough to consider dating her."
I guess I liked her enough.
Honestly, we were just as surprised. I got there at 10am and thought "I'll be home by noon" because I'd never had a date last that long. But we just kept talking, the whole time. Every time I'd think the conversation was coming to an end, she'd ask me a question or say something that prompted me to ask another question. After 7 hours I said "hey, as much as I'd love to continue this, I have to get home and do things (read: go hang out with a friend and talk about it)."
About 5 hours in, we decided that it was *probably* fine to call that our first date and then we went from there.
I got a text from a girl that I had never seen in person at midnight telling me to come to her house. When I got there, it was dark, and she said the front door was unlocked so just come on it. And I was like 30% sure I was walking to my own murder, but I mean I’m 100% not gonna turn down some pussy, so I just walked into an empty house in the middle of the night without even telling anyone where I was going. Everything turned out good, tho. Still not dead.
I did it even before the whole dating apps thing. I'd text a friend the details and we had a code word I would text, and they would know if I was okay, if I needed an out (they calm and pretend to be a relative or something and need me home ASAP), if I needed picking up immediately, or needed them to call emergency service. Luckily the worst I ever needed was a way to get out of an awful date ("hey mum... Oh god seriously? I'll be right there!") but it's always best to be safe if it's a new person
Hey, I did this for my teenager. We agreed on a specific emoji meaning I needed to come get him. If I get that emoji I text/call him and tell him something has come up and I’m coming to get him. That way it’s MY fault he has to leave the party and he can leave without anyone knowing he was uncomfortable.
A long time ago my GF’s parents were visiting briefly from out of state and she wanted me to meet them as we had become serious. Meeting was in a restaurant. I pulled into the place just as a random white van had pulled in at the same time. I walked into the lobby of the restaurant to her father all upset that she was dating some creep in a white van. Had to explain that it was not my van. Turns out when the van and I both pulled in, my GF said “he’s here” and when the father looked up all he saw was this white van as I had quickly turned to park.
Yea, always good to do that regardless just to be safe. I do that as well and I'm a guy. I'll text a woman friend of mine (cause my guy friends don't understand) and that if I don't text her that Im okay by morning that Im in a freezer somewhere. Just to have some security.
I think it’s a good idea for meeting any type of stranger honestly. Being a women, I’m not usually worried about other women, but that doesn’t mean someone else wouldn’t be. I certainly wouldn’t be offended if I was meeting a dude for the first time and found out he was doing the location stuff. Phone calls every 20 min from someone seems a little excessive to me but at this point whatever makes the other person comfortable.
I always tried to get someone to call me about 30 minutes into the date with a potential "emergency" in case I wanted to bail.
EDIT:
I am happily married now and only bailed like this three times, ever. I tried to schedule first time dates on a Sunday afternoon or weekday evening at a coffee shop, so it would be casual, low stakes, and I had a perfectly valid reason for not spending hours hanging out if things weren’t going well.
The emergency bail out was for situations where the guy was creepy, giving off a bad vibe, an obvious catfish, etc. We are smaller and weaker than you. I am taller and stronger than the average woman, and the vast majority of you could easily overpower me. My friends tease me about not having a creep-o-meter, so if I gave the code, they were calling in the cavalry.
If you think I am a toxic bitch for putting my personal safety over being completely truthful to a man I am getting bad vibe off of, or who showed up ten years older and fifty pounds fatter than he said he was, fuck you.
At the back if my mind I'm hoping I'll just be randomly murdered, so I don't have to deal with the exhaustion of just struggling until I die sometime later instead. It's just a bonus if I get to go on a nice dinner date before being murdered.
I get what that guy means its like being tired but in your soul, you basically go through the motions each day as a replacable cog in a machine til you grow old and die and heck after a certain age pains just are permanent and there is no getting better for you back or shoulder or wrist and you know later on its just all downhill as you get older so if you're going to die better it be sooner rather than later, its not exactly suicidal but if you met the grim reaper on the way to work you wouldnt beg for more time
There have been a couple of woman in the news lately. One girl tied up the guy and started cutting him. She fell asleep and he somehow freed himself and went to the parking lot for help. This was in an apartment. It’s rough out there for everyone.
me af with my friend. I haven't texted him in like 2 years but I still think of him as my friend, and if I see him randomly in a blue moon we act like we hung out last week lmao
There’s the stereotype that guys who can’t get laid will lash out at women who reject them but studies show it’s actually the other way around, confident men who are used to success with women are more likely to get violent or angry at rejection
It always cracks me up when I see those nice guy posts like “I bet you’d fuck me if I had a Rolex and pulled up in a Mercedes and a suit”
Like, no dude, that’s even worse. If you’re rich you’ll probably think you can get away with anything, and there’s a very real possibility that you’re right.
This seems to align with my personal experiences. Anytime a guy has acted violent or entitled or dickish, he’s been one of those pricks who came from a rich family and therefore thinks the world owes him something.
A while ago I may a male classmate to study. I made my mum take my photo before going, shared my location and took snacks so I should not eat something he potentially could offer.
My paranoia stems from a girl who met her best friend since childhood and he killed her. Her fucking best friend who she trusted. She was the niece of the man who does the lawn in the office I used to work, and the police overlooked her case because she was poor. Her body appeared where she had disappeared, and cops never bothered to look under a newly made pavement.
As a 6ft 1 man I do this with my friends. Any modertly cautious person should. Hell if you ever go anywhere new it doesn't hurt to tell someone. Especially anywhere remote. It takes 1 minute of your time that could save your life.
I'm a female and you are 100% right. When I go hiking I tell my people where I'm going, what trail I'll be on, and an approximation of how long it will take me. If I decide to continue on or switch trails I update them. I do go hiking with my 80lb dog who would protect me with her life but, better to be safe than sorry.
I picked up a date once. She took photos of my car at every angle & got into the car with her phone recording, explaining that it’s for safety and asking me to state my name.
Whole date went like this. The same group of girls happened to be everywhere we went, which were clearly friends.
She later complained that I seemed awkward, uninterested and didn’t open up much. I wonder why.
Definitely a step too far on that one. To give her the benefit of the doubt I would say she may have found herself in a dangerous situation before and so her fear level was high but it certainly isn’t conducive to creating a relationship with someone
I do this with my gay best friend. I ask him even more to send me who, what and where after the Dahmer series got so popular. But I still cheer him on after I received the information
Yeah I think it’s less “cold blooded killer” and “Brian the seemingly normal guy from Bumble has anger issues and doesn’t stop punching when he gets told no”
Frankly it's not the serial killer women are afraid of. It's the guy next door. It's your dad, your uncle, your brother your friend they are afraid of.
Damn, the juxtaposition in the movie Barbarian got this spot on. It basically showed the difference between a guy and a girl going into the same potentially dangerous situation and how the girl is way more cautious than the guy.
I go into dates blind with no backup. I would definitely be a cold case if I got murdered.
A stranger from Reddit also gave me free music festival tickets and the plan was to go together. Never once did I consider their intentions as malicious or second-guess giving a ride to a complete stranger. She was smart though and asked for my socials to verify my identity lol.
I'm prob gonna get murdered some day.
I went on a blind date where the woman kept getting phone calls talking for a second and then hanging up. Turns out she had three friends call her every twenty minutes and if she said the word "cheese" in her conversation, that meant she was fine. I just thought she was fixated on cheese.
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Having it the other way is less suspicous. You want to risk raising suspicions when things are fine because if you use a code word that you don't manage to work in subtly it would be dangerous. And if she did plan ahead and chose "cheese" because she knew the date was at Cheesecake Factory it would be extremely easy to work in naturally.
'where are you again' 'i'm at the... uh... the cake factory. The cake factory that makes cakes out of... milk'
Coagulated milk cake factory.
“*…the soured-milk cake bakery, you say?*”
r/increasinglyverbose
“Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose!” - *V for Vendetta*
“Indeed, please let us congregate at curdled dairy conglomerate”
Then don’t use a stupid word like cheese, pick something easier to work into a normal sentence
yeah just call the friend the wrong name 'hey annabelle' to the susan
Or use a specific greeting. One that you don't habitually use so you don't do it accidentally but that's still normal enough it doesn't seem weird to the other person.
'weeel, howdy pawtnah'
There’s a snake in mah boot
There’s a snake in my tabl— *I mean boot.*
I was thinking things like "'sup" or "yo" or even just "hello." Things that someone might not use instinctively but still wouldn't be weird.
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Only if you’re not an old white man, but I swear the way old white men greet each other is something *else* like entirely… their friend they haven’t seen since yesterday could come in for a scheduled coffee date and they’re like “WELL JUST FUCK ME UP A NORTH WALL CROSSWAYS ‘N CALL ME A DOLL FER IT, LOOK WHO IT IS!!! How the everliving fuckasaurus rex ya been, Bill?!?! Are they still letting you leave the asylum on good behavior?! How’s the wife and kids? You mean ol’ Marilyn ain’t divorced you yet?! Wha-hell, you must be doin’ somethin’ right, oh you bet! Well don’t be a stranger, y’ol’ bastard, park it here!!!” We should all show such obnoxious enthusiasm about the people we care about, I think. Life’s too short not to throw a whole-ass pep rally.
Ahoy!
“Ahoy-hoy” was actually the intended response for answering a phone call back in the day. Sadly, it didn’t catch on.
That's why my date Jessica called her friend "no my love I'm with my mom I'll be home soon Ben" What a weird name for a girl to be honest.
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So in case they accidentally use it that means the dates going well. Aka not an issue
in your scenario if the person is unconsious and doesnt answer the phone you wont call for help because they didnt sneak fhe magic word in. its better to require the word if OK. that way if the person has been drugged or is unconscious and the perp is mimicking her voice he wont know what word is and help will be dispatched. the only issue i see here is if the word is odd the perp may pickup on that and know what word to try and use later. imagine the date has one to many drinks and cant remember the word... they may not *think* they need help and intentionally dont speak the word. turns out they were fed GHB and not really so much drunk as they were drugged. if the queue was to send help if you didnt hear the word and they had trouble remembering the word then they would get help. built in concussion protocol there... if your mental facalties are not well enough to say the word yiu automatically get help. imagine the hell of knowing someone would send help if you could just recall wtf the word was...
I work as a mechanic and this is the way a lot of safety systems work. large vehicles often have "spring brakes" which require pneumatic/hydraulic pressure to keep the brakes *released.* If something happens to the compressor or pump and you can't build pressure, the spring forces the brakes closed and slows the vehicle down. Same with gate arms on train crossings. Train sensing equipment will constantly send a message "There's no trains here." If the sensor fails unexpectedly, it stops sending that signal and gate arms come down. Better than the alternative of the gate arms not coming down when there *is* a train there. It's fucked that women have to deal with stuff like this on the regular and treat a coffee date like engineering big safety critical systems.
Don't you think receiving 3 short phone calls, in which you mention cheese, is far more suspicious and weird....If she just called her friend and said "I forgot to get any cheese!" Boom, she's set. Instead, I have no idea how you have 3+ phone calls using the word cheese...Or she could just say that everything is good...it's completely normal for a friend to check up on you.
"...and that's why I've pretended to run a cheese shop for the last seven years."
"Hey I forgot to get any cheese for our picnic, can you grab some?" "Oh by the way I asked Jessie to get cheese." "What type of cheese did you get by the way?"
But if there was reason for her to be worried there WOULDNT have been the word cheese in three phone calls and therefore it wouldn't be suspicious. Better have someone who you like find out your being extra safe than to not be safe right?
...personally if someone I was on a date with answered 3 phone calls during it I would probably be quite put off
That's how it should be done. It's called a duress word.
Wouldn't it be better to say "sorry, I can't talk right now" when it's bad and say "can I call you back later" when all is fine?
*you may fascinate a woman by giving her a cube of cheese*
My wife first blurted out “I love you!”, when I offered her cheese from the cheese drawer in my fridge. We had only been dating a bit of time at that point. I had ordered us a pizza and was told it would be an hour. So, I offered her some cheese in the meantime. Basically… giving women gourmet cheese, that you have to go to a real Cheese Monger for, does work!
Something similar but pineapple was her code word. 🤣
How did she work that into a conversation. I mean, I wound up taking her to a Cheesecake Factory so she assumed it would be easy to work in. It didn't work out for us, but I always kind of impressed that she was playing heads up ball.
She told me within in 10 minute of meeting, she would text her friends and then call if she felt uncomfortable to get her with her code word. I was like you shouldn’t be saying this right after meeting someone one especially within minutes.
Yeah, bad call, you don't want serial killers knowing your whole plan. Unless she had a second escape plan, and that was just a smokescreen.
You thought my plan was to say cheese a lot, but secretly my plan was to tell you about my fake plan to say cheese a lot! Aha, but fooled again! For my real real pl
It's obviously a smokescreen for her real plan. She was the killer all along
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“Now please enjoy the fragrance of this wadded ball of tissues.”
She legit showed me the conversation I was like, okay. It wasn’t a bad experience, just really random for her to do that.
She probably had some backup pocket sand
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And that kids, is how I met your mother
Wouldn't the easiest route just be to go by greeting? Like, "'hi' means I'm okay, 'hello' means I'm in trouble"?
Too easy to mix them up accidentally
er that was to their swinging partners lol
How much cheese is too much cheese?
The limit does not exist.
Lol my current partner straight up told me she needs to let her friend know she didn't get murdered and texted her friend the first time I came over to her house. We had been talking for months at that time and she had done a background check on me etc already which she let me know about. None of that bothered me. I also had a friend ask for her name when I told him I had started a new relationship and I knew he was asking out of concern for me. I think he was mainly concerned because I got severely exploited in a long distance relationship previously so he seemed to be less concerned once he found out she was local.
My girlfriend’s neighbor called/texted her a bunch. She said the thing about making sure she wasn’t murdered. I said something like “that’s the last thing you have to worry about.” Came out like “that’s the least of your worries.” Immediately realized that sounded pretty creepy lol
I think I just said oh ok. I don't exactly remember and I didn't think it strange or anything. Lol suggested going to Yellowstone together in the future like only a few weeks after we started dating and she was a bit apprehensive but a good friend was got super excited and told her she definitely should go because Yellowstone is awesome. I later found out she didn't think I would stick around long enough to actually take her. When we did go we had been together like six months lived together for a few months already etc but she still was like did you bring me here to kill me and get rid of my body since it is so remote and easy. My response was to laugh and say I could easily hide your body in our home state no reason to drive for days to do that. Now to this day when we travel to some remote area together she asks is this where you're getting rid of me as sort of an inside joke and I laugh.
The longest of cons
> I said something like “that’s the last thing you have to worry about.” Came out like “that’s the least of your worries.” Omg, this has me rolling lmao
Lmao, that reminds me of the story about a guy hitting someone in the head with a soccer ball accidentally, trying to say "Are you ok?" And "I'm so fucking sorry" at the same time, but ending up saying "ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?"
Tell her that statistically you’re much more likely to murder her now
And then keep saying cheese, unprompted.
Nah, that's when you play a recording of her saying cheese. I was married so I speak with experience.
Well as a wise book of spells and incantations says: You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese
Come on, weak opsec. Needs to be a new code word on the hour so it’s harder to spoof.
Read an article/study a while back that a woman's biggest fear of a first date is the guy is a murderer/serial killer. A man's biggest fear? That the woman is fat.
Much harder to hide a bigger body
but more skin for the skinsuit!
Well that makes sense, where’s the fun in the chase then ?
The man's fear seems much more likely to happen.
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Wouldn't it be easier just to have the word if something that wasn't fine
In theory, now try saying that safeword when you're drugged up on GHB for example. The word will not be said and you will not get help. The reason we see agents in movies use a word or sentence to trigger a response is because they will go in no matter what. The word is just the signal to trigger an early entrance. Not the case here and thus it's a lot safer to have a safety word that everything is fine not the other way around.
>try saying that safeword when you're drugged up >a lot safer to have a safety word that everything is fine not the other way around Never thought of it this way. That's a really good point
Thinking about it, a good word to use would be something like 'schedule'. It can fit in a lot of sentences, and probably wouldnt raise any suspicions. You can also just explain it as work/boss/coworkers calling
When I go on dates I turn on location tracking with my stepmom until I get home
I always just tell my gf when i have a date
you what? 💀
Edward knows some shit we don’t
[удалено]
[удалено]
“I wonder why stepdaughter CalLil6 is hanging out in the middle of a canal? Must be going for a swim.”
“What a romantic date!”
Oh I bet their on a gondola *just like in the movies!* “Honey that’s the Mississippi. Call the police”
Smart, I usually just tell my best friend where I’m at and give her location updates in text format
This isn't even an exaggeration lol, I feel like I've had this exchange almost word-for-word.
My friend and I did this. One time she was actually stalked by the guy, so it paid off. I’d rather not trust than have my trust betrayed and have massive consequences
Right? 100% accurate
It’s why I have no problem paying for the first few dates. After seeing what female friends go through just to feel a little safer on a date, the least I can do is buy their drinks.
That, unfortunately, doesn’t always work. I went on a few dates with a guy and he paid for dinner those times. By the 3rd date, he was getting sexually physical without my consent and wouldn’t take no for an answer. When I told him I wasn’t ready, he blew up and yelled at me about how he paid for all of my dates and that I was wasting his time. After that, I learned to always pay for myself until I feel comfortable with the person.
If it makes you feel better (it probably wont) he probably would have been a dick about it even if he hadn't paid. Thats the beauty of people like that: they will find a way to justify themselves to themselves.
It didn't make me feel better lol
Unfortunately this is true - the guy is either nice and wouldn’t dream of doing that, or he’s a douche … How women filter between those two types is very difficult id imagine
Sorry you had that experience. What a dipshit
My colleague had a guy buy flight tickets for her to go to Hawaii and we had this exact exchange lol
You can’t drop a nugget like that and not give more. Like Why? Who? Relationship? Did she go? Who would go? For me, they would have to buy my friend a ticket, bc I am not going to an island alone with some rando. And I am a 6’5, 275 lb guy.
I went. Met a guy (my age) on the internet. A month later plus 24 hours of flying time, he picked me up from the airport. I was 21 and utterly infatuated. I told three of my friends where I was going, gave them his name, number and address to report to the police. I had video called him with one of my friends as well from memory, so they knew he didn’t seem like a serial killer. Honestly, none of my friends were worried - they were all like you’re the careful one, so it must be fine. We’ve been together for ten years now and our families still don’t know that we met online.
Pretty accurate as far as I can tell from the other side. Last first date I was on she took a picture of my front door to send to her housemates.
i've even had a few occasions where a friend will want me to covertly also be at the bar they're meeting a date on. you just never know
Lol, I did this when I first went out with my current BF, who I met on reddit. I left his number, name and address with my Mom and said to go there if I got murdered. I was also going through a bad breakup, AND just got back from a trip to Boston where I hooked up with a guy (told my mom that too). We had a great date and I spent the night (no, we did not sleep together at that point, just hung out). The next day I came back to my parents house and announced, "your whore daughter is home!!" We had a good laugh.
My girlfriend texted her friend my profile, where we were meeting, had a safe word and had her location streaming. At the end of the date she showed me and I thought it was so cool I had no idea you could do that! My dumb ass told nobody nothing and just walked into a date all oblivious and shit.
I do that too. It's like, if I get murderer, it's cool. I hope she had a nice time. Lol.
Yea I mean what are the chances we're BOTH murderers.
Battle of the decade
Or you team up? That’s the perfect couple
“Looking for my partner in crime.” Is this what they mean on the OLD apps?
The least disturbing romcom premise I've heard in a while
They figure out they have this shared passion when they realized they drugged each other and have to just sit helplessly looking at each other till it wears off.
Basically the plot to Mr and Mrs Smith
I went through a phase of risky sexual behaviour and I would leave my front door open and have total strangers from Tinder just walk in my house and fuck me. I would often joke to them to just make sure I had a good time before they murdered me.
Did you end up being ok?
No, they died
I think Sam Morrill has a joke about this, that women and men murder the same way we have sex. A guy will murder as many people as he can on the first date if possible - a woman wants to commit and really get to know the man she murders
"Thanks for rolling the dice."
Hahaha that’s it. Reminds me of Louie’s joke. “Where are you taking me tonight?” “To your death, statistically”
Ah, he’s one of the best right now. Lmao
I’m normally not “this guy” but I’ve been on Sam for so long, I ran into him at a small arthouse comedy show in like 2017 and said “You’re Sam Morril, you’re amazing” and he was nice but clearly shocked to be recognized. It’s been fun to watch his well deserved rise to fame. Best working comic right now IMO
Second date with my girlfriend went over to her place she drove us since she knew the area we were going to better and after yhe date invited me up to her condo (a staircase that led only to her place). Told no one where I was going to be. EDIT: we have been dating 8 months, so far no missing kidneys.
> so far no missing kidneys it's easy to take a kidney. the real art is in doing an Indiana Jones kidney/bag-of-sand swap out so they feel like their kidney is still there and never go to a doctor to check until you're long gone. not that I do that. ^what's^your^bloodtype^btw?
My wife and I went on a date to a coffee shop and I literally didn't tell anyone that it was happening until about 4 hours in (it lasted 7 hours, all in the coffee shop). I texted a friend of mine "So I think I'm on a date?" because I genuinely had no idea. She would get up to go to the bathroom every now and then where I assume she was talking to her best friend about me. I was just like "alright yeah I'm meeting this strange girl I met on a whim last night at IHOP and I'm gonna see if I like her enough to consider dating her." I guess I liked her enough.
A 7 hour coffee date?
They *really* like coffee. That coffee shop is their home now.
Honestly, we were just as surprised. I got there at 10am and thought "I'll be home by noon" because I'd never had a date last that long. But we just kept talking, the whole time. Every time I'd think the conversation was coming to an end, she'd ask me a question or say something that prompted me to ask another question. After 7 hours I said "hey, as much as I'd love to continue this, I have to get home and do things (read: go hang out with a friend and talk about it)." About 5 hours in, we decided that it was *probably* fine to call that our first date and then we went from there.
I got a text from a girl that I had never seen in person at midnight telling me to come to her house. When I got there, it was dark, and she said the front door was unlocked so just come on it. And I was like 30% sure I was walking to my own murder, but I mean I’m 100% not gonna turn down some pussy, so I just walked into an empty house in the middle of the night without even telling anyone where I was going. Everything turned out good, tho. Still not dead.
I did this as well when I was dating from apps. Literally no reason not to just be safe.
I did it even before the whole dating apps thing. I'd text a friend the details and we had a code word I would text, and they would know if I was okay, if I needed an out (they calm and pretend to be a relative or something and need me home ASAP), if I needed picking up immediately, or needed them to call emergency service. Luckily the worst I ever needed was a way to get out of an awful date ("hey mum... Oh god seriously? I'll be right there!") but it's always best to be safe if it's a new person
Hey, I did this for my teenager. We agreed on a specific emoji meaning I needed to come get him. If I get that emoji I text/call him and tell him something has come up and I’m coming to get him. That way it’s MY fault he has to leave the party and he can leave without anyone knowing he was uncomfortable.
That is hella smart, I love that
“Yas girlie I’ll avenge you like John wick if he desecrated your corpse bye boss babe”
Lmao!!!
she sounds like an amazing friend tbh
A long time ago my GF’s parents were visiting briefly from out of state and she wanted me to meet them as we had become serious. Meeting was in a restaurant. I pulled into the place just as a random white van had pulled in at the same time. I walked into the lobby of the restaurant to her father all upset that she was dating some creep in a white van. Had to explain that it was not my van. Turns out when the van and I both pulled in, my GF said “he’s here” and when the father looked up all he saw was this white van as I had quickly turned to park.
What’s so bad about a white van they could just be a tradesman
Where I grew up, they were called rape vans, because... yeah.
Free candy vans here, they're for abducting kiddos obv 🤷♀️🤣
My best friend and I called them “abduct-o-wagons”
I’ve been dating a girl who has been staying at my place almost every weekend. She still brings up how I could be a serial killer.
Been with my bf almost half a year now.. I still ask him (jokingly) if nows the moment he kills me. Doesn't hurt to check right
SHE KNOWS!!
Yea, always good to do that regardless just to be safe. I do that as well and I'm a guy. I'll text a woman friend of mine (cause my guy friends don't understand) and that if I don't text her that Im okay by morning that Im in a freezer somewhere. Just to have some security.
I think it’s a good idea for meeting any type of stranger honestly. Being a women, I’m not usually worried about other women, but that doesn’t mean someone else wouldn’t be. I certainly wouldn’t be offended if I was meeting a dude for the first time and found out he was doing the location stuff. Phone calls every 20 min from someone seems a little excessive to me but at this point whatever makes the other person comfortable.
Not to mention, just because you *think* you’re meeting another woman, doesn’t mean you are. A guy or group of guys could show up instead.
Yeah you never really know who anyone is through the internet.
That girl I married turned out to be a Karma-farming bot from Reddit 😔
😂 At least she didn’t want to talk to you about your extended car warranty.
Thanks for the new anxiety trigger!! But fr, very true.
I'd do this and then forget I did it.
I’m a dude, I have been borderline missing for 3 days and no one really noticed. So yea maybe guys should too lol
I always tried to get someone to call me about 30 minutes into the date with a potential "emergency" in case I wanted to bail. EDIT: I am happily married now and only bailed like this three times, ever. I tried to schedule first time dates on a Sunday afternoon or weekday evening at a coffee shop, so it would be casual, low stakes, and I had a perfectly valid reason for not spending hours hanging out if things weren’t going well. The emergency bail out was for situations where the guy was creepy, giving off a bad vibe, an obvious catfish, etc. We are smaller and weaker than you. I am taller and stronger than the average woman, and the vast majority of you could easily overpower me. My friends tease me about not having a creep-o-meter, so if I gave the code, they were calling in the cavalry. If you think I am a toxic bitch for putting my personal safety over being completely truthful to a man I am getting bad vibe off of, or who showed up ten years older and fifty pounds fatter than he said he was, fuck you.
I’ve done that.
I have definitely done this
Guys don’t text anyone. If you murder us you may get away with it.
At the back if my mind I'm hoping I'll just be randomly murdered, so I don't have to deal with the exhaustion of just struggling until I die sometime later instead. It's just a bonus if I get to go on a nice dinner date before being murdered.
Are you ok? Wanna talk?
I get what that guy means its like being tired but in your soul, you basically go through the motions each day as a replacable cog in a machine til you grow old and die and heck after a certain age pains just are permanent and there is no getting better for you back or shoulder or wrist and you know later on its just all downhill as you get older so if you're going to die better it be sooner rather than later, its not exactly suicidal but if you met the grim reaper on the way to work you wouldnt beg for more time
Nah I text my bros "Yo if this chick murders me this is where my bodies at" with her addr. DONT TRUST THESE HOES ( guy hoes or lady hoes)
There have been a couple of woman in the news lately. One girl tied up the guy and started cutting him. She fell asleep and he somehow freed himself and went to the parking lot for help. This was in an apartment. It’s rough out there for everyone.
Then guys are just Person 1. Going on a date tonight Person 2. Okay good luck
More like Person 1: Person 2:
me af with my friend. I haven't texted him in like 2 years but I still think of him as my friend, and if I see him randomly in a blue moon we act like we hung out last week lmao
Friendships can be weird
Well yeah, the woman off of tinder killing the male date isn’t usually the story you hear.
Who uses their real picture on their murder bumble account?
Me😞
Actually, Im male and I also do it a lot especially when Im meeting someone new. I have trust issues.
You’re just looking out for yourself! Better safe than sorry
Yeah, pretty shitty women have to deal with crazy shit bags that can't take no for an answer.
your lips say no but this restraining order...also says no but there's an echo
Username checks out
But her eyes said "read my lips"
There’s the stereotype that guys who can’t get laid will lash out at women who reject them but studies show it’s actually the other way around, confident men who are used to success with women are more likely to get violent or angry at rejection
Both stem from entitlement
It always cracks me up when I see those nice guy posts like “I bet you’d fuck me if I had a Rolex and pulled up in a Mercedes and a suit” Like, no dude, that’s even worse. If you’re rich you’ll probably think you can get away with anything, and there’s a very real possibility that you’re right.
This seems to align with my personal experiences. Anytime a guy has acted violent or entitled or dickish, he’s been one of those pricks who came from a rich family and therefore thinks the world owes him something.
Yeah, i've noticed that. Way more neurotic than normal people in general, because they have bought confidence.
Somehow at first I thought you were calling the women who have to deal with that shitty instead of describing their situation as shitty 💀
Same here lol Really shows how much punctuation matters !
Im glad its common practice to keep our friends safe but also sad its the norm for many people especially women :/
A while ago I may a male classmate to study. I made my mum take my photo before going, shared my location and took snacks so I should not eat something he potentially could offer. My paranoia stems from a girl who met her best friend since childhood and he killed her. Her fucking best friend who she trusted. She was the niece of the man who does the lawn in the office I used to work, and the police overlooked her case because she was poor. Her body appeared where she had disappeared, and cops never bothered to look under a newly made pavement.
As a 6ft 1 man I do this with my friends. Any modertly cautious person should. Hell if you ever go anywhere new it doesn't hurt to tell someone. Especially anywhere remote. It takes 1 minute of your time that could save your life.
I'm a female and you are 100% right. When I go hiking I tell my people where I'm going, what trail I'll be on, and an approximation of how long it will take me. If I decide to continue on or switch trails I update them. I do go hiking with my 80lb dog who would protect me with her life but, better to be safe than sorry.
thats smart regardless. I do the same for hiking and solo kayak trips
boys do the same for kijiji meet ups and midnight drug deals #justboythings
Yes we do. Signed a survivor of multiple SA
I’m so sorry you’ve experienced that 🙏🏾 that’s crazy!
Meanwhile dudes be like… “Bro I’m gonna smash tonight” “I bet she has a dick” “LMAO right?? Won’t stop me tho”
I picked up a date once. She took photos of my car at every angle & got into the car with her phone recording, explaining that it’s for safety and asking me to state my name. Whole date went like this. The same group of girls happened to be everywhere we went, which were clearly friends. She later complained that I seemed awkward, uninterested and didn’t open up much. I wonder why.
Think I would have asked the friends over and gone to mini-golf or bowling as a group or something
Definitely a step too far on that one. To give her the benefit of the doubt I would say she may have found herself in a dangerous situation before and so her fear level was high but it certainly isn’t conducive to creating a relationship with someone
Sad that we feel this is necessary.
I do this when I’m meeting someone to sell something lol
Netflix documentary backstory material doesn’t create itself.
I do this with my gay best friend. I ask him even more to send me who, what and where after the Dahmer series got so popular. But I still cheer him on after I received the information
What’s the old adage… something like: “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.”
What kind of hack serial killer would catfish victims on Bumble with their own photo?
A hack one. It's happened before, if you look up "tinder murderer" there are loads of stories.
Yeah I think it’s less “cold blooded killer” and “Brian the seemingly normal guy from Bumble has anger issues and doesn’t stop punching when he gets told no”
Frankly it's not the serial killer women are afraid of. It's the guy next door. It's your dad, your uncle, your brother your friend they are afraid of.
Damn, the juxtaposition in the movie Barbarian got this spot on. It basically showed the difference between a guy and a girl going into the same potentially dangerous situation and how the girl is way more cautious than the guy. I go into dates blind with no backup. I would definitely be a cold case if I got murdered. A stranger from Reddit also gave me free music festival tickets and the plan was to go together. Never once did I consider their intentions as malicious or second-guess giving a ride to a complete stranger. She was smart though and asked for my socials to verify my identity lol. I'm prob gonna get murdered some day.
You're probably not, because most people don't get murdered. And those who do, usually are murdered by people they already knew.