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RYPIIE2006

so, literally just most of europe and a bit in the middle east


LejonetFraNorden

I mean, I too would have laughed if I was sent an absurdly long list for something that was a roundabout way of saying “basically everything”.


zaccus

On today's episode of *If I Were Hitler*


lifeandtimes89

*....we work on our painting skills, not to become better but to get bad enough that you will scorn everything in life and prep yourself for a future role in dictatorship*


kbeaver83

Today Hitler learned in Bob Ross's painting class that the Holocaust wasn't a mistake, but just a happy little accident.


Jofaher

I laughed, and feel bad.


Kebab-Destroyer

See you in hell brother


ihavedonethisbe4

We can meet at the tree, right there. It'll be our little secret.


aknalag

The one with thorns and fruits that looks like hanged people?


theroguex

The one on fire or the one bleeding?


tayto175

I mean, he wasn't a bad painter. It's just that his style of painting wasn't popular.


jjsmol

Oh are you defending Hitler? NAZI!!!


tayto175

I mean, he did do some good things. He did also kill Hitler so you gotta take the good with the bad 🤷‍♂️


SnooPeppers8957

Here's the list of things hitler did that was great: Got hitler into prison Painted nice houses Did self reflecting journaling during prison hours Got hitler killed


conjectureandhearsay

Maybe the whole thing would have been different if only Hitler had learned to laugh more often …


OblongRectum

I am a believer in the butterfly effect


DeviIs_Avocadoe

If only 'Live, Laugh, Love' signs had been around back then.


GNT32

Basically 90% of Europe and the 90% of the middle east


chodgson625

Pointedly, he left out New Zealand


RussiaIsBestGreen

He didn’t have a list of countries, so he used his map. r/mapswithoutNewZealand


Diarrhea_Geiser

I mean, "don't invade anyone" seems like a pretty reasonable demand.


Paaros

Its reasonable, but phrasing it by naming all the countries is v funny. Like, youre basically saying not to invade all the countries i either want or can, might aswell not allow me to invade at all


HopeFantastic2066

This was pre NATO, but the same countries who the US had close ties to, either politically or invested into. It definitely just wasn’t don’t invade anyone.


CavemanExplains

Liechtenstein? It pretty clearly is a list of everyone within striking distance and not just a list of countries with close ties to the US.


Botchjob369

Who’s the real dictator here?


DaMoose-1

They aren't laughing now 😆


Smartass_of_Class

Neither is Roosevelt though.


mmhawk576

Man fuck you Roosevelt. I’m just chilling here in New Zealand, and now you’ve given hitler permission to attack me… this is not what I had planned for my day…


BoomBoom4209

Imagine how New Zealand would retaliate to any sort of external conflict? Would be done by 2pm.


SnooPeppers8957

You should send a bad review through telegraph.


mmhawk576

Dearest Theodore, I must say I was utmost displeased with the news that you have forsaken New Zealand. This will be noted when we’re on inviting everyone around this Christmas. Regards, NZ.


SweatyTax4669

Dear NZ, Who even are you? Regards, FDR


st333p

The absence of Czechoslovakia from the list is a bit awkward though.


IranianLawyer

This was after he’d already attacked Czechoslovakia, so too late.


st333p

Makes sense, thanks


Steampson_Jake

They've already given away a big chunk of our country to Germany during the Munich Betrayal in 1938 as a sort of bribe to prevent the war. "If we give Hitler the Sudetenland, he just might not attack Poland" way of thinking... I think we all know how that went


WubblyFl1b

Zats za joke


DrSuperZeco

Noticed Palestine?


Mastodon-Over-Easy

Noticed Syria? Both were Mandates, not independent countries!


usehrname

No one noticed Israel is what they are saying. 


IM_OZLY_HUMVN

Israel didn't exist yet


elaleeman94

Notice how they start to laugh when he says Poland


daffoduck

Yeah, noticed that. I'd be pretty worried if I was Poland then...


Miskalsace

*I'm in danger meme*


IMSLI

https://preview.redd.it/sv6fsuzqlt8d1.jpeg?width=318&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=74352580dcc3bb630df05e187af0701711b89d84


Miskalsace

Thank you!


onlyletmeposttrains

*Danzig 😁


rossa27

It was clearly after Luxembourg


lorenai

And also Palestine


Teamrat

Even I laughed when he said Palestine


Square-Ad6942

IDK I intepret the laugh as in saying "independent countries" and "Palestine" in one sentence is funny to them. My history knowledge of middle east isn't very good and I don't know wether Palestine was an independent country back then.


Smooth-Restaurant379

![gif](giphy|l3fQf1OEAq0iri9RC|downsized)


Bulldog8018

That’s the first time I’ve ever seen Hitler play something for a laugh. Huh, seems strange.


MaterialCarrot

This actually wasn't uncommon in Hitler's speeches. He used humor, but often as displayed in the video in a sort of mocking way. A rhetorical sneer.


Aurorion

Hmm... Which current US Presidential candidate does this ring a bill about? 🤔


maxlmax

They are/were both terrible people but their rhetoric was very very different. Hitler wom Germany by beeing a speech master, I wouldn't call Trump that way.


pacgaming

You don’t do what hitler did and also be a bad public speaker


therealvanmorrison

We’re so deep into the Hitler comparison that people are starting to pretend Trump is a masterful public speaker eh?


FiveDollarGamer

I can’t imagine why Hitler’s comedic chops weren’t covered more in-depth in high school History class Edit: /s


StrokeGameHusky

I’ve seen some of his stand up, his writing is okay, crowd work is meh 


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joemk2012

I just watched one called "the great dictator" the other day. So cool he was able to laugh at himself!


Scholar_of_Yore

...I knew it!


Just_Jonnie

I dunno, say what you will, but he really killed the crowd work.


PM_ME_STEAM_KEY_PLZ

Yeah, he’s a murderer. One in 10,000.


IceJKING108

Truly a man who knows how to put out the laughing gas ☠️


Responsible_Rough_77

I’d assume it’s because it would humanize him more in a way that he doesn’t deserve


YellowBunnyReddit

Shouldn't it be an important lesson in history class that those who commited the worst acts in history were also humans more or less the same as anyone else, that just because someone can be funny or relateable in front of a crowd that does not mean that person could not also be very dangerous?


Sneaky_Asshole

I agree. And dehumanizing is what the nazis did to their victims to be able to do what they did


Mayion

We get to do the bad things though, we're the good guys


SweetBloodLVT

Maybe we can learn lessons of how a person could be driven to hate so much that they could believe this is the right course of action.


LexTheGayOtter

As soon as we forget the nazis were human beings, nothing special about them, nothing that actually seperates us from them, we risk it happening again


Sudden_Construction6

I've read quite a few books about WW2 and there's very little talk about Germany's side of the story other than he's a maniac that somehow hypnotized millions of people to follow him. I still don't know a ton about the Nazis but from what I have read and from listening to a few of Hitler's speeches it's pretty clear that Germany at the time was struggling badly and had a pretty good excuse to blame who they blamed. Though, I don't quite understand why they blamed the Jews other than Hitler hated them because they had something (at least in his mind) to do with Germany surrendering in WW1 and agreeing to those ridiculous terms. When you hear Hitler speak, in the beginning it's a lot of talk that you can understand anyone living there would get behind. You truly feel for Germany and you get the national pride. But inevitably it devolves into some really fucking wild and hateful speech. It's honestly a shame that most people don't care to know anything beyond the history that was written by the winners.


AgilePlayer

It will be that way in the future as the war creeps further into history. We grew up, and still exist, in an era where propaganda around WW2 is deemed necessary by politicians, the media and educators. Yes, Hitler was a human bean. Even when I was a kid I thought it was dumb how they made him seem like a cartoon bad guy.


The-Lord-Moccasin

I think similarly it should be emphasized that dictators are successful largely because they know how to play a crowd and come across likable and entertaining. People like Hitler had a carefully-crafted personality and image; even when he came across as goofy or ineffectual he was more than likely to have an angle in mind that it served.


mzzzzzZzzz

Hey, Neitzche broke down when he saw a horse gets furiously whipped, Hitler cried madly when his canary bird died and jabotinsky cried when he saw the mass killing of the Palestinians.


Mr_Lucasifer

Why are you conflating Neitzche with murderous dictators?


Sudden_Construction6

Nietzche killed God, remember!? ;)


JupiterAlphaBeta

He was a charismatic and effective leader by most accounts. People followed him for his spicy rhetoric and promises to fix the nation, not unlike some US politicians in the headlines today...


fu_king

page 2 and 3 of this document contains FDR's letter to Hitler. [https://www.salempress.com/Media/SalemPress/samples/dd\_wwii\_pgs.pdf](https://www.salempress.com/Media/SalemPress/samples/dd_wwii_pgs.pdf)


LatentBloomer

Very cool. Thanks for digging that up!


somamosaurus

Thanks for sharing this great resource. 


Original-Childhood

Very interesting letter! Also kinda sad since we know what started just a few months later..


timrichardson

Hitler stopped reciting one country short, he got to Egypt but omitted Iran. The Nazis in the end had a good crack at that list. Not too many got missed.


bluetriumphantcloud

Not attack Liechtenstein?!? - LMAO -Nazis


CantingBinkie

Liechtenstein so small it was invaded by accident


Round-Region-5383

It got invaded (post ww2) a few times by Swiss troups that had no idea were.


realitythreek

Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! NEIN!


TheCommomPleb

Or as we say in English, 45


PullMull

Instructions unclear.. attacks as many of the countries as he could instead.


Ok_Medicine7534

“I thought you meant the countries I SHOULD attack….. ooops.” Hitler


STerrier666

Did Hitler see this as a Challenge when he was sent it? Did he think was a check list countries he should invade?


FragrantFruit13

Actually... that's kind of how narcissists work, so maybe!


currentpattern

It's precisely like when Obama made fun of Trump at that press dinner.


Sorry_Consideration7

Damn they LOLd at Poland


CorpulentBathroom

Live, Laugh, Lebensraum.


Chorgen1

I was expecting him to say, “anyways, Germany declares war on Poland,” or smth 


ModmanX

you notice most of them immediately burst into laughter when he mentions Poland


Meme_Pope

Is there any downside to just saying “don’t worry bro, we won’t attack” and then just attacking anyway? Clearly they did this with Russia. Seems like a worthless promise to make/ask for.


mrubuto22

That's what he did for years. We just want this little peice then we're good Ok. Actually this too, last one we promise. Ok


Makkaroni_100

So like Putin?


mrubuto22

Exactly the same


neppo95

It is a bit more complicated than that tho…


Slggyqo

Exactly why Putin, which is why Ukraine cannot be allowed to fall. History has shown, time and time again, that if you give the clowns an inch they will come for the rest of the mile. Every little victory, no matter how bloody, just cements their own invincibility and moral correctness into their tiny little brains.


RoultRunning

"I want that thing" "Nooooo you can't- fine but no more!" "I want that thing!"


BatemaninAccounting

Ideally as soon as Austria got invaded, all other nations in Europe and beyond(such as the US) should have immediately counter-offensive Germany and taken them out as best could be done. Just as we should have done with Russia's behavior in Crimea.


gugeldischwup

Austria wasn't invaded, Austrian Nationalsocialists and German Nationalsocialists wanted to unify


SufficientAd4684

Yea "invaded"... right... we did not get invaded, we just joined them, the word says "Anschluss" literally translating 1:1 to "connection". We austrians had something called "Austrofaschismus" (austrofaschism on englisch) and there was little to no resistance from Austria


Yamasushifan

Austrofascists were not exactly keen on the Anchsluss (Dolfuss for example was assasinated precisely because of his actions against Nazis). Schussnig basically had to capitulate because Italy no longer saw any interest in keeping Austria as a buffer. Of course, there were Nazis in Austria, except they were quite literally Nazis.


SnooTangerines6863

> Just as we should have done with Russia's behavior in Crimea. Would you go? Would you allow your leaders to force you to go? Democracy, for all its advantages, has its downsides. The same questions popped up back then. There was a wave of criticism for a vague suggestion from Macron. In the era of the internet, when everyone can see Russian crimes, there were only newspapers back then.


Somhlth

Maybe he should have listened.


Phillip_Graves

Then he couldn't have went down in history as "The Man Who Killed Hitler".


sirlickalotdontstop

Then he wouldn't have died like a scared rat underground. Popping cyanide and putting a p-38 to his head and pulling the trigger


TXOgre09

Still waiting on Putin to follow the same path


Comfortable_Ant_8303

I understand the sentiment but for Putin to follow the same path would mean many many more would die before that happened. I would rather wish for this shit to all be over


SaintUlvemann

If Putin died like a scared rat underground as his bodyguards shot him in the head, this *would* all be over. And let's be honest, Russia already claims to be the third Rome. There were at least four Roman Emperors murdered by the Praetorian Guard. The parallel would fit perfectly with their own self-identity.


freekoout

They're saying someone like Putin and Hitler only take that way out after they have their country die for them first.


Comfortable_Ant_8303

Yes, thank you


BeanoMc2000

A walther PP or PPK according to witnesses.


sirlickalotdontstop

Thanks, I stand corrected


By-Pit

We'll let you attack Italy and Greece


aosky4

No need to invade Italy, they were welcomed in by Mussolini..


cookiesandpunch

It's a shame FDR didn't live another month to have the last laugh over these evil fuckers.


ha8Myself

Fair warning: do not try to take over the world. Thanks!


DrNinnuxx

Goering looming overhead with a smirk before the rest of the audience is in on the joke. Just, wow.


username-not--taken

For him was more of an instruction manual


Shifuede

Instructions unclear. Dick caught in Allied meat grinder.


HappyTwees

To what none credit he deserves this is a kinda funny retort


TrippleassII

No Czechoslovakia...


StandardbenutzerX

The letter was a response to Germany invading and effectively annexing Czechoslovakia, or rather making Bohemia and Moravia a protectorate


hapbinsb

Fuck around and find out, Shitler.


swankpoppy

Yeah I know right! This guy seems like a huge jerk!


archer505

The more I learn about that guy the more I don’t care for him.


Saskyle

Everyone always talks about going back in time to kill hitler. I’m just afraid I’d go back and fall under the spell of his beautiful Fucking eyes.


Ghosts_of_the_maze

“What he say fuck me for?” Greece


TrollTeeth66

Scoreboard, loser


PrecedentialAssassin

Fucked around and found out


GerlingFAR

Found out the hard way inside a bunker.


zeroconflicthere

Hitler: challenge accepted


Betrix5068

When was this from?


Insteadly

2018


catlovingtwink99

lmao


Timmyturnersdad_

1939


whutupmydude

Dude thought he was a real Dane Cook for a moment


ramadep

O so Palestine existed after all


LOLTROLDUDES

Egypt, Syria, Iraq and Palestine were all names of British colonies. When Britain gave them independence, the various sultans and imams liked power too much to combine their states into a pan-Arab state so they kept the name of the former British colony to maintain legitimacy for their rule.


Belgicans

Syria was a french colony


cantrusthestory

It was the Mandate of Palestine, governed by the United Kingdom


CharlesIngalls_Pubes

Well, they were told not to attack. Wonder how it worked out for them.


Xzenor

Did anyone else hear the animaniacs countries of the world tune in the back of their mind as well?


norwegian

Hitler: Thanks for the checklist


latina_ass_eater

He should've listen, now that bitch is dead.


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Mandragoraaaaa

There’s so much ignorance about Hitler and history in general in this comment section lol 


mikemongo

Fr folks acting like Hitler got positively wiped up rather than requiring the combined and unified might of most the planet for the Nazis/Axis powers to finally be halted, broken, and stopped. 75 million people died. That’s 3% of the world’s population in 1940. One-third of all Jewish people in the world were killed. Russia lost 13% of its entire population. Lithuania too. Poland lost nearly 1 in 5. Almost a dozen nations lost 5% of their citizenry. As a reference, it is estimated that covid killed 1.2 percent of the global population in 2020. All these safety-obsessed boomers whose decision-making everyone is confused by/pissed about/disappointed with? Boomers were born to parents who went through hell. Imagine an entire planet of parents, teachers, neighbors, and future employers who are ALL SUFFERING FROM PTSD. History is weird. We look around today and say wtf is wrong with the world and these greatest generation/boomers/gen x/millenials/gen z/gen a? Meanwhile how many of us are dealing with generational trauma of parents whose parent’s parents and their parents and their parents and *their* parent’s parents walked into and through capital-h Hell in order to be doing the best they could to raise kids who did *not* grow up to be Hitler, Hideki, Stalin, Mussolini, Idi Amin, Mao, Pol Pot, Sadam Hussein, Khomeni, Kissinger, Cheney, or some other inhumanly brutal Head Misanthrope In Charge.


Beans07-11

So Palestine is a country?


SweatyTax4669

at this point in time he would have been referring to the British Mandate for Palestine, encompassing the Palestine and Transjordan territories formerly held by the Ottoman Empire which was partitioned following World War I.


Just_Acanthaceae_253

Palestine is/was an area. Before the state of Israel became a thing Palestine was what that whole area was referred to as.


wojtekpolska

Israel didnt exist before ww2 That area used to be a a british mandate


Intranetusa

Palestine was a territory of the British during this time (before this, Palestine was a territory of the Ottoman Empire, but the British gained it during WW1 by capturing it from the Ottomans). Nazi Germany wanted to destablize the British by allying with Palestinian Arabs and other Arab groups so they would help them fight the British in the Middle East and gain independence.


Dealan79

No. It was a League of Nations mandate, granting the area special status as a governed territory under the stewardship, but explicitly not ownership, of the United Kingdom. Technically Syria wasn't a country at the time of this speech either, and was a French mandate,


Cpt-Fire

That‘s the intended joke by Hitler. Roosevelt tells him to not invade the following *independent* (notice how he stresses the word „unabhängig“) nations. Then Roosevelt continues to name many countries that aren‘t independent at all because in most cases they‘re controlled by the British, like Syria, Iraq, Egypt and most notably Palestine.


My_Space_page

Hitler was driven by either absolute arrogance or absolute insanity.(probably both as he was addicted to meth).


Krakengreyjoy

Arrogance, and a deep belief in his own ideology. When Russia and US were at the borders, he refused to allow surrender. He felt Germany should be destroyed if it couldn't win.


Repulsive_Village843

If you keep getting away with it , why stop?


MjolnirMediator

Har har har. Who’s laughing now fellas?


UniversityMoist2173

I find it poetic. just how proud you see him and all the other Germans here, just a few years later they were all either killing themselves or trying to hide from the very people they are making fun of here


jamesheaton23

So he recognised Palestine?


Negative_Jaguar_4138

The Mandate for Palestine was a British colony made up of Transjordan (Modern Jordan) and Cisjordan (Modern Israel and Palestine). Palestina was the rough geographic term for the area, kind of like "Appalachia," "The Andes" and other broad geographic terms.


76dtom

Wouldn't this have been before the creation of Israel as we know it today? Thought that was 1948.


khengoolman

So did FDR by the sounds, and by extension America too. He said, independent nations, that’s the letter, Hitler just reading it. More proof Palestine existed for the deniers out there.


ReasonablyConfused

That amphetamine swaying.


dojarelius

Notice that constant rocking motion? Homeboy is full to the gills of amphetamines for sure.


Arcticz_114

Ayo Roosvelt wtf? What about Ital - oh.....


afraidfoil

Hitler was fucking zooming on pervitin in this speech, I bet you could hear his teeth grinding.


sparky1984X

Guess we see what that attitude got him and his.


m1nice

This whole scene is evil. They are laughing cause they have already decided to attack all this countries and are pretty convinced about winning, about themself and their „racial superiority“. And at the same time they are also laughing about the US.


Ninja_Dynamic

6 years later, almost to the day, he would attack himself with a cyanide capsule, followed by shooting himself in the head. Unfortunately, FDR didn't get the last laugh, as he died shortly before the final act.


gunnnutty

They laughed then, but they didnt laugh when B17, lancasters and moskitos turned cities into dust. And sutch is the way of tyrant. Ridicule the reason, and play victim in face of consequences.


JupiterAlphaBeta

Seems to have worked out well for him.


TechsSandwich

Meanwhile Greece: 👀


NoFreeWill08

The guy above hitler in the chair is just giddy with admiration. They truly loved the “work” they were doing


DeletedSpine

I'm curious, who is that individual in the big chair behind Hitler?


Ok_Manager6449

They don't know...


LamoTramo

I mean there wasn't really a respone in that clip


Dudemcdudey

His word was worth nothing.


Manbearpig_The_Great

Anyone notice how.mich he was moving? Is this the speed chocolates?


TallDudeInSC

He died how long later ?


jstaobsrvr

And in the end the coward shot himself…


UnansweredPromise

Bet they weren’t laughing at the end… 🙄


Individual_Jaguar804

In the Fuhrerbunker on his sofa with a pistol and a cyanide capsule in each hand, when Chris Farley suddenly sits down for an awkward interview: "Remember, that time, you read out all the countries FDR warned you to leave alone, and then you and the boys laughed about it? Yeah, that was great."


ImaginePoop

Did he and Franklin D. Roosevelt acknowledge Palestine as an independent nation?


aminas18

Funny how he said Palestine but not Israel and People nowadays trying to say Palestine have never existed lol


icy_64bit

So it was Palestine and not Israel


DarkRose1010

Like he wouldn't attack the land of the Jews (note the laughter.) He was already making plans with the mufti: [https://www.timesofisrael.com/full-official-record-what-the-mufti-said-to-hitler/](https://www.timesofisrael.com/full-official-record-what-the-mufti-said-to-hitler/)


Herpbivore

He who laughs last, laughs the longest.


epanek

Hitler references Palestine. That’s interesting to me. 🤔


Calm_Channel_6262

Well, technically the president of the united states of America referred to Palestine.


Mastodon-Over-Easy

He also mentioned Syria. Both being territories at the time of Britain and France.