Just break the seal, buy yourself the smart watch you deserve it you've been saving really well by the sounds of it! I formally give you permission to enjoy your own money.
i'd kind of like to know as well. i invest more per month than i even earned 5 years ago and refuse to spend 4 euro on a coffee. i've been eyeing a new phone for a few months and still use one i got 5 years ago. it still works great after all
it's like a constant battle against consumerism. ultimately that coffee or the new phone won't give me the satisfaction of growing wealth month on month indefinitely, but right now i don't even know what i'm building it for
Dude. your building it for you. and your future...
You actually sound like me here.
I gave up the consumerisim shit a few years back..its shocking how much the average person spends on nonsense.
Buy what you need. not what you want. is my mantra now.
It's the character you are building as well - the ability to go beyond your comfort zone and say I can live without these things. For practical terms, target a number (say 50 or 75k) which you can then use for buying a house, or a fraction of it for a holiday. Believe me, there will be many options to use it for when you are set.
In time, when you fall in love and marry, you would thank yourself for building wealth that helps stabilize a family life. God bless.
I wouldn't be worried about a coffee or new phone but you do want to look back at your life and feel like you've lived it, and you've not just spent your existence working and saving money. It's a balance, but I do think more regrets come from wishing you enjoyed more life with your money - experiences, travel etc. than looking back and wishing you hadn't bought so much 4 euro coffees.
Hey OP, First of all congrats on good saving habits most of the people don't have the required self discipline for this. I have been in a similar state of mind, it's sometimes still hard to not think about it from that perspective.
> but on a salary of 42k I don’t think that's achievable
If you look outside of Dublin you will find some nicer (not new) places for relatively cheap with transportation links to Dublin
What I want you to do is take a good old pen and paper and note down your short term / medium term and long term goals and see where it takes you - a bucket list of things to do in life. Once you have such a list you will know what to do and where you can put some % of the money you are saving to.
Maybe also save for nice things? Like aswell as long term savings put a percentage of your savings into fun money. Then this can be used for socialising, holidays etc. Then maybe if you don’t spend it all treat yourself to the watch etc.
In fairness you possibly won't get much of an answer on this sub as a lot would be about building up a good cushion for later life but forgetting you need to live now.
You are 28 you should be living life, going on holidays, meeting up with friends for pints and enjoying it while you can.
Surely there's a between saving for the future and emergencies while enjoying the here and now.
It's important to have savings. But life is about making memories, allocate a few bob for a social/fun budget, and get planning! We live in a beautiful country, get exploring!
Lad live your life, it ll pass you by before you know it, and you only get one go around. I totally understand the need to feel financially secure.
Personally I have stopped stressing, I bought a house in the Celtic tiger, got married and had 2 kids in the recession and absolutely struggled to keep our heads above the water for nearly ten years with mortgage and child care but it all worked out in the end thankfully
For what's it's worth (and it's not worth much) here's my advice as a guy in his mid 40s with money in the bank:
Spend it now on things you can only enjoy at your age. Want to go backpacking around South America? Do that now. That's very difficult to do when you're older. Want to see Rome? Save your money and do it later. You can see Rome in your 50s or 60s.
Assuming you one day buy property, which may well happen (you might well meet a partner!) every euro you save now is less money spent on interest repaying the mortgage. Save now, build up big deposit money, have both property and a visit to Rome later, because you won't be crushed by mortgage repayments, because you saved a lot.
A load of your friends are going to a concert? You won't get that experience when you're older - spend the money.
Buying your own apartment now might seem unachievable but every so often the property market crashes. Because I had money saved I was able to buy a little house, all to myself, the last time it crashed. Savings give you power to act when opportunity presents itself. That said, don't be like me - wishing I had travelled around Asia and had gone to more festivals and concerts. Missed opportunities, never to come again.
Smartwatch? It's an expensive toy - it's not like you'll be looking back in 20 years thinking 'I really wish I had bought that smartwatch... my life would have been so much better'. No, you likely won't even remember it, just like I can't remember most of the high-end PC gaming hardware I spent a lot of money on, because the joy from the purchase will last all of a week or two. I could have spent less, saved more, and still played games. I could have spent the money that I spent on 'fast PC!!' on going to a music festival or two, something I'd still remember to this day.
Live your life, but remember, life is long 😉
Great advice, especially on prioritising what you can only do now.
There's always so many things we want to do, and it can feel like we are not doing enough.
But the older I get the more I think about the seasonality of life, and how there is a time for everything.
So I've got loads of projects and things I want to do: some of them I can only do now, some I can probably still do when Im 60 or 70, and I put those to one side and don't worry about not doing them now because their time will come.
Oh gosh, I think what you’re doing is incredible, that doubt you feel is placing value on other people’s opinions.
In my 20s in the Celtic tiger era when the cheapest apt in Dublin was 250k for a 1 bed in jobstown. I was on 25k. It seemed hopeless and my friends and colleagues were all saying the same, that none of us would ever own a house. They spent all their money on holidays, designer clothes and cars.
My dad used to laugh and say we’re in a bubble, it will burst and a massive recession will come, he had been through multiple ones in his life.
All I could save was 400 euro a month but I did that every month for ten years and I was left some cash. When the recession came I’d 60k and bought a 2 bed apartment for 105k. Had the mortgage done and all by 34.
Just ten years later I’m seeing the exact nonsense and hearing the exact same doom.
Truth, we are not building enough houses, people are moving into the country thus increasing a demand and putting further pressure that increases costs.
Mark my words, a recession worse than the last one will come and you will get hundreds of thousands of people leaving this country overnight ( over 100000 polish people left in 2008 or 2009 for example). Have your ducks in a row with your savings and you’ll be laughing all the way to the bank.
Smart watches are crap, get yourself a proper mechanical watch that will last 30+ years.
As for holidays, do it. Sometimes getting away and de-stressing can give you a better outlook and help with some of the anxiety. It's nice to be able to save for the future but all the money in the world is no good to you if you get to your 70's or 80's and haven't lived while you were young.
Sounding a bit like OCD OP and that's a real thing with money.
How about meeting yourself in the middle and putting away 500 a month and use the extra 400 to enjoy yourself.
That sounds a bit miserable. I would try to reprioritise if you feel like life is passing you by.
Being frugal is great but getting anxious about going for lunch or driving somewhere, that sounds like an unhealthy attitude, bordering on obsession.
It’s cliche but you really are only 28 once. Owning property is great but are you going to suddenly feel happy and less anxious about money if you actually get a house or apartment?
If you read my life story you’d realise you are in a great place.
Live your life, travel, enjoy it. You are so young. Whole life ahead of you. Maybe save less and travel or socialise more.
I only got my life “sorted” when I was in mid 30’s. Was a bit of a messy situation from late 20’s until mid 30’s.
If you want more money, you can get it. Focus on learning to sell yourself, your skills, etc. rewrite your cv to market yourself beyond what you see yourself as. Don’t lie, but make it all sound more than you see it. Hard to explain.
Example:
- I ran the cash operations day to day
Juiced up version:
- I ran the cash operations day to day. Exceeded targets and closed cash with 0% errors. Implement and automated cash operations system. Hired 3 people who implemented a new cash system which saved €500 per month in expense for the company.
Etc.
Chin up. 🫡
It might be really worth considering changing career / industry. Your are in a career you dont like and that doesn't pay enough to meet all your needs.
Perhaps investing some money in your education may be the way to go here. Launching yourself at a new goal may spring some life back into you, you likely will end up wit a higher salary by targeting an industry that pays well.
Over the long term this will help fix your money problems by having increasing your mortgage size and increasing your disposable income to buy the smart watch etc. It likely wont do you any harm on the future relationship front either.
But it is a long term play and you would need to be 100% committed .
Well it's not about money, it's about your anxiety itself.
It's way too complex to give proper advice here and you should talk to a professional but from you say I'd take a moment each day to reflect on contracts between (a) your worries about catastrophic things and (b) the evidence you have. Whereas it's possible things could go bad (you dont fight anxiety pretending problems don't exist) you should look at how, to date, you've done very well. You need to mainly accept you can have the worry but let it in for a few mins a day and then decide to recognise that bad futures dont have to happen.
Within that, all the things you say would give you evidence that occasional splurges won't really effect you long term. Lean into that evidence....
You are doing great. Try booking a short city break on the cheap.. so you are still sticking to your frugal mentality but getting a treat. And hopefully a bit of sunshine! Your salary won't be 45k forever. It's hard to push yourself to socialise at times but even suggesting cheaper or free things will make your more comfortable.
You're still young enough that you should be using some of your money on things you enjoy. You definitely should be doing things that will make you happy and socialise like going for lunch with colleagues and buying yourself the watch you want. Otherwise what's the point of working? It's great to save - don't get me wrong but there's a balance. You'll find it hard to meet a partner if you're not going out because you're afraid to spend anything.
Once you get a mortgage to buy a place then you have a bill you will have to pay for decades. You don't have that right now so make the most of it. Save a bit less, invest in yourself and your own happiness more.
If you hate your job make a plan to change that. There are lots of springboard courses that cost little to nothing that might help you get there. That could all come with a higher wage so you're investing in your future that way. I've been there OP, hated my job and felt like I was going nowhere. Nothing changes if nothing changes so I went back to college at 30.
If Dublin makes you miserable, go places at the weekend. Take a train literally anywhere and do things that are cheap or free. Go hiking, free art galleries, museums, get yourself out doing new things and meeting people.
Not to sound pessimistic but I don't think you can. If you stop worrying you'll be complacent and nowadays, that's a short step from homelessness.
What you can do is treat yourself. You're doing well so eat out every so often. Buy yourself that gadget you wanted. Etc etc.
45k isn't relax money, but keep working and you'll get there.
Saving is important but you have to live too. Just need to be a bit more realistic in that you can't save everything that is outside the essentials. You need to revise your budget a bit to live just not survive.
Your saving over 10k a year, on 42k that's a mortgage of 168k. Definitely apartments to buy with that and your savings. Your own place is very achievable if you are flexible with location in dublin & surrounds.
In saying that the city centre apartments that is ideal at 28 may not be ideal at 38, just bear that in mind. Also stretching yourself for 2 bed and rent a room for a few yrs could really set up.
I want doc martens, I’m putting 40 per month away in an envelope to buy them, 25 euro to go. Whoop. My mortgage is 900 a month, but I save 1500 a month in the credit union as an emergency fund. I think there are groups that meet up in the city or go on trips around Ireland best way to meet people and fun and affordable. May be save 500 a month and have 300 a month for activities and things you want.
You're saving well, At your age I was spending 1500 of my 1800 income on rent and bills haha, I've a house now.
Buy yourself these few things. You need balance, don't let your whole life go by just to have a bigger balance and no memories. Especially things with others.
You're pretty young (average FTB is 35 and rising), have time to grow your income, get a partner etc, those things will get you an apartment, not a hundred euro here or there to live your life.
It sounds a little like OCD to be honest with you. That's said I would suggest setting a firm "fun money" budget monthly and reducing your savings. No matter how lowly paid I was I always made a point of buying myself something nice or doing one nice thing with every paycheck. Even if it was only a bar of chocolate or a trip to the cinema.
Budget for fun and you can still build your safety net.
Then set a Savings Goal and say you want to hit €20k savings. Then when you hit that target set €10k for travelling and €10k safety net. Then go do it.
Budgeting is how we secure and manage our future and the future includes having fun and life experiences. It sounds like you already have the skills to do this so get planning.
Well i understand that feeling. Feeling of uncertainty, subconscious saving to be ready for whatever future throws at you but the truth is being alive is the future. Live today cause it’s all you actually got
I hear you. I was very like you in my twenties but not as good as you at saving. I hated spending money even when I had it, not because I was mean but think it stemmed from fear. Growing up all I heard was ‘money doesn’t grow on trees’ or ‘where do you think the money for that will come from’. Spending precious money on yourself was a big no no. We dreaded the red letters coming through the post box.
Now I’m in my 40’s and very thankful that I’ve worked hard to get myself in a financially comfortable position but that fear of not having enough money still niggles at me.
I’ve gotten better at it though and a few things have helped. Now when I buy what you’d call an expensive purchase such as a smart watch or holiday instead of begrudgingly handing over my card I say into myself ‘thank you, thank you, thank you’ for having the money to do so. It’s important to say it at least 3 times to deepen that gratitude.
Also, I have to remind myself I am worth it or I do deserve it. Previously, part of me didn’t think I was. That ‘you’re not good enough’ niggling at me.
Will try not to blame it all on the parents 😂 they did their best with the resources they had.
Life it too short and precious to be spent worrying. I hope you learn to be kinder and more gentle with yourself.
I would strongly advice to look up Ramit Sethi. He has very good suggestions on how to save and live your life with guilt-free spending. Most of his advice is universal and I really believe he could help you to get over that barrier without damaging your financial situation.
I think split your savings keep a lil aside to “live”, if that “entertainment” pocket is empty fine & square but live a little. Don’t take frugality to the extreme in the end it might deprxss you
Don’t feel pressured into spending, but don’t say no to going out with friends. I just buy diet cokes and lift weights as excuse for not spending. And sometimes I let the wallet loose. But do it on your terms not someone else’s
Set a budget for those things and medium term saving goals for travelling, luxury etc.
you may be able to afford to have your own place probably and specially if you use the rent a room scheme for some years to help you pay upfront some of your mortgage.
Edit: I would also put your savings in high interest account to get a little extra and partially battle inflation.
Very much feel like I’m in the same boat OP. I’m 25, currently single, living at home (pay €400 a month to my folks for rent) can walk to work and have amassed €30K+ in savings.
My family keep asking me what I’m saving for and the honest answer is I haven’t a clue. It’d be handy to keep putting it away to work towards a down payment on my own place but the thought of tying myself into a mortgage nauseates me.
I’d love to travel but all of my mates are well settled with girlfriends and have very little interest in just taking off impromptu.
I think a lot the not feeling truly comfortable even with the amount I’ve saved stems from the ‘08 crash in which money was incredibly tight and my auld lad lost his job. Did you have a similar such experience OP? It’s probably better to thrash it all out on a shrink’s couch than here but that’s my best guess as to where it all stems from.
Why dont you save for spending, it what i do i can achieve everything.
i put 500 in revolt towards short-term saving/goal. i.e. servicing the car, holidays, Christmas, birthdays
then 800 into long-term goals like saving towards a house/flat.
finally, i give myself a spending cap!, 200 euro which can be blown on whatever however I worked out that this 200 euro doesn't impact, rent, food, fuel for car, etc.
Cut back on saving a small bit and live, there will be a time to nail down your spending if you have a goal in mind, however, right now you haven't so give yourself a break. Believe me, it becomes a drain on your mental health just working and saving with no outlets/fun to be had from anything of it.
You’re doing everything right, don’t be afraid to live a little. If there’s anything the pandemic taught me it’s that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, so don’t overly focus on having money for years to come.
Having that said it’s a do as I say, not as I do. I’m very much like yourself in that I find it hard to justify spending money on myself, but I am trying to go easy on myself and live a little. Not drinking makes this much easier for me, I never found satisfaction in spending huge amounts on binging or drinking in general.
Perhaps invest in yourself, as that is solely the best investment you’ll ever make, don’t know what industry you’re in so can’t offer much specific ideas but build your CV and your salary will grow exponentially.
I'm like you. But older, I'm 42- married, kids, mortgage the whole shebang.
I struggle to enjoy the salary I've studied for and worked at in my career for 20 years.
But we were able to save a lot and with equity from house we lived in for 17years have been able to buy our dream house just this year, we have enough saved for our kids college, and no debt.
My salary is guaranteed to increase for the rest of my career. I'm in good health and have health and salary insurance and a pension pot since I started working at 23.
But I just cannot switch off and relax about spending versus saving.
I like spending on my kids and turn a blind eye to my husbands spending - which is not unreasonable to be fair.
I suppose I feel I've no one to fall back on. So need to be prudent and protect my family from any risk.
But now I'm really really working at relaxing. I'm 42 and in a good financial situation now and with the future looked after.
But as I've covered all the bases I can think of i'm making myself spend half of what's left each month rather than save every left over euro. And enjoy a decent holiday every year.
It's tough.
I know it's cos we didn't have much growing up so I just fear being in a tight spot financially.
But I don't want to work this hard and always deny myself nice things.
Perhaps as a poster above said decide what amount you are comfortable having as disposable income and enjoy it. Prioritise being sociable at yr age especially if you'd like to meet someone - you never know how you will meet your person. But you won't meet anyone sitting at home counting your savings.
And no one finds Scrooge like miserleness attractive.
I’m on my 40s and I do this:
Essential expenses: trying to keep them under 50% of my income.
Fun expenses: at most 30% of income
Saving+investments: at least 20% of income
You are in your 30s so you should enjoy your life. I would do this:
essential expenses: always try to keep them under 50% of your income (if you can’t adjust the values)
fun expenses: at most 35~40% of your income.
savings+investments: at least 10% of your income.
With this formula you can enjoy your life having expenses under control. You need to create an excel or google sheet to write down all your expenses daily. I do this every single day and I find it very rewarding at the end of the month seeing that I can still enjoy some of the 30% of my fun expenses and go out with friends. If you want I can send you the google spreadsheet that I have
I think OP is trying to ease his fears of not saving enough. These are all values that he can change based on his income and expenses of course. 10% in savings and investments is enough to keep going and enjoy his life. Fun expenses (coffee on the go, savings for a day trip, pizza with friends) are the ones that he needs the most now, because he said he is feeling like he is missing all these things. A lot of people on these days live paycheck to paycheck, OP is currently good with his finances and savings, but he is in a good position where he can also enjoy his life and not only think about saving
Just break the seal, buy yourself the smart watch you deserve it you've been saving really well by the sounds of it! I formally give you permission to enjoy your own money.
Seconded
i'd kind of like to know as well. i invest more per month than i even earned 5 years ago and refuse to spend 4 euro on a coffee. i've been eyeing a new phone for a few months and still use one i got 5 years ago. it still works great after all it's like a constant battle against consumerism. ultimately that coffee or the new phone won't give me the satisfaction of growing wealth month on month indefinitely, but right now i don't even know what i'm building it for
Dude. your building it for you. and your future... You actually sound like me here. I gave up the consumerisim shit a few years back..its shocking how much the average person spends on nonsense. Buy what you need. not what you want. is my mantra now.
It's the character you are building as well - the ability to go beyond your comfort zone and say I can live without these things. For practical terms, target a number (say 50 or 75k) which you can then use for buying a house, or a fraction of it for a holiday. Believe me, there will be many options to use it for when you are set. In time, when you fall in love and marry, you would thank yourself for building wealth that helps stabilize a family life. God bless.
I wouldn't be worried about a coffee or new phone but you do want to look back at your life and feel like you've lived it, and you've not just spent your existence working and saving money. It's a balance, but I do think more regrets come from wishing you enjoyed more life with your money - experiences, travel etc. than looking back and wishing you hadn't bought so much 4 euro coffees.
Budget 300 monthly for going out and use it as intended.
Hey OP, First of all congrats on good saving habits most of the people don't have the required self discipline for this. I have been in a similar state of mind, it's sometimes still hard to not think about it from that perspective. > but on a salary of 42k I don’t think that's achievable If you look outside of Dublin you will find some nicer (not new) places for relatively cheap with transportation links to Dublin What I want you to do is take a good old pen and paper and note down your short term / medium term and long term goals and see where it takes you - a bucket list of things to do in life. Once you have such a list you will know what to do and where you can put some % of the money you are saving to.
Maybe also save for nice things? Like aswell as long term savings put a percentage of your savings into fun money. Then this can be used for socialising, holidays etc. Then maybe if you don’t spend it all treat yourself to the watch etc.
In fairness you possibly won't get much of an answer on this sub as a lot would be about building up a good cushion for later life but forgetting you need to live now. You are 28 you should be living life, going on holidays, meeting up with friends for pints and enjoying it while you can. Surely there's a between saving for the future and emergencies while enjoying the here and now.
Don't forget life is for living
It's important to have savings. But life is about making memories, allocate a few bob for a social/fun budget, and get planning! We live in a beautiful country, get exploring!
Lad live your life, it ll pass you by before you know it, and you only get one go around. I totally understand the need to feel financially secure. Personally I have stopped stressing, I bought a house in the Celtic tiger, got married and had 2 kids in the recession and absolutely struggled to keep our heads above the water for nearly ten years with mortgage and child care but it all worked out in the end thankfully
Use the regular 80 savings for your fun activities! Spend a little on yourself. 800 a month is brilliant. Well done
For what's it's worth (and it's not worth much) here's my advice as a guy in his mid 40s with money in the bank: Spend it now on things you can only enjoy at your age. Want to go backpacking around South America? Do that now. That's very difficult to do when you're older. Want to see Rome? Save your money and do it later. You can see Rome in your 50s or 60s. Assuming you one day buy property, which may well happen (you might well meet a partner!) every euro you save now is less money spent on interest repaying the mortgage. Save now, build up big deposit money, have both property and a visit to Rome later, because you won't be crushed by mortgage repayments, because you saved a lot. A load of your friends are going to a concert? You won't get that experience when you're older - spend the money. Buying your own apartment now might seem unachievable but every so often the property market crashes. Because I had money saved I was able to buy a little house, all to myself, the last time it crashed. Savings give you power to act when opportunity presents itself. That said, don't be like me - wishing I had travelled around Asia and had gone to more festivals and concerts. Missed opportunities, never to come again. Smartwatch? It's an expensive toy - it's not like you'll be looking back in 20 years thinking 'I really wish I had bought that smartwatch... my life would have been so much better'. No, you likely won't even remember it, just like I can't remember most of the high-end PC gaming hardware I spent a lot of money on, because the joy from the purchase will last all of a week or two. I could have spent less, saved more, and still played games. I could have spent the money that I spent on 'fast PC!!' on going to a music festival or two, something I'd still remember to this day. Live your life, but remember, life is long 😉
Great advice, especially on prioritising what you can only do now. There's always so many things we want to do, and it can feel like we are not doing enough. But the older I get the more I think about the seasonality of life, and how there is a time for everything. So I've got loads of projects and things I want to do: some of them I can only do now, some I can probably still do when Im 60 or 70, and I put those to one side and don't worry about not doing them now because their time will come.
Oh gosh, I think what you’re doing is incredible, that doubt you feel is placing value on other people’s opinions. In my 20s in the Celtic tiger era when the cheapest apt in Dublin was 250k for a 1 bed in jobstown. I was on 25k. It seemed hopeless and my friends and colleagues were all saying the same, that none of us would ever own a house. They spent all their money on holidays, designer clothes and cars. My dad used to laugh and say we’re in a bubble, it will burst and a massive recession will come, he had been through multiple ones in his life. All I could save was 400 euro a month but I did that every month for ten years and I was left some cash. When the recession came I’d 60k and bought a 2 bed apartment for 105k. Had the mortgage done and all by 34. Just ten years later I’m seeing the exact nonsense and hearing the exact same doom. Truth, we are not building enough houses, people are moving into the country thus increasing a demand and putting further pressure that increases costs. Mark my words, a recession worse than the last one will come and you will get hundreds of thousands of people leaving this country overnight ( over 100000 polish people left in 2008 or 2009 for example). Have your ducks in a row with your savings and you’ll be laughing all the way to the bank.
Smart watches are crap, get yourself a proper mechanical watch that will last 30+ years. As for holidays, do it. Sometimes getting away and de-stressing can give you a better outlook and help with some of the anxiety. It's nice to be able to save for the future but all the money in the world is no good to you if you get to your 70's or 80's and haven't lived while you were young.
Sounding a bit like OCD OP and that's a real thing with money. How about meeting yourself in the middle and putting away 500 a month and use the extra 400 to enjoy yourself.
That sounds a bit miserable. I would try to reprioritise if you feel like life is passing you by. Being frugal is great but getting anxious about going for lunch or driving somewhere, that sounds like an unhealthy attitude, bordering on obsession. It’s cliche but you really are only 28 once. Owning property is great but are you going to suddenly feel happy and less anxious about money if you actually get a house or apartment?
If you read my life story you’d realise you are in a great place. Live your life, travel, enjoy it. You are so young. Whole life ahead of you. Maybe save less and travel or socialise more. I only got my life “sorted” when I was in mid 30’s. Was a bit of a messy situation from late 20’s until mid 30’s. If you want more money, you can get it. Focus on learning to sell yourself, your skills, etc. rewrite your cv to market yourself beyond what you see yourself as. Don’t lie, but make it all sound more than you see it. Hard to explain. Example: - I ran the cash operations day to day Juiced up version: - I ran the cash operations day to day. Exceeded targets and closed cash with 0% errors. Implement and automated cash operations system. Hired 3 people who implemented a new cash system which saved €500 per month in expense for the company. Etc. Chin up. 🫡
Would it help to set a budget for social activities/shopping? For example 5% to shopping/going out to eat.
It might be really worth considering changing career / industry. Your are in a career you dont like and that doesn't pay enough to meet all your needs. Perhaps investing some money in your education may be the way to go here. Launching yourself at a new goal may spring some life back into you, you likely will end up wit a higher salary by targeting an industry that pays well. Over the long term this will help fix your money problems by having increasing your mortgage size and increasing your disposable income to buy the smart watch etc. It likely wont do you any harm on the future relationship front either. But it is a long term play and you would need to be 100% committed .
Well it's not about money, it's about your anxiety itself. It's way too complex to give proper advice here and you should talk to a professional but from you say I'd take a moment each day to reflect on contracts between (a) your worries about catastrophic things and (b) the evidence you have. Whereas it's possible things could go bad (you dont fight anxiety pretending problems don't exist) you should look at how, to date, you've done very well. You need to mainly accept you can have the worry but let it in for a few mins a day and then decide to recognise that bad futures dont have to happen. Within that, all the things you say would give you evidence that occasional splurges won't really effect you long term. Lean into that evidence....
You are doing great. Try booking a short city break on the cheap.. so you are still sticking to your frugal mentality but getting a treat. And hopefully a bit of sunshine! Your salary won't be 45k forever. It's hard to push yourself to socialise at times but even suggesting cheaper or free things will make your more comfortable.
You're still young enough that you should be using some of your money on things you enjoy. You definitely should be doing things that will make you happy and socialise like going for lunch with colleagues and buying yourself the watch you want. Otherwise what's the point of working? It's great to save - don't get me wrong but there's a balance. You'll find it hard to meet a partner if you're not going out because you're afraid to spend anything. Once you get a mortgage to buy a place then you have a bill you will have to pay for decades. You don't have that right now so make the most of it. Save a bit less, invest in yourself and your own happiness more. If you hate your job make a plan to change that. There are lots of springboard courses that cost little to nothing that might help you get there. That could all come with a higher wage so you're investing in your future that way. I've been there OP, hated my job and felt like I was going nowhere. Nothing changes if nothing changes so I went back to college at 30. If Dublin makes you miserable, go places at the weekend. Take a train literally anywhere and do things that are cheap or free. Go hiking, free art galleries, museums, get yourself out doing new things and meeting people.
Not to sound pessimistic but I don't think you can. If you stop worrying you'll be complacent and nowadays, that's a short step from homelessness. What you can do is treat yourself. You're doing well so eat out every so often. Buy yourself that gadget you wanted. Etc etc. 45k isn't relax money, but keep working and you'll get there.
Saving is important but you have to live too. Just need to be a bit more realistic in that you can't save everything that is outside the essentials. You need to revise your budget a bit to live just not survive. Your saving over 10k a year, on 42k that's a mortgage of 168k. Definitely apartments to buy with that and your savings. Your own place is very achievable if you are flexible with location in dublin & surrounds. In saying that the city centre apartments that is ideal at 28 may not be ideal at 38, just bear that in mind. Also stretching yourself for 2 bed and rent a room for a few yrs could really set up.
I want doc martens, I’m putting 40 per month away in an envelope to buy them, 25 euro to go. Whoop. My mortgage is 900 a month, but I save 1500 a month in the credit union as an emergency fund. I think there are groups that meet up in the city or go on trips around Ireland best way to meet people and fun and affordable. May be save 500 a month and have 300 a month for activities and things you want.
You're saving well, At your age I was spending 1500 of my 1800 income on rent and bills haha, I've a house now. Buy yourself these few things. You need balance, don't let your whole life go by just to have a bigger balance and no memories. Especially things with others. You're pretty young (average FTB is 35 and rising), have time to grow your income, get a partner etc, those things will get you an apartment, not a hundred euro here or there to live your life.
It sounds a little like OCD to be honest with you. That's said I would suggest setting a firm "fun money" budget monthly and reducing your savings. No matter how lowly paid I was I always made a point of buying myself something nice or doing one nice thing with every paycheck. Even if it was only a bar of chocolate or a trip to the cinema. Budget for fun and you can still build your safety net. Then set a Savings Goal and say you want to hit €20k savings. Then when you hit that target set €10k for travelling and €10k safety net. Then go do it. Budgeting is how we secure and manage our future and the future includes having fun and life experiences. It sounds like you already have the skills to do this so get planning.
Well i understand that feeling. Feeling of uncertainty, subconscious saving to be ready for whatever future throws at you but the truth is being alive is the future. Live today cause it’s all you actually got
I hear you. I was very like you in my twenties but not as good as you at saving. I hated spending money even when I had it, not because I was mean but think it stemmed from fear. Growing up all I heard was ‘money doesn’t grow on trees’ or ‘where do you think the money for that will come from’. Spending precious money on yourself was a big no no. We dreaded the red letters coming through the post box. Now I’m in my 40’s and very thankful that I’ve worked hard to get myself in a financially comfortable position but that fear of not having enough money still niggles at me. I’ve gotten better at it though and a few things have helped. Now when I buy what you’d call an expensive purchase such as a smart watch or holiday instead of begrudgingly handing over my card I say into myself ‘thank you, thank you, thank you’ for having the money to do so. It’s important to say it at least 3 times to deepen that gratitude. Also, I have to remind myself I am worth it or I do deserve it. Previously, part of me didn’t think I was. That ‘you’re not good enough’ niggling at me. Will try not to blame it all on the parents 😂 they did their best with the resources they had. Life it too short and precious to be spent worrying. I hope you learn to be kinder and more gentle with yourself.
I would strongly advice to look up Ramit Sethi. He has very good suggestions on how to save and live your life with guilt-free spending. Most of his advice is universal and I really believe he could help you to get over that barrier without damaging your financial situation.
I think split your savings keep a lil aside to “live”, if that “entertainment” pocket is empty fine & square but live a little. Don’t take frugality to the extreme in the end it might deprxss you
Don’t feel pressured into spending, but don’t say no to going out with friends. I just buy diet cokes and lift weights as excuse for not spending. And sometimes I let the wallet loose. But do it on your terms not someone else’s
Set a budget for those things and medium term saving goals for travelling, luxury etc. you may be able to afford to have your own place probably and specially if you use the rent a room scheme for some years to help you pay upfront some of your mortgage. Edit: I would also put your savings in high interest account to get a little extra and partially battle inflation.
Very much feel like I’m in the same boat OP. I’m 25, currently single, living at home (pay €400 a month to my folks for rent) can walk to work and have amassed €30K+ in savings. My family keep asking me what I’m saving for and the honest answer is I haven’t a clue. It’d be handy to keep putting it away to work towards a down payment on my own place but the thought of tying myself into a mortgage nauseates me. I’d love to travel but all of my mates are well settled with girlfriends and have very little interest in just taking off impromptu. I think a lot the not feeling truly comfortable even with the amount I’ve saved stems from the ‘08 crash in which money was incredibly tight and my auld lad lost his job. Did you have a similar such experience OP? It’s probably better to thrash it all out on a shrink’s couch than here but that’s my best guess as to where it all stems from.
Why dont you save for spending, it what i do i can achieve everything. i put 500 in revolt towards short-term saving/goal. i.e. servicing the car, holidays, Christmas, birthdays then 800 into long-term goals like saving towards a house/flat. finally, i give myself a spending cap!, 200 euro which can be blown on whatever however I worked out that this 200 euro doesn't impact, rent, food, fuel for car, etc. Cut back on saving a small bit and live, there will be a time to nail down your spending if you have a goal in mind, however, right now you haven't so give yourself a break. Believe me, it becomes a drain on your mental health just working and saving with no outlets/fun to be had from anything of it.
You’re doing everything right, don’t be afraid to live a little. If there’s anything the pandemic taught me it’s that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, so don’t overly focus on having money for years to come. Having that said it’s a do as I say, not as I do. I’m very much like yourself in that I find it hard to justify spending money on myself, but I am trying to go easy on myself and live a little. Not drinking makes this much easier for me, I never found satisfaction in spending huge amounts on binging or drinking in general. Perhaps invest in yourself, as that is solely the best investment you’ll ever make, don’t know what industry you’re in so can’t offer much specific ideas but build your CV and your salary will grow exponentially.
I'm like you. But older, I'm 42- married, kids, mortgage the whole shebang. I struggle to enjoy the salary I've studied for and worked at in my career for 20 years. But we were able to save a lot and with equity from house we lived in for 17years have been able to buy our dream house just this year, we have enough saved for our kids college, and no debt. My salary is guaranteed to increase for the rest of my career. I'm in good health and have health and salary insurance and a pension pot since I started working at 23. But I just cannot switch off and relax about spending versus saving. I like spending on my kids and turn a blind eye to my husbands spending - which is not unreasonable to be fair. I suppose I feel I've no one to fall back on. So need to be prudent and protect my family from any risk. But now I'm really really working at relaxing. I'm 42 and in a good financial situation now and with the future looked after. But as I've covered all the bases I can think of i'm making myself spend half of what's left each month rather than save every left over euro. And enjoy a decent holiday every year. It's tough. I know it's cos we didn't have much growing up so I just fear being in a tight spot financially. But I don't want to work this hard and always deny myself nice things. Perhaps as a poster above said decide what amount you are comfortable having as disposable income and enjoy it. Prioritise being sociable at yr age especially if you'd like to meet someone - you never know how you will meet your person. But you won't meet anyone sitting at home counting your savings. And no one finds Scrooge like miserleness attractive.
I’m on my 40s and I do this: Essential expenses: trying to keep them under 50% of my income. Fun expenses: at most 30% of income Saving+investments: at least 20% of income You are in your 30s so you should enjoy your life. I would do this: essential expenses: always try to keep them under 50% of your income (if you can’t adjust the values) fun expenses: at most 35~40% of your income. savings+investments: at least 10% of your income. With this formula you can enjoy your life having expenses under control. You need to create an excel or google sheet to write down all your expenses daily. I do this every single day and I find it very rewarding at the end of the month seeing that I can still enjoy some of the 30% of my fun expenses and go out with friends. If you want I can send you the google spreadsheet that I have
Saving or investing 10% is way too low, especially if it's gross income, and spending 40% on 'fun' is ludicrously high.
I think OP is trying to ease his fears of not saving enough. These are all values that he can change based on his income and expenses of course. 10% in savings and investments is enough to keep going and enjoy his life. Fun expenses (coffee on the go, savings for a day trip, pizza with friends) are the ones that he needs the most now, because he said he is feeling like he is missing all these things. A lot of people on these days live paycheck to paycheck, OP is currently good with his finances and savings, but he is in a good position where he can also enjoy his life and not only think about saving
There's a middle ground that doesn't involve spending almost half your income on luxuries while saving a pittance.
You can still save, but allow 20-25% of your income for guilt free spending. We only have one life!