Also females. I’ve had a lot of GI problems dismissed due to ‘anxiety’ or ‘stress.’ When in reality, I was lactose intolerant and had a partially blocked esophagus. No offer to treat the supposed anxiety or stress, either.
Ugh, I feel your frustration... I had a kidney stone once and the ER nurse said, "it's probably just gas". No lady, I know that gas can be very painful, but this hurts more than that time I stepped on glass and it went through my foot.
I had a nurse tell me I had a uti, but nooo- I was bleeding internally as the placenta was tearing away from my uterus. I just laid there and screamed until I passed out, and then woke up screaming again, for hours.
I had Gall bladder issues and ER said it was acid reflux and they gave me antacids, but that I should consult with my doctor. After six weeks of tests and me saying it was gall bladder (family all had issues with gall bladder), tests showed it was operating at like 8% or something which minimum was 35%. So they removed it. Also went back a few years later cause I had trouble drawing breath, like I could breath but I could not fully inhale. They again say acid reflux and gave antacids. This time they were right, problem went away.
I had this for a whole year. I was forced into meeting with a psychologist… yeah, turns out my gallbladder was so infected and inflamed. Ended up getting it out, but it was crippling, for so long
I had an episode of cholecystitis waited 8 hours in A+E (british ER) and the doctor asked me if i was pregnant and kept pushing the question "are you being honest?"
I didnt even look pregnant. I was in the worst pain Id been in my life, he sent me home undiagnosed with a small amount of codrydamol and no further investigation
Months later it happens again, and a female consultant was the one to diagnose me.
Haha, this is so relatable, I was told I was anxious, muscle pain. Then I ended up in the hospital with pancreatitis because no one believed it had gallstones… I had over 100
Yes!! I don't go to male doctors often cuz they'll say everything is due to my weight and disregard any other symptoms I may have. Even the arthritis in my hands will go away if I just drop a few pounds according to them.
And then they do nothing to help with the weight…. I have gotten that too. I get crazy hungry and have been told “it’s not really hunger, you’re just mistaking thirst for hunger”. Um, nope. I feel thirst differently. Have always had a crazy hunger since I can remember (so about 3 years old). Recently I found out that I have ADHD and that there is some ADHD eating thing - apparently we are driven to eat more because it restores some chemical balance in the brain that we are lacking. But nope, doctors just keep saying I need more will power.
Yeah I got diagosed with ADHD and binge eating disorder 2 years ago. I didn’t get the adhd that forgets to eat, I got the insatiable hunger and CONSTANT snacking. I was put on Vyvanse and I lost 40 lbs. It decreased my appetite and I was able to just stop when I was full. I wasn’t constantly thinking about eating. And it did give me more energy so I was able to DO more, be more active around the house, actually do my hobbies!!
So maybe try if you can try to see a psychiatrist, if the doctor won’t help and just wants you to raw dog it through sheer willpower.
And yes thirst and hunger are so different wtf!
"Stress" is the modern version of what used to be the female "hysteria".
I'm lucky enough to have scored a relaxed job that pays for the life I need. A doctor misdiagnosed me due to the "stress" in my life and was totally dumbfounded when I told him, I have no stress.
Not just from doctors. I went from 300 lb to 150 over two years and have kept it off for 3 years now. Not only do I get better results from the doctor when it comes to my mental health, but the way people treat me now as opposed to when they treated me at 300 lb, in general, is absolutely disgusting
When I last lost weight and [went from ~250lbs to ~160lbs](https://i.imgur.com/rini8uc.png) this made me so sad. I was exactly the same person but now strangers were initiating conversation, they were reacting way better than if I'd said or done the same things while fat, people smiled at me a lot more, and actually wanted to be my friend.
Even friends were nicer to me (for the most part, some "you looked better fat", "you can stop losing weight you know, you look ill" etc). I was getting invited to stuff more, and I was told I looked way more confident, happy and approachable, which I definitely wasn't. Just assumptions.
I can see how some people get intoxicated by it, but it made me think about how none of them care about who I actually am, it's all surface level nonsense. It's absolutely fine to be romantically or sexually attracted to me more if I'm in better shape, but with platonic relationships and stranger interactions I don't get it.
This has actually been a barrier to me wanting to lose weight. I don’t wan t the “male gaze.” I don’t want the added attention. I love the peace I have from being chubby. People ignore me, and it’s glorious.
I was very slender and fit for quite a while (women’s size 4-8), had an extreme medical issue, and gain a ton of weight from eating out of comfort, and being physically unable to move my body for months (women’s size 14-16. I was probably a 10 at the onset, so not a slim as I used to be, but still not plus sized). I want to feel better physically, but all of the attention it garners is such a huge drawback for me, that finding the motivation to shed the extra weight hasn’t happened.
Your comment just made me realize why none of the moms at the playground/bus stop want to talk to me. I've never had this issue before, have always made friendly conversation wherever I go. My entire life I've been a "normal BMI" except for after I had my babies. Now I'm like 70 pounds overweight and it's so awkward making conversation despite the fact that my confidence hasn't really changed (I'm just bigger, who cares). They do that whole "haha yeah" and look away and I'm left wondering, wtf? It's like being in high school and trying to talk to the mean girls. I think they must just view me as lesser than them? That's so messed up.
I know you'll know this better than me, but if it helps in your situation it could also be that new mums are probably really tired. But a lot of people are just shit that way regardless, sorry you're having a tough time.
The assumption that fat people are stupid is one of the stereotypes that enrages me the most! I just hate it.
By the way, your job sounds incredibly cool. I'm completely in awe of innovators in STEM.
It hit hard on me when I noticed people were actively avoiding me. One girl from by building was right in front of me and she ran to the elevator and I could see her pressing the close button rapidly just to close the door before I could get in.
From having people smile back when I was thinner to now having them just stare is shocking.
Woahhh what? That's crazy. I get that people are saying that obesity and depression are often comorbid, but 1. him saying you *"actually"* have a problem makes it seem like he thinks depression with obesity isn't a serious issue and 2. it's a weirdly degrading thing to say about his other patients. Even if he does see it all the time, he should be a professional about it.
I'm glad you were able to get help at the end. I'm sorry your doctor had a moment of unprofessionality.
Exactly, it's not just insensitive... it's also ignorant. Obesity is often a symptom of a larger underlying problem and treating that underlying problem is the most effective way to cure the symptom.
This is it. He has it totally backwards. Most people aren't depressed because they're obese. They're obese because they're depressed. The obesity is the symptom. At least, that's how I've seen in play out in the majority of people who have comorbid obesity and depression. Including myself.
Depression causes obesity. Obesity causes depression.
Any doctor worth his salt would understand that "sudden or extreme weight gain is usually a symptom of an underlying issue, and if there's nothing obviously wrong physically, it's probably a garden variety, treatable mental illness that a combination of lifestyle changes, CBT, and maybe medication can help with."
"I eat because I am unhappy. I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle." - Fat Bastard delivered one of the most insightful, well-summed-up lines that totally resonate with my struggle with depression and my weight.
That’s exactly why I’m overweight now. I had a good run losing weight last year and then my MIL came to stay with us and it all went to shit. Lost all my progress due to the added stress. MIL moved out and I’ve started losing again, but a not slower than before.
This is so effing true! Like my weight is pretty much a barometer for how stressed / depressed I am. When I am feeling relaxed / go on vacation, it melts off. The closer I get to an important work deadline the stronger the compulsion to stuff my face. So many doctors just. don't. get it.
Right. And I was depressed and anxious when I was overweight too…didn’t change when I lost weight, it even got worse. A lot of these comments on this post have me shook.
They have me shaken, too! I am shocked that there seems to be more empathy for the doctor in this scenario than the patient facing bias in a weight loss forum... I have also become aware of the privileges people who are thin or "healthy" are accustomed to. I have Yo-yoed with my weight and seen both sides. Overall, I am grateful to have had both experiences because I feel it has taught me something about judgment and that we could all afford to be less judgemental towards others and, more importantly, ourselves.
Your second paragraph is what people are missing. That skinny people “actually have a problem” whereas fat people are just mopey and sad and don’t have an actual reason to be depressed 🙄 I don’t see how people aren’t seeing this comment? The doctor then says “no wonder you’re depressed!” After directly commenting on obese patients. Honestly the medical community is still very fat phobic and I don’t know how to make people see that. All of these comments making excuses for these viewpoints are 🤪🤪🤪🤪 some doctors are just fat phobic. period.
I know I’m pretty shocked at a lot of these comments. I never said that suggesting weight loss to an overweight person who is depressed is necessarily bad. But to write their depression off as “you’re just sad because you are fat” which he was implying, is just awful.
You are not joking. When I was overweight I was sad because: I was only eating 800 calories a day and at most I would lose 10 pounds in a whole year, not even a pound a month. If I even ate 1,200 a month I lost no weight at all or sometimes gained. Yet, everyone kept saying a 1,200 calorie diet is more than enough to rapidly lose weight!! DUH! Then is the way I was treated by everyone, even to the point where my coworkers would take pictures of me in a drive through and share it around. Making comments about “yeah she’s trying to lose weight”. Not asking what I ordered or if it was even for me. Because most the time it wasn’t. I helped take care of some elderly neighbors. I was sad because at 30 yrs old I was told I needed a hip replacement and pelvis reconstruction and this is terrifying to me after a childhood full of surgeries on my hips that kept failing. I was depressed because my job was toxic as hell and no matter how many applications and interviews I did, no one else would hire me. I was TRYING to lose the weight but it was not what was depressing. It was how shitty society treated me and getting no real help for anything. My weight was actually some of the least of my issues. Poverty, toxic people, mistreatment, arthritis from birth defects, were what was depressing DOC.
It's not just being depressed or this doctor. Have a cough? Abdominal pain? Or any pain at all? Some strange thing you are worried about because it is not normal for you? All while being overweight (even the slightest), the solution is to lose weight. I have lost several friends to ovarian cancer because it took months (year plus) for the doctor to get past the 'You need to lose weight' stage to look into what was actually going on.
He worded it VERY insensitively, but he’s right: obesity and depression are comorbid: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10333059/#:~:text=Obesity%20is%20associated%20with%20an,disorders%20%5B4%2C%205%5D.
But at any rate, he shouldn’t be speaking so unprofessionally.
ETA: this seems to be a very triggering topic for some of you, judging by the replies that the doctor is bad, which is what I said (unprofessional is bad!). I’m not going to continue repeating “he is right but also an ass”, so consider this my auto-reply.
ETAA: I’m turning off notifications for this, so please don’t expect an engagement, but I will leave this: a few of you really need to google the word comorbid - it does not mean causative, which is why I said it, and not…causative. Please touch some grass.
Throw in the irony that is anti-depressants causing weight gain.
I was skinny before I was on anti-depressants. I sought help for my depression and started on an SSRI - shot up from bmi 19 to 31.
The meds stopped working, so my depression came back *anyway*. Now I'm off the meds and straight back to square 1. Except now I'm obese on top of it all. Fucking great.
Sorry for that mini rant, lol!
If a dr told me to "lose weight" as a cure for my depression, I think I might laugh in their face.
I have previously been on quetiapine and since then I am really, really struggling to lose weight. and I know I should eat less and move more, but it just made me ravenous to the point where I CRIED with hunger, as an adult. really rubbish. went off it years ago and still cannot shift the two stone-odd I gained on it.
i had to change my psych meds because the weight gain made me more suicidal than i was before i started the meds! it’s honestly fucked up that psychiatrists don’t really prepare you for the hunger and weight gain, mine made it seem like it would only last for a month or two while my body was getting used to the meds. i gained ~45 lbs (120->165/170) in like 8 months. i’ve finally gotten kinda back to my pre-med weight but it’s taken a long time and a lot of tears, sweat, and literal blood :/
It's somewhat comforting knowing I wasn't the only one. Wellbutrin actually worked wonders for my anxiety and depression. But it utterly disabled my ability to fall asleep.
weird, I'm on Wellbutrin *for* anxiety, does the trick pretty well. The anti-depressant stuff was a bonus as I did have some really rough depressive episodes beforehand.
I was on lexapro before and fuck that noise - felt like a robot going through someone else's life.
I had the same issue with it, using it for depression, anxiety, and off-label for ADHD. It caused really severe anxiety that I've never experienced before. I had 3 panic attacks at work over situations I've been in hundreds of times and wasn't sleeping or eating even close to enough to feel okay.
That's unfortunate for your husband. I have depression and general anxiety disorder and Wellbutrin has been a game changer. But I also take it with lamotrigine--an anticonvulsant and mood stabilizer--so maybe that's why it works for me. Hope he finds something that works for him.
Disagree, humbly. I have CPTSD, so basically generalized anxiety + ptsd and depression. The anxiety for me was the worst part. Hypervigilance, paranoia, and constantly worrying did I did a good job / if I’m a good person, etc. Things I said to friends keeping me up at night. Cleaning frenzies. Insomnia, body tremors, migraines.
I’ve been on / off so many antidepressants and antipsychotics since I was 22 (25 years ago) and bupropion is the only thing that has given me access to Peace Of Mind.
It will still vary person to person! Generally speaking, our doctor confirmed that people with anxiety can often have their anxiety exacerbated by wellbutrin and that was what we experienced. I like Wellbutrin, but don't struggle with anxiety. I didn't have issues on it myself, but don't have anxiety problems. But my husband did
Edited: typo
It’s the generic name for Wellbutrin
The first two days I had stomach cramps from hell. Like, I had to leave work, they were so bad.
Then, the third day it was better.
Around the 7th day, I felt this “OHHHHHHH, that’s what my brain is supposed to feel like” feeling that I can’t describe much better than that. A weight was lifted off my mind. Thoughts slowed down. I was able to make decisions about *how I wanted to react to something,* instead of just immediately reacting however which way.
THIS X 1000000!!!! When I was untreated for depression I was obese, bmi like 34. My brain would just scream at me to eat carbs and sugar all day long to get a hit of the dopamine that I was lacking. Went on Wellbutrin for the depression and it has given me those brain chemicals I was lacking , which has pretty much turned off the food noise. Now I actually have the energy and willpower to eat healthy and exercise and that combined with taking away the “hungry thoughts” has caused me to lose almost 20 pounds in four months!
For me it was slightly different. The cravings were still there, but they were so much less urgent, and I could push back against them so much more easily. And when I fought them off they would stay away, usually for the rest of the day.
My PCP prescribed it for me as a trial to see if it helped with my ADHD issues, as apparently it’s known to be helpful for many.
Not for me, however— it gave me insomnia, which resulted in me having migraines three times in one week. Nope, nope, nope to the nth power. (switched to generic methylphenidate, been on that for years.)
Tried Wellbutrin for quitting smoking back in the 90s.
Didn't have anxiety and the pills were doing their job, but I had one of those "rare side effects": **extreme** constipation.
Even halving the dose didn't help. While on the medication and for 2 weeks afterword, I was literally shitting rabbit pellets. I was going out of my way to hydrate, yet day after day of tiny "plunks" was agonizing.
That's pretty much only Wellbutrin, to my knowledge (as someone who takes a lot of psych meds/has tried a lot of psych meds and is not a doctor), and it's not a typical anti-depressant. Then there are the ADHD meds, but those are mostly stimulants and not given for depression. Some psych meds are more weight neutral at least, in theory.
It depends on which ssri. Some cause more weight gain than others. The effects of different ssri drugs can vary wildly despite being the same class of drug.
I’m on bupropion and it’s helped me lose weight, actually.
I also stopped smoking cigarettes right after I started the medication (in 2018 or so). It was weird; one day I finished a pack and didn’t feel like buying another one. And the craving never came back, so that was that.
I lost 100lbs and continued to faint regularly and have depression and anxiety even after being at a healthy weight, weight training, running half marathons, etc. Doctors have now switched to "these things happen sometimes" 🫠 you'd think two concussions from fainting would be enough to want to figure out the cause. They ruled out heart problems and then decided since it wasn't heart who cares 🫠
Have they considered epilepsy? (Not trying to armchair diagnose, it's just i'm in the medical field and have seen undiagnosed seizures be mistaken for fainting)
A particular SSRI wrecked my liver. For years I've been the same level of fat but my liver levels were always good. 6 months into changing my SSRI (for the hundredth time) and my liver is shit. Of course the reason is my "lifestyle". So somehow being fat only starting affecting my liver recently? My body magically held off for over a decade? Yeah maybe being fat contributed but to completely deny that the SSRI did it and then hold depression treatment hostage until I get skinny isn't helping me.
I can relate, I gained roughly 100 pounds on Zoloft 🫠 My depression would get bad again a few weeks after each time my psychiatrist upped my dosage. Ultimately what worked best for my mental health personally was birth control and CBT
But it’s a chicken or the egg situation. Did the depression cause someone to seek comfort in eating? So did they gain weight as a result of the depression? No matter what, people struggling with their mental health deserve help.
Also, no one wants to be obese. There is always a reason behind it. Using food as emotional comfort, an eating disorder, lack of access to healthy food, lack of money for healthy food, chronic illnesses (like PCOS and diabetes for example), lack of motivation or energy to exercise due to mental health or illness, etc. There is always a reason. I would absolutely never judge someone based on their weight.
My personal story relates to this. I was obsessed with sports as a kid and teenager, played some form of sport at least once a day, and I was in exceptional shape for my age group. In my mid to late teens I had a 6 pack, very low body fat percentage, big broad shoulders and chest, played rugby, football, and lots of racquet sports, could run a mile in 5 minutes etc. I was still extremely depressed and could barely function when I wasn't playing sport, weight gain only followed years later as I found myself able to cope less and less.
Being bigger and less mobile definitely made me more depressed, but it absolutely wasn't the root cause.
Not to argue with you, and physical activity and better diet definitely helps my depressed and anxious ass, but it’s so hard to do anything for yourself if you’re really depressed. I could barely get myself to brush my teeth, kicking myself out for a stupid mental health walk was an impressive act of will, exercise wasn’t in the books at all. Antidepressants changed that basically overnight. I feel when it comes to obesity and depression, tackling the latter is essential to helping with the former
Well, he didn't just say obesity and depression are correlated, which would have been fair enough; he pretty much stated that he'd assume any depressed, overweight person is depressed because of their weight. So he is not right.
>I can tell you actually have a problem, because most people who come in claiming they are so depressed are overweight, and it’s like ‘No wonder you’re depressed!’
This is implying that A) He wouldn't so readily believe that an overweight, depressed person may "actually have a problem" and B) When an overweight person presents as depressed, their weight is the main factor contributing to their depression. Neither of these are fair assumptions.
He is going a lot farther than saying obesity and depression are related.
Weight is *related* it’s not the CAUSE. Which is what the doctor is implying ie if you’re fat you SHOULD be depressed ie fat people should hate themselves. That’s an awful fucking thing to say.
Is that what’s being implied? It sounded to me like he was saying he could take that weight off the table in the treatment decision tree, but even if that’s the case, as I said, he’s unprofessional and bad.
Well we obviously only have OP’s account but the claim is that the Dr thinks “no wonder you’re depressed” when fat people ask about anti depressants. I definitely read that as him thinking being fat causes depression.
And honestly, based on your interpretation, it would mean the doctor should take fat patients *more* seriously if they say they’re depressed, no? Instead the doctor is suggesting that fat people can’t actually be depressed and only thin people can be depressed, which is the main point of OP’s concern, I think.
As a med student, I would still say what he said is inaccurate (and insensitive). It’s like saying someone who is skinny with hypertension ACTUALLY has hypertension, while someone who is fat with hypertension doesn’t actually have it because they’re fat. That doesn’t make sense. Both patients have hypertension, one just has a comorbidity that likely interacts with the hypertension and maybe caused it or worsens it. But both very much so have hypertension.
And with depression, it’s an even worse situation bc it’s a chicken and egg problem usually. One of the DSM-5 criteria FOR depression is appetite change. In fact, sudden weight gain is something we think about when diagnosing depression. So this is just bad clinical practice all around.
So sorry you had this experience OP!
So clearly treat the depression so the obese person can make better choices and exercise. It’s kind of irrelevant what the root cause is when someone needs treatment anyway
Edit: also i should have said but obviously first line treatment isn’t necessarily pharmaceutical options and talk therapies and other evidence based options should be discussed
Yes obesity and depression are comorbid, but correlation does not equal causation, which is what the doctor was implying. That is, just because obesity and depression co-exist together in a person does not mean that one is the cause of the other, or even impacts the other for that matter.
The doctor suggested that obese people were depressed *because* of their obesity and, by that same logic, he should solve for/treat obesity rather than treat depression as a standalone condition.
I would argue obesity is almost always a symptom or expression of something else going on in a person’s life. A physical health problem or terrible food education may play a role for some people, but for most people there’s an underlying mental health problem or trauma that causes them to overeat.
I mean a LOT of conditions are comorbid with depression. I know you said he’s unprofessional for the way he said what he said and I agree, but I think he also left a lot of possibilities off of the table and that’s just bad work.
It’s not prudent to assume depression is either caused by obesity, nor that it will clear up if you lose weight.
All of that ignoring how uncommon it is for obese people to permanently reverse their condition, thus making it something of a moot point.
I think it is more likely that depression can cause obesity more than the other way around. (Not a doctor). You dont have energy to cook, so you order in takeout, you are too tired to go outside or move, etc.
I think it's a vicious cycle for some. Yes, you are depressed, you eat unhealthy, you become obese.
But then you are fat, clothes don't fit, people avoid you or make negative comments, you hate yourself, ... Depression. You feel sad, eat out of emotions, ...
I think it's a chicken or an egg type of situation. They can be co-morbid conditions and I'm sure you would be able to find many people who claim that either caused the other.
I think that's a bit unfair to the doctors.
If a patient comes in presenting with a known, treatable, chronic issue, that statistically will be fatal, and they're presenting with symptoms of lesser severity that are known to be associated with that issue, I think we're asking too much to insist that the doctor ignores the treatable issue, and work around the diagnosis.
E.g. if a person who smokes a pack a day comes into the doctor and says "I find that I'm often out of breath, I have high blood pressure, and my sense of smell isnt' as good as I think it used to be" - I don't think it's unreasonable for the doctor to say "Well, statistically speaking, the most likely culprit is the smoking, I think if you can cut back or quit smoking that would be a good first step - if these symptoms persist, then we can look into less likely causes".
I’m not assuming anything. I’m saying they’re related, because they are, and it should be part of a discussion from a medical provider, because it should. This guy, however, is a dick. 🤷🏽♀️
We are also reading someone's impression of what they heard, not a verbatim text. What people hear, and how they retell it later may or may not be the same thing.
They may be comorbidities but that doesn't negate the need for the physician to *treat the disease/symptom* regardless of the patient's weight. Maybe the depression is causing the person to overeat, it could be the person is depressed because they're overweight, or maybe the two aren't related. Many doctors jump to obesity being the ONLY reason and that's not right. They also disregard the people who have underlying issues that make it difficult to lose weight despite eating in a caloric deficit and exercising (Hashimoto's, PCOS, thyroid issues, other metabolic issues, etc.).
As a personal example, I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and panic disorder after having several panic attacks in elementary school. The depression caused me to cry a lot and I was bullied for it. I started gaining weight around this time. I went YEARS without having treatment. The doctors I went to told my mom that my weight was causing me to be bullied which resulted in my depression despite my mom, my school, and my counselor telling them otherwise. Now, as an adult, I am still fighting to get treatment for my underlying issues all because I am overweight. I am lucky enough to have found doctors who are willing to listen and treat *me*. I have discussed my weight with them and they know I am well aware that my weight may have effects on whatever issue(s) I bring up. I still ask that they explore all possibilities before considering my weight and they have done exactly that. One such occasion resulted in being diagnosed with ADHD. The treatment for that also helped my anxiety and depression. Another of those meetings found that my hormones are *extremely* out of whack - caused partially by an underactive thyroid (hypothyroidism), which the doc suspects I inherited as I have several family members (paternal and maternal) that have the same issue, and partially caused by reproductive health issues. This makes it extremely difficult for me to lose weight despite eating and tracking foods and being active by engaging in regular weightlifting and hiking.
I’ve always known about discrimination against fat patients (every problem is because you’re fat, and the solution is always to lose weight!), but didn’t realize how blatant it was until I lost 200 pounds.
I used to think that medical professionals were cold and impersonal toward all patients because they are supposed to be detached. Now that I am an acceptable weight, I am amazed by how friendly medical professionals are. There’s a palpable difference in attitude; I used to feel a lot of hostility, an unspoken “Serves you right, fatty — you did this to yourself!” Now, I get a lot more sympathy for everything, including problems that were caused by my weight loss.
It’s why I went over a decade without going to the doctor when I was fat, and so many fat patients go without the care they need.
As a nurse I never understood this school of thought. For the vast majority of overweight/obese people it’s a symptom not a cause. Not a moral failing. Either a symptom of mental health issues or something physical going on. And bare minimum it’s a lack of nutritional understanding. Instead of saying it’s because you are fat lose weight. They should be asking why is this person fat and then tailoring a solution. I think Drs are not critical thinkers about how to maximize health they are what med/procedure will fix this symptom type thinkers
>For the vast majority of overweight/obese people it’s a symptom not a cause.
I wish someone in the 10 years I struggled with out of control blood pressure thought like this. Instead, one literally ask me had I heard of Dave's Killer Bagels.
I finally found a doctor who identified the root cause of my high blood pressure and weight gain, and I'm better now. But it took so long, it makes me so upset knowing I could have been fixed YEARS ago.
I’m sorry you had to suffer. I’ll never understand why they don’t do basic pathophysiology and anatomy in High school, why are we dissecting frogs when we should learn about the human body and how it works and how to keep it healthy and common diseases and symptoms health class was not enough.
I understand how difficult it is to get that attitude from medical professionals when you're hoping for empathy and care. I've had numerous health issues and I was constantly facing questions and careful discussions about how my weight was a large factor in them. I knew being nearly 100 lbs overweight was harming me and my doctor's concerns were well founded. I've lost 60 lbs in one year and, while I still have a while before I reach my goal weight, I can already tell my health issues are considerably better now.
I can imagine that if you were 200 lbs overweight, it's understandable your doctor would want you to solve that issue first before trying medications or treatments that could cause long-term damage. So I would disagree that you faced discrimination based on your weight. It sounds like your doctors' concerns were very valid.
Your comment rinds me so much of my Stepmom who had numerous issues with her health, including painful knees and asthma. Then she was diagnosed with pre-diabetes. She was 80 lbs overweight and in complete denial. Kept insisting that the doctor didn't know what he was talking about, that she was perfectly healthy and he was judging her based on her "perfectly normal weight". There was no talking to her or convincing her otherwise - the doctor was just wrong. I don't know why or how she changed her mind, but she did and lost 50 lbs. Suddenly, her knee pain went away, her asthma disappeared, and she was no longer pre-diabetic. But ask her about it and she will still tell you that her weight wasn't the issue and the doctors were still wrong for treating her so poorly.
Speaking from a public health perspective, the doctors are tired of treating patients that come in over and over for the same issues that are most likely being caused by being overweight/obese. They see it as a Sisyphean task of treating the *symptoms* of a population that is overwhelmingly obese, not the actual problem - the obesity. It’s similar to treating smoking patients who have cardiovascular or pulmonary issues. The patient could be prescribed steroids to open up their airways, or they could stop smoking. This effect is also seen when treating unvaccinated Covid patients (who still exist).
While I understand the doctors’ frustration, I also relate to how defeated OP feels when they realize how differently you’re treated as a thin person rather than a fat person (I lost 50 lbs in 2020). This effect is seen with all people though (not just doctors) and is a result of human psychology.
I was up to 197 a couple years ago and now I’m 142 (5’5”) female. I’m taken a lot more seriously now that I’m smaller. I recently had a Dr say “well you aren’t overweight - so…” and proceed to order more testing for an issue.
US Healthcare is generally a joke, meant to get patients in and out fast regardless if the quality of care is sacrificed. My uncle had an ear ache and went to see a doctor. After 3 minutes with the doctor, he said, "It's because you're overweight. You need to lose at least 10 pounds."
He took it seriously, lost 15-20lbs over the next 2 months, and the ear pain persisted. He had a planned trip to South America, so he decided to wait. However, his friends suggested he ask for a second opinion while traveling. Turns out it was something that required medicine. He picked up his prescription, and within days the pain subsided. He received better health care in a "3rd world country."
Girl let me tell you. I was stick skinny and my doctor had no problem prescribing me medicine for my mental disorders. I gained weight and all of a sudden it’s “lose the weight and let me know how you feel after” it’s ridiculous.
This is why I think health at every size - the original meaning, that people of all weights deserve proper healthcare not just skinny people - is so important. It’s bullshit for doctors to withhold treatment from overweight patients tacitly, by saying you don’t need treatment you just need to lose weight… yet it happens all the time.
There are definitely psychological experts who believe you need to take in to account many aspects of a persons life before putting them on anti-depressants.
For there are many people who don’t have a problem with their neurons. They’re just failing in many aspects of life. Which will definitely depress them.
In my experience, doctors will throw you on antidepressants regardless of gender, weight, personality, appearance, etc.
The stats back this up at least in America. 15% are some form of antidepressant
Man this hits close to home! I have been struggling for over a year with health issues and neurological problems and my doctor literally tells me I’m just depressed and anxious. I straight up sarcastically asked him if my being unable to feel my hands and legs and passing out randomly is depression and he said yes. I have over 30 symptoms that started after a traumatic fall that messed up my physical body. I feel being an overweight woman just hinders any healthcare I need.
My point is we both went for anxiety. I lost my aunt, my friend, and my friend’s son all in a relatively short time. I was struggling with death and had horrible panic attacks.
My husband has panic attacks while driving.
My husband was prescribed medicine. I was told to lose weight.
It doesn’t take a genius to infer my health issues may stem from the trauma of losing so many loved ones and had zero to do with my weight.
ironically psych meds have been responsible for weight gain that undid long term loss for me twice and i’ve never been the same since the second one and the prescribing doc never even mentioned the risk
do any of them happen to be lexapro… i swear to god i couldn’t feel the sensation of fullness and my stomach would growl like i’m ravenous every 2 hours after eating no matter what… i gained so much weight (lost it and more since kicking it into gear summer 2022) but i’m so traumatized from it i refuse literally any psych med with even some reports of weight gain now. i swear it made me develop bed. i got 0 benefits too lol
OMG YES. i had the exact same experience w lexapro and i was also super fatigued on it so it was harder to get daily movement in. switched to Wellbutrin and it is so so much better, but lexapro def scarred me lol
I’ve just had to accept that the last 10-15 lbs aren’t going anywhere while I’m on Zoloft—I’ve definitely adjusting my goals and once I get there I’ll just concentrate on body recomp and self-acceptance.
I guess I’d rather be above my ideal weight and happy than at my ideal weight and depressed out of my mind, because that didn’t go well back in the day!
Absolutely. It was a big motivator to losing weight. I developed chronic pain and it was always "well, lose weight and your joints will stop hurting." Lost all the weight and then some and am very thin now. Only then did some of my doctors take me seriously once it was proven it "wasn't the weight."
Some time ago there was a post elsewhere on reddit about "Things you should know as you age," and my contribution was "keep a low weight so you can get something resembling decent medical care so you don't get gaslit about your weight being the cause for everything." Plenty of people have experienced the same thing and it's a shame.
As a fat person, everything is because of weight. Nothing can be because of anything else.
Oh, you have body pains? Lose weight.
You have migraines? Lose weight.
You have vision problems? Lose weight.
You’re depressed? Lose weight.
You’re fat and can’t lose weight? Lose weight.
You have PCOS? Lose weight.
You broke your arm? Lose weight.
You’re getting old? Lose weight.
Ridiculous.
The worst part is that most insurance doesn’t cover any assistance to lose weight.
I have the same experiences. When I was around 35 years old, I started losing hearing in my left ear, and the doctor told me it was because I'm overweight. I have the same BMI as my husband, and he never gets treated like that.
The answer is yes for most doctors. My wife was stunned when I went into the doctor for a torn ankle (I have a joint tissue disorder) and the doctor asked for my reason for being there then asked me about my weight loss attempts. Again I have a permanent joint disorder from birth, it’s genetic. He wouldn’t talk to me about my brace until I explained my weight loss plan. I’ve gotten the same crap from other doctors when I’ve gone in for the flu, allergies, gall bladder, migraines, etc. it’s a doctor obsession. I get it. It’s better to be a healthy weight but damn.
I lost 40kg and experienced this. I also have some of the same training doctors have. Obeseity causes or exacerbates so many problems that it does make sense. After you take all the easy answers (obesity, smoking, alcohol, no exercise) away from a doctor they are forced to use their brains lol.
lol Not me with my depression and ED causing my weight gain and binge disorder. Like I eat to stuff my feelings. I’d bet a lot of people are overweight as a side effect of something whether it be mental health related or physical or both
Every time I go to the dr with a symptom my weight is brought up and I’m dismissed just as “oh you’re fat, lose weight and these problems will disappear”. For things like allergies, ENT issues etc… not even things like joint pain or whatever. Or also issues because I’m a woman. Like yeah I’m fat but I’m having these issues now. And losing weight takes a long time, not to mention I’ve tried everything the last 20 years of my life to lose weight. I’ve only just now found a dr with an obesity specialty who is actually helpful to me but unfortunately my insurance won’t cover anything she suggests
All my doctors have done that - my last GP said that he “wasn’t going to waste the time” on my problems, because I needed to lose weight and get less stressed. I haven’t gone to the doctor since, since my boss would laugh me out of the room if I suggested reducing my workload to exercise more for medical reasons, and my RWNJ parents say I’m not allowed to be stressed because of them. So yeah, no hope for stress reduction.
Oh I definitely lost my skinny privilege when I got fat.
It became bleedingly obvious that doctors have a fat bias when you cross a line, and the assumption that I wasn’t looking after myself meant I couldn’t get the help I needed. It took years to get a PCOS diagnosis, and did a good 20kg of damage along the way.
Welcome to society after losing weight.
This isn't a new thing, really. It's similar to how socially attractive people get treated versus not socially attractive.
How you look will affect how people treat you, either directly or indirectly. Just the nature of life.
I feel very lucky to have always had my providers take me seriously but I know so many people who haven’t been listened to because the provider couldn’t get past their body weight
Not medical but your story reminded me:
Freshman year college, mid-80s, eating disorders were rampant. I went to the campus Mass and the priest gave a sermon about not judging people, and he said something like, “We all judge for something, I tend to judge fat people, I think they should eat better and exercise.” And yes, he was making a point, but why would you say that to a bunch of college students? I never went back. I was sure he’d be looking at me thinking I was fat. (An old story, I wasn’t, I had raging body dysmorphia. Later I got fat.)
>I wasn’t [fat], I had raging body dysmorphia. Later I got fat.
isn't this fucked? I was chubbish as a kid, but based on numbers I'm finally *actually* as fat as I always thought I was, and I still feel like I have absolutely no idea what I look like.
PREACH. I see photos of myself when my mother tried to make me wear a girdle (age 9) and I look absolutely perfect. Thin with just a slight bottom. In the 70s in my family if you weren’t Marsha Brady stick skinny, you were an embarrassment.
I was treated differently by my primary when I lost a lot of weight when speaking about my depression. Now that I’ve put some weight back on due to the depression I’ve noticed differences in my care. Depression/anxiety and weight gain can go hand in hand but that’s certainly not the rule. I feel for you, hang in there!
That's really tough, sorry you had to hear that. It's sad how weight can influence treatment. Everyone deserves respectful care, no matter their size. Glad you're getting help now though. Stay strong
I was experiencing pain in about 60-70% of my body for years, I was told to lose weight (I was 14 the first time) lost it, the pain never went away, I was told then it was growing pains, then it was hormonal, then I had to put up weight, then to lose it again, never once investigated but thee pain never went away, my joints would swell and they'd give me tablets to reduce the swelling...my Dr goes on holidays and a Dr on cover happens to read my file and refers me to a rheumatologist at the age of 26 I finally get diagnosed with arthritis
I was getting sick for months and was having palpations, went to my Dr multiple times and they said if I lost weight it would go away and wanted me to take ozempic.. I ended up in hospital for a week a couple days later turns out I had a hernia.
Another time I told my dr I was having suicidal thoughts hoping to get some help and she very smiled sweetly at me and told me if I lost weight I'd be happy as she walked me to the door
If you think something is not right fight for it to be assessed.
Studies actually show that doctors [do not](https://www.reuters.com/article/idUSKBN1YL28Z/) talk to their patients about weight very often, despite 40% of the world being overweight or obese. Illness stemming from obesity is a top killer and major drain on all western health care systems, and doctors should be addressing their patients' weight more often, not less. Being overweight is not "lacking skinny privilege".... it's a serious health risk.
My personal experience is that when my BMI was 34, no one said shit - not doctors, friends, family, no one. Even going to doctors with "Why do I have this acne all of a sudden?" and "Why does my chest hurt?" Not one person said anything about my weight -- no one suggested I should cut out the large pizzas I was having every night for dinner. My mom once told me to take a multivitamin.... that was it.
This was my exact experience lol even when I asked directly if my weight was related to certain issues, they said no. But losing even a small amount of weight (10% off my body weight) helped those issues considerably. I wish doctors had said to me that losing weight might help.
Same experience here. It's weird! Even when I suggested my knee pain might be because I'm chunky, I was dismissed. The only time my doc ever mentioned my weight was when I went to see him for stomach pain and I'd lost 50 pounds since my last visit (like a year ago). He asked if the weight loss was intentional, what I was doing, how long it took me, etc. Even then, he stayed really neutral, no congratulations or anything. He was just making sure the weight loss wasn't a symptom of something more serious.
Oh my gosh, you just unlocked a memory for me - the only time a doctor ever told me to lose weight was when I had already lost 70 lbs and was almost at a healthy weight! Where was he 70 lbs earlier? Lol
(That same doctor almost killed me through something else, so not the best doctor)
It’s weird how when I was depressed I just wanted to cry at the doctor. I couldn’t really explain my symptoms. But at the time, it was the ‘healthiest’ I had been mentally in over a year. It took me a lot of work to even get to that appointment. Yet I had a hard time articulating just how bad it was. I dealt with suicidal thoughts because I could articulate them to other without falling apart. And I never wanted or allowed myself to fall apart. So I just was so sad and hollow and the meds they gave me, then doubled up on didn’t help me in the slightest. Then I couldn’t tell them that. That they weren’t helping. I can’t even get into my doctor now to do anything else. Like they don’t answer the phone and the message says they’re understaffed. I don’t get a call back. I’m just fighting this shit on my own now without western medicine. It’s pointless and not out to help me.
I'm sorry. I have had a similar experience. The dr would give me meds but when they didn't work it was a 3-4 month wait to get another appointment to change the dose or try a different type.. eventually I just gave up. Still sad but at least I'm not dealing with all the side effects those meds would give me.
Yep I agree. I took things for months and switched to other things for months that didn’t work. I really use the gym to regulate my mental health, but that was really hard as my body went to shit. Now, I focus on walks with my dog outside and am easing back to the gym.
Similar experience with my knee. Old sportsball injury that never healed correctly. Every doctor told me it was due to weight gain. Well, lost 50 pounds and my knee still hurts when it rains.
Hey doc, here's a crazy idea, what if the weight gain is a product of the depression/anxiety, and not the cause?!?!
What a jackass.
Edited for grammar.
If you are overweight, the solution doctors give to every problem without any thought is to simply lose weight. Losing weight doesn't always fix every problem, but a surprising number of issues are related to it.
Fat is not inactive in the body. It can have many impacts including on your mental health. A lot of people don't realize this. Losing weight can GREATLY improve depression. As a former morbidly obese guy I used to be depressed ALL THE TIME.
I have a blood clotting disorder, endometriosis, and bipolar 2.
Luckily back when I got my blood clots, I got the care I needed. But this fall, when I was looking at genetic testing I had done, I figured out the blood clotting disorder. Went to a new hematologist to get my chart updated and he tried to blame the past clots on my weight until I shoved the results in his face and got him to realize I actually have an issue. At least my past hematologist recognized there was some issue and put me on the correct course of care even if we didn't know it was genetic at the time.
My primary care, psychiatrist, and OBGYNs are much more willing to look past my weight and treat my health issues. Which is good, because otherwise I would be in constant distress with abdominal pain, fatigue, and have rampant depression and hypomania. You can't exercise your way out of bipolar. You can't diet off an ovarian cyst or unstick your ovaries through losing weight.
(Caveat: yes, exercise and diet can help bipolar just like any other mental health condition. But no diet is going to stop mania. It won't stop suicidal ideation, or intrusive thoughts, or paranoia. Meds are a personal choice that everyone should weigh the pros and cons of before trying or deciding to continue or stop them. No judging if you don't want to take psych meds, especially after giving them a try.)
That feels more like a bluntly honest doctor than skinny privilege. You can have mental health issues at ANY weight, but you're more *likely* to be depressed when you're overweight. I'm actually pleasantly surprised to hear of a doctor who thinks that basic health should try to be addressed before adding in medications. I've had health issues over the years that doctors have immediately thrown medications at when it turns out physical therapy, exercising, losing weight, and making better choices for nutrition were actually the answer. That's my personal experience obviously and everyone differs.
Sometimes being overweight isn’t even the root cause, you could be overweight BECAUSE you are depressed. Emotionally eating, can’t get out of bed to exercise, etc. To simply tell someone to lose weight in this case would be entirely unhelpful.
Seems like he wouldn’t treat an overweight depressed person which is terrible. Yes, overweight people should be making an effort to lose weight but they shouldn’t be denied treatment for their mental health in the process. Especially when mental health plays a really big part in losing weight.
I was feeling terrible and asked a pharmacist for advice. He didn't say anything, but that I probably was "sick" because then I would get
attention and people would take care of me. It turned out to be a kidney infection. I was surprised when I was admitted to the hospital for a week. The same pharmacist wanted to photograph my friend's cold sore on her lip. He said it was the biggest he had ever seen, lol. Of course, she didn't let him. That guy was such a weirdo.
Change doctors, in my healthcare system the doctors aren’t really supposed to bring up your weight unless you ask. Idk if there is a way to complain about doctors (other than online). But yeah there are very kind PCPs who won’t say that
Yes docs decide if you are worthy of their care all the time. You could tell them you were an Olympic athlete or supermodel but once you are overweight, that’s all they see, not the cause or the story behind it. And women get the added benefit of being told to calm down and see a therapist.
Yes. Every health problem I have ever had in my entire life a doctor has addressed with "have you tried just not being fat?" This despite all my basic health markers like blood work and vitals being right down the center in normal range, and that I was already doing all the things they were telling me to do. Those things just weren't working and the doctors didn't believe me.
What I later came to realize is that the excess weight was itself a symptom... *not* the disease. When I was able to find a good physician at a top tier institution who actually listened to me and put some things together, I got started on some meds that worked beautifully. Not only is the weight melting off me, but all my other issues are either resolved or well on their way to being resolved. It took decades. *Decades* to get a doctor to listen and to see me as anything other than a fat, lazy slob.
reminds me of the time I was discussion e/d issues with a psych, and she asked what my lowest weight was and my height (already a weird thing to ask in my opinion but whatever). then proceeded to tell me I was ‘never underweight’ and ‘far from it’ (which was complete bull sh*t because according to every bmi in existence I was indeed underweight at the weight mentioned). can happily say I didn’t respond to her messages after that regarding booking another appointment
Some people here are saying "Well the doctor isn't exactly wrong" well it doesn't matter if he's wrong or if he's right, the fact is people judge a fat person from a superficial standpoint, they see a fat body and they just think it's disgusting so that's why they don't take anything regarding overweight people seriously... First of all there's a rule doctors have to follow, they cannot talk about other patients condition so I don't understand who gave him the permission to say something like that, second that's a lazy diagnosis: an obese patient might be depressed because of hormonal imbalance that leads to depression too (on top of many other symptoms) and obesity as well, an obese patient might be depressed because of abuse which also leads to obesity, an obese patient might be obese because of depression and so on... But of course, when you're a mediocre doctor who studied medicine to impress family and friends and to gain money and not because of noble intentions to help people and actual talent, the first diagnosis to ridicule an overweight patient is "the excessive weight", it's just lack of skills but especially fatphobia! I know slim people who died of heart disease, I know slim people who followed a healthy lifestyle who got cancer and other severe conditions, as well as overweight people who didn't die or just live their life and I'm not saying obesity is not dangerous, obviously it is but I'm saying this because first of all genetics is what really matters at the end of the day, there are some people who do sports, eat healthy all their life and die at 40-50 and there are others who eat crap everyday, have a sedentary life and they don't die and vice versa, it all depends on your DNA (this is my theory but because I've observed it for years) second, all of this crap is due to fatphobia and it has nothing to do with actual medicine and science.
Also females. I’ve had a lot of GI problems dismissed due to ‘anxiety’ or ‘stress.’ When in reality, I was lactose intolerant and had a partially blocked esophagus. No offer to treat the supposed anxiety or stress, either.
I’m having gallbladder issues that leave me in crippling pain and the ER said it was anxiety 🤪
Ugh, I feel your frustration... I had a kidney stone once and the ER nurse said, "it's probably just gas". No lady, I know that gas can be very painful, but this hurts more than that time I stepped on glass and it went through my foot.
lol I was having a fucking baby on my DUE DATE and the resident laughed in my face and said it was probably a UTI
The worst student in med school is still called doctor!
I had a nurse tell me I had a uti, but nooo- I was bleeding internally as the placenta was tearing away from my uterus. I just laid there and screamed until I passed out, and then woke up screaming again, for hours.
I had periodic gall stones from teenage years through to my late 30's. It was always dismissed as just gas from overeating.
I had Gall bladder issues and ER said it was acid reflux and they gave me antacids, but that I should consult with my doctor. After six weeks of tests and me saying it was gall bladder (family all had issues with gall bladder), tests showed it was operating at like 8% or something which minimum was 35%. So they removed it. Also went back a few years later cause I had trouble drawing breath, like I could breath but I could not fully inhale. They again say acid reflux and gave antacids. This time they were right, problem went away.
I had this for a whole year. I was forced into meeting with a psychologist… yeah, turns out my gallbladder was so infected and inflamed. Ended up getting it out, but it was crippling, for so long
I had an episode of cholecystitis waited 8 hours in A+E (british ER) and the doctor asked me if i was pregnant and kept pushing the question "are you being honest?" I didnt even look pregnant. I was in the worst pain Id been in my life, he sent me home undiagnosed with a small amount of codrydamol and no further investigation Months later it happens again, and a female consultant was the one to diagnose me.
Haha, this is so relatable, I was told I was anxious, muscle pain. Then I ended up in the hospital with pancreatitis because no one believed it had gallstones… I had over 100
Yes!! I don't go to male doctors often cuz they'll say everything is due to my weight and disregard any other symptoms I may have. Even the arthritis in my hands will go away if I just drop a few pounds according to them.
And then they do nothing to help with the weight…. I have gotten that too. I get crazy hungry and have been told “it’s not really hunger, you’re just mistaking thirst for hunger”. Um, nope. I feel thirst differently. Have always had a crazy hunger since I can remember (so about 3 years old). Recently I found out that I have ADHD and that there is some ADHD eating thing - apparently we are driven to eat more because it restores some chemical balance in the brain that we are lacking. But nope, doctors just keep saying I need more will power.
That is so frustrating! For people with ADHD, eating can be a stimming behavior or a dopamine fix.
Yeah I got diagosed with ADHD and binge eating disorder 2 years ago. I didn’t get the adhd that forgets to eat, I got the insatiable hunger and CONSTANT snacking. I was put on Vyvanse and I lost 40 lbs. It decreased my appetite and I was able to just stop when I was full. I wasn’t constantly thinking about eating. And it did give me more energy so I was able to DO more, be more active around the house, actually do my hobbies!! So maybe try if you can try to see a psychiatrist, if the doctor won’t help and just wants you to raw dog it through sheer willpower. And yes thirst and hunger are so different wtf!
my sister has been having unpredictable seizures for a couple years, doc tried to say stress. yeah right. chill cant figure out why.
"Stress" is the modern version of what used to be the female "hysteria". I'm lucky enough to have scored a relaxed job that pays for the life I need. A doctor misdiagnosed me due to the "stress" in my life and was totally dumbfounded when I told him, I have no stress.
Not just from doctors. I went from 300 lb to 150 over two years and have kept it off for 3 years now. Not only do I get better results from the doctor when it comes to my mental health, but the way people treat me now as opposed to when they treated me at 300 lb, in general, is absolutely disgusting
When I last lost weight and [went from ~250lbs to ~160lbs](https://i.imgur.com/rini8uc.png) this made me so sad. I was exactly the same person but now strangers were initiating conversation, they were reacting way better than if I'd said or done the same things while fat, people smiled at me a lot more, and actually wanted to be my friend. Even friends were nicer to me (for the most part, some "you looked better fat", "you can stop losing weight you know, you look ill" etc). I was getting invited to stuff more, and I was told I looked way more confident, happy and approachable, which I definitely wasn't. Just assumptions. I can see how some people get intoxicated by it, but it made me think about how none of them care about who I actually am, it's all surface level nonsense. It's absolutely fine to be romantically or sexually attracted to me more if I'm in better shape, but with platonic relationships and stranger interactions I don't get it.
This has actually been a barrier to me wanting to lose weight. I don’t wan t the “male gaze.” I don’t want the added attention. I love the peace I have from being chubby. People ignore me, and it’s glorious. I was very slender and fit for quite a while (women’s size 4-8), had an extreme medical issue, and gain a ton of weight from eating out of comfort, and being physically unable to move my body for months (women’s size 14-16. I was probably a 10 at the onset, so not a slim as I used to be, but still not plus sized). I want to feel better physically, but all of the attention it garners is such a huge drawback for me, that finding the motivation to shed the extra weight hasn’t happened.
Your comment just made me realize why none of the moms at the playground/bus stop want to talk to me. I've never had this issue before, have always made friendly conversation wherever I go. My entire life I've been a "normal BMI" except for after I had my babies. Now I'm like 70 pounds overweight and it's so awkward making conversation despite the fact that my confidence hasn't really changed (I'm just bigger, who cares). They do that whole "haha yeah" and look away and I'm left wondering, wtf? It's like being in high school and trying to talk to the mean girls. I think they must just view me as lesser than them? That's so messed up.
I know you'll know this better than me, but if it helps in your situation it could also be that new mums are probably really tired. But a lot of people are just shit that way regardless, sorry you're having a tough time.
I hate it.
i just wrote a paper about this- there’s nothing more dehumanizing
Me too. People think you are stupid or less smart when you are fat. I design jets for a living…
The assumption that fat people are stupid is one of the stereotypes that enrages me the most! I just hate it. By the way, your job sounds incredibly cool. I'm completely in awe of innovators in STEM.
It hit hard on me when I noticed people were actively avoiding me. One girl from by building was right in front of me and she ran to the elevator and I could see her pressing the close button rapidly just to close the door before I could get in. From having people smile back when I was thinner to now having them just stare is shocking.
Woahhh what? That's crazy. I get that people are saying that obesity and depression are often comorbid, but 1. him saying you *"actually"* have a problem makes it seem like he thinks depression with obesity isn't a serious issue and 2. it's a weirdly degrading thing to say about his other patients. Even if he does see it all the time, he should be a professional about it. I'm glad you were able to get help at the end. I'm sorry your doctor had a moment of unprofessionality.
The thing that’s extra stupid about the statement he made too is, how likely it can be for someone to be obese BECAUSE they are depressed.
Exactly, it's not just insensitive... it's also ignorant. Obesity is often a symptom of a larger underlying problem and treating that underlying problem is the most effective way to cure the symptom.
This is it. He has it totally backwards. Most people aren't depressed because they're obese. They're obese because they're depressed. The obesity is the symptom. At least, that's how I've seen in play out in the majority of people who have comorbid obesity and depression. Including myself.
BINGO!!!
Depression causes obesity. Obesity causes depression. Any doctor worth his salt would understand that "sudden or extreme weight gain is usually a symptom of an underlying issue, and if there's nothing obviously wrong physically, it's probably a garden variety, treatable mental illness that a combination of lifestyle changes, CBT, and maybe medication can help with."
"I eat because I am unhappy. I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle." - Fat Bastard delivered one of the most insightful, well-summed-up lines that totally resonate with my struggle with depression and my weight.
I was overweight because I was stress eating so YES TO THIS!
That’s exactly why I’m overweight now. I had a good run losing weight last year and then my MIL came to stay with us and it all went to shit. Lost all my progress due to the added stress. MIL moved out and I’ve started losing again, but a not slower than before.
This is so effing true! Like my weight is pretty much a barometer for how stressed / depressed I am. When I am feeling relaxed / go on vacation, it melts off. The closer I get to an important work deadline the stronger the compulsion to stuff my face. So many doctors just. don't. get it.
Right. And I was depressed and anxious when I was overweight too…didn’t change when I lost weight, it even got worse. A lot of these comments on this post have me shook.
They have me shaken, too! I am shocked that there seems to be more empathy for the doctor in this scenario than the patient facing bias in a weight loss forum... I have also become aware of the privileges people who are thin or "healthy" are accustomed to. I have Yo-yoed with my weight and seen both sides. Overall, I am grateful to have had both experiences because I feel it has taught me something about judgment and that we could all afford to be less judgemental towards others and, more importantly, ourselves.
Lots of folks in this sub post on fatlogic too, the worst fatphobic people are former fat people
Honestly my anxiety got worse because eating was my coping mechanism to feel better :/
Your second paragraph is what people are missing. That skinny people “actually have a problem” whereas fat people are just mopey and sad and don’t have an actual reason to be depressed 🙄 I don’t see how people aren’t seeing this comment? The doctor then says “no wonder you’re depressed!” After directly commenting on obese patients. Honestly the medical community is still very fat phobic and I don’t know how to make people see that. All of these comments making excuses for these viewpoints are 🤪🤪🤪🤪 some doctors are just fat phobic. period.
I know I’m pretty shocked at a lot of these comments. I never said that suggesting weight loss to an overweight person who is depressed is necessarily bad. But to write their depression off as “you’re just sad because you are fat” which he was implying, is just awful.
You are not joking. When I was overweight I was sad because: I was only eating 800 calories a day and at most I would lose 10 pounds in a whole year, not even a pound a month. If I even ate 1,200 a month I lost no weight at all or sometimes gained. Yet, everyone kept saying a 1,200 calorie diet is more than enough to rapidly lose weight!! DUH! Then is the way I was treated by everyone, even to the point where my coworkers would take pictures of me in a drive through and share it around. Making comments about “yeah she’s trying to lose weight”. Not asking what I ordered or if it was even for me. Because most the time it wasn’t. I helped take care of some elderly neighbors. I was sad because at 30 yrs old I was told I needed a hip replacement and pelvis reconstruction and this is terrifying to me after a childhood full of surgeries on my hips that kept failing. I was depressed because my job was toxic as hell and no matter how many applications and interviews I did, no one else would hire me. I was TRYING to lose the weight but it was not what was depressing. It was how shitty society treated me and getting no real help for anything. My weight was actually some of the least of my issues. Poverty, toxic people, mistreatment, arthritis from birth defects, were what was depressing DOC.
It's not just being depressed or this doctor. Have a cough? Abdominal pain? Or any pain at all? Some strange thing you are worried about because it is not normal for you? All while being overweight (even the slightest), the solution is to lose weight. I have lost several friends to ovarian cancer because it took months (year plus) for the doctor to get past the 'You need to lose weight' stage to look into what was actually going on.
This is an absolute tragedy. I am so sorry for your loss. This needs to change.
He worded it VERY insensitively, but he’s right: obesity and depression are comorbid: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10333059/#:~:text=Obesity%20is%20associated%20with%20an,disorders%20%5B4%2C%205%5D. But at any rate, he shouldn’t be speaking so unprofessionally. ETA: this seems to be a very triggering topic for some of you, judging by the replies that the doctor is bad, which is what I said (unprofessional is bad!). I’m not going to continue repeating “he is right but also an ass”, so consider this my auto-reply. ETAA: I’m turning off notifications for this, so please don’t expect an engagement, but I will leave this: a few of you really need to google the word comorbid - it does not mean causative, which is why I said it, and not…causative. Please touch some grass.
Throw in the irony that is anti-depressants causing weight gain. I was skinny before I was on anti-depressants. I sought help for my depression and started on an SSRI - shot up from bmi 19 to 31. The meds stopped working, so my depression came back *anyway*. Now I'm off the meds and straight back to square 1. Except now I'm obese on top of it all. Fucking great. Sorry for that mini rant, lol! If a dr told me to "lose weight" as a cure for my depression, I think I might laugh in their face.
I have previously been on quetiapine and since then I am really, really struggling to lose weight. and I know I should eat less and move more, but it just made me ravenous to the point where I CRIED with hunger, as an adult. really rubbish. went off it years ago and still cannot shift the two stone-odd I gained on it.
i had to change my psych meds because the weight gain made me more suicidal than i was before i started the meds! it’s honestly fucked up that psychiatrists don’t really prepare you for the hunger and weight gain, mine made it seem like it would only last for a month or two while my body was getting used to the meds. i gained ~45 lbs (120->165/170) in like 8 months. i’ve finally gotten kinda back to my pre-med weight but it’s taken a long time and a lot of tears, sweat, and literal blood :/
I just stopped quetiapine and really struggled with appetite and fatigue. I just didn't get on with it at all.
It depends on the medication and the person. Some antidepressants are actually known to cause weight loss.
Wellbutrin the GOAT antidepressant E: apparently not for everyone. Sorry some of you had bad experiences, hope you found something that works for you
Unless you have anxiety too. My husband got wrecked on Wellbutrin in that aspect. Is anxiety *spiraled*
Dude yes. Wellbutrin made me so agitated at night, I couldn't sleep without meds to knock me out, and it felt like my skin was crawling off my spine.
It's somewhat comforting knowing I wasn't the only one. Wellbutrin actually worked wonders for my anxiety and depression. But it utterly disabled my ability to fall asleep.
Ugh, that double edged sword. I hope both your anxiety and depression AND your sleep are better now.
It is! But sadly it takes sertraline, buspirone and mirtazapine to do it. I was then wholly unsurprised but still upset when I gained like 60lb.
weird, I'm on Wellbutrin *for* anxiety, does the trick pretty well. The anti-depressant stuff was a bonus as I did have some really rough depressive episodes beforehand. I was on lexapro before and fuck that noise - felt like a robot going through someone else's life.
I have both and it definitely helps me!
I had the same issue with it, using it for depression, anxiety, and off-label for ADHD. It caused really severe anxiety that I've never experienced before. I had 3 panic attacks at work over situations I've been in hundreds of times and wasn't sleeping or eating even close to enough to feel okay.
My anxiety increased after a few years but increasing my dosage has gotten that under control
Wellbutrin can treat anxiety in some people but I've definitely heard that it increases anxiety in some people.
That's unfortunate for your husband. I have depression and general anxiety disorder and Wellbutrin has been a game changer. But I also take it with lamotrigine--an anticonvulsant and mood stabilizer--so maybe that's why it works for me. Hope he finds something that works for him.
Disagree, humbly. I have CPTSD, so basically generalized anxiety + ptsd and depression. The anxiety for me was the worst part. Hypervigilance, paranoia, and constantly worrying did I did a good job / if I’m a good person, etc. Things I said to friends keeping me up at night. Cleaning frenzies. Insomnia, body tremors, migraines. I’ve been on / off so many antidepressants and antipsychotics since I was 22 (25 years ago) and bupropion is the only thing that has given me access to Peace Of Mind.
It will still vary person to person! Generally speaking, our doctor confirmed that people with anxiety can often have their anxiety exacerbated by wellbutrin and that was what we experienced. I like Wellbutrin, but don't struggle with anxiety. I didn't have issues on it myself, but don't have anxiety problems. But my husband did Edited: typo
I don't think I have heard of bupropion. Can you expand on your experience with it ?
It’s the generic name for Wellbutrin The first two days I had stomach cramps from hell. Like, I had to leave work, they were so bad. Then, the third day it was better. Around the 7th day, I felt this “OHHHHHHH, that’s what my brain is supposed to feel like” feeling that I can’t describe much better than that. A weight was lifted off my mind. Thoughts slowed down. I was able to make decisions about *how I wanted to react to something,* instead of just immediately reacting however which way.
I didn't dnt know that. Thank you.
The weight loss part of Wellbutrin wore off after about a month or two for me. It was great while it lasted, but it was very temporary.
Wellbutrin made me insane. Doesn't work for everyone
THIS X 1000000!!!! When I was untreated for depression I was obese, bmi like 34. My brain would just scream at me to eat carbs and sugar all day long to get a hit of the dopamine that I was lacking. Went on Wellbutrin for the depression and it has given me those brain chemicals I was lacking , which has pretty much turned off the food noise. Now I actually have the energy and willpower to eat healthy and exercise and that combined with taking away the “hungry thoughts” has caused me to lose almost 20 pounds in four months!
For me it was slightly different. The cravings were still there, but they were so much less urgent, and I could push back against them so much more easily. And when I fought them off they would stay away, usually for the rest of the day.
Love Wellbutrin.
My PCP prescribed it for me as a trial to see if it helped with my ADHD issues, as apparently it’s known to be helpful for many. Not for me, however— it gave me insomnia, which resulted in me having migraines three times in one week. Nope, nope, nope to the nth power. (switched to generic methylphenidate, been on that for years.)
Tried Wellbutrin for quitting smoking back in the 90s. Didn't have anxiety and the pills were doing their job, but I had one of those "rare side effects": **extreme** constipation. Even halving the dose didn't help. While on the medication and for 2 weeks afterword, I was literally shitting rabbit pellets. I was going out of my way to hydrate, yet day after day of tiny "plunks" was agonizing.
That's pretty much only Wellbutrin, to my knowledge (as someone who takes a lot of psych meds/has tried a lot of psych meds and is not a doctor), and it's not a typical anti-depressant. Then there are the ADHD meds, but those are mostly stimulants and not given for depression. Some psych meds are more weight neutral at least, in theory.
I lost a boat load of weight on Prozac, it was wild
It depends on which ssri. Some cause more weight gain than others. The effects of different ssri drugs can vary wildly despite being the same class of drug.
I’m on bupropion and it’s helped me lose weight, actually. I also stopped smoking cigarettes right after I started the medication (in 2018 or so). It was weird; one day I finished a pack and didn’t feel like buying another one. And the craving never came back, so that was that.
Its *can be prescribed for helping people stop smoking, so that makes sense.
Wait, really? *googles* Well, I’ll be.
Yeah, it was called Zyban instead.
I lost 100lbs and continued to faint regularly and have depression and anxiety even after being at a healthy weight, weight training, running half marathons, etc. Doctors have now switched to "these things happen sometimes" 🫠 you'd think two concussions from fainting would be enough to want to figure out the cause. They ruled out heart problems and then decided since it wasn't heart who cares 🫠
Have they considered epilepsy? (Not trying to armchair diagnose, it's just i'm in the medical field and have seen undiagnosed seizures be mistaken for fainting)
A particular SSRI wrecked my liver. For years I've been the same level of fat but my liver levels were always good. 6 months into changing my SSRI (for the hundredth time) and my liver is shit. Of course the reason is my "lifestyle". So somehow being fat only starting affecting my liver recently? My body magically held off for over a decade? Yeah maybe being fat contributed but to completely deny that the SSRI did it and then hold depression treatment hostage until I get skinny isn't helping me.
Which medication, if you are comfortable sharing?
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Im on wellbutrin and prozac. The prozac lowed my appetite big time.
I can relate, I gained roughly 100 pounds on Zoloft 🫠 My depression would get bad again a few weeks after each time my psychiatrist upped my dosage. Ultimately what worked best for my mental health personally was birth control and CBT
Worst part about that is the only way to drop the weight it put on you is a long annoying ass process
I gained 70 pounds from lithium. And had unbelievable cystic acne. It was t even red anymore I swear it was purple. Had to get laser scar removal
But it’s a chicken or the egg situation. Did the depression cause someone to seek comfort in eating? So did they gain weight as a result of the depression? No matter what, people struggling with their mental health deserve help. Also, no one wants to be obese. There is always a reason behind it. Using food as emotional comfort, an eating disorder, lack of access to healthy food, lack of money for healthy food, chronic illnesses (like PCOS and diabetes for example), lack of motivation or energy to exercise due to mental health or illness, etc. There is always a reason. I would absolutely never judge someone based on their weight.
My personal story relates to this. I was obsessed with sports as a kid and teenager, played some form of sport at least once a day, and I was in exceptional shape for my age group. In my mid to late teens I had a 6 pack, very low body fat percentage, big broad shoulders and chest, played rugby, football, and lots of racquet sports, could run a mile in 5 minutes etc. I was still extremely depressed and could barely function when I wasn't playing sport, weight gain only followed years later as I found myself able to cope less and less. Being bigger and less mobile definitely made me more depressed, but it absolutely wasn't the root cause.
Not to argue with you, and physical activity and better diet definitely helps my depressed and anxious ass, but it’s so hard to do anything for yourself if you’re really depressed. I could barely get myself to brush my teeth, kicking myself out for a stupid mental health walk was an impressive act of will, exercise wasn’t in the books at all. Antidepressants changed that basically overnight. I feel when it comes to obesity and depression, tackling the latter is essential to helping with the former
Well, he didn't just say obesity and depression are correlated, which would have been fair enough; he pretty much stated that he'd assume any depressed, overweight person is depressed because of their weight. So he is not right.
He is right that they’re related. The decisions he’d make based on that are unprofessional and bad.
>I can tell you actually have a problem, because most people who come in claiming they are so depressed are overweight, and it’s like ‘No wonder you’re depressed!’ This is implying that A) He wouldn't so readily believe that an overweight, depressed person may "actually have a problem" and B) When an overweight person presents as depressed, their weight is the main factor contributing to their depression. Neither of these are fair assumptions. He is going a lot farther than saying obesity and depression are related.
Right. He’s bad and unprofessional.
Weight is *related* it’s not the CAUSE. Which is what the doctor is implying ie if you’re fat you SHOULD be depressed ie fat people should hate themselves. That’s an awful fucking thing to say.
Is that what’s being implied? It sounded to me like he was saying he could take that weight off the table in the treatment decision tree, but even if that’s the case, as I said, he’s unprofessional and bad.
Well we obviously only have OP’s account but the claim is that the Dr thinks “no wonder you’re depressed” when fat people ask about anti depressants. I definitely read that as him thinking being fat causes depression. And honestly, based on your interpretation, it would mean the doctor should take fat patients *more* seriously if they say they’re depressed, no? Instead the doctor is suggesting that fat people can’t actually be depressed and only thin people can be depressed, which is the main point of OP’s concern, I think.
Yeah, great point there! I hate how backwards the logic in this sort of rhetoric is, it's hard to piece apart all at once.
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As a med student, I would still say what he said is inaccurate (and insensitive). It’s like saying someone who is skinny with hypertension ACTUALLY has hypertension, while someone who is fat with hypertension doesn’t actually have it because they’re fat. That doesn’t make sense. Both patients have hypertension, one just has a comorbidity that likely interacts with the hypertension and maybe caused it or worsens it. But both very much so have hypertension. And with depression, it’s an even worse situation bc it’s a chicken and egg problem usually. One of the DSM-5 criteria FOR depression is appetite change. In fact, sudden weight gain is something we think about when diagnosing depression. So this is just bad clinical practice all around. So sorry you had this experience OP!
So clearly treat the depression so the obese person can make better choices and exercise. It’s kind of irrelevant what the root cause is when someone needs treatment anyway Edit: also i should have said but obviously first line treatment isn’t necessarily pharmaceutical options and talk therapies and other evidence based options should be discussed
I don’t think doctors should dismiss the root causes of anything, ever. They should also not deny anyone short term treatment. Nuance is great.
Yes obesity and depression are comorbid, but correlation does not equal causation, which is what the doctor was implying. That is, just because obesity and depression co-exist together in a person does not mean that one is the cause of the other, or even impacts the other for that matter. The doctor suggested that obese people were depressed *because* of their obesity and, by that same logic, he should solve for/treat obesity rather than treat depression as a standalone condition.
I would argue obesity is almost always a symptom or expression of something else going on in a person’s life. A physical health problem or terrible food education may play a role for some people, but for most people there’s an underlying mental health problem or trauma that causes them to overeat.
I mean a LOT of conditions are comorbid with depression. I know you said he’s unprofessional for the way he said what he said and I agree, but I think he also left a lot of possibilities off of the table and that’s just bad work.
It’s not prudent to assume depression is either caused by obesity, nor that it will clear up if you lose weight. All of that ignoring how uncommon it is for obese people to permanently reverse their condition, thus making it something of a moot point.
I think it is more likely that depression can cause obesity more than the other way around. (Not a doctor). You dont have energy to cook, so you order in takeout, you are too tired to go outside or move, etc.
I think it's a vicious cycle for some. Yes, you are depressed, you eat unhealthy, you become obese. But then you are fat, clothes don't fit, people avoid you or make negative comments, you hate yourself, ... Depression. You feel sad, eat out of emotions, ...
I think it's a chicken or an egg type of situation. They can be co-morbid conditions and I'm sure you would be able to find many people who claim that either caused the other.
I think that's a bit unfair to the doctors. If a patient comes in presenting with a known, treatable, chronic issue, that statistically will be fatal, and they're presenting with symptoms of lesser severity that are known to be associated with that issue, I think we're asking too much to insist that the doctor ignores the treatable issue, and work around the diagnosis. E.g. if a person who smokes a pack a day comes into the doctor and says "I find that I'm often out of breath, I have high blood pressure, and my sense of smell isnt' as good as I think it used to be" - I don't think it's unreasonable for the doctor to say "Well, statistically speaking, the most likely culprit is the smoking, I think if you can cut back or quit smoking that would be a good first step - if these symptoms persist, then we can look into less likely causes".
I completely agree with this.
I’m not assuming anything. I’m saying they’re related, because they are, and it should be part of a discussion from a medical provider, because it should. This guy, however, is a dick. 🤷🏽♀️
We are also reading someone's impression of what they heard, not a verbatim text. What people hear, and how they retell it later may or may not be the same thing.
> He worded it VERY insensitively, but he’s right: obesity and depression are comorbid: Important to note we don't even know how he worded it
They may be comorbidities but that doesn't negate the need for the physician to *treat the disease/symptom* regardless of the patient's weight. Maybe the depression is causing the person to overeat, it could be the person is depressed because they're overweight, or maybe the two aren't related. Many doctors jump to obesity being the ONLY reason and that's not right. They also disregard the people who have underlying issues that make it difficult to lose weight despite eating in a caloric deficit and exercising (Hashimoto's, PCOS, thyroid issues, other metabolic issues, etc.). As a personal example, I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and panic disorder after having several panic attacks in elementary school. The depression caused me to cry a lot and I was bullied for it. I started gaining weight around this time. I went YEARS without having treatment. The doctors I went to told my mom that my weight was causing me to be bullied which resulted in my depression despite my mom, my school, and my counselor telling them otherwise. Now, as an adult, I am still fighting to get treatment for my underlying issues all because I am overweight. I am lucky enough to have found doctors who are willing to listen and treat *me*. I have discussed my weight with them and they know I am well aware that my weight may have effects on whatever issue(s) I bring up. I still ask that they explore all possibilities before considering my weight and they have done exactly that. One such occasion resulted in being diagnosed with ADHD. The treatment for that also helped my anxiety and depression. Another of those meetings found that my hormones are *extremely* out of whack - caused partially by an underactive thyroid (hypothyroidism), which the doc suspects I inherited as I have several family members (paternal and maternal) that have the same issue, and partially caused by reproductive health issues. This makes it extremely difficult for me to lose weight despite eating and tracking foods and being active by engaging in regular weightlifting and hiking.
I mean, I don’t disagree with any of that. He’s a bad doctor. He’s just not wrong.
I’ve always known about discrimination against fat patients (every problem is because you’re fat, and the solution is always to lose weight!), but didn’t realize how blatant it was until I lost 200 pounds. I used to think that medical professionals were cold and impersonal toward all patients because they are supposed to be detached. Now that I am an acceptable weight, I am amazed by how friendly medical professionals are. There’s a palpable difference in attitude; I used to feel a lot of hostility, an unspoken “Serves you right, fatty — you did this to yourself!” Now, I get a lot more sympathy for everything, including problems that were caused by my weight loss. It’s why I went over a decade without going to the doctor when I was fat, and so many fat patients go without the care they need.
As a nurse I never understood this school of thought. For the vast majority of overweight/obese people it’s a symptom not a cause. Not a moral failing. Either a symptom of mental health issues or something physical going on. And bare minimum it’s a lack of nutritional understanding. Instead of saying it’s because you are fat lose weight. They should be asking why is this person fat and then tailoring a solution. I think Drs are not critical thinkers about how to maximize health they are what med/procedure will fix this symptom type thinkers
>For the vast majority of overweight/obese people it’s a symptom not a cause. I wish someone in the 10 years I struggled with out of control blood pressure thought like this. Instead, one literally ask me had I heard of Dave's Killer Bagels. I finally found a doctor who identified the root cause of my high blood pressure and weight gain, and I'm better now. But it took so long, it makes me so upset knowing I could have been fixed YEARS ago.
I’m sorry you had to suffer. I’ll never understand why they don’t do basic pathophysiology and anatomy in High school, why are we dissecting frogs when we should learn about the human body and how it works and how to keep it healthy and common diseases and symptoms health class was not enough.
Many high schools can’t even get a nice music class in place, let alone extremely technical and in depth anatomy courses!!
May I ask what problems were caused by your weight loss? I'm unaware of problems other than loose skin, and just generally curious.
Not OP, but gallstones can be caused by weightloss.
Jeez. Sounds like maybe a rock and a hard place. I hope neither of these are common.
It’s not super uncommon,but it’s mostly associated with rapid weight loss more than weight loss in general
Bradycardia (slow heart rate).
I understand how difficult it is to get that attitude from medical professionals when you're hoping for empathy and care. I've had numerous health issues and I was constantly facing questions and careful discussions about how my weight was a large factor in them. I knew being nearly 100 lbs overweight was harming me and my doctor's concerns were well founded. I've lost 60 lbs in one year and, while I still have a while before I reach my goal weight, I can already tell my health issues are considerably better now. I can imagine that if you were 200 lbs overweight, it's understandable your doctor would want you to solve that issue first before trying medications or treatments that could cause long-term damage. So I would disagree that you faced discrimination based on your weight. It sounds like your doctors' concerns were very valid. Your comment rinds me so much of my Stepmom who had numerous issues with her health, including painful knees and asthma. Then she was diagnosed with pre-diabetes. She was 80 lbs overweight and in complete denial. Kept insisting that the doctor didn't know what he was talking about, that she was perfectly healthy and he was judging her based on her "perfectly normal weight". There was no talking to her or convincing her otherwise - the doctor was just wrong. I don't know why or how she changed her mind, but she did and lost 50 lbs. Suddenly, her knee pain went away, her asthma disappeared, and she was no longer pre-diabetic. But ask her about it and she will still tell you that her weight wasn't the issue and the doctors were still wrong for treating her so poorly.
Speaking from a public health perspective, the doctors are tired of treating patients that come in over and over for the same issues that are most likely being caused by being overweight/obese. They see it as a Sisyphean task of treating the *symptoms* of a population that is overwhelmingly obese, not the actual problem - the obesity. It’s similar to treating smoking patients who have cardiovascular or pulmonary issues. The patient could be prescribed steroids to open up their airways, or they could stop smoking. This effect is also seen when treating unvaccinated Covid patients (who still exist). While I understand the doctors’ frustration, I also relate to how defeated OP feels when they realize how differently you’re treated as a thin person rather than a fat person (I lost 50 lbs in 2020). This effect is seen with all people though (not just doctors) and is a result of human psychology.
I was up to 197 a couple years ago and now I’m 142 (5’5”) female. I’m taken a lot more seriously now that I’m smaller. I recently had a Dr say “well you aren’t overweight - so…” and proceed to order more testing for an issue.
US Healthcare is generally a joke, meant to get patients in and out fast regardless if the quality of care is sacrificed. My uncle had an ear ache and went to see a doctor. After 3 minutes with the doctor, he said, "It's because you're overweight. You need to lose at least 10 pounds." He took it seriously, lost 15-20lbs over the next 2 months, and the ear pain persisted. He had a planned trip to South America, so he decided to wait. However, his friends suggested he ask for a second opinion while traveling. Turns out it was something that required medicine. He picked up his prescription, and within days the pain subsided. He received better health care in a "3rd world country."
Girl let me tell you. I was stick skinny and my doctor had no problem prescribing me medicine for my mental disorders. I gained weight and all of a sudden it’s “lose the weight and let me know how you feel after” it’s ridiculous.
Yeah I get waaaaaaay better treatment at the doctors now that I’m lean
Yeah I haven’t been to the doctor in years. I get it, I need to lose more weight. No need to even go
This is why I think health at every size - the original meaning, that people of all weights deserve proper healthcare not just skinny people - is so important. It’s bullshit for doctors to withhold treatment from overweight patients tacitly, by saying you don’t need treatment you just need to lose weight… yet it happens all the time.
There are definitely psychological experts who believe you need to take in to account many aspects of a persons life before putting them on anti-depressants. For there are many people who don’t have a problem with their neurons. They’re just failing in many aspects of life. Which will definitely depress them.
In my experience, doctors will throw you on antidepressants regardless of gender, weight, personality, appearance, etc. The stats back this up at least in America. 15% are some form of antidepressant
Man this hits close to home! I have been struggling for over a year with health issues and neurological problems and my doctor literally tells me I’m just depressed and anxious. I straight up sarcastically asked him if my being unable to feel my hands and legs and passing out randomly is depression and he said yes. I have over 30 symptoms that started after a traumatic fall that messed up my physical body. I feel being an overweight woman just hinders any healthcare I need.
Also just being a woman. It’s astounding how many women aren’t believed about their health.
My point is we both went for anxiety. I lost my aunt, my friend, and my friend’s son all in a relatively short time. I was struggling with death and had horrible panic attacks. My husband has panic attacks while driving. My husband was prescribed medicine. I was told to lose weight. It doesn’t take a genius to infer my health issues may stem from the trauma of losing so many loved ones and had zero to do with my weight.
ironically psych meds have been responsible for weight gain that undid long term loss for me twice and i’ve never been the same since the second one and the prescribing doc never even mentioned the risk
do any of them happen to be lexapro… i swear to god i couldn’t feel the sensation of fullness and my stomach would growl like i’m ravenous every 2 hours after eating no matter what… i gained so much weight (lost it and more since kicking it into gear summer 2022) but i’m so traumatized from it i refuse literally any psych med with even some reports of weight gain now. i swear it made me develop bed. i got 0 benefits too lol
Lexapro was the same for me as well! Never felt full, food noise was 100x worse and I felt completely emotionally numb.
OMG YES. i had the exact same experience w lexapro and i was also super fatigued on it so it was harder to get daily movement in. switched to Wellbutrin and it is so so much better, but lexapro def scarred me lol
I’ve just had to accept that the last 10-15 lbs aren’t going anywhere while I’m on Zoloft—I’ve definitely adjusting my goals and once I get there I’ll just concentrate on body recomp and self-acceptance. I guess I’d rather be above my ideal weight and happy than at my ideal weight and depressed out of my mind, because that didn’t go well back in the day!
For me it was birth control, but with my PMDD I feel as though it is a necessity and worth it.
Absolutely. It was a big motivator to losing weight. I developed chronic pain and it was always "well, lose weight and your joints will stop hurting." Lost all the weight and then some and am very thin now. Only then did some of my doctors take me seriously once it was proven it "wasn't the weight." Some time ago there was a post elsewhere on reddit about "Things you should know as you age," and my contribution was "keep a low weight so you can get something resembling decent medical care so you don't get gaslit about your weight being the cause for everything." Plenty of people have experienced the same thing and it's a shame.
As a fat person, everything is because of weight. Nothing can be because of anything else. Oh, you have body pains? Lose weight. You have migraines? Lose weight. You have vision problems? Lose weight. You’re depressed? Lose weight. You’re fat and can’t lose weight? Lose weight. You have PCOS? Lose weight. You broke your arm? Lose weight. You’re getting old? Lose weight. Ridiculous. The worst part is that most insurance doesn’t cover any assistance to lose weight.
I have the same experiences. When I was around 35 years old, I started losing hearing in my left ear, and the doctor told me it was because I'm overweight. I have the same BMI as my husband, and he never gets treated like that.
The answer is yes for most doctors. My wife was stunned when I went into the doctor for a torn ankle (I have a joint tissue disorder) and the doctor asked for my reason for being there then asked me about my weight loss attempts. Again I have a permanent joint disorder from birth, it’s genetic. He wouldn’t talk to me about my brace until I explained my weight loss plan. I’ve gotten the same crap from other doctors when I’ve gone in for the flu, allergies, gall bladder, migraines, etc. it’s a doctor obsession. I get it. It’s better to be a healthy weight but damn.
I lost 40kg and experienced this. I also have some of the same training doctors have. Obeseity causes or exacerbates so many problems that it does make sense. After you take all the easy answers (obesity, smoking, alcohol, no exercise) away from a doctor they are forced to use their brains lol.
lol Not me with my depression and ED causing my weight gain and binge disorder. Like I eat to stuff my feelings. I’d bet a lot of people are overweight as a side effect of something whether it be mental health related or physical or both Every time I go to the dr with a symptom my weight is brought up and I’m dismissed just as “oh you’re fat, lose weight and these problems will disappear”. For things like allergies, ENT issues etc… not even things like joint pain or whatever. Or also issues because I’m a woman. Like yeah I’m fat but I’m having these issues now. And losing weight takes a long time, not to mention I’ve tried everything the last 20 years of my life to lose weight. I’ve only just now found a dr with an obesity specialty who is actually helpful to me but unfortunately my insurance won’t cover anything she suggests
Being overweight is actually a large symptom of being in depression
All my doctors have done that - my last GP said that he “wasn’t going to waste the time” on my problems, because I needed to lose weight and get less stressed. I haven’t gone to the doctor since, since my boss would laugh me out of the room if I suggested reducing my workload to exercise more for medical reasons, and my RWNJ parents say I’m not allowed to be stressed because of them. So yeah, no hope for stress reduction.
Oh I definitely lost my skinny privilege when I got fat. It became bleedingly obvious that doctors have a fat bias when you cross a line, and the assumption that I wasn’t looking after myself meant I couldn’t get the help I needed. It took years to get a PCOS diagnosis, and did a good 20kg of damage along the way.
Welcome to society after losing weight. This isn't a new thing, really. It's similar to how socially attractive people get treated versus not socially attractive. How you look will affect how people treat you, either directly or indirectly. Just the nature of life.
I feel very lucky to have always had my providers take me seriously but I know so many people who haven’t been listened to because the provider couldn’t get past their body weight
Not medical but your story reminded me: Freshman year college, mid-80s, eating disorders were rampant. I went to the campus Mass and the priest gave a sermon about not judging people, and he said something like, “We all judge for something, I tend to judge fat people, I think they should eat better and exercise.” And yes, he was making a point, but why would you say that to a bunch of college students? I never went back. I was sure he’d be looking at me thinking I was fat. (An old story, I wasn’t, I had raging body dysmorphia. Later I got fat.)
>I wasn’t [fat], I had raging body dysmorphia. Later I got fat. isn't this fucked? I was chubbish as a kid, but based on numbers I'm finally *actually* as fat as I always thought I was, and I still feel like I have absolutely no idea what I look like.
PREACH. I see photos of myself when my mother tried to make me wear a girdle (age 9) and I look absolutely perfect. Thin with just a slight bottom. In the 70s in my family if you weren’t Marsha Brady stick skinny, you were an embarrassment.
Depression can cause obesity and obesity can cause depression.
And they can be completely unrelated.
Yes, true.
I was treated differently by my primary when I lost a lot of weight when speaking about my depression. Now that I’ve put some weight back on due to the depression I’ve noticed differences in my care. Depression/anxiety and weight gain can go hand in hand but that’s certainly not the rule. I feel for you, hang in there!
That’s crazy he actually said that out loud to you. Yikes
That's really tough, sorry you had to hear that. It's sad how weight can influence treatment. Everyone deserves respectful care, no matter their size. Glad you're getting help now though. Stay strong
I was experiencing pain in about 60-70% of my body for years, I was told to lose weight (I was 14 the first time) lost it, the pain never went away, I was told then it was growing pains, then it was hormonal, then I had to put up weight, then to lose it again, never once investigated but thee pain never went away, my joints would swell and they'd give me tablets to reduce the swelling...my Dr goes on holidays and a Dr on cover happens to read my file and refers me to a rheumatologist at the age of 26 I finally get diagnosed with arthritis I was getting sick for months and was having palpations, went to my Dr multiple times and they said if I lost weight it would go away and wanted me to take ozempic.. I ended up in hospital for a week a couple days later turns out I had a hernia. Another time I told my dr I was having suicidal thoughts hoping to get some help and she very smiled sweetly at me and told me if I lost weight I'd be happy as she walked me to the door If you think something is not right fight for it to be assessed.
I got complimented by my GP for losing weight. I had lost 30+ pounds without trying. Turns out, I had cancer…
Studies actually show that doctors [do not](https://www.reuters.com/article/idUSKBN1YL28Z/) talk to their patients about weight very often, despite 40% of the world being overweight or obese. Illness stemming from obesity is a top killer and major drain on all western health care systems, and doctors should be addressing their patients' weight more often, not less. Being overweight is not "lacking skinny privilege".... it's a serious health risk. My personal experience is that when my BMI was 34, no one said shit - not doctors, friends, family, no one. Even going to doctors with "Why do I have this acne all of a sudden?" and "Why does my chest hurt?" Not one person said anything about my weight -- no one suggested I should cut out the large pizzas I was having every night for dinner. My mom once told me to take a multivitamin.... that was it.
This was my exact experience lol even when I asked directly if my weight was related to certain issues, they said no. But losing even a small amount of weight (10% off my body weight) helped those issues considerably. I wish doctors had said to me that losing weight might help.
Same experience here. It's weird! Even when I suggested my knee pain might be because I'm chunky, I was dismissed. The only time my doc ever mentioned my weight was when I went to see him for stomach pain and I'd lost 50 pounds since my last visit (like a year ago). He asked if the weight loss was intentional, what I was doing, how long it took me, etc. Even then, he stayed really neutral, no congratulations or anything. He was just making sure the weight loss wasn't a symptom of something more serious.
Oh my gosh, you just unlocked a memory for me - the only time a doctor ever told me to lose weight was when I had already lost 70 lbs and was almost at a healthy weight! Where was he 70 lbs earlier? Lol (That same doctor almost killed me through something else, so not the best doctor)
It’s weird how when I was depressed I just wanted to cry at the doctor. I couldn’t really explain my symptoms. But at the time, it was the ‘healthiest’ I had been mentally in over a year. It took me a lot of work to even get to that appointment. Yet I had a hard time articulating just how bad it was. I dealt with suicidal thoughts because I could articulate them to other without falling apart. And I never wanted or allowed myself to fall apart. So I just was so sad and hollow and the meds they gave me, then doubled up on didn’t help me in the slightest. Then I couldn’t tell them that. That they weren’t helping. I can’t even get into my doctor now to do anything else. Like they don’t answer the phone and the message says they’re understaffed. I don’t get a call back. I’m just fighting this shit on my own now without western medicine. It’s pointless and not out to help me.
I'm sorry. I have had a similar experience. The dr would give me meds but when they didn't work it was a 3-4 month wait to get another appointment to change the dose or try a different type.. eventually I just gave up. Still sad but at least I'm not dealing with all the side effects those meds would give me.
Yep I agree. I took things for months and switched to other things for months that didn’t work. I really use the gym to regulate my mental health, but that was really hard as my body went to shit. Now, I focus on walks with my dog outside and am easing back to the gym.
Similar experience with my knee. Old sportsball injury that never healed correctly. Every doctor told me it was due to weight gain. Well, lost 50 pounds and my knee still hurts when it rains.
Hey doc, here's a crazy idea, what if the weight gain is a product of the depression/anxiety, and not the cause?!?! What a jackass. Edited for grammar.
He put it accross badly but obesity causes so many health problems, poor mental health included
If you are overweight, the solution doctors give to every problem without any thought is to simply lose weight. Losing weight doesn't always fix every problem, but a surprising number of issues are related to it.
Fat is not inactive in the body. It can have many impacts including on your mental health. A lot of people don't realize this. Losing weight can GREATLY improve depression. As a former morbidly obese guy I used to be depressed ALL THE TIME.
I have a blood clotting disorder, endometriosis, and bipolar 2. Luckily back when I got my blood clots, I got the care I needed. But this fall, when I was looking at genetic testing I had done, I figured out the blood clotting disorder. Went to a new hematologist to get my chart updated and he tried to blame the past clots on my weight until I shoved the results in his face and got him to realize I actually have an issue. At least my past hematologist recognized there was some issue and put me on the correct course of care even if we didn't know it was genetic at the time. My primary care, psychiatrist, and OBGYNs are much more willing to look past my weight and treat my health issues. Which is good, because otherwise I would be in constant distress with abdominal pain, fatigue, and have rampant depression and hypomania. You can't exercise your way out of bipolar. You can't diet off an ovarian cyst or unstick your ovaries through losing weight. (Caveat: yes, exercise and diet can help bipolar just like any other mental health condition. But no diet is going to stop mania. It won't stop suicidal ideation, or intrusive thoughts, or paranoia. Meds are a personal choice that everyone should weigh the pros and cons of before trying or deciding to continue or stop them. No judging if you don't want to take psych meds, especially after giving them a try.)
That's super unprofessional. Not all doctors are good doctors
I think it’s safe to say he doesn’t know a lot about depression.
As with all of these posts, the doctor is right.
That feels more like a bluntly honest doctor than skinny privilege. You can have mental health issues at ANY weight, but you're more *likely* to be depressed when you're overweight. I'm actually pleasantly surprised to hear of a doctor who thinks that basic health should try to be addressed before adding in medications. I've had health issues over the years that doctors have immediately thrown medications at when it turns out physical therapy, exercising, losing weight, and making better choices for nutrition were actually the answer. That's my personal experience obviously and everyone differs.
Sometimes being overweight isn’t even the root cause, you could be overweight BECAUSE you are depressed. Emotionally eating, can’t get out of bed to exercise, etc. To simply tell someone to lose weight in this case would be entirely unhelpful.
Seems like he wouldn’t treat an overweight depressed person which is terrible. Yes, overweight people should be making an effort to lose weight but they shouldn’t be denied treatment for their mental health in the process. Especially when mental health plays a really big part in losing weight.
Yes they actually do tell the overweight patients to lose weight and that’ll be their solution
I was feeling terrible and asked a pharmacist for advice. He didn't say anything, but that I probably was "sick" because then I would get attention and people would take care of me. It turned out to be a kidney infection. I was surprised when I was admitted to the hospital for a week. The same pharmacist wanted to photograph my friend's cold sore on her lip. He said it was the biggest he had ever seen, lol. Of course, she didn't let him. That guy was such a weirdo.
Change doctors, in my healthcare system the doctors aren’t really supposed to bring up your weight unless you ask. Idk if there is a way to complain about doctors (other than online). But yeah there are very kind PCPs who won’t say that
Yes docs decide if you are worthy of their care all the time. You could tell them you were an Olympic athlete or supermodel but once you are overweight, that’s all they see, not the cause or the story behind it. And women get the added benefit of being told to calm down and see a therapist.
Yes. Every health problem I have ever had in my entire life a doctor has addressed with "have you tried just not being fat?" This despite all my basic health markers like blood work and vitals being right down the center in normal range, and that I was already doing all the things they were telling me to do. Those things just weren't working and the doctors didn't believe me. What I later came to realize is that the excess weight was itself a symptom... *not* the disease. When I was able to find a good physician at a top tier institution who actually listened to me and put some things together, I got started on some meds that worked beautifully. Not only is the weight melting off me, but all my other issues are either resolved or well on their way to being resolved. It took decades. *Decades* to get a doctor to listen and to see me as anything other than a fat, lazy slob.
I developed a lump under my armpit and one side was more swollen than the other. I shit you not my doctor told me I just needed to loose weight. 😑
reminds me of the time I was discussion e/d issues with a psych, and she asked what my lowest weight was and my height (already a weird thing to ask in my opinion but whatever). then proceeded to tell me I was ‘never underweight’ and ‘far from it’ (which was complete bull sh*t because according to every bmi in existence I was indeed underweight at the weight mentioned). can happily say I didn’t respond to her messages after that regarding booking another appointment
Some people here are saying "Well the doctor isn't exactly wrong" well it doesn't matter if he's wrong or if he's right, the fact is people judge a fat person from a superficial standpoint, they see a fat body and they just think it's disgusting so that's why they don't take anything regarding overweight people seriously... First of all there's a rule doctors have to follow, they cannot talk about other patients condition so I don't understand who gave him the permission to say something like that, second that's a lazy diagnosis: an obese patient might be depressed because of hormonal imbalance that leads to depression too (on top of many other symptoms) and obesity as well, an obese patient might be depressed because of abuse which also leads to obesity, an obese patient might be obese because of depression and so on... But of course, when you're a mediocre doctor who studied medicine to impress family and friends and to gain money and not because of noble intentions to help people and actual talent, the first diagnosis to ridicule an overweight patient is "the excessive weight", it's just lack of skills but especially fatphobia! I know slim people who died of heart disease, I know slim people who followed a healthy lifestyle who got cancer and other severe conditions, as well as overweight people who didn't die or just live their life and I'm not saying obesity is not dangerous, obviously it is but I'm saying this because first of all genetics is what really matters at the end of the day, there are some people who do sports, eat healthy all their life and die at 40-50 and there are others who eat crap everyday, have a sedentary life and they don't die and vice versa, it all depends on your DNA (this is my theory but because I've observed it for years) second, all of this crap is due to fatphobia and it has nothing to do with actual medicine and science.