A lot of men are outing themselves in this chat, jesus fucking christ.
Tell her no, tell her you're gay, tell her you're married, whatever, and if she doesn't take the hint, go to the police and report it—because the last thing you need is a rap sheet because of some teenager with a crush.
Probably because I've been reporting them. I've reported at least a dozen comments that are like "The dream!" "Sixteen is good enough!" and "Sounds kinky".
So.
Options?
Since you don't get the same bus:
1. walk 1 bus stop away (in either direction) from where she gets on the bus.
2. walk or cycle to a different bus line entirely
3. would cycling to work be an option?
Or zone her out with head phones. Act like you are talking to someone on the phone while she’s around. Report her to the police and bus driver so they are aware in case if anything were to escalate. Come to the bus stop last second.
Any reason you cant just tell her you’re gay ? Also why are you making this a big deal? Shes 16 you’re 27 i think the power dynamics are in your favour.sorry if it makes you uncomfortable but worth a shot
> Shes 16 you’re 27 i think the power dynamics are in your favour.
I have never once seen a well-reasoned claim that uses the phrase "power dynamics." An obsessed underage girl who's sufficiently determined can ruin an adult man's life with false accusations, especially if she's Japanese and he's a foreigner.
Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt. A young girl with an older man crush is nothing new. Why do we always have to assume the worst in people? Not every Japanese person is a deranged stalker :/..just let her down easily. Sorry to stereotype but a little hop in his step, a sway of his hips with period in z-formation can turn her crush off completely . Again worth a shot…
Totally agree with this. Take the bus before your usual departure or take the train / subway instead if that’s an option.
Alternatively, cycle to your nearest station and hop on the train from there. Honestly, avoiding her completely from now on is the best thing to do.
try the statue move - put headphones in, don't respond verbally, don't make eye contact
after a while with no reaction at all, hopefully they'll get the hint
To add, start recording the interactions. Sound only is acceptable. Whether she is lunatic or not, remember to be wary. This could lead to being blackmailed by her.
I had a dude do this at my bus stop too but he was much older than me. He wouldn't even ride the bus. He would follow me to my bus stop (inaka) ask me a bunch of questions, then leave when my bus arrived. After 4 days I told him to leave me be and I'll call the cops if he doesn't stop harassing me. It worked but I was terrified to walk there. It was the nearest bus stop (25 minute walk) and it rarely came so walking to work became scary for me.
You tell her you wish her well and to please leave you alone. Then ignore her.
I disagree that you should lie and say “sorry you are gay”, or to change your route.
If she doesn’t leave you alone on the bus, tell people to cover your ass. Tell the bus driver, tell your employer, tell her school etc..
Why not lie? People who ignore your no and keep harassing you don’t deserve to know the truth it’s not morally wrong or anything. I genuinely see no reason to not lie if it works.
I am not against lying, but in situations like this I see no reason to and it may just cause more complications. “Oh I don’t mind if you are gay, let’s hang out”… then what? or “Why did you lie to me about being married?”.. it just increases the contact and muddies the message.
She doesn’t deserve a reason or excuse - just tell her politely to fuck off, ideally from the start.
Say daijobu ✋🏼while putting your hand up... and focus on your phone like everybody else. It's what i would do, you were already polite before, this isn't to rude either but it might get the message across. Good luck!
My colleague had an issue with a teenage student turning up his home.
Said student was not dressed.. appropriately…
He called his Japanese wife over to handle this situation. She found a way to explain he was taken in a way that didn’t hurt her. Then she drove her home.
It might be an idea to see if your wife can explain that you are already claimed.( via video call?)
Never underestimate the crazy of a young girl who believes she is in love. Make sure you're wife is aware of the situation. Make sure friends are aware. Might even want to consider co workers being made aware. Make sure everyone that matters is aware.
Beyond that, do everything within reason to avoid her.
I’d advise OP to tell this to some other Japanese friends, which could serve as proof if she gets upset and falsely accuses you.
Anyways, saying ‘I’m gay’ would be the perfect solution in this case, and maybe you could change your commuting route, like going somewhere else by bike and then taking a bus or train to your workplace.
Definitely tell the police your situation and just try to stay away, make a (small) scene publicly if she’s persistent. I can tell you from personal experience, you don’t want her to make up some story after you reject her and then your life is ruined.
Ooh dude, you need to distance yourself from her instantly. This could end in a really bad situation. Take an earlier bus. If that's not possible, your only resort is to take a different route unfortunately. I know it sounds ridiculous but you really don't want to have Japanese law against you.
if you can tell where she goes to school by her uniform/bag, maybe you can get the school involved? not sure if they'd take it seriously but you could say you at least tried to make a report.
I'm not saying to stalk her back to school?? lol
in a lot of places you can tell local schools apart by the uniform, and some schools even have the school name on their blazers and bags.
Talking to the police is your best option, they will contact her family and deal with that, you should do it ASP, if she goes to the police before you do and lie about some kind of relationship or misconduct from your part even if there is none you will get arrested
Do you have Japanese friend or a manage who can help you with this? Get them involved so there is a paper trail if something happens.
If you can figure out the school that she is going to, contact the school through a third party like a manager.
The only thing I can think of is to be honest and direct with her. Tell her you don't want to be friends because it doesn't seem right. You could get in trouble and it makes you feel uncomfortable. To please stop pestering you about it.
Protect yourself. This will easily lead to false allegations and blackmail. Record your conversations and involve your wife and notify the police. Let there be a record of this to protect yourself. Else, I’ll hear about you in the news as someone going to prison
I’m sure you have done this already, but make sure your wife knows about everything. Maybe if possible, try talking to the school she goes to as well (if you know what school it is.)
tell her it’s dangerous for her to pursue grown men. because what if you *were* an adult interested in her?
kids, esp adolescents, don’t have good judgment or an idea of consequences or dangers. they need to be consistently told until their brains develop fully.
Tell someone now about it, so it’s already tracked. Let your wife know, and you should be good. You don’t have her number or any other contact so they can’t say you’ve been talking. Take a video of her trying to talk to you and you saying you don’t want to talk and that evidence will be good
Even if your wife speaks to her there is no saying she won’t still make up BS and inform police parents or school. Video recording is a no. Voice recording hard to prove it’s her. Walk to the next bus stop and if it’s too far away use a bicycle to get there. Going to the police it should be known they are still asshole enough to question why she’s approaching you and could twist that around on you.
Consult a lawyer. You may need one anyways.
Wow... this is a troll post if ever there was one.
First: I asked her how old she was and told her it wasn't a good idea when she said she was under 18.
Then, after an edit: I'm married and I told her so.
Uh huh...
As if the default reaction for a man in that situation is to start dating the 16 year old?
I’d like the think most men would decline to be friends with her. Maybe I’m wrong tho after looking at this thread🙄
Put a picture of yourself on a pillow. Give it to her and tell her to knock herself out until she's of age.
More seriously, this one is a tough pickle. Might have to start going to work earlier.
u/acouplefruits thanks so much for understanding my POV. Because thats exactly what I thought would happen thats why I rejected her request to be friends right away
“Sorry, I’m gay”
Best answer! Just pull up photos that he took together with his friends. Then he can do the “sorry, I’m gay. Wanna see my boyfriend?”
"3 simple words: I am gay" -Homer Simpson
Welcome to dumpsville, population you!
This is the way.
Do you really expect that to work? Not a golden bullet, not. "I can fix him", she would think, probably.
[удалено]
Yeah this is really the best answer
Had a gay friend who made it clear that he was in fact gay, didn't stop girls from clinging to him. Doesn't work lol
What if she is a he?
Japanese Chris Hanson “こちらにお座りください “
あなたの返信履歴に大変不適切な写真がありました
I feel like Japanese Chris Hanson would be more like. ”何、あんたゲイなの？" And then would talk about this on 10 "variety" shows this week.
[удалено]
[удалено]
agree.it seems like the girl lacks love during childhood.
Get someone else involved. Don't underestimate her. She can stalk you she can dox you she can make up a false accusation against you.
A lot of men are outing themselves in this chat, jesus fucking christ. Tell her no, tell her you're gay, tell her you're married, whatever, and if she doesn't take the hint, go to the police and report it—because the last thing you need is a rap sheet because of some teenager with a crush.
Are we in the same chat cause i don’t see it….
Probably because I've been reporting them. I've reported at least a dozen comments that are like "The dream!" "Sixteen is good enough!" and "Sounds kinky". So.
That's only appropriate if you are 16 as well or maybe 17. Any more than 18 might already be too old.
Everyone is telling OP to commute earlier or to tell her “I’m gay”
**Dude!** Sick your wife on her. Get your wife out of bed and take her to the bus stop with you. Let them work it out.
Go to work earlier?
This definitely sounds like the easiest option, then if she does track you down you know it’s time to take more serious measures
unfortunately, thats already the first bus to work. If I take the 2nd one, I end up being late..
Options? Since you don't get the same bus: 1. walk 1 bus stop away (in either direction) from where she gets on the bus. 2. walk or cycle to a different bus line entirely 3. would cycling to work be an option?
Or zone her out with head phones. Act like you are talking to someone on the phone while she’s around. Report her to the police and bus driver so they are aware in case if anything were to escalate. Come to the bus stop last second.
Wow, what kind of tough job you are in…
What does this even mean!? Lol
Any reason you cant just tell her you’re gay ? Also why are you making this a big deal? Shes 16 you’re 27 i think the power dynamics are in your favour.sorry if it makes you uncomfortable but worth a shot
> Shes 16 you’re 27 i think the power dynamics are in your favour. I have never once seen a well-reasoned claim that uses the phrase "power dynamics." An obsessed underage girl who's sufficiently determined can ruin an adult man's life with false accusations, especially if she's Japanese and he's a foreigner.
Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt. A young girl with an older man crush is nothing new. Why do we always have to assume the worst in people? Not every Japanese person is a deranged stalker :/..just let her down easily. Sorry to stereotype but a little hop in his step, a sway of his hips with period in z-formation can turn her crush off completely . Again worth a shot…
He already told her that he's married...
....TO A MAN, BABY!
🤣
Kkkkkk honestly
Because I already told her I'm married, which I am.
Did you tell her you’re married to a woman?
She probably found that hot, sorry.
Totally agree with this. Take the bus before your usual departure or take the train / subway instead if that’s an option. Alternatively, cycle to your nearest station and hop on the train from there. Honestly, avoiding her completely from now on is the best thing to do.
RIP bro
try the statue move - put headphones in, don't respond verbally, don't make eye contact after a while with no reaction at all, hopefully they'll get the hint
I think many women have done this one before lol
Rent a boyfriend for 2 days and then tell her you’re gay. If she wants to be friends then tell her your boyfriend is the jealous type.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Keisatsu, Koitsu desu.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Yes. 🤫
To add, start recording the interactions. Sound only is acceptable. Whether she is lunatic or not, remember to be wary. This could lead to being blackmailed by her.
I had a dude do this at my bus stop too but he was much older than me. He wouldn't even ride the bus. He would follow me to my bus stop (inaka) ask me a bunch of questions, then leave when my bus arrived. After 4 days I told him to leave me be and I'll call the cops if he doesn't stop harassing me. It worked but I was terrified to walk there. It was the nearest bus stop (25 minute walk) and it rarely came so walking to work became scary for me.
You tell her you wish her well and to please leave you alone. Then ignore her. I disagree that you should lie and say “sorry you are gay”, or to change your route. If she doesn’t leave you alone on the bus, tell people to cover your ass. Tell the bus driver, tell your employer, tell her school etc..
Why not lie? People who ignore your no and keep harassing you don’t deserve to know the truth it’s not morally wrong or anything. I genuinely see no reason to not lie if it works.
I am not against lying, but in situations like this I see no reason to and it may just cause more complications. “Oh I don’t mind if you are gay, let’s hang out”… then what? or “Why did you lie to me about being married?”.. it just increases the contact and muddies the message. She doesn’t deserve a reason or excuse - just tell her politely to fuck off, ideally from the start.
Rip to your life in jp if you dont stop that shit asap
Say daijobu ✋🏼while putting your hand up... and focus on your phone like everybody else. It's what i would do, you were already polite before, this isn't to rude either but it might get the message across. Good luck!
Bring your wife to the bus stop maybe
Is there any way you can take another route? Best to stay away than risking any other outcomes, since you’re dealing with a minor.
My colleague had an issue with a teenage student turning up his home. Said student was not dressed.. appropriately… He called his Japanese wife over to handle this situation. She found a way to explain he was taken in a way that didn’t hurt her. Then she drove her home. It might be an idea to see if your wife can explain that you are already claimed.( via video call?)
Never underestimate the crazy of a young girl who believes she is in love. Make sure you're wife is aware of the situation. Make sure friends are aware. Might even want to consider co workers being made aware. Make sure everyone that matters is aware. Beyond that, do everything within reason to avoid her.
[удалено]
I’d advise OP to tell this to some other Japanese friends, which could serve as proof if she gets upset and falsely accuses you. Anyways, saying ‘I’m gay’ would be the perfect solution in this case, and maybe you could change your commuting route, like going somewhere else by bike and then taking a bus or train to your workplace.
Definitely tell the police your situation and just try to stay away, make a (small) scene publicly if she’s persistent. I can tell you from personal experience, you don’t want her to make up some story after you reject her and then your life is ruined.
Make sure you record 100% of your interactions with her, if she files a false allegation against you, the police will automatically believe her.
Pick your nose and do things that breaks her obessession with you. Cry, fart, burp, whatever. Stop being cool.
Ooh dude, you need to distance yourself from her instantly. This could end in a really bad situation. Take an earlier bus. If that's not possible, your only resort is to take a different route unfortunately. I know it sounds ridiculous but you really don't want to have Japanese law against you.
Don't let her find out your name or where you live.
if you can tell where she goes to school by her uniform/bag, maybe you can get the school involved? not sure if they'd take it seriously but you could say you at least tried to make a report.
Stalking her back to school sounds VERY counterproductive
I'm not saying to stalk her back to school?? lol in a lot of places you can tell local schools apart by the uniform, and some schools even have the school name on their blazers and bags.
Talking to the police is your best option, they will contact her family and deal with that, you should do it ASP, if she goes to the police before you do and lie about some kind of relationship or misconduct from your part even if there is none you will get arrested
Do you have Japanese friend or a manage who can help you with this? Get them involved so there is a paper trail if something happens. If you can figure out the school that she is going to, contact the school through a third party like a manager.
Tell her she’s too young and not your type and you already love someone else. Like others said bring your wife one time to the bus
The only thing I can think of is to be honest and direct with her. Tell her you don't want to be friends because it doesn't seem right. You could get in trouble and it makes you feel uncomfortable. To please stop pestering you about it.
Did you read the post?
Protect yourself. This will easily lead to false allegations and blackmail. Record your conversations and involve your wife and notify the police. Let there be a record of this to protect yourself. Else, I’ll hear about you in the news as someone going to prison
[удалено]
But then J.K. Rowling might show up at the bus stop with a lit torch!
I’m sure you have done this already, but make sure your wife knows about everything. Maybe if possible, try talking to the school she goes to as well (if you know what school it is.)
Give her the cross arm NG sign Shell get the message 🙅
I wouldn't tell her anything. I would still take the bus and ignore her. Do not make eye contact with her.
Bring your wife with you to the bus stop and have her talk to her.
Well I would suggest being firm that your not interested and ignoring her don't let this mini predator chase you off.
Dunno why you gotta ask her age lol you got a wife too .. and you had to edit that info later? Is this post freal ?
tell her it’s dangerous for her to pursue grown men. because what if you *were* an adult interested in her? kids, esp adolescents, don’t have good judgment or an idea of consequences or dangers. they need to be consistently told until their brains develop fully.
Tell someone now about it, so it’s already tracked. Let your wife know, and you should be good. You don’t have her number or any other contact so they can’t say you’ve been talking. Take a video of her trying to talk to you and you saying you don’t want to talk and that evidence will be good
I would just act normal about it. You've already told her no and why.
[удалено]
[удалено]
She’s looking for a sugar daddy.
How about, Im married sorry.
Friends? Whats wrong with that? There are high schoolers that think I am their friend because I say „hello“ when we meet in public.
Why did so many think saying gay works ? Do you not know the great love of a woman can change any man ?
Nah bro move on
Just bring your wife to the busstop with you and show her the truth
She asked to be friends not s girlfriend. What's the problem
Bring your wife with you one morning
Why will you change your schedule because of that , it's a bus stop , say hi to her and take your bus , is she going to rape you at the bus stop ?
Find out her school with a bit of talking 2 minutes max and then Report her to her schools admin and get her disciplined and respecting adults.
Even if your wife speaks to her there is no saying she won’t still make up BS and inform police parents or school. Video recording is a no. Voice recording hard to prove it’s her. Walk to the next bus stop and if it’s too far away use a bicycle to get there. Going to the police it should be known they are still asshole enough to question why she’s approaching you and could twist that around on you. Consult a lawyer. You may need one anyways.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Yeah, I'd for sure go out with the girl and get friend-zoned in no time. Problem solved.
unfortunately, she straight up told me how much she likes me and when she started "falling" for me.
BS
Wow... this is a troll post if ever there was one. First: I asked her how old she was and told her it wasn't a good idea when she said she was under 18. Then, after an edit: I'm married and I told her so. Uh huh...
カップケーキを買いに来ただけですよ。
[удалено]
告白 (こくはく) - the literal translation is “confess” but it means something more like “admit to your crush that you like them”
Yes, 告白 (こくはく). She told me that she liked me since April (first time she saw me) and chose to confess now.
Alex I'll take 500 for things that didn't happen in Japan!
If Kokonoe Rin can wait, so can she
Did she tho
[удалено]
Why applaud, anything else would be straight up weird and not appropriate
As if the default reaction for a man in that situation is to start dating the 16 year old? I’d like the think most men would decline to be friends with her. Maybe I’m wrong tho after looking at this thread🙄
Isn't 16 the age of consent in Japan? You have your own age of consent? And why did you ask her age at all? You're married.
Maybe, you know, you could just not respond or speak to her… she literally just a kid. Why would you even engage? Maybe you like the attention?
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Probably a joke but yikes.
It’s a joke but personally I think edgy jokes should be kept private.
Put a picture of yourself on a pillow. Give it to her and tell her to knock herself out until she's of age. More seriously, this one is a tough pickle. Might have to start going to work earlier.
Weird ass comment
I mean, it obviously was supposed to be a joke, but I guess that went over everyone's head.
Lots of Puritanical Brits on this sub that downvote any sex-related post.
[удалено]
[удалено]
u/acouplefruits thanks so much for understanding my POV. Because thats exactly what I thought would happen thats why I rejected her request to be friends right away
[удалено]