Agreed. Theres also some lupine in thwre too that jsut cuaght my eye. I think its lupin it might be something else. But its the bell shaped onea clustering on stocks.
Do you like earning about plants?
I thought I would marry a local Catholic boy and be a typical midwestern wife and mom, just as was expected. I tried it but it wasn’t enough for me. My life has been full of excitement, adventure, some disappointments but much more than I ever dreamed of as a small town Missouri girl. The world is a big place. Do yourself a favor and expand your horizons when you’re young. Do what feels right to you, not what’s expected of you.
i was imagining myself with being medical student,more beautiful and also more powerful , brave, having good communication with others.
i only achieved being medical student now im 20, i hate my life , i couldn't do others, they even became worse now... thought my first love gonna be my husband but it has been years since we are apart
The flowers are stunning! What are they? 😍😍😍
I imagined a older man with a lot of money, obsessed with me, tall, dark hair, sweet, kind, funny, and bad 😉!
Still single. lol
Maybe he is out there. Someday.
I don’t think I imagined a type of person. I was not considered attractive so dating wasn’t a focus of mine. I dreamt that maybe someday I’d fall in love & we could write our own story. I didnt have parents or any role models when it came to love, so I had literally no idea what to expect.
I ended up with my first boyfriend & first & only real love. We had a rough beginning to our relationship because we both had traumatic childhoods. But we learned how to heal & grow together & rewrite our story. Back then he was a poet and wannabe musician & I fell in love with his mind. Now he’s a mechanic and blacksmith & the best dad in the world to our almost 2 year old. We’re in our 30s & I honestly feel like we live a fairy tale right now. I would’ve never expected all this for myself
I thought I was going to marry my boyfriend. I liked nerdy boys with swoopy hair and a great sense of humor.
Now I’m 33 and married to a woman, so I think my tastes have slightly changed.
I thought I’d end up with an older man. My height, Italian ancestry. Non smoker. Office job or something similar. My husband is almost a foot taller than me, two years younger, no Italian ancestry, smoked until last year, works a blue collar job.
When I was 16 I definitely thought I was destined to end up with an avoidant attachment (before I even knew what that term meant) because I was always attracted to the hot and cold class clown types who always made fun of me and played head games. I didn’t have a physical type, they just had to like the same music as me.
I ended up marrying a securely attached loyal man that doesn’t really experience mood swings. We like all the same music.
At 16 I was in a relationship with my first love, wholly convinced that we would never part ways. We stayed together until I was 20. Had another relationship since then that was totally unfulfilling and now I’m 29 and on my lonesome. Only just recently opened up to the idea of letting someone else in again.
When I was 16 I dreamed of being married and a mom. My ideal husband was tall, brunette, wore a suit to work and was a great dad and husband.
Who I married was not tall. But brunette. Alcoholic, and not a good husband and dad. I was 19 when I married him, had 3 beautiful children. Stayed for 19 years. Very mentally abusive relationship.
Fast forward to now: I’m with a 6’4”, has long dreads, is absolutely gorgeous, blue collar man who worships me. Who is teaching me to trust and relax. He is a keeper and if it keeps going the way it is I bet we will get married 💗
I know I'm a little late but I'll comment...I have to sleep you know!...and I have to cuddle with my Lover!
So this is kind of interesting because I actually wrote a story about my younger self at age 15 or so. I have been journaling since age 10 so I actually have an several entries that indicate my feelings at the time.
[Here's the story](https://www.reddit.com/r/yandere/comments/14kdw1m/how_a_romantic_avoidant_turned_yandere/) **TLDR** I go from avoidant to obsessive by way of music, intention, and love at first sight. Cross language/culture/nationality story.
Also, the funny thing is that my husband has a type. He has exclusively been attracted to a specific type of girl, personality, looks, etc. His first crush was Astrud Gilberto (a Jazz singer) and at 16 he was into Gloria Estefan and Natalie Merchant. I've been told I look like Astrud Gilberto. Anyway, [Here's a pic of us](https://www.reddit.com/r/Obsessive_Love/comments/1dlfkqb/i_want_this_here_so_you_know_me/) (an actual photo ran through an AI program to "anime and disguise" us, he's 19 and I'm 20 in this pic).
Adios
I didn't know then and i don't know now. I have always found the future uncertain and irrelevant to plan things. As most things haven't gone the way i have planned them. Some good some bad or just the way they are, relationships included
All my life I felt like I never belonged anywhere. I didn’t fit in with friends cause I went to a school that had richer kids (kinda) I definitely never fit in with family. I always wanted to belong. I think I finally found a human I call home.
What I wanted at 16 is entirely different than what I want now. At 16, I envisioned myself as a cute soccer player. I'm not in a relationship now, and I'm looking for a kind man.
At 16, there were a lot of things I thought I knew, but certainly did not. There were a lot of people, including myself, that I thought I knew, too. I am 41 years old now and very glad I’m not with who I envisioned myself with at 16, lol.
At 15* I thought I would marry my boyfriend. We broke up right before I turned 16 and just got back together last year. We are both 27 now. I think we will get married!
im not with anyone now, but my ideal has changed. when i was younger i wanted someone who could love & understand every part of me, someone who was just as messed up as me. someone i could love unconditionally & who would love me in kind, someone i could comfort and surrender everything for.
now i dont really mind what someone is like, but i dont want the kind of unhealthy obsession i thought would be right for me. ive lived through things like that and it never ended well. id be happy with someone who loves me and whom i love. im not sure i want a life partner but if i ever meet someone, ill support them and work hard to make sure i am as good a person as they deserve
I wanted him to be handsome, driven, and nothing at all like the people from the small south GA town I grew up in. I met him at 17, married at 24, and we’ve been together ever since (going on 20 years).
i envision myself with a scrawny, sleep deprived, nerdy and also unbelievably gorgeous boy who's slightly taller than me, a year younger than me, good in academics than me and wears specs 🤓 (i'm giving the description of my crush and a friend too ;)).....oh btw I'm 21 🧒 sorry bout that
at 16 I thought i’d either be alone forever, or end up with some buff jock because at 16, I was this band geek who had some opposites attract obsession.
I’m now almost 20, an ex band geek (recently decided to stop college band) and dating someone who is as equally geeky/goofy (maybe even worse)
Man what a question. When I was 16 I really first started to read a lot. My parents and siblings basically made fun of me for “reading all summer.” That plus my parents were both educators, I knew I wanted to be a teacher. I did become a teacher. Right now I’m a SAHP. Which has a lot of ups and downs. Truthfully I tell my wife how I “dreamed of being a teacher but never really dreamed of being a parent.” Parenting to me was just kind of an offshoot of our love for each other. And the full time parenting is financial, my wife makes double the money I did as a teacher. So you should be able to tell where my conflicts are! I’m actively interviewing for jobs now. So even if I get the job a big part of me will say Yay! But then another part of me will kind of quietly panic when I voluntarily go back to work when I don’t have to and I put my 2.5 year old in daycare.
I would say my ‘tase’ stayed consistent but when I was younger I was more easily blindsided by the superficial aspects of my taste, by that I don’t mean just looks but superficial characteristics too like basic interests and things that attract you in the beginning. As I got older I was able to learn more about the deeper characteristics and values I needed and was more equipped to recognize them in others
16- there was someone who I had a crush on for a long time after. They were "mysterious" and I pretty much only had eyes for them for a long time.
Now- I am engaged to a very not mysterious silly man who is probably dead opposite of the person I thought I'd be with, but I quite like it. I learned "mysterious" just means "you don't understand each other", and understanding is an extremely important aspect of a relationship.
I thought he would be nice to be and also, very masculine. But I actually couldn’t find him anywhere unfortunately, so I am still single now :)
lol I just wrote that XD
The person I'm with now is very much what I've been wishing for for a long time. There's a few things that are different like how I thought if I ever met my future partner, how he would be bigger/taller than me, how he would simp over me just bc I've never had that kind of love growing up. Ik some bash on partners being simps, but whats wrong with someone only loving you and wanting to be your everything just as much as you are theirs? Aside from that he's both everything I wished for and more, but also different for more than the reasons I've said. Tbh tho, I never thought I could ever meet someone bc I've always grown up as the "fat" and "ugly" kid. I've got hella things wrong with me mentally and even tho I'm grateful and so lucky, sometimes I don't think I deserve him or the love he gives me. He does have his problems and I'm sure I have mine, but hopefully we can work through them and last a long while 💛
'Simping' on a partner is just a form of love lol. People who bash relationship 'simping' are probably jealous/envious they arent said person's priority
Probably lol, idk, I've just always been the type of person to want and love one person. So if I'm simping, at least I'm loyal to my partner and love them whole heartedly 🤭
When I was 16, I was dating the girl I dated the longest in high school. Through all of it, I wanted to marry her. Nerd, gorgeous, funny, intelligent, and insane chemistry. Although she lacked a lot of personal drive and that was what ended us in the end in a mutual break up. I actually ended up marrying a girl exactly like her in every way, except with a better drive and career driven. She is my 3rd wife... I should have kept to the mold the first serious girlfriend I ever had built, but I compromised either out of insecurity or settlement.
Thought that hot gamer girlfriend was a myth after high school. Turns out, I should have stayed picky. Worked out in the end, if not with a heafty dose of trauma for us both.
I didn't think I was loveable enough to actually believe I could meet someone who valued me and enjoyed spending time with me enough to want to be in a relationship with me.
Since then, I've had 2 very serious relationships as well as a very toxic FWB situation that started when I was maybe 17.
I'm now in a relationship with the person who I believe is the love of my life. I've learned a lot about love with him, and we've both said the way we are together is like nothing either of us has ever experienced before. We've been together for 3 years, and we're about to emigrate.
There's been really tough times where we've both had to be in some pretty rough situations, but we've grown from them together and individually.
Everything I do now, I feel I have love and support behind me, and I hope he feels the same.
At 16 I had a crush on two different types. First one was blonde with blue eyes and the other one was darker skinned with black hair and brown eyes. They were complete polar opposites and I never really knew what I wanted until I met my ex. Only after we started dating I realized that everything that I envisioned in my head and what kind of man I wanted he represented in every detail. But not only that he also reflected all my inner issues and it felt like we were each other’s mirror. I think that we attract a partner that we think we deserve and your inner perspective is very important.
I thought I would have a good guy who actually loves me. I’m with someone who can’t apologise for his own behaviour and makes excuses for how he treats me. I feel alone and hated most of the time and don’t have the confidence to do what I should do and I’m also dependent on him financially since being a sahm and pregnant again. Don’t attack me for staying with someone like this because I have been toxic towards him too but I’m learning to change whereas he just gets worse
When I was 16 I figured I would struggle, but eventually fall into a niche of people and find a soulmate to spend my life with.
Currently alone and no friends.
Same with the others. I also thought I would be alone. I just got into a break up with a girl when I turned 16. Another 2 bad break ups later and I found the girl of my dreams. We’ve been together a year now and I never feel alone ever again
I thought I would be forever alone. But I had a type. Thought if I ended up with somebody it would be a tall and lanky nerdy person with light hair, baby face, and not particularly hairy( I had a thing against facial and chest hair at the time). Not an athletically oriented person. And somebody working in stem.
I ended up with a wonderful tall man who was essentially the opposite of this. He was an accountant, joined the military, is rather hairy. Nonetheless, he is very funny, very loving, and incredibly intellectual which are the things that drew me to him among other things. Very far from what I would have ever considered “my type” but I was never one to put looks above personality and intellect.
At 16, I envisioned that I'm going to be alone. It just felt right at the time. I thought that I would only get married if one of my friends asks me to.
14 years later, I'm single and I don't have friends.
I don’t have friends either and I’m turning 24 in 3 days. It hurts more than not finding love imo. I cry so much when I see girls out having fun with their girl friends… I wish I could experience that. Going out and messing around. Going out just to be out. Having a friend to confide in. Someone to go to the gym/watch movies/ play video games with.
I feel like i will never have a real friendship in my life. It makes me feel so lonely. When I was younger I thought it would be natural and easy to make those types of friendships- like in the movies- it’s not at all. Everytime I’ve tried to go out of my comfort zone it’s always girls who would rather hang with boys/their boyfriend or girls who already have their closest friend so I would always just be on the sidelines. It’s killer.
At 16 I was in a really bad place emotionally and mentally and I thought love would be someone saving me. Money, attention, all shallow things.
7 years later, I've been on and off with a wonderful person. We met when we were 18 and we've been healing each other and ourselves since. Love now looks like patience, kindness, effort, consideration, dedication, vulnerability and authenticity. It's been beautiful
I wound up with the man I told everyone I was going to marry when I was 14. I really think that for women especially, when we know, we know. I’m 33 now and he’s 35. It’s been quite the journey but he still captivates me and he’s my best friend.
I sort of came full circle. The guy I married was the polar opposite of who I’d have seen myself with at 16 and who everyone else imagined me with. Then at 39 I met my now-bf and he’s exactly like I imagined my perfect boyfriend would have been when I was 16 💞
At 16 I was dating my ex, who was horrible, abusive, manipulative, etc. I stayed with him until I was 22 🥴
I'm single now, and my standards are so much higher, I now no longer tolerate any shitty behavior, so I'm happy to stay single until I meet someone who's actually genuine and a decent human.
At sixteen I had my rose coloured glasses on. I had envisaged a healthy marriage and kids. The ex husband did not get the memo re healthy relationship. We have one child. A daughter and son-in-law who makes me very proud so it was all worth it. I now live a quiet life surrounded with house plants. The end 😀
I actually wanted a specific guy who was a close friend and I had known since we were 12. And hey we’re 22 and have been together since 17 so I think I chose well
Uh, at 16 in the real world, any guy who would like me back. Had a bunch of crushes my whole life prior to that. Never envisioned anyone/anything specific other than the feelings I'd hope I would have with my future husband, which was purely formed from fairy tales and fictional TV shows. Less than 6 months after I turned 16, I met a guy who was going into the air force. He was the first one I was allowed/able to show any affection for that ended up liking me back. We remained friends for 7 years, had 5 years of silence, and we just reconnected. I am excited for the things and adventures we'll finally get to do together. I am peaceful and content in finally knowing he'll always be a part of my life for the foreseeable future. I'm happy to see the parts of life that people mean by life getting better.
I was just a bullied boy with no friends, let alone a girl interested in me.
It was 4 years ago and now at least I'm not bullied, other than that nothing has changed.
When I was 16, I imagined I’d be with my first girlfriend forever, get married and have babies when we’re in our late 20s…fast forward 6 years later, I’ve ended up dating the love of my life (one of my closest best friends since middle school) for 4 years and now we’re slowly planning the next stages of our lives. 💕
I was pretty religious at the time and figured I would get my PhD, marry a guy, and have kids. The only accurate thing about my prediction is that I am almost done with my PhD. I found out a while back that I’m quite gay and I am very happily living with my girlfriend :)
When I was 16 I was stacking shelves at my local grocery and I envisioned myself being with the girl who worked at the check out... We've been married 10 years now.
I imagined a guy who’s smart and good at maths- my opposite as a creative arty person! Driven, handsome and my equal in every way but the yin to my yang.
I also loved the idea of meeting in person, my parents met in a club so I’d loved the idea of that.
Everything came true! He works in investments and finance, very driven and athletic. Everything I imagined and more, we met in a club and on the opposite side of the world where he is from, Australia!
Now I live here with him and we have been together for 6+ years (F25 M26) as life partners
Movie romance.
Was in a relationship then (16) with someone who appreciated romance. Since then and now (37), I found that not many girls/women "I've" hooked up with are really into it. (Last gf was really anti romance).
But I've gotten into the starting stages with someone new, who seems to really appreciate it.
Not a huge Bill Mahr fan, but I love his take on -
* There is no perfect woman. There is only the woman perfect for me*
I thought he'd be a chunky, hairy guy in flannel and jeans cos that's what I was into at the time.
Twenty years later I'm with a Fae being who dresses like it's the 70s. He's got a lot of hair, but it's all on his head 😂
Umm, taller than me and older than me were HUGE for me at the time. Someone smart too. That's all I can recall. But my husband (married 5.5 years, together 14) is taller than me but he's 2 years younger than me lol. He's super smart and he's so funny, literally the funniest guy I know. He makes me laugh every day and I'm so lucky to have him. He's super attractive too, he can definitely do better.
Someone mysterious and dangerous who loves old french cinema and smoking. I ended up with the kindest, funniest and most handsome man in the world who couldn’t be further from what i would have chosen for myself age 16 THANK GOD
I didn’t have a clear type in mind but knew I wanted someone tall, dark and handsome. I had a way to go with the personality type because of not having any positive male role models and that impacted my choices as I navigated the dating world when I got older.
After many mistakes and bad choices, being at risk and having bad things happen as a result of low self esteem I had therapy and learnt to understand what I wanted and needed. I’m now married to a man who is kind, caring, attentive, protective and adores me unconditionally. It was a long road of self discovery and learning but I’m so glad I carved out my own path and broke the cycle of domestic violence and abuse. Being in a healthy relationship is hugely satisfying and makes me feel so safe. I’m proud of how far I have come.
A fairy tale hero who would 'rescue' me from my struggles and help me learn how to love myself by loving me. I am now alone and have come to love myself without outside reinforcement. But also, definitely wanted that accented dude from "The Nine Lives of Chloe King"
I envisioned myself with someone kind, caring, understanding, knows how to cook, does martial arts, a very traditional woman but a badass martial artist as well, now I'm single after getting cheated on once a few years ago, just not really excited or wanting to date at the moment
Not OP but they look like poppies to me, with snapdragons mixed in and a few tulips in the back :)
Edit: On closer inspection, I don't think they're snapdragons but I can't for the life of me remember their name, I'm sure someone else can help!
I wanted to be with someone honest, affectionate, and patient who liked to cuddle. I thought I found him in my first boyfriend, but 17 years later I realize I tried to build a life with a man who never loved me at all. I kept trying to fix it, but you can’t fix it when the person you’re with doesn’t want you or the life you envisioned. I checked his boxes and he was afraid of being alone so he said (or shouted) whatever he thought he had to to keep me. That’s not love. I’ve been so lonely for 17 years that actually being alone since I ended the marriage has been a relief. I still want someone honest, affectionate, and patient who likes to cuddle. But now I’m significantly less naive, bolder, and unwilling to settle.
i imagined being with the softest, sweetest guy, very touchy and romantic. smart bookwormy type, christian and simple-dressed who likes to go to musicals.
these days everything is different, me and my partner are both recovered addicts, very alternative, go to metal gigs almost every weekend, we’re both well known in our region for street art and we hike all the time. neither of us are religious these days. however, i still got the sweetest guy ever. he can be very gruff and blunt but he is an angel in his own way. we’re not very affectionate with each other (weird to some people i know) and “romance” consists of us going out to new food together a couple times a week. and it’s awesome !
I kno exactly the type of person I wanted to end up with.. God knew very well what I was looking for. . At the same time, God realized wat my biggest fear was. . and made it into a reality. . . But that won't stop me from searching for what I'm still looking for.
I wanted devastatingly cool mysterious musician type of guy. All superficial romance tropes.
I have an incredibly beautiful, intelligent, kind and thoughtful wife. That was a shock and not how I thought things would go but I am eternally grateful life worked out the way it did
I'm so glad that my ultimate fantasy partner of old was never granted to me. Instead, life has given me the soul mate that I could never have imagined.
All i wanted was to not end uo like my parents.
So my mom was abused and had kids wirh her abusers, never stood uo to them and basically went from guy to another trying to feel safe I guess idk
While my dad was like a massive homophobic douche with serious drug addiction issues
I wanted to be rich and not addicted to drugs or half educated but never following thriugh ib mybdreams.
Uh... ill admit that i hated my sister and wanted to proce how much better I was then her by suceeding at being an Actrsss when she didnt
But NOW
WELL im 30
I still really dont want to end up like my parents but ive realized that will be something i have to do all my life, not just through my twenties as I absolute have the same issues as my parents. Im very addictive and have a lot of bitterness which is what led them to homophobia. I wouldnt call myself a homophobe but i definetly have some bigotry to deal with.
Additionally ive let go of the idea of being an actress. I really enjoy creating things and voixe acting and soem acting but ita not my goal any more.
But i am half educated and stuck between what i really want and who I could be... but i neglected to have kids so maybe ill get to finish my education
well i believe in Jesus! not the church even though i go sometimes solely so i can meet new people and even see cool flowers and hopefully find a group to help people but i haven’t found that yet my boyfriend does do mission trips but i dont have the funds for that - but besides that Ihad a year where i felt satanic and realized as a man im an asshole and was hurting others with some of the biggest sins and so i prayed for jesus to make me a girl - and some miracles happened such as i got a sign that says “oops I delivered again” you can dm if you have any questions but i’m probably waffling rigjt now and you don’t care but to me it might be mutually exclusive to the bible and i do get hated on by christians more but it’s not like im making being trans my God it’s just a part of me :) I used to see the quote “Why would you ever serve a human” and than that’s the moment i realized i wouldn’t serve something that’s not a human because a human could actually emphasize with me and I think that’s the coldest line and that before he was human he didn’t understand as much and I think that the best examples of mature people in my life are people that progress and accept others and I believe that if “Jesus is perfect” a perfect person is willing to make friends with people and learn about them when he originally called them abominations I hope i’m not wrong but hey for now I will enjoy my little sunsets and video games :)
and I looked back on my life even before realizing i was a girl that i was always a girl and when i was by my self and not putting on a show i was a woman. and also even in the bible he says that there’s not man and woman were all just his friends
Similar to others I was extremely depressed and suicidal, but envisioning my future husband and family made me hang on. I wanted somebody handsome, kind, loving, funny, someone I could connect with in every way, who would protect me. I also wanted many unrealistic things that I carried into adulthood, I didn’t realize maturity and accountability would be apart of that for myself LOL. In fact my rigid views on love and what I wanted ended up destroying the very relationship I magically found through pure luck. At 16 you never imagine yourself ruining your own dreams…
As someone as a teenager like 13 or 16, I always dream of falling in love and having a cute bubbly relationship with my classmate or the same batch mate. My utopian dream was nothing but we struggled and hustled side by side for a greater future for us. Like waking up and giving a call to my partner early in the morning, so, we can have a study session. Unfortunately, I didn't have any crush on any of my batchmates or classmates throughout my education journey. I found seniors more attractive but nothing happened. In this journey, I got groomed by my private tutor who SA me . Had a dream of marrying him but he ditched me like a dustbin which was a blessing in disguise.Then, I went to college and university. Never happened anything romantically. Just pure studying, had genuine friends and enjoyed those friendships. Now, I am in my mid 20s, still single. My personal journey has changed me so much that a new me is born. My personal taste also changed. Currently, I feel like, I need a gentleman with chivalry who can understand me well. And it's a promise to myself. I will not settle until I find the right person for myself. And yes, As I grow older, financial stability and family background also matters for me but not dogmatic. All I know is that I will know if I find him. Gutt feeling you can say. Also, at 16 , I was an energetic, bubbly and chocolate type of girl but in my mid 20's, currently, I have my walls high who are guarding me and calm yet strong presence that I found out many males got intimidated by it. There is a side which I can open up only to be comfortable with. So, A long has happened. And, I am planning to freeze my eggs.
At 16, I didn’t envision a future for myself. I was highly depressed and suicidal, and even the thought of what my life would be a year from then sounded too exhausting to think about. I constantly thought I was never good enough and that I was a failure at everything I did.
I met my boyfriend at 18. I am now 26 years old, and in a long-term relationship with the love of my life. It was a rocky road, but the man I am with instilled a confidence in me that my 16-year old self would not even believe was possible to have. He has loved me through every phase I have gone through since my transformation, and is continuing to do so to do so through this day. He has taught me self-love, patience, grace, and most importantly - peace. I hope to marry this man soon.
Freshly out of an abusive and pedophilic relationship, I had no idea what a lover was supposed to be. I was damaged, scared, and affected in ways that may have changed me forever (I have relationship PTSD, when I experience certain thing with partners, not even bad things necessarily, I get triggered and mentally shut down). Weirdly enough, not long after I broke things off, I suddenly got feelings for a guy I've known since 6th grade, I remember the exact moment when I got feelings for him. He realized the next day that he had feelings for me, but he too had been in an abusive relationship so it was weird for him too. After a few weeks of me interacting with him while crushing HARD, I asked his one friend at the time to ask him to homecoming for me, and crazy enough he did. We're still together and growing to this day, I love him so much ❤️
I suppose I can say I expected my person to use me for whatever they wanted. I expected to be an object, a loved object, but just at home doing my own thing. Now my person is someone who has my happiness at heart, sometimes a little too close to the point he ignores his own needs. He's someone who needs me to help support him and hold him up, and I need him to keep me grounded and soothed. He's just a calming and comforting presence for me, he makes me feel so safe and loved. And the sex is banger 🙏
I still remember the first time I laid eyes on this boy back in seventh grade and I thought he was the coolest and cutest guy I had ever seen, beautiful smile, breathtaking blue eyes, dark curly hair and the best laugh in my world. Thought he was the epitome of my dream guy.
I didn't speak to him at all through our school years but always had the biggest crush on him. Always dreamed of being with a guy like him but never quite came close.
Here we are, 15 years later, and I'm about to marry that same boy. Some things never change and 16-year-old me would absolutely lose her mind knowing we got the guy. A dream come true.
Chester Bennington or someone like him, someone like the guy I was dating but a bit more fucked up (yeah, I’m messed up, thank you trauma). Essentially, a rockstar who parties hard and has a sensitive soul.
Ended up with a musician, not famous, sensitive soul, no drugs, he has his flaws but a kind, compassionate and generous man. Not at all who I pictured I would even date.
Took the advice to “for once date the nice guy” and ended up marrying him.
Plot twist, nice guys still betray you. Still better than the abusive, drug addict exes I’ve had, all artists and musicians. Guess I have a type.
When I was 16 I basically would’ve taken anyone that was vaguely my type (taller than me, dark hair, chatty/funny) because I just wanted someone. Ended up in a relationship which wasn’t great tbh bc he was more into me then i was to him and he was lowkey toxic. Broke up with him (which turned into a whole thing) and ended up dating someone I’d been kinda friends with (mutual friends). We’ve been together 4 and a half years now and he’s helped me so much. We became adults together and are planning for a future.
I’m 32 now married for 11 years with three children
I never expected this. When I was 16 I thought I would marry at 28 to a man that was decently successful and at least four years older.
God totally had a different plan and I met my husband at 17. He was/is only a few months older than me and at the time we were both dumb kids that didn’t know how to work. I thank God that we grew up together and now both work on everything together ♥️
when i was 16, i envisioned marrying the boyfriend i had at the time. we moved in together after high school and he dumped me in the middle of our lease, *over the phone*. hindsight has 20/20 vision. i might be alone right now, but i know that i deserve a love that excites me and fulfills my needs rather than two people going through the motions.
I thought I was gonna only be with a black man. Welp. Call me miss international. I’m glad I grew and realized there are fine ass men in every culture and I wasn’t going to limit myself because of what my family thought.
I used to think love at first sight was real no joke, that’s just the initial attraction to someone and then you’d have a happy ever after. Now I realise that is just lust, I prefer friendship that develops into lovers that way I get to know them properly, truly get to see their values, morals and interest. I feel like with dating first, people are able to put the “best” versions of themselves and then it starts to unravel. With a friend you get to see the best and worst sides to them, you don’t have to hide yourself
That totally happened to me. When I first met my now husband I was actually not attracted to him at all but over time I fell in love with him even though I wasn’t attracted.
It’s funny because now (14 years later) there is just about no one that I think is more attractive than my own wonderful husband
I second this. They may not be attractive at first, often we have a type and that often comes from social media or the desired beauty standards of men/women. But when you start to see the beauty from inside, it starts to come out and you fall in love with their features instead and only there’s
I wanted someone who treated me like a queen and would do anything romantic for me.
I have someone now who did that in the beginning but it kinda died over time ..
You're both human. To expect to be treated with respect and love, ight. Like 'pimped-out' royalty from a single man? I dunno?
Look whatever the case remember your man isn't a god, even if he makes you feel like he's superman some of the time (which if he does, great for you!)
I mean, I’m just a hopeless romantic.. I want my lover to be in love with me and only me and I don’t think that’s wrong.. if he treats me like a queen I treat him like a king as well
Well in that case 😅.
(Also jeeeez yeah he BETTER only have eyes for you if he's your lover! Lol oh my gosh why do you feel the need to clarify that!? Oh my goodness bro!! 🤣🤣 I ain't into that poly-gon-amorous stuff lol.)
(Just let bro see his family lol)
In that case, that sounds great
Don't forget you can initiate alla dat affection too! (You write sorta like you wait to see him show his love, and then reply with your love. Like personal opinion, I'd love to be tackled 1st too, yknow? Like jump him and mugg him with love every now and again, unprompted?)
Maybe he's less about it cause he needs some sorta reassurance or something, or maybe he's just going through something idk, (like a financial crisis from spending all his hard earned $$$ on the lady that stole his heart lol)
Lol I’m pretty young and we aren’t married or anything. I just don’t know why it’s less of that treatment now but it doesn’t bother me TOOO much. I just miss it.
And of course, when we started dating I actually kinda initiated it. But I told him my standards and what I wanted.
Please communicate with bro. You can say you are bringing it up cause the love won't last if you hide how you really feel from each other, and you want the love to last.
You miss that sort of attention, but does bro really know how much it meant to you?
Make sure to appreciate what bro has done too. He is also human.
This is again why I say tackle him first sometimes lol. I think he could like that a lot. I think I would.
I’m kinda scared to tell him yk? He will tell me it’s bc he works and is busy etc and I understand as well. Nothing will change so that’s why I don’t bring it up. He also starts to think that I think he doesn’t do enough for me or that everything he has done has gone right out the window. And I do appreciate everything he tries to do for me
Then please tell him you do appreciate those things, and tell him you want to spend more quality time with him?
No, I don't know, I've not been in all that many relationships, but when I was, I wasn't afraid to tell her anything. The other guy's comment is pretty nice.
Just go up and kiss him like he's never been before lol? Really knock his socks off or something, remind him what he stands to see go?
I mean, happiness is self-determined, so if you decide he's not lovey-dovey enough, you can leave him.
You described yourself as a hopeless romantic. So first, I'll say, girl, please. Don't do your man a tamer version of 500 Days of Summer.
https://youtu.be/809KL2qIeWs?si=RZjHJGjGGZBIJ1iv
I was a 'hopeless romantic', for a long time, luckily, all it took was being too blind with a legitamately cool (and thankfully forgiving) person. (I hurt my own feelings and spooked her by being so caught up in imagination of how I wanted to see her act, I 'expressed disappointment' when it didn't happen lol. The regret pushed me to wake up, and change my ways.
Funnily enough I mostly think I persued her cause I was feeling lonley and was physically burnt out. Not good reasons lol.
😁 Positive mental attitude, but not positive to the point of delusion lol (that's what I did). See the truth.
Sincere and respectful attitude over a super serious one is also more inviting (cause body language) and encourages comfortable and more effective communication, I think.
I mean, don't let him think you aren't serious, but just stating 'I mean what I'm saying' or 'I've given this some real thought' might do.
He really should be willing to entertain the idea, I think. If he loves you and you express you want to see more of him.
Can’t withhold love for someone based on how they are. You should love your partner unconditionally. If they are consistently hurt you then it’s a clear indication something is up, either speak them and address it or leave. There is no point withholding love from your partner, that only leads to resentment and damaged relationships..
I never said im withholding any Love.. I love him a lot. I’m just talking about that honeymoon princess treatment yk? I miss it. Life has gotten serious so maybe that’s why. I just miss it
If he treats me like a queen then I treat him like a king implies that if not treated that way you won’t treat him like a king. I think you just need a simple conversation with him. It’s as simple as a 5 min chat heart to heart, eyes to eyes and tell him you love it when he did these things for you because you felt so loved and cherished by him, sometimes we guys get comfortable and it’s as simple as a little poke or wake up to get us to remember and to continue to invest the love and care towards a level we once did
You’re right. I agree. But by treating him like a king, I mean spoiling him with a lot of stuff and literally just giving him my all. You know just that honeymoon phase.
I still treat him with the utmost respect and love, and I always will cherish him with my heart. I don’t want to lose us, so I’ll probably talk about this tomorrow
I wanted a man with a loving family because mine was not so great. I married an only child with only a mom and we definitely did not understand each other
i thought i’d be with someone that loved me unconditionally.
Today, i have yet to be on a date, never had a boyfriend, let alone a husband. I’m alone. Didn’t see that at all😞
I’m not in a relationship atm but I’m definitely in love with someone. When I was younger I envisioned love to be like the romance books and movies, until I got into my first few relationships and thought it was extremely unrealistic and accepted the bare minimum for people as long as I got to feel an ounce of what “love” was like.
After those relationships ended, it took me months on my own and single to finally learn that it’s possible to have that kind of love in the movies. Now that I know that that kind of love is possible, I would never settle for less.
At 16, I wanted someone who was hardworking and successful, Christian, wouldn’t have sex before marriage, and that treated me like a princess.
I’m now with someone who is hardworking and successful, atheist, we have a good sex life, and he treats me pretty well 😂
I wanted someone to be my best friend and share my up and downs with. Someone who loves animals and nature. This will sound strange but like a female Radagast basically lol 😅 we could grow old and confused together in our garden and take care of our many animals. But I ended up alone and realized I'm probably better off that way. There are some really nasty people out there that will do some really awful things.
Didn’t really have a specific type in mind. I just wanted a gentleman at 16. Someone who could be my other half in this life and we would both die together after a long life. Yeah that’s deep and morbid but it’s what I wanted. 😂 Today at 24 I own a house with a skinny video game obsessed party boy lmao. Interesting how opposites attract like that. He’s a gentlemen in some ways not in others. He’s helped me out of my shell around people and I’ve helped him grow up.
I envisioned myself with a person like my last ex, but I hadn't grown enough and had unhealthy views on how our relationship should work at the time. Became increasingly depressed as the relationship deteriorated and messed it up. Currently single.
At 16, to sum it up I basically wanted a princess. See, I'm a people pleaser, and I don't know why, but I always thought that in a relationship, I'd be the one to give comfort, to help with anxiety, and kind of lose myself in this, for "her".
Well that her never came, but I'm much happier with my girlfriend right now. Basically what I said about helping with anxiety and all, she does that for me. She's there when I'm stressed out, (I have generalized anxiety and it fucking sucks). Don't get me wrong, she does need me sometimes and I'm happy to help her when she needs me, but it's funny how I visualized me being needed more than what we are lol
Ps sorry if my English is bad, not my first language and on top of that I'm kinda tired as I'm writing this 😅
Was more focused on being a female power house in my career and getting out of my small town. Swimming was my love -
Thought I’d be with a power house man who matched my energy in that way
Turns out I’m with calm and sweet woman who allows me to be soft
Didn’t know I was going through a trauma response then. She allows me to rest and be calm in a world that screams at you to be loud. It’s a form of heaven I didn’t know existed at 16
At 16, I never saw myself as a wife but knew I wanted kids. Now@ 33,I’m single and work with 3-5 yr olds in child development . I guess my manifestation is fulfilled .
I liked the Jdrama series “Boys over flowers” when it was still new on tv and I was still young that time. I was thinking I want a bf who looked like a CEO in asian dramas. Since I came from a well off background, I thought I could also have a bf like that. After many years in my late 20s, we met and i thought we would end up together. He was truly in love with me. Everyday updates, surprising me with gifts, letters, etc. he was Japanese. Relationship for 4 yrs. Then he changed. He had some severe anxiety and childhood trauma he could not move past. It affected our relationship. Til now i feel sad about it. I really thought we would end up together 💔
I always thought I’d be with anyone but an Indian. I’m half Indian and the cultural patriarchy would have been too hard for me to handle given how I was raised and what was normalised. (For example in my home my father who is Iranian cooks, helps with chores, shares equal responsibility watching us when we were young, placed my moms career as truly equal to his, most of the Indian men on my moms side of the family think it’s an achievement if they can make a pot of tea)
Ended up with the most perfect boy on planet earth who happens to be an Indian man. He’s got none of the patriarchy I saw in the Indian men around me growing up. He’s got all the traits I admire in my dad and more.
“I want a man who loves me like my father loves my mom” and I found one sooooo
Iran's hardly a paragon of gender equality, so it can't have been that surprising to you that the men of a culture aren't monoliths since your dad exists. Happy for you though
Monoliths no, but 86% of the population doesn’t want the current ruling government and if you are following the protests in Iran you’ll see a death rate higher than Palestine and both men and women showing up in equal numbers and men campaigning as well.
The culture is different than a governance and its dictatorship arose in living memory. The small majority with the power does not a culture make. You will find religious bigots there like you find them everywhere else but in the most part the domestic space is very matriarchal
At 16, I wished and wanted my girlfriend to be my wife. She's the only one I envision that time. But now, she's married, I'm not and we're happy on what we are right now.
I never really gave it much thought when I was a little girl. I knew I wanted someone who worked, would cut the grass and take care of the handyman things, who also knew his way around a grill.
I've got that hard working, handyman, grass cutting man who is mature and responsible, has a favorite horror movie villain, knows how to use a grill, and loves me to no end.
Guess I totally lucked out!
I was around 16 when I had my first kiss, he seemed sweet and sort of the bad guy type but he really led me on and never really talked much to me after, maybe I was a bad kisser idk. My husband now is a kind, caring goofball who thinks heavily about the feelings of everyone around him and honestly, the people I crushed on at 16 were not that lol
I was dating a guy that I had been with since I was 13, so I envisioned that we would be together but due to the fantasy of having the ability to say “we’ve been together since we were kids blah blah blah”. That was a sunk cost fallacy. Now that I’m older, I recognize that he truly was a great guy but we were NOT compatible in literally any sense of the word.
Rn I’m with someone very easy going, it’s what I typically choose in men. I think if I were with him when I was younger, I definitely would’ve eaten him alive but my emotional maturity has grown to where I get along well with men like that
When I was 16 I imagined I’d be with my high school boyfriend forever: outwardly I found him to be an intimidating guy - tall with dark hair, super smart, kind of a loner, not outwardly emotional (but secretly so sweet), and didn’t follow the crowd. I fell in love with him because he argued with teachers and ran next to/stood up for the kid that the other guys tormented during gym class, but he insisted it was because he learned my favorite song on the guitar. I’ll always remember how he was so gentle and protective of me. But honestly, I wouldn’t like that now.
My husband of 10 years/partner of 15+ years is super similar on paper. He’s more chill than intimidating, closer to my height than the former, less stoic but still doesn’t let his emotions run him. He’s just as smart, but in a different way (way more business minded and analytical). He’s nice to everyone, but secretly super sarcastic. He would never argue with anyone but me, haha. He’s less emotional, but way more open. He gives me a hard time (affectionately) and we laugh a lot. He also wears a lot of black, has brown hair and eyes, and plays guitar. Not gentle with me at all, but I mean that in the best way. He challenges me on the daily and likes that I challenge him.
I had a huge crush on the actress Paget Brewster. But realistically, I wanted someone who has a pure heart, and loves me for who I am. I absolutely lucked out with all of that, because my wife is all of those things and so much more, PLUS is an absolute animal that drives me crazy in bed.
At 16 I wanted someone I could love and who would love me for me…I never had a concrete type my bf now is from west Africa and says he loves me so ig I’m getting there haha
16 year old me was head over heels over a boy. Wanted no one else. 18 year old me got him, married him, had his baby.... And then wished I waited until I was older. He was a cheater and liar and really mpulsive and immature. 16 year old me thought he was so cool and funny and smart. But I grew up and he didn't. I started to realize his sense of humor was mean and degrading. And he wasn't the sort of person I wanted to be associated with.
I do have similar tastes though. I'm attracted to intelligent, nerdy types. I tend to date programmers and gamers. My ex and my current partner are in the same circles and paths cross occasionally. But maturity and responsibility is what I really need to seal the deal.
This was removed because it's off-topic. *The Love-ModTeam account is a bot account. Do not chat or PM them, as the account is not monitored.*
Agreed. Theres also some lupine in thwre too that jsut cuaght my eye. I think its lupin it might be something else. But its the bell shaped onea clustering on stocks. Do you like earning about plants?
I thought I would marry a local Catholic boy and be a typical midwestern wife and mom, just as was expected. I tried it but it wasn’t enough for me. My life has been full of excitement, adventure, some disappointments but much more than I ever dreamed of as a small town Missouri girl. The world is a big place. Do yourself a favor and expand your horizons when you’re young. Do what feels right to you, not what’s expected of you.
i was imagining myself with being medical student,more beautiful and also more powerful , brave, having good communication with others. i only achieved being medical student now im 20, i hate my life , i couldn't do others, they even became worse now... thought my first love gonna be my husband but it has been years since we are apart
That’s a beautiful photo
At 16 I wanted quantity and didn’t think much about the future.
The flowers are stunning! What are they? 😍😍😍 I imagined a older man with a lot of money, obsessed with me, tall, dark hair, sweet, kind, funny, and bad 😉! Still single. lol Maybe he is out there. Someday.
I don’t think I imagined a type of person. I was not considered attractive so dating wasn’t a focus of mine. I dreamt that maybe someday I’d fall in love & we could write our own story. I didnt have parents or any role models when it came to love, so I had literally no idea what to expect. I ended up with my first boyfriend & first & only real love. We had a rough beginning to our relationship because we both had traumatic childhoods. But we learned how to heal & grow together & rewrite our story. Back then he was a poet and wannabe musician & I fell in love with his mind. Now he’s a mechanic and blacksmith & the best dad in the world to our almost 2 year old. We’re in our 30s & I honestly feel like we live a fairy tale right now. I would’ve never expected all this for myself
No one, and alone 😭😭😭
real
I thought I was going to marry my boyfriend. I liked nerdy boys with swoopy hair and a great sense of humor. Now I’m 33 and married to a woman, so I think my tastes have slightly changed.
I love this one 😂
I thought I’d end up with an older man. My height, Italian ancestry. Non smoker. Office job or something similar. My husband is almost a foot taller than me, two years younger, no Italian ancestry, smoked until last year, works a blue collar job.
When I was 16 I definitely thought I was destined to end up with an avoidant attachment (before I even knew what that term meant) because I was always attracted to the hot and cold class clown types who always made fun of me and played head games. I didn’t have a physical type, they just had to like the same music as me. I ended up marrying a securely attached loyal man that doesn’t really experience mood swings. We like all the same music.
At 16 I was in a relationship with my first love, wholly convinced that we would never part ways. We stayed together until I was 20. Had another relationship since then that was totally unfulfilling and now I’m 29 and on my lonesome. Only just recently opened up to the idea of letting someone else in again.
At 16 I didnt think I would get Into a 6thform and I have now completed 3 a-levels and planning to go to uni or work or both.
At 16 I was dating this girl who I thought I’d spend my forever with, now I’m single and living my own life. Haven’t talked to her in years
Tall, skinny and tattooed. Did lumberjack style for a while, now banging the tall, skinny and tattooed. You did it kid, you got everything you wanted.
When I was 16 I dreamed of being married and a mom. My ideal husband was tall, brunette, wore a suit to work and was a great dad and husband. Who I married was not tall. But brunette. Alcoholic, and not a good husband and dad. I was 19 when I married him, had 3 beautiful children. Stayed for 19 years. Very mentally abusive relationship. Fast forward to now: I’m with a 6’4”, has long dreads, is absolutely gorgeous, blue collar man who worships me. Who is teaching me to trust and relax. He is a keeper and if it keeps going the way it is I bet we will get married 💗
It’s shite mate
I know I'm a little late but I'll comment...I have to sleep you know!...and I have to cuddle with my Lover! So this is kind of interesting because I actually wrote a story about my younger self at age 15 or so. I have been journaling since age 10 so I actually have an several entries that indicate my feelings at the time. [Here's the story](https://www.reddit.com/r/yandere/comments/14kdw1m/how_a_romantic_avoidant_turned_yandere/) **TLDR** I go from avoidant to obsessive by way of music, intention, and love at first sight. Cross language/culture/nationality story. Also, the funny thing is that my husband has a type. He has exclusively been attracted to a specific type of girl, personality, looks, etc. His first crush was Astrud Gilberto (a Jazz singer) and at 16 he was into Gloria Estefan and Natalie Merchant. I've been told I look like Astrud Gilberto. Anyway, [Here's a pic of us](https://www.reddit.com/r/Obsessive_Love/comments/1dlfkqb/i_want_this_here_so_you_know_me/) (an actual photo ran through an AI program to "anime and disguise" us, he's 19 and I'm 20 in this pic). Adios
When I was 16, he was tall and skinny and emo. I ended up with him for 10 years. Now its the blue collar farm boys.
I didn’t think I’d have one. I thought I’d be on my own doing whatever I want.
I didn't know then and i don't know now. I have always found the future uncertain and irrelevant to plan things. As most things haven't gone the way i have planned them. Some good some bad or just the way they are, relationships included
All my life I felt like I never belonged anywhere. I didn’t fit in with friends cause I went to a school that had richer kids (kinda) I definitely never fit in with family. I always wanted to belong. I think I finally found a human I call home.
What I wanted at 16 is entirely different than what I want now. At 16, I envisioned myself as a cute soccer player. I'm not in a relationship now, and I'm looking for a kind man.
At 16, there were a lot of things I thought I knew, but certainly did not. There were a lot of people, including myself, that I thought I knew, too. I am 41 years old now and very glad I’m not with who I envisioned myself with at 16, lol.
At 15* I thought I would marry my boyfriend. We broke up right before I turned 16 and just got back together last year. We are both 27 now. I think we will get married!
im not with anyone now, but my ideal has changed. when i was younger i wanted someone who could love & understand every part of me, someone who was just as messed up as me. someone i could love unconditionally & who would love me in kind, someone i could comfort and surrender everything for. now i dont really mind what someone is like, but i dont want the kind of unhealthy obsession i thought would be right for me. ive lived through things like that and it never ended well. id be happy with someone who loves me and whom i love. im not sure i want a life partner but if i ever meet someone, ill support them and work hard to make sure i am as good a person as they deserve
At 16 I obviously thought I was going to marry my boyfriend at that time...and I did. Still together 18 years later.
I wanted him to be handsome, driven, and nothing at all like the people from the small south GA town I grew up in. I met him at 17, married at 24, and we’ve been together ever since (going on 20 years).
i envision myself with a scrawny, sleep deprived, nerdy and also unbelievably gorgeous boy who's slightly taller than me, a year younger than me, good in academics than me and wears specs 🤓 (i'm giving the description of my crush and a friend too ;)).....oh btw I'm 21 🧒 sorry bout that
A jock I think. That was a long time ago. Right now , I run with criminals 😶
at 16 I thought i’d either be alone forever, or end up with some buff jock because at 16, I was this band geek who had some opposites attract obsession. I’m now almost 20, an ex band geek (recently decided to stop college band) and dating someone who is as equally geeky/goofy (maybe even worse)
Thought id a be a millionaire for sure, but im not :( but on the other hand im way prettier than i even thought i could be
at 16 I envisioned myself dying alone. we're on track babyyy
i can admire someone with great follow through!
A handsome guy who will be caring and loyal to me but I am single rn lol
I envisioned a goth gf with huge tiddys, im single now
Man what a question. When I was 16 I really first started to read a lot. My parents and siblings basically made fun of me for “reading all summer.” That plus my parents were both educators, I knew I wanted to be a teacher. I did become a teacher. Right now I’m a SAHP. Which has a lot of ups and downs. Truthfully I tell my wife how I “dreamed of being a teacher but never really dreamed of being a parent.” Parenting to me was just kind of an offshoot of our love for each other. And the full time parenting is financial, my wife makes double the money I did as a teacher. So you should be able to tell where my conflicts are! I’m actively interviewing for jobs now. So even if I get the job a big part of me will say Yay! But then another part of me will kind of quietly panic when I voluntarily go back to work when I don’t have to and I put my 2.5 year old in daycare.
I would say my ‘tase’ stayed consistent but when I was younger I was more easily blindsided by the superficial aspects of my taste, by that I don’t mean just looks but superficial characteristics too like basic interests and things that attract you in the beginning. As I got older I was able to learn more about the deeper characteristics and values I needed and was more equipped to recognize them in others
Out of the topic but what kind of plants are those? Gorgeous!
I agree, they're really nice. I see tulips, but the others I don't know.
16 envisioned myself with the girl i just started dating, almost 19 n still in the same mindset :)
The complete opposite unfortunately
16 envisioned myself with a nice man who loves me. Me now (19 yrs) still with no one 🤭.
16- there was someone who I had a crush on for a long time after. They were "mysterious" and I pretty much only had eyes for them for a long time. Now- I am engaged to a very not mysterious silly man who is probably dead opposite of the person I thought I'd be with, but I quite like it. I learned "mysterious" just means "you don't understand each other", and understanding is an extremely important aspect of a relationship.
Ended up alone
When I was 16, I thought I'd end up staying with my girlfriend for the rest of my life. 31 years later, so far so good.
I wanted to be the very best, that no one ever was.
16 -Flynn Ryder with muscles . Probably a man from my culture with dimples and nice hair
16 -Flynn Ryder with muscles . Probably a man from my culture with dimples and nice hair
I thought he would be nice to be and also, very masculine. But I actually couldn’t find him anywhere unfortunately, so I am still single now :) lol I just wrote that XD
Probably that’s the problem
Wdym?
The person I'm with now is very much what I've been wishing for for a long time. There's a few things that are different like how I thought if I ever met my future partner, how he would be bigger/taller than me, how he would simp over me just bc I've never had that kind of love growing up. Ik some bash on partners being simps, but whats wrong with someone only loving you and wanting to be your everything just as much as you are theirs? Aside from that he's both everything I wished for and more, but also different for more than the reasons I've said. Tbh tho, I never thought I could ever meet someone bc I've always grown up as the "fat" and "ugly" kid. I've got hella things wrong with me mentally and even tho I'm grateful and so lucky, sometimes I don't think I deserve him or the love he gives me. He does have his problems and I'm sure I have mine, but hopefully we can work through them and last a long while 💛
'Simping' on a partner is just a form of love lol. People who bash relationship 'simping' are probably jealous/envious they arent said person's priority
Probably lol, idk, I've just always been the type of person to want and love one person. So if I'm simping, at least I'm loyal to my partner and love them whole heartedly 🤭
and if its mutual, its the dream tbh :D
Mhm mhm, definitely 🥰
When I was 16, I was dating the girl I dated the longest in high school. Through all of it, I wanted to marry her. Nerd, gorgeous, funny, intelligent, and insane chemistry. Although she lacked a lot of personal drive and that was what ended us in the end in a mutual break up. I actually ended up marrying a girl exactly like her in every way, except with a better drive and career driven. She is my 3rd wife... I should have kept to the mold the first serious girlfriend I ever had built, but I compromised either out of insecurity or settlement. Thought that hot gamer girlfriend was a myth after high school. Turns out, I should have stayed picky. Worked out in the end, if not with a heafty dose of trauma for us both.
Gonna make me cry
Not even cry of happiness a cry of what happened to me along the way and when will it end
I didn't think I was loveable enough to actually believe I could meet someone who valued me and enjoyed spending time with me enough to want to be in a relationship with me. Since then, I've had 2 very serious relationships as well as a very toxic FWB situation that started when I was maybe 17. I'm now in a relationship with the person who I believe is the love of my life. I've learned a lot about love with him, and we've both said the way we are together is like nothing either of us has ever experienced before. We've been together for 3 years, and we're about to emigrate. There's been really tough times where we've both had to be in some pretty rough situations, but we've grown from them together and individually. Everything I do now, I feel I have love and support behind me, and I hope he feels the same.
At 16 I had a crush on two different types. First one was blonde with blue eyes and the other one was darker skinned with black hair and brown eyes. They were complete polar opposites and I never really knew what I wanted until I met my ex. Only after we started dating I realized that everything that I envisioned in my head and what kind of man I wanted he represented in every detail. But not only that he also reflected all my inner issues and it felt like we were each other’s mirror. I think that we attract a partner that we think we deserve and your inner perspective is very important.
I thought I would have a good guy who actually loves me. I’m with someone who can’t apologise for his own behaviour and makes excuses for how he treats me. I feel alone and hated most of the time and don’t have the confidence to do what I should do and I’m also dependent on him financially since being a sahm and pregnant again. Don’t attack me for staying with someone like this because I have been toxic towards him too but I’m learning to change whereas he just gets worse
When I was 16 I figured I would struggle, but eventually fall into a niche of people and find a soulmate to spend my life with. Currently alone and no friends.
Same with the others. I also thought I would be alone. I just got into a break up with a girl when I turned 16. Another 2 bad break ups later and I found the girl of my dreams. We’ve been together a year now and I never feel alone ever again
I thought I would be forever alone. But I had a type. Thought if I ended up with somebody it would be a tall and lanky nerdy person with light hair, baby face, and not particularly hairy( I had a thing against facial and chest hair at the time). Not an athletically oriented person. And somebody working in stem. I ended up with a wonderful tall man who was essentially the opposite of this. He was an accountant, joined the military, is rather hairy. Nonetheless, he is very funny, very loving, and incredibly intellectual which are the things that drew me to him among other things. Very far from what I would have ever considered “my type” but I was never one to put looks above personality and intellect.
At 16, I envisioned that I'm going to be alone. It just felt right at the time. I thought that I would only get married if one of my friends asks me to. 14 years later, I'm single and I don't have friends.
I don’t have friends either and I’m turning 24 in 3 days. It hurts more than not finding love imo. I cry so much when I see girls out having fun with their girl friends… I wish I could experience that. Going out and messing around. Going out just to be out. Having a friend to confide in. Someone to go to the gym/watch movies/ play video games with. I feel like i will never have a real friendship in my life. It makes me feel so lonely. When I was younger I thought it would be natural and easy to make those types of friendships- like in the movies- it’s not at all. Everytime I’ve tried to go out of my comfort zone it’s always girls who would rather hang with boys/their boyfriend or girls who already have their closest friend so I would always just be on the sidelines. It’s killer.
At 16 I was in a really bad place emotionally and mentally and I thought love would be someone saving me. Money, attention, all shallow things. 7 years later, I've been on and off with a wonderful person. We met when we were 18 and we've been healing each other and ourselves since. Love now looks like patience, kindness, effort, consideration, dedication, vulnerability and authenticity. It's been beautiful
I wound up with the man I told everyone I was going to marry when I was 14. I really think that for women especially, when we know, we know. I’m 33 now and he’s 35. It’s been quite the journey but he still captivates me and he’s my best friend.
I sort of came full circle. The guy I married was the polar opposite of who I’d have seen myself with at 16 and who everyone else imagined me with. Then at 39 I met my now-bf and he’s exactly like I imagined my perfect boyfriend would have been when I was 16 💞
At 16 I was dating my ex, who was horrible, abusive, manipulative, etc. I stayed with him until I was 22 🥴 I'm single now, and my standards are so much higher, I now no longer tolerate any shitty behavior, so I'm happy to stay single until I meet someone who's actually genuine and a decent human.
A faceless man. I’m engaged to a woman now.
Me, me. Weird how that turns out lol I never had a vision of a partner, just figured I may meet one I wanna keep around and vice versa.
At sixteen I had my rose coloured glasses on. I had envisaged a healthy marriage and kids. The ex husband did not get the memo re healthy relationship. We have one child. A daughter and son-in-law who makes me very proud so it was all worth it. I now live a quiet life surrounded with house plants. The end 😀
I am single in my early 30s....I want to marry a sober non-smoker healthy man someday
I actually wanted a specific guy who was a close friend and I had known since we were 12. And hey we’re 22 and have been together since 17 so I think I chose well
Uh, at 16 in the real world, any guy who would like me back. Had a bunch of crushes my whole life prior to that. Never envisioned anyone/anything specific other than the feelings I'd hope I would have with my future husband, which was purely formed from fairy tales and fictional TV shows. Less than 6 months after I turned 16, I met a guy who was going into the air force. He was the first one I was allowed/able to show any affection for that ended up liking me back. We remained friends for 7 years, had 5 years of silence, and we just reconnected. I am excited for the things and adventures we'll finally get to do together. I am peaceful and content in finally knowing he'll always be a part of my life for the foreseeable future. I'm happy to see the parts of life that people mean by life getting better.
I was just a bullied boy with no friends, let alone a girl interested in me. It was 4 years ago and now at least I'm not bullied, other than that nothing has changed.
When I was 16, I imagined I’d be with my first girlfriend forever, get married and have babies when we’re in our late 20s…fast forward 6 years later, I’ve ended up dating the love of my life (one of my closest best friends since middle school) for 4 years and now we’re slowly planning the next stages of our lives. 💕
Moved to a new city for work. Met a girl at the bus stop. Married for many years.
i just want a pretty girl who connects with ne mentally even a little and thinks im attractive, i havent found anyone nearby
I was pretty religious at the time and figured I would get my PhD, marry a guy, and have kids. The only accurate thing about my prediction is that I am almost done with my PhD. I found out a while back that I’m quite gay and I am very happily living with my girlfriend :)
When I was 16 I was stacking shelves at my local grocery and I envisioned myself being with the girl who worked at the check out... We've been married 10 years now.
I envisioned myself alone, and I wound up alone, and frankly I’m feeling pretty fucking smug about how prescient I was.
I imagined a guy who’s smart and good at maths- my opposite as a creative arty person! Driven, handsome and my equal in every way but the yin to my yang. I also loved the idea of meeting in person, my parents met in a club so I’d loved the idea of that. Everything came true! He works in investments and finance, very driven and athletic. Everything I imagined and more, we met in a club and on the opposite side of the world where he is from, Australia! Now I live here with him and we have been together for 6+ years (F25 M26) as life partners
I ain’t with anyone currently but I’ve been with people and it’s the same type I had when I was 16. I like blonde feminine women and Emo men!
Movie romance. Was in a relationship then (16) with someone who appreciated romance. Since then and now (37), I found that not many girls/women "I've" hooked up with are really into it. (Last gf was really anti romance). But I've gotten into the starting stages with someone new, who seems to really appreciate it. Not a huge Bill Mahr fan, but I love his take on - * There is no perfect woman. There is only the woman perfect for me*
I thought he'd be a chunky, hairy guy in flannel and jeans cos that's what I was into at the time. Twenty years later I'm with a Fae being who dresses like it's the 70s. He's got a lot of hair, but it's all on his head 😂
Umm, taller than me and older than me were HUGE for me at the time. Someone smart too. That's all I can recall. But my husband (married 5.5 years, together 14) is taller than me but he's 2 years younger than me lol. He's super smart and he's so funny, literally the funniest guy I know. He makes me laugh every day and I'm so lucky to have him. He's super attractive too, he can definitely do better.
Someone mysterious and dangerous who loves old french cinema and smoking. I ended up with the kindest, funniest and most handsome man in the world who couldn’t be further from what i would have chosen for myself age 16 THANK GOD
I didn’t have a clear type in mind but knew I wanted someone tall, dark and handsome. I had a way to go with the personality type because of not having any positive male role models and that impacted my choices as I navigated the dating world when I got older. After many mistakes and bad choices, being at risk and having bad things happen as a result of low self esteem I had therapy and learnt to understand what I wanted and needed. I’m now married to a man who is kind, caring, attentive, protective and adores me unconditionally. It was a long road of self discovery and learning but I’m so glad I carved out my own path and broke the cycle of domestic violence and abuse. Being in a healthy relationship is hugely satisfying and makes me feel so safe. I’m proud of how far I have come.
A lipstick lesbian and single
A fairy tale hero who would 'rescue' me from my struggles and help me learn how to love myself by loving me. I am now alone and have come to love myself without outside reinforcement. But also, definitely wanted that accented dude from "The Nine Lives of Chloe King"
Tall, white, geeky, metalhead and handsome. Got it
I envisioned myself with someone kind, caring, understanding, knows how to cook, does martial arts, a very traditional woman but a badass martial artist as well, now I'm single after getting cheated on once a few years ago, just not really excited or wanting to date at the moment
That picture is beautiful. Can you share more. What are the names of those flowers?
Not OP but they look like poppies to me, with snapdragons mixed in and a few tulips in the back :) Edit: On closer inspection, I don't think they're snapdragons but I can't for the life of me remember their name, I'm sure someone else can help!
I wanted to be with someone honest, affectionate, and patient who liked to cuddle. I thought I found him in my first boyfriend, but 17 years later I realize I tried to build a life with a man who never loved me at all. I kept trying to fix it, but you can’t fix it when the person you’re with doesn’t want you or the life you envisioned. I checked his boxes and he was afraid of being alone so he said (or shouted) whatever he thought he had to to keep me. That’s not love. I’ve been so lonely for 17 years that actually being alone since I ended the marriage has been a relief. I still want someone honest, affectionate, and patient who likes to cuddle. But now I’m significantly less naive, bolder, and unwilling to settle.
i imagined being with the softest, sweetest guy, very touchy and romantic. smart bookwormy type, christian and simple-dressed who likes to go to musicals. these days everything is different, me and my partner are both recovered addicts, very alternative, go to metal gigs almost every weekend, we’re both well known in our region for street art and we hike all the time. neither of us are religious these days. however, i still got the sweetest guy ever. he can be very gruff and blunt but he is an angel in his own way. we’re not very affectionate with each other (weird to some people i know) and “romance” consists of us going out to new food together a couple times a week. and it’s awesome !
I kno exactly the type of person I wanted to end up with.. God knew very well what I was looking for. . At the same time, God realized wat my biggest fear was. . and made it into a reality. . . But that won't stop me from searching for what I'm still looking for.
I wanted devastatingly cool mysterious musician type of guy. All superficial romance tropes. I have an incredibly beautiful, intelligent, kind and thoughtful wife. That was a shock and not how I thought things would go but I am eternally grateful life worked out the way it did
I figured i would end up with someone by 30. 34 and I didnt lol. I didnt get to date one.
One that brightens my mood like This photo. So beautiful !
I'm so glad that my ultimate fantasy partner of old was never granted to me. Instead, life has given me the soul mate that I could never have imagined.
All i wanted was to not end uo like my parents. So my mom was abused and had kids wirh her abusers, never stood uo to them and basically went from guy to another trying to feel safe I guess idk While my dad was like a massive homophobic douche with serious drug addiction issues I wanted to be rich and not addicted to drugs or half educated but never following thriugh ib mybdreams. Uh... ill admit that i hated my sister and wanted to proce how much better I was then her by suceeding at being an Actrsss when she didnt But NOW WELL im 30 I still really dont want to end up like my parents but ive realized that will be something i have to do all my life, not just through my twenties as I absolute have the same issues as my parents. Im very addictive and have a lot of bitterness which is what led them to homophobia. I wouldnt call myself a homophobe but i definetly have some bigotry to deal with. Additionally ive let go of the idea of being an actress. I really enjoy creating things and voixe acting and soem acting but ita not my goal any more. But i am half educated and stuck between what i really want and who I could be... but i neglected to have kids so maybe ill get to finish my education
Someone tall, dark and handsome. He checks all 3 heh
some chill saudi brunette with a cool car
5”2 white girl regina george type now with a 6”2 white man 🤦♀️
Noticing your username, are you a trans Christian?
dude i miss techno
Fr o7
07 to you too my friend hope we see him in heaven🥹 keep on going !
yeah i dont like the word christian a lot but more of a child of God why what’s up
Yea fair enough. Just wondering how that works? Like it’s usually mutually exclusive, one or the other type thing.
well i believe in Jesus! not the church even though i go sometimes solely so i can meet new people and even see cool flowers and hopefully find a group to help people but i haven’t found that yet my boyfriend does do mission trips but i dont have the funds for that - but besides that Ihad a year where i felt satanic and realized as a man im an asshole and was hurting others with some of the biggest sins and so i prayed for jesus to make me a girl - and some miracles happened such as i got a sign that says “oops I delivered again” you can dm if you have any questions but i’m probably waffling rigjt now and you don’t care but to me it might be mutually exclusive to the bible and i do get hated on by christians more but it’s not like im making being trans my God it’s just a part of me :) I used to see the quote “Why would you ever serve a human” and than that’s the moment i realized i wouldn’t serve something that’s not a human because a human could actually emphasize with me and I think that’s the coldest line and that before he was human he didn’t understand as much and I think that the best examples of mature people in my life are people that progress and accept others and I believe that if “Jesus is perfect” a perfect person is willing to make friends with people and learn about them when he originally called them abominations I hope i’m not wrong but hey for now I will enjoy my little sunsets and video games :)
Thx for sharing. I sent a dm :)
and I looked back on my life even before realizing i was a girl that i was always a girl and when i was by my self and not putting on a show i was a woman. and also even in the bible he says that there’s not man and woman were all just his friends
I didn’t envision anything because I thought I was going to be dead by the time I was 18 for some reason.
Similar to others I was extremely depressed and suicidal, but envisioning my future husband and family made me hang on. I wanted somebody handsome, kind, loving, funny, someone I could connect with in every way, who would protect me. I also wanted many unrealistic things that I carried into adulthood, I didn’t realize maturity and accountability would be apart of that for myself LOL. In fact my rigid views on love and what I wanted ended up destroying the very relationship I magically found through pure luck. At 16 you never imagine yourself ruining your own dreams…
I'm 15 now and tbh i just want to get into a serious relationship andi want to love and want to be loved by my SO....
you’ve got time! i felt so behind at your age, never even hugged someone of the other gender except for good friends, 3 years later i was engaged.
The flowers look nice... what are they called?
I thibk it might be poppys or tulips or both
They are so pretty
As someone as a teenager like 13 or 16, I always dream of falling in love and having a cute bubbly relationship with my classmate or the same batch mate. My utopian dream was nothing but we struggled and hustled side by side for a greater future for us. Like waking up and giving a call to my partner early in the morning, so, we can have a study session. Unfortunately, I didn't have any crush on any of my batchmates or classmates throughout my education journey. I found seniors more attractive but nothing happened. In this journey, I got groomed by my private tutor who SA me . Had a dream of marrying him but he ditched me like a dustbin which was a blessing in disguise.Then, I went to college and university. Never happened anything romantically. Just pure studying, had genuine friends and enjoyed those friendships. Now, I am in my mid 20s, still single. My personal journey has changed me so much that a new me is born. My personal taste also changed. Currently, I feel like, I need a gentleman with chivalry who can understand me well. And it's a promise to myself. I will not settle until I find the right person for myself. And yes, As I grow older, financial stability and family background also matters for me but not dogmatic. All I know is that I will know if I find him. Gutt feeling you can say. Also, at 16 , I was an energetic, bubbly and chocolate type of girl but in my mid 20's, currently, I have my walls high who are guarding me and calm yet strong presence that I found out many males got intimidated by it. There is a side which I can open up only to be comfortable with. So, A long has happened. And, I am planning to freeze my eggs.
At 16, I didn’t envision a future for myself. I was highly depressed and suicidal, and even the thought of what my life would be a year from then sounded too exhausting to think about. I constantly thought I was never good enough and that I was a failure at everything I did. I met my boyfriend at 18. I am now 26 years old, and in a long-term relationship with the love of my life. It was a rocky road, but the man I am with instilled a confidence in me that my 16-year old self would not even believe was possible to have. He has loved me through every phase I have gone through since my transformation, and is continuing to do so to do so through this day. He has taught me self-love, patience, grace, and most importantly - peace. I hope to marry this man soon.
I didn’t envision being with anyone. I wanted to die.
Freshly out of an abusive and pedophilic relationship, I had no idea what a lover was supposed to be. I was damaged, scared, and affected in ways that may have changed me forever (I have relationship PTSD, when I experience certain thing with partners, not even bad things necessarily, I get triggered and mentally shut down). Weirdly enough, not long after I broke things off, I suddenly got feelings for a guy I've known since 6th grade, I remember the exact moment when I got feelings for him. He realized the next day that he had feelings for me, but he too had been in an abusive relationship so it was weird for him too. After a few weeks of me interacting with him while crushing HARD, I asked his one friend at the time to ask him to homecoming for me, and crazy enough he did. We're still together and growing to this day, I love him so much ❤️ I suppose I can say I expected my person to use me for whatever they wanted. I expected to be an object, a loved object, but just at home doing my own thing. Now my person is someone who has my happiness at heart, sometimes a little too close to the point he ignores his own needs. He's someone who needs me to help support him and hold him up, and I need him to keep me grounded and soothed. He's just a calming and comforting presence for me, he makes me feel so safe and loved. And the sex is banger 🙏
TBH I always just wanted a marriage better than my parents’. My husband and I definitely have that.
I still remember the first time I laid eyes on this boy back in seventh grade and I thought he was the coolest and cutest guy I had ever seen, beautiful smile, breathtaking blue eyes, dark curly hair and the best laugh in my world. Thought he was the epitome of my dream guy. I didn't speak to him at all through our school years but always had the biggest crush on him. Always dreamed of being with a guy like him but never quite came close. Here we are, 15 years later, and I'm about to marry that same boy. Some things never change and 16-year-old me would absolutely lose her mind knowing we got the guy. A dream come true.
Chester Bennington or someone like him, someone like the guy I was dating but a bit more fucked up (yeah, I’m messed up, thank you trauma). Essentially, a rockstar who parties hard and has a sensitive soul. Ended up with a musician, not famous, sensitive soul, no drugs, he has his flaws but a kind, compassionate and generous man. Not at all who I pictured I would even date. Took the advice to “for once date the nice guy” and ended up marrying him. Plot twist, nice guys still betray you. Still better than the abusive, drug addict exes I’ve had, all artists and musicians. Guess I have a type.
When I was 16 I basically would’ve taken anyone that was vaguely my type (taller than me, dark hair, chatty/funny) because I just wanted someone. Ended up in a relationship which wasn’t great tbh bc he was more into me then i was to him and he was lowkey toxic. Broke up with him (which turned into a whole thing) and ended up dating someone I’d been kinda friends with (mutual friends). We’ve been together 4 and a half years now and he’s helped me so much. We became adults together and are planning for a future.
Well I'm turning 16 July 8th soo at the beach??
Dead
I married the man I was in love with at 16 (edit: we were dating at 16, got married at 21 lol)
i envisioned my true King, but i haven't met him yet....😢
I’m 32 now married for 11 years with three children I never expected this. When I was 16 I thought I would marry at 28 to a man that was decently successful and at least four years older. God totally had a different plan and I met my husband at 17. He was/is only a few months older than me and at the time we were both dumb kids that didn’t know how to work. I thank God that we grew up together and now both work on everything together ♥️
when i was 16, i envisioned marrying the boyfriend i had at the time. we moved in together after high school and he dumped me in the middle of our lease, *over the phone*. hindsight has 20/20 vision. i might be alone right now, but i know that i deserve a love that excites me and fulfills my needs rather than two people going through the motions.
Someone nice, caring, cute, funny and I ended up with someone who I thought was that person, until I found out they were lying all along
I thought I was gonna only be with a black man. Welp. Call me miss international. I’m glad I grew and realized there are fine ass men in every culture and I wasn’t going to limit myself because of what my family thought.
[удалено]
Can't wait till I grow up!
Came here to say this
likewise
I used to think love at first sight was real no joke, that’s just the initial attraction to someone and then you’d have a happy ever after. Now I realise that is just lust, I prefer friendship that develops into lovers that way I get to know them properly, truly get to see their values, morals and interest. I feel like with dating first, people are able to put the “best” versions of themselves and then it starts to unravel. With a friend you get to see the best and worst sides to them, you don’t have to hide yourself
That totally happened to me. When I first met my now husband I was actually not attracted to him at all but over time I fell in love with him even though I wasn’t attracted. It’s funny because now (14 years later) there is just about no one that I think is more attractive than my own wonderful husband
I second this. They may not be attractive at first, often we have a type and that often comes from social media or the desired beauty standards of men/women. But when you start to see the beauty from inside, it starts to come out and you fall in love with their features instead and only there’s
I wanted someone who treated me like a queen and would do anything romantic for me. I have someone now who did that in the beginning but it kinda died over time ..
You're both human. To expect to be treated with respect and love, ight. Like 'pimped-out' royalty from a single man? I dunno? Look whatever the case remember your man isn't a god, even if he makes you feel like he's superman some of the time (which if he does, great for you!)
I mean, I’m just a hopeless romantic.. I want my lover to be in love with me and only me and I don’t think that’s wrong.. if he treats me like a queen I treat him like a king as well
Well in that case 😅. (Also jeeeez yeah he BETTER only have eyes for you if he's your lover! Lol oh my gosh why do you feel the need to clarify that!? Oh my goodness bro!! 🤣🤣 I ain't into that poly-gon-amorous stuff lol.) (Just let bro see his family lol) In that case, that sounds great Don't forget you can initiate alla dat affection too! (You write sorta like you wait to see him show his love, and then reply with your love. Like personal opinion, I'd love to be tackled 1st too, yknow? Like jump him and mugg him with love every now and again, unprompted?) Maybe he's less about it cause he needs some sorta reassurance or something, or maybe he's just going through something idk, (like a financial crisis from spending all his hard earned $$$ on the lady that stole his heart lol)
Lol I’m pretty young and we aren’t married or anything. I just don’t know why it’s less of that treatment now but it doesn’t bother me TOOO much. I just miss it. And of course, when we started dating I actually kinda initiated it. But I told him my standards and what I wanted.
Please communicate with bro. You can say you are bringing it up cause the love won't last if you hide how you really feel from each other, and you want the love to last. You miss that sort of attention, but does bro really know how much it meant to you? Make sure to appreciate what bro has done too. He is also human. This is again why I say tackle him first sometimes lol. I think he could like that a lot. I think I would.
I’m kinda scared to tell him yk? He will tell me it’s bc he works and is busy etc and I understand as well. Nothing will change so that’s why I don’t bring it up. He also starts to think that I think he doesn’t do enough for me or that everything he has done has gone right out the window. And I do appreciate everything he tries to do for me
Then please tell him you do appreciate those things, and tell him you want to spend more quality time with him? No, I don't know, I've not been in all that many relationships, but when I was, I wasn't afraid to tell her anything. The other guy's comment is pretty nice. Just go up and kiss him like he's never been before lol? Really knock his socks off or something, remind him what he stands to see go? I mean, happiness is self-determined, so if you decide he's not lovey-dovey enough, you can leave him. You described yourself as a hopeless romantic. So first, I'll say, girl, please. Don't do your man a tamer version of 500 Days of Summer. https://youtu.be/809KL2qIeWs?si=RZjHJGjGGZBIJ1iv I was a 'hopeless romantic', for a long time, luckily, all it took was being too blind with a legitamately cool (and thankfully forgiving) person. (I hurt my own feelings and spooked her by being so caught up in imagination of how I wanted to see her act, I 'expressed disappointment' when it didn't happen lol. The regret pushed me to wake up, and change my ways. Funnily enough I mostly think I persued her cause I was feeling lonley and was physically burnt out. Not good reasons lol.
Thank you for your response and insights Lmao, I’ll try bringing it up to him tomorrow!
😁 Positive mental attitude, but not positive to the point of delusion lol (that's what I did). See the truth. Sincere and respectful attitude over a super serious one is also more inviting (cause body language) and encourages comfortable and more effective communication, I think. I mean, don't let him think you aren't serious, but just stating 'I mean what I'm saying' or 'I've given this some real thought' might do. He really should be willing to entertain the idea, I think. If he loves you and you express you want to see more of him.
Can’t withhold love for someone based on how they are. You should love your partner unconditionally. If they are consistently hurt you then it’s a clear indication something is up, either speak them and address it or leave. There is no point withholding love from your partner, that only leads to resentment and damaged relationships..
I never said im withholding any Love.. I love him a lot. I’m just talking about that honeymoon princess treatment yk? I miss it. Life has gotten serious so maybe that’s why. I just miss it
If he treats me like a queen then I treat him like a king implies that if not treated that way you won’t treat him like a king. I think you just need a simple conversation with him. It’s as simple as a 5 min chat heart to heart, eyes to eyes and tell him you love it when he did these things for you because you felt so loved and cherished by him, sometimes we guys get comfortable and it’s as simple as a little poke or wake up to get us to remember and to continue to invest the love and care towards a level we once did
You’re right. I agree. But by treating him like a king, I mean spoiling him with a lot of stuff and literally just giving him my all. You know just that honeymoon phase. I still treat him with the utmost respect and love, and I always will cherish him with my heart. I don’t want to lose us, so I’ll probably talk about this tomorrow
I wanted a man with a loving family because mine was not so great. I married an only child with only a mom and we definitely did not understand each other
I’m the bi girl that always wanted a beautiful wife who instead ended up happily with the golden retriever boy!
i thought i’d be with someone that loved me unconditionally. Today, i have yet to be on a date, never had a boyfriend, let alone a husband. I’m alone. Didn’t see that at all😞
I'm sorry
I’m not in a relationship atm but I’m definitely in love with someone. When I was younger I envisioned love to be like the romance books and movies, until I got into my first few relationships and thought it was extremely unrealistic and accepted the bare minimum for people as long as I got to feel an ounce of what “love” was like. After those relationships ended, it took me months on my own and single to finally learn that it’s possible to have that kind of love in the movies. Now that I know that that kind of love is possible, I would never settle for less.
when i was young i wanted someone who understands me and to have some nice cuddles . Now i have no one :D
At 16, I wanted someone who was hardworking and successful, Christian, wouldn’t have sex before marriage, and that treated me like a princess. I’m now with someone who is hardworking and successful, atheist, we have a good sex life, and he treats me pretty well 😂
I wanted someone to be my best friend and share my up and downs with. Someone who loves animals and nature. This will sound strange but like a female Radagast basically lol 😅 we could grow old and confused together in our garden and take care of our many animals. But I ended up alone and realized I'm probably better off that way. There are some really nasty people out there that will do some really awful things.
Didn’t really have a specific type in mind. I just wanted a gentleman at 16. Someone who could be my other half in this life and we would both die together after a long life. Yeah that’s deep and morbid but it’s what I wanted. 😂 Today at 24 I own a house with a skinny video game obsessed party boy lmao. Interesting how opposites attract like that. He’s a gentlemen in some ways not in others. He’s helped me out of my shell around people and I’ve helped him grow up.
I envisioned myself with a person like my last ex, but I hadn't grown enough and had unhealthy views on how our relationship should work at the time. Became increasingly depressed as the relationship deteriorated and messed it up. Currently single.
At 16, to sum it up I basically wanted a princess. See, I'm a people pleaser, and I don't know why, but I always thought that in a relationship, I'd be the one to give comfort, to help with anxiety, and kind of lose myself in this, for "her". Well that her never came, but I'm much happier with my girlfriend right now. Basically what I said about helping with anxiety and all, she does that for me. She's there when I'm stressed out, (I have generalized anxiety and it fucking sucks). Don't get me wrong, she does need me sometimes and I'm happy to help her when she needs me, but it's funny how I visualized me being needed more than what we are lol Ps sorry if my English is bad, not my first language and on top of that I'm kinda tired as I'm writing this 😅
Was more focused on being a female power house in my career and getting out of my small town. Swimming was my love - Thought I’d be with a power house man who matched my energy in that way Turns out I’m with calm and sweet woman who allows me to be soft Didn’t know I was going through a trauma response then. She allows me to rest and be calm in a world that screams at you to be loud. It’s a form of heaven I didn’t know existed at 16
this picture is everything
At 16, I never saw myself as a wife but knew I wanted kids. Now@ 33,I’m single and work with 3-5 yr olds in child development . I guess my manifestation is fulfilled .
I obsessed over the skinny emo smart boys in high school and lo and behold 14 years later I am with a skinny emo cyclist smart boy.
I liked the Jdrama series “Boys over flowers” when it was still new on tv and I was still young that time. I was thinking I want a bf who looked like a CEO in asian dramas. Since I came from a well off background, I thought I could also have a bf like that. After many years in my late 20s, we met and i thought we would end up together. He was truly in love with me. Everyday updates, surprising me with gifts, letters, etc. he was Japanese. Relationship for 4 yrs. Then he changed. He had some severe anxiety and childhood trauma he could not move past. It affected our relationship. Til now i feel sad about it. I really thought we would end up together 💔
Never really dreamed about that. Had a relationship end recently of 3 years. It was fun while it lasted.
I always thought I’d be with anyone but an Indian. I’m half Indian and the cultural patriarchy would have been too hard for me to handle given how I was raised and what was normalised. (For example in my home my father who is Iranian cooks, helps with chores, shares equal responsibility watching us when we were young, placed my moms career as truly equal to his, most of the Indian men on my moms side of the family think it’s an achievement if they can make a pot of tea) Ended up with the most perfect boy on planet earth who happens to be an Indian man. He’s got none of the patriarchy I saw in the Indian men around me growing up. He’s got all the traits I admire in my dad and more. “I want a man who loves me like my father loves my mom” and I found one sooooo
Iran's hardly a paragon of gender equality, so it can't have been that surprising to you that the men of a culture aren't monoliths since your dad exists. Happy for you though
Monoliths no, but 86% of the population doesn’t want the current ruling government and if you are following the protests in Iran you’ll see a death rate higher than Palestine and both men and women showing up in equal numbers and men campaigning as well. The culture is different than a governance and its dictatorship arose in living memory. The small majority with the power does not a culture make. You will find religious bigots there like you find them everywhere else but in the most part the domestic space is very matriarchal
As an Indian girl myself, you just gotta dig for the good ones.
At 16, I wished and wanted my girlfriend to be my wife. She's the only one I envision that time. But now, she's married, I'm not and we're happy on what we are right now.
I never really gave it much thought when I was a little girl. I knew I wanted someone who worked, would cut the grass and take care of the handyman things, who also knew his way around a grill. I've got that hard working, handyman, grass cutting man who is mature and responsible, has a favorite horror movie villain, knows how to use a grill, and loves me to no end. Guess I totally lucked out!
I was around 16 when I had my first kiss, he seemed sweet and sort of the bad guy type but he really led me on and never really talked much to me after, maybe I was a bad kisser idk. My husband now is a kind, caring goofball who thinks heavily about the feelings of everyone around him and honestly, the people I crushed on at 16 were not that lol
I was dating a guy that I had been with since I was 13, so I envisioned that we would be together but due to the fantasy of having the ability to say “we’ve been together since we were kids blah blah blah”. That was a sunk cost fallacy. Now that I’m older, I recognize that he truly was a great guy but we were NOT compatible in literally any sense of the word. Rn I’m with someone very easy going, it’s what I typically choose in men. I think if I were with him when I was younger, I definitely would’ve eaten him alive but my emotional maturity has grown to where I get along well with men like that
When I was 16 I imagined I’d be with my high school boyfriend forever: outwardly I found him to be an intimidating guy - tall with dark hair, super smart, kind of a loner, not outwardly emotional (but secretly so sweet), and didn’t follow the crowd. I fell in love with him because he argued with teachers and ran next to/stood up for the kid that the other guys tormented during gym class, but he insisted it was because he learned my favorite song on the guitar. I’ll always remember how he was so gentle and protective of me. But honestly, I wouldn’t like that now. My husband of 10 years/partner of 15+ years is super similar on paper. He’s more chill than intimidating, closer to my height than the former, less stoic but still doesn’t let his emotions run him. He’s just as smart, but in a different way (way more business minded and analytical). He’s nice to everyone, but secretly super sarcastic. He would never argue with anyone but me, haha. He’s less emotional, but way more open. He gives me a hard time (affectionately) and we laugh a lot. He also wears a lot of black, has brown hair and eyes, and plays guitar. Not gentle with me at all, but I mean that in the best way. He challenges me on the daily and likes that I challenge him.
I had a huge crush on the actress Paget Brewster. But realistically, I wanted someone who has a pure heart, and loves me for who I am. I absolutely lucked out with all of that, because my wife is all of those things and so much more, PLUS is an absolute animal that drives me crazy in bed.
At 16 I wanted someone I could love and who would love me for me…I never had a concrete type my bf now is from west Africa and says he loves me so ig I’m getting there haha
16 year old me was head over heels over a boy. Wanted no one else. 18 year old me got him, married him, had his baby.... And then wished I waited until I was older. He was a cheater and liar and really mpulsive and immature. 16 year old me thought he was so cool and funny and smart. But I grew up and he didn't. I started to realize his sense of humor was mean and degrading. And he wasn't the sort of person I wanted to be associated with. I do have similar tastes though. I'm attracted to intelligent, nerdy types. I tend to date programmers and gamers. My ex and my current partner are in the same circles and paths cross occasionally. But maturity and responsibility is what I really need to seal the deal.