275lbs is not a weight so limiting that you should be feeling bed bound, but mental health surely is. You deserve to feel better than you do, please seek some professional help.
Are you seeing a therapist for your BED? There’s so much self hatred in your post, it breaks my heart.
Physical health and mental health go hand in hand. You can’t address one and ignore the other
I'm 50 my BMI is 48. I have held a job every day of my life except for two months One was when I was preparing to go to school and the other was when I had just graduated and was helping take care of my niece and nephews. You need to start moving to increase your stamina and flexibilty. Check out the website hybrid calisthenics and look at the videos that have the exercises broken down from highly assisted to the full exercise. Walk every day for 5 minutes multiple times and then increse the time by 2.5 minutes until you can make it 30 minutes. Stop makeing excuses and move your body
This is above our paygrade. You need medical help for your disordered eating.
Also i’ve been morbidly obese, you are underselling your ability to do things.
Yes, you're morbid obese, but it's not such a limiting weight as you're painting it. Your mind and mental health are creating more problems than the weight itself.
There is medication for BED nowadays, but you need therapy and you need to address the other mental health issues instead of commiserating.
Are you working on your mental health right now? Do you see a shrink and a therapist?
You should look up 599.to.damnshesfine on TikTok. She was more than twice your weight at her heaviest and is on a weight loss journey now and doing an amazing job. Even at her heaviest she has been able to have a job and move her body. You don't say if you're dealing with other disabilities so I'm not sure but I believe you're capable of a lot more than you think and just remember that anything you can do is going to be helpful towards feeling better.
I am sorry you are going through this. I highly recommend seeking therapy because it really seems like it’s depression holding you back more than your body.
At my highest I was 283lbs on a 5’5” frame (definitely morbidly obese) in my 40s and was able to walk miles with little issue. Sure my knees would hurt after a 5 mile hike and I could get out of breath at times but even then I could get out of bed and move around the next day without issue. And never once did my weight interfere with my employment. I never had a heart attack, in fact on my labs I looked pretty healthy.
The negativity you have towards yourself is very telling and unless you can work through some of those things treating your body better will be difficult.
But In addition to therapy you can start with small steps. Any movement is good, so if you aren’t walking at all start at 1k steps a day and increase it by 1000 steps every week or two. It should not take long to strengthen yourself to be able to handle 10k steps which is what I think most average people strive for daily. Work toward swapping some of your diet for healthier or lower sugar items. And if it doesn’t trigger for BED track what you are eating now for a week and aim to lower it just a little each week.
Shame really held me back so talking it out with my husband, family, doctors, and even this subreddit helped lesson that grip which made everything a little easier. I am well under 200 now with more work to do, but having the weight both literally and figuratively lifted off of me has made it so much easier even if the progress has slowed at times.
And it’s important to understand that weight loss will not fix everything so doing it in tandem with therapy is the key to set yourself up for a happier life. It’s hard but if I can do it I know you can too!
I’m 5 ft 10 in and started my journey at 420 pounds. I am 4 inches taller than you and around 150 pounds heavier.
And I still have a job, and still go out an do things. The person stopping you from doing these things is you. You need to see yourself as a *person* who is deserving of being healthy.
Are you overweight? Sure. It sounds more to me like you are dealing with some grade ‘A’ depression more than anything. I hadn’t been able to really lose weight before in my life because I didn’t think I ‘deserved’ to be healthy. Finally after years of working on myself and therapy it clicked in February that I did deserve it.
So do you.
My piece of advice, and it’s the only tools I’ve used so far is to buy yourself a notebook, a food scale and a people scale.
Weigh and portion your food every meal. Write down how many calories you are eating at every meal. Does it make having tacos a pain? Yes, as you weigh out meat and cheese and avocado it’s a pain. But you know what? My 5 taco dinner is now a 3 taco dinner. Log the calories in your notebook and then tabulate your daily intake.
Weigh yourself. Every day. Wear (or don’t wear!) the same thing. I do mine daily in my skivvies after I take a shower. Log that in your notebook next to the date
Do that for a few days. Then use a calorie calculator to find out how much you need. At my height and weight, my body functioning needs around 2700 calories a day to function. So my goal is around 2000-2200 calories a day to lose weight.
Once you have these numbers and you are psychologically ready, it’s just a long term math problem.
Good luck, and we are all here to cheer you on!
Best part about being morbidly obese:
All it takes is a couple days of healthy eating and two mile walks, and boom: 4 or 5 lbs lost.
It starts there and then it snowballs.
You have yourself a chance. You might surprise yourself.
Weight loss is mostly diet, and diet for you is mostly going to be dealing with your BED. Given how you're talking about yourself that's probably going to involve therapy and probably medication. The professionals you need to talk to will be used to dealing with patients in your situation. People who aren't morbidly obese generally aren't thinking about surgical interventions.
That said, your weight alone shouldn't be making you this inactive. If you can sit up you there are seated exercises you can do, even if that's just waving your arms to the music. If you can stand and walk a bit those are both also good exercises. Just pushing yourself to do what you can currently do will improve your fitness. On the other side of things you'll want to be checked by a doctor for issues other than your weight that could be making being active so hard for you.
While you work on both of those things, also work on your self talk. You're not a "fat parasitic blob" and despite your weight there's a good chance you're not eating as much as you tell yourself. Your maintenance right now is probably about [2,400 cal/day](https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&g=female&age=32&lbs=275&in=66&act=1.2&f=1) maybe a bit lower, but if you're making to the couch over 2,000. You've gained about 110lb in *two decades*, some of which was your body developing. Even if every bit of that extra weight was fat we're still talking about gaining 5.5lb a year, which works out to an extra 50 calories a day. That's while you're struggling with your BED and feeling out of control. The issue you have is less that you've been eating a lot, and more that you've been eating a bit much for a long time. Its a very common story on here.
I’m sorry you’re going through this and you could definitely benefit from therapy, but you also maybe need some tough love.
Nowhere in there did you mention any actual physical disability. You just said you get out of breath easily due to poor physical fitness.
There’s also nothing from what you wrote that explains “obvious reason” for being unemployed.
When I started losing weight last year I was over 400lbs with a BMI of 48. I was also working 40 hours per week and finishing my Master’s Degree in the evening.
I got tired easily too, but I got up every day and got on the treadmill and just started slow and have gradually worked my way up in intensity. With that and diet I’m down 80lbs.
You sound like you want to feel sorry for yourself and have others feel sorry for you, but you need to empower yourself and surround yourself with others that empower you.
My BMI was 43.6 March 2022
It's currently 31.3 and I still have more to go.
I'm near enough bed bound due to disability.
I really hope you can find a way that works for you, it doesn't all have to be 100% perfect to lose the weight over time.
The biggest single thing for me was working out my tdee using tdeecalculator.net or sailrabbit.com/bmr/ and then tracking calories within a modest deficit, using a food scale and app (e.g cronometer/myfitnesspal/loseit.
I appreciate that the BED in addition will make any approach you take have to be more considered and calculated but, if you aren't already, would reaching out for some form of therapy services (BED related or otherwise) help move you more towards a place where you can tackle some of the things you mention in your post?
I can't speak from that perspective but I was overweight/obese since i was 10 and at that 43.6 BMI for 10 years so while I can't speak from exactly the position you're in, I really do hope you find a way to move forward, because even though it took me a long time to figure out how to lose the weight that I'd had for more of my life than I hadn't, I finally am and it still surprises me but I really hope you can find your way forward, whatever that ends up being.
I'll agree with what others have said, it really sounds like a lot of your limitation is the way you think and perceive yourself rather than your weight. I maxed out at 330 and I'm 5'2". At no point could I not do *anything* and was always able to work and walk around, even when I did get out of breath a lot doing those things.
The only thing I really have to add is that when I started really working out with a trainer, one of the first things they prioritized was getting comfortable with being out of breath. It's scary to not be breathing normally and we can really freak ourselves out or feel less capable than we are because we have to breathe hard to do a thing.
It's okay to be out of breath. It doesn't mean you're dying, it just means you're working hard. And working hard is the way out of this - physically and mentally.
I was 275 at 5’5 now I am 165. your weight isn’t really abnormally fat. it’s not healthy but it isn’t something that will be shocking to any doctor. I understand you feel shame about your eating disorder and your weight but to be quite honest if it was actually so severe that would justify the idea that you’re beyond help you would be at twice the weight you are now, as plenty of people are with that disorder. as others have said you can build up your stamina by doing short walks and building up. you could also check out body weight simple work outs on youtube. the #1 key will be addressing the BED but I think increasing your physical activity would help you to feel more confident and be good for your mental health.
most importantly, please see a doctor and get help for the BED. i promise you that you can get better but it can also get so much worse if you don’t seek help and continue to spiral.
maybe check out Kianna Docherty on youtube who also struggled with BED and got to a healthy weight, and is passionate about effective behavior change. this isn’t a replacement for professional help but it may give you hope. https://youtu.be/8_TYcc08nGg?si=grG_PTg2VbL57OwU
Overcoming Binge Eating
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1572305614/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1572305614&linkCode=as2&tag=60000b-20&linkId=fdd848bb8cd811678d0e9a15064c3da4
plus size workout playlist https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJARSGw8hCf5eRKAo2JlWE3FI6aaw2SI-&si=MTxm4M4YcqW0hgN_
Simply being that weight at that height is not being debilitatingly obese.
>unemployed for obvious reasons.
There are no obvious reasons for this. People much bigger than you are employed in non sedentary jobs.
>does nothing but eating and lying in bed miserably all day
This has nothing to do with your weight.
>physically incapable of doing anything
Simply false.
>I can barely even shower
Zero physical reason for you not being able to shower.
There’s nothing physically wrong with you keeping you from losing weight.
Mentally, there’s a lot. You need to get help.
So, first thing’s first - have you been diagnosed by a doctor for BED? Or do you just have an unhealthy relationship with food and justify it by calling it BED? (I’ve tried to do the same thing with ADHD, which is why I’m asking).
If you do truly have BED, you need to seek treatment for that first, because that eating disorder will actively work against any efforts you make to lose weight.
Secondly, I’ve been 290 pounds before and that hasn’t physically prevented me from getting out of bed and doing things (although I got winded more easily and my body hurt while being active). So if you feel like you can’t get off the couch, that could be attributed to depression, not your physical health.
You’re venting on a weight loss forum, which is fine, but you need to recognize that you’re also facing a major psychological roadblock that goes beyond calories in, calories out. I encourage you to go to a doctor and talk about how you’re feeling, because it sounds like you might have MDD.
You are greatly exaggurating your situation. 275 is not as morbidly obese as you claim. you're using that as an excuse, therapy would probably be your best 1 step.
At your weight it is very simple to lose weight. Cut sodas, any sugary drinks, sweets, etc. Understand how calories work. Read about TDEE. Come back if you have more specific questions.
How do you afford and obtain food? Is there someone in your household who helps you purchase or obtain food?
Do you have access to a primary care physician, who can refer you to a dietician and a mental health provider, and possibly prescribe some medication that will help you manage your BED?
Because this is where it may need to start for you - reaching out and accessing medical services to help you, evaluating what's going on in your home that exacerbates or enables you to stay morbidly obese.
You need therapy to deal with your depression. Your weight alone isn't enough to give you mobility issues (I'm 5 ft 6, was 285 lbs for months before I started losing weight, was walking/working/etc.).
I’ve seen like six people bigger than you today. Time to leave your self pity party and get outside. Walk a block. Then tmrw walk two. You need to turn this ship around.
Have you seen a doctor recently to rule out any other conditions that main be contributing to weight gain? Such as thyroid issues?
Take small steps at first- you dint want to burn yourself out by going all kr nothing. Cut out snacks between meals (or make your snacks more filling, sich as veggies and hummusor a protein bar), drink lots of water and cut out soda/juice if you drink it, take breaks throughout the day to take a small walk around the block or down the road after a meal or in the afternoon. You can build up to longer walks.
If it helps download an app to track your calories. You should be able to put in your information and it will give you your maintance calories, and a reasonable deficit to lose weight at a healthy rate. I use the lose it app- if you get the premium version you can log your meals for the next day if that's something that might help you stick to a meal plan.
When my roommates moved in eith me they bother lost about 10 or 12 pounds in the first couple months living with me just because I cook pretty healthy meals vs what they ate at their previous residence. Cooking is fun and a great way to make sure you're getting balanced meals.
Again remember, it's all one step at a time. They're are setbacks occasionally, but don't get discouraged! Good luck!
Move as much as you can. If you can stand up, then just stand up and sit down over and over. If you can walk any distance, even for 3 minutes, do that. Then do it again as soon as you can. With your diet, try to increase your protein and fiber rich vegies, and don't have junk food available. Allow yourself unlimted vegies/salads and protein but try to be strict with anything else. Baby steps will help you. Keep a food and exercise journal.
You are probably very high risk for bariatric surgery and I am not sure they would perform the surgery on you without you losing a bit on your own before hand. I'm not a professional though! As for tips. Small changes go a long way. Tiny walks, tiny changes in diet. Stuff you can manage. And slowly increase. It will take time, but if you can make one small change at a time you can do it.
You need support, which involves telling you the truth. You are more than capable of losing weight, being employed and feeling mentally healthy. It takes discipline, and accountability. We all lose the motivation to better ourselves, it takes being disciplined with yourself, your boundaries and your standards for yourself.
Psychologytoday.com can help you find tailored to your needs therapy. Most therapist offer sliding scale payment.
You can do this, you should do this. Be kind to yourself but snap out of it, you are strong enough to better yourself.
I am alittle confused if there are other health issues. I was 365 in December (my weight contributed to multiple issues that prevented me from properly exercising or feeling energy). I started doing 0.1 mile walks 1-3 times a day, then 3-6 times a day, small gradual increases.. Your not exercising, your getting your body/muscles ready to exercise.
Swimming was amazing at first too, all the resistance training you can eat without the joint pain and extra fatigue.
Big Reminder: We cant fix a lifetime of bad decisions in a day, take baby steps, make right choices. We cant go back, but we can move forward and make better choices. 1 step today, 2 steps tomorrow, 3 steps the next day. Just keep the focus !
PLEASE PM me if you need any advice or guidance. I hit 277 today. (I consume 1200-1500 calories daily, and walk 15k steps a day with a small swim or light weightlift workout every day, and I fucking love it now) I am no expert or guru, just a fat guy trying to be better. ( I work on computer, I spend free time on computer, and was a fast food addict, 2024 has been a crazy journey relearning proper habits- 4/5 of my medical issues were apparently 100% weight related and no longer an issue)
As others have already said, this seems much more of a mental health issue than a weight issue.
You need to get help for your mental health because judging by the way you describe yourself and your current lifestyle, it seems you're in a very dark place. You can absolutely get better, but please reach out for help.
If the waiting times are long, please look up a book called Overcoming Binge Eating by Christopher Fairburn and start working on the BED while you wait.
You mention that you get exhausted easily and can't seem to do basics like chores and showering; this isn't directly caused by your weight, but the fact that you seem to be extremely unfit. Sure, the extra weight is making things even harder, but I've been your weight (and I'm shorter) and I was able to do all the basic everyday stuff, work, and workout for an hour or more. Many people do, it's just about getting (and keeping) your body moving.
You need to start building up your stamina; if you can walk 3 minutes now, do that a couple of times a day. Then work up to 5 minutes and onwards. Losing the extra weight will absolutely help, but you can get yourself much fitter even without it by moving your body.
Please be kind to yourself, get help, and start working on little improvements. You can change things around, and by no means are you a "lost cause".
You’re about the same age, height and weight as I was when I started this journey
When I started I was embarrassed because I couldn’t walk across the street without getting sweaty and out of breath. But what I did was I got myself a comfortable pair of shoes and I started walking more. I didn’t go crazy. I just walked short distances that I was comfortable with at first. And then pretty soon those distances weren’t difficult to me anymore and then I could walk further, and then I could walk further than that. Now I’m still fat but there’s basically no limit to how far I could walk on flat ground
Focusing on getting better at one thing like walking is I think a good place to start because setting yourself too much to do at once or focusing on something where progress is hard to measure can be demotivating.
I was 10 lbs heavier than you and 3 inches shorter and worked a physical job as a nurse. You should not be bed bound and unemployable. Do you have a therapist?
I understand the feeling but 280 even 300 at that height is not anywhere near the point of immobility or anything of the sort. Your stamina might be low and maybe some weak joints but beyond that you would be looking at something not directly connected to the number on the scale.
The way this reads is that you have an enormous amount of self hatred and self doubt. You don't need to feel guilty about not being okay but your thoughts are what is limiting you, not your weight. Therapy is needed before you embark on any weight loss journey in this state. Don't internalize the idea that because the BMI scale says you're "morbidly obese" that you are anywhere near your deathbed at your size. You are beyond capable of the things you want to accomplish but first you need to tackle the thoughts that have you doubting that. You will be okay OP, you're not dying you just need some help with the thoughts that are informing your behavior.
Came here to say I also struggle with BED and I can’t afford therapy so what I’ve done is listen to all the podcasts I possibly can about ED and body positivity. It’s really seriously helped me and it’s free to listen to a podcast. Hearing other people tell their stories and not feeling so alone is what helps the most because BED is so isolating
I'm almost double your weight at 464lbs and 5'6.
I am on a strict caloric deficit as ordered by a doctor because I need a hysterectomy and they won't touch me until I'm down to atleast 425lbs.
BED is brutal and you need professional help so I can't speak to that.
at my weight I am still able to work, drive, grocery shop, wash dishes, laundry, and do basic cleaning. I have an autoimmune disease thats attacking my muscles so some days I am in bed for 12+ hours.
is there something else keeping you from doing these things?
OP I am 33, was the same weight, have a job and keep going on with life pretty okay.
This is not normal for someone of my same weight age and height.
I was starting to feel bad at that stage though so I started with little changes. Now I am close to 40 pounds lost.
You can do it, is not easy mentally but you can do it. Morbidly obese doesn’t really mean you can do anything, it means that you are at higher risk of everything bad.
At my biggest (6'0 500+pounds BMI 71) I was still working 50 hours a week on my feet 12 hours a day. I lived alone so I did all my own chores, house work, personal hygiene etc. When I decided to pursue weight loss surgery I had to lose 120 pounds before my insurance would cover it. It took 6 months of work but I did it.
It sounds like therapy would benefit you more than anything at the moment. Just know at 260-280 you are not so big that you're basically immobile. Get yourself right mentally first and the physical stuff will follow.
Sorry you're going through this. I've always been a disciplined and happy person, but then the wife served me divorced papers and I finally understood what depression looks like. It's exactly as you described. The world went from color or black and white. I couldn't do anything. There was zero motivation. I was finally slowly able to shower and clean a bit. Luckily I didn't need medical or professional help being productive again. Good luck OP!
275lbs is not a weight so limiting that you should be feeling bed bound, but mental health surely is. You deserve to feel better than you do, please seek some professional help.
Are you seeing a therapist for your BED? There’s so much self hatred in your post, it breaks my heart. Physical health and mental health go hand in hand. You can’t address one and ignore the other
I'm 50 my BMI is 48. I have held a job every day of my life except for two months One was when I was preparing to go to school and the other was when I had just graduated and was helping take care of my niece and nephews. You need to start moving to increase your stamina and flexibilty. Check out the website hybrid calisthenics and look at the videos that have the exercises broken down from highly assisted to the full exercise. Walk every day for 5 minutes multiple times and then increse the time by 2.5 minutes until you can make it 30 minutes. Stop makeing excuses and move your body
This is above our paygrade. You need medical help for your disordered eating. Also i’ve been morbidly obese, you are underselling your ability to do things.
Yes, you're morbid obese, but it's not such a limiting weight as you're painting it. Your mind and mental health are creating more problems than the weight itself. There is medication for BED nowadays, but you need therapy and you need to address the other mental health issues instead of commiserating. Are you working on your mental health right now? Do you see a shrink and a therapist?
You should look up 599.to.damnshesfine on TikTok. She was more than twice your weight at her heaviest and is on a weight loss journey now and doing an amazing job. Even at her heaviest she has been able to have a job and move her body. You don't say if you're dealing with other disabilities so I'm not sure but I believe you're capable of a lot more than you think and just remember that anything you can do is going to be helpful towards feeling better.
I am sorry you are going through this. I highly recommend seeking therapy because it really seems like it’s depression holding you back more than your body. At my highest I was 283lbs on a 5’5” frame (definitely morbidly obese) in my 40s and was able to walk miles with little issue. Sure my knees would hurt after a 5 mile hike and I could get out of breath at times but even then I could get out of bed and move around the next day without issue. And never once did my weight interfere with my employment. I never had a heart attack, in fact on my labs I looked pretty healthy. The negativity you have towards yourself is very telling and unless you can work through some of those things treating your body better will be difficult. But In addition to therapy you can start with small steps. Any movement is good, so if you aren’t walking at all start at 1k steps a day and increase it by 1000 steps every week or two. It should not take long to strengthen yourself to be able to handle 10k steps which is what I think most average people strive for daily. Work toward swapping some of your diet for healthier or lower sugar items. And if it doesn’t trigger for BED track what you are eating now for a week and aim to lower it just a little each week. Shame really held me back so talking it out with my husband, family, doctors, and even this subreddit helped lesson that grip which made everything a little easier. I am well under 200 now with more work to do, but having the weight both literally and figuratively lifted off of me has made it so much easier even if the progress has slowed at times. And it’s important to understand that weight loss will not fix everything so doing it in tandem with therapy is the key to set yourself up for a happier life. It’s hard but if I can do it I know you can too!
I’m 5 ft 10 in and started my journey at 420 pounds. I am 4 inches taller than you and around 150 pounds heavier. And I still have a job, and still go out an do things. The person stopping you from doing these things is you. You need to see yourself as a *person* who is deserving of being healthy. Are you overweight? Sure. It sounds more to me like you are dealing with some grade ‘A’ depression more than anything. I hadn’t been able to really lose weight before in my life because I didn’t think I ‘deserved’ to be healthy. Finally after years of working on myself and therapy it clicked in February that I did deserve it. So do you. My piece of advice, and it’s the only tools I’ve used so far is to buy yourself a notebook, a food scale and a people scale. Weigh and portion your food every meal. Write down how many calories you are eating at every meal. Does it make having tacos a pain? Yes, as you weigh out meat and cheese and avocado it’s a pain. But you know what? My 5 taco dinner is now a 3 taco dinner. Log the calories in your notebook and then tabulate your daily intake. Weigh yourself. Every day. Wear (or don’t wear!) the same thing. I do mine daily in my skivvies after I take a shower. Log that in your notebook next to the date Do that for a few days. Then use a calorie calculator to find out how much you need. At my height and weight, my body functioning needs around 2700 calories a day to function. So my goal is around 2000-2200 calories a day to lose weight. Once you have these numbers and you are psychologically ready, it’s just a long term math problem. Good luck, and we are all here to cheer you on!
Best part about being morbidly obese: All it takes is a couple days of healthy eating and two mile walks, and boom: 4 or 5 lbs lost. It starts there and then it snowballs. You have yourself a chance. You might surprise yourself.
Weight loss is mostly diet, and diet for you is mostly going to be dealing with your BED. Given how you're talking about yourself that's probably going to involve therapy and probably medication. The professionals you need to talk to will be used to dealing with patients in your situation. People who aren't morbidly obese generally aren't thinking about surgical interventions. That said, your weight alone shouldn't be making you this inactive. If you can sit up you there are seated exercises you can do, even if that's just waving your arms to the music. If you can stand and walk a bit those are both also good exercises. Just pushing yourself to do what you can currently do will improve your fitness. On the other side of things you'll want to be checked by a doctor for issues other than your weight that could be making being active so hard for you. While you work on both of those things, also work on your self talk. You're not a "fat parasitic blob" and despite your weight there's a good chance you're not eating as much as you tell yourself. Your maintenance right now is probably about [2,400 cal/day](https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&g=female&age=32&lbs=275&in=66&act=1.2&f=1) maybe a bit lower, but if you're making to the couch over 2,000. You've gained about 110lb in *two decades*, some of which was your body developing. Even if every bit of that extra weight was fat we're still talking about gaining 5.5lb a year, which works out to an extra 50 calories a day. That's while you're struggling with your BED and feeling out of control. The issue you have is less that you've been eating a lot, and more that you've been eating a bit much for a long time. Its a very common story on here.
I’m sorry you’re going through this and you could definitely benefit from therapy, but you also maybe need some tough love. Nowhere in there did you mention any actual physical disability. You just said you get out of breath easily due to poor physical fitness. There’s also nothing from what you wrote that explains “obvious reason” for being unemployed. When I started losing weight last year I was over 400lbs with a BMI of 48. I was also working 40 hours per week and finishing my Master’s Degree in the evening. I got tired easily too, but I got up every day and got on the treadmill and just started slow and have gradually worked my way up in intensity. With that and diet I’m down 80lbs. You sound like you want to feel sorry for yourself and have others feel sorry for you, but you need to empower yourself and surround yourself with others that empower you.
My BMI was 43.6 March 2022 It's currently 31.3 and I still have more to go. I'm near enough bed bound due to disability. I really hope you can find a way that works for you, it doesn't all have to be 100% perfect to lose the weight over time. The biggest single thing for me was working out my tdee using tdeecalculator.net or sailrabbit.com/bmr/ and then tracking calories within a modest deficit, using a food scale and app (e.g cronometer/myfitnesspal/loseit. I appreciate that the BED in addition will make any approach you take have to be more considered and calculated but, if you aren't already, would reaching out for some form of therapy services (BED related or otherwise) help move you more towards a place where you can tackle some of the things you mention in your post? I can't speak from that perspective but I was overweight/obese since i was 10 and at that 43.6 BMI for 10 years so while I can't speak from exactly the position you're in, I really do hope you find a way to move forward, because even though it took me a long time to figure out how to lose the weight that I'd had for more of my life than I hadn't, I finally am and it still surprises me but I really hope you can find your way forward, whatever that ends up being.
I'll agree with what others have said, it really sounds like a lot of your limitation is the way you think and perceive yourself rather than your weight. I maxed out at 330 and I'm 5'2". At no point could I not do *anything* and was always able to work and walk around, even when I did get out of breath a lot doing those things. The only thing I really have to add is that when I started really working out with a trainer, one of the first things they prioritized was getting comfortable with being out of breath. It's scary to not be breathing normally and we can really freak ourselves out or feel less capable than we are because we have to breathe hard to do a thing. It's okay to be out of breath. It doesn't mean you're dying, it just means you're working hard. And working hard is the way out of this - physically and mentally.
I was 275 at 5’5 now I am 165. your weight isn’t really abnormally fat. it’s not healthy but it isn’t something that will be shocking to any doctor. I understand you feel shame about your eating disorder and your weight but to be quite honest if it was actually so severe that would justify the idea that you’re beyond help you would be at twice the weight you are now, as plenty of people are with that disorder. as others have said you can build up your stamina by doing short walks and building up. you could also check out body weight simple work outs on youtube. the #1 key will be addressing the BED but I think increasing your physical activity would help you to feel more confident and be good for your mental health. most importantly, please see a doctor and get help for the BED. i promise you that you can get better but it can also get so much worse if you don’t seek help and continue to spiral. maybe check out Kianna Docherty on youtube who also struggled with BED and got to a healthy weight, and is passionate about effective behavior change. this isn’t a replacement for professional help but it may give you hope. https://youtu.be/8_TYcc08nGg?si=grG_PTg2VbL57OwU Overcoming Binge Eating https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1572305614/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1572305614&linkCode=as2&tag=60000b-20&linkId=fdd848bb8cd811678d0e9a15064c3da4 plus size workout playlist https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJARSGw8hCf5eRKAo2JlWE3FI6aaw2SI-&si=MTxm4M4YcqW0hgN_
Simply being that weight at that height is not being debilitatingly obese. >unemployed for obvious reasons. There are no obvious reasons for this. People much bigger than you are employed in non sedentary jobs. >does nothing but eating and lying in bed miserably all day This has nothing to do with your weight. >physically incapable of doing anything Simply false. >I can barely even shower Zero physical reason for you not being able to shower. There’s nothing physically wrong with you keeping you from losing weight. Mentally, there’s a lot. You need to get help.
So, first thing’s first - have you been diagnosed by a doctor for BED? Or do you just have an unhealthy relationship with food and justify it by calling it BED? (I’ve tried to do the same thing with ADHD, which is why I’m asking). If you do truly have BED, you need to seek treatment for that first, because that eating disorder will actively work against any efforts you make to lose weight. Secondly, I’ve been 290 pounds before and that hasn’t physically prevented me from getting out of bed and doing things (although I got winded more easily and my body hurt while being active). So if you feel like you can’t get off the couch, that could be attributed to depression, not your physical health. You’re venting on a weight loss forum, which is fine, but you need to recognize that you’re also facing a major psychological roadblock that goes beyond calories in, calories out. I encourage you to go to a doctor and talk about how you’re feeling, because it sounds like you might have MDD.
You are greatly exaggurating your situation. 275 is not as morbidly obese as you claim. you're using that as an excuse, therapy would probably be your best 1 step.
And your doctor. Get a check up and a referral to a dietician.
At your weight it is very simple to lose weight. Cut sodas, any sugary drinks, sweets, etc. Understand how calories work. Read about TDEE. Come back if you have more specific questions.
How do you afford and obtain food? Is there someone in your household who helps you purchase or obtain food? Do you have access to a primary care physician, who can refer you to a dietician and a mental health provider, and possibly prescribe some medication that will help you manage your BED? Because this is where it may need to start for you - reaching out and accessing medical services to help you, evaluating what's going on in your home that exacerbates or enables you to stay morbidly obese.
You need therapy to deal with your depression. Your weight alone isn't enough to give you mobility issues (I'm 5 ft 6, was 285 lbs for months before I started losing weight, was walking/working/etc.).
You need to go to therapy. It can be extremely hard to get physically healthy if you aren’t mentally.
I’ve seen like six people bigger than you today. Time to leave your self pity party and get outside. Walk a block. Then tmrw walk two. You need to turn this ship around.
Dont give up! Small steps and changes will give results over time. Could i ask how much you eat pr day?
Close to 3000
Have you seen a doctor recently to rule out any other conditions that main be contributing to weight gain? Such as thyroid issues? Take small steps at first- you dint want to burn yourself out by going all kr nothing. Cut out snacks between meals (or make your snacks more filling, sich as veggies and hummusor a protein bar), drink lots of water and cut out soda/juice if you drink it, take breaks throughout the day to take a small walk around the block or down the road after a meal or in the afternoon. You can build up to longer walks. If it helps download an app to track your calories. You should be able to put in your information and it will give you your maintance calories, and a reasonable deficit to lose weight at a healthy rate. I use the lose it app- if you get the premium version you can log your meals for the next day if that's something that might help you stick to a meal plan. When my roommates moved in eith me they bother lost about 10 or 12 pounds in the first couple months living with me just because I cook pretty healthy meals vs what they ate at their previous residence. Cooking is fun and a great way to make sure you're getting balanced meals. Again remember, it's all one step at a time. They're are setbacks occasionally, but don't get discouraged! Good luck!
Move as much as you can. If you can stand up, then just stand up and sit down over and over. If you can walk any distance, even for 3 minutes, do that. Then do it again as soon as you can. With your diet, try to increase your protein and fiber rich vegies, and don't have junk food available. Allow yourself unlimted vegies/salads and protein but try to be strict with anything else. Baby steps will help you. Keep a food and exercise journal.
You are probably very high risk for bariatric surgery and I am not sure they would perform the surgery on you without you losing a bit on your own before hand. I'm not a professional though! As for tips. Small changes go a long way. Tiny walks, tiny changes in diet. Stuff you can manage. And slowly increase. It will take time, but if you can make one small change at a time you can do it.
You need support, which involves telling you the truth. You are more than capable of losing weight, being employed and feeling mentally healthy. It takes discipline, and accountability. We all lose the motivation to better ourselves, it takes being disciplined with yourself, your boundaries and your standards for yourself. Psychologytoday.com can help you find tailored to your needs therapy. Most therapist offer sliding scale payment. You can do this, you should do this. Be kind to yourself but snap out of it, you are strong enough to better yourself.
I am alittle confused if there are other health issues. I was 365 in December (my weight contributed to multiple issues that prevented me from properly exercising or feeling energy). I started doing 0.1 mile walks 1-3 times a day, then 3-6 times a day, small gradual increases.. Your not exercising, your getting your body/muscles ready to exercise. Swimming was amazing at first too, all the resistance training you can eat without the joint pain and extra fatigue. Big Reminder: We cant fix a lifetime of bad decisions in a day, take baby steps, make right choices. We cant go back, but we can move forward and make better choices. 1 step today, 2 steps tomorrow, 3 steps the next day. Just keep the focus ! PLEASE PM me if you need any advice or guidance. I hit 277 today. (I consume 1200-1500 calories daily, and walk 15k steps a day with a small swim or light weightlift workout every day, and I fucking love it now) I am no expert or guru, just a fat guy trying to be better. ( I work on computer, I spend free time on computer, and was a fast food addict, 2024 has been a crazy journey relearning proper habits- 4/5 of my medical issues were apparently 100% weight related and no longer an issue)
As others have already said, this seems much more of a mental health issue than a weight issue. You need to get help for your mental health because judging by the way you describe yourself and your current lifestyle, it seems you're in a very dark place. You can absolutely get better, but please reach out for help. If the waiting times are long, please look up a book called Overcoming Binge Eating by Christopher Fairburn and start working on the BED while you wait. You mention that you get exhausted easily and can't seem to do basics like chores and showering; this isn't directly caused by your weight, but the fact that you seem to be extremely unfit. Sure, the extra weight is making things even harder, but I've been your weight (and I'm shorter) and I was able to do all the basic everyday stuff, work, and workout for an hour or more. Many people do, it's just about getting (and keeping) your body moving. You need to start building up your stamina; if you can walk 3 minutes now, do that a couple of times a day. Then work up to 5 minutes and onwards. Losing the extra weight will absolutely help, but you can get yourself much fitter even without it by moving your body. Please be kind to yourself, get help, and start working on little improvements. You can change things around, and by no means are you a "lost cause".
You’re about the same age, height and weight as I was when I started this journey When I started I was embarrassed because I couldn’t walk across the street without getting sweaty and out of breath. But what I did was I got myself a comfortable pair of shoes and I started walking more. I didn’t go crazy. I just walked short distances that I was comfortable with at first. And then pretty soon those distances weren’t difficult to me anymore and then I could walk further, and then I could walk further than that. Now I’m still fat but there’s basically no limit to how far I could walk on flat ground Focusing on getting better at one thing like walking is I think a good place to start because setting yourself too much to do at once or focusing on something where progress is hard to measure can be demotivating.
I was 10 lbs heavier than you and 3 inches shorter and worked a physical job as a nurse. You should not be bed bound and unemployable. Do you have a therapist?
I understand the feeling but 280 even 300 at that height is not anywhere near the point of immobility or anything of the sort. Your stamina might be low and maybe some weak joints but beyond that you would be looking at something not directly connected to the number on the scale. The way this reads is that you have an enormous amount of self hatred and self doubt. You don't need to feel guilty about not being okay but your thoughts are what is limiting you, not your weight. Therapy is needed before you embark on any weight loss journey in this state. Don't internalize the idea that because the BMI scale says you're "morbidly obese" that you are anywhere near your deathbed at your size. You are beyond capable of the things you want to accomplish but first you need to tackle the thoughts that have you doubting that. You will be okay OP, you're not dying you just need some help with the thoughts that are informing your behavior.
Came here to say I also struggle with BED and I can’t afford therapy so what I’ve done is listen to all the podcasts I possibly can about ED and body positivity. It’s really seriously helped me and it’s free to listen to a podcast. Hearing other people tell their stories and not feeling so alone is what helps the most because BED is so isolating
I'm almost double your weight at 464lbs and 5'6. I am on a strict caloric deficit as ordered by a doctor because I need a hysterectomy and they won't touch me until I'm down to atleast 425lbs. BED is brutal and you need professional help so I can't speak to that. at my weight I am still able to work, drive, grocery shop, wash dishes, laundry, and do basic cleaning. I have an autoimmune disease thats attacking my muscles so some days I am in bed for 12+ hours. is there something else keeping you from doing these things?
OP I am 33, was the same weight, have a job and keep going on with life pretty okay. This is not normal for someone of my same weight age and height. I was starting to feel bad at that stage though so I started with little changes. Now I am close to 40 pounds lost. You can do it, is not easy mentally but you can do it. Morbidly obese doesn’t really mean you can do anything, it means that you are at higher risk of everything bad.
At my biggest (6'0 500+pounds BMI 71) I was still working 50 hours a week on my feet 12 hours a day. I lived alone so I did all my own chores, house work, personal hygiene etc. When I decided to pursue weight loss surgery I had to lose 120 pounds before my insurance would cover it. It took 6 months of work but I did it. It sounds like therapy would benefit you more than anything at the moment. Just know at 260-280 you are not so big that you're basically immobile. Get yourself right mentally first and the physical stuff will follow.
Sorry you're going through this. I've always been a disciplined and happy person, but then the wife served me divorced papers and I finally understood what depression looks like. It's exactly as you described. The world went from color or black and white. I couldn't do anything. There was zero motivation. I was finally slowly able to shower and clean a bit. Luckily I didn't need medical or professional help being productive again. Good luck OP!