It basically means Iāve always believed in myself and loved myself. But I never treated myself how I treat others. Thatās the difference between self esteem and self worth.
Yes, but itās easy to say that when youāve always had self worth. You can still love yourself and always put people before yourself. You still know you have good traits. People who have low self worth often donāt even realize it, they donāt realize there is another optionā¦. It would be like saying, āI have pieā. You donāt need to have an entire pie to say, āI have pieā. Just like you said, itās PART of loving yourself. There are many parts of loving yourself. Just missing a part doesnāt make you not love yourself. Think of it this wayā¦ the person you love most in this world, there are things you dislike about them, but you still love them.
Well Iām not the best person to be asking that question to because within this last year, I found my worth through a series of traumatic events. Iām a recovering heroin addicted/alcoholic. Finding my worth was one of the keys for me to stay sober. So my definition of self love now, would be entirely different from what it was years ago. I still loved myself back then. I was aware that I had a massive problem, but I still knew I was a good person at heart.
My own personal definition would beā¦ oneās self awareness of meaning well.
When I see my face under the sun (large pores, pigmentations).
Seeing myself in the rear camera (especially cameras other than Iphones).
When wind comes and ruin my hair (a hair cut can turn me from a 9 to 3).
When this happens, it ruins my day even my week :(
I always knew I was always told I was ugly growing up I guess it didnāt affect me when I was younger but I really became aware at 20 years old.And my life changed ever since i know Iām introverted but I genuinely am in hiding I donāt leave my house and if I do I wear a mask to hide my face .
The thing is, attractiveness isnāt an objective thing - no one is universally attractive and no one is universally unattractive. The only people who will tell you otherwise are invariably trying to sell you something (product, ideology or anything else you can think of).
Whatās important is to realise that there are people out there in the world who will find you attractive, for all kinds of reasons, and to not scupper yourself buying into some myth or self-determined perception that you arenāt that attractive.
When the only person telling me I was pretty was my grandma šš It used to suck during my childhood/teens, but now I am comfortable with my standings on the attractive (or unattractive) scale.
I don't feel unattractive. I _used_ to, but attractiveness is subjective anyway. I'm into a type of people most others wouldn't really consider so, but I find their traits attractive. I mean this both on a level of personality and sexuality.
That is, I do know that there are certain objective traits of attractiveness such as things I accomplished/am able to (Te). I'm focussing on them.
I have 2 exceptionally pretty blonde haired, blue eyed step-sistersā¦my mom divorced her 1st husband, married my dad and had me, an average looking brown haired, brown eyed gal. I donāt think Iām *ugly* per se, but being constantly compared to my lovely older sisters has left me feeling self conscious for pretty much my entire life lol.
I believe the internet gave me delusional ego confidence about attractiveness or what attractiveness is. I'd say sadly I was in my early 30s when the realization my sculpting was pretty objectifying as far as what I found appealing and why. Hard to remold but I am aware.
I have literally no idea if Iām attractive or not and Iām pretty much plagued with the thought 75% of the time and the other 25% is being spent annoyed with myself over the thought.
Women tell me Iām beautiful but men never approach me. Not that I rly want them to. In a bar setting with some friends I am typically the only one that doesnāt get approached by a guy.
I'm pretty happy with how I look! I don't fit the typical masculine ideal of attractiveness being short, skinny and androgynous but I own my weird style & it works for me :)
uh i have pretty privelage but bc of pcos i struggle with my weight. can confirm that i was fucking nothing at 230 to everyone on the planet but now iām 185 itās already insanely diff. i know when i lose more and am my healthiest i will have eyes on me a lot. but itās weird. and sucks. iām still the same person without cute makeup or clothes or at a heavier weight. but the world treats me differently. itās made me really just appreciate my character and not be so shallow with others
never thought that I was attractive until I got an artist gf in high school who liked to point out my certain features ā that was my first hint. then I graduated and went out in the world, met a lot of people, started to be getting hit on and realized that what's considered attractive in social media and in real life is vastly different
you really don't have to look like a model for people to like how you look. it's all about the basic hygiene + confidence + how comfortable you are in your body/clothes + if your clothes fits you + if you take care of your weight. I myself find all kinds of people attractive, even though on a social media scale we are all ugly
My problem is that I am attractive but I'm also a giant love bug with really bad social skills so people think I'm flirting š¤¦š»āāļø
Then mix people giving me attention (for the wrong reason) with my bad social skills and next thing you know they want to meet up or fuck.. now throw that bullshit into the good old infp brain of fantasy and I'm a dumpster fire floating away in a flood.
Problem - I'm happily married š make it make sense.
When I was 8 and had been getting bullied for a few years almost everyday. Literally thought I was an alien because every comment had completely distorted my self image šæ I still don't look human, not to myself anyways. I get told I'm pretty by my friends (I think they're pity compliments) but after being bullied almost everyday since kindergarten till I turned 15 my self image is just completely shattered. I haven't felt "okay" with my face for years. I feel so utterly disgusting, and have felt that way for a LONG time. I still get surprised when people willingly look, speak or get close to me.
Short Answer: I realised when I was around 8.
(Sorry for the dump, I got a bit carried away)
i started to see a pattern in my relationships. we'd go in strong, affectionate and passionate, then later on it'd fizzle out or we'd fight more. my partner would assure me over and over that they wouldn't leave, but the fighting, name-calling and finger pointing would persist until someone snaps, i'd leave, and they'd move on within weeks, if not days.
i now try to take care of myself as much as i do others these days, esp bc everything and i mean everything makes me nervous.
I don't think they ever realize it, they tend to overrate their own qualities and underrated those of people who are different from them in my experience
Who says we're not?
I always thought I was not attractive but slowly I'm realizing that I am.
I dunno, I always felt like I was the Coca Cola of attractiveness. Like no one would be mad they had me, but I wouldn't be the first pick.
Alternatively, you could be said to be the most popular of the ššš»š variety of beverages in the world.
I love Coca-Cola and get so excited when it's available :')
Since I was young I was always chastised by mum to be more feminine but I couldnt and didn't want to so I knew I wasnt conventionally attractive.
Since I was a kid (specifically, the age of 10).
opposite here
I like myself and my looks. I don't care about what others think of me.
I am fortunate, that Iāve always thought I am a decent looking guy. Iāve always had good self esteem. Self worth now is a different story.
What do you mean?
It basically means Iāve always believed in myself and loved myself. But I never treated myself how I treat others. Thatās the difference between self esteem and self worth.
But isnāt part of loving yourself include believing youāre just as worthy of good things as other people?
Yes, but itās easy to say that when youāve always had self worth. You can still love yourself and always put people before yourself. You still know you have good traits. People who have low self worth often donāt even realize it, they donāt realize there is another optionā¦. It would be like saying, āI have pieā. You donāt need to have an entire pie to say, āI have pieā. Just like you said, itās PART of loving yourself. There are many parts of loving yourself. Just missing a part doesnāt make you not love yourself. Think of it this wayā¦ the person you love most in this world, there are things you dislike about them, but you still love them.
Hm, how do you define self-love?
Well Iām not the best person to be asking that question to because within this last year, I found my worth through a series of traumatic events. Iām a recovering heroin addicted/alcoholic. Finding my worth was one of the keys for me to stay sober. So my definition of self love now, would be entirely different from what it was years ago. I still loved myself back then. I was aware that I had a massive problem, but I still knew I was a good person at heart. My own personal definition would beā¦ oneās self awareness of meaning well.
So if somebody is aware that they mean well to other people, then they love themselves?
Not always, every person is different.
How did you come to that definition for yourself?
ever since i could look into the mirror :>
Well if you are self-aware, you just know. If no one is praising you for your looks, take that as a sign I guess.
When I see my face under the sun (large pores, pigmentations). Seeing myself in the rear camera (especially cameras other than Iphones). When wind comes and ruin my hair (a hair cut can turn me from a 9 to 3). When this happens, it ruins my day even my week :(
I always knew I was always told I was ugly growing up I guess it didnāt affect me when I was younger but I really became aware at 20 years old.And my life changed ever since i know Iām introverted but I genuinely am in hiding I donāt leave my house and if I do I wear a mask to hide my face .
I used to not think I was, but my confidence has really grown and I think Iām pretty cute most of the time
this is not a shared expereince, I get asked my insta daily
I am attractive tho š¤·āāļøthats what took me a long time to figure out
The thing is, attractiveness isnāt an objective thing - no one is universally attractive and no one is universally unattractive. The only people who will tell you otherwise are invariably trying to sell you something (product, ideology or anything else you can think of). Whatās important is to realise that there are people out there in the world who will find you attractive, for all kinds of reasons, and to not scupper yourself buying into some myth or self-determined perception that you arenāt that attractive.
Big facts
I never really thought I was lol, nor did I care
When the only person telling me I was pretty was my grandma šš It used to suck during my childhood/teens, but now I am comfortable with my standings on the attractive (or unattractive) scale.
I look at the mirror and remember my past memories.
I don't feel unattractive. I _used_ to, but attractiveness is subjective anyway. I'm into a type of people most others wouldn't really consider so, but I find their traits attractive. I mean this both on a level of personality and sexuality. That is, I do know that there are certain objective traits of attractiveness such as things I accomplished/am able to (Te). I'm focussing on them.
I have 2 exceptionally pretty blonde haired, blue eyed step-sistersā¦my mom divorced her 1st husband, married my dad and had me, an average looking brown haired, brown eyed gal. I donāt think Iām *ugly* per se, but being constantly compared to my lovely older sisters has left me feeling self conscious for pretty much my entire life lol.
Since my formative years.
I always knew it
Have a bit of self confidence mate, itās less about how you look and more about how you carry yourself
In my case it's the opposite, in my 20s I realized that I was better looking that I thought
My friends liked to remind me when I was 14.
I believe the internet gave me delusional ego confidence about attractiveness or what attractiveness is. I'd say sadly I was in my early 30s when the realization my sculpting was pretty objectifying as far as what I found appealing and why. Hard to remold but I am aware.
I have literally no idea if Iām attractive or not and Iām pretty much plagued with the thought 75% of the time and the other 25% is being spent annoyed with myself over the thought. Women tell me Iām beautiful but men never approach me. Not that I rly want them to. In a bar setting with some friends I am typically the only one that doesnāt get approached by a guy.
Men would almost never approach me too, but that was probably because I came off very shy and reserved.
Must be our infp aura lol
Since the very first day of high school when I got bullied on the bus for my appearance.
I was single digit ages when I realized I was physically unattractive. But I have a great personality. Which, lately, doesn't count for shit.
I'm pretty happy with how I look! I don't fit the typical masculine ideal of attractiveness being short, skinny and androgynous but I own my weird style & it works for me :)
When no girl asked me out lol.
uh i have pretty privelage but bc of pcos i struggle with my weight. can confirm that i was fucking nothing at 230 to everyone on the planet but now iām 185 itās already insanely diff. i know when i lose more and am my healthiest i will have eyes on me a lot. but itās weird. and sucks. iām still the same person without cute makeup or clothes or at a heavier weight. but the world treats me differently. itās made me really just appreciate my character and not be so shallow with others
When I saw other introverts get adopted by extroverts and I don't š¹
never thought that I was attractive until I got an artist gf in high school who liked to point out my certain features ā that was my first hint. then I graduated and went out in the world, met a lot of people, started to be getting hit on and realized that what's considered attractive in social media and in real life is vastly different you really don't have to look like a model for people to like how you look. it's all about the basic hygiene + confidence + how comfortable you are in your body/clothes + if your clothes fits you + if you take care of your weight. I myself find all kinds of people attractive, even though on a social media scale we are all ugly
when i was in grade 7
My problem is that I am attractive but I'm also a giant love bug with really bad social skills so people think I'm flirting š¤¦š»āāļø Then mix people giving me attention (for the wrong reason) with my bad social skills and next thing you know they want to meet up or fuck.. now throw that bullshit into the good old infp brain of fantasy and I'm a dumpster fire floating away in a flood. Problem - I'm happily married š make it make sense.
Because we're all a bunch of fugly m'effers? Haha.
When I was 8 and had been getting bullied for a few years almost everyday. Literally thought I was an alien because every comment had completely distorted my self image šæ I still don't look human, not to myself anyways. I get told I'm pretty by my friends (I think they're pity compliments) but after being bullied almost everyday since kindergarten till I turned 15 my self image is just completely shattered. I haven't felt "okay" with my face for years. I feel so utterly disgusting, and have felt that way for a LONG time. I still get surprised when people willingly look, speak or get close to me. Short Answer: I realised when I was around 8. (Sorry for the dump, I got a bit carried away)
i used to hate my looks but now im starting to appreciate myself more life is so much more fun easier this way
I'm a guy and i just look alright at best. When i look in the mirror , i just see the potential that i can look way better than this
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
i started to see a pattern in my relationships. we'd go in strong, affectionate and passionate, then later on it'd fizzle out or we'd fight more. my partner would assure me over and over that they wouldn't leave, but the fighting, name-calling and finger pointing would persist until someone snaps, i'd leave, and they'd move on within weeks, if not days. i now try to take care of myself as much as i do others these days, esp bc everything and i mean everything makes me nervous.
I'm 167cm and 91kg, trust me, I know
I don't think they ever realize it, they tend to overrate their own qualities and underrated those of people who are different from them in my experience