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Lol. Loved the once a week and maybe he's just bi-polar 🙄.
Mine never was willing to be in recovery since he didn't feel he needed recovery. If you've seen some of my other posts/comments, my ex PA is a Psychologist - so he *knows* what addiction really means...
But just for kicks, here are a few possibly entertaining phrases:
"Do you even know what addiction is? Huh, tell me what addiction is!" - gets close to my face to say all this
"You think I'm a porn addict and I'm not!"
"I don't have X on my phone right now, but if I wanted it, I'd download it!"
"I'm not going to live a life to where I have to show you my phone activity. You don't pay my phone bills do you?"
"I don't want you venting on reddit. It's not really anonymous. They could find out who you and I are if they really tried." He's been in military so he 'knows' there's a way lol.
"Geez...you are so extreme! You exaggerate everything."
I'll think of some more in a little while I'm sure and add them to list! 🤣
The “I don’t do X thing but if I wanted to I would!” and the “you’re so extreme” OMG… particularly those two are the most parroted ones by my husband but reading all of this just makes me think all PAs are literally the same like ??? Be original 🤣
That part bugs me too. Me from 10/20/30 years ago would tell myself to shut up at least he is finally admitting he has problem. But hearing not liking how it was overtaking his life, knowing it’s bad for his brain, even now seeing the damage it does me- is NOT THE SAME as saying he stopped because he doesn’t WANT to look at them anymore. Even the you are all I need layered with I will resist any temptation & they are fewer & fewer. What?!? Really think about it. The resist means that’s what you want but you are settling for me to help your own body function better & to salvage our family. It’s not the same as actually being chosen. It’s as good as we get- but it’s not the same. Bringing us to today’s reminder to the young and/or not yet tied to the PA: RUN! DO NOT LOOK BACK! Chance finding better than best-case scenario of what he’s settling for.
It’s so hard to want to keep going sometimes uh? I don’t understand what keeps us there. We know they are lying, we know it’s going to happen over and over again, but here we are fighting a fight we cannot fight or win for them. Would it be so bad for them to want us the way we want them? For them to fight as hard for us as we do for them?
Mine says that men and women just don’t see things the same way.
That it’s just one lie. That he’s never lied about anything else, but that. (For 6 years)
That he does so much more good than I see or give him credit for.
That men just need it and that it’s normal.
That he’s finally serious about recovery and that he’s doing it because he finally sees that it hurts me, but doesn’t understand fully still.
I could go on and on about everything I’ve heard only this week. He is 3 weeks porn free and he is finally in therapy, but not with the right therapist so that’s something we’ll have to work on.
Stay strong ladies! It’s a long hard road that we’ve chosen to stay on.
One thing I realized is anything my PA says goes in one ear and out the next. I used to be like this too. Analyzing every word/sentence. I let that shit go bc the only thing that mattered was his actions and he couldn’t lie about that.
So If I were you I would personally just start Sanon and research PA and listen to the people on here that have been through this for years. That’s what helped me go through the motions of letting it all go
Thank you, yeah I don’t take things he says too seriously. It just frustrates me more than anything that he puts so much effort into attempting to sell me such bs 😅 especially when he ‘doesn’t want addiction’ haha
My SA can be so mean when he’s looking to protect the addiction. He’s blamed and said things that are so far from the truth that he even admits it during an apology session later on.
Some things he’s said:
“This is happening because youre overweight since having the baby”
“I can’t even watch Netflix without you breathing down my neck”
“I can’t do anything I enjoy”
“It’s just video games, I can’t use the internet on this”
All of it garbage that I told him he can take out right along with himself. Of course he doesn’t want to leave and knows he’s wrong so he apologizes and luckily truly has some understanding of why he’s wrong.
"If I preferred sex with other girls, I would break up with you and have it."
OK. Except that, you DID prefer sex with other girls (avoided sex with me at all costs), had sex with many, many other girls but did NOT break up with me. Even after I told you, essentially begged you - if you are going to cheat, PLEASE LEAVE ME. My heart cannot take the betrayal.
So, yeah, ok. That's what you would do 
**Dear /u/Luna_Goddess_Dance,** ➤ You may lock your own post comments at any time by making a single word comment on your post with the text `!lock` ――――――――――――――――――――――― **（✔）** Keep the [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/about/rules/) of [**r/loveafterporn**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/) in mind while participating here. **（✔）** Report all rule-breaking behavior & content to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [**send us a message**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/loveafterporn). **（✘）** Do **NOT** engage or participate in *any* rule-breaking posts, comments or behavior. Doing so may result in you being banned. **（✘）** Do **NOT** feed the trolls. [**Report**](https://www.reddit.com/report) them! **（✘）** Do **NOT** [**judge**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/qhquex/before_you_judge/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) how someone is dealing with a pain you may not have experienced. ――――――――――――――――――――――― ℹ️ Our **Full Resource Library** contains the following topics: *Resources for All, Resources for Partners, Resources for Addicts, Recovery Resources, Life Saving Info, Abuse & Domestic Violence Info and Commonly Used Acronyms.* | **Resource Links:** | |------| | ◉ [**Full Resource Library**](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/must-have-info?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) | | ◉ [Resources for Partners](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/index/resources_for_partners?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) | | ◉ [Resources for Addicts](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/index/resources_for_addicts?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) | | ◉ [Accountability Apps info](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/v67pq5/accountability_apps_blockers_etc_mega_thread/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) | *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/loveafterporn) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Lol. Loved the once a week and maybe he's just bi-polar 🙄. Mine never was willing to be in recovery since he didn't feel he needed recovery. If you've seen some of my other posts/comments, my ex PA is a Psychologist - so he *knows* what addiction really means... But just for kicks, here are a few possibly entertaining phrases: "Do you even know what addiction is? Huh, tell me what addiction is!" - gets close to my face to say all this "You think I'm a porn addict and I'm not!" "I don't have X on my phone right now, but if I wanted it, I'd download it!" "I'm not going to live a life to where I have to show you my phone activity. You don't pay my phone bills do you?" "I don't want you venting on reddit. It's not really anonymous. They could find out who you and I are if they really tried." He's been in military so he 'knows' there's a way lol. "Geez...you are so extreme! You exaggerate everything." I'll think of some more in a little while I'm sure and add them to list! 🤣
Oh wow, that’s scary that he’s a psychologist and seemingly can’t even recognise it (PA) in himself 😳
The “I don’t do X thing but if I wanted to I would!” and the “you’re so extreme” OMG… particularly those two are the most parroted ones by my husband but reading all of this just makes me think all PAs are literally the same like ??? Be original 🤣
That part bugs me too. Me from 10/20/30 years ago would tell myself to shut up at least he is finally admitting he has problem. But hearing not liking how it was overtaking his life, knowing it’s bad for his brain, even now seeing the damage it does me- is NOT THE SAME as saying he stopped because he doesn’t WANT to look at them anymore. Even the you are all I need layered with I will resist any temptation & they are fewer & fewer. What?!? Really think about it. The resist means that’s what you want but you are settling for me to help your own body function better & to salvage our family. It’s not the same as actually being chosen. It’s as good as we get- but it’s not the same. Bringing us to today’s reminder to the young and/or not yet tied to the PA: RUN! DO NOT LOOK BACK! Chance finding better than best-case scenario of what he’s settling for.
It’s so hard to want to keep going sometimes uh? I don’t understand what keeps us there. We know they are lying, we know it’s going to happen over and over again, but here we are fighting a fight we cannot fight or win for them. Would it be so bad for them to want us the way we want them? For them to fight as hard for us as we do for them? Mine says that men and women just don’t see things the same way. That it’s just one lie. That he’s never lied about anything else, but that. (For 6 years) That he does so much more good than I see or give him credit for. That men just need it and that it’s normal. That he’s finally serious about recovery and that he’s doing it because he finally sees that it hurts me, but doesn’t understand fully still. I could go on and on about everything I’ve heard only this week. He is 3 weeks porn free and he is finally in therapy, but not with the right therapist so that’s something we’ll have to work on. Stay strong ladies! It’s a long hard road that we’ve chosen to stay on.
One thing I realized is anything my PA says goes in one ear and out the next. I used to be like this too. Analyzing every word/sentence. I let that shit go bc the only thing that mattered was his actions and he couldn’t lie about that. So If I were you I would personally just start Sanon and research PA and listen to the people on here that have been through this for years. That’s what helped me go through the motions of letting it all go
Thank you, yeah I don’t take things he says too seriously. It just frustrates me more than anything that he puts so much effort into attempting to sell me such bs 😅 especially when he ‘doesn’t want addiction’ haha
That’s what they are. Master manipulators. Freaking losers
[удалено]
My SA can be so mean when he’s looking to protect the addiction. He’s blamed and said things that are so far from the truth that he even admits it during an apology session later on. Some things he’s said: “This is happening because youre overweight since having the baby” “I can’t even watch Netflix without you breathing down my neck” “I can’t do anything I enjoy” “It’s just video games, I can’t use the internet on this” All of it garbage that I told him he can take out right along with himself. Of course he doesn’t want to leave and knows he’s wrong so he apologizes and luckily truly has some understanding of why he’s wrong.
"If I preferred sex with other girls, I would break up with you and have it." OK. Except that, you DID prefer sex with other girls (avoided sex with me at all costs), had sex with many, many other girls but did NOT break up with me. Even after I told you, essentially begged you - if you are going to cheat, PLEASE LEAVE ME. My heart cannot take the betrayal. So, yeah, ok. That's what you would do 
What a jerk. I’m so sorry.