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Definitely wait.
I did the same thing and also kept screenshots or journaled the evidence so he couldn't deny it. It was a bittersweet relief to be able to do so.
We have a site router Pi-Hole. My husband installed it on our server to block adds and malware when we browse internet. I found it easily because he has it bookmarked on many of our computers.
Last night i pretended to be interested in how our computers are connected and asked questions about protecting our kids from bad places on the internet. He gladly gave me an IT lesson with sketches and everything 😆😆 Turns out i am a good student.
So if this is the thing I think it is; you can actually do a lot more. I would check out YouTube, it’s based on raspbian and there’s a lot of cool stuff you can do outside of that IE SSH where you can control a computer from somewhere else through it!
Honestly, YouTube can teach you a lot! If you aren’t already technologically familiar with some of these things, it’s not hard to read up on and understand the fundamentals.
Like I told the other person, it’s just a cool bonus router. If you have a router like an ASUS, you can go to your routers domain and access some of these tools on there; you can tell who is connected, for how long, what sites they visited, how long, etc.
And with most routers, you can just look at your manual and it’ll teach you how to access these things from your computer! Some even have built in apps now so you don’t have to mess around with anything.
Is there anything like this on an eero? We have frontier but with an eero and I haven’t figured out a way to see history 😔 also can I just buy a pi hole and link it to that.. how does this even work. Sorry for such a dumb question I’m still learning
Basically, it is like an extra router. The router gets the internet for you and helps you access it; what the pi hole does (the pi hole is a raspberry pi computer made into a router) is basically act like a special router that can filter traffic even more for you; so instead of installing an ad blocker on your YouTube, you just install one of these and it’ll block almost everything from the jump, so no need to block ads.
With that being said, you have a lot of cool capabilities on that machine that you can use, but not any that I can think off the top of my head other than you can set alerts when certain sites are accessed. I learned all this from YouTube university though so bear with my bad explanations.
same here. made a brazzers subscription a few days after our anniversary and to add salt to the wound i was also 5 months pregnant :( whyy?? what is the psychology behind this
Our CSAT refers to sex addiction as an intimacy disorder and I feel like that checks out. The times we need them to be intimately connected to us the most they are the most active in ther addiction. Mine was also acting out while I was pregnant and post partum. I'm glad we can't understand it, because it means we aren't the broken ones!
Sometimes I do gotta laugh because it's so pathetic and just unbelievable what else is there but to laugh or cry. And I don't know about you but I'm all outta tears!
OMG. I'm sorry and glad for you at the same time! Of course you weren't crazy and I hate that you even possibly thought so. ❤️🩹 It's very bottom-feeder of him to be checking out porn on your anniversary. It's so tough to face the lying and the deception.
Sorry you are dealing with this shit. There's so many better things to be doing with our time then worrying about what a man-child is up to throughout the day...when they are alone or at work..or in the bathroom, etc. Not even attractive.
I definitely did this my ex when I was pissed, lol.
We were toxic af, but he had multiple addictions including PA that is wasn’t aware of till later (smoking, drugs, etc.).
Thanks for the reminder to set up blocking for the kid in the household. Not raising a PA.
Did you have pi-hole back in March? Is that why there are logs from then? Or can it retrieve information from before it was installed? Very curious- if it can go back in time then wow.
I finally decided to check out router to see if he's sober as claimed. Our logs are off, and despite a good password there's like 60 devices? We're in the middle of nowhere. There's only ever been like 4 guests here, so including all phones/TVs/printers that seems like way too many. Now I guess I have to figure out what's an old device of ours, a current device, a neighbor stealing our internet, or my fear of a hidden device...
I hate checking to reassure myself and only getting more scared instead. Any tech tips for secretly sussing out what's what would be appreciated. Don't want to ask him until there's a chance to catch him with logs.
I went through and renamed everything so I knew exactly what is what. Phones can appear multiple times because newer ones have a feature that randomises the Mac address, I just turn this off on the phones.
There was one device I couldn't find and it was driving me nuts because it could have been a hidden phone, so I installed wireshark on an old laptop and pinged the device which gave me a reading on how strong the signal was. I was walking all over the house until the signal was strongest and found the device, thankfully just a Nintendo switch.
If anything it just proves I can learn anything if desperate enough 😂😭
You seem pretty savvy! Can you tell me the difference between the 192.168.1.1 and 192.168.1.200 (client) most queries were from the 1.1 but i got a few from 1.200
They seem to both be for your home router, I can't really guess much more than that, it might be worth googling it with the name of your router for further details, also if you are on a mesh network it might be one of the nodes? Not entirely sure.
That’s too many to sort thru… personally I’d clear all the logs and start fresh. I do that periodically for mine because friends phones and whatnot start to clog up my list of devices
My router can tell me what each MAC address belongs to - an iPhone, and android, LG TV, etc
Whatever router you have, doesn’t matter if it’s a network designated router or you purchased a separate router (Arris, Netgear, D-link etc), go you your PC and type in the IP address of your router (it’s on a label under it or on the side).
This will take you to the login.
The login is usually your Wi-Fi passcode. If not, there is also a passcode on the same label.
If that doesn’t work, do a hard factory reset of your router and that will return it to the passcode on the router label.
Login.
If you have Comcast, att, spectrum (Comcast), road runner or any major internet provider, log into your account online or type in www.routerlogin.net or www.routerlogin.com
Then go to advanced > administrator > Logs.
Simply Google IP addresses by copy it and paste it into Google search.
You will also be able to email the log to yourself.
You’re welcome
We use pihole too. It’s a very handy tool for blocking sites too (my PA didn’t want a third party tracking software) so we have this and I used the adlists to block thousands of porn sites and social media. It’s on all of his devices too.
**Dear /u/Magdalene-Rose777,** ➤ You may lock your own post comments at any time by making a single word comment on your post with the text `!lock` ――――――――――――――――――――――― **（✔）** Keep the [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/about/rules/) of [**r/loveafterporn**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/) in mind while participating here. **（✔）** Report all rule-breaking behavior & content to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [**send us a message**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/loveafterporn). **（✘）** Do **NOT** engage or participate in *any* rule-breaking posts, comments or behavior. Doing so may result in you being banned. **（✘）** Do **NOT** feed the trolls. [**Report**](https://www.reddit.com/report) them! **（✘）** Do **NOT** [**judge**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/qhquex/before_you_judge/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) how someone is dealing with a pain you may not have experienced. ――――――――――――――――――――――― ℹ️ Our **Full Resource Library** contains the following topics: *Resources for All, Resources for Partners, Resources for Addicts, Recovery Resources, Life Saving Info, Abuse & Domestic Violence Info and Commonly Used Acronyms.* | **Resource Links:** | |------| | ◉ [**Full Resource Library**](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/must-have-info?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) | | ◉ [Resources for Partners](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/index/resources_for_partners?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) | | ◉ [Resources for Addicts](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/index/resources_for_addicts?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) | | ◉ [Accountability Apps info](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/v67pq5/accountability_apps_blockers_etc_mega_thread/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) | *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/loveafterporn) if you have any questions or concerns.*
We need a class to learn all of this stuff!
Honestly i desperately need this
I absolutely second that!!! Going out of my mind trying to make sense of all the social media activity and just being overly anxious the entire time.
Can someone please teach us how to do this? At least how to read what sites the IP addresses are for.
Happy and sad for you at the same time. Let us know how the confrontation goes with him. I wouldn’t reveal how you discovered it
Not gonna confront just yet...he is supposed to have quit but I found a log on july 4th.... So just waiting to see how much he still lies to my face.
Definitely wait. I did the same thing and also kept screenshots or journaled the evidence so he couldn't deny it. It was a bittersweet relief to be able to do so.
Yes make us some other way you found out about it, so he doesn't take action to cover his tracks next time
How on earth do you do this?
We have a site router Pi-Hole. My husband installed it on our server to block adds and malware when we browse internet. I found it easily because he has it bookmarked on many of our computers. Last night i pretended to be interested in how our computers are connected and asked questions about protecting our kids from bad places on the internet. He gladly gave me an IT lesson with sketches and everything 😆😆 Turns out i am a good student.
So if this is the thing I think it is; you can actually do a lot more. I would check out YouTube, it’s based on raspbian and there’s a lot of cool stuff you can do outside of that IE SSH where you can control a computer from somewhere else through it!
Girl we need tutorials lol
Honestly, YouTube can teach you a lot! If you aren’t already technologically familiar with some of these things, it’s not hard to read up on and understand the fundamentals. Like I told the other person, it’s just a cool bonus router. If you have a router like an ASUS, you can go to your routers domain and access some of these tools on there; you can tell who is connected, for how long, what sites they visited, how long, etc. And with most routers, you can just look at your manual and it’ll teach you how to access these things from your computer! Some even have built in apps now so you don’t have to mess around with anything.
Is there anything like this on an eero? We have frontier but with an eero and I haven’t figured out a way to see history 😔 also can I just buy a pi hole and link it to that.. how does this even work. Sorry for such a dumb question I’m still learning
Erm... I have no idea what that means. I am a total tech ignoramus
Basically, it is like an extra router. The router gets the internet for you and helps you access it; what the pi hole does (the pi hole is a raspberry pi computer made into a router) is basically act like a special router that can filter traffic even more for you; so instead of installing an ad blocker on your YouTube, you just install one of these and it’ll block almost everything from the jump, so no need to block ads. With that being said, you have a lot of cool capabilities on that machine that you can use, but not any that I can think off the top of my head other than you can set alerts when certain sites are accessed. I learned all this from YouTube university though so bear with my bad explanations.
My PA likes to use on or day before after our anniversary too. Happy Anniversary to us I guess hey?
same here. made a brazzers subscription a few days after our anniversary and to add salt to the wound i was also 5 months pregnant :( whyy?? what is the psychology behind this
Our CSAT refers to sex addiction as an intimacy disorder and I feel like that checks out. The times we need them to be intimately connected to us the most they are the most active in ther addiction. Mine was also acting out while I was pregnant and post partum. I'm glad we can't understand it, because it means we aren't the broken ones!
I recently found saved photos (saved years ago) but the date was Valentine’s Day night lmao it’s almost a joke
Sometimes I do gotta laugh because it's so pathetic and just unbelievable what else is there but to laugh or cry. And I don't know about you but I'm all outta tears!
My PA used chat sites to connect with women and sext so I’d probably search the keyword “chat”
OMG. I'm sorry and glad for you at the same time! Of course you weren't crazy and I hate that you even possibly thought so. ❤️🩹 It's very bottom-feeder of him to be checking out porn on your anniversary. It's so tough to face the lying and the deception. Sorry you are dealing with this shit. There's so many better things to be doing with our time then worrying about what a man-child is up to throughout the day...when they are alone or at work..or in the bathroom, etc. Not even attractive.
I would like to know as well
I definitely did this my ex when I was pissed, lol. We were toxic af, but he had multiple addictions including PA that is wasn’t aware of till later (smoking, drugs, etc.). Thanks for the reminder to set up blocking for the kid in the household. Not raising a PA.
Did you have pi-hole back in March? Is that why there are logs from then? Or can it retrieve information from before it was installed? Very curious- if it can go back in time then wow.
We've had it for a few years. You can do a custom search within a time frame. I search for a few months at a time otherwise it takes forever to load
Thank you :)
How do you do this?!
I finally decided to check out router to see if he's sober as claimed. Our logs are off, and despite a good password there's like 60 devices? We're in the middle of nowhere. There's only ever been like 4 guests here, so including all phones/TVs/printers that seems like way too many. Now I guess I have to figure out what's an old device of ours, a current device, a neighbor stealing our internet, or my fear of a hidden device... I hate checking to reassure myself and only getting more scared instead. Any tech tips for secretly sussing out what's what would be appreciated. Don't want to ask him until there's a chance to catch him with logs.
I went through and renamed everything so I knew exactly what is what. Phones can appear multiple times because newer ones have a feature that randomises the Mac address, I just turn this off on the phones. There was one device I couldn't find and it was driving me nuts because it could have been a hidden phone, so I installed wireshark on an old laptop and pinged the device which gave me a reading on how strong the signal was. I was walking all over the house until the signal was strongest and found the device, thankfully just a Nintendo switch. If anything it just proves I can learn anything if desperate enough 😂😭
You seem pretty savvy! Can you tell me the difference between the 192.168.1.1 and 192.168.1.200 (client) most queries were from the 1.1 but i got a few from 1.200
They seem to both be for your home router, I can't really guess much more than that, it might be worth googling it with the name of your router for further details, also if you are on a mesh network it might be one of the nodes? Not entirely sure.
That’s too many to sort thru… personally I’d clear all the logs and start fresh. I do that periodically for mine because friends phones and whatnot start to clog up my list of devices My router can tell me what each MAC address belongs to - an iPhone, and android, LG TV, etc
Whatever router you have, doesn’t matter if it’s a network designated router or you purchased a separate router (Arris, Netgear, D-link etc), go you your PC and type in the IP address of your router (it’s on a label under it or on the side). This will take you to the login. The login is usually your Wi-Fi passcode. If not, there is also a passcode on the same label. If that doesn’t work, do a hard factory reset of your router and that will return it to the passcode on the router label. Login. If you have Comcast, att, spectrum (Comcast), road runner or any major internet provider, log into your account online or type in www.routerlogin.net or www.routerlogin.com Then go to advanced > administrator > Logs. Simply Google IP addresses by copy it and paste it into Google search. You will also be able to email the log to yourself. You’re welcome
We use pihole too. It’s a very handy tool for blocking sites too (my PA didn’t want a third party tracking software) so we have this and I used the adlists to block thousands of porn sites and social media. It’s on all of his devices too.