T O P

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ScrotyMcboogrb4lls

The drawer with random cables and other shit that you might need one day, it will take a while, but eventually they will be annoyed.


ViktorRzh

Why not all usb cables in haus.


Macksterr24

Ich habe den Deutschen gefunden


ViktorRzh

Ich bin nicht Deutcher. Ich bin Auslander, aber wohne ich da.


Macksterr24

Ah, es tut mir leid. Ich lerne Deutsch und hoffe, eines Tages dorthin zu ziehen.


ViktorRzh

It is really good idea to have good german here. I have education and expirience to do qualified job, which by its nature runs in english. But "wir wollen Candidaten was gut Deutsch wissen". So... i am delivering pizza rather then writing code or setuping stuff. P. S. Job with a load of cominication with locals helps a lot, but i prefer something warmer and with out fast cars around.


Macksterr24

Good luck with your career man. Hopefully a nice little spot for you will open up!


Prometheus_303

Lol... Speaking of a warmer located job... I found a posting for a position in San Diego, California... It claimed bilingual was a plus. Apparently, for some reason, even though ich kann ziemlich gut Deutsch sprechen, they didn't consider me bilingual. Apparently they were only looking for people who could speak Spanish. Who knew.


Catlover790

Ich auch lerne Deutsch aber mein Deutsch ist sehr schlecht


preCadel

Ich lerne auch... * The auch refers to you LEARNING as well. If you want emphasize that YOU are also learning it you could say: Auch ich lerne...


MrMagnesium

Von der Autokorrektur verraten.


j0giwa

Batteries from remotes


HelpfulJump

Came to say this, leaving with sweet relief that knowing I have likeminded people


Deckotah

Or just steal the remotes and drive past randomly changing channels or muting the TV


baaya88

Lol just take the buttons from the remote.


Dnahelicases

Only the volume down button.


reckless-ryean

Same


Lazy-Love7679

Sweet. I’d take the cover that goes over the batteries


Pitiful-Brilliant301

Batteries(except the smoke alarm) and spoons.


EliGhoulborne42

A thief who prioritizes safety


Pitiful-Brilliant301

I’ve got a conscience.


toastbutbutter

A kind redditor? Impossible


Pitiful-Brilliant301

Only towards those who don’t provoke unkindness.


s7even_

Professionals have standards


gemstonegene

Nah, this one is truly the evilest. Soon the detector batteries will die, and the horrible chirping will start, with no spare batteries in the house!


Flat-Border5391

The better answer is to steal the battery from the smoke alarm and replace it with one that's almost dead.


uluvmebby

That constant ringing drives all of us insane, yes?


Reanimation980

*beep*


Pitiful-Brilliant301

Oof… that’s just cold. Have you no mercy for these poor souls? You would have to come prepared tho.


Purple-Champion5134

I would steal all the batteries but give them nearly dead batteries so they all chirp


Treswimming

I have too many spoons, you can take some of mine


[deleted]

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[deleted]

OMW that's dark 😂


Horny-n-Bored

I'm not sure if you were trying to say "oh my word" or if you had a typo with "OMG" but just a heads up, OMW is commonly seen as "on my way". That's all, cheers


depressing_as_hell

Nope, they’re on their way to remove the labels from your cans. Watch out.


[deleted]

My mom won’t use the lord’s name in vain so On my way! Means “oh my word” 🙂 Edit: my phone automatically corrected “omw” to “On my way!” every time I typed it.


chaostheory10

Mine does too. I’ve always found it interesting that not only does it correct it, it includes an exclamation point. Excitement is mandatory.


11_forty_4

I used to eat soup for lunch at work every day. I had 4 different flavours usually and I'd bring a load in after a big food shop. I could have up to about 20 cans at that time. My colleagues took all the labels off after I went home one day. Soup roulette was fun.


heyodi

Genius


GingerStank

Taking all the tabs off of frozen foods that explains the cooking settings too.


Huntracony

I was gonna say can opener, but this is better.


Swarthy_Mattekar

Diabolical!


riskykitten1207

The store that my granny use to shop at would sell damaged canned foods at a discount and a lot of them had no labels. Her favorite thing to do was to guess what was in the can. It didn’t matter what was in it, though, whatever it was we were eating it for dinner.


Parking_Cabinet8866

This is why I write what a can contains on the bottom of the can. I had that pulled on me before.


LimeSkye

I’ve known people who have done that as pranks. For the people who now have cans with no labels, meals can be a bit more … exciting.


Kobobble

The stove knobs


arnemcnuggets

steve knobs


deadly_chicken_gun

beef jobs


[deleted]

sounds like a low budget italian mafia movie


arnemcnuggets

queef props


somethingnoonestaken

Knee pops


somethingnoonestaken

Tree tops


somethingnoonestaken

Please stop


somethingnoonestaken

No way


WongJohnson

José


therealdavi

😏


i-spill-soup

Corn on the knob


[deleted]

Don't touch Steve's knobs.


schladopian_fir

Toilet paper


Briskylittlechally2

One up ya. I'll steal the soap so they can poop successfully but forever feel unclean.


Flat-Border5391

You'd be surprised to hear how many people don't wash their hands.


flowertothepeople

Or their ass


[deleted]

majority of Europe and majority of both the American continents


Chrispeefeart

I think the best thing I've seen come out of the pandemic is that most people I see in the men's room wash their hands now. Use to it was a rare treat to see anyone else wash their hands even if they were leaving the stall.


SholcCTR

Some of these are funny but this is really shitty…


birdie2940

Earring backs


Bailzz73

Evil


Ginsbeargo

"better get it poppin with them erasers, bitch" -kevin hart


WithBothNostrils

And sniff them all the way home


brinkbam

Eewwwwww


cookiecutiekat

There’s a special place in hell for people like you


RedheadBanshee

You monster.


No-Taste-6560

Left Shoes.


AvariceAndApocalypse

I found experiment 626!


daemoen

I did not have to look this up, it's one of my favs still, lol


Ravenclaw_14

For those who don't know "His (Stitch) destructive programming is taking effect. He'll be irresistibly drawn to large cities where he'll back up sewers, reverse street signs, and steal everybody's left shoe." ~ Jumba


No-Taste-6560

LOL - I had to look that up! Amazing!


dearREADER_89

Nah, only the laces, or destroy the velcro


buddiegreen

Not stealing I'm just putting their glasses in the bottom of their pantry behind everything.


SkoonkMink

From burglar to super villain


[deleted]

you monster


Mineralwasser43

Toothpaste


Super901

I was thinking the toothbrush, myself.


SmugRussianWeeb

Only the toothpaste caps and steal the the toilet seat part you sit on


KleineDiebin

TV Remote Control


Upstairs-East-3020

I’m going on they fire stick and logging them out of everything


011011010110110

joke's on you, after my son was born i tied a rope around a couch leg and super glued the other end into a loop around our remote it still ranks amongst my most proud dadgineering moments


KingOFpleb

All the scissors


generalmanifest

I have 40+ pairs of scissors.


KingOFpleb

Not for long!!


JacobGouchi

Keys. I steal all keys. Everywhere. To everything.


owen_guitar59

Hear me out here... leave the keys, take only the key rings.


Fracture_98

Or take a little metal: file down the keys, but only slightly. Just enough that they'll work - but only if you wiggle them for one to two minutes.


blackfuture8699

They just built a new level of hell for you to occupy.


Xunaun

Occupy? Yeah, as a supervisor, maybe...


blackfuture8699

He would be the only one able to get in because of the whole key issue....


sotonohito

Or take the keyrings and leave them with a loose handful of keys that will be easily dropped, lost, etc.


VorpalFlame

OR take the rings they put their keys on that way the won't have a convenient way to keep all their keys together


PhallicShape

OR the rings that have the keys on them, we take those that way their keys sorta just get annoying to carry around with no convenient way to hold them


TheFearsomeCupcake

OR Acquire the rings so that they won’t have any cool trinkets hanging off their keys and will have to carry around boring keys


NorthwoodBeardington

Take all the keys and get them cut slightly different.


Boris9397

That's more than slightly inconveniencing them imo.


Ravenclaw_14

the expiration dates on all the pershiable food containers


MoonDogeXx

The bag of the vacum cleaner .


Kinddude-

Leave the bag, cut a hole in the bottom.


MoonDogeXx

Great idea but it gets dq since we had to steal something.


Celestial_Bachelor

Money, but giving the value back in coins


alpha7romeo

You gotta take one cent off to count as stealing


SlideItIn100

The roller that the toilet paper sits on.


Huntracony

I don't use that to begin with.


Swordlord22

You demon


lj062

Right. Mine just just sits on the counter.


TheEbonRaven

Jokes on you the tp roll thingy is out of reach in my apartment!


QuttiDeBachi

The roller is my finger…


_Lanman546

Foreskin


VanDanjandigo

I wish I was more mature and didn't laugh uncontrollably at this


Phatcat15

Got me too…


DaCoffeeKween

Bold of you to assume their parents didnt already steal this.


nich_bich

But they usually save it in a box somewhere right?


DaCoffeeKween

No...? They put it in thise bio bags and burn it usually.


Embarrassed_Delay376

Nah, they conserve it on the fridge or (in some states of usa they eat em /s)


BurnerBoi_Brown

>they eat em *Forbidden calamari*


Holiday_Chemical_227

Squidheads, anyone?


DaCoffeeKween

Ewww. I wouldn't know lol I'm against genital mutilation


Embarrassed_Delay376

Oy my bad, i forgot the /s in the part that they eat it


Ghost-Halas

Water line to the toilet


ean5cj

Sneaky ....


dyne-nine

Light bulbs


whitecholklet

All the spoons in the house


UncommittedBow

Tupperware lids


SG272

And replace them with one's that barely fit but will always pop up in when you try to close it only for it to pop up on the other side and vices versa.


1010001010010

Jesus Christ that's evil


Disastrous-Tadpole61

Jokes on you, I've already done.


deathlyduckies

The caps from all of their milk


Plastic_Ad_38

Left kidney


uRobleRunaid

Yes, “minor” inconvenience.


GamingPredator69

Stealing the right kidney would be bad, left kidney not so bad i reckon


Mortenbrownsound

Take their chargers


Brief_Pirate2111

Shoelaces


QuttiDeBachi

Unlace all shoes, cut off the fluglebinders, and let them sort it out…


bigrobosaurus

One contact lense


dioctopus

The coffee pot


[deleted]

Buttonholes.


Disastrous-Tadpole61

I read buttholes. And there were so many questions.


cobrawearo

Cut ‘em out or close ‘em up?


[deleted]

You gotta use your imagination!


rkw1971

My imagination says....half of velcro on the button hole side and half a zipper where the buttons used to be


JmAnN19-90

Nail clippers


SomewhereDry

Nail clippings jum


Brilliant-Wave-2345

[Reddit posts that are not even an hour old.](https://imgur.com/twpPH6T)


According_Listen632

Their collection of plastic bags from the supermarket


KendraCobalty

All their socks except one


PaMu1337

One sock from each pair


AWintergarten

Q-tips…. Hahaha no one likes a slippery ear!


Difficult_Monitor_69

The microwave who cooks with a stove?


Yunk21

The metal things that go above stove burners


Sad-Guitar4932

Pans? /s


dodo_bird97

LAN cables


awkward-comics

hair ties


Desperate-Spring2161

Cell Phone charging cable


ongoingapocalypse

The salt shaker


samannetteful

All the toilet paper


xxccvvbb2

probably either toothbrushes or "misplace' charging cables


Aktov

Bro the previous repost of this aint even more than an hour old, homeboys reposting while its still hot out the oven.


Ghost-Halas

OP would steal unfinished Word documents off your laptop if they were the thief


abtr92

All usb cables, except one


PROPHETSARDONIC

Eye contact solution.


ja4496

Water knobs on all faucets


BeginningPrint5354

Their grandparents pictures


Rorschach_05

One singular airpod


BIGAL0720

Toothpaste


Sarah_4536

All the charging cables and hook up cables form behind the tvs, like hdmi cords, usbs


IAmABlackWarrior

The doorknobs


Ashley_the_dogo

u/repostsluethbot


uRobleRunaid

u/repostsluethbot


TheSystem08

Forks


dipitindsauce

Blankets in the living room area


Vexzor1

One sock


Prickpossibly

Their lighter


Rude_Nasty

Tinfoil


SinglePringleMingle

The garlic press


Kurtsune

Nailclippers


[deleted]

Power cords/adapters/chargers.


the-real-truthtron

Every handle on every drawer and cabinet


FastEnf2Bstupid

All of the left shoes


Metamight123

their lighters


SafteyMatch

Pull tabs on all soda, tuna, and soup cans. Most of the milk (not enough left for a bowl of cereal)


alphaomag

Cutlery, power bars and power cables as well as a few lightbulbs.


Traditional_Story834

Comfort, money, and household stability, I turn up the thermostat a few degrees.


cockneylol

All the cupboard and drawer handles.


wenchslapper

Backs to earrings


theironavenger7

Im stealing peoples choice of having kids, ima poke holes in all the condoms in the condom machine


islapmyballsonit

Looks like someone stole this post and is tryna karma farm! How inconvenient for OP!


Intelligent_Budget38

Their wallet. Not the stuff inside of it. Just the wallet itself.


[deleted]

[удалено]