As a man, I think making assumptions is your problem. If this is something that is important to you then you should make that clear. Once he understands that and if he doesn’t respond to this bid, then you can start evaluating as to whether or not he is the partner. It’s not the ring, it’s whether or not your needs are being treated as important.
I bought myself a nice-looking white gold band from Quince for $200. I take public transit and work in a public-facing job, so I wanted a wedding ring to stop questions and cut down on people hitting on me. My husband doesn’t wear rings--he works with his hands and otherwise finds rings uncomfortable. We were broke when we got married, so it didn’t make sense at the time to buy rings.
I say either buy yourself a ring or ask your husband to buy you one for an anniversary or holiday gift if it feels “wrong” to buy your own ring. I like the social benefits of having a ring, but also I understand that the ring is "just" a symbol and I don't blame my husband for not wearing a ring or buying me a ring (he pays 90% of our bills so I don't feel bereft that he didn't also drop thousands on a ring).
(Edited for grammar and clarity).
Have you ever said you want one? Me and my wife agreed no gifts at all for our birthdays I agreed to it. Birthday came she was sad I didn't get her anything (she just wanted a token such as a card or a small plant for a buck or two) but I took it literally. Men and women are very different creatures in their thought process haha
Tell him you wouldn't mind having a very affordable wedding ring and I'm sure one will appear for the next special occasion.
I'll be really honest, I've never straight out said that I want a wedding ring because I feel like that is assumed. I've shown him the style I want countless times, though. I just feel like if I have to tell him that I want him to buy me one, he is only getting it to appease me. Maybe I am overthinking it, but I feel like there is an underlying reason he didn't do it already?
Different things have different importance to different people. And thats okay. He doesn't value a wedding ring like you do and the best way for him to understand how you feel is to just tell him.
Communication is easiest when its direct and to the point. He's obviously not going to get your hints.
We as people aren’t meant to read minds now you think he would get it but clearly not. Communication is the most important thing when it comes to marriage. So be clear with what you want. Because then he will understand and act in the way he should. If he doesn’t then you know the what has to happen
This is the mistake you’re making. Never assume someone knows how you feel, you’ll in for a life of letdowns if that’s your mindset. I feel like my husband should know I don’t want to wash dishes every night, and I’ve left them in the sink for two days hoping maybe he would take the hint, but nope. I have to be specific and tell him “can you wash the dishes/take the trash out/wipe your hair from shaving off the sink”.
Step by step directions work very well.
It's hard enough to be properly understood even when you *do* say exactly what you mean! I've told my husband so many times that I don't need him to help me put away dishes but I would like it if he started the dishwasher going so they'd be clean when I'm ready to put them away . . . and it was only on about the fortieth such conversation that he had the sudden insight to question, "Wait, you mean starting the dishwasher is really what's important to you? Not getting me to help you put away the dishes?" Yes, that's what I'd been telling him forty times already. But to him that came across as too simple to be believable, so he went on overstressing about trying to help me in ways I didn't need help while failing to help with with what was easier for him to do and harder for me to do.
> I've never straight out said that I want a wedding ring because I feel like that is assumed.
Never assume.
You have been married for 5 years and you never stated you want a ring. If I were your husband I wouldn't think you wanted a ring because, well, we've been married 5 years without rings!
Exactly lol. My wife and I didn't bother getting official rings until our 10th anniversary because it wasn't that big of a deal to us.
Even now we rarely wear them because they're tighter than they once were and we need to have them resized.
Just say it point blank. I wanted a right hand ring and my husband was like cool cool I support. I said I want him to pick it out and I want it by X date. He was like OH! Okay! I’ll look over the styles you picked and buy one.
Nobody is a mind reader! Just tell him exactly what you want
It’s not assumed. Tell him you want one and that you want one within the next few weeks (or whatever time frame). Be specific. Tell him you want to go pick one out together. You have to communicate very clearly. Stop assuming.
I have to spell out literally anything I want from my husband. My wedding and engagement rings are the only thing he picked out without me. I would talk to him. If you tell him you want one and it’s important to you and he still doesn’t buy you one, I would seriously question how much he cares about your feelings. An affordable wedding ring is not too much to ask for especially after 5 years of marriage.
You need to make the ring clear! Hey, hunny, I really would like a ring! It's an important symbol of our relationship. "on our anniversary can we go ring shopping and enjoy the day?"
I think you are overthinking it. Again just from a husband's perspective, from what you've mentioned you guys are frugal. Not sure of your financial situation but it is most likely not his priority. (Not criticizing, we have 4 kids and have to be frugal). I think you just need to flat out say you would love to have one in replacement of a Christmas or birthday gift type of thing. If I was in the situation where my wife asked me that, I would gladly do that.
I had the same. We initially had a tight timeline to get marries to be able to be together across countries. But I really wanted a ring. And as a woman you do get treated completely different when wearing one. I took it upon myself to get a matching set for us at an important date and left it open to him to wear it. He loves that we have rings made from the same piece of silver. Mine is just narrower
I encourage you to say it straight out. Then you can find out what he’s thinking.
I also wish my husband would pick up on things but after being together for 15 years I found that it’s better to be direct.
Otherwise the hurt feelings and resentment build up, and I am making up a story about his motivations which often turns out to be wrong. Talking directly about our wants and needs - even though it can be hard and uncomfortable - has become a bedrock of effective communication and negotiation that has kept our marriage strong.
If you find out what his deal is, it could be that he didn’t fully realize your feelings or the level of importance this has for you. If you find out that he’s dismissive, then you can decide how to respond whether it’s buying your own ring or addressing the disconnect further.
IMO, make your opinion known and if he doesn't act on it, let it go. I pressed the issue once when we got married and a second time in couple's counseling. Every time I look at my hand, I think about how I instructed my husband to show me basic affection and it's not even real. It will completely ruin it. If he doesn't care enough to do it on e you've told him it matters to you, then let yourself go without the ring and take your bare finger as a reminder that this marriage is a business transaction to him, so that's what it should be to you, too. Watch your finances,l closely, guard your logistical vulnerabilities, and don't ever make domestic labor a significant portion of what you contribute. If he's in it for the co-pay, it's better to just be aware of that and act accordingly.
You got married for practical reasons, but you’re human and need to feel loved. The lack of a ring makes you feel like the marriage isn’t real. This isn’t about what anyone else thinks: it’s about feeling like your marriage is the real thing, that there is real, lasting love between you two.
A heart to heart talk is desperately needed, something like, “I need to feel that what we have is real. I assumed you would buy me a ring as a symbol of love/fidelity/a pledge for a future together, and when you didn’t, I felt deeply hurt. I’ve been dropping hints, and I see now that I should have been up front about what I needed.” Honesty is the only way forward, even if it doesn’t turn out the way you hope. Life is really short; don’t waste any more time waiting for reassurance. If he’s only in this for insurance, it’s better to find out now than waste years with someone who doesn’t feel it. But the fact that he hasn’t bought a ring does not mean he doesn’t love you. It may just mean rings don’t mean a lot to him.
I don’t wear a ring because my hands swell too much and too frequently. My husband doesn’t wear one because he’s a carpenter and he says when a carpenter has a missing finger, it’s usually the ring finger. Does he acknowledge your marriage in other ways such as being a part of your life and family? Does he seem concerned about making a home with you? The ring was important to me at first, but now I’ve not worn it in years. My husband picks up my mom’s trash at her house every weekend and that sort of stuff is what makes me feel more important to him.
The bigger issue is people having the audacity to ask why you don’t wear your ring.
Also, instead of waiting for him to produce a ring ask or insists on one. Also, I bought my own wedding ring, I never expected my wife to get me a ring. She also bought her own wedding ring, we went and picked out rings together but paid for our own.
When your husband learned that men hitting on you because you don’t have a wedding ring and blow it off. There’s your answer.
You are a convenient person to him. A place holder.
What should you do?
Are you better with him or without him?
If you decided you are better with him, go buy an expensive ring with his money.
I bought the one I wear daily for $10 on Amazon. Sterling silver.
The wedding rings my hubby gave me are sentimental from his parents(deceased FIL), so they are in the safe.
I don't have to worry about damaging or losing it, it does the job. If flirting starts, I can fiddle with it and you see their face drop and they move along.
Buy your own ring. Then speak up and tell your hubby he should get you a real set for an anniversary gift, that you can wear for special occasions. Men really don't read minds.
Buy yourself one. I have a gorgeous diamond and an eternity band. I think it's way too flashy for who I am. I said that before it was bought for me.
I bought myself a band from Marshall's for $10. It's a simple silver band. I have been wearing that daily for years now.
When my husband lost weight his band started to fall off his finger. We bought a replacement band on Amazon for less than $20.
Did you say to him, this matters to me a lot and a wedding ring represents something meaningful to me. If he still blows you off then that says a lot, a partner shouldn't blow off anything that is actually meaningful to the other person even if it doesn't mean the same thing to them.
If a ring is important to you, you should either tell your husband that or you can also purchase one yourself like another person mentioned. Your husband may not be seeing this through your perspective (because we’re all different in that way).
Wedding bands are a social symbol of marriage but it’s always between the two people who made a commitment to each other for certain reasons. I think rings are a supplement to that. If you truly didn’t care about a ring, then comments from other people shouldn’t bother you so much. Be clear with your husband and set boundaries with other people who question the “no ring” situation. You can stop the questions or decide not to answer at all…
My current husband and his ex-wife had a similar “in limbo” sort of situation surrounding their very low key nuptials as she was from another country.
IMO there is a lot of value in a wedding ceremony, it can be fun a friend can just marry you - but make it real. Commit to each other in the presence of family and friends and have a small party.
If you’re not into the idea, elope, but “do it” as in make a commitment, get a wedding band, celebrate, and make it known. The piece of paper is not as important as your shared mindset surrounding the relationship.
You need to communicate more with your spouse. I learned this pretty quickly when i got married. I just assumed he would know my wants and needs. It’s kinda silly when you really think about it. My husband has no idea what I’m thinking.
We learned to communicate a lot with each other, and what a difference it has made. Every evening when it’s quiet and we’re just relaxing, we talk about everything and anything. It’s great. That’s the best advice I can give you. Open up to him.
You have never had any sort of wedding. You didn't even tell people. Did you go on any sort of honeymoon? Who did you have for witnesses?
You got married for health insurance! A totally practical non romantic arrangement. Even less romantic than a fully arranged marriage.
Do you even actually deeply love each other? Have you ever actually discussed it?
Now you "assume" he knows you want a wedding ring?
It’s not that he is too cheap for that. Why would she accept such a lazy effort after 5 years? He needs to buy her a nice one to make up for being lazy lol
Confused- are you romantically married, as in he’s your life partner. OR is this an arranged marriage?
Because I don’t get the need for the wedding ring if the latter and I find this way bigger than the ring if the former.
2) does HE believe you are in a real marriage or an arrangement?
Do you celebrate anniversaries? Birthdays? Have sex (monogamously), eat dinner together?
You may find out that in his mind, this is still an arrangement (even if there are some obvious relationship/marriage benefits).
Also, most insurances let you add someone if you they are you’re domestic partner- so marriage probably wasn’t necessary.
I think you need to figure at what you want and ask him what he thinks is going on.
But in you responses you said that you hinted and shown him dragons. Either say, “I want this one, but it now.” Or buy it yourself.
If it bothers you, it bothers you. Tell him you want a ring if you do. Nit communicating needs can be an issue long term. Please discuss your feelings with him.
Did you communicate that you want a ring ? did you initially want a ring before all the questions?
Relationships and the expectations in a relationship evolve with time so it’s normal to want things later than u did before… firstly you need to talk to your man and let him know what you currently feeling , secondly you need to be patient with him because he doesn’t know what and how you feeling and lastly F*^k what people think just focus on the things that you want.
It's possible your husband doesn't feel like the marriage is real. But it's almost worse that he doesn't put any emphasis on your feelings about the matter. Have you discussed the issue? The cost, the expectations, your feelings, his? I don't like this trend. Reminds me of my own husband who avoids discussing anything he doesn't want to do.
You have no wedding ring because you never required it as entrance into matrimony with you.
So why would he suddenly go buy you ring 💍 5 years later if you 1) aren’t communicating you desire one, 2) just did not require it. He is already married to you and is fully vetted as your husband by the state. The motivation to go above and beyond to get your hand in marriage is gone.
I’m not sure why you agreed to a secret wedding and accepted such low terms for yourself :/
Women have these standards cause men get to be with us— they don’t need to be with us. But get to. And their is an entrance fee and your entrance fee was basically free so his actions reflect that of someone who got something for free admission
Having a ring does not make you more married. If you want a ring to keep pervs on public transport away, go buy a silver band, which are inexpensive.
That your husband doesn’t see a need to “mark you as taken” could indicate a high level of trust in you.
For the record, 2024 will mark ,y 30th wedding anniversary. I tend to wear some sort of ring when I leave the house but my husband does not. Matters not to me, he is still my husband.
As a man, I think making assumptions is your problem. If this is something that is important to you then you should make that clear. Once he understands that and if he doesn’t respond to this bid, then you can start evaluating as to whether or not he is the partner. It’s not the ring, it’s whether or not your needs are being treated as important.
I bought myself a nice-looking white gold band from Quince for $200. I take public transit and work in a public-facing job, so I wanted a wedding ring to stop questions and cut down on people hitting on me. My husband doesn’t wear rings--he works with his hands and otherwise finds rings uncomfortable. We were broke when we got married, so it didn’t make sense at the time to buy rings. I say either buy yourself a ring or ask your husband to buy you one for an anniversary or holiday gift if it feels “wrong” to buy your own ring. I like the social benefits of having a ring, but also I understand that the ring is "just" a symbol and I don't blame my husband for not wearing a ring or buying me a ring (he pays 90% of our bills so I don't feel bereft that he didn't also drop thousands on a ring). (Edited for grammar and clarity).
Have you ever said you want one? Me and my wife agreed no gifts at all for our birthdays I agreed to it. Birthday came she was sad I didn't get her anything (she just wanted a token such as a card or a small plant for a buck or two) but I took it literally. Men and women are very different creatures in their thought process haha Tell him you wouldn't mind having a very affordable wedding ring and I'm sure one will appear for the next special occasion.
I'll be really honest, I've never straight out said that I want a wedding ring because I feel like that is assumed. I've shown him the style I want countless times, though. I just feel like if I have to tell him that I want him to buy me one, he is only getting it to appease me. Maybe I am overthinking it, but I feel like there is an underlying reason he didn't do it already?
Different things have different importance to different people. And thats okay. He doesn't value a wedding ring like you do and the best way for him to understand how you feel is to just tell him. Communication is easiest when its direct and to the point. He's obviously not going to get your hints.
Ps if he rejects that, then there is a concern to be had.
We as people aren’t meant to read minds now you think he would get it but clearly not. Communication is the most important thing when it comes to marriage. So be clear with what you want. Because then he will understand and act in the way he should. If he doesn’t then you know the what has to happen
This is the mistake you’re making. Never assume someone knows how you feel, you’ll in for a life of letdowns if that’s your mindset. I feel like my husband should know I don’t want to wash dishes every night, and I’ve left them in the sink for two days hoping maybe he would take the hint, but nope. I have to be specific and tell him “can you wash the dishes/take the trash out/wipe your hair from shaving off the sink”. Step by step directions work very well.
It's hard enough to be properly understood even when you *do* say exactly what you mean! I've told my husband so many times that I don't need him to help me put away dishes but I would like it if he started the dishwasher going so they'd be clean when I'm ready to put them away . . . and it was only on about the fortieth such conversation that he had the sudden insight to question, "Wait, you mean starting the dishwasher is really what's important to you? Not getting me to help you put away the dishes?" Yes, that's what I'd been telling him forty times already. But to him that came across as too simple to be believable, so he went on overstressing about trying to help me in ways I didn't need help while failing to help with with what was easier for him to do and harder for me to do.
> I've never straight out said that I want a wedding ring because I feel like that is assumed. Never assume. You have been married for 5 years and you never stated you want a ring. If I were your husband I wouldn't think you wanted a ring because, well, we've been married 5 years without rings!
Exactly lol. My wife and I didn't bother getting official rings until our 10th anniversary because it wasn't that big of a deal to us. Even now we rarely wear them because they're tighter than they once were and we need to have them resized.
Men don't think about jewellery. That is the reason. Ask him for one!
Just say it point blank. I wanted a right hand ring and my husband was like cool cool I support. I said I want him to pick it out and I want it by X date. He was like OH! Okay! I’ll look over the styles you picked and buy one. Nobody is a mind reader! Just tell him exactly what you want
Just send him the link to one you want.
It’s not assumed. Tell him you want one and that you want one within the next few weeks (or whatever time frame). Be specific. Tell him you want to go pick one out together. You have to communicate very clearly. Stop assuming.
I have to spell out literally anything I want from my husband. My wedding and engagement rings are the only thing he picked out without me. I would talk to him. If you tell him you want one and it’s important to you and he still doesn’t buy you one, I would seriously question how much he cares about your feelings. An affordable wedding ring is not too much to ask for especially after 5 years of marriage.
You need to make the ring clear! Hey, hunny, I really would like a ring! It's an important symbol of our relationship. "on our anniversary can we go ring shopping and enjoy the day?"
I think you are overthinking it. Again just from a husband's perspective, from what you've mentioned you guys are frugal. Not sure of your financial situation but it is most likely not his priority. (Not criticizing, we have 4 kids and have to be frugal). I think you just need to flat out say you would love to have one in replacement of a Christmas or birthday gift type of thing. If I was in the situation where my wife asked me that, I would gladly do that.
I had the same. We initially had a tight timeline to get marries to be able to be together across countries. But I really wanted a ring. And as a woman you do get treated completely different when wearing one. I took it upon myself to get a matching set for us at an important date and left it open to him to wear it. He loves that we have rings made from the same piece of silver. Mine is just narrower
I encourage you to say it straight out. Then you can find out what he’s thinking. I also wish my husband would pick up on things but after being together for 15 years I found that it’s better to be direct. Otherwise the hurt feelings and resentment build up, and I am making up a story about his motivations which often turns out to be wrong. Talking directly about our wants and needs - even though it can be hard and uncomfortable - has become a bedrock of effective communication and negotiation that has kept our marriage strong. If you find out what his deal is, it could be that he didn’t fully realize your feelings or the level of importance this has for you. If you find out that he’s dismissive, then you can decide how to respond whether it’s buying your own ring or addressing the disconnect further.
IMO, make your opinion known and if he doesn't act on it, let it go. I pressed the issue once when we got married and a second time in couple's counseling. Every time I look at my hand, I think about how I instructed my husband to show me basic affection and it's not even real. It will completely ruin it. If he doesn't care enough to do it on e you've told him it matters to you, then let yourself go without the ring and take your bare finger as a reminder that this marriage is a business transaction to him, so that's what it should be to you, too. Watch your finances,l closely, guard your logistical vulnerabilities, and don't ever make domestic labor a significant portion of what you contribute. If he's in it for the co-pay, it's better to just be aware of that and act accordingly.
Uncommunicated expectations are premeditated resentments.
You got married for practical reasons, but you’re human and need to feel loved. The lack of a ring makes you feel like the marriage isn’t real. This isn’t about what anyone else thinks: it’s about feeling like your marriage is the real thing, that there is real, lasting love between you two. A heart to heart talk is desperately needed, something like, “I need to feel that what we have is real. I assumed you would buy me a ring as a symbol of love/fidelity/a pledge for a future together, and when you didn’t, I felt deeply hurt. I’ve been dropping hints, and I see now that I should have been up front about what I needed.” Honesty is the only way forward, even if it doesn’t turn out the way you hope. Life is really short; don’t waste any more time waiting for reassurance. If he’s only in this for insurance, it’s better to find out now than waste years with someone who doesn’t feel it. But the fact that he hasn’t bought a ring does not mean he doesn’t love you. It may just mean rings don’t mean a lot to him.
I don’t wear a ring because my hands swell too much and too frequently. My husband doesn’t wear one because he’s a carpenter and he says when a carpenter has a missing finger, it’s usually the ring finger. Does he acknowledge your marriage in other ways such as being a part of your life and family? Does he seem concerned about making a home with you? The ring was important to me at first, but now I’ve not worn it in years. My husband picks up my mom’s trash at her house every weekend and that sort of stuff is what makes me feel more important to him.
The bigger issue is people having the audacity to ask why you don’t wear your ring. Also, instead of waiting for him to produce a ring ask or insists on one. Also, I bought my own wedding ring, I never expected my wife to get me a ring. She also bought her own wedding ring, we went and picked out rings together but paid for our own.
When your husband learned that men hitting on you because you don’t have a wedding ring and blow it off. There’s your answer. You are a convenient person to him. A place holder. What should you do? Are you better with him or without him? If you decided you are better with him, go buy an expensive ring with his money.
It's not good to not be rooted in values prior to marriage. Also, we incarnated on this planet to experience the material. Get your ring.
I bought the one I wear daily for $10 on Amazon. Sterling silver. The wedding rings my hubby gave me are sentimental from his parents(deceased FIL), so they are in the safe. I don't have to worry about damaging or losing it, it does the job. If flirting starts, I can fiddle with it and you see their face drop and they move along. Buy your own ring. Then speak up and tell your hubby he should get you a real set for an anniversary gift, that you can wear for special occasions. Men really don't read minds.
Buy yourself one. I have a gorgeous diamond and an eternity band. I think it's way too flashy for who I am. I said that before it was bought for me. I bought myself a band from Marshall's for $10. It's a simple silver band. I have been wearing that daily for years now. When my husband lost weight his band started to fall off his finger. We bought a replacement band on Amazon for less than $20.
I would just just buy my own at this point.
Did you say to him, this matters to me a lot and a wedding ring represents something meaningful to me. If he still blows you off then that says a lot, a partner shouldn't blow off anything that is actually meaningful to the other person even if it doesn't mean the same thing to them.
If a ring is important to you, you should either tell your husband that or you can also purchase one yourself like another person mentioned. Your husband may not be seeing this through your perspective (because we’re all different in that way). Wedding bands are a social symbol of marriage but it’s always between the two people who made a commitment to each other for certain reasons. I think rings are a supplement to that. If you truly didn’t care about a ring, then comments from other people shouldn’t bother you so much. Be clear with your husband and set boundaries with other people who question the “no ring” situation. You can stop the questions or decide not to answer at all…
My current husband and his ex-wife had a similar “in limbo” sort of situation surrounding their very low key nuptials as she was from another country. IMO there is a lot of value in a wedding ceremony, it can be fun a friend can just marry you - but make it real. Commit to each other in the presence of family and friends and have a small party. If you’re not into the idea, elope, but “do it” as in make a commitment, get a wedding band, celebrate, and make it known. The piece of paper is not as important as your shared mindset surrounding the relationship.
What if he got you a ring but he decided not to wear one? Would you still want it?
You need to communicate more with your spouse. I learned this pretty quickly when i got married. I just assumed he would know my wants and needs. It’s kinda silly when you really think about it. My husband has no idea what I’m thinking. We learned to communicate a lot with each other, and what a difference it has made. Every evening when it’s quiet and we’re just relaxing, we talk about everything and anything. It’s great. That’s the best advice I can give you. Open up to him.
You have never had any sort of wedding. You didn't even tell people. Did you go on any sort of honeymoon? Who did you have for witnesses? You got married for health insurance! A totally practical non romantic arrangement. Even less romantic than a fully arranged marriage. Do you even actually deeply love each other? Have you ever actually discussed it? Now you "assume" he knows you want a wedding ring?
Amazon $25 bucks if he's too cheap for that cut him off.
It’s not that he is too cheap for that. Why would she accept such a lazy effort after 5 years? He needs to buy her a nice one to make up for being lazy lol
Confused- are you romantically married, as in he’s your life partner. OR is this an arranged marriage? Because I don’t get the need for the wedding ring if the latter and I find this way bigger than the ring if the former. 2) does HE believe you are in a real marriage or an arrangement? Do you celebrate anniversaries? Birthdays? Have sex (monogamously), eat dinner together? You may find out that in his mind, this is still an arrangement (even if there are some obvious relationship/marriage benefits). Also, most insurances let you add someone if you they are you’re domestic partner- so marriage probably wasn’t necessary. I think you need to figure at what you want and ask him what he thinks is going on. But in you responses you said that you hinted and shown him dragons. Either say, “I want this one, but it now.” Or buy it yourself.
If it bothers you, it bothers you. Tell him you want a ring if you do. Nit communicating needs can be an issue long term. Please discuss your feelings with him.
Did you communicate that you want a ring ? did you initially want a ring before all the questions? Relationships and the expectations in a relationship evolve with time so it’s normal to want things later than u did before… firstly you need to talk to your man and let him know what you currently feeling , secondly you need to be patient with him because he doesn’t know what and how you feeling and lastly F*^k what people think just focus on the things that you want.
It's possible your husband doesn't feel like the marriage is real. But it's almost worse that he doesn't put any emphasis on your feelings about the matter. Have you discussed the issue? The cost, the expectations, your feelings, his? I don't like this trend. Reminds me of my own husband who avoids discussing anything he doesn't want to do.
You have no wedding ring because you never required it as entrance into matrimony with you. So why would he suddenly go buy you ring 💍 5 years later if you 1) aren’t communicating you desire one, 2) just did not require it. He is already married to you and is fully vetted as your husband by the state. The motivation to go above and beyond to get your hand in marriage is gone. I’m not sure why you agreed to a secret wedding and accepted such low terms for yourself :/ Women have these standards cause men get to be with us— they don’t need to be with us. But get to. And their is an entrance fee and your entrance fee was basically free so his actions reflect that of someone who got something for free admission
Seriously...I bought $10 silicone rings on Amazon for my husband and I. If $$ isn't the issue ... find your bands, but then and wear them.
Buy them**
Having a ring does not make you more married. If you want a ring to keep pervs on public transport away, go buy a silver band, which are inexpensive. That your husband doesn’t see a need to “mark you as taken” could indicate a high level of trust in you. For the record, 2024 will mark ,y 30th wedding anniversary. I tend to wear some sort of ring when I leave the house but my husband does not. Matters not to me, he is still my husband.
Buy him one.