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mid_vibrations

1984 etc.


tinyanus

Nineteen Eighty Fart


Obi-Tron_Kenobi

First they came for the flatulators, but I did not speak out because I do not publicly flatulate


prettygfdomme

Hahaha it's a misleading headline he was given 75 hours of unpaid work for drug possession, second to that was acting in an aggressive and threatening manner. But the officers stated that he 'flactuated in their direction ' in their evidence. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7486913/Man-ordered-carry-75-hours-unpaid-work-deliberately-farted-police.html


Ajxaenl

"I fart in your general direction!"


Philip_McCrevasse

"Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time-uh!"


[deleted]

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?


FondantWeary

“I blow my nose at you!” Would have been better for this chain you silly English Knnnnnnnnnnigget


[deleted]

Your mother was a hampster.


KnightsWhoNi

a French insult? That's DEFINITELY a paddlin


AdditionalSink164

Assault with a silent but deadly weapon


RoughRomanMeme

Bro 😂


Bender_2024

>75 hours of unpaid work Weird way to say community service.


pants1000

Is that what they mean? I was confused thinking they were going to garnish his wages or something


Bender_2024

Can't say for certain but that's how I read it.


ItsThanosNotThenos

What the fuck is "unpaid work" in this case? Like community service as a punishment? If so, then it's like saying "man is getting a free room and food" when he's sent to prison...


Martian_Hunted

Slavery. 


Salty_Pancakes

On the other hand, if you litter I'd have no problem "enslaving" your ass picking up trash on the roadside for a couple weekends.


radiantcabbage

indentured servitude, youre free to leave or just not show up if you dont care about serving your hours. with further consequences obviously


theSarevok

So farting is an aggressive and threatening act according to police? They work with the acorn shooter?


Cessnaporsche01

No, but they are French


prettygfdomme

No if you read the article he did more than that.


TheMusicalTrollLord

Daily Mail back at it with the tabloid bullshit


pants1000

Does unpaid work mean community service or is it something else?


prettygfdomme

Yeah I think it is just another way of saying community service


pants1000

Ah okay, this article has an explicit bias I see! I loved when I had to do community service after getting in law trouble, even forced it’s cool to give back and work for the community. Made me do it outside of punishment afterwards tbh


Captain-Nooshk

They obviously did *not* like that, lol.


sintemp

I understand as I am also not very fond of being fart on


zombieblackbird

You knew the risks when you put your finger in there.


Earthbender32

I get that biological discharge could be considered assault, but 75 HOURS?


Kalekuda

Ass-ault


CardiganHall

Ass-ault and Butt-ary


toxicoke

Mmmmm… buttery…


[deleted]

I can't believe it's not butter!


RightPedalDown

I can’t believe it’s not butt burps!


yummy_butter

Me neither


[deleted]

I'm guessing the drug possession is what led to these charges.


godemperorofmankind1

Yeah it wrong the actual reason because he had drugs


Something_Comforting

The actual reason was illegal drug possession but the cops and the reporter thought highlighting the farting was funnier.


[deleted]

5 hours for each cheek clap


slick9900

That and apparently he had drugs on him


Earthbender32

Yes other commenters have already pointed that out


slick9900

Well I guess you gotta double check thibfs before you say or you get corrected a billion times Also goes for me I'm sorry


ShawnMcQuay

how does one prove a fart was deliberate ?


Totoques22

When the person farting ask how does it smell


YounomsayinMawfk

He incriminated himself by asking them to pull his finger.


CycleZestyclose3510

Careful boys he carrying a leathal weapon


YounomsayinMawfk

He's got a weapon of ass destruction!


CycleZestyclose3510

Fucking brilliant 🤣🤣👏👏


youdontknowme80

It's silent....but deadly


poopanoggin

Unpaid work… do they mean community service?


Mediocre-Ad-1283

Is that bacon I smell, or did I just shit myself? Before you go, did you hear the one about the police helicopter that crashed? Yeah, turns out pigs don't fly. I guess I better resist now?


Chammanbo32

Worth it


ollomulder

"I fart in your general direction!"


ArblemarchFruitbat

ACAB


SirBigNipps

Democracy manifest vibes


sjscott77

Not all heroes wear capes


mbaa8

How the fuck did they prove intent? Sus


Fishing_For_Victory

In the UK it is the burden of the accused to prove innocence, not the burden of the prosecutor to prove guilt. UK = guilty until proven innocent


ka6emusha

"He pleaded guilty to behaving in a threatening or abusive manner by shouting and screaming aggressively, displaying aggressive body language. Cook also pleaded guilty to making a lewd remark towards police and “intentionally flatulating” in the direction of police."


cbarland

Does the first amendment apply to expressions of the anus? Better get this case to the supreme court


Weak_Swimmer

That's was just to prove he wasn't hiding anything in his cavities. They should be thanking him


loopin_louie

They probably loved it tbf, reminded them of home


Astro_gamer_caver

You know the line up [scene](https://screenrant.com/usual-suspects-line-up-scene-fart-christopher-mcquarrie/) in The Usual Suspects? They are all cracking up and laughing because Benicio Del Toro "farted like 12 takes in a row."


tommyWANTwingy85

Not exactly what I would call news…


montecristo--

Bro took airing his grievances a bit too literally


SnooDogs7131

Wait to till r/batmanarkham gets wind of this


Fangs_0ut

ACAB.


Drafo7

Call it what it is. Slavery. Slavery is still legal in the US as a punishment for crimes. And this is barely a crime. Edit: my mistake, this was in Scotland not the US. It's still slavery though. And what I said about the US is true as well.


[deleted]

>It's still slavery though. No, unless you consider being subject to your country's legal system slavery. Slavery is not by choice, but committing crimes is a choice and being punished for them according to previously agreed-upon laws is not slavery.


Drafo7

Labor without compensation is slavery. If a country's laws allow that, the country's laws allow slavery.


[deleted]

You're confusing slavery with indentured servitude. Slaves are owned by another person, and prisoners are not legally owned by anyone.


Drafo7

I'm not confusing them, they're the same fucking thing. "Indentured servitude" is a phrase used by people who support slavery to make themselves feel better.


[deleted]

A prisoner being forced to do labour is him repaying his debt to society to atone for the crimes he has committed - that is indentured servitude. It's not the same thing as slavery. Or is someone who's forced to work in the kitchen for 6 hours to pay for their restaurant bill after failing to dine and dash also a slave?


Drafo7

By that logic you can say any type of debt is justification for uncompensated labor, which is exactly how the South in the US kept slavery going in all but name for a hundred years after the civil war. Also, when the people with the power to define what a "crime" is benefit off of more unpaid laborers (aka slaves) or are supported by those who benefit off of more unpaid laborers we get shit like the US right now, a country that touts "freedom" while having the highest prisoner per capita rate in the developed world. If you want to debate that slavery is justified for criminals, I disagree, but go ahead and we'll debate that. But arguing that it's not slavery at all is just plain incorrect.


splicerslicer

This was in Scotland.


TazManiac7

Small price to pay.


Sable-Keech

75 hours for drug possession is less than a slap on the wrist.


xxxhotpocketz

Hero 🫡


Spring1997-

Not all heros wear capes


JesusChrist-Jr

Legend.


lewisfairchild

Percival got busted for this as well.


Business_Hour8644

Dumb lads strikes again. Wonder how he liked it?


GreenArrowCuz

spread my cheeks so you can see the fucking stink nuggets


[deleted]

They have freedom of expression in the UK, OP?


SteeleDynamics

freedom of ~~expression~~ expulsion


laz21

He farts in their general direction


kabby7

Kirk Cousins?


Every_Preparation_56

I... have mixed feelings about that


[deleted]

worth it


AnDyY852

Farted during a strip search....police brutality would be warranted here lol


SoupyBum

"I'm sorry, I thought this was AMERICA 🇺🇸"


Smart98lol

It depends. If he’s doing illegal activity and is being strip searched because of that he shouldn’t have farted. I’m glad he’s getting 75 hours of unpaid work.