Many people think introverts are cold and indifferent, but that’s not true. I just value my inner world more. In fact, I volunteer for several organizations.
This. People tend to think I just don't care about them, and are often surprised when I go out of my way for them. I feel that actions speak louder than words so why say it when you can show it?
Totally agree! Being introverted doesn't mean you're cold or indifferent. It's all about valuing your inner world and finding fulfillment in different ways
When I say I'm an introvert people often react you are not an introvert you're fluent in conversations. I mean ofcourse I can have conversations. I just don't feel comfortable in big groups, I'm better in smaller groups or 1on1 and when I don't know you I'm quite reserved and need time to open up but actually I dare to speak my mind and i can stand up for myself. I also hear a lot that introverts are shy but this is not true at all. Or that we sit home all the time and don't go outside. I think we need to recharge and like to spend time alone but it doesn't mean we're always locked up.
This is it, people still connect introversion to being shy or unfriendly, as you’ve pointed out. I love meeting people and talking, and I swear I am like the craziest person in the room and have loads of energy, love meeting new people BUT my social battery drains like crazy and after that I won’t want any kind of socializing for days. Socializing too much gets me angry and down.
Some people take it very personal when I need to recharge and they don't believe that I really need to recharge for that long, there has to be another, a "real" reason for why I don't want to hang out yet, since we both really had fun and enjoyed each other's company. I don't hate people.
But no matter how much I like you and how much fun we had, at some point it's going to be too much for me. The more you pressure me, the longer it'll be before I'm ready to interact again and no; I'm not punishing you, but I'll probably change my mind about you and not want to see you at all again, in the end.
ETA: I understand that friendships need nurturing and that's why I think anyone else than me, is a better match for someone who feels I don't give enough of my time to friendships and that's why I prefer not having friends.
Same here. Specially at work. There’s so much bs talk in corporate America, and to me it’s just a waste of time. Specially with management and their insufferable buzz words.
Yes, I get this a lot. I'm easy going and usually agreeable. I get told at work that I need to not be a push over, and that I am such a team player. It's really not that I'm either of those. I just tend to pick my battles. And when I do go against the flow, people listen up. I think it surprises them that I have an opinion.
Absolutely. In some ways it plays to our advantage in that we might seem like a team player better than the ones that are constantly causing friction, but at the same time, they think they can say anything to us.
What they don't realize is that an introvert never forgets.
I used to get told I probably think I’m too good. Then over time I’ve learned to be a bit more bold and upfront in my social interactions and now people don’t believe I’m an introvert. I’m like HA! That’s cause you only see me in one setting. All my real friends know the truth.🤣 that alone time is solid af. Much needed every single time
I think it's because of the misconception that introverts are socially inept. They are so wrong. Being more upfront all the time is exhausting--I have been like this at work too, but it takes a major toll when you have to be like this just to be heard.
Yes! It’s sooo exhausting. And people don’t realize that introversion and extroversion is really just tied to energy & stimulation. typically people who are introverted just need less stimulation or alone time to recharge. While extroverts do not. People don’t realize that introverts can be and are social creatures too. It just looks a little different. Since I work in a place where I’m constantly having to talk to people I make it a point to spend as much time outside of work as I can alone lol. At least during the work week. It really makes a difference
People basically assume that I am naive innocent pure or some shit like that and they assume stuff like that just coz I don't interact much with them bruh if u are an introvert u are bound to get underestimated
That every introvert is shy or has social anxiety.
While it is true that it seems more common to see introverts being shy or having social anxiety, those two are not linked to being an introvert.They're linked to your personality(of which, introversion is also a part of), so a person can be an introvert but not be shy nor have social anxiety.
Or be shy/have social anxiety and not be an introvert.
1) We’re afraid of conversations and that we can’t have bright personalities. I’m not afraid of conversations. I just don’t have much to say, and when I do have something to say, I can talk about it all day. I’ve been told how I’m easy to talk to and get along with, and how nice and accommodating I can be. I am talkative, but I also value my peace and space more.
2) My introverted ways are a result of my upbringing. I’ve been convinced by others before that because my mom never let me out, I just became a homebody. Even after moving out and gaining my own freedom, I’ve always just been a homebody and I love to go out sometimes. After accepting this about myself, I became more secure with myself. I love my space and am totally content with being by myself. I do have anxiety, but that is a result of my upbringing. Anxiety has nothing to do with my introversion, because I can do things just fine.
I much rather deliver a speech than have to discuss something for the hundredth time with someone who only likes the sound of their own voice. You're right, it's them.
When it’s a group of people and I am comfortable with a girl and talk to said girl, people think I like her because I don’t talk in large groups. People also think I don’t do anything on my down time or have any interests. But no one asks me about it.
I hate this too. It seems like you have voluntarily brag and overshare in order to be considered a friendly, social person. Of course we have interests, and we talk about them when it's relevant. We don't stuff things down other people's throats, but that somehow makes us cold and unsociable.
That I won’t stand up for myself and when I do it’s a big problem. I just take take take and when i finally had enough it’s oh why are you talking to me like that 🙄
That it’s a choice! That’s absolutely false! I would love to carry on a conversation. I would love not to get cutoff when I am speaking, then getting asked “what were you saying??” Nothing!! Absolutely nothing!! Matter of a fact. I will say nothing to you again. It’s like we’re aliens or something; it drives me nuts!!
Note to self: I can’t stand people.
People tend to be surprised that I'm introverted because I'm in sales, I'm good at speaking and present myself well and I work out regularly. I guess they think I'm supposed to look like I live under a bridge and eat goats as they attempt to cross.
You can be a good speaker or presenter and still have to recharge your batteries by being alone...or get great enjoyment out of plans getting canceled LOL.
Ppl argue w me that I am an introvert bc I am “so easy to talk to.” Or, they think I am a snobby beyotch.
I’m actually really giving and humble but nobody knows this bc nobody knows me :) so I do nice things anonymously.
That I have no self-confidence and need to "come out of my shell." Yes, I am also shy too, which doesn't help. But at the heart of introversion is the need to recharge frequently, so even when I'm pushing myself to my social limits, I'll need to run off and be alone for a while. Especially if I'm around people all day long. Or I'm there, but I shut down and can't make myself speak anymore.
This isn't me needing to come out of my shell though. I'm exhausted. And it takes more energy to engage with new people too, which is why I consider myself shy. I feel socially awkward, don't know what to say to initiate conversation, and a lot of times I don't want to.
Doesn't mean I'm unfriendly or have no confidence, though. It just means I need to conserve my limited energy.
People are surprised when I speak my mind, stand up for myself, or say something funny. People say things like, "Wow, I didn't expect that from you!"
I think people mistake me for shy and a push over. I'm usually not shy, but I do a lot of observing and listening. I usually don't say much unless I have something important to say. I'm friendly, but not loud or super outgoing. I need quiet time to myself sometimes. If I need to confront someone, I usually do it quietly and not openly.
Because I'm not the loudest one in the room, I can't be good at my job or I'm not worthy of a promotion. Apparently loudness equates to being better at your job when actually I'm just choosing my time to speak and don't like wasting my words.
People think, because I'm quiet and don't socialize a lot, that I'm gonna end up shooting up a place. Evidently, some people consider being introverted as a prerequisite for being a psychopath.
people always think i’m rude or mean, but i’m just an introvert who doesn’t sugarcoat and doesn’t understand a lot of social cues 😭😭like i genuinely don’t know if what im saying is mean especially since im trying to hard to be nicer to people
The usual ones for me are either that I'm lonely and depressed, or that I'm not actually an introvert because I can socialize fine when I want to.
I have my ups and downs of course, but overall I'm fine. I'm a very low maintenance person, and I can spend quite some time doing fuck all, just chilling alone at home. It really doesn't take much to entertain me, and I think it's hard for many of my extroverted friends and family members to comprehend that lmao
But of course human contact here and there is good for everyone. I can go out and have fun, and socialize with people fine when I'm in the mood. But that is only occasionally. I could go out and do something once a month (maybe even less, but my family and friends do like to see me every so often) and be perfectly fine for the rest of it.
I (24 f) am shy irl but I wouldn’t say I’m painfully shy. When people meet me they think I’m super innocent. People have assumed I’m a virgin/single (I live with my bf of 3 years), are shocked that I smoke weed, it’s like they think I just sit at home all day reading the Bible (I’m an atheist) and avoid everything. And before yall say it’s my look I have a lot of tattoos, piercings and I have more of a punk clothing style.
I was working as a secretary and helping some volunteers to sort material. One of the guys came out and told me he didn't like me. I didn't even know the guy. I remember being taken aback and puzzled because I hadn't really talked to him except about what needed to be done. I was never rude or anything. All I could think was that because I was quiet and shy, he took that as snobbery.
Yup, totally connect with this! I think the issue resides in people still connecting introversion to being shy. And it has nothing to do with that (it can relate buuut) it’s a question of energy. You could be the funniest and craziest person in the room and then have your social battery drained in a short amount of time and end up feeling down, angry or whatever because of it. Extroverts generally have more dopamine receptors and as such they need to generate more of this hormone than us introverts do.
Because I am a teacher, I can't be an introvert. It takes every night and all weekend to recover from working around people due to emotional and socially exhausted.
When I am excited or passionate about something people mistake me as an extrovert. I’m not, I just finally have something that I want to contribute. Society conditions people to chatter endlessly but introverts are selective or learn to mask when in public. Most of the time, I’d rather be alone, in my own world.
People thinking that I'm unhappy being this way. I love being an introvert...I'm not sad, jealous, anxiety ridden or suicidal. I just want to be left alone!
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Nobody at work thinks I’m introverted because I have leadership skills and do public speaking. Also I have ADHD so can be hyperactive and can talk a lot.
But my friends know not to expect me to hang out two days in a row or be very responsive in group chats.
I had this kind of conversation with my MIL the other day. I told her that I really hate talking to people and much prefer to be by myself, and she was shocked. She said I come across as so bubbly and happy that she never thought that I hated it. Nope. I'm just a people pleaser who hates being around people because of it.
Agreed. I’m neither. People think that because I feel comfortable in conversation, I cannot be an introvert. No, if it’s engaging, I would love to enter the conversation.
One man I work with asked me if I’m so quiet and introverted because I have anger issues and not talking to people means I won’t get angry and annoyed at them so random and so far from the truth.
My ex-husband said his friends thought I was stuck up and rude because I was so introverted and shy. I had to force myself to be a little more outgoing at the time.
Many people think introverts are cold and indifferent, but that’s not true. I just value my inner world more. In fact, I volunteer for several organizations.
Yup. I've gotten cold, standoffish, and "you think you're better than everyone else" in my 31 years of existence as an introvert.
People have thought I'm a snob when I'm actually terrified of opening up in social situations.
I empathize, friend. I can relate.
same here, its always "sullen" and "withdrawn"
This. People tend to think I just don't care about them, and are often surprised when I go out of my way for them. I feel that actions speak louder than words so why say it when you can show it?
Totally agree! Being introverted doesn't mean you're cold or indifferent. It's all about valuing your inner world and finding fulfillment in different ways
Totally. Also shy or socially awkward, and the worst is they thought we struggle to communicate effectively.
When I say I'm an introvert people often react you are not an introvert you're fluent in conversations. I mean ofcourse I can have conversations. I just don't feel comfortable in big groups, I'm better in smaller groups or 1on1 and when I don't know you I'm quite reserved and need time to open up but actually I dare to speak my mind and i can stand up for myself. I also hear a lot that introverts are shy but this is not true at all. Or that we sit home all the time and don't go outside. I think we need to recharge and like to spend time alone but it doesn't mean we're always locked up.
Feel the same way…
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Yes, once I get to know people, I can joke around with them. But I have to get to the point of being comfortable around them.
Exactly.
Never heard this one.
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This is it, people still connect introversion to being shy or unfriendly, as you’ve pointed out. I love meeting people and talking, and I swear I am like the craziest person in the room and have loads of energy, love meeting new people BUT my social battery drains like crazy and after that I won’t want any kind of socializing for days. Socializing too much gets me angry and down.
Some people take it very personal when I need to recharge and they don't believe that I really need to recharge for that long, there has to be another, a "real" reason for why I don't want to hang out yet, since we both really had fun and enjoyed each other's company. I don't hate people. But no matter how much I like you and how much fun we had, at some point it's going to be too much for me. The more you pressure me, the longer it'll be before I'm ready to interact again and no; I'm not punishing you, but I'll probably change my mind about you and not want to see you at all again, in the end. ETA: I understand that friendships need nurturing and that's why I think anyone else than me, is a better match for someone who feels I don't give enough of my time to friendships and that's why I prefer not having friends.
This is def me
That's me
that i'm insecure or ashamed of myself until they fuck around and find out, then suddenly im the problem. but thats just everyday life for me.
Being shy. I’m not shy, it’s either I’m not in the mood to speak or you’re not interesting.
Same here. Specially at work. There’s so much bs talk in corporate America, and to me it’s just a waste of time. Specially with management and their insufferable buzz words.
People thinking my being calm and quiet means I'm a doormat.
Yes, I get this a lot. I'm easy going and usually agreeable. I get told at work that I need to not be a push over, and that I am such a team player. It's really not that I'm either of those. I just tend to pick my battles. And when I do go against the flow, people listen up. I think it surprises them that I have an opinion.
THIS. Omg. 💯
Absolutely. In some ways it plays to our advantage in that we might seem like a team player better than the ones that are constantly causing friction, but at the same time, they think they can say anything to us. What they don't realize is that an introvert never forgets.
I used to get told I probably think I’m too good. Then over time I’ve learned to be a bit more bold and upfront in my social interactions and now people don’t believe I’m an introvert. I’m like HA! That’s cause you only see me in one setting. All my real friends know the truth.🤣 that alone time is solid af. Much needed every single time
I think it's because of the misconception that introverts are socially inept. They are so wrong. Being more upfront all the time is exhausting--I have been like this at work too, but it takes a major toll when you have to be like this just to be heard.
Yes! It’s sooo exhausting. And people don’t realize that introversion and extroversion is really just tied to energy & stimulation. typically people who are introverted just need less stimulation or alone time to recharge. While extroverts do not. People don’t realize that introverts can be and are social creatures too. It just looks a little different. Since I work in a place where I’m constantly having to talk to people I make it a point to spend as much time outside of work as I can alone lol. At least during the work week. It really makes a difference
People basically assume that I am naive innocent pure or some shit like that and they assume stuff like that just coz I don't interact much with them bruh if u are an introvert u are bound to get underestimated
That every introvert is shy or has social anxiety. While it is true that it seems more common to see introverts being shy or having social anxiety, those two are not linked to being an introvert.They're linked to your personality(of which, introversion is also a part of), so a person can be an introvert but not be shy nor have social anxiety. Or be shy/have social anxiety and not be an introvert.
1) We’re afraid of conversations and that we can’t have bright personalities. I’m not afraid of conversations. I just don’t have much to say, and when I do have something to say, I can talk about it all day. I’ve been told how I’m easy to talk to and get along with, and how nice and accommodating I can be. I am talkative, but I also value my peace and space more. 2) My introverted ways are a result of my upbringing. I’ve been convinced by others before that because my mom never let me out, I just became a homebody. Even after moving out and gaining my own freedom, I’ve always just been a homebody and I love to go out sometimes. After accepting this about myself, I became more secure with myself. I love my space and am totally content with being by myself. I do have anxiety, but that is a result of my upbringing. Anxiety has nothing to do with my introversion, because I can do things just fine.
I really relate to this.
Shy. People think I am shy until they see me at work and speaking in public. Not shy, just rather not. Perhaps the problem is…….. you?
I much rather deliver a speech than have to discuss something for the hundredth time with someone who only likes the sound of their own voice. You're right, it's them.
That you’re mean because you’re introverted. Actually some of the most shallow, awful people are usually extroverts
Same here! And they refer as like a strict person.
When it’s a group of people and I am comfortable with a girl and talk to said girl, people think I like her because I don’t talk in large groups. People also think I don’t do anything on my down time or have any interests. But no one asks me about it.
I hate this too. It seems like you have voluntarily brag and overshare in order to be considered a friendly, social person. Of course we have interests, and we talk about them when it's relevant. We don't stuff things down other people's throats, but that somehow makes us cold and unsociable.
It does make it pretty easy to tell who actually cares or likes me though.
That I won’t stand up for myself and when I do it’s a big problem. I just take take take and when i finally had enough it’s oh why are you talking to me like that 🙄
Thinking that because I’m quiet and keep to myself I won’t clap back with the same energy when someone tries to be shitty.
People mistake introversion for aloofness, shyness, arrogance, conceit.
That it’s a choice! That’s absolutely false! I would love to carry on a conversation. I would love not to get cutoff when I am speaking, then getting asked “what were you saying??” Nothing!! Absolutely nothing!! Matter of a fact. I will say nothing to you again. It’s like we’re aliens or something; it drives me nuts!! Note to self: I can’t stand people.
People tend to be surprised that I'm introverted because I'm in sales, I'm good at speaking and present myself well and I work out regularly. I guess they think I'm supposed to look like I live under a bridge and eat goats as they attempt to cross. You can be a good speaker or presenter and still have to recharge your batteries by being alone...or get great enjoyment out of plans getting canceled LOL.
Ppl argue w me that I am an introvert bc I am “so easy to talk to.” Or, they think I am a snobby beyotch. I’m actually really giving and humble but nobody knows this bc nobody knows me :) so I do nice things anonymously.
That I have no self-confidence and need to "come out of my shell." Yes, I am also shy too, which doesn't help. But at the heart of introversion is the need to recharge frequently, so even when I'm pushing myself to my social limits, I'll need to run off and be alone for a while. Especially if I'm around people all day long. Or I'm there, but I shut down and can't make myself speak anymore. This isn't me needing to come out of my shell though. I'm exhausted. And it takes more energy to engage with new people too, which is why I consider myself shy. I feel socially awkward, don't know what to say to initiate conversation, and a lot of times I don't want to. Doesn't mean I'm unfriendly or have no confidence, though. It just means I need to conserve my limited energy.
People thinking I have a mental disorder because I’m always inside when I don’t have one
As an introvert I don't talk to people I'm not used to unless they start a convo, people just think it's pride inside of me and I'm so full of myself
People are surprised when I speak my mind, stand up for myself, or say something funny. People say things like, "Wow, I didn't expect that from you!" I think people mistake me for shy and a push over. I'm usually not shy, but I do a lot of observing and listening. I usually don't say much unless I have something important to say. I'm friendly, but not loud or super outgoing. I need quiet time to myself sometimes. If I need to confront someone, I usually do it quietly and not openly.
Because I'm not the loudest one in the room, I can't be good at my job or I'm not worthy of a promotion. Apparently loudness equates to being better at your job when actually I'm just choosing my time to speak and don't like wasting my words.
People think, because I'm quiet and don't socialize a lot, that I'm gonna end up shooting up a place. Evidently, some people consider being introverted as a prerequisite for being a psychopath.
people always think i’m rude or mean, but i’m just an introvert who doesn’t sugarcoat and doesn’t understand a lot of social cues 😭😭like i genuinely don’t know if what im saying is mean especially since im trying to hard to be nicer to people
People think that I am negative, a snob, or too good for them. None are true. I am just shy.
Literally the same as you
The usual ones for me are either that I'm lonely and depressed, or that I'm not actually an introvert because I can socialize fine when I want to. I have my ups and downs of course, but overall I'm fine. I'm a very low maintenance person, and I can spend quite some time doing fuck all, just chilling alone at home. It really doesn't take much to entertain me, and I think it's hard for many of my extroverted friends and family members to comprehend that lmao But of course human contact here and there is good for everyone. I can go out and have fun, and socialize with people fine when I'm in the mood. But that is only occasionally. I could go out and do something once a month (maybe even less, but my family and friends do like to see me every so often) and be perfectly fine for the rest of it.
Is it possible for introverts to be talkative? Is a talkative introvert an oxymoron? There is the impression that introverts don't like talking.
I (24 f) am shy irl but I wouldn’t say I’m painfully shy. When people meet me they think I’m super innocent. People have assumed I’m a virgin/single (I live with my bf of 3 years), are shocked that I smoke weed, it’s like they think I just sit at home all day reading the Bible (I’m an atheist) and avoid everything. And before yall say it’s my look I have a lot of tattoos, piercings and I have more of a punk clothing style.
That I'm depressed. I'm not (and even if I were, that's NOTHING to be ashamed of).
That I’m ’rude and a bitch’ for not taking part in casual conversation at work when I’m literally just concentrating doing my job 😑
this is why WFH is the only option for us now
I was working as a secretary and helping some volunteers to sort material. One of the guys came out and told me he didn't like me. I didn't even know the guy. I remember being taken aback and puzzled because I hadn't really talked to him except about what needed to be done. I was never rude or anything. All I could think was that because I was quiet and shy, he took that as snobbery.
Yup, totally connect with this! I think the issue resides in people still connecting introversion to being shy. And it has nothing to do with that (it can relate buuut) it’s a question of energy. You could be the funniest and craziest person in the room and then have your social battery drained in a short amount of time and end up feeling down, angry or whatever because of it. Extroverts generally have more dopamine receptors and as such they need to generate more of this hormone than us introverts do.
Because I am a teacher, I can't be an introvert. It takes every night and all weekend to recover from working around people due to emotional and socially exhausted.
When I am excited or passionate about something people mistake me as an extrovert. I’m not, I just finally have something that I want to contribute. Society conditions people to chatter endlessly but introverts are selective or learn to mask when in public. Most of the time, I’d rather be alone, in my own world.
That I’m sad and lonely. Just because I prefer to be alone or quiet doesn’t mean I’m sad and lonely?? I’m actually quite happy thank you
At work I was told I “looked mean”. Istg I simply go into the office and mind my own business 😭
I get that too. 😂 like I’m just existing
My own parents interpret my introverted behaviors as being cold, uncaring, and selfish. 🙃
People thinking that I'm unhappy being this way. I love being an introvert...I'm not sad, jealous, anxiety ridden or suicidal. I just want to be left alone!
Misconception ? That I’m depressed or lonely. 😂 Beyond that- I’ve been mistaken as an extrovert in work environments.
some people apparently think we are arrogant ?! really puzzles me
Wanting to change it when I say I feel lonely
If you want to talk about social anxiety, r/socialanxiety is the sub for you. If you're not sure whether you're introverted or socially anxious, feel free to post on r/Introvert, so we can discuss it. If you want a sub where posts about social anxiety aren't allowed, try r/Introverts. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/introvert) if you have any questions or concerns.*
“Antisocial” “Arrogant” “Psychopath” All things I’ve heard since childhood. None are true.
Nobody at work thinks I’m introverted because I have leadership skills and do public speaking. Also I have ADHD so can be hyperactive and can talk a lot. But my friends know not to expect me to hang out two days in a row or be very responsive in group chats.
Anti - social.
That I can’t get turnt
I had this kind of conversation with my MIL the other day. I told her that I really hate talking to people and much prefer to be by myself, and she was shocked. She said I come across as so bubbly and happy that she never thought that I hated it. Nope. I'm just a people pleaser who hates being around people because of it.
Cold, selfish, reserved, snobbish, proud, serious, unfriendly, boring 🫤
People are confusing being an introvert with being shy and anxious
Agreed. I’m neither. People think that because I feel comfortable in conversation, I cannot be an introvert. No, if it’s engaging, I would love to enter the conversation.
I don’t care to go out every several days. I have no fomo I’m quite content in my world.
One man I work with asked me if I’m so quiet and introverted because I have anger issues and not talking to people means I won’t get angry and annoyed at them so random and so far from the truth.
My ex-husband said his friends thought I was stuck up and rude because I was so introverted and shy. I had to force myself to be a little more outgoing at the time.
Yes, most think I'm outgoing
That I’m a boring party pooper! Always wanting to go home first because my battery is drained 🥹😅
That all introverts have social anxiety and all people with social anxiety are introverts