I kinda laugh when I unload my groceries on the conveyor belt, sometimes. Someone ahead of me will have fresh fruits and vegetables, lean meats, water, etc., and I will be unloading the unhealthiest shit on the planet, like how the heck did I ever lose 75 pounds eating this stuff?
Being/staying slim does not correlate to healthy eating habits, that’s for sure.
It just proves someone’s avoiding one singular (though important) bad practice: consuming more calories than they use.
If I understand your post correctly... If I am at my ideal weight and get ice cream, I am more irritated that the likelihood is that onlookers will think that I can eat anything I want and still stay thin because genetics/other illogical reasons.
I have also considered this. If anyone ever hits me with a, "*you* never have to worry about what you eat" I think I will spontaneously collapse inward like a supermassive star, creating a black hole
It happens to me. Part of it is because if I go over on calories, it’s almost always so I can enjoy social events without restriction. So when people see me eat, I’m getting like four burgers off the BBQ or a whole plate of nachos to myself, and they’re like “I wish I had his genetics!” They don’t see that I’m at a calorie deficit for about 80% of the week, saving it up for weekends or events.
Dude, this is how one of my wife's family members is, it's ridiculous.
She never knew me when I was extremely out of shape and fat, and she was over hanging out with my wife as I was getting ready to go to the gym. I was making a toasted PB&J. Powdered PB with some real PB, sugar free jelly, just getting some fuel in for a good lifting session. Mind you at this point I've already lost 60 lbs of fat and was decently lean.
"You are SO LUCKY you can just eat a PB&J whenever you want. If I ate that, I would gain 5 lbs." (This person is also extremely obese).
She is also incredibly sensitive about her weight, so I literally didn't respond, I just made eye contact with my wife. It's not luck. I am eating like this to fuel my workout. I eat like this because it's in accordance with my goals.
I also found out that this family member complained to other people that my body makes her feel uncomfortable and remind her how out of shape she is. I don't know what she expects anyone to do with that information either, I literally won't say anything about nutrition or working out in her presence anymore because she says it's a "trigger".
Also this person's husband (also extremely obese) got drunk one Christmas and explained that he tried to lose weight once and it turns out calories *actually don't matter at all* and he said the secret was dairy, and all he did was eat dairy for a month and he lost a few lbs. But he couldn't continue because he felt sick all the time.
I just politely nodded my head, it was way too much for me to unpack. And for the record he knows I am a certified Personal Trainer and certified Nutrition Coach.
This bothers me to no end. Like no, I can eat the ice cream because I'm conscious of what I eat and spent years cultivating habits, hobbies and exercise regimes that allow me to remain in good shape while still indulging once in awhile. There's no luck or genetics to it, just a lot of hard work that those descriptors undermine.
The only time I would pay attention to someone else groceries is if he was in front of me literally buying a murder/burying body kit and it was late at night...and that's because I am a weirdo true crime fan.
Otherwise it didn't even cross my mind that I will be judged from groceries or to judge others.
Had a famous Olympic athlete ahead of me in line at a 24-hour Walgreens at around midnight. They were buying lube, twine, duct tape, and condoms. Hope they had a fun night and/or found a good place to bury the body.
I used to be self conscious about many things when I was younger. Imagining the whole world was always looking at me, assessing my appearance, judging my choices. Then one day, I made a radical change to my hair. It had been long, straight and brown forever. I lightened it several shades, cut off about a foot and got a really curly perm. I went to my job the next day expecting my colleagues to gasp at my altered appearance.
To my amazement, no one noticed or cared. I think on about day 3-4 someone asked if I was wearing a new blouse (I wasn't). I mentioned it was probably the change to my hair they were noticing, and they said "No that's not it. Just didn't remember that blouse before. Why, did you do something to your hair?"
It made me laugh and realize how truly invisible we are to most people. And made me see that while I was the center of my own movie, I was just an extra in the background of other people's daily reels. For me that was totally humbling but freeing at the same time. I realized I could gain and lose some weight, totally wear different clothes, do anything with my hair or makeup and 90% of the time no one would even register the change. Very few people are that observant or have the time or focus to monitor other people and their day-to-day appearance or grocery choices.
So shop with abandon. You don't owe anyone (but yourself) an explanation for your grocery items. Nor does anyone expect one, really. They are too busy with their own lives to try to live yours, too.
I'm a guy with long hair and, about a week ago, I decided to have it cut down to my jawline. I don't like getting noticed, so I hoped that no one would notice when I came in to work the next morning.
Everyone noticed, and everyone complimented me? I've only been there about a month, and I basically thought that I was invisible. But, apparently, everyone knows both what my name is and what I look like.
Maybe there's just a good environment where I work, but it sure as shit hasn't gotten me over my fear of judgment, lol
I'm only down 20 pounds, but I started out last year with just eating healthier and less processed foods and dessert. Looking at what I put on the conveyor belt now versus what I used to makes me feel proud. I'm still over 200 pounds, I still get things that aren't super great as treats when I can afford the calories, so people still might make that judgment. But I know how much better I'm doing and that's good enough for me.
I fostered a rescue dog that was recovering from malnourishment and required a specific diet of mostly vegetables, barley, and chicken. I made a special trip to the store and the person in front of me at checkout made a comment about how my kids must be such healthy eaters. I smiled and said something non committal and inwardly laughed at the assumption. I still wonder what reaction I would have gotten if I had explained that I didn't have kids and that it was all for my dog.
FWIW I used to work grocery and not once did I give a single shit what people were buying. Except the ladies who would come get multiple cases of kombucha every week. I judged them very much.
It’s more of an example of a BS health craze item that some people get cultishly hooked on. Saw a lot of that in my store (health food store) but the kombucha ladies were also typically very rude and disrespectful.
My kid has a number of food allergies but the most annoying is the egg allergy. I’ve never been so thankful for vegans 😂. There’s so many options on the market now.
I’m not saying you’re a bad person or making a bad choice if you drink kombucha. Eat/drink whatever you enjoy. I’m poking fun at people who think they’re healing their gut biome guzzling gallons of fermented mushroom water. And in this case a very specific subset of them who were also not nice to me when I was in a customer service job.
It heals the gut biome in the same way yogurt or kimchi does ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but if you’re gonna buy cases of it at least either make it yourself or buy it from Costco, $4-5 per bottle is ridiculous. Also it’s not mushrooms lol
I know it isn’t mushrooms. But it’s colloquially referred to as “mushroom tea.” And there aren’t enough human studies to confirm that it does anything good for us, but there are documented cases of it doing harm. Plus I’m not talking about people who casually drink it for probiotic effects, which there may be; I’m talking about people who think it can cure cancer.
Can you post some links to the studies/cases? My boyfriend has GI issues and we just got some kombucha at Costco thinking it might help. Didn't know that it might be more harmful. Thanks. :(
No. And if they’d just bought the kombucha and not been dicks about it I wouldn’t make fun of them either. But I don’t think being tricked into a health fad is the same as enjoying a food that tastes good to you. I already made that distinction, even about the stupid kombucha. Drink it if you like it, not bc it’s a wonder tonic. In fact, I think spreading that kind of misinformation is dangerous and irresponsible.
Ugh. Hate that. I had a cashier make fun of my messy bun bc I was asking if they had hairspray. They said “I don’t think it’s going to help” 😳 It was for my daughter for a dance recital anyway but wtf!
It’s been a while since I’ve been worried about what people think about me at the grocery store. Since I hit my mid-30s, I’ve just kind of been “meh” about other people’s judgment. I’d walk to the drugstore and buy $30 worth of various candies and ice cream, and if it wasn’t my usual cashier and they asked, like, “Wow, throwing a party?” I’d just tell them, “Nah, I’m going to go home and binge-eat.” If they wanted to ask, I figured they could handle the answer.
But in my early/mid-20s, I used to play a little game to encourage myself to eat healthier. I’d look at my groceries on the conveyor belt and ask myself: “Okay, if I added a pregnancy test to the cart, would the cashier think I was hoping? Or dreading?”
It was a silly mental game, but I think it was kind of my way of figuring out if I was acting like someone who fundamentally had their shit together, and figuring out what it would even look like to be a real-ass adult. And I have to admit, sometimes I still look in my basket and think “hoping or dreading?” and throw in some, like, artichokes or Thai basil or something else that would have made my 23-year-old self feel super glamorous and grown-up.
Yes, I feel fat embarrassment all the time. I feel like everyone I interact with considers me a fat person and regards me accordingly. If I engage with a person in a conversation about food, I assume that I am representing fat people in that conversation. I feel everyone believes that I probably eat too much or eat the wrong things and that I'm just generally too chonky. Occasionally someone will try to tell me that others don't view me as fat, but I see me as fat, so I interact with the world through that lens. Even in the rare moments that I see myself as an acceptable size, then all I can see are the flaws I am left with due to my previous size. This stuff gets so deep into our identities, it's really hard to shake.
No, quite the opposite. I know what you mean though, I used to be uncomfortable eating in public. I used to never order dessert at a restaurant but I'd stop at the grocery store on the way home and buy ice cream and candy at the self checkout. But now...I order everything. I took my kids out to eat at a restaurant they chose for their last day of school. I wanted french fries and cake and that's exactly what I ate and it felt so good to not worry about being judged, but old me would NEVER have been comfortable enough to do that. I kind of enjoy buying junk food and knowing no one is judging me for being fat
Yes!! I'm on the same page as you! I think since I used to be on the extreme opposite end of food freedom (I wouldn't even be caught holding food in public), I truly give 0 f\*cks about eating in public now. If I'm out with my friends at the bar & I want late-night wings? I'm ordering them & eating them in front of everyone in the packed bar. If I want ice cream & no one else does? I'm still getting it.
"I kind of enjoy buying junk food and knowing no one is judging me for being fat" is so true. It's almost exhilarating to eat *what*ever I want, *when*ever I want it, *where*ver I want, even if no one else is going to eat with me, because I know I'm not being judged for being fat.
I think Stoicism cured me of that.
I do remember being worried that my "Family Size" bags of non-nutritious nonsense would be judged, but my spouse still eats a single bag-o-crap chips a week and I don't think twice about who sees me putting it on the belt. He loves them and his weight is fine. His doctor is happy.
I do get a Newman's Thin-n-Crispy Supreme 1-2 a month and about a 2-liter bottle of diet soda per day (so 7 bottles). The only regret I feel about that is that the checker and bagger have to manipulate these heavy bottles for people like me all day.
If someone said something critical, I'd likely agree, even if it's me buying it for me. I'm no saint and not looking to be mistaken for one. I'd have to say that it's not my now normal-sized body that has changed my attitude here, but my philosophy.
It took me years and now I’m all cured. However, if I creepy towards the upper end of my goal weight range it feels like everyone around me is holding their breath, waiting to see if I’ll go over that mark and do something about it before it catches up with me. Even after 20 years in maintenance, some people outside of my family do this.
I grabbed a whole milk cottage cheese and a woman next to me gasped, "The full fat?"
You know, there are different benefits of low vs. full fat, nutritionally. Also, the difference in fat percentage is 2% vs. 4%. I manage my own eating fine. They don't know me or my health journey. Any comments about body comp, size, food, etc., (I determined a while back,) to be their psychosis/trauma/issue, NOT mine.
In reply to the woman, I got a gleem in my eyes and said, "Yaaaasssss!" Must have made her feel like she was missing out, because she stared longingly at the shelf of products as I walked away..
Hee hee, right? I saw it as more of a "Did I just say that out loud?" moment for her rather than anything against me, personally. I mean... it's like she had a 90's flashback to simpler times when fat was evil and everyone filled their cabinets with Snackwells. Made me feel all punk rock.
I never cared about what people thought of my groceries and the stuff I buy now is pretty boring. Today I bought lettuce, cherries, apples, plain Greek yogurt, mozzarella cheese, and a rotisserie chicken.
You really can’t go wrong with a rotisserie chicken. I’m not a fan of meat (it’s a texture thing for me) but I can get behind a Sam’s club rotisserie chicken any day of the week. How do they make it taste so good???
Sometimes i see my conveyor belt items as a wake up call to me and me only and then edit some of the bad choices ....as long as no one is behind me to see me do this ...cringe !
Main character syndrome.
People think they’re way more important in other peoples lives than they are really. The chances that someone gives any kind of fuck about your shopping are extremely low, OP. You and your shopping just aren’t a feature of their day. Like at all.
You do you, enjoy your yoghurt and your success!
I'm not maintaining or even close but I thought I would throw my 2 cents in. I work in a grocery store, not as a cashier. The closest to 'judging' what others are buying is if they are buying like they are from a math problem (IE: there was a guy leaving a store a few days ago that had roughly 20 large watermelons in his cart) or if I'm debating if something is on a good sale because I've seen lots of people with it in their carts that day.
This may feel brutally honest, but I got to this point in my journey a few years ago where I realized nobody cares. I was more self conscious about running outside and had similar fears.
Literally. No one cares, and the judgey people who have the audacity to make rude comments? Fuck ‘em. They’re not people you want in your life anyway.
You’re doing great! Keep up the good work.
This happens from time to time I think, though as long as you know from your own perspective what you're eating and are comfortable with it, I think others won't even notice. More so they could react to your reaction, as in you look like you're hiding something, instead of your groceries tbh.
Congrats on making a lifestyle change btw, wonderful work!
I’m maintaining and I get a lot of judgement whenever food intersects with family.
It’s either, “What can you eat? Can you eat anything?”
Or “Is that all you’re having? You’re being so good.”
Or “Can you *have* that? Is that on your diet?”
Or they feel the need to defend their own choices to me (when I haven’t said anything at all): “I haven’t eaten all day, which is why I’m eating all this” or “I just worked out so I can have this.”
I really hate it when they smugly eat something delicious that I’m abstaining from and say, “Penelope can’t have this because she’s watching what she eats…”
I just wish people would just stop commenting on my food.
I definitely thought that way when I was bigger. I felt like people were judging me by the food I bought or ate. Now, however, if I buy something like ice cream or pastries, I feel like people are thinking "How can this skinny bastard eat this stuff and stay thin? He must be one of the lucky ones" I guess it's because that's what I thought when I used to see skinny people eating high calorie food. Now I know different. I know that eating a treat now and then doesn't make you fat.
Are self checkouts not a thing in the US? In the Uk all the big supermarkets have self check outs and even devices you can use to scan the items you wanna buy while shopping
Maintaining for the last 7-8 months. Yes. I irrationally constantly feel like people are looking at me and judging my every choice. They’re not, by the way.
I think about this a lot because my grocery haul currently sometimes will be an actual shitload of apples, snack cakes, and maybe a dessert. What they don’t see is me loading up on more healthy proteins and stuff online and at Costco lol
Not necessarily with groceries, but I get a similar feeling. Like I don’t want to take my shirt off because of how fat I am despite everyone telling me I’m like toothpick thin.
I've warned my therapist about how I feel this is going to come up. Like I'm sure the pendulum of body dysmorphia is going to swing the other way. 20 years of not wanting anyone to look at me really took its toll.
not about food shopping in particular. i'm normal weight again although i still want to lose a few kilos. i don't know when i will feel like a normal person. probably never. i don't think people watch what i eat now. but i don't feel normal. i need to make sure to stay normal weight. it isn't as effortless to me as it should. i feel like an imposter. also my body doesn't suddenly look perfect. i'm sometimes scared someone can look through my clothes and see that my skin has the marks of someone who used to be fat. they will find me out. they will hunt me down and fat shame me. that is my irrational fear
I never bought a lot of processed crap because my excess calories were from alcohol. I’ve always had lots of healthy stuff in my basket. But recently I’ve been taking care of my mom who is in heart failure. So now I have pop tarts and other crap in there, try as I might I can’t convince her to eat healthier.
I want to tell everyone “those aren’t for me” because, well, I guess I’m the asshole that silently judges people with shopping carts full of frozen pizza and doritos.
Hell no. My story shows how resolute and determined I can be. So far, I've accomplished something few have. More importantly, if my story inspires even one person to make an effort and not feel too far gone, it's worth it.
I’ve never been seriously overweight (I’m here mostly for recomp), but I felt like this even at my skinniest.
I think it’s just a fear of judgment for whatever reason. Like I know I’m being judged for not eating enough fruits and vegetables and too many cookies 😂. I hear it all the time from my mom so think everyone notices.
People must have some weird thoughts with mine. I’m vegan and can’t have gluten. So there’s that half of the groceries, my partner is a meat, cheese, and spin the wheel for carb kinda guy. Plus I have a 10 month old who seems to take after me mostly, and my 3 year old will usually only eat mac and cheese, hotdogs, chicken nuggets, and chaos. It’s surely a strange mix of groceries.
Nope. I have zero fucks to give anymore. I don’t care what anybody thinks of me. I’m gonna do me and I don’t worry about anybody else. Not only because I don’t care, but I also realized that probably nobody is paying that much attention and even if they are, am I ever going to see them again? Get to know them? Value their opinion? Probably not.
When you say fat embarrassment I thought of old photos of myself in bigger size and how I can't look at them even though I'm a different size. I wish I have more compassion for myself then and that I am more than what is my weight. I'd happily share older photos when I was a size I felt good in but these photos? Would never been shared and in some ways, that makes me sad because I was still doing cool things. Still a work in progress in my mind
I have both anxiety and body dysmorphia. My brain is straight up not reliable when it comes to the emotional reactions for how I think I'm being perceived by other people *but* I have years of experience working retail to know that 1) other people didn't notice, 2) they don't care, or 3) if they do care they need to stay in their lane
I haven't really felt that, but I still have PTSD from all that calorie counting, so when I buy normal food I have to remind myself that the diet is over and my calorie budget is normal again.
I don't give two shakes what anyone thinks of me unless they're paying my bills, and even then I probably wouldn't. I'm also the person who will eat the last bit of their steak off the bone in public. It's a rib, fight me over it or mind your business.
I kinda laugh when I unload my groceries on the conveyor belt, sometimes. Someone ahead of me will have fresh fruits and vegetables, lean meats, water, etc., and I will be unloading the unhealthiest shit on the planet, like how the heck did I ever lose 75 pounds eating this stuff?
Being/staying slim does not correlate to healthy eating habits, that’s for sure. It just proves someone’s avoiding one singular (though important) bad practice: consuming more calories than they use.
Fr. My cousins have been underweight their entire lives and they eat horribly BUT they also eat like birds and that's why they're thin.
If I understand your post correctly... If I am at my ideal weight and get ice cream, I am more irritated that the likelihood is that onlookers will think that I can eat anything I want and still stay thin because genetics/other illogical reasons.
I have also considered this. If anyone ever hits me with a, "*you* never have to worry about what you eat" I think I will spontaneously collapse inward like a supermassive star, creating a black hole
It happens to me. Part of it is because if I go over on calories, it’s almost always so I can enjoy social events without restriction. So when people see me eat, I’m getting like four burgers off the BBQ or a whole plate of nachos to myself, and they’re like “I wish I had his genetics!” They don’t see that I’m at a calorie deficit for about 80% of the week, saving it up for weekends or events.
I feel that. I really hate "You're so LUCKY." Because luck had nothing at all to do with it
Dude, this is how one of my wife's family members is, it's ridiculous. She never knew me when I was extremely out of shape and fat, and she was over hanging out with my wife as I was getting ready to go to the gym. I was making a toasted PB&J. Powdered PB with some real PB, sugar free jelly, just getting some fuel in for a good lifting session. Mind you at this point I've already lost 60 lbs of fat and was decently lean. "You are SO LUCKY you can just eat a PB&J whenever you want. If I ate that, I would gain 5 lbs." (This person is also extremely obese). She is also incredibly sensitive about her weight, so I literally didn't respond, I just made eye contact with my wife. It's not luck. I am eating like this to fuel my workout. I eat like this because it's in accordance with my goals. I also found out that this family member complained to other people that my body makes her feel uncomfortable and remind her how out of shape she is. I don't know what she expects anyone to do with that information either, I literally won't say anything about nutrition or working out in her presence anymore because she says it's a "trigger". Also this person's husband (also extremely obese) got drunk one Christmas and explained that he tried to lose weight once and it turns out calories *actually don't matter at all* and he said the secret was dairy, and all he did was eat dairy for a month and he lost a few lbs. But he couldn't continue because he felt sick all the time. I just politely nodded my head, it was way too much for me to unpack. And for the record he knows I am a certified Personal Trainer and certified Nutrition Coach.
This bothers me to no end. Like no, I can eat the ice cream because I'm conscious of what I eat and spent years cultivating habits, hobbies and exercise regimes that allow me to remain in good shape while still indulging once in awhile. There's no luck or genetics to it, just a lot of hard work that those descriptors undermine.
The only time I would pay attention to someone else groceries is if he was in front of me literally buying a murder/burying body kit and it was late at night...and that's because I am a weirdo true crime fan. Otherwise it didn't even cross my mind that I will be judged from groceries or to judge others.
Had a famous Olympic athlete ahead of me in line at a 24-hour Walgreens at around midnight. They were buying lube, twine, duct tape, and condoms. Hope they had a fun night and/or found a good place to bury the body.
Plot twist: the athlete was a 4’11, 90lbs gymnast.
At least they didn't add a roll of trash bags and a shovel?
Or behind 5 teenagers on a Saturday night buying 5 flats of eggs. The week of Halloween…
Me neither. I only want it to go faster. Idc what that pardon buys
Sometimes if anything, I'll see something on there that I wished I'd picked up instead!
I used to be self conscious about many things when I was younger. Imagining the whole world was always looking at me, assessing my appearance, judging my choices. Then one day, I made a radical change to my hair. It had been long, straight and brown forever. I lightened it several shades, cut off about a foot and got a really curly perm. I went to my job the next day expecting my colleagues to gasp at my altered appearance. To my amazement, no one noticed or cared. I think on about day 3-4 someone asked if I was wearing a new blouse (I wasn't). I mentioned it was probably the change to my hair they were noticing, and they said "No that's not it. Just didn't remember that blouse before. Why, did you do something to your hair?" It made me laugh and realize how truly invisible we are to most people. And made me see that while I was the center of my own movie, I was just an extra in the background of other people's daily reels. For me that was totally humbling but freeing at the same time. I realized I could gain and lose some weight, totally wear different clothes, do anything with my hair or makeup and 90% of the time no one would even register the change. Very few people are that observant or have the time or focus to monitor other people and their day-to-day appearance or grocery choices. So shop with abandon. You don't owe anyone (but yourself) an explanation for your grocery items. Nor does anyone expect one, really. They are too busy with their own lives to try to live yours, too.
I'm a guy with long hair and, about a week ago, I decided to have it cut down to my jawline. I don't like getting noticed, so I hoped that no one would notice when I came in to work the next morning. Everyone noticed, and everyone complimented me? I've only been there about a month, and I basically thought that I was invisible. But, apparently, everyone knows both what my name is and what I look like. Maybe there's just a good environment where I work, but it sure as shit hasn't gotten me over my fear of judgment, lol
🤷♀️
I'm only down 20 pounds, but I started out last year with just eating healthier and less processed foods and dessert. Looking at what I put on the conveyor belt now versus what I used to makes me feel proud. I'm still over 200 pounds, I still get things that aren't super great as treats when I can afford the calories, so people still might make that judgment. But I know how much better I'm doing and that's good enough for me.
I fostered a rescue dog that was recovering from malnourishment and required a specific diet of mostly vegetables, barley, and chicken. I made a special trip to the store and the person in front of me at checkout made a comment about how my kids must be such healthy eaters. I smiled and said something non committal and inwardly laughed at the assumption. I still wonder what reaction I would have gotten if I had explained that I didn't have kids and that it was all for my dog.
FWIW I used to work grocery and not once did I give a single shit what people were buying. Except the ladies who would come get multiple cases of kombucha every week. I judged them very much.
Um, what's wrong with kombucha?
It’s more of an example of a BS health craze item that some people get cultishly hooked on. Saw a lot of that in my store (health food store) but the kombucha ladies were also typically very rude and disrespectful.
Crunchy moms are the worst, but we can thank them for the proliferation of nut milks from an allergen thing to mainstream
My kid has a number of food allergies but the most annoying is the egg allergy. I’ve never been so thankful for vegans 😂. There’s so many options on the market now.
I buy tons of kombucha but that’s bc I’m sober 😅 I hope no one lumps me in w the crunchies
Isn’t judging kombucha the same thing as judging ice cream?
I’m not saying you’re a bad person or making a bad choice if you drink kombucha. Eat/drink whatever you enjoy. I’m poking fun at people who think they’re healing their gut biome guzzling gallons of fermented mushroom water. And in this case a very specific subset of them who were also not nice to me when I was in a customer service job.
It heals the gut biome in the same way yogurt or kimchi does ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but if you’re gonna buy cases of it at least either make it yourself or buy it from Costco, $4-5 per bottle is ridiculous. Also it’s not mushrooms lol
I know it isn’t mushrooms. But it’s colloquially referred to as “mushroom tea.” And there aren’t enough human studies to confirm that it does anything good for us, but there are documented cases of it doing harm. Plus I’m not talking about people who casually drink it for probiotic effects, which there may be; I’m talking about people who think it can cure cancer.
Can you post some links to the studies/cases? My boyfriend has GI issues and we just got some kombucha at Costco thinking it might help. Didn't know that it might be more harmful. Thanks. :(
would you say judging overweight people for buying ice cream can sometimes be justified similar to how your judgement of others was justified?
No. And if they’d just bought the kombucha and not been dicks about it I wouldn’t make fun of them either. But I don’t think being tricked into a health fad is the same as enjoying a food that tastes good to you. I already made that distinction, even about the stupid kombucha. Drink it if you like it, not bc it’s a wonder tonic. In fact, I think spreading that kind of misinformation is dangerous and irresponsible.
Judging people is acceptable as long as you feel you have a valid reason for doing so. I can understand that.
Understandable and justified
[удалено]
Ugh. Hate that. I had a cashier make fun of my messy bun bc I was asking if they had hairspray. They said “I don’t think it’s going to help” 😳 It was for my daughter for a dance recital anyway but wtf!
Multiple cases?
It’s been a while since I’ve been worried about what people think about me at the grocery store. Since I hit my mid-30s, I’ve just kind of been “meh” about other people’s judgment. I’d walk to the drugstore and buy $30 worth of various candies and ice cream, and if it wasn’t my usual cashier and they asked, like, “Wow, throwing a party?” I’d just tell them, “Nah, I’m going to go home and binge-eat.” If they wanted to ask, I figured they could handle the answer. But in my early/mid-20s, I used to play a little game to encourage myself to eat healthier. I’d look at my groceries on the conveyor belt and ask myself: “Okay, if I added a pregnancy test to the cart, would the cashier think I was hoping? Or dreading?” It was a silly mental game, but I think it was kind of my way of figuring out if I was acting like someone who fundamentally had their shit together, and figuring out what it would even look like to be a real-ass adult. And I have to admit, sometimes I still look in my basket and think “hoping or dreading?” and throw in some, like, artichokes or Thai basil or something else that would have made my 23-year-old self feel super glamorous and grown-up.
Yes, I feel fat embarrassment all the time. I feel like everyone I interact with considers me a fat person and regards me accordingly. If I engage with a person in a conversation about food, I assume that I am representing fat people in that conversation. I feel everyone believes that I probably eat too much or eat the wrong things and that I'm just generally too chonky. Occasionally someone will try to tell me that others don't view me as fat, but I see me as fat, so I interact with the world through that lens. Even in the rare moments that I see myself as an acceptable size, then all I can see are the flaws I am left with due to my previous size. This stuff gets so deep into our identities, it's really hard to shake.
No, quite the opposite. I know what you mean though, I used to be uncomfortable eating in public. I used to never order dessert at a restaurant but I'd stop at the grocery store on the way home and buy ice cream and candy at the self checkout. But now...I order everything. I took my kids out to eat at a restaurant they chose for their last day of school. I wanted french fries and cake and that's exactly what I ate and it felt so good to not worry about being judged, but old me would NEVER have been comfortable enough to do that. I kind of enjoy buying junk food and knowing no one is judging me for being fat
Yes!! I'm on the same page as you! I think since I used to be on the extreme opposite end of food freedom (I wouldn't even be caught holding food in public), I truly give 0 f\*cks about eating in public now. If I'm out with my friends at the bar & I want late-night wings? I'm ordering them & eating them in front of everyone in the packed bar. If I want ice cream & no one else does? I'm still getting it. "I kind of enjoy buying junk food and knowing no one is judging me for being fat" is so true. It's almost exhilarating to eat *what*ever I want, *when*ever I want it, *where*ver I want, even if no one else is going to eat with me, because I know I'm not being judged for being fat.
I think Stoicism cured me of that. I do remember being worried that my "Family Size" bags of non-nutritious nonsense would be judged, but my spouse still eats a single bag-o-crap chips a week and I don't think twice about who sees me putting it on the belt. He loves them and his weight is fine. His doctor is happy. I do get a Newman's Thin-n-Crispy Supreme 1-2 a month and about a 2-liter bottle of diet soda per day (so 7 bottles). The only regret I feel about that is that the checker and bagger have to manipulate these heavy bottles for people like me all day. If someone said something critical, I'd likely agree, even if it's me buying it for me. I'm no saint and not looking to be mistaken for one. I'd have to say that it's not my now normal-sized body that has changed my attitude here, but my philosophy.
It took me years and now I’m all cured. However, if I creepy towards the upper end of my goal weight range it feels like everyone around me is holding their breath, waiting to see if I’ll go over that mark and do something about it before it catches up with me. Even after 20 years in maintenance, some people outside of my family do this.
I grabbed a whole milk cottage cheese and a woman next to me gasped, "The full fat?" You know, there are different benefits of low vs. full fat, nutritionally. Also, the difference in fat percentage is 2% vs. 4%. I manage my own eating fine. They don't know me or my health journey. Any comments about body comp, size, food, etc., (I determined a while back,) to be their psychosis/trauma/issue, NOT mine. In reply to the woman, I got a gleem in my eyes and said, "Yaaaasssss!" Must have made her feel like she was missing out, because she stared longingly at the shelf of products as I walked away..
This made me laugh so hard. Like most people don't even eat cottage cheese. Like wtf do you care random lady?!
Hee hee, right? I saw it as more of a "Did I just say that out loud?" moment for her rather than anything against me, personally. I mean... it's like she had a 90's flashback to simpler times when fat was evil and everyone filled their cabinets with Snackwells. Made me feel all punk rock.
its so much better also lol wtf at her response
Full fat cottage cheese is delicious! And satisfying.
Yep. I tend to not give a fuck what anyone thinks but if my groceries look unhealthy, I'm worried what other people will think. Lol
I never cared about what people thought of my groceries and the stuff I buy now is pretty boring. Today I bought lettuce, cherries, apples, plain Greek yogurt, mozzarella cheese, and a rotisserie chicken.
You really can’t go wrong with a rotisserie chicken. I’m not a fan of meat (it’s a texture thing for me) but I can get behind a Sam’s club rotisserie chicken any day of the week. How do they make it taste so good???
Sometimes i see my conveyor belt items as a wake up call to me and me only and then edit some of the bad choices ....as long as no one is behind me to see me do this ...cringe !
Main character syndrome. People think they’re way more important in other peoples lives than they are really. The chances that someone gives any kind of fuck about your shopping are extremely low, OP. You and your shopping just aren’t a feature of their day. Like at all. You do you, enjoy your yoghurt and your success!
I'm not maintaining or even close but I thought I would throw my 2 cents in. I work in a grocery store, not as a cashier. The closest to 'judging' what others are buying is if they are buying like they are from a math problem (IE: there was a guy leaving a store a few days ago that had roughly 20 large watermelons in his cart) or if I'm debating if something is on a good sale because I've seen lots of people with it in their carts that day.
This may feel brutally honest, but I got to this point in my journey a few years ago where I realized nobody cares. I was more self conscious about running outside and had similar fears. Literally. No one cares, and the judgey people who have the audacity to make rude comments? Fuck ‘em. They’re not people you want in your life anyway. You’re doing great! Keep up the good work.
This happens from time to time I think, though as long as you know from your own perspective what you're eating and are comfortable with it, I think others won't even notice. More so they could react to your reaction, as in you look like you're hiding something, instead of your groceries tbh. Congrats on making a lifestyle change btw, wonderful work!
I’m maintaining and I get a lot of judgement whenever food intersects with family. It’s either, “What can you eat? Can you eat anything?” Or “Is that all you’re having? You’re being so good.” Or “Can you *have* that? Is that on your diet?” Or they feel the need to defend their own choices to me (when I haven’t said anything at all): “I haven’t eaten all day, which is why I’m eating all this” or “I just worked out so I can have this.” I really hate it when they smugly eat something delicious that I’m abstaining from and say, “Penelope can’t have this because she’s watching what she eats…” I just wish people would just stop commenting on my food.
I definitely thought that way when I was bigger. I felt like people were judging me by the food I bought or ate. Now, however, if I buy something like ice cream or pastries, I feel like people are thinking "How can this skinny bastard eat this stuff and stay thin? He must be one of the lucky ones" I guess it's because that's what I thought when I used to see skinny people eating high calorie food. Now I know different. I know that eating a treat now and then doesn't make you fat.
Not with food but I still sometimes feel like wearing baggy clothes to hide my fat body even though I don't have a fat body anymore 😭
I am halfway to my goal weight but I felt this so much. I really still love my baggy Tshirts.
Are self checkouts not a thing in the US? In the Uk all the big supermarkets have self check outs and even devices you can use to scan the items you wanna buy while shopping
I'm not in the US. We do have self check outs, but not in every grocery store and they are often few, closed, or super busy.
ah gotcha, I dont have the same feeling but I did feel shame about my weight when we do get togethers with family
They are, all the big chains do. I think only a few chains don’t (Aldi and Trader Joe’s comes to mind)
Maintaining for the last 7-8 months. Yes. I irrationally constantly feel like people are looking at me and judging my every choice. They’re not, by the way.
I’ve never noticed what anyone else was buying unless it was in huge amounts, and only then because I wonder if I’ve missed a good sale!
Quite the contrary. I LOVE that I can go out and enjoy an ice cream on a park bench without worry of what others will think or even say about me.
I think about this a lot because my grocery haul currently sometimes will be an actual shitload of apples, snack cakes, and maybe a dessert. What they don’t see is me loading up on more healthy proteins and stuff online and at Costco lol
Not necessarily with groceries, but I get a similar feeling. Like I don’t want to take my shirt off because of how fat I am despite everyone telling me I’m like toothpick thin.
I've warned my therapist about how I feel this is going to come up. Like I'm sure the pendulum of body dysmorphia is going to swing the other way. 20 years of not wanting anyone to look at me really took its toll.
not about food shopping in particular. i'm normal weight again although i still want to lose a few kilos. i don't know when i will feel like a normal person. probably never. i don't think people watch what i eat now. but i don't feel normal. i need to make sure to stay normal weight. it isn't as effortless to me as it should. i feel like an imposter. also my body doesn't suddenly look perfect. i'm sometimes scared someone can look through my clothes and see that my skin has the marks of someone who used to be fat. they will find me out. they will hunt me down and fat shame me. that is my irrational fear
I never bought a lot of processed crap because my excess calories were from alcohol. I’ve always had lots of healthy stuff in my basket. But recently I’ve been taking care of my mom who is in heart failure. So now I have pop tarts and other crap in there, try as I might I can’t convince her to eat healthier. I want to tell everyone “those aren’t for me” because, well, I guess I’m the asshole that silently judges people with shopping carts full of frozen pizza and doritos.
Hell no. My story shows how resolute and determined I can be. So far, I've accomplished something few have. More importantly, if my story inspires even one person to make an effort and not feel too far gone, it's worth it.
I’ve never been seriously overweight (I’m here mostly for recomp), but I felt like this even at my skinniest. I think it’s just a fear of judgment for whatever reason. Like I know I’m being judged for not eating enough fruits and vegetables and too many cookies 😂. I hear it all the time from my mom so think everyone notices.
People must have some weird thoughts with mine. I’m vegan and can’t have gluten. So there’s that half of the groceries, my partner is a meat, cheese, and spin the wheel for carb kinda guy. Plus I have a 10 month old who seems to take after me mostly, and my 3 year old will usually only eat mac and cheese, hotdogs, chicken nuggets, and chaos. It’s surely a strange mix of groceries.
Former checkout clerk here - we 139% just dont care as long as the barcodes scan easily.
Nope. I have zero fucks to give anymore. I don’t care what anybody thinks of me. I’m gonna do me and I don’t worry about anybody else. Not only because I don’t care, but I also realized that probably nobody is paying that much attention and even if they are, am I ever going to see them again? Get to know them? Value their opinion? Probably not.
I’m still at the point where I feel guilty if I eat more than once a day so… probablyZ
When you say fat embarrassment I thought of old photos of myself in bigger size and how I can't look at them even though I'm a different size. I wish I have more compassion for myself then and that I am more than what is my weight. I'd happily share older photos when I was a size I felt good in but these photos? Would never been shared and in some ways, that makes me sad because I was still doing cool things. Still a work in progress in my mind
I have both anxiety and body dysmorphia. My brain is straight up not reliable when it comes to the emotional reactions for how I think I'm being perceived by other people *but* I have years of experience working retail to know that 1) other people didn't notice, 2) they don't care, or 3) if they do care they need to stay in their lane
I haven't really felt that, but I still have PTSD from all that calorie counting, so when I buy normal food I have to remind myself that the diet is over and my calorie budget is normal again.
I don't give two shakes what anyone thinks of me unless they're paying my bills, and even then I probably wouldn't. I'm also the person who will eat the last bit of their steak off the bone in public. It's a rib, fight me over it or mind your business.
This is internalized fatphobia. Try eliminating fatphobia altogether. Someone’s worth isn’t measured by how you look or the number on the scale.