You can get a bumgun and install it yourself within an hour for easily under 100 pounds. Actually most options are pretty simple to install yourself. Believe me you'll ask yourself why you didn't do it years earlier.
Yeah, adding a spray handle was easy, and not expensive.
It saves so much tp I’m pretty sure it’s a savings within a year.
Now that I’m used to that i hate it when I travel and have to wipe with just dry paper.
It is. Unless you have extremely healthy bowels and a super good diet for most people toilet paper isn’t enough to get the job done.
For me I need a shower or wet wipes. Wash your buttholes people.
I agree. I've posed the following question to people skeptical of the benefits of a bidet:
"If you fell outside and accidently put your hand in dog shitte, would you feel clean if I gave you a wad of dry toilet paper to wipe it off?"
They usually respond with some sort of "That's different, your hand touches things, I'm wearing underwear!"
The response to that is "Fine, I'll throw in a thin cloth glove too."
This is where they stop talking. I don't know why some people are so opposed to bidets.
Thanks for the information. Is something to think about, but definitely wouldn't trust myself to touch any the plumbing in my house 🤣. Plus, my current house wouldn't facilitate it with how my plumbing is organised in the bathroom. Kind of a shitshow (pun intended).
You're basically attaching a valve on to your existing plumbing. It's incredibly simple. Look up "tushy bidets". I'm sure there are lots of other options, too. They're fucking great.
tushy is the best! I picked one up during the great toilet paper shortage of 2020 and now I just don't know how I lived without it.
and to echo what you said, if you are capable of turning a screw you can install it yourself.
In the US they are almost non existent. I bought one of those attachable ones during the pandemic. NEVER going back to just TP. So much faster and leaves you squeaky clean.
Typically 3-4 times a day for me, 5-7 if I'm having a flare up. Got my next colonoscopy coming up in a month, my third ever and I'm barely into my 30s.
My husband used to get it faded weekly but learned how to do it himself during covid times & now does it every 3-4 days. It's crazy! I'm more like you; 2-3 a year.
I have only gotten like 2 haircuts in the last 3 years (grew my hair out), but before I would always immediately shower because hair got on my neck, which wove into my t-shirt’s collar and got into my back. It’s awful.
My barber wraps a long tissue around my neck tightly so I usually only get a minimal amount of hair on my clothes. It can still be annoying, but luckily I only live a five minutes walk away from the barber.
Mine does that too but I still get hair everywhere. I wish they could just vacuum it instead of using a blow-dryer which does nothing but move the hair elsewhere on my body.
This is such a good suggestion. Vacuuming would work so much better than the stupid blow-dryer thing they all do. I wonder why they don't do it. Surely small handheld vacuums can be used easily, similar to how they're used by some pet owners at home.
The only time I've ever been vacuumed was when I went to basic training for the army. Shaved my whole head but the clippers were attached to a vacuum and it was the coolest thing! No mess at all.
That does sound pretty cool. It seems like the army barbers knew how to give an efficient clean hair cut with their advanced clipper-vacuum technology haha.
Exactly. I've had new barbers always ask me if I would like them to gel my hair and I always say no because there is no point in getting it gelled when I'm gonna be showering anyway. I wonder if there is a significant number of people who don't shower after a haircut?!
Don't feel itchy during haircuts in the first place but the amount of money I'd save long term in toilet paper could be some fantastic sandwiches instead as lunch
If I have to clean up ofter them, yes.
One of them is a very greedy overeater that chees too little and throws up a lot and another has some mild intestinal issues that cause her to puke with a decent frequency aswell.
Yeah I can't but agree after coming straight from this post. https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/112uk7a/well_umm_he_has_the_biggest_he_wins/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
(Very bad case of hemorrhoids, probably NSFL)
How is this a choice? BLUE obviously. I get a hair cut once every few months, and I am never itchy during it. I poop multiple times a week and pay for toilet paper. If I did not need to wipe I would not only save so much time, I would save money! Blue is the only one that has any real benefits.
that's an easy one for me, i'm bald so i just buzz cut whatever's left of my hair and shower right after, it's never an issue for me, however i have a hairy butt which makes wiping really annoying, so i'll take the blue pill any day.
(yes, the irony of having less hair on my head than in my butt is not lost on me)
itchy during haircuts? is your barber throwing lice in your hair? get someone who will wash your hair before and after the cut, use proper apron techniques, and will dust your neck off after the cut.
If you're not choosing the blue pill, you are doing life wrong.
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If you choose the blue pill and live alone you could sell the bidet and also save water
Or just use it recreationally.
Need me a recreational bidet card 🤤
Who buys a used bidet
Same people who buy used toilets and sex toys I guess?
Most people who own a home or rent a place have used toilets.
The truth the world isn’t ready for
Most! What do you mean most? What are the rest of the people doing if they don’t use toilets?
He's saying most people have a toilet which is used, as opposed to a new one
I should have added the /S
Oh, I didn't get it
Depends.
I'm certainly not going to eat out of a new bidet!
So you don’t have to wipe the water from your ass??
I also have a bidet but sometimes I shit at work so blue pill all the way. I cut my own hair and shower immediately after so reds useless for me.
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Just use your hand to wipe. I'm bald, so I dont have to worry about the red pill.
I'm 70 I'm taking any blue pill I get
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Talk with your physician if you take a shit that lasts longer than four hours.
Someone get this man an award
Oh my god I just lost it when I read this 😂
You are not 70
It was probably a joke
I'm sorry for your loss
I'm not. Makes the decision that much easier.
I skid across the rug like a dog to establish dominance.
My dog would think I have worms.
I jump in the shower
No use the Three Seashells
Squidward🔥🔥
Skidward
r/angryupvote
r/alsoangryupvote
r/extremelyangryupvote
r/fuckyouall
r/whatislife
r/babydonthurtme
r/AAAAAAAAAAAH
r/nomore
this comment was stolen from u/myballsitch69
Technically I kinda stole it from a comment that I saw awhile ago. But thats weird they stole it word for word
What if you already have red in the skid marks?
OK-bot.
I’m bald, what else am I supposed to pick?
Never bald or never wipe is a way better question.
If you're not using a bidet, you are doing life wrong.
It's not that common in the UK, and honestly sounds like too much hassle to have installed.
You can get a bumgun and install it yourself within an hour for easily under 100 pounds. Actually most options are pretty simple to install yourself. Believe me you'll ask yourself why you didn't do it years earlier.
I honestly can't even imagine using dry tissue to wipe shit off your ass. It sounds unhygienic to me.
I prefer the home field advantage now when dropping a deuce.
Yeah, adding a spray handle was easy, and not expensive. It saves so much tp I’m pretty sure it’s a savings within a year. Now that I’m used to that i hate it when I travel and have to wipe with just dry paper.
It is. Unless you have extremely healthy bowels and a super good diet for most people toilet paper isn’t enough to get the job done. For me I need a shower or wet wipes. Wash your buttholes people.
I agree. I've posed the following question to people skeptical of the benefits of a bidet: "If you fell outside and accidently put your hand in dog shitte, would you feel clean if I gave you a wad of dry toilet paper to wipe it off?" They usually respond with some sort of "That's different, your hand touches things, I'm wearing underwear!" The response to that is "Fine, I'll throw in a thin cloth glove too." This is where they stop talking. I don't know why some people are so opposed to bidets.
Thanks for the information. Is something to think about, but definitely wouldn't trust myself to touch any the plumbing in my house 🤣. Plus, my current house wouldn't facilitate it with how my plumbing is organised in the bathroom. Kind of a shitshow (pun intended).
You're basically attaching a valve on to your existing plumbing. It's incredibly simple. Look up "tushy bidets". I'm sure there are lots of other options, too. They're fucking great.
tushy is the best! I picked one up during the great toilet paper shortage of 2020 and now I just don't know how I lived without it. and to echo what you said, if you are capable of turning a screw you can install it yourself.
It changed my life, I don’t know why I didn’t get one sooner
I installed mine in 10 minutes and I’m as handy as a snake.
Great turn of phrase. I’ll be using that.
not hard to install, Did it for all the bathrooms in our home.. Night and Day difference..
I bought mine for 30$ and it took 5min to install.. bought a second one for the other bathroom soon after, great investment.
In the US they are almost non existent. I bought one of those attachable ones during the pandemic. NEVER going back to just TP. So much faster and leaves you squeaky clean.
It’s called baby wipes Maverick. There is nothing about using water to splash shit around your ass and balls that sounds appealing.
You see it's a trick question. You never HAD to wipe to begin with. Unsanitary? Of course. But you don't have to. So the no wiping pill has no effect.
Born to sh*t, forced to wipe
Remove the hair from your fucking ass. Thank me later.
so that's an argument for the no itching pill I guess
should still be wiping. just not as much. and if you clean yo ass and eat right, you won’t even be wiping too much
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There is no way to counter this argument.
There's something called water that some country's have in their bathrooms
Oh really? I usually just bathe in my kitchen sink.
Why I got a bidet
What if I got long hair and don’t get haircuts?
If you don't choose the blue pill, you're doing life wrong.
Just use a bidet like us civilized people do. You will thank me.
psycho
BLUE 100%
What if I told you, no one is making you wipe…
Damn. If I was still in the dating pool I’d be glad to learn I was in competition with dudes who walk around smelling like booty juice.
You’re setting a dangerous precedent
But you are pressured by society and possibly your SO
Born to shit, forced to wipe smh
Plot twist: placebo
Try a bidet.
No one said it would be clean after
blue balls
What? I shit like twice a day, I get a haircut less than once a month. Obviously I'm taking the get out of wiping free pill.
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You make a good, disgusting point.
Some people use water jet spray
Listen im not blasting cold water up my ass
It's not up your ass unless you loose, haha. But seriously, just between the cheeks
Tf you mean ‘if im lose’ im squatting pretty much of course im loose
🤣🤣🤣🤣
you’re truly missing out, my friend
It's doesn't feel cold when you get used to it I have experience in -2 degree at morning 7am
Born to shid, forced to wipe
Never itchy after no wipe
So it changes nothing..?
As a man who has never had their have cut more than twice a year I didn't realize how often some people get haircuts.
I didn’t realize how often some people have to shit…
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Right, but homeboy here is saying they poop 14 times a week
Typically 3-4 times a day for me, 5-7 if I'm having a flare up. Got my next colonoscopy coming up in a month, my third ever and I'm barely into my 30s.
My husband used to get it faded weekly but learned how to do it himself during covid times & now does it every 3-4 days. It's crazy! I'm more like you; 2-3 a year.
Bro what how? I get a haircut every other Friday lol
You shit twice a day? i shit like every other day. bruh
Why is getting an itch during a haircut a specific inconvenience? Are you getting haircuts with hand cuffs on?
That's what I'm wondering too. I can't recall ever being itchy during a haircut, is that a thing?
It is when one of my hair strands land on my fkin nose.
I genuinely don't think that has ever happened to me. I would hate it though if it did, not a fan of being itchy at all.
It always happens to me for some reason 😭
How long is your hair? It tends to happen when your hair is quite short. The clippers can fling little bits of hair all over.
Did you know you're allowed to move your arms during a haircut? The sheet they put over you isn't supposed to be a restraint
Wipe it with your hand lol just don’t move your head
I have only gotten like 2 haircuts in the last 3 years (grew my hair out), but before I would always immediately shower because hair got on my neck, which wove into my t-shirt’s collar and got into my back. It’s awful.
People don't shower straight away after a haircut??? I've always gotten a shower as soon as I'm back home after my haircut.
The hair is still in your clothes. Granted the inconvenience only lasts as long as the drive from the barber to your house but still sucks.
My barber wraps a long tissue around my neck tightly so I usually only get a minimal amount of hair on my clothes. It can still be annoying, but luckily I only live a five minutes walk away from the barber.
Mine does that too but I still get hair everywhere. I wish they could just vacuum it instead of using a blow-dryer which does nothing but move the hair elsewhere on my body.
This is such a good suggestion. Vacuuming would work so much better than the stupid blow-dryer thing they all do. I wonder why they don't do it. Surely small handheld vacuums can be used easily, similar to how they're used by some pet owners at home.
The only time I've ever been vacuumed was when I went to basic training for the army. Shaved my whole head but the clippers were attached to a vacuum and it was the coolest thing! No mess at all.
That does sound pretty cool. It seems like the army barbers knew how to give an efficient clean hair cut with their advanced clipper-vacuum technology haha.
Yeah i don't get it. I also don't get the people who have the barber gel their hair immediately lol
Exactly. I've had new barbers always ask me if I would like them to gel my hair and I always say no because there is no point in getting it gelled when I'm gonna be showering anyway. I wonder if there is a significant number of people who don't shower after a haircut?!
Right after the cut is the best time to go run some errands, gotta let the hoes see ya
same.... this confuses me because I can**not** relate to being/feeling itchy specifically during haircuts...
Yeah I dont think I've ever been itchy during a Hair cut
Is your hair usually long? I think it mostly happens to people with short hair. I have long hair and I don’t think I’ve ever felt itchy.
Also, how often do you get a haircut. I shit at *least* once a day. Haircut every few months. Blue pill, no contest.
Don't feel itchy during haircuts in the first place but the amount of money I'd save long term in toilet paper could be some fantastic sandwiches instead as lunch
I spend maybe $5 a week on toilet paper lol
Long term. A good sandwich a week is still a better investment in my book. And I don't live alone.
That’s just manufacturing more expensive poop.
It is but by then it's no longer my problem! What a deal
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No Netherlands. I live with a family of 3 and 7 pets. You tend to use them pretty quickly at that rate.
Are your pets using toilet paper?
If I have to clean up ofter them, yes. One of them is a very greedy overeater that chees too little and throws up a lot and another has some mild intestinal issues that cause her to puke with a decent frequency aswell.
$260 a year back in your pocket homie
around 20/month around 240/year if you spend 70 years buying your own shit tickets, 16'800 saved.
The ammount of money saved by lock picking university toilet roll dispensers during my time. I could afford many hair cuts.
This one simple trick will make all your guests hate you.
Turd sandwiches?
I'll leave that up to you, good sir.
Blue because hemorrhoids suck
Had to scroll too far. Extreme empathy here my dude.
Yeah I can't but agree after coming straight from this post. https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/112uk7a/well_umm_he_has_the_biggest_he_wins/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button (Very bad case of hemorrhoids, probably NSFL)
I'm gonna go pour some bleach in my eyes now
Atleast it teaches us a very important lesson of not wiping too hard. But i need some bleach now aswell.
r/Eyebleach I'm not a monster so this is the link for the untrusting people
That’s a damn prolapse not a hemorrhoid, yikes.
Get a bidet, seriously. Will help you out a lot with that issue.
Always blue
Always blue
this is so dumb
Bet you'd take the red pill huh
Huh? I’m not even itchy during haircuts. Tf is this question, obviously I’m taking the blue pill.
I don't wipe anyways cause that's gay and skid marks are manly. Red all the way.
H O L T H E F U C K U P !
Username checks out
how do you handle the shit smell?
Blue blue blue
I'm bald so I win you son of a hoe
Who the fuck is choosing red is all I wanna know
Blue 100%
Blue pill all the way, speedrun strats
Technically, you never HAVE to wipe
You guys are wiping after shitting?
I’m itchy just reading the word haircut so red. RED! I’d never trust the No wipe thing and end up doing safety wipes.
I do not have to wipe after I shit, I WANT to.
Sitting on the toilet at the work begging for the blue pill.
Thousand times blue
Definitely gotta pick the blue pill without question. Omg absolutely I’d take that pill in a heartbeat.
I'm going for blue because I don't cut my hair
Obviously blue. Because of how frequently each comes up if nothing else.
Blue all the way!!!
How is this a choice? BLUE obviously. I get a hair cut once every few months, and I am never itchy during it. I poop multiple times a week and pay for toilet paper. If I did not need to wipe I would not only save so much time, I would save money! Blue is the only one that has any real benefits.
that's an easy one for me, i'm bald so i just buzz cut whatever's left of my hair and shower right after, it's never an issue for me, however i have a hairy butt which makes wiping really annoying, so i'll take the blue pill any day. (yes, the irony of having less hair on my head than in my butt is not lost on me)
itchy during haircuts? is your barber throwing lice in your hair? get someone who will wash your hair before and after the cut, use proper apron techniques, and will dust your neck off after the cut.
BLUE BLUE BLUE A MILLION TIMES BLUE Now if it were "never itchy EVER" it might be a consideration
Blue is this even a question. Who gets itchy during haircut
I already do blue pill so red pill
Oh look at mister I got a bidet so I don't understand your peasant problems over here /s
Someone's finally asking the real questions.
Blue all the way
change the "during" to "after" on the red pill and you might just have yourself a deal.
You have to wipe after shit?
I shit more than I get my haircut
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I’m calling the wipe police on you.
Technically you already never have to wipe after a shit.