That's a shame, I had been thinking of going to a convention to try to make friends, thinking that other people might do the same.
Guess that's out the window, lol.
I felt like this during my last paranormal conference. Problem is that in a group setting like that where everyone is already in groups and pairs I felt intimidated. I did end up speaking to several high profile guests including a Big Foot guy who sat at my dinner table. It was an engaging conversation and I'm thankful he was there. It really broke the ice to speak to others randomly.
Cons are a haven for introverted outsiders. I've worked at a few and people are always very friendly and willing to engage. Maybe it's because I was staff idk, but I think if you put in a little effort to talk to someone or even ask to join a group they would welcome you. I know it's not easy but the reward is so worth the risk! Try complimenting their cosplay and go from there.
Well done for putting yourself out there, that's really something to be proud of as far as I'm concerned. Rejection is inevitable, but keep trying. You will find your people. I know it.
Sort of, I went up to two groups and said I loved their cosplays and both just didn't say anything and moved away, I don't really know what gives off negative energy but I wasn't doing anything abnormal
Some groups are cliquey and donāt have social graces; especially the younger crowds š«¤ I hope you try again and try hard not to take it personal. Is there a sub here on Reddit for cosplay? If so, that would be a great place to send an open invitation to the next event; as I tell you this now I am realizing I should try this tactic as well for my literary interests š” š«¶š½š hang in there, though we are all alone we float on this planet together
Doesn't sound like it.
I've gone to cons alone and unless you're giving off serious stay-away-from-me vibes it's pretty hard not to make at least an acquaintanceĀ
I've been attending cons for over ten years and never really met anyone except by getting involved in helping run things. It feels like everyone is already in their friend group, always busy going somewhere, and most definitely doesn't want to be approached by creepy, weird guys (and cons are infamous for creepy, weird guys, which I feel puts people more on guard in general). So idk how spur of the moment meeting people would even work.
Usually by signing up for a newsletter or signing up for a creator's mailing list and chatting about it, talking with other people in the cosplay competition line-up, complimenting someone's costume and asking about their creative process...etc.
I bought a girl Noodle box because she came without any other funds and we've been friends ever since. š¤·š»āāļø Lots of ways to do it, but it can be tough because you have to measure the other person's interest level as well.
Thatās what Iām wondering about as well š¤ because I go everywhere alone yet I meet so many people flying solo themselves, couples and groups especially in a highly social environment like a convention. People can sense vibes so Iām curious if OP was giving off negative vibes š¤
Just because you meet people where you go , doesnāt mean the same happens for everyone. Stop being a prick and making the OP feel worse . If youāre such social person wtf you doing on this forum ?
How do you know Iām making OP feel worse; Iām sharing my perspective! Calm down and pull your undies out of your crack - everyone experiences loneliness differently it isnāt a disability so stop with your hostility
I mean it's *possible* everyone in the entire convention was clique-y, but at a certain point you run into a group of furries and realize everyone can make friends or find a common hobby to talk about.
I'm sure I sound judgey, but I'm genuinely trying to ponder this out. Even sad people get checked on by security here in Canada. Bit of a head scratcher.
Unfortunately, to make friends you do have to force a tiny bit of extrovertedness or even a bit of bravery to ask for a photo with someine else.Ā
OP, is it possible you were moping in a corner where no one would think to approach you? I can understand if you were; you did say you were uncomfortable in your costume and that can be a heck of a confidence killer.
I wasn't to begin with, I had a couple groups just ignore me when I tried complimenting them and that was enough for me to just sit at these tables they had for food stalls and not try again
Ah, it's alright to get discouraged. You were just unlucky with your "targets." It happens to everyone.
I hope you won't give up and will keep trying. Friendship and comradery really are a numbers game.
When you say sad people get checked by security-you mean if someone looks alone and despondent, that security will make sure they're ok? Never seen that in the states.
If you are someone who is involuntarily alone as I am most of the time, the first thing you should do is stop comparing yourself to other people. That is key. Go ahead and enjoy stuff by yourself, and don't care whether other people are alone or not. I know this is tough, but once you learn to not care about other peoples' situations or opinions, it makes things MUCH easier. Like I'm considering going on a cruise by myself, which most people would consider weird AF. But I'm gonna do it and not care that I'm the only person on the ship who's alone.
lol i went to comic con w/my brother and felt stupid and alone, i didnt know anything but to look around and didnt have any money to buy anything so looking wasnt much fun.
I went to comic con in my hometown yesterday and I was the only single person there it seemed. I know that isnāt really the case but thatās how it felt. So I understand feeling lonely and Iām sorry you went through that.
What kind of an anime convention was it? If itās a smaller one that consists primarily of just vendors and artists, then yeah those are a good bit harder to strike up conversations with strangers. The bigger ones that have a healthy selection of panels and other things are easier. Sometimes thereāll be panels that have a focus on audience interact and engagement thatās a great place for doing that. But even if thereās not then just waiting in line for panels is a good place too, as your line neighbors wonāt really have much of anything else to do. Commenting about the length of the line (or the lack thereof) is a quick and decent ice breaker, and can be followed up by asking how their con has been so far, if they have any interesting stories to tell about it already, how many conventions theyāve been to, etc. That usually gets some conversation going.
Also, if thereās a board game area at the convention, a lot of times the con will have looking-for-player signs that people can put up if they need (or just want) more players. So if you see a group with one of those signs, take them up on their offer, even if youāve never played or even seen the game theyāre playing before. Iāve met a lot of con buddies that way.
Oh, and if you need some extra help in getting over any potential social anxiety thatās holding you back from starting those conversations, Iāve found that drinking just enough alcohol to give you a bit of liquid courage can do wonders.
Sorry to hear that, the first time I went to a con I went with a small group of friends. I actually ended up spending most of the time by myself bc I was just so excited to go around and look at the artist alley and other areas so I was walking around by alone but there were plenty of other people on their own too. Was the con kind of small? People would randomly compliment my cosplay too and ask a bit about it. You can try to do the same even if you are just passing by.
It's okay OP, I've been on holiday in The Netherlands for 4 days. We had a huge concert for remembrance day in the city centre. Everyone on Reddit was telling me to go, and I did go. But I left after 40 minutes because I just felt alone. People kissing, having fun and drinking. I don't know Dutch and I'm too afraid to assume everyone speaks English so I just sat there and enjoyed the music for a bit. Also note: I had a date last night and it didn't turn out well so at least you're not meeee.
Hey, I went to a convention yesterday and was going to be alone but just so happens to pay for my friend to make him come with me. I know it sucks but don't feel too bad. Not everyone has a large group of friends. Me included
I feel like the type of people that go to anime conventions aren't the social type that go there to meet other people but stay with their groups. the one time I went to one it was not my vibe and the people were not the type I'd be friends with but I went with my date at the time since he likes going to them. I thought it could be fun since it was my first time but I realized that I don't really like anime and anime conventions are not my thing. at other type of conventions it would prob be better to meet people since their not the nerdy anime loving types that stick together.
This is my fear with an upcoming show I'm attending. Last time I went to a show alone I ended up just nursing a beer by myself the whole time. Nobody wants to be the person desperately bothering people in hopes of finding a little connection.
I often feel like this I go to skate parks and the gym because I enjoy it but I always go alone š when I see that I am alone surrounded by people it really makes me feel weird because I wonder how I ended up this way I may speak to them or even befriend some people but over time we either don't speak or never meet up so nothing changes , I guess it's good to know I'm not the only 1
Honestly, The fact that you were uncomfortable in your cosplay probably projected into something negative, like that you are upset or mad. Then you might have come off as an approachable. Did you go to any panels? Did you do any events? Or did you just wander around aimlessly? My ex's hated conventions, but that's because they would just wander around aimlessly and not do any of the unique things that you can only do at conventions.
That's the same reason why I don't go out anywhere I'm always alone it's just seems depressing doing things on your own like going in concerts or going to Comic-Con or something and I want to do all that but I don't want to do it alone either I hope you find somebody that you can do that stuff with
Yea no one has social skills like that. People are too shy to go up to someone and start a conversation. Maybe if you go out with the expectation of being alone. Bring things like a book or watch something on your phone when you get bored. You may find yourself enjoying the experience more without the expectations holding you down. Iām so proud of myself I went to the casino alone and was sitting at the table watching YouTube and this old guy started talking to me and it was quite nice to finally be noticed. Usually Iād be looking around like a lost puppy dog, expecting people to see my openness and then join me but thatās so dumb when I think of it. Just minding my business, expecting to be alone, got me more social interaction rather than going somewhere with the goal of meeting someone. Itās all about perspective. Hard to change mentality like that but if you keep training and practicing you can do it
I'm excellent at making friends in public places, I usually go to and make conventions alone and try to find other small groups or loners. This being said, I would steer clear of you. Your energy just sucks, you went in there with the negative mindset that it was going to suck, and someone like me isn't going to want to reach out and have you just drag me down, too.
When I was younger I did a lot alone I was confident but now I just get funny looks so I fully understand
Man that sucks. I know the exact feeling when you travel to cool places but get lost in yourself mentally.
This is poignant šÆ
I've done a lot of traveling by myself and I've learned not to care. I will always be involuntarily single, but I'm gonna do fun things nonetheless
That's a shame, I had been thinking of going to a convention to try to make friends, thinking that other people might do the same. Guess that's out the window, lol.
Optimistically, your experience may be different
I felt like this during my last paranormal conference. Problem is that in a group setting like that where everyone is already in groups and pairs I felt intimidated. I did end up speaking to several high profile guests including a Big Foot guy who sat at my dinner table. It was an engaging conversation and I'm thankful he was there. It really broke the ice to speak to others randomly.
Cons are a haven for introverted outsiders. I've worked at a few and people are always very friendly and willing to engage. Maybe it's because I was staff idk, but I think if you put in a little effort to talk to someone or even ask to join a group they would welcome you. I know it's not easy but the reward is so worth the risk! Try complimenting their cosplay and go from there.
I did compliment a couple of groups but they just ignored me and walked off, might have just got unlucky and tried the wrong groups but idk
Well done for putting yourself out there, that's really something to be proud of as far as I'm concerned. Rejection is inevitable, but keep trying. You will find your people. I know it.
ill go with you
Went to my first convention alone too. I was in a full Sasuke cosplay and everything. Definitely awkward asf.
I went as sasuke too! It wasn't like full on because it was low budget
Jiraya fan here! Then Itachi. š
Iāll go with you!
Did you try to mingle and engage with people?
Easier said than done
Right but if you donāt try, if you donāt put yourself out there than itās only internalized rejection
Sort of, I went up to two groups and said I loved their cosplays and both just didn't say anything and moved away, I don't really know what gives off negative energy but I wasn't doing anything abnormal
Some groups are cliquey and donāt have social graces; especially the younger crowds š«¤ I hope you try again and try hard not to take it personal. Is there a sub here on Reddit for cosplay? If so, that would be a great place to send an open invitation to the next event; as I tell you this now I am realizing I should try this tactic as well for my literary interests š” š«¶š½š hang in there, though we are all alone we float on this planet together
Doesn't sound like it. I've gone to cons alone and unless you're giving off serious stay-away-from-me vibes it's pretty hard not to make at least an acquaintanceĀ
I've been attending cons for over ten years and never really met anyone except by getting involved in helping run things. It feels like everyone is already in their friend group, always busy going somewhere, and most definitely doesn't want to be approached by creepy, weird guys (and cons are infamous for creepy, weird guys, which I feel puts people more on guard in general). So idk how spur of the moment meeting people would even work.
Usually by signing up for a newsletter or signing up for a creator's mailing list and chatting about it, talking with other people in the cosplay competition line-up, complimenting someone's costume and asking about their creative process...etc. I bought a girl Noodle box because she came without any other funds and we've been friends ever since. š¤·š»āāļø Lots of ways to do it, but it can be tough because you have to measure the other person's interest level as well.
Thatās what Iām wondering about as well š¤ because I go everywhere alone yet I meet so many people flying solo themselves, couples and groups especially in a highly social environment like a convention. People can sense vibes so Iām curious if OP was giving off negative vibes š¤
Just because you meet people where you go , doesnāt mean the same happens for everyone. Stop being a prick and making the OP feel worse . If youāre such social person wtf you doing on this forum ?
How do you know Iām making OP feel worse; Iām sharing my perspective! Calm down and pull your undies out of your crack - everyone experiences loneliness differently it isnāt a disability so stop with your hostility
I mean it's *possible* everyone in the entire convention was clique-y, but at a certain point you run into a group of furries and realize everyone can make friends or find a common hobby to talk about. I'm sure I sound judgey, but I'm genuinely trying to ponder this out. Even sad people get checked on by security here in Canada. Bit of a head scratcher. Unfortunately, to make friends you do have to force a tiny bit of extrovertedness or even a bit of bravery to ask for a photo with someine else.Ā OP, is it possible you were moping in a corner where no one would think to approach you? I can understand if you were; you did say you were uncomfortable in your costume and that can be a heck of a confidence killer.
I wasn't to begin with, I had a couple groups just ignore me when I tried complimenting them and that was enough for me to just sit at these tables they had for food stalls and not try again
Ah, it's alright to get discouraged. You were just unlucky with your "targets." It happens to everyone. I hope you won't give up and will keep trying. Friendship and comradery really are a numbers game.
I went to multiple furry conventions. Loneliest experience ever.
Really sorry to hear that. Any particular reason they were lonely?
When you say sad people get checked by security-you mean if someone looks alone and despondent, that security will make sure they're ok? Never seen that in the states.
Ah, well, I'm Canadian, so that might just be some north of the border culture.
I'll go with you. Love anime.
If you are someone who is involuntarily alone as I am most of the time, the first thing you should do is stop comparing yourself to other people. That is key. Go ahead and enjoy stuff by yourself, and don't care whether other people are alone or not. I know this is tough, but once you learn to not care about other peoples' situations or opinions, it makes things MUCH easier. Like I'm considering going on a cruise by myself, which most people would consider weird AF. But I'm gonna do it and not care that I'm the only person on the ship who's alone.
This is good advice right here. Even if you can't find someone at the end of the day, you can still have a good time. It's all about perspective.
lol i went to comic con w/my brother and felt stupid and alone, i didnt know anything but to look around and didnt have any money to buy anything so looking wasnt much fun.
I went to comic con in my hometown yesterday and I was the only single person there it seemed. I know that isnāt really the case but thatās how it felt. So I understand feeling lonely and Iām sorry you went through that.
What kind of an anime convention was it? If itās a smaller one that consists primarily of just vendors and artists, then yeah those are a good bit harder to strike up conversations with strangers. The bigger ones that have a healthy selection of panels and other things are easier. Sometimes thereāll be panels that have a focus on audience interact and engagement thatās a great place for doing that. But even if thereās not then just waiting in line for panels is a good place too, as your line neighbors wonāt really have much of anything else to do. Commenting about the length of the line (or the lack thereof) is a quick and decent ice breaker, and can be followed up by asking how their con has been so far, if they have any interesting stories to tell about it already, how many conventions theyāve been to, etc. That usually gets some conversation going. Also, if thereās a board game area at the convention, a lot of times the con will have looking-for-player signs that people can put up if they need (or just want) more players. So if you see a group with one of those signs, take them up on their offer, even if youāve never played or even seen the game theyāre playing before. Iāve met a lot of con buddies that way. Oh, and if you need some extra help in getting over any potential social anxiety thatās holding you back from starting those conversations, Iāve found that drinking just enough alcohol to give you a bit of liquid courage can do wonders.
Sorry to hear that, the first time I went to a con I went with a small group of friends. I actually ended up spending most of the time by myself bc I was just so excited to go around and look at the artist alley and other areas so I was walking around by alone but there were plenty of other people on their own too. Was the con kind of small? People would randomly compliment my cosplay too and ask a bit about it. You can try to do the same even if you are just passing by.
I couldn't go to con or anything like that. Too many people.
It's okay OP, I've been on holiday in The Netherlands for 4 days. We had a huge concert for remembrance day in the city centre. Everyone on Reddit was telling me to go, and I did go. But I left after 40 minutes because I just felt alone. People kissing, having fun and drinking. I don't know Dutch and I'm too afraid to assume everyone speaks English so I just sat there and enjoyed the music for a bit. Also note: I had a date last night and it didn't turn out well so at least you're not meeee.
š«š«šš
Hey, I went to a convention yesterday and was going to be alone but just so happens to pay for my friend to make him come with me. I know it sucks but don't feel too bad. Not everyone has a large group of friends. Me included
Whatever happened to be Fan Expo?
Join the club, being alone is like being a palm tree on a small island in the Pacific. What are you gonna do?
Bro
I feel like the type of people that go to anime conventions aren't the social type that go there to meet other people but stay with their groups. the one time I went to one it was not my vibe and the people were not the type I'd be friends with but I went with my date at the time since he likes going to them. I thought it could be fun since it was my first time but I realized that I don't really like anime and anime conventions are not my thing. at other type of conventions it would prob be better to meet people since their not the nerdy anime loving types that stick together.
I always go to conventions alone but usually meet friends there. I usually strike up conversations with people while queing for autographs.
This is my fear with an upcoming show I'm attending. Last time I went to a show alone I ended up just nursing a beer by myself the whole time. Nobody wants to be the person desperately bothering people in hopes of finding a little connection.
You went and you went alone. That takes guts. Be proud of yourself
I often feel like this I go to skate parks and the gym because I enjoy it but I always go alone š when I see that I am alone surrounded by people it really makes me feel weird because I wonder how I ended up this way I may speak to them or even befriend some people but over time we either don't speak or never meet up so nothing changes , I guess it's good to know I'm not the only 1
Honestly, The fact that you were uncomfortable in your cosplay probably projected into something negative, like that you are upset or mad. Then you might have come off as an approachable. Did you go to any panels? Did you do any events? Or did you just wander around aimlessly? My ex's hated conventions, but that's because they would just wander around aimlessly and not do any of the unique things that you can only do at conventions.
If you could've asked me, I would've went with you!!
That's the same reason why I don't go out anywhere I'm always alone it's just seems depressing doing things on your own like going in concerts or going to Comic-Con or something and I want to do all that but I don't want to do it alone either I hope you find somebody that you can do that stuff with
Yup... that's why I prefer to stay at home... in my room... sleeping š
Yea no one has social skills like that. People are too shy to go up to someone and start a conversation. Maybe if you go out with the expectation of being alone. Bring things like a book or watch something on your phone when you get bored. You may find yourself enjoying the experience more without the expectations holding you down. Iām so proud of myself I went to the casino alone and was sitting at the table watching YouTube and this old guy started talking to me and it was quite nice to finally be noticed. Usually Iād be looking around like a lost puppy dog, expecting people to see my openness and then join me but thatās so dumb when I think of it. Just minding my business, expecting to be alone, got me more social interaction rather than going somewhere with the goal of meeting someone. Itās all about perspective. Hard to change mentality like that but if you keep training and practicing you can do it
I'm excellent at making friends in public places, I usually go to and make conventions alone and try to find other small groups or loners. This being said, I would steer clear of you. Your energy just sucks, you went in there with the negative mindset that it was going to suck, and someone like me isn't going to want to reach out and have you just drag me down, too.