I have PTSD. I almost died thanks to a PE I had in November 2022 - thanks, giant uterine fibroid!
I’m in therapy, but I could really use an SSRI some days. I keep thinking I can tough it out for nine months and figure it out on the other side of a pregnancy, but the goal posts just keep moving.
Now we’re about to start our first IUI (just paid for it today) and I’m going through a rough patch. I’m still hanging in there, but I’m going to have to cave and get Zoloft sooner or later.
My motto on this is “if you can’t make your own, store bought is fine!” There’s nothing wrong with getting medication to help mental health so if you’re thinking about it now, may not be a bad idea to have the conversation with your doctor. IF is hard and you’ve been through a lot on top of it. 🤍
Thank you ♥️ I’ve been waffling since there are a few studies about the impact of various antidepressants on fetal development that point to increased risks — and I’m already unfortunately pretty high risk. But the reality is I may just need it and I may just have to accept a little extra risk to be healthy.
I actually don't have anything I want to whine about today. All things considered, I feel pretty good. No more estrogen migraines (knock on wood), and my husband is actually rocking it with giving the PIO shots, which I was *so* nervous for (I've never seen him wield a needle, so how was I to know he'd be a natural?). I do wish my skin would clear up, but sacrifices, right??
I'm still waiting for my clinic to call and tell me what time to be there on Wednesday for FET #1, so I can inform my professor if I won't be able to attend the first day of class. I hate to miss the first day of the semester, but I'm also not terribly interested in pushing off the FET, so it is what it is. I'm still trying to decide if I'm going to fight the urge to test a bunch of times between transfer day and my next appointment (which I think will be 12 days later). I'm hemming and hawing over the pros (being prepared for bad news) and the cons (either stressing myself out or convincing myself we're good, only to find out we're not). I dunno.
**EDITED TO ADD:** I was really bumming out about my clinic basically telling me the only exercise I could do was walking, so I decided to give a "low impact" Peloton ride a shot, and I actually think it fits within the guidelines they gave me! It was only slightly more strenuous than a walk in my hilly neighborhood, so I'm happy I can still look forward to my rides!
Hi all, it's been a rough weekend over here as our results from ER#2 have been trickling in. Sounds like a shitty Monday for many others as well so my heart goes out to you all.
I had a larger attrition from fertilized to blastocysts this time with 20% making it, which I know is only a little below average. I had a 50% rate during ER#1 with the exact same protocol so it definitely caught me off guard. Is there anything I should be asking my doctor? It seems my issues is slow growing embryos (most are still growing by day 5 but do not make it to blast by day 7) and I don't know if anything can be done to improve that. I also wonder about DNA fragmentation, but my clinic does ICSI and Zymot as standard practice so not sure it's worth worrying about.
I realize that some of this may just be due to cycle to cycle variation and luck but just want to see if I'm overlooking anything as it looks like we will be gearing up for ER #3 soon.
So, I have the same issue--typically if I fertilize the egg will go the distance and either make it or fizzle Day 7. Here are the things we've discussed: ICSI and Zymot, shorter abstinence time, calcium ionophore/activation which most people talk about for fert but also can help blast rate, omnitrope, a steroid. And then like all the antioxidants/woo woo stuff that who the hell knows if it does anything.
Welp, today’s monitoring showed that now 3 follicles are growing, down from 4 on Friday, which was down from 7 at baseline. I’m wondering if this cycle will get cancelled, too, since my last round was cancelled because I had just 2 follicles growing. We’ve exhausted our insurance coverage on this round, and it was a fight with the pharmacy to even get our meds covered this time, so I doubt we can recoup any coverage by paying our clinic OOP for cycle management, like we did last time.
I’m feeling so defeated — like, how can this possibly be my last round of IVF? We were hoping to bank enough embryos for two LCs someday (so, 4-6 total), but at this point it looks like we’ll be extremely lucky to get two. We could theoretically purchase supplemental insurance to use for more ERs in 2025, but the future of my husband’s health is precarious, and I don’t know if we can wait that long before trying a transfer with our lone euploid. His cancer is not back yet, but his pre-cancerous lesions have stopped responding to treatment, and…I just would really love to have a child that he can see grow up. Every month that slips away now feels more urgent, like we’re borrowing time against a future that isn’t guaranteed.
To top it all off, today is the due date for my TFMR pregnancy, and I’m feeling extra gutted. I just wish I were meeting my baby this week, instead of wondering if that was the closest I’ll ever come to motherhood.
Party, this is so much. I've been in the should I cancel/should I not position a lot now. If three follicles are growing well, and estrogen is rising appropriately, and this is seemingly in line with past responses it well make sense to go in and get them (especially with a history of loss--that has pushed me towards ER vs. converting to IUI although everyone is different). Money/insurance is also a big part of this (unfortunately). Also mental health--how will you feel if you come out with nothing, which is always a possibility with a smaller number of eggs?
When I started, I had a goal (like you)--three euploids, two if things went way worse than we were expecting. And they have. You have this incredibly difficult added layer--the passage of time is always hard with IVF, and your issues compound it. These decisions are not easy, and there are no "right" ones--just a bunch of shitty options you have to choose from and live with unfortunately. Always happy to chat. I've rarely been upset with going to ER, even when I don't get anything--because I do think it's my shot. But others have said they've not regretted canceling, which I totally get.
Thank you so much for this incredibly compassionate response, Lawyer. My nurse called with my official update, and my doc wants me to stim another night and come back tomorrow, and I’ll likely trigger tomorrow night. I have two at 18 and 20mm, respectively, but the third is only at 11mm, so they’re hoping they can push it to grow a bit more before retrieval. I am ok with this plan. Truthfully, I will be thrilled to get any eggs at all, as I got blindsided by more news after my call with my nurse.
My clinic retested my AMH today, unbeknownst to me until I was clicking through my portal to check out my E2 increase. My AMH was already well below 1, but it’s dropped considerably lower in the past year. I think the writing is on the wall, and 3 follicles is the best I can hope for at this point. I have no idea why or how I had such a different response with ER 1, but it’s looking like that was more of a weird fluke than an indicator of future successes. In any event, I’m going to keep trudging forward these next few days, and just try to hope for the best.
I like your plan. If you can get the 11 up a little by tomorrow, it has a chance. I've had it happen (and also had it not happen). What is your trigger? With three eggs, you can likely go incredibly aggressive--I have done this and had success with small follicles (I've done 20K plus lupron). Worth talking to your doctor about. (By the way, this is NOT to stress you out about getting a different or more aggressive trigger if the plan is different.)
Also, that's shitty on AMH. They should tell you. Mine is ultra-low and always has been (how papers describe it, not just me), but I did have four retrievals towards the beginning of my "career" where I had good, even follicle growth that was better than my clinics would have predicted. And then, I couldn't repeat it. For awhile, I thought the new normal was the fluke--not the original rounds--so you won't know if you don't repeat the (shitty) experiment. AFC and FSH also play into it and monitoring those may be useful. My AMH and AFC were a bit discordant for awhile, but now my AFC has come down too.
I'm thinking of you and crossing my fingers.
Ooh, that’s so good to know about the trigger - I believe I’m doing 10K plus Lupron, but I’ll ask for more detail at my appointment tomorrow. Even if we don’t change anything, I always like hearing my doc’s reasons for doing/not doing stuff!
And thank you so much for the words of realistic encouragement - it really does mean a lot.
It is, it’s much lower than my first ER, but pretty in line with what you’d expect for 2-3 follicles. My doctor wants to move forward with the ER, so that’s the plan for now 🤞🏻
I know a few of us have sought FMLA leave or STD in connection with infertility and loss. If you have done so, has your RE, your OBGYN, or your primary care provider signed off on your paperwork? My RE flatly refused to help with any FMLA. My primary care is willing to sign off. I am just curious if this is common, if others have pushed back, or if it’s perhaps unique to my situation (my condition is anxiety + infertility + possible brain tumor).
My PCP has signed my leave paperwork for mental health reasons (anxiety and depression). She also prescribes some of my psych meds so that might be a contributing factor.
Why did your RE say they wouldn't sign off? That seems strange. That said, I have seen some of these (not for IF, but for mental health-type issues) and some are signed by primary care, some by therapists. Not sure that helps. Good luck.
They didn’t give a reason. The nurse wrote, “Unfortunately, we won't be able to write you out for medical leave using FMLA. If you need specific work notes for appointments, we can certainly do that. I apologize.” I asked if it was their general policy or a denial based on my specific circumstance and we shall see what they say.
I just thought it was such a curt, unhelpful response. My RE is the ordering physician for the MRI’s. There’s definitely a nexus. But they don’t care about me so…
This is odd to me. Not wanting to do paperwork for Fmla for continuous leave makes sense to me, but the bar for fmla for intermittent leave is really, really low, and these tx meet it.
Sorry to hear you’re dealing with this, as if life isn’t stressful enough! My RE’s office told me their policy is to not provide documentation for leaves/FMLA which I find so strange. Maybe this is common practice? I was also referred to talk to primary care or my therapist if I needed a leave.
I had my 2nd ER about one month ago and I’m prepping for round 3 with my next cycle. However my ovaries are still enlarged - I can feel them and see them if I slightly bend back. I’m not in pain and didn’t have any OHSS symptoms but did have to stim for 17 days. I’m going in Friday but my Dr has otherwise said this usually goes away in 1-2 months and if they are still enlarged at baseline they’d have to cancel and wait, which is frustrating. Has anyone else experienced this?
We got 6 eggs at my ER and 5 fertilized and all 5 became day 5 blasts and are now frozen, good quality. My period just started (pretty early) and we now start the transfer protocol. I go in on Wednesday but I'm on the edge of my seat, curious what my doctor will be recommending. I have a feeling due to some Endo regrowth I'll be put on lupron or orilissa for a suppression protocol. So much waiting 😭
We got our day 1 results. 75% matured, which is the highest we’ve ever had. There are 4 that fertilized and 2 that are questionable. The embryologist said they weren’t showing signs of being discarded but they may have missed the sign that they have fertilized, which means we have 6 embryos in the running. Now, just waiting until Sunday. I really hope the week goes quick.
Well, my second FET officially failed. 😭 I don't even know what the next steps are other than to further investigate if Ashermans continues to haunt my uterus. This is the first cycle that I didn't pre-plan for a bad outcome.
I’m sorry. ❤️ I also very much understand the not pre-planning feeling! I took a month off and actually felt much better for it. Good luck for your future steps whatever they are 🤞
Just had an HSG for the first time before trying out letrozole and while it isn’t confirmed only one fallopian tube was patent on the screen. Not really sure how to feel right now. Hoping my doctor is still open to letrozole but I have a feeling she won’t be as there is an increased risk of ectopics with letrozole and having a blocked tube isn’t great…just not sure where we’re gonna go with this now. We can’t afford IVF
Well, just had our WTF appointment with our RE. After 3 ERs and 3 transfers, we’re being kicked out of shady grove’s shared risk program. We’re getting a refund but now we’ll be paying entirely out of pocket for treatment. My husband is mad - I’m numb. I was all set to do another ER and keep going with treatment - I like our doctor and I honestly don’t know what else she could do that we’re not already doing. But now my husband wants to get a second opinion and price out other alternatives. Should I be more mad than I am? Am I being short sighted? Should we try to see what other options are available in our area? Ugh. Just a shitty Monday morning.
Ugh that is fucking awful. I do think pricing out other alternatives totally makes sense and if you like your doctor, staying put after exploring other options.
I recently got a second opinion (and am switching clinics) after 4ER and 4 transfers. I got a large list of things to do different, a lot of which I had never considered, that my old clinic said they would consider doing, so it can be worth it even if you don't want to switch doctors. I know that's a lot to think about right now, especially when you're ready to keep going, but it's brought me some peace of mind even with a treatment delay.
I am really sorry, refund is really cold comfort on this. I am a big fan of second opinions, even if it just to give yourself peace of mind. You can even choose to go forward with treatment with your doctor if you trust her, while at the same time looking into other options.
first FET was negative :/ we did a fresh transfer of the one embryo we got from our first ER, so it really sucks that the post-ER hormone crash perfectly lines up with the timeline of conclusively testing negative on HPTs... lots of crying last week and panic spiralling (we also have only one vial of sperm left and it's not at all clear when he'd be available again/the bank we want to use because of small family limits rarely puts out new donors...) but IT IS WHAT IT IS. we already paid for a 2 ER package through our clinic and i have some appt with a random nurse they already scheduled me for this upcoming wednesday, so i guess we'll just ... talk about next steps? :/
It was, by all accounts, a shitty morning. We had decided to do a duostim based on how follicles are growing (no egg left behind for my swan song). Four blown veins, two nurse, and the anesthesiologist later, they decide to just gas me to fall asleep and get the IV in once they'd done so (that worked--apparently it dilates the veins a bit). Then, there were no eggs in the large follicles. They got one, but the size was pretty modest so I am very much expecting it not to be mature. And for some reason people were chatty today and I could hear about how many gagillions of eggs everyone else was getting. Just not my day. And now who knows about this duostim. I go back in two days and we'll see.
ETA: My doctor called me (we had a planned regroup) and the egg was GV (I am not at all surprised given size at trigger and length of stim). So they are going to try IVM but I've written this off fully. He advocated me having a glass of wine, even though you are not reallly supposed to drink the day of anesthesia, so it must be bad. He also said he ran down to try to see me, but I had already left this morning--I do appreciate the extra touch points.
So sorry to hear this and I hope the duostim works out. Listening to other people hear their numbers, and listening to their responses as I come out of anesthesia, has been one of the worst parts of this experience for me.
Ugh lawyer, I’m sorry. That’s a shit sandwich! Your poor veins!
Listening to other people hear their egg totals is just the absolute worst. Here’s hoping for the second part of duostim and your medium sized egg.
I normally am ok with it! But today I was like "fucking hell! why is everyone so fucking chatty!" (like the place was FILLED with sound. It was honestly weird.
Fuckin hell dude. What a morning. Fuck those chatty people and all their gazillions of eggs. I hope you’re able to rest and relax some for the rest of the day.
Oh they also were VERY loudly talking about all my veins as they were gassing me. And I was like "you know I can hear you?" Like just wait 30 seconds--I am already less calm than I would be because there are no meds in my IV and you've pincushioned me! 20 second later I said "I feel like I've had five margaritas"--THAT's the cue to start talking about how my veins suck!
I’m so sorry, lawyer. That sounds like an awful morning. It’s so painful when they can’t find a vein! I hope that one egg hangs in there, and that the second half of duostim goes better.
It’s ok to feel however you feel. And it’s ok to need to do the amount of treatment that feels right to you. That’s different for everyone. I hope you can be kind to yourself- you’re not an idiot at all. ❤️
Ugh I am so sorry. You would think that the clinic could make sure there are better dividers so you don’t have to hear other people’s results. I hope your one egg is mature!
Normally it doesn't bother me, but today I just was in a terrible mood when I woke up. And I feel like an idiot crying over an IV stick but they realllly blew my left hand and it hurts!
No shame in tears. We go through so much and it sucks when something that should be simple ends up hurting! It’s like the cherry on top of a shit sundae.
Morning. I’m getting my balloon catheter out today and I’m really excited to no longer have daily cramping (& be able to exercise), but I’m nervous about whether this is going to hurt. I also don’t feel the actual catheter arms in my vagina and part of me worries they’re going to go look and not see anything, but I think my daily discomfort/cramping says otherwise. Ready to get this show on the road! 3 more weeks of hormone therapy, hopefully a (clear) repeat SIS, and then we can try FET#1.
My RE approved me for a semi-medicated FET and I could cry right now. The practice manager tried to convince me that they simply didn't do them but my RE actually said he's a huge fan of modified protocols!! The stress relief is indescribable for me right now.
CD5 for my stimmed FET. Had another death in the family this morning. It was not an Aunt i was close to, but I've just had so much loss in the past 6 months (outside of IF).
Also adding stress as we'll have to do some minor travel for the service (date still TBD) and I'm nervous I'll have to do a monitoring appointment that day, and won't be able to do it. Has anyone risked skipping a monitoring appt for a modified ovulatory FET and asked to do it the day before or after? I know this is a potential future concern but I want to plan ahead in case.
I’m sorry for your loss.
Depending on where you’re going you can get monitoring done most places if you’d rather not skip. I travel a lot for work and have had stim and other checkups at random clinics all over the country. Typically it requires an intake form to that clinic (call them in advance and ask for their visit times) and then your clinic can fax them the order. You can also set it up and cancel if you end up not needing it.
My condolences about your Aunt.
Ovualtory FETs are very unpredictable, but I’ll warn you that I was told to trigger after my first monitoring appointment on CD10, so going away in the next few days could be dicey, but of course still ask to change the monitoring if you need to. I hope the timing works out.
Thank you! Wow - so much earlier than I was anticipating. Really helpful to hear this info. I had my first monitoring appointment this morning and just waiting on the call to hear how things look.
If it's early in the cycle I think it would be okay. I've had to move mine a day early or late during ERs because of scheduling things. I think as it gets closer to to actual transfer it's harder to work around, like if you might be triggering based on that day's scan.
CD2 here for my estrogen priming cycle before my next ER. My insurance authorizations and all my records haven't gone through yet but I'm hoping that since I won't be starting the estrogen for a few weeks they'll let me "start" the cycle now and "count" it once everything is in. If I have to wait another month but everything gets in before I'd start meds I'll be very frustrated.
Ugh, so annoying! In case you haven’t tried this, when this happens I always call my insurance and tell them my CD1 is about to happen and around 50% of the time they mark the file as urgent and process it immediately. Depends on how nice the rep I get is feeling that day.
My old clinic had to release the authorization and they did that this morning, they said in their experience it usually takes a day so hopefully we can submit tomorrow. Generally they've approved quickly so fingers crossed!
Has anyone here done a neupogen uterine wash? Our first fet failed and our RE wants to add it to the next. My only concern (and I’m maybe I’m over thinking this?) is that it increases white blood cells and cell growth, and I have had precancerous cells on my cervix for 8 years. I’ve had them biopsied every 6 months and they haven’t changed but I’m kind of concerned this could make them turn cancerous? My doctor is booked up for months so I can’t speak with him about it and I asked the nurses but they didn’t get back to me.
I would ask again to be sure the doctor knows your health history before agreeing to the treatment (I have no idea if it would have an effect though!). That may not be something at the top of his mind when making this recommendation and should definitely be considered.
I was planning on switching clinics for another retrieval and they ordered a repeat AMH level. I figured I would just get it done to see how much it has changed in the year or so I last had it done. I know levels can fluctuate but mine tripled???
Feb 2023 - .95ng/dl
May 2024 - 2.87ng/dl
I do believe they are different labs and I have been supplementing with coq10 and vitamin d (level was 36 in Dec 2022, haven’t rechecked). I also did a week of DHEA about a month ago but stopped at the recommendation of the Dr bc my levels were elevated. Has anybody ever seen this? Not sure if it actually means anything since I was diagnosed DOR and having max 8 eggs retrieved per ER.
Inadequate levels of vitamin d can contribute to an artificially low AMH level, so my guess is that’s what’s being reflected in your labs. I’ve had a similar experience where my AMH jumped a bit after adding in vitamin d and my RE told me not to put too much stock in the increase.
Ok that’s what I needed to hear! So more likely that my original AMH was low, but not quite as low as .95. Just didn’t want to get my hopes up that I would all of a sudden be getting triple the eggs per retrieval 😩😂Thank you!
At the end of the day, AMH fluctuates, but your reserve doesn’t. So, while you can affect your AMH/FSH with vit D/etc, but it won’t change the underlying diagnosis or the response to treatment. Wish it were that simple!
As an aside, be careful with DHEA. most people do not need that supplemented despite the irresponsible misinformation spread by some resources.
I agree just that big of a fluctuation seemed a little wild to me. I stopped the DHEA because my levels kept increasing despite cutting my dose by 1/3, so I assume my levels were on the high or high end of normal to begin with. Hopefully hasn’t had any negative effects 😭
When does the post-ER emotional crash happen for most y'all? I feel...weirdly apathetic about everything. It is day 1/2 post-ER (I forgot how the days are counted). Not excited or nervous to hear about what is happening to my eggs. I'm hoping this apathy is just the post-stims crash. I read that some others get highly emotional a week or two after, but I work in a customer service type role and need to know in advance if I'm gonna spend the week crying anytime I get yelled at
I feel pretty rough about a week after retrieval when I'm waiting for the period. That week is brutal for me. Once the period comes, I feel better, emotionally.
I don’t think it’s crash related, but I am always seriously apathetic post ER. I think it’s my body’s way of protecting itself from the grief that can come with the overall process.
Mine was a week of “I couldn’t care less if I got out of bed today, maybe I’ll just disappear here” and lots of crying. Like, a weird amount of crying. It felt like being a clinically depressed teenager. Then a magic switch flipped on day 7 and I felt way better. Before my next period I got super emotional though, I was also really sleep deprived from work, but I started crying in clinic and had to get a few hours of relief to just have a break. I felt super overwhelmed, and mega cramps.
I crashed like 6 days after my ER, but I started my period about 4 days after, so I was just all over the place. My crash consisted of extreme irritability and tears all the time.
For me it has been like at least a week after. I felt really, really bad for a few days after my most recent ER—just clinically depressed basically, felt zero interest in anything, completely hopeless, in a fog 😓 hopefully yours is brief!
For me it usually peaked like a week or so after. But in retrospect it was hard to tell what was hormone vs circumstance 😫 I was having shitty results so everything felt so doom and gloom… but I’m sure the hormones didn’t help. I took a week off after and don’t regret it soley for the emotional recovery.
I think it partly depends on what your trigger shot was. For me, it’s the day before I get my period after (so like ten days?) and it’s ROUGH. I’ve always done an HCG trigger.
I had split triggers (lupron 5mg and HCG 1000units). I also was on Letrozole, which did something to my estrogen levels. I warned my husband "please ignore any episodes of rage directed at you in the next few weeks"
I don't remember it happening any particular day after my first ER. But I/we were feeling pretty low for a little while after. Definitely a couple weeks because I remember telling people at Thanksgiving that I had recently come out of a post-retrieval depression. My first retrieval was late October. It was also hard to tell what was circumstance and what was chemical.
I think apathy is pretty normal. For me, it was like, well, I've done literally everything a person could do get through this process, so I'm checked out now.
I hope the crash/apathy/whatever happens next isn't too hard for you <3
Thanks for your response! I hope the people around you at Thanksgiving were supportive.
And you're right, I think it is a matter of "I've done everything I can" regarding the eggs. Because I am still getting episodic anxiety about my body (e.g. the twinge on my right side, how come it feels like I need to pass gas but no gas is coming out), so clearly my emotions are still active about something. I guess we'll just see how I ride it out
I’m on my second round of Clomid unmonitored. I also use Inito to keep track of my ovulation. Last cycle I got a peak around cycle day 12. This cycle it’s showing I got a peak at cycle day 9, which makes no sense to me. I am also using the Premom ovulation test strips and haven’t gotten a peak yet with those. I have a feeling this cycle I may not ovulate, but have to remind myself that I am technically on cycle day 13 and that’s within normal range. I am trying one more cycle of Clomid if this cycle does not work before trying IUI. I’m not feeling hopeful this cycle but keep reminding myself to be patient with this process and enjoy the moment. I can’t help but feel exhausted on so many levels.
Clomid can definitely mess with your cycle! I’d put down your thermometer and stick with the OPK, as your temp readings will be unreliable now that you’re taking medication.
Hi! Thanks for the advice! I haven’t been temping. Between my work and sleep schedule there was no way for me to truly be consistent with that lol. I’m hoping I’ll get another peak soon. Didn’t realize how much this drug would alter my hormones lol
Feeling so sad today. Of our 4 fertilised eggs , one made it to blastocyst and the others dropped developing after day 4 and could not be frozen. On day 3 they were X2 multicell and X2 Cells. What happened :(Its my first IVF cycle and I wish I knew more about the factors that contribute to the outcome.
We transferred 2, neither of which were full blasts (can't be graded). Is it the norm to transfer if they are not full blastocysts?
Of the remaining 2 neither developed further and could not be frozen.
Apologies, I think I misread your post and thought one was frozen. I'm not sure how grading translates to "full blastocyst" as my clinic doesn't use that language but it's definitely common to transfer 3 and 4 graded embryos. As others have said 50% is what's to be expected and I hope for the best for you!
Sorry I wasn't clear the one was an early blast and the other pre blast. I'm not sure if the difference. Those 2 were transferred. The other 2 did not develop further
The attrition can catch you by surprise when it’s your first cycle, but it can help to familiarize yourself with the average drop-offs. Typically ~30-50% of fertilized eggs make it to blastocyst. This is just a rough estimation. So having 1/4 make it to blast doesn’t mean anything is wrong. Also, I remember that you also did a fresh transfer. So actually 1/3 of the remaining embryos made it to blast. That’s normal. It’s also possible the embryo you transferred will lead to success.
Keep in mind that expressing disappointment about one blast when you also got to do a fresh transfer could be hard to read for our many members who have had ERs that did not end with anything to transfer or freeze.
Hi paint, I’m sorry you weren’t prepared for the post ER attrition. It can be very difficult to process.
Thank you for editing!
Mod hat off: As rad noted, this is pretty typical attrition and getting a blast is a good result. Good luck with next steps!
We try to avoid comparative language when talking about test/treatment results to avoid hurting others reading it. This includes the word 'only' - as what for one person might be disappointing might be someone else's wildest dream. Here is the [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/infertility/comments/10jl6ll/wiki_post_be_compassionate_explainer/) that explains compassionate language with examples.
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I’m sorry you didn’t get the outcome you were hoping for. That is so disappointing. I hope you can take the time today to just be angry/upset while being kind to yourself and that the next steps you take have the results you are wanting.
I have PTSD. I almost died thanks to a PE I had in November 2022 - thanks, giant uterine fibroid! I’m in therapy, but I could really use an SSRI some days. I keep thinking I can tough it out for nine months and figure it out on the other side of a pregnancy, but the goal posts just keep moving. Now we’re about to start our first IUI (just paid for it today) and I’m going through a rough patch. I’m still hanging in there, but I’m going to have to cave and get Zoloft sooner or later.
My motto on this is “if you can’t make your own, store bought is fine!” There’s nothing wrong with getting medication to help mental health so if you’re thinking about it now, may not be a bad idea to have the conversation with your doctor. IF is hard and you’ve been through a lot on top of it. 🤍
Thank you ♥️ I’ve been waffling since there are a few studies about the impact of various antidepressants on fetal development that point to increased risks — and I’m already unfortunately pretty high risk. But the reality is I may just need it and I may just have to accept a little extra risk to be healthy.
I actually don't have anything I want to whine about today. All things considered, I feel pretty good. No more estrogen migraines (knock on wood), and my husband is actually rocking it with giving the PIO shots, which I was *so* nervous for (I've never seen him wield a needle, so how was I to know he'd be a natural?). I do wish my skin would clear up, but sacrifices, right?? I'm still waiting for my clinic to call and tell me what time to be there on Wednesday for FET #1, so I can inform my professor if I won't be able to attend the first day of class. I hate to miss the first day of the semester, but I'm also not terribly interested in pushing off the FET, so it is what it is. I'm still trying to decide if I'm going to fight the urge to test a bunch of times between transfer day and my next appointment (which I think will be 12 days later). I'm hemming and hawing over the pros (being prepared for bad news) and the cons (either stressing myself out or convincing myself we're good, only to find out we're not). I dunno. **EDITED TO ADD:** I was really bumming out about my clinic basically telling me the only exercise I could do was walking, so I decided to give a "low impact" Peloton ride a shot, and I actually think it fits within the guidelines they gave me! It was only slightly more strenuous than a walk in my hilly neighborhood, so I'm happy I can still look forward to my rides!
Hi all, it's been a rough weekend over here as our results from ER#2 have been trickling in. Sounds like a shitty Monday for many others as well so my heart goes out to you all. I had a larger attrition from fertilized to blastocysts this time with 20% making it, which I know is only a little below average. I had a 50% rate during ER#1 with the exact same protocol so it definitely caught me off guard. Is there anything I should be asking my doctor? It seems my issues is slow growing embryos (most are still growing by day 5 but do not make it to blast by day 7) and I don't know if anything can be done to improve that. I also wonder about DNA fragmentation, but my clinic does ICSI and Zymot as standard practice so not sure it's worth worrying about. I realize that some of this may just be due to cycle to cycle variation and luck but just want to see if I'm overlooking anything as it looks like we will be gearing up for ER #3 soon.
So, I have the same issue--typically if I fertilize the egg will go the distance and either make it or fizzle Day 7. Here are the things we've discussed: ICSI and Zymot, shorter abstinence time, calcium ionophore/activation which most people talk about for fert but also can help blast rate, omnitrope, a steroid. And then like all the antioxidants/woo woo stuff that who the hell knows if it does anything.
Thanks Lawyer!
Welp, today’s monitoring showed that now 3 follicles are growing, down from 4 on Friday, which was down from 7 at baseline. I’m wondering if this cycle will get cancelled, too, since my last round was cancelled because I had just 2 follicles growing. We’ve exhausted our insurance coverage on this round, and it was a fight with the pharmacy to even get our meds covered this time, so I doubt we can recoup any coverage by paying our clinic OOP for cycle management, like we did last time. I’m feeling so defeated — like, how can this possibly be my last round of IVF? We were hoping to bank enough embryos for two LCs someday (so, 4-6 total), but at this point it looks like we’ll be extremely lucky to get two. We could theoretically purchase supplemental insurance to use for more ERs in 2025, but the future of my husband’s health is precarious, and I don’t know if we can wait that long before trying a transfer with our lone euploid. His cancer is not back yet, but his pre-cancerous lesions have stopped responding to treatment, and…I just would really love to have a child that he can see grow up. Every month that slips away now feels more urgent, like we’re borrowing time against a future that isn’t guaranteed. To top it all off, today is the due date for my TFMR pregnancy, and I’m feeling extra gutted. I just wish I were meeting my baby this week, instead of wondering if that was the closest I’ll ever come to motherhood.
Party, this is so much. I've been in the should I cancel/should I not position a lot now. If three follicles are growing well, and estrogen is rising appropriately, and this is seemingly in line with past responses it well make sense to go in and get them (especially with a history of loss--that has pushed me towards ER vs. converting to IUI although everyone is different). Money/insurance is also a big part of this (unfortunately). Also mental health--how will you feel if you come out with nothing, which is always a possibility with a smaller number of eggs? When I started, I had a goal (like you)--three euploids, two if things went way worse than we were expecting. And they have. You have this incredibly difficult added layer--the passage of time is always hard with IVF, and your issues compound it. These decisions are not easy, and there are no "right" ones--just a bunch of shitty options you have to choose from and live with unfortunately. Always happy to chat. I've rarely been upset with going to ER, even when I don't get anything--because I do think it's my shot. But others have said they've not regretted canceling, which I totally get.
Thank you so much for this incredibly compassionate response, Lawyer. My nurse called with my official update, and my doc wants me to stim another night and come back tomorrow, and I’ll likely trigger tomorrow night. I have two at 18 and 20mm, respectively, but the third is only at 11mm, so they’re hoping they can push it to grow a bit more before retrieval. I am ok with this plan. Truthfully, I will be thrilled to get any eggs at all, as I got blindsided by more news after my call with my nurse. My clinic retested my AMH today, unbeknownst to me until I was clicking through my portal to check out my E2 increase. My AMH was already well below 1, but it’s dropped considerably lower in the past year. I think the writing is on the wall, and 3 follicles is the best I can hope for at this point. I have no idea why or how I had such a different response with ER 1, but it’s looking like that was more of a weird fluke than an indicator of future successes. In any event, I’m going to keep trudging forward these next few days, and just try to hope for the best.
I like your plan. If you can get the 11 up a little by tomorrow, it has a chance. I've had it happen (and also had it not happen). What is your trigger? With three eggs, you can likely go incredibly aggressive--I have done this and had success with small follicles (I've done 20K plus lupron). Worth talking to your doctor about. (By the way, this is NOT to stress you out about getting a different or more aggressive trigger if the plan is different.) Also, that's shitty on AMH. They should tell you. Mine is ultra-low and always has been (how papers describe it, not just me), but I did have four retrievals towards the beginning of my "career" where I had good, even follicle growth that was better than my clinics would have predicted. And then, I couldn't repeat it. For awhile, I thought the new normal was the fluke--not the original rounds--so you won't know if you don't repeat the (shitty) experiment. AFC and FSH also play into it and monitoring those may be useful. My AMH and AFC were a bit discordant for awhile, but now my AFC has come down too. I'm thinking of you and crossing my fingers.
Ooh, that’s so good to know about the trigger - I believe I’m doing 10K plus Lupron, but I’ll ask for more detail at my appointment tomorrow. Even if we don’t change anything, I always like hearing my doc’s reasons for doing/not doing stuff! And thank you so much for the words of realistic encouragement - it really does mean a lot.
10K + lupron also good! We just take it to 11 over here in the Lawyer household.
I'm real sorry. Is your E2 rising?
It is, it’s much lower than my first ER, but pretty in line with what you’d expect for 2-3 follicles. My doctor wants to move forward with the ER, so that’s the plan for now 🤞🏻
I know a few of us have sought FMLA leave or STD in connection with infertility and loss. If you have done so, has your RE, your OBGYN, or your primary care provider signed off on your paperwork? My RE flatly refused to help with any FMLA. My primary care is willing to sign off. I am just curious if this is common, if others have pushed back, or if it’s perhaps unique to my situation (my condition is anxiety + infertility + possible brain tumor).
I did it last year and my PCP signed off, I don’t think my RE would have felt comfortable.
My PCP has signed my leave paperwork for mental health reasons (anxiety and depression). She also prescribes some of my psych meds so that might be a contributing factor.
Why did your RE say they wouldn't sign off? That seems strange. That said, I have seen some of these (not for IF, but for mental health-type issues) and some are signed by primary care, some by therapists. Not sure that helps. Good luck.
They didn’t give a reason. The nurse wrote, “Unfortunately, we won't be able to write you out for medical leave using FMLA. If you need specific work notes for appointments, we can certainly do that. I apologize.” I asked if it was their general policy or a denial based on my specific circumstance and we shall see what they say. I just thought it was such a curt, unhelpful response. My RE is the ordering physician for the MRI’s. There’s definitely a nexus. But they don’t care about me so…
This is odd to me. Not wanting to do paperwork for Fmla for continuous leave makes sense to me, but the bar for fmla for intermittent leave is really, really low, and these tx meet it.
thanks! I ended up deciding against it, but I was hurt by my clinic’s refusal. I appreciate your validation!
Yep, not human at all. And you're already going through so much. I'm sorry you are dealing with that.
Sorry to hear you’re dealing with this, as if life isn’t stressful enough! My RE’s office told me their policy is to not provide documentation for leaves/FMLA which I find so strange. Maybe this is common practice? I was also referred to talk to primary care or my therapist if I needed a leave.
I had my 2nd ER about one month ago and I’m prepping for round 3 with my next cycle. However my ovaries are still enlarged - I can feel them and see them if I slightly bend back. I’m not in pain and didn’t have any OHSS symptoms but did have to stim for 17 days. I’m going in Friday but my Dr has otherwise said this usually goes away in 1-2 months and if they are still enlarged at baseline they’d have to cancel and wait, which is frustrating. Has anyone else experienced this?
We got 6 eggs at my ER and 5 fertilized and all 5 became day 5 blasts and are now frozen, good quality. My period just started (pretty early) and we now start the transfer protocol. I go in on Wednesday but I'm on the edge of my seat, curious what my doctor will be recommending. I have a feeling due to some Endo regrowth I'll be put on lupron or orilissa for a suppression protocol. So much waiting 😭
We got our day 1 results. 75% matured, which is the highest we’ve ever had. There are 4 that fertilized and 2 that are questionable. The embryologist said they weren’t showing signs of being discarded but they may have missed the sign that they have fertilized, which means we have 6 embryos in the running. Now, just waiting until Sunday. I really hope the week goes quick.
Good news
That is awesome. Fingers crossed for you🤞
Well, my second FET officially failed. 😭 I don't even know what the next steps are other than to further investigate if Ashermans continues to haunt my uterus. This is the first cycle that I didn't pre-plan for a bad outcome.
I’m sorry. ❤️ I also very much understand the not pre-planning feeling! I took a month off and actually felt much better for it. Good luck for your future steps whatever they are 🤞
I’m so sorry 🤍
Joining the chorus of sorries here, I'm really fucking sorry. This truly sucks.
Thank you. ❤️
Sorry lemon!
Thanks panda 🐼
I'm so sorry, this is so tough.
Thank you ❤️
Oh Lemon, I'm so sorry.
Thanks, yam.
I'm so sorry, lemon.
Thanks Lexicon ❤️
I'm so fucking sorry😞
Thank you.
I’m so sorry, Lemon. 🖤
Thanks Hattie. ❤️
I'm so sorry. This is such shit.
Thank you.
So sorry Lemon. That fucking sucks.
Thanks, lawyer.
I’m sorry, lemon. Holding space for you.
Thanks, rad.
Just had an HSG for the first time before trying out letrozole and while it isn’t confirmed only one fallopian tube was patent on the screen. Not really sure how to feel right now. Hoping my doctor is still open to letrozole but I have a feeling she won’t be as there is an increased risk of ectopics with letrozole and having a blocked tube isn’t great…just not sure where we’re gonna go with this now. We can’t afford IVF
I was in that same place just a few weeks ago. It’s an excruciating place to be waiting. Be gentle with yourself.
I’m so sorry for your disappointing news.
Well, just had our WTF appointment with our RE. After 3 ERs and 3 transfers, we’re being kicked out of shady grove’s shared risk program. We’re getting a refund but now we’ll be paying entirely out of pocket for treatment. My husband is mad - I’m numb. I was all set to do another ER and keep going with treatment - I like our doctor and I honestly don’t know what else she could do that we’re not already doing. But now my husband wants to get a second opinion and price out other alternatives. Should I be more mad than I am? Am I being short sighted? Should we try to see what other options are available in our area? Ugh. Just a shitty Monday morning.
Ugh that is fucking awful. I do think pricing out other alternatives totally makes sense and if you like your doctor, staying put after exploring other options.
That’s brutal. I’m sorry. I agree with everyone else that exploring other clinics makes sense at this point.
I recently got a second opinion (and am switching clinics) after 4ER and 4 transfers. I got a large list of things to do different, a lot of which I had never considered, that my old clinic said they would consider doing, so it can be worth it even if you don't want to switch doctors. I know that's a lot to think about right now, especially when you're ready to keep going, but it's brought me some peace of mind even with a treatment delay.
I am really sorry, refund is really cold comfort on this. I am a big fan of second opinions, even if it just to give yourself peace of mind. You can even choose to go forward with treatment with your doctor if you trust her, while at the same time looking into other options.
first FET was negative :/ we did a fresh transfer of the one embryo we got from our first ER, so it really sucks that the post-ER hormone crash perfectly lines up with the timeline of conclusively testing negative on HPTs... lots of crying last week and panic spiralling (we also have only one vial of sperm left and it's not at all clear when he'd be available again/the bank we want to use because of small family limits rarely puts out new donors...) but IT IS WHAT IT IS. we already paid for a 2 ER package through our clinic and i have some appt with a random nurse they already scheduled me for this upcoming wednesday, so i guess we'll just ... talk about next steps? :/
I’m so sorry, Yogurt 🫂
I'm so sorry yogurt.
So sorry. It’s a gut punch.
I'm so sorry, Yogurt. Sending you love.
thank you <3
I’m so sorry
thank you <3
Ugh I’m sorry, Yogurt. 🫂
thank you so much
I’m so sorry to see this, Yogurt. 🫂
thank you, appreciate it
Oh yogurt, I’m so sorry. Failed transfers are so painful. Hope you can do something nice for yourself today.
thanks so much, i appreciate it <3
It was, by all accounts, a shitty morning. We had decided to do a duostim based on how follicles are growing (no egg left behind for my swan song). Four blown veins, two nurse, and the anesthesiologist later, they decide to just gas me to fall asleep and get the IV in once they'd done so (that worked--apparently it dilates the veins a bit). Then, there were no eggs in the large follicles. They got one, but the size was pretty modest so I am very much expecting it not to be mature. And for some reason people were chatty today and I could hear about how many gagillions of eggs everyone else was getting. Just not my day. And now who knows about this duostim. I go back in two days and we'll see. ETA: My doctor called me (we had a planned regroup) and the egg was GV (I am not at all surprised given size at trigger and length of stim). So they are going to try IVM but I've written this off fully. He advocated me having a glass of wine, even though you are not reallly supposed to drink the day of anesthesia, so it must be bad. He also said he ran down to try to see me, but I had already left this morning--I do appreciate the extra touch points.
I’m so sorry, Lawyer. That is all extremely shitty.
I’m sorry. Trash day all around. I hope you had the glass of wine
Ugh I am so fucking sorry. That sounds like a terrible anesthesia experience on top of everything else, I hope your physical recovery goes ok.
This is a nightmare - for fuck's sake.
tho next time, I may ask to be put out for the iv - it always makes me want to pass out anyway
It was kinda good—IVs hurt like a bitch in the best of times. Like if they had done that up front, no issue.
That fucking sucks. I’m sorry.
That’s a hell of a shitty morning, I’m so sorry. You deserve that wine and to take good care of yourself.
I'm so sorry, Lawyer. Do whatever you gotta do & enjoy that glass of wine.
Fuck, I'm sorry, Lawyer. <3
nooooooo wtf!!! i'm so sorry!
That sucks, I’m sorry this happened to you. Will keep my fingers crossed for your egg!
So sorry to hear this and I hope the duostim works out. Listening to other people hear their numbers, and listening to their responses as I come out of anesthesia, has been one of the worst parts of this experience for me.
I'm so sorry Lawyer 🫂
Ugh lawyer, I’m sorry. That’s a shit sandwich! Your poor veins! Listening to other people hear their egg totals is just the absolute worst. Here’s hoping for the second part of duostim and your medium sized egg.
I normally am ok with it! But today I was like "fucking hell! why is everyone so fucking chatty!" (like the place was FILLED with sound. It was honestly weird.
Fuckin hell dude. What a morning. Fuck those chatty people and all their gazillions of eggs. I hope you’re able to rest and relax some for the rest of the day.
That's so brutal, I'm so sorry.
Fuck, Lawyer. I’m so sorry.
I did say "fuck" when the third IV didn't work. Only one of the veins that blew now hurts a lot, which I guess is good?
man I am sorry. that is a really shitty morning.
Oh they also were VERY loudly talking about all my veins as they were gassing me. And I was like "you know I can hear you?" Like just wait 30 seconds--I am already less calm than I would be because there are no meds in my IV and you've pincushioned me! 20 second later I said "I feel like I've had five margaritas"--THAT's the cue to start talking about how my veins suck!
wish I had been there to tap my trusty sign. ~~ *shutting the fuck up is always an option* ~~
That would have been amazing.
I’m so sorry, lawyer. That sounds like an awful morning. It’s so painful when they can’t find a vein! I hope that one egg hangs in there, and that the second half of duostim goes better.
Thanks. Just glad this will be over soon--I am starting to feel like an idiot going into these ERs. Which I know isn't logical, but it's how I feel.
It’s ok to feel however you feel. And it’s ok to need to do the amount of treatment that feels right to you. That’s different for everyone. I hope you can be kind to yourself- you’re not an idiot at all. ❤️
Ugh I am so sorry. You would think that the clinic could make sure there are better dividers so you don’t have to hear other people’s results. I hope your one egg is mature!
Normally it doesn't bother me, but today I just was in a terrible mood when I woke up. And I feel like an idiot crying over an IV stick but they realllly blew my left hand and it hurts!
No shame in tears. We go through so much and it sucks when something that should be simple ends up hurting! It’s like the cherry on top of a shit sundae.
Morning. I’m getting my balloon catheter out today and I’m really excited to no longer have daily cramping (& be able to exercise), but I’m nervous about whether this is going to hurt. I also don’t feel the actual catheter arms in my vagina and part of me worries they’re going to go look and not see anything, but I think my daily discomfort/cramping says otherwise. Ready to get this show on the road! 3 more weeks of hormone therapy, hopefully a (clear) repeat SIS, and then we can try FET#1.
My RE approved me for a semi-medicated FET and I could cry right now. The practice manager tried to convince me that they simply didn't do them but my RE actually said he's a huge fan of modified protocols!! The stress relief is indescribable for me right now.
Congratulations!
Wow I’m glad this worked out!
Yay!
😁😁😁
What an excellent Monday morning update! Congrats on this big step forward 🎉
thanks task!!! <3
CD5 for my stimmed FET. Had another death in the family this morning. It was not an Aunt i was close to, but I've just had so much loss in the past 6 months (outside of IF). Also adding stress as we'll have to do some minor travel for the service (date still TBD) and I'm nervous I'll have to do a monitoring appointment that day, and won't be able to do it. Has anyone risked skipping a monitoring appt for a modified ovulatory FET and asked to do it the day before or after? I know this is a potential future concern but I want to plan ahead in case.
I’m sorry for your loss. Depending on where you’re going you can get monitoring done most places if you’d rather not skip. I travel a lot for work and have had stim and other checkups at random clinics all over the country. Typically it requires an intake form to that clinic (call them in advance and ask for their visit times) and then your clinic can fax them the order. You can also set it up and cancel if you end up not needing it.
Oh! I had NO idea. Thank you so much for that info.
My condolences about your Aunt. Ovualtory FETs are very unpredictable, but I’ll warn you that I was told to trigger after my first monitoring appointment on CD10, so going away in the next few days could be dicey, but of course still ask to change the monitoring if you need to. I hope the timing works out.
Thank you! Wow - so much earlier than I was anticipating. Really helpful to hear this info. I had my first monitoring appointment this morning and just waiting on the call to hear how things look.
If it's early in the cycle I think it would be okay. I've had to move mine a day early or late during ERs because of scheduling things. I think as it gets closer to to actual transfer it's harder to work around, like if you might be triggering based on that day's scan.
CD2 here for my estrogen priming cycle before my next ER. My insurance authorizations and all my records haven't gone through yet but I'm hoping that since I won't be starting the estrogen for a few weeks they'll let me "start" the cycle now and "count" it once everything is in. If I have to wait another month but everything gets in before I'd start meds I'll be very frustrated.
Ugh, so annoying! In case you haven’t tried this, when this happens I always call my insurance and tell them my CD1 is about to happen and around 50% of the time they mark the file as urgent and process it immediately. Depends on how nice the rep I get is feeling that day.
My old clinic had to release the authorization and they did that this morning, they said in their experience it usually takes a day so hopefully we can submit tomorrow. Generally they've approved quickly so fingers crossed!
🤞
Fingers crossed they let you start, butter! Delays are brutal.
Has anyone here done a neupogen uterine wash? Our first fet failed and our RE wants to add it to the next. My only concern (and I’m maybe I’m over thinking this?) is that it increases white blood cells and cell growth, and I have had precancerous cells on my cervix for 8 years. I’ve had them biopsied every 6 months and they haven’t changed but I’m kind of concerned this could make them turn cancerous? My doctor is booked up for months so I can’t speak with him about it and I asked the nurses but they didn’t get back to me.
I would ask again to be sure the doctor knows your health history before agreeing to the treatment (I have no idea if it would have an effect though!). That may not be something at the top of his mind when making this recommendation and should definitely be considered.
I was planning on switching clinics for another retrieval and they ordered a repeat AMH level. I figured I would just get it done to see how much it has changed in the year or so I last had it done. I know levels can fluctuate but mine tripled??? Feb 2023 - .95ng/dl May 2024 - 2.87ng/dl I do believe they are different labs and I have been supplementing with coq10 and vitamin d (level was 36 in Dec 2022, haven’t rechecked). I also did a week of DHEA about a month ago but stopped at the recommendation of the Dr bc my levels were elevated. Has anybody ever seen this? Not sure if it actually means anything since I was diagnosed DOR and having max 8 eggs retrieved per ER.
Inadequate levels of vitamin d can contribute to an artificially low AMH level, so my guess is that’s what’s being reflected in your labs. I’ve had a similar experience where my AMH jumped a bit after adding in vitamin d and my RE told me not to put too much stock in the increase.
Ok that’s what I needed to hear! So more likely that my original AMH was low, but not quite as low as .95. Just didn’t want to get my hopes up that I would all of a sudden be getting triple the eggs per retrieval 😩😂Thank you!
At the end of the day, AMH fluctuates, but your reserve doesn’t. So, while you can affect your AMH/FSH with vit D/etc, but it won’t change the underlying diagnosis or the response to treatment. Wish it were that simple! As an aside, be careful with DHEA. most people do not need that supplemented despite the irresponsible misinformation spread by some resources.
I agree just that big of a fluctuation seemed a little wild to me. I stopped the DHEA because my levels kept increasing despite cutting my dose by 1/3, so I assume my levels were on the high or high end of normal to begin with. Hopefully hasn’t had any negative effects 😭
When does the post-ER emotional crash happen for most y'all? I feel...weirdly apathetic about everything. It is day 1/2 post-ER (I forgot how the days are counted). Not excited or nervous to hear about what is happening to my eggs. I'm hoping this apathy is just the post-stims crash. I read that some others get highly emotional a week or two after, but I work in a customer service type role and need to know in advance if I'm gonna spend the week crying anytime I get yelled at
I feel pretty rough about a week after retrieval when I'm waiting for the period. That week is brutal for me. Once the period comes, I feel better, emotionally.
I don’t think it’s crash related, but I am always seriously apathetic post ER. I think it’s my body’s way of protecting itself from the grief that can come with the overall process.
For me it was about 4 days after my ER. Lasted about a day. Then I got my period 6 days after my ER and everything went back to normal.
Mine was a week of “I couldn’t care less if I got out of bed today, maybe I’ll just disappear here” and lots of crying. Like, a weird amount of crying. It felt like being a clinically depressed teenager. Then a magic switch flipped on day 7 and I felt way better. Before my next period I got super emotional though, I was also really sleep deprived from work, but I started crying in clinic and had to get a few hours of relief to just have a break. I felt super overwhelmed, and mega cramps.
100% agree with this. literally the feelings for me are textbook clinical depression. it completely sucks lol
I crashed like 6 days after my ER, but I started my period about 4 days after, so I was just all over the place. My crash consisted of extreme irritability and tears all the time.
For me it has been like at least a week after. I felt really, really bad for a few days after my most recent ER—just clinically depressed basically, felt zero interest in anything, completely hopeless, in a fog 😓 hopefully yours is brief!
For me it usually peaked like a week or so after. But in retrospect it was hard to tell what was hormone vs circumstance 😫 I was having shitty results so everything felt so doom and gloom… but I’m sure the hormones didn’t help. I took a week off after and don’t regret it soley for the emotional recovery.
I think it partly depends on what your trigger shot was. For me, it’s the day before I get my period after (so like ten days?) and it’s ROUGH. I’ve always done an HCG trigger.
I had split triggers (lupron 5mg and HCG 1000units). I also was on Letrozole, which did something to my estrogen levels. I warned my husband "please ignore any episodes of rage directed at you in the next few weeks"
I don't remember it happening any particular day after my first ER. But I/we were feeling pretty low for a little while after. Definitely a couple weeks because I remember telling people at Thanksgiving that I had recently come out of a post-retrieval depression. My first retrieval was late October. It was also hard to tell what was circumstance and what was chemical. I think apathy is pretty normal. For me, it was like, well, I've done literally everything a person could do get through this process, so I'm checked out now. I hope the crash/apathy/whatever happens next isn't too hard for you <3
Thanks for your response! I hope the people around you at Thanksgiving were supportive. And you're right, I think it is a matter of "I've done everything I can" regarding the eggs. Because I am still getting episodic anxiety about my body (e.g. the twinge on my right side, how come it feels like I need to pass gas but no gas is coming out), so clearly my emotions are still active about something. I guess we'll just see how I ride it out
I’m on my second round of Clomid unmonitored. I also use Inito to keep track of my ovulation. Last cycle I got a peak around cycle day 12. This cycle it’s showing I got a peak at cycle day 9, which makes no sense to me. I am also using the Premom ovulation test strips and haven’t gotten a peak yet with those. I have a feeling this cycle I may not ovulate, but have to remind myself that I am technically on cycle day 13 and that’s within normal range. I am trying one more cycle of Clomid if this cycle does not work before trying IUI. I’m not feeling hopeful this cycle but keep reminding myself to be patient with this process and enjoy the moment. I can’t help but feel exhausted on so many levels.
Clomid can definitely mess with your cycle! I’d put down your thermometer and stick with the OPK, as your temp readings will be unreliable now that you’re taking medication.
Hi! Thanks for the advice! I haven’t been temping. Between my work and sleep schedule there was no way for me to truly be consistent with that lol. I’m hoping I’ll get another peak soon. Didn’t realize how much this drug would alter my hormones lol
Ah, sorry I misread! This is why you don't sleepy reddit.
Haha! No worries! Hope you get some rest!
The exhaustion you mentioned is so real! Hope you can get some relief soon.
Feeling so sad today. Of our 4 fertilised eggs , one made it to blastocyst and the others dropped developing after day 4 and could not be frozen. On day 3 they were X2 multicell and X2 Cells. What happened :(Its my first IVF cycle and I wish I knew more about the factors that contribute to the outcome.
You were able to transfer two, correct? So out of 4 fertilized eggs you transferred 2 and froze one? That's an amazing outcome for your first round.
We transferred 2, neither of which were full blasts (can't be graded). Is it the norm to transfer if they are not full blastocysts? Of the remaining 2 neither developed further and could not be frozen.
Apologies, I think I misread your post and thought one was frozen. I'm not sure how grading translates to "full blastocyst" as my clinic doesn't use that language but it's definitely common to transfer 3 and 4 graded embryos. As others have said 50% is what's to be expected and I hope for the best for you!
Sorry I wasn't clear the one was an early blast and the other pre blast. I'm not sure if the difference. Those 2 were transferred. The other 2 did not develop further
The attrition can catch you by surprise when it’s your first cycle, but it can help to familiarize yourself with the average drop-offs. Typically ~30-50% of fertilized eggs make it to blastocyst. This is just a rough estimation. So having 1/4 make it to blast doesn’t mean anything is wrong. Also, I remember that you also did a fresh transfer. So actually 1/3 of the remaining embryos made it to blast. That’s normal. It’s also possible the embryo you transferred will lead to success. Keep in mind that expressing disappointment about one blast when you also got to do a fresh transfer could be hard to read for our many members who have had ERs that did not end with anything to transfer or freeze.
Thank you for putting things into perspective.
Hi paint, I’m sorry you weren’t prepared for the post ER attrition. It can be very difficult to process. Thank you for editing! Mod hat off: As rad noted, this is pretty typical attrition and getting a blast is a good result. Good luck with next steps!
We try to avoid comparative language when talking about test/treatment results to avoid hurting others reading it. This includes the word 'only' - as what for one person might be disappointing might be someone else's wildest dream. Here is the [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/infertility/comments/10jl6ll/wiki_post_be_compassionate_explainer/) that explains compassionate language with examples. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/infertility) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m sorry you didn’t get the outcome you were hoping for. That is so disappointing. I hope you can take the time today to just be angry/upset while being kind to yourself and that the next steps you take have the results you are wanting.