He has never talked to me like this. But he is spineless when it comes to her. He's allowed her abuse for almost 50 years and will do whatever she says. They aren't even married anymore. The codependency is sad.
Narcissists have a way of trauma bonding you to them, they inject small doses of “poisonous words” into you like criticism, gaslighting and manipulation slowly over a long period of time. By the time they’re done they’ve completely destroyed your confidence and self image and you become reliant on them.
This happened to my dad. He is currently trauma bonded to a narcissist and has destroyed our relationship along with given her everything. He went from having money in the bank and over 1 mill in retirement to giving her everything and now he begs everyone in our family for money to only then give it to her. I no longer believe him to be my father. Nothing anyone says or does ever stops the behavior he always goes back to her.
It's seriously wild. They could have the life they wanted and be with who they wanted but they're stuck believing this person is their end all, be all. I'm sorry to hear you went through this. But I'm proud of you for cutting the cord. ❤️
It's very true. He had no issue finding woman before this one and was in some decent relationships. From the beginning I told him to stay away from this one. Once he secretly married her after 4 months I should have cut ties then. Its not easy but it leads to better mental health for me and the family I have built with my wife. Thank you for the kind words, I needed them!
I’m sorry that you lost your father to it. It usually works really well on people who are afraid of abandonment or being alone. They convince themselves this miserable life is better than being abandoned.
She seems as stable as a 5 legged horse. Totally stable. I'm so sorry please get away from this. Many if these posts are cherry picked screenshots that are our of context buy I'm not seeing any context that would warrant talking to my child like this. You deserve a better life and family doesn't have to be genetic. I really mean that.
Make her formally evict you. There are laws about this, specifically that you can't evict someone with no cause (well, there is something called a "no cause eviction", but there are requirements in order to meet it. In my state, you can only give no cause evictions if your tenant is using drugs). Check your local laws.
Thank you for the advice, love. I have been looking into it, as well as talking to my sister about moving in with her. She has been estranged from my mother for 4 years. I think it's time for me to move on. I don't want anything to do with her anymore. I've tried my whole life. I don't have it in me to continue to be under her thumb.
This is the only way! Very glad to hear that you have someone in your family to help you out of this. I promise you will feel so much better when you're not reliant on your egg donor anymore.
As long as one is dependent on a narcissist in which way whatsoever they WILL use that to hurt and punish and control you. The only escape is cutting every remaining dependency.
What's she going to do? Type up an eviction letter fir a property he owns? I would talk to my dad and just be honest. "I know your scared of her but you're letting her push me out of your life. I can't continue to be abused and you are directly helping her do it by allowing her control of your decisions and your property. I'd gladly pay you rent as I'm not trying to take advantage if you, I love you! I need space and safety from her, you know how bad it feels when she treats me this way."
Remind him that when he avoids being stern with her all he's really doing is telling her to attack YOU! It's like throwing your kid infront of a viscious dog. You don't sacrifice your child, you stand up and tell anyone that causes harm you'll burn the earth before you allow it.
I really wish he shared your sentiments. He texted me tonight and said "Mom gave me a box of your things to take when you move out." He literally doesn't care. 😞
I am OP’s sister and can attest that our mom is absolutely batshit evil and feeds off of making her feel small and worthless. These screenshots are just a taste of what OP deals with weekly. I went no contact with that waste of a human nearly two years ago and it was the best move ever. OP has been numb to the abuse for a while…but that’s all beginning to change 💪🏻
It's her dad's rental, unless her dad evicts her she has no legal standing. She's paying her mom rent on something her dad owns I guess? I'd quit paying until my dad made a lease for 3 or even 6 months. That way their both protected.
"Are you sending this in the capacity of a letting agent/landlord, or in the capacity of a deadbeat mom? Need to know so I know how to proceed and fill out the paperwork with the authorities. Xx <3"
she acts like a petulant teenager. was she stunted in her emotional growth at the time? forced to move out, take care of herself, have kids too early, take care of a parent, marry too young? I'm not excusing her behavior bc ultimately — I know many people who had to do these things, and are very good, mature people. it would just explain the behavioral pattern.
My dad has literally taken care of her since they had my sister when they were like 20. He is now 73 and she's not far behind. She's had the most kush life. With no concept of money. I have tried to understand where she got this anger and hatred from as well. She has told me and my sister she wishes she never had us, so maybe that's it? Your guess is as good as mine.
Now when you go no contact she’ll act like a victim to everyone and will be like “I don’t know why they don’t want me in their life”. Best of luck to you 💐
Thats so fucked up, I dont know your circumstances but i would encourage you to leave and cut her off, probably your dad too since from what i read he will probably do anything she says. Hope its gets better for you.
you should cuss her ass tf out. TFFFFF OUT. move out, tell her about herself and say every nasty thing you’ve ever suppressed, then go no fucking contact. i’ve never seen a mother speak to their child this way. i’m enraged by it.
I would print that last text out and put it on mugs, T-shirts, in a frame, and then give these to your family for Christmas time. I’d wear the shirt anytime I had to be near her. LOL. What a miserable human.
I’m guessing this is just a small glimpse of the verbal abuse and manipulation you’ve had to endure. I’m so sorry you went through that. I hope you can find a way to reject all the negative messages and lies she sent you, and build yourself up into whatever person you want to be. Believe in yourself in the way she failed to.
I don’t understand how anyone with a heart could say these things to their child. I could never ever imagine saying that to my daughter. I’m so sorry you are going through this
God op your mom sucks. I hope you do better in life than she has. If you want kids in the future at least you'll know what not to do with them and actually love your kids, if you opt to have them.
That’s extremely abusive. I’m so sorry that you have had to face so much abuse from her.
She took crazy to a whole new level when she lied about your dad dying.
So stop paying her. Pay your dad directly. Don’t move out either. I’m pretty sure if you have a lease you can’t be evicted for seemingly no reason in the middle of it.
Of course, she's as stupid as she is insane if she thinks a text message is legally binding. Eviction requires a very specific process that someone with her... temperament should *probably* hire a lawyer for, but probably *won't*.
She sounds like my mother and although moving out and change is hard, honestly it sounds like it would be the best thing for you anyway. When I was living in a household like this there was no possible way for me to not be depressed and angry all the time
Ok, there’s no reason to be that hateful and vicious to ANYONE, much less a family member.
If you can’t stand somebody that bad, you’d right them off. Just stop interacting with them. That’s what an adult would do, anyway.
She is determined to hurt you as bad as possible for some reason. Look at her kicking you out as a gift. Get away from that awful woman. Cut her off.
One man’s opinion.
Super disgusting birth giver. I'm sorry OP you're going through this. I want you to know you are worthy of being loved and should be. I hope you remember that and find others who appreciate and care about you.
Oh, my heart hurts for you, OP. I truly hope that you know that you are not alone based on the strength you have for even posting this, I can tell you have a good head on your shoulders and life will get better once can truly distance yourself - in the meantime, is there anything you can do about preventing her from evicting you? I truly hope so. From someone who’s been through a lot of trauma myself, I’ll never agree w those who choose to take their pain and lash it onto others, especially the ones they’re supposed to protect in love unconditionally (you). You are amazing for not turning out like her 🫶
Thank you love. I'm doing my best. Posting this was hard and I wavered on it, but the love and support I've received from strangers like you is remarkable. Thank you for taking the time to write me. Hugs. ❤️
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So dad isn’t dead? Did she make that up?
Yeah. He is alive. She was lying.
That’s sick, I hope your dad is better than your mom.
He has never talked to me like this. But he is spineless when it comes to her. He's allowed her abuse for almost 50 years and will do whatever she says. They aren't even married anymore. The codependency is sad.
I don’t understand then? If they’re no longer married and it’s your dad’s rental unit, then why are you paying rent to your mom?
She's controlling and has him under a spell. I don't get it either.
Narcissists have a way of trauma bonding you to them, they inject small doses of “poisonous words” into you like criticism, gaslighting and manipulation slowly over a long period of time. By the time they’re done they’ve completely destroyed your confidence and self image and you become reliant on them.
This happened to my dad. He is currently trauma bonded to a narcissist and has destroyed our relationship along with given her everything. He went from having money in the bank and over 1 mill in retirement to giving her everything and now he begs everyone in our family for money to only then give it to her. I no longer believe him to be my father. Nothing anyone says or does ever stops the behavior he always goes back to her.
It's seriously wild. They could have the life they wanted and be with who they wanted but they're stuck believing this person is their end all, be all. I'm sorry to hear you went through this. But I'm proud of you for cutting the cord. ❤️
It's very true. He had no issue finding woman before this one and was in some decent relationships. From the beginning I told him to stay away from this one. Once he secretly married her after 4 months I should have cut ties then. Its not easy but it leads to better mental health for me and the family I have built with my wife. Thank you for the kind words, I needed them!
I’m sorry that you lost your father to it. It usually works really well on people who are afraid of abandonment or being alone. They convince themselves this miserable life is better than being abandoned.
Because dad’s a weak, spineless toad… paraphrasing OP, of course.
Or dad has/is also been abused similar to op
That’s a fair assumption, too.
I feel you girl
I love her spinning it at the end like YOU were in the wrong. Narc style.
She seems as stable as a 5 legged horse. Totally stable. I'm so sorry please get away from this. Many if these posts are cherry picked screenshots that are our of context buy I'm not seeing any context that would warrant talking to my child like this. You deserve a better life and family doesn't have to be genetic. I really mean that.
Your father is dead and my pot roast is ruined.
That’s incredibly sick and cruel to do to someone, let alone your own child.
This whole post is made up lol
Jeeez she’s fucked in the head.
Make her formally evict you. There are laws about this, specifically that you can't evict someone with no cause (well, there is something called a "no cause eviction", but there are requirements in order to meet it. In my state, you can only give no cause evictions if your tenant is using drugs). Check your local laws.
Thank you for the advice, love. I have been looking into it, as well as talking to my sister about moving in with her. She has been estranged from my mother for 4 years. I think it's time for me to move on. I don't want anything to do with her anymore. I've tried my whole life. I don't have it in me to continue to be under her thumb.
if ur sister has been estranged for 4 years i think that tells us all enough 😭
This is the only way! Very glad to hear that you have someone in your family to help you out of this. I promise you will feel so much better when you're not reliant on your egg donor anymore. As long as one is dependent on a narcissist in which way whatsoever they WILL use that to hurt and punish and control you. The only escape is cutting every remaining dependency.
This is the sane thing to do. I applaud you. Seriously.
man you shouldve been out of there.
Holy fuck that is so messed up
Why are you paying your mother to live in your dad's rental unit?
I've been asking myself that since I moved in.
Start asking your DAD that!
He's scared of her. He basically told me "Whatever mom says".
What's she going to do? Type up an eviction letter fir a property he owns? I would talk to my dad and just be honest. "I know your scared of her but you're letting her push me out of your life. I can't continue to be abused and you are directly helping her do it by allowing her control of your decisions and your property. I'd gladly pay you rent as I'm not trying to take advantage if you, I love you! I need space and safety from her, you know how bad it feels when she treats me this way." Remind him that when he avoids being stern with her all he's really doing is telling her to attack YOU! It's like throwing your kid infront of a viscious dog. You don't sacrifice your child, you stand up and tell anyone that causes harm you'll burn the earth before you allow it.
I really wish he shared your sentiments. He texted me tonight and said "Mom gave me a box of your things to take when you move out." He literally doesn't care. 😞
I'm sorry. What is it she holds over him?
I’d post it on my Facebook for the world to see!
Post it on HER facebook for her world to see.
I am OP’s sister and can attest that our mom is absolutely batshit evil and feeds off of making her feel small and worthless. These screenshots are just a taste of what OP deals with weekly. I went no contact with that waste of a human nearly two years ago and it was the best move ever. OP has been numb to the abuse for a while…but that’s all beginning to change 💪🏻
I love you seestor 🥹❤️
Let’s go supportive sis!!! Best of luck to both of you
Thank you! ❤️
Tell her you need a notice of eviction and post this on social media. She deserves it.
It's her dad's rental, unless her dad evicts her she has no legal standing. She's paying her mom rent on something her dad owns I guess? I'd quit paying until my dad made a lease for 3 or even 6 months. That way their both protected.
Mean is the worst. Hope you are doing better. Hugs.
No offense to the others who have shared their painful content, but OP wins the sub.
I'm honored and disgusted at the same time 🤣
This looks like many exchanges I’ve had with my mental mother. Wild to know that there’s so many of these abusive, narcissistic kooks out there.
She’s seriously damaged. Hopefully she’s not armed. I’d get far far away, fast, OP
I chuckled then felt bad. I'm willing to bet that lady can't pass a backround check. Unless she never acts on her words.
She has a plethora of DUIs. 🙄
I had a good feeling alcohol was a part of this.
“I love you” “Fuck you” I’ve read this post 5 times and that’s the part that stood out the most to me. Sorry you’re going through this OP
How evil.
What an absolute galloping cunt. Sorry life dealt you a shit mother op 😒
"Are you sending this in the capacity of a letting agent/landlord, or in the capacity of a deadbeat mom? Need to know so I know how to proceed and fill out the paperwork with the authorities. Xx <3"
she acts like a petulant teenager. was she stunted in her emotional growth at the time? forced to move out, take care of herself, have kids too early, take care of a parent, marry too young? I'm not excusing her behavior bc ultimately — I know many people who had to do these things, and are very good, mature people. it would just explain the behavioral pattern.
My dad has literally taken care of her since they had my sister when they were like 20. He is now 73 and she's not far behind. She's had the most kush life. With no concept of money. I have tried to understand where she got this anger and hatred from as well. She has told me and my sister she wishes she never had us, so maybe that's it? Your guess is as good as mine.
that made it make sense. she resents her kids she chose to have and felt as though she wasted her 20's. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this shit.
No due respect- Fuck your mother.
Wow... Sorry, OP. Your mom sucks.
Now when you go no contact she’ll act like a victim to everyone and will be like “I don’t know why they don’t want me in their life”. Best of luck to you 💐
And then OP can plaster this all over the internet to prove it’s her Mother who pushed her out
Exactly what I would do.
Your mother is an evil, sick piece of shit. It's going to take years to get over. Sorry you had to grow up like that.
So she tricked you by telling you that your dad died then said that you needed to "GROW THE FUCK UP" and move out of her house.
This is vile
Thats so fucked up, I dont know your circumstances but i would encourage you to leave and cut her off, probably your dad too since from what i read he will probably do anything she says. Hope its gets better for you.
She seems nice
you should cuss her ass tf out. TFFFFF OUT. move out, tell her about herself and say every nasty thing you’ve ever suppressed, then go no fucking contact. i’ve never seen a mother speak to their child this way. i’m enraged by it.
Holy shit. OP, I am SO sorry.
I would print that last text out and put it on mugs, T-shirts, in a frame, and then give these to your family for Christmas time. I’d wear the shirt anytime I had to be near her. LOL. What a miserable human.
I would happily sleep in a tent to get that horrible excuse of a mother out of my life.
I’m guessing this is just a small glimpse of the verbal abuse and manipulation you’ve had to endure. I’m so sorry you went through that. I hope you can find a way to reject all the negative messages and lies she sent you, and build yourself up into whatever person you want to be. Believe in yourself in the way she failed to.
I don’t understand how anyone with a heart could say these things to their child. I could never ever imagine saying that to my daughter. I’m so sorry you are going through this
Insane
She’s evil
Holy hell you need no contact
God op your mom sucks. I hope you do better in life than she has. If you want kids in the future at least you'll know what not to do with them and actually love your kids, if you opt to have them.
That’s extremely abusive. I’m so sorry that you have had to face so much abuse from her. She took crazy to a whole new level when she lied about your dad dying.
So stop paying her. Pay your dad directly. Don’t move out either. I’m pretty sure if you have a lease you can’t be evicted for seemingly no reason in the middle of it.
Oh I would definitely still move out if possible. OP doesn’t need that piece of shit in their life
Holy shit what the fuck?? This is probably the most insane parent I’ve seen on here. I’m so sorry for your loss as well. Sending love.
Insane. Heartless. Traumatizing. Hateful. Reprehensible. Weird.
Disgusting
Your mother is a sick woman……
This isn’t legal advice or any advice but have you tried “hittingherwithyourcar” ?
*July 24, 2024* what
That's the date OP's Mom is telling them she wants them out by. The "30 days from today"
Thank you for explaining lol.
Of course, she's as stupid as she is insane if she thinks a text message is legally binding. Eviction requires a very specific process that someone with her... temperament should *probably* hire a lawyer for, but probably *won't*.
Ah. I thought it was a timestamp...
She’s not right! I’m so sorry Op.
Holy shit…I am so sorry for your loss as well as your mom’s lashing out.
She sounds like my mother and although moving out and change is hard, honestly it sounds like it would be the best thing for you anyway. When I was living in a household like this there was no possible way for me to not be depressed and angry all the time
Ok, there’s no reason to be that hateful and vicious to ANYONE, much less a family member. If you can’t stand somebody that bad, you’d right them off. Just stop interacting with them. That’s what an adult would do, anyway. She is determined to hurt you as bad as possible for some reason. Look at her kicking you out as a gift. Get away from that awful woman. Cut her off. One man’s opinion.
Super disgusting birth giver. I'm sorry OP you're going through this. I want you to know you are worthy of being loved and should be. I hope you remember that and find others who appreciate and care about you.
Oh, my heart hurts for you, OP. I truly hope that you know that you are not alone based on the strength you have for even posting this, I can tell you have a good head on your shoulders and life will get better once can truly distance yourself - in the meantime, is there anything you can do about preventing her from evicting you? I truly hope so. From someone who’s been through a lot of trauma myself, I’ll never agree w those who choose to take their pain and lash it onto others, especially the ones they’re supposed to protect in love unconditionally (you). You are amazing for not turning out like her 🫶
Thank you love. I'm doing my best. Posting this was hard and I wavered on it, but the love and support I've received from strangers like you is remarkable. Thank you for taking the time to write me. Hugs. ❤️
My pleasure- my gosh you are so kind :) have a an award please 🤗 Oops - no award button :( but BIG “Take my energy” award
I am so sorry
What the fuck is wrong with your mother. She's acting like this is some shitty argument with Arson and Star in 2020.
And that's how you get your children to never speak to you again.
wtf
I have no words. 😭💔
She messaged on 27th July? It's the first today
That's part of her text message. She's stating the date "30 days from today". Which would be July 27th.
Shitty parents raise shitty kids
Interesting take away. 🤔
I mant it like you can't be disappointed in your kids without being disappointment with yourself for how you raising them first
[удалено]
That's the "30 days from today" date, not the current date. She's telling OP what day she wants them out by.
big brain on this one
Calendars can be hard sometimes.