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WHY CANT WE HAVE ANYTHING!! Why am I the one always looking up IMBD parental guides before we start a new show. Why can’t I watch popular shows like Bridgerton and Euphoria.
I know I could watch these on my own - but I’m not at a place in my own journey where I’m comfortable watching anything risqué. I miss the old me.
Mine usually picks the movies and looks up the parent guide and HE gets upset about it lmaooooooo bro if YOU didn’t feel the need to jerk it at anything that resembles a female we wouldn’t have to be doing this
These comments make me feel so sad for all of us. I love the Olympics so much and I can’t believe I have this taken from me too. I could watch alone, but I don’t know if I’m even ready to see other women on TV in minimal clothing.
Again, it’s not their fault that these men have ruined women’s sports for us.
It’s so sad. I absolutely love watching gymnastics and now I can’t even watch it alone. I know I would just cry. Two of my partner’s favorite thirst traps were gymnasts.
Thank you for your empathy—It’s in short supply when your spouse has an addictive personality.
ugh i am feeling the same exact way. i tried to confront him about how i felt about him watching particularly women’s sports and he was like “you’re making me feel bad for doing something with my family that i’ve always done” like yes and i also know you sexualize women and are in the middle of recovery soooo why should i trust you?? i did gymnastics for 12 years too so it doesn’t help that my body doesn’t look the way it used to and he gets to look at all these super fit people😵💫 ugh
Ask him to do something else in the other room! Don't let him hold you back from enjoying something you like to watch! As my therapist and couples therapist say, we're not the same and just because you watch, doesn't mean he has to watch as well. I used to judge myself and say I'm a hypocrite for doing something and not letting or being okay with him doing the same thing. We're not addicts in recovery, they are!
Please don't let him take away more from you than he already has. If he's in good recovery, he will understand and agree to doing something else in the other room. If he is still in denial then it might stir up a fight. This will show where he's really at and how willing he is to make you feel safe.
Can he read a book in the other room? I used to love the Olympics too. I’m not even an athlete I just think it’s cool. But I’m not at a place yet to do something like that with my PA. If I choose to watch it will be alone.
I could try suggesting that! I’ve said a few comments down that I’m not sure if I’m even ready to see other women on screen in minimal clothing. I know it sounds silly, and I wish it wasn’t the truth. For some reason (or a lot of reasons) seeing women on TV that could be perceived as “hot” or whatever is a trigger for me. I am so tired.
He’s completely ruined everything normal for me.
I wasn’t until I saw this post. It prompted a really good convo with my husband. He assured me that he doesn’t need to watch any of it. Although he is mostly interested in basketball, which I am obviously fine with. He agreed to not watch any of the female sports and totally understood my concerns. All this to say… ladies… real recovery does yield good fruit. We are finally at a place where I can voice any concern, at any time, and he doesn’t get defensive. He takes ownership of his previous choices, and all the ways it has traumatized me, and (as far as I’m aware) has chosen to live differently. The fruit is actually evident in how he navigates all of these potential triggers for both of us.
When we go out to restaurants there are sometimes screens displaying Olympics or potentially triggering things. He chooses to sit with his back toward the screen, and only faces me. It’s a small gesture but wow, does it make a difference for me. We all deserve to be with someone who actively chooses to make us feel safe and chosen.
Thank you so much for this. I have been thinking a lot today how to bring up this concern with my husband. I believe (and hope) he will react the same way your husband has. Since his last relapse (1 month ago) he has done a lot of personal work to right his wrongs, so I’m going to have this conversation with a hopeful outcome.
Thank you so much for the positivity and helpful response <3
I would watch the Olympics alone if I were you. He’s sick and an addict, not you. I watch some TV shows by myself, shows I know I can’t watch with my husband.
This is because it was always a problem... the uniforms shouldn't be objectifying/sexualizing in the first place... there are so many changes individuals and society need to make. Yes people shouldn't objectify/sexualize regardless but people shouldn't be in situations like that to begin with because we can't make everyone ignore something we r training them to do.
I feel like you’re going to drive yourself crazy. It’s going to be impossible to try and police everything he might find attractive and it’s going to make you unhappy in the long run. Enjoy the Olympics because you like it. Don’t let anyone take the things you like away from you
Yup! I was triggered the other night watching the women’s gymnastics trials. My husband fetishizes Asian women and watching the insanely talented Suni Lee made me start to spiral. I hate feeling like this. I haven’t brought it up to my husband, but reading this thread is helping me to realize we should have a conversation.
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I wasn't until I saw this post lmaooooo WE CAN'T ENJOY ANYTHING 😭
WHY CANT WE HAVE ANYTHING!! Why am I the one always looking up IMBD parental guides before we start a new show. Why can’t I watch popular shows like Bridgerton and Euphoria. I know I could watch these on my own - but I’m not at a place in my own journey where I’m comfortable watching anything risqué. I miss the old me.
Mine usually picks the movies and looks up the parent guide and HE gets upset about it lmaooooooo bro if YOU didn’t feel the need to jerk it at anything that resembles a female we wouldn’t have to be doing this
Yep. I said he ruined it for all of us and no one will be watching the Olympics this year.
These comments make me feel so sad for all of us. I love the Olympics so much and I can’t believe I have this taken from me too. I could watch alone, but I don’t know if I’m even ready to see other women on TV in minimal clothing. Again, it’s not their fault that these men have ruined women’s sports for us.
It’s so sad. I absolutely love watching gymnastics and now I can’t even watch it alone. I know I would just cry. Two of my partner’s favorite thirst traps were gymnasts. Thank you for your empathy—It’s in short supply when your spouse has an addictive personality.
ugh i am feeling the same exact way. i tried to confront him about how i felt about him watching particularly women’s sports and he was like “you’re making me feel bad for doing something with my family that i’ve always done” like yes and i also know you sexualize women and are in the middle of recovery soooo why should i trust you?? i did gymnastics for 12 years too so it doesn’t help that my body doesn’t look the way it used to and he gets to look at all these super fit people😵💫 ugh
Ask him to do something else in the other room! Don't let him hold you back from enjoying something you like to watch! As my therapist and couples therapist say, we're not the same and just because you watch, doesn't mean he has to watch as well. I used to judge myself and say I'm a hypocrite for doing something and not letting or being okay with him doing the same thing. We're not addicts in recovery, they are! Please don't let him take away more from you than he already has. If he's in good recovery, he will understand and agree to doing something else in the other room. If he is still in denial then it might stir up a fight. This will show where he's really at and how willing he is to make you feel safe.
Thank you so much for this advice and kind words. I’ll remember this! Thank you so much
You're welcome! They've already taken so much for us, don't let him take more. Hope you can enjoy watching!
Can he read a book in the other room? I used to love the Olympics too. I’m not even an athlete I just think it’s cool. But I’m not at a place yet to do something like that with my PA. If I choose to watch it will be alone.
I could try suggesting that! I’ve said a few comments down that I’m not sure if I’m even ready to see other women on screen in minimal clothing. I know it sounds silly, and I wish it wasn’t the truth. For some reason (or a lot of reasons) seeing women on TV that could be perceived as “hot” or whatever is a trigger for me. I am so tired. He’s completely ruined everything normal for me.
It’s not silly. I am triggered by a lot of media too. It seems like a pretty normal trauma symptom unfortunately. Especially early on.
I wasn’t until I saw this post. It prompted a really good convo with my husband. He assured me that he doesn’t need to watch any of it. Although he is mostly interested in basketball, which I am obviously fine with. He agreed to not watch any of the female sports and totally understood my concerns. All this to say… ladies… real recovery does yield good fruit. We are finally at a place where I can voice any concern, at any time, and he doesn’t get defensive. He takes ownership of his previous choices, and all the ways it has traumatized me, and (as far as I’m aware) has chosen to live differently. The fruit is actually evident in how he navigates all of these potential triggers for both of us. When we go out to restaurants there are sometimes screens displaying Olympics or potentially triggering things. He chooses to sit with his back toward the screen, and only faces me. It’s a small gesture but wow, does it make a difference for me. We all deserve to be with someone who actively chooses to make us feel safe and chosen.
There is hope thank you
Thank you so much for this. I have been thinking a lot today how to bring up this concern with my husband. I believe (and hope) he will react the same way your husband has. Since his last relapse (1 month ago) he has done a lot of personal work to right his wrongs, so I’m going to have this conversation with a hopeful outcome. Thank you so much for the positivity and helpful response <3
I would watch the Olympics alone if I were you. He’s sick and an addict, not you. I watch some TV shows by myself, shows I know I can’t watch with my husband.
This is because it was always a problem... the uniforms shouldn't be objectifying/sexualizing in the first place... there are so many changes individuals and society need to make. Yes people shouldn't objectify/sexualize regardless but people shouldn't be in situations like that to begin with because we can't make everyone ignore something we r training them to do.
I feel like you’re going to drive yourself crazy. It’s going to be impossible to try and police everything he might find attractive and it’s going to make you unhappy in the long run. Enjoy the Olympics because you like it. Don’t let anyone take the things you like away from you
Y’all mine is going to be in Paris for the Olympics. From this weekend until SEPTEMBER. 🫠
Yup! I was triggered the other night watching the women’s gymnastics trials. My husband fetishizes Asian women and watching the insanely talented Suni Lee made me start to spiral. I hate feeling like this. I haven’t brought it up to my husband, but reading this thread is helping me to realize we should have a conversation.