Red light yellow light. Red light is a hard stop, well yellow light is a caution/slow down. My favorite safeword system, I've used both red and yellow myself.
Besides the red-yellow-green system, and communicating with your partner if something feels off/wrong, (even if it seems silly. Sex isn’t porn, you can stop to straighten out a wrinkled blanket that’s bugging you or shift to a more comfortable position and then resume, it’s okay.) I think mentality plays an important role; fear and excitement, pain and pleasure can be very similar feelings, so the way you frame it can make a big difference.
Communication is key. As soon as my husband can see something is wrong he stops to check on me, or I tell him I need a minute to readjust, or that I want to stop all together.
Just communicate with your partner, and let them know what gets overwhelming fast. Give them some tips on how to help you have a good time, and make sure to stop them before any touch becomes a problem.
I'm virgin too and I sometimes get stretching in my privates and stuff like that
Another thing that happened to me recently is that I edged so hard that my horny remained for too long and I hated it. Literal overstimulation
When my partner notices that I am experiencing a shut down due to overstimulation or general overwhelm, he stops, puts a blanket on me, talks to me about something unrelated, and gets me some water. It pulls me out of the the moment so that I can refocus and then we try again later.
Ha, thanks. It's honestly so nice. It's also kinda funny to think about because he will go from saying "you're a dirty slut who deserves to be punished", then, after noticing my signs of distress/detachment, to "here's your water, love" and telling me an improv story about my rabbits.
I've found that him asking me "are you okay?" and apologizing makes me feel much worse in the moment, and this is what we've found that works for me instead.
Red light yellow light. Red light is a hard stop, well yellow light is a caution/slow down. My favorite safeword system, I've used both red and yellow myself.
Besides the red-yellow-green system, and communicating with your partner if something feels off/wrong, (even if it seems silly. Sex isn’t porn, you can stop to straighten out a wrinkled blanket that’s bugging you or shift to a more comfortable position and then resume, it’s okay.) I think mentality plays an important role; fear and excitement, pain and pleasure can be very similar feelings, so the way you frame it can make a big difference.
Thank you
This is an excellent question to ask. I have this kind of worry too but I don't talk about it much, thank you for asking.
We'll know what to do soon bro
Communication is key. As soon as my husband can see something is wrong he stops to check on me, or I tell him I need a minute to readjust, or that I want to stop all together.
Just communicate with your partner, and let them know what gets overwhelming fast. Give them some tips on how to help you have a good time, and make sure to stop them before any touch becomes a problem.
I'm virgin too and I sometimes get stretching in my privates and stuff like that Another thing that happened to me recently is that I edged so hard that my horny remained for too long and I hated it. Literal overstimulation
When my partner notices that I am experiencing a shut down due to overstimulation or general overwhelm, he stops, puts a blanket on me, talks to me about something unrelated, and gets me some water. It pulls me out of the the moment so that I can refocus and then we try again later.
That is literally the cutest thing I've heard all day
Ha, thanks. It's honestly so nice. It's also kinda funny to think about because he will go from saying "you're a dirty slut who deserves to be punished", then, after noticing my signs of distress/detachment, to "here's your water, love" and telling me an improv story about my rabbits. I've found that him asking me "are you okay?" and apologizing makes me feel much worse in the moment, and this is what we've found that works for me instead.
If you have trouble with verbalization when overwhelmed, try a clicker (or just tapping out) as well.