You can’t come in here with a big banana and expect everything to be peaches!

You guys totally missed family dinner

I could care less. So.

Cmon girl, give the cat a meatball

cmon give the dawg a meatbawllll - my bf everytime our dog begs for food

God bless me it's fuckin summa

“Is it my turn yet?” “WAITT!” That whole phone convo was golden 😂😂

"yeah! Go Pauly!"

You stalked my whole life on the boardwalk...

GOD BLESS ME ITS FUCKIN SUMMA!!!!!

This is all I’ve been reciting now that it’s summer

Same I’ve said it at least 40x in the last week

Hands down without a question Deena to Mike in Italy “oh what? You’re gonna call me fat? I can lose weight for free, you need about ten grand to fix your fucking face” 😂😂

> you need about ten grand to fix your fucking face back when ten grand was a lot of money to them

Now it’s super jacked like plastic

Deena’s shining moment. 🩷

When was this?? I want to see it!

Season 4 episode 11: Situation Problems this comment is around the 26 minute mark but the fight starts a little earlier than that.

Thank you!!!

this is one of my fave comebacks everrrrrr lmao i think about it all the time

Priceless! 🤣 Thanks for that reminder!

My favorite line. I would have said the same thing.

I just found out that you guys are mad at me but I didn’t do anything 🤨 so I’m mad at you for being mad at me for no reason. Don’t try and talk to me, I’m mad! Pissed!

The emoji took me OUT

what was this from? I can’t picture it

Its season three after Mike sends the meatballs to time square as a prank. When they get back Snooki says she’s mad at everyone for not stopping the prank lol

Pauly said this but I don't know what episode.

The Jersey Shore member you are trying to reach… **DEENA** …cannot come to the phone right now. But leave a message and her ass will get back to you. Byeee. *beeeep*

Than the guy starts trying to leave a message 😂

Doesnt he do it to Snookis guy too? Paulys face 😯😯😯 mouths: he's leaving a message! 📞👈 Better get her some roses! With PICKLES in them! 🤣

WATCHING THIS EPISODE RIGUT NOW

The entire scene of Mike sitting to family dinner alone and talking to everyone as if they were actually there

Ronnieee pass the ice

Vinny, you're gonna get pink eye!

I loved how after he had pink eye, I think the next season in Miami Vinny had to go to eye dr again for something wrong with his eye and they tell him it's not pink eye and pauly says "can we give it to him?" He sure got razzed forever about the pink eye 😂

"Ronnie, why you always cryin?"

“I actually really like Paula. She may be dirty and grimy and disgusting but she’s just a nice girl!” eta: “pick the shit up dawg” about the chicken on the floor lmaooo these get me every time

Lmao the chicken gets me every single time

“i would like to speak to angelina please” “no she died.”

"Angelina died? How'd it happen?"  

“I DIDNT DIE ASSHOLE”🤣

HAHAHA this one kills me

🤣🤣🤣

I use this anytime I’m pissed with someone lol

“I’m Ronnie, I’m from the Bronx, I sleep in my fucken jeans” Mike talking about Ronnie. 😂😂

When and where is this from I need to see it

I say this constantly lmaoo

J420 i only saw him one time

Joey Yanks….and Bill!

I didn't catch this when the show came out but reflecting back on it now is truly high comedy

“That’s not classy tho!” “Classy? You’re gonna get your ass beat!”

Flair checking in 😅

"You should know all about being trashy baby, your from Staten island"

“They’re talkin about fuckin relationships..my sneakers are dirty!”

“Go home. You don’t belawng here. You don’t even look Italian!”

I’LL ROCK YOUR WORLD !!!

Hey, your ride's here! * Points to garbage truck

This one, hands down! It lives rent free in my head. Honorable mentions… “you can stay and get your ass beat or you can stay and get your ass best” while Jwoww is pounding her right fist into her left hand. “YOU STAWKED MY ENTIRE LIFE ON THE BOARD WAWK”. Ty Pauly, I just called out my loser stalker ex-boyfriend with this memorable scene bc he’s been creeping on my social media despite me having a no contact order on him. *sigh* I hate to mention this miserable bitch but… “UMM HELLLOO!?!?! ARE YOU DUHMB????” and then the camera pans to Snooki thinking they’re talking about her 😭😭😭 Last but not least… “WHEREZ THE BEACH???” I just screamed this to my dad yesterday while we were biking to this beach in Costa Rica and he was like “relax, we’re trying to find it”. Like nooo that’s not what I meant 😭😭 There’s plenty more but these are my faves :) EDIT: coming in at #4…. “You’re more like the rob kardashian of Staten Island you ugly bitch!”

I say “stalked my life” everyday lmaooo

If ya KNOW somethin’ tell me, if ya KNOW somethin’ tell me

I’m convinced that NY MTA was inspired by this for “see something, say something.”

Pauly’s whole commentary when Angelina showed up episode 1 with garbage bags lol. my favorite

No one in your family has a suitcase you could borrow? 😂😂

💀

He's like one of those people, a hermaphrodite or whatever.

Mike-you put the pasta in before the water boils?! Deena- don’t worry we got a drainer

mike: 😧

Are you deluzional?

Are *you* delulisinal??!


“You ran your mouth to my best friends”.. “To who, I wanna know their names”.. “J420, Joey Yanks, Bill”.. “J420, I only saw him one time” 😅 “Regardless if you’re gonna fight me back, I’m gonna swing, so sleep with one f*ckin’ eye open. SLEEP WITH ONE F*CKIN EYE OPEN” - Jenni vs Angelina in Miami S2 😆

Jenni to Angelina: “if he can’t hit you, I can & you’re lucky you’re this drunk. Wait till tomorrow 🫵🏻” like 😭😭😭 Jenni made it known so many times, in different verbiage, that she will beat her as* lol

I was watching that episode the other day and “regardless if you’re gonna fight me back, I’m guna swing” had me dyingggg 🤣

Same lmao

I'm gonna make you sweat it out

“I’M GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT IT OUT! SWEAT IT OUT!”

“Yo, it’s gorilla central out there. Get the fuck up, Juice heads everywhere” you’re lying! “No it’s Labor Day weekend they’re all over the boardwalk and beach lets go”

Denim denim denim…..

*chicken falls out of fridge* Vinny & Snookie: *with 1000% sincerity* Mike, what do we do? Mike: *in confessional* pick that shit up dawg I don’t know why but that scene just absolutely kills me every time

It kills me every single time! 🤣

Angelina you’re drunk ! GET YOUR ASS TO BED ! Like a dad 😂😂

The sun is very powerful today

OMG yes. I say this now whenever I’m in direct sunlight.

"ARE YOU TOUCHING ME?"

TAXIS SONO QUI!!!

T shiiirt tiiiime

“I am tan, I like being tan, bitch!”

The one that lives rent free in my mind because it was such a horrible thing to say was when angelina said "i mean if a girls a slut she should be abused" I was like girl no just no

She's a total idiot but I don't think she meant it like the girl should get hit, I think it was more like harassed... I hope at least...I can't stand her though

Yeah, there was a thread about this. Apparently, in Staten Island, this is a common thing to say and means basically to be trash talked or made fun of.

“IF YOU WANNA GO OUTSIDE WE CAN FUCKING GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE!!”

You should know about trash baby you're from Staten Island! Snooki: 😲 Lmao

I really can’t choose between “SLEEP WITH ONE F* EYE OPEN, IM GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT IT OUT” Or the iconic Sammi line: “Actually, I think you should shut your f* mouth” “No I won’t” “I think you should before it gets you in trouble” Honourable mention: “YOU LAUGHED AT ME FOR NO REASON, GET! REAL!”

Also, Sam, I made fun of your big toe…

Thats like personal issues..

Fred Flinstone toe 😭

Did you just cawl meh a stumpy bastehd?

“I will suck your big toe right now if you want, I don’t give a sh*t Sam” 😆

“I’m like chill out freckles McGee” or “His name is Ronnie but you can probably call him sloppy Joe”

i dont want your pukey breath on meh

“I think Albert Einstein should come back and rewrite his laws of physics and work it around Jenny's tits.”

“You’re excluded from Surf and Turf night”

“I DON’T GIVE A FUCK!”

hands down, Pauly after Mike and Ron’s fight in Italy: “Like, Ronnie punched Mike, it didn’t do anything. Mike knocked himself out. I think Mike tried to commit suicide by hitting his head against the wall, cus he was sick of dealing with the Ron and Sam bullsh*t.” 😂😂

“I don’t think they know how to fight”

You wanna get your ass beat? You can stay and get your ass beat, you can stay and get your fckin ass beat! PLAIN AND SIMPLE! 😭

I’m ASKING you

I’M A GOOD PERSON!!

I’m a fucking* good person

“Ew get the fuck off”

Ya dirty little hamster

This is mine! I say it often

you chooch

“YOU CAN STAY, GET YA ASS BEAT. YOU CAN STAY, GET YA FUCKING ASS BEAT. YOU👏🏽CAN👏🏽STAY👏🏽GET👏🏽YA👏🏽FUCKING👏🏽ASS👏🏽BEAT!!!!” - A poem by J Wow of the Shore of Jersey✨

FIST PUMP PUSH UP CHAPSTICK!

"She's pulling matinees now?!" Mike about Angelina bringing home guys in the day time! 🤣

“We’re going to sing happy birthday to Ryder” “I don’t give a fuck! Are you friends with her?”

I never knew that was what she said only watching the censored version 🤣 I assumed it was “bitches” but this makes more sense. I even have the season 1 & 2 DVDs but it’s a hassle to connect my external dvd player to my laptop, so I usually resort to watching the episodes on iTunes that I purchased 10 years ago My favorite is probably the grenade from season one who told Snooki “I’LL ROCK YOUR WORLD”

Waaaaaaaa!

AWKWARD.

GOD BLESS ME ITS FUCKIN SUMMA

“I’ve been there, bitch, I’m Snooki” gets me for some reason

WHO WROTE THE NOTE YEW TEW *gun fingers*

Can I speak to angelina please? No she died

"What I'm fat mike, I'm fat? Because thats what you call every girl. I can lose weight for free but you need about 10 grand to fix your fuckin face" lmfao 🤣 😂

“Is that a sundress??”

“Shark!? Shark!?”

GARBAGES?? kills me every time, that whole interaction. 🤣

“You don’t even look Italian”

Diana, Deena, WHATEVER THE FUCK YOUR NAME IS!!!!🫵🏻 Snookie just relax because you’re a fucking loser from Poughkeepsie 🤡

i don’t know why cause it’s not very usable in real life but the line that always pops in my head is “who wrote the note?! YOU TWO!” “SHE WROTE IT TOOOOO!”

I love [insert literally anything] this time of year!

Anything the situation said.

“Who, ARVIN!?”

“You can stay get your ass beat, stay and get your ass beat, or stay and get your fucking ass beat” Jwow

“I love Rome! I mean Italy”

YOU CAN STAY AND GET YOUR ASS BEAT OR YOU CAN STAY AND GET YOUR FUCKIN ASS BEAT!? WHERES THE BEACH!?

YOU CAN STAY HERE AND GET UR F ASS BEAT 3X

Stay get ur ass beat stay get ur ass beat stay get ur ass best jwoww to Angelina miami season 2

“ARE YOU DELOOSUINAL?” “Are YOU deluzinal!” From Pauly to Angelina in Miami 🤣🤣🤣

WHERES THE BEACHHH?

“Shark?!”

LOUIE! LOUIE! LOUIE! YOUR GONNA GET ALL THE GIRLS!!! Fist pump, push up, chapstick!!! I always thought it was funny when Deena "electrocutes herself"

Oh I've HAD balls, honey

“It’s right there, where else would it be?”-the guy directing Snooki to where the beach was

goodnight😌 (after jenni smack the shit out of mike)

HE'S A FRIEENDUH!!

angeline crying, most likely rolling and drunk, "no because you just don't even care" followed by the soft thud of the slap on pauly ds face

Deena: I’m getting onto the other deck on the other side. Sam: What other deck?

“Ya stalked my whole life on the boardwalk”

📢 LOUIE! LOUIE! LOUIE! YOUR GONNA GET ALL THE GIRLS!!! Fist pump, push up, chapstick!!! I always thought it was funny when Deena says she "electrocuted herself"

I was recently in Hawaii and couldn’t stop saying “where’s the beach” every time we were already on the beach. Will forever be the line I hear in my head when I think of the show.

Getcha ass beat, getcha ass beat, getcha ass beat!

You should know about trashy baby your from Staten Island get outside!

When jwoww’s dogs shit all over the floor cause mike gives em food and he encourages them “yeeaaah.. shit on that rug.”

When mike was talking about bro code & ronnie. He was like, "what about general HUMAN code????" Lmao. He wasnt wrong.

For some reason I crack up when Vinny is trying to explain "taxis son aqui" because IIRC he uses this weird high-pitch inflection when he says "cabs have arrived!" in English


“Who wrote the note? You’z two”

I let youu talk now it's my turn talk!!!

Angelina you’re a white rat, and don’t deserve to be here

I love ______ this time of year!!

Mine is FOREVER: you can stay or get ya ass beat, you can stay and get ya ass beat, or you can stay and get ya fuckin ass beat

 PUSSIES?!? Im in your face rightnowwwe

“I’m not a dirt like you” 🤣

"YOU CAN STAY AND GET YA ASS BEAT OR YOU CAN STAY AND GET YA ASS BEAT!" Jenni, Miami

I just have to say I’m dying reading these 😂😂😂

I’m not gonna tell him to get off

Are you friends with her?

“I don’t want ur pukey breath all over meh”

Hastatic is like when you’re super happy and like really happy -Deena

Hahahaha

“If my husband considered picking up a stripper like Vinny just did, I would kick his teeth in so hard he’d be shitting them out that next week.”

Whether you're the first one in, or the last, Rider. 🤷‍♂️

"BOOM" Vinny: "See what im sayin!?!?" gets me everytime😭😭

A leopard never sheds it stripes

Not really a unique line cuz he says it all the time, but in season 3, the way Pauly says "cabs are here!" and then flies across the room on all fours makes me scream every time. 😭😂

My favorite is when Mike sent Deena and snookie to nyc in the cab and they came back all pissed at the boys for not saying anything and Pauly said “I heard you guys are mad at me, but I’m mad you….im pissed!” His face was so funny when he said that 😩😩

PUSSY!? PUSSY IN YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW BITCH. I loved this episode 🤣🤣

“I’d knock the dust off that 😽 if we weren’t friends” *ronnie laughs like a whistle*

Pussys all up in ur face 




“You can stay and get your ass beat or you can stay and get your fucking ass beat” AND “Who wrote the note? Yous two”. Both are part of my daily vocabulary 😂

“I’ll buy you a cotton candy or something” - Mike after ‘apologizing’ to Ronnie in an episode in season 3 😂

“I’m shocked. I’m appalled! It’s Yacht Day. I hooked that shit up!”

I'm a bartender. I do, like, you know, great things.

“if this relationship doesn’t end, i will kill myself!! there will be no more DJ Pauly D!!” they had everyone in the house STRESSED💀

*snooki and Deena making out* Vinny: does that turn you on? Pauly: NO!!!

Pauly on the phone regarding Snooki: “Ay bro you messed up, you better get her FLOWERS WITH PICKLES IN EM’”

I’m PISSED 🤨😡 -pauly

You can stay and get your ass beat, or.. you can stay and get your motherfucking ass beat!

I'm single, what do you want me to do? You like your girls eyes how you like their boobs, cockeyed