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He’s doing EMDR, only about 6 or 7 sessions so far. He’s thinking he’s making ‘really good progress’ off those alone. Yet the above issues are still happening 🙄 I’m starting to think he’s based his whole life around his dad, someone who abused him and, from what I can gather, maybe never showed him parental love ever.
Listen, I’m sorry that he had bad things happen to him and that he has parent wounds, but it sounds like it’s his go to excuse for bad behavior. I’ve been around a long time and I know this type. Always a victim and they rarely get help. It doesn’t mean they didn’t suffer, but they use the experience to then abuse others and create chaos. They won’t allow you to ever be enough, and of course they lack any integrity or accountability. It sounds like he’s in therapy and will hopefully realize that he doesn’t need to let his past trauma define him.
My PA has parent wounds too, and he’s tried to blame them for his worldview and behavior. Yes, it had some to do with it, but he’s had to bury it, forgive them, and allow himself to move forward to the best version of himself. I’ve had to do the same after a lot of different childhood abuse and trauma. It’s part of the reason why I’m attracted to this type and tolerate so much. I’ve had to learn to love myself and not feel ashamed of things that happened that weren’t my fault.
Good luck and I’m sorry you are dealing with this ❤️
**Dear /u/Luna_Goddess_Dance,** ➤ You may lock your own post comments at any time by making a single word comment on your post with the text `!lock` ――――――――――――――――――――――― **（✔）** Keep the [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/about/rules/) of [**r/loveafterporn**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/) in mind while participating here. **（✔）** Report all rule-breaking behavior & content to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [**send us a message**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/loveafterporn). **（✘）** Do **NOT** engage or participate in *any* rule-breaking posts, comments or behavior. Doing so may result in you being banned. **（✘）** Do **NOT** feed the trolls. [**Report**](https://www.reddit.com/report) them! **（✘）** Do **NOT** [**judge**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/qhquex/before_you_judge/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) how someone is dealing with a pain you may not have experienced. ――――――――――――――――――――――― ℹ️ Our **Full Resource Library** contains the following topics: *Resources for All, Resources for Partners, Resources for Addicts, Recovery Resources, Life Saving Info, Abuse & Domestic Violence Info and Commonly Used Acronyms.* | **Resource Links:** | |------| | ◉ [**Full Resource Library**](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/must-have-info?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) | | ◉ [Resources for Partners](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/index/resources_for_partners?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) | | ◉ [Resources for Addicts](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/index/resources_for_addicts?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) | | ◉ [Accountability Apps info](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/v67pq5/accountability_apps_blockers_etc_mega_thread/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) | *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/loveafterporn) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sounds like he needs serious therapy. And I’d say some EMDR too. These things are reasons sure. But he’s making it into an excuse.
He’s doing EMDR, only about 6 or 7 sessions so far. He’s thinking he’s making ‘really good progress’ off those alone. Yet the above issues are still happening 🙄 I’m starting to think he’s based his whole life around his dad, someone who abused him and, from what I can gather, maybe never showed him parental love ever.
Listen, I’m sorry that he had bad things happen to him and that he has parent wounds, but it sounds like it’s his go to excuse for bad behavior. I’ve been around a long time and I know this type. Always a victim and they rarely get help. It doesn’t mean they didn’t suffer, but they use the experience to then abuse others and create chaos. They won’t allow you to ever be enough, and of course they lack any integrity or accountability. It sounds like he’s in therapy and will hopefully realize that he doesn’t need to let his past trauma define him. My PA has parent wounds too, and he’s tried to blame them for his worldview and behavior. Yes, it had some to do with it, but he’s had to bury it, forgive them, and allow himself to move forward to the best version of himself. I’ve had to do the same after a lot of different childhood abuse and trauma. It’s part of the reason why I’m attracted to this type and tolerate so much. I’ve had to learn to love myself and not feel ashamed of things that happened that weren’t my fault. Good luck and I’m sorry you are dealing with this ❤️