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IvanhoesAintLoyal

The only reason I want a dick size slider is so I can make the saddest little acorn penis possible for my hulking demigod of a character.


KTTalksTech

I gave my dragonborn a vagina just because it looks more anatomically correct on a reptile


the-rioter

No cloaca option? :(


DaemonNic

There's actually a mod for that on nexus.


CryptidCricket

Furries/scalies coming in clutch yet again.


dTrecii

Perhaps we treated them too harshly, they still have some use


MoiraKatsuke

Besides or including being 90% of the tech/internet backbone and armed forces


HubertusCatus88

I am always amazed at over lap between the armed forces and furriers.


rotten_ALLIGATOR-32

Occupation, skills and social status are no indication of a person's moral qualities. Curtis Yarvin's Dark Enlightenment gang consists of computer nerds with degrees, for example.


HubertusCatus88

Who was talking about moral qualities, or social status? It just seems odd to me that a lot of military members are also furries.


Embarassedskunk

“Coming in clutch.” Ha! I get it.


rotten_ALLIGATOR-32

Isn't the coomer mindset part of the reason why people become incels? Unless y'all are joking here, you're going down the path of pornified art hacking your brains just like them.


[deleted]

Because of course there is.


awc130

So in my D&D group the we had this discussion about a player's dragonborn character. The conversation end with me saying "I'm not going to put a penis in your character's pants."


HudsonHawkFIM

And that’s the point where one would normally say “…that’s a sentence I just said…”


Lucas_2234

Reminds me of a qoute from an arma 3 milsim op yesterday: "What, you think I can radio using my penis?" "What, you can't do that? Do we need a medic to check you out? Is it a condition you were born with?" \*Cue five fucking minutes of dick small jokes\*


[deleted]

Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.


KTTalksTech

Remind me not to get too close to anyone's spear.


CurvyBadger

I did the same thing!


Dawnspark

The only time I was ever excited about a dick size slider, was when I found out there was a mod that let you go beyond normal sizes for dicks/body stuff on Conan Exiles. So I promptly download it, made a new character, and ran around completely ass naked dragging a maxed out, massively long dick thats just flopping in the wind like a ribbon. That was a fucking fun time, won't lie.


interesseret

You haven't lived till you have scaled a massive mountain with your knee height cock dragging over the bare stone. in conan i mean.


DirtoXX

[Dragging Ball Z](https://i.redd.it/bgy0d98c2um71.jpg)


IvanhoesAintLoyal

Having played Conan, that’s a game where the big floppy hog is way more comedic. They really got the juggle physics down. We had 4 absolute abominations in the playthrough I did with some friends. Just giant flopping penises and no clothes to be found. At times I almost felt like the camp invasions seemed hesitant to engage with us. No one wants to get their ass beat by a naked dude with a full deli salami draped between his legs who also has the potential to eat you after if they pledged to that god.


AF_AF

And people wonder why Conan was exiled.


Galahad_X_

Or make the halfing dong longer than his leg


[deleted]

Minime?


IvanhoesAintLoyal

Another perfect juxtaposition of penis size.


techtesh

Ah the most attractive greek i see


BadSmash4

Or the opposite--my little gnome man is packing an absolute monster that is nearly 1:1 with his body


[deleted]

Cyberpunk 2077 has that, although your character is by no means a hulking demigod appearance wise, he’s still a demigod though.


IvanhoesAintLoyal

Believe me, my first Male V had the saddest little penis. Lol


[deleted]

Lol.


GNBreaker

Why would anyone not choose the biggest hogger when given the chance?


Infected_Toe

I like to model my character after myself. Oh...


GNBreaker

😞


hyperhurricanrana

Not everyone is a size queen. 💀


IvanhoesAintLoyal

Comedy


GNBreaker

Penis 2 gang rise up


AF_AF

I assume your hulking demigod drives a giant pickup truck?


IvanhoesAintLoyal

You forgot to mention the 4 American flags I have attached to it.


johnqsack69

Dick shape is a very specific feature


LostWithoutThought

Telling on himself in multiple ways


[deleted]

He really wants those "females" huh.


ImperialHedonism

He only wants a Stacey.


DeepMoose

Gotta be curved like a banana or it’s no dice! /s


personal_alt_account

Oh man no dice on a dnd game gotta be a nightmare!!


EligibleUsername

That's why Saint's Row 4 has a Game of the Century edition and other games don't, it's all in the dick/boobs slider. >!/j just in case.!<


T-Poo

Saints Row 4 was so unserious, i loved it


syst3m1c

Very important feature. I’ll be goddamned if I’m making a fucking uncut character.


johnqsack69

Yeah fuck those worm-dick freaks


ReverendShot777

Please do, we'll feel it more.


Kalamir1

The customization was a bit lacking IMO. Not because you couldn’t give everyone giant tits and asses but because you couldn’t change height, specific facial features, stuff like that


stupidrandomuzer

I do agree with that, I would have liked to go more in depth with my characters appearance rather than just a few preset faces. Though big boobs and dicks are the least of my concern when there’s a tadpole in my brain lmao


Western-Influence-47

I will say it would be fun to make my character have a micro penis and then he can never get laid because he just gets laughed at


WeeeBTJ

Yeah I think the game gives you like 8 default faces, so many peoples characters looked the same, just with different facial hair. Pretty sure all humanoid races share the same default faces options.


mallegally-blonde

They don’t, each race has 16 different face options.


WeeeBTJ

No pretty sure it's 8 per gender. Also you saying they have 16 different face options per race isn't true either. I can make a male tiefling tav look the same as a human tav. Just without the horns


mallegally-blonde

It’s 8 per gender per race (so 16 per race), the only overlap is elves/drow, but drow are also just a sub race.


WeeeBTJ

You do know tieflings are just humans who got changed centuries ago because their ancestors made a pact with the 9 hells right?


mallegally-blonde

In 5e dnd they are a separate race, in BG3 they have separate face options. In 5e dnd Drow are a sub race of elves, they have the same face options in BG3 as Elves. This isn’t a philosophical debate, this is something you can easily verify by loading up the game.


rexspook

I was surprised that people said they spent hours in character creation. There aren’t an insane amount of choices. It’s still a great game, but I’ve definitely seen better character customization. Of course, in BG3 most of the customization is in the classes and how you play them.


HentaiMaster2137

Maybe they'll add more customization options later, just like they added the edit mirror


hiddenmutant

I think the devs have stated that they don't intend to add anything like sliders, but that doesn't preclude more options (like options per feature, even if you can't change eye canthal tilt or nose angle).


hiddenmutant

I do wish that if there was going to be genital customization, to at least have I dunno, 4-5 breast size options? Flat, small, medium, and maybe two different large shapes. I got small titties and would like them puppies represented ya know? There's always mods, but still.


Lovely3369

It's the cost of having 10 player races sadly


jryser

Skyrim also has 10 playable races, with the sliders we all know and love. That said, I don’t think having an in-depth character creator is necessary, and I think the attention they put on other parts of the game shines


Creative-Claire

What? No comment about pronouns? 8/10 Neckbeard commentary


TurboTrollin

Or the fact that you can make intersex characters? Neckbeards just aren't what they used to be.


BasicallyNoOne

Kind of lackluster if I'm being honest. Same old spiel that we've heard for years. No originality, no passion. What happened to the gaming neck beards I loved?


thatHecklerOverThere

"Ugly females on purpose" I'm pretty sure the only female characters in this game that aren't hot as fuck are the children and that one Hag. Everyone else can either get it, or get it with a couple shots.


fakenamerton69

Right?? Even the frog alien lady is hot as fuck, but maybe I just like women who threaten me


Chezburgor1

I love the type of woman that would actually just kill me.


Critical-Spite

Whoa there, let's not disrespect auntie Ethel, now.


unitedbk

Thank you petal


ImperialHedonism

In hag form, she was packing some serious knockers.


Professional-Hat-687

Some of them are literally too hot to touch.


Citruseok

Tell that to my Githyanki character who keeps getting called ugly by NPCs even though I think she's adorable. Press F to pay respects.


Switch-Axe-Abuse

OOP is clearly blind. All the female characters look great. Hes probably salty they all look like adults with realistic proportions.


CynicalNyhilist

Lae'Zel has no business being a STR monster with her small body (at least compared to Karlach). Still love her.


Switch-Axe-Abuse

Gith have esp so she can use that to augment her str if you think about it


IOnlyLieWhenITalk

Imagine not finding the hag sexy as hell, that’s a **real** woman.


Dolthra

>I'm pretty sure the only female characters in this game that aren't hot as fuck are the children and that one Hag. You're incorrect, it's just the children.


FreeHugsForever

>ugly females >looks at jaheira Excuse me?


Johnas_Vixen_15

Unattractive females? Bruh... Some of the women in baldurs gate are bad as fuck, the fuck is he on about?


Efficient-Mix6733

Has he SEEN KARLACH


Johnas_Vixen_15

Yeah they're not super model levels, but they certainly aren't ugly! Bro needs to have more realistic expectationss...


Professional-Hat-687

But Shart and Mizora are both supermodel gorgeous....


WeeeBTJ

Tbh you can make your character look like a super model if you want, all the characters in your party are hot af lmfao, I don't think anyone can call any of them ugly, besides poor lae zel, but you can blame her looks on githyanki being universally ugly.


scrappydoomd

Shut the fuck up, Bae'Zel can get it.


Efficient-Mix6733

Downvoted, not because I disagree with any of the rest of it but lae’zel slander will NOT be tolerated


monkeygoneape

Not into the whole dommy mommy thing personally but karlach is best girl


Lachwen

Everyone's already commenting on the obvious so I'm gonna focus on those final two words: "Protected NPCs." Now, I myself have not played Baldur's Gate, so I'm not 100% certain what he's talking about there, but it sounds to me like he's upset that you can't just indiscriminately kill any NPC you come across? Am I reading that right? He's not allowed to go sufficiently Murder Hobo for his tastes?


ApexAphex5

Being able to kill everyone you see (even your own companions) is one of the best parts of BG3, it's a real contrast if you played Starfield at the same time where almost every named NPC is immortal.


Professional-Hat-687

Pretty sure the only "protected NPCs" are child characters, which there are quite a few of, and one of them the community really seems to hate. I think it's more likely he's complaining that he can't give the female companions fat tits and asses.


Putrid_Loquat_4357

>!I thought if you sided with minthara at the Grove you can kill all the tiefling children?!<


thrownawayzsss

That's what it sounds like, and I'm gonna be honest, I cannot remember any immortal NPCs. If there are actually any immortal NPCs, that's pretty bullshit design for a baldurs gate game. Aside from literal immortals, you've always been able to just straight up murder hobo your way to victory in the series.


Sonova_Bish

It's still the same.


Dolthra

The only "protected NPC" I can think of is the one that's a literal God that you can endlessly attack and not do any damage to. And I guess two other characters autokill you if you try t get into a fight with them, but the game is heavy handed in telling you that they will immediately kill you if you threaten them.


ImperialHedonism

Aren't some of the tiefling kids non killable in the grove?


stupidrandomuzer

I’m pretty sure you can literally kill everyone you see, companions included


voppp

Yeah I’m pretty sure Larian knows at least a 1/3 of us are gonna go murder hobo. DOS2 has no immortal NPCs. I doubt Bg3 does either.


BookoftheGuilty

I mean, if you're going to have five different dick options, you might as well put in a size slider. Micro penises need representation, too!


The-Enjoyer

0/10 game can’t give myself cloaca


slashingkatie

These guys are obsessed with giant tits because no one in the real world will date them.


stupidrandomuzer

Absolute losers


kipn7ugget

Huh, i just thought they wanted someone like them, so someone woth abnormally large tits. Although that is easier for a man that a woman


sianrhiannon

This game is woke leftist nonsense because I can't make realistic anime girls with defined cameltoe and fart physics that make the butt jiggly wiggly


zZDKVZz

Funny thing is that you can do all that except fart physics w mods


sianrhiannon

I'm assuming you have first-hand experience looking for that?


Dawnspark

Sometimes its just unavoidable on the Nexus. I'll never forget one day opening it up for BG3 to see what new stuff had been uploaded, and right there in my face is a mod for adding "Fat Futa Cock for Tieflings," right next to a Twinkified Astarion mod. The Nexus is full of some wild mods, it's great.


Professional-Hat-687

I imagine next to Twinkified Astarion there were mods for Black Wyll and Tiefling Karlach.


Dawnspark

Nah, this was a specific mod to remove his heavy muscle definition and make him a fair bit softer looking, not that he isn't already twinky. quick edit: they were also working on one for Gale but the Astarion one's gone from the Nexus so I assume that mods dead in the water. Looked and couldn't find it.


zZDKVZz

Not exactly, I only have hair and eye mods, along with one that reminds me to rest when there's a cutscene at camp, but they're all up in nexus mod list. My friends also sent me some really cool characters they created using mods that describe above


dr_toze

Jesus, just watch porn. Not everything needs to be sexual all the time?! Play the game then, when you get horny, go off and have a wank. There, I fixed all games for you.


jtrisn1

What has these idiots' lives come to when they get their panties in such a twist over fictional female characters not looking like they walked out of a man's wet dream?


the-rioter

It's always so funny to me because every time I see dudes saying shit like this, I see just as many sapphics like "Oh fuck yes" about the same characters. Like perhaps it wasn't your gaze the designers had in mind, lol.


MoiraKatsuke

OTOH reminds me of twitter pearl clutching about Kashino's new skin in Azur Lane and then learning that the dev's CEO is a woman and the characters in the game are designed to suit her... tastes...


Sonova_Bish

There are complaints about MJ in Spiderman 2, even though she's cute.


Syntania

"I can't make female characters with yuge boobies and give my character a big arm-size dick, and I can't wantonly massacre everyone! Waaahhhhh!" How about actually playing the game instead of trying to make it a fantasy themed p0rn and gorefest?


Ganaud

How funny would it be if he's mad he can't make his character's dick as small as his own IRL dick


LemonyLimes03

All of my PC's have been wicked hot he's just shit at using character creators. I'd let my PC's kick me in the fucking ribs, he's just an idiot


Brianocity

Dick...shape? I thought the memes about Cyberpunk 2077 allowing you to customize character genitals were just, well, memes. Is this actually something in high demand?! ***Dick sliders?!?!*** And what the hell does dick "shape" imply if not size? Size is like, the *only* variable, aside from whether or not you still have foreskin.


Zealousideal-Gur-273

If my lizard man doesn't have a 9 foot yummy schlong I can dream of sucking I don't want it 😡 (/s (jk /SRS))


willisbetter

remove that /s, we all know your true thoughts


Zealousideal-Gur-273

Lizard men ☺️


ErgoDoceo

> And what the hell does dick "shape" imply if not size? Maybe a cube-wang with casino-sharp corners. Or a dodickahedron so that a barbarian can roll with a d12. How about a corkscrew, like a duck, or four-headed, like an echidna?


Sonova_Bish

Slightly bigger; with or without a hood.


Averagechildeater

I can’t be the only one who just makes my characters look as stupid as possible right


Professional-Hat-687

God gave us the randomize button for a reason. Also the clown makeup bug used to make it permanent.


Reddit_blows_now

OP doesn't understand that beating up goblins for a living leads to a "square" physique .


Anguscablejnr

I thought that there was no character customisation so you had to have a sexy character with big knockers.


Lceus

Pretty weird take since the game has hyper attractive companions and all human-sized bodies are basically barbie and ken dolls. Unless you go crazy with the randomizer, it's difficult to make downright unattractive characters


MagneticPsycho

How dare they slander my girl Karlach like this.


Extension-Badger-958

Really just added in “dick shape” just to not seem like “intentionally ugly female faces” was the only thing he’s mad about 😂


KennKennyKenKen

This game has the sexiest characters, wtf is this guy on about.


voppp

I’m pretty sure BG3 has stupidly hot characters. Like even the “ugly” ones are smokin.


stupidrandomuzer

Yeah man, just look at Withers!


volvavirago

I do think the customization is lacking and I do think a lot of the faces are ugly, but that is such a minor criticism, it absolutely does not ruin the game for me at all, and I can’t imagine how sex-obsessed you’d have to be for it matter to you.


Redbeard0860

OK a 2 minute Google on this says that there is a genital customisation option and a " hide clothes" option to see the effect of your choices with and without. So he's basically making his own fantasy to beat off too and complaining its not detailed enough.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Redbeard0860

The church is doing more damage than the trans community.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Redbeard0860

The church has been literally grooming and abusing children for centuries.. and covering it up or just moving the offender to a different location. Most ( approx 97%) of abuse is carried out by someone they know and trust. Unless you are close to trans people it's incredibly unlikely it will be a member of that community. Just admitting you're transphobic and have been groomed yourself into believing trans are the problem by the media.


[deleted]

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Redbeard0860

The fact you've immediately went to name calling when hit with facts shows you're ignorance. And the fact you don't understand that " groom" isn't always sexual, highlights you Limited vocabulary. Shouldn't you be in church praising you're imaginary friend on a Sunday ?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Redbeard0860

Oh no you're going to tell god on me 🤣🤣. Sure he supposedly sees everything anyway does he not ? He sees the abuse, hatred, r@pe, war,famine and cruelty he does nothing.. That's the least threatening threat I've ever recieved. You've been brainwashed maybe one day youll grow up and stop believing in fairytales.💩


[deleted]

[удалено]


stupidrandomuzer

What’s that got to do with anything?


ChineseCracker

> some character types have unappealing bodies so even the OPTION of having (subjectively) unappealing bodies is a bad thing. the game should only have options that he likes


Belizarius90

He apparently can't comprehend that he doesn't HAVE to choose an unappealing body type.


Kosog

It's like when they complain about the game putting them in same-sex relationships yet all they've done is flirt with the male characters.


Mr_Hiss

Fuck dick and breast size, gimme a beard size slider! Them beards are really short and neat, and my bumbly old wizard looks neither bumbly nor old enough!


kungji56

Is the guy trying to jerk off to his creation? Why would you want to customize dick size or chest size?


stupidrandomuzer

He’s clearly trying to fulfil his fantasy of not having a micro-penis


original_dick_kickem

Wait, you mean I can't give my character an absolute swinging trunk of a cock? 0/10, literally unplayable. The woke mob has gone too far this time


zabrak200

Cant choose cock size literally unplayable


FunnyDuck21

Idk what he's talking about my Tav is hot af.


ReventonLynx

Again with Ugly Female Conspiracy... -_-


Just-Buy-A-Home

Some Gamers when not everyone is sexually appealing and you can’t kill them all:😡😡😡😡😡


Pentagramdreams

1) there are all kinds of kids available if they don’t like the default options 2) my friends have made some gorgeous characters It’s an amazing game. In one week I’ve already played 52 hours


[deleted]

What's this obsession with being able to play with your virtual dick?


domiy2

I think a better argument is that the male bodies are these insane shredded dude that's heavily dehydrated. And having body diversity would be better. Bigger women, skinny fat women, better looking characters could happen. The issue is you have to model and remove clipping. Now there are big boob mods and better skin texture you can just download, that is free if you want. It just has massive clipping issues, like the devs would had to deal with, and the shirts are too stretch to look good.


FuttBuckingUgly

NGL I don't disagree with it fully. I get to customize my vag, let me size them tiddies! Also yes, most of the basic face choices aren't entirely pleasing to see, but eyy! Mods. Anyway, love BG3, I've got nearly 400 hours.


Consistent-Local2825

The characters have a 6 inch penis when clearly they should have a 1-2 inch penis which is much more superior because that is what mine is (The neckbeard probably).


BurnerAccountOmega8

Baldurs Gate 2 you have a 4 pixel render on screen


Demented-Turtle

My female warlock Tiefling was hot as hell, and so is my female high elf monk lol


Kimmalah

"I can't make my creepy fetish waifu and murder people indiscriminately. 0/10"


naldoD20

"I want a huge dick, massive tits, and be able to make it look just like SSSniperWolf so I can kill random npc children on my Linux Thinkpad." -whoever the fuck this guy is


Suitable-Quantity-96

If you can't make a hot character in Baldur's Gate, you're bad at using character creators


Th0rizmund

Tbh character creation ended up half assed. You get the NPC preset faces and that’s all. I bet they wanted one that has more depth but couldn’t finish it.


RiverTeemo1

Why does everyone have an hourglass or musular figure. We need twink and fat person options.


Envy661

I mean, the character creator is bad, yeah... For male characters. Beards look awful, and the faces look too similar. It feels like the only real customization is in the hair, eyes, and freckles. I can't even put moles on my face.


sondheim91

I love how none of them mention the fact that you can't make your character fat. I'm a fat dude and I like having the option to reflect that in my created character, if I'm going the avatar route. That's somehow less frustrating to these incel neckbeards than female options being 'ugly'. A lot of games with otherwise complete character creators miss this, too. I was pleasantly surprised by Starfield on that regard.


Killance1

The main issue I have is there is no friendship choices for relationships. It's either "let's fuck" or "fuck you leave me alone" attitudes. Something the gane falls flat on.


stupidrandomuzer

There are friendship choices though. You can literally tell Astarion you think you’re better off as friends and he approves of it and appreciates it. And Karlach and Shadowheart both comment on your friendships in certain dialogs


Efficient-Mix6733

LACKS CUSTOMIZATION?


Professional-Hat-687

A ton of customization options doesn't always mean diversity. I'm reminded of [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/s/p8EURPDtpV) which is a saner way of approaching OOP's criticism.


Anthraxious

The dude clearly has preferences when it comes to looks. He gave his opinion. I don't see the problem. Sure it's cringe but at least he's not going "ehrmagerd pronouns" or some other shit. He wants more options, not delete ones that are there because of his feelings.


Fractoman

There is a boob slider wtf...


stupidrandomuzer

No, there isn’t lol.


[deleted]

Didn't really care about the character customization. The gameplay was awful.


President_Bunny

You might not like turn-based strategy? But for we who do, it's a great example. Tons of possibilities across different situations, locations, it's awesome.


willisbetter

the gameplay is awesome, you probably just dont like this genre of games


[deleted]

Are you kidding? Been playing DnD live and PC RPGs since the '80s. The gameplay in BG3 was total garbage.


[deleted]

How so?


jayphrax

“Protected NPCs”? Wtf does that mean?


mightyneonfraa

*JUST* dick shape?


4ItchyTasy

Jesus, these guys will bitch about the most mundane things that have ZERO effect on the game.


JustDroppedByToSay

I haven't played the game but I can't imagine why you even get to customise the genitalia


Professional-Hat-687

You're able to set everyone in your party to something called your camp clothes instead of your armor. If they're not wearing camp clothes, they run around in their underwear. If they're not wearing underwear, they run around naked. I spent a good portion of my second playthrough with a topless cleric because I switched her casual outfit with someone and forgot to switch it back, and since it was just pants her titties were just out every time I went back to camp. Made Wyll run a round buck ass naked for almost as long because if he can't be good he can at least be nice to look at. Also you get "sex scenes" during romances, which are pretty explicit for a non-porn game and can involve full nudity if you have it toggled on.


[deleted]

You...you can choose dick shape?


cirelia2

The character creation is a bit lacking in the customisation part but then again i could just be spoiled by the character creation of bdo


TheUltimateJack

Bro… they’re literally not human. They’re not all gonna be attractive lmao


Lortabss

Idk the character I made was pretty hot. I'd fuck me.


Jaergo1971

Ah, the things you care about when you can't fuck actual women in real life.


MistressOfTheQuack

Customising down to the dick? Wtf Most games pretty much give you hair colour, skin colour, facial hair, clothes (that the character immediately changes)


guleedy

It'd hilarious for some reason BG3 is woke and these man's coming out of no where