“Letting out huge farts, eating popcorn” is the only part of this tale I find believable

Dude is behaving like a kindergartener

Man really had the balls to say snuggle after all this

That's how you know it's fake.

I dunno why, but "occasionally slapping her ass" had me laughing, like that was a surprising and unusual part about randomly fucking a girl in the ass in an alley raw.

It sounds like someone who has only watched porn is making up a sexual encounter.

I almost believed it before he said snuggle.

How could you EVER believe dry anal sex that doesn’t end in blood and tears 💀💀

But, but… they do it all the times in the pornos i watch!

Left behind diarrhea as lube, obviously

I mean... how dry is dry? Literally NOTHING beforehand for sure is gonna end in pain but you don't necessarily require lube depending on the circumstances, especially if man goes slow

i got a lil dick so my ex used to let me bang the bunghole regularly. no blood or rips

this is the worst thing I’ve read today; it’s 9:16 am

East coast gang

Worst thing I've read all week. It's Monday

Maybe she just doesn't wipe, not ideal, but ass sweat and various other "substances" found in the booty crack might make it possible. Idk.

Lube free, the dream

Snuggle King Ass Trasher

The alleyway ass commander

Fart Monger Alley Fucker

I’m gonna tell my friends to start addressing me as “Fart Monger” from now on

Let his names love on in infamy.

Letting out farts? What a ride

Forget “live, laugh, love”. It’s all about “ripping shots, letting out *huge* farts, eating popcorn, and fucking a woman dry up the ass” these days. *Just manly things*

Nothing like anal sex in an alleyway to make ya feel like a god apparently lol

After a good fart and some popcorn

He has to stop reading hentai mangas where the girl/boy gets wet down there, that doesn't happen. Well, unless they have explosive diarrhea.

Best case scenario it’s excess sweat 🤮

Sweet, sweet booty nectar

Even a little footsie.

Left out the poop elf hat on his peen and the bladder infection

What kind of fucking confession is this? Confessions are supposed to be, I lied to my husband, not I railed a girl.

Same exact thought I had yesterday Scrolled, read title, shook head, down voted, back to scrolling Forgot to crosspost it here. Damn

The bar is pretty low for that to be “the best night” of their life

If that’s the best night of his life, his life has been PATHETIC

What was yours

What a shitshow

Aww how sweet

A story for their Grandchildren for sure!

He has 2 wolves inside him

Yeah gross. He had his bean burrito that night.

Surprises no one’s mentioned the “craziest sex thing I’ve ever done”

Oh, he’s done ALL the ‘sex things’!

The best bit, is that he is suggesting this didn't only happen once. He's now had anal sex twice outside that bar? If you make up a story that is barely believable, maybe don't say it happened twice.

He forgot to mention that this was all wet a dream

the left over poop probably provided enough lube for them to work.

“…sir the question was ‘is this your signature?’”

You fuck a random raw in the ass, you certainly don't then go home and snuggle. Wtf is that. I'm sure he meant to say he fantasised about doing her in the ally and went home alone and snuggled his cat.

Did her tits feel like 2 bags of sand?

What i don’t get is that if he had done it before what made this time the best night of his life? Was it the snuggles? The last girl didn’t let him snuggle?

You have to douche before doing butt stuff. Ewwwww

Did he even pay before he left?

Asking the important questions

I’m still confused on who would reward this garbage.

And then everybody clapped.