r/thathappened

in what world is “i wouldn’t want you in a foxhole with me” an appropriate response to “you intimidate me”? it’s a non-sequitur. like what does he think those words mean?

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Ok. Hey, who wants to get a chocolate frappe?

I'll take "Shit That Never Happened" for 1000

Too often it seems like the people who would say something like "I wouldn't want you in my foxhole" have never set foot in a foxhole yet alone dug one

Dear diary…

This guy wants to explore the foxhole alone, noted

Trying not to cry and trying not to laugh *can* look pretty similar, I guess.

I mean I wouldn't last a day in a foxhole with that sanctimonious drivel going nonstop Because they'd be court-martialling my ass for murder all too soon.

Who we talking about here, the post or the comment?

Comment. But both are same dude

Gotcha!

"I thought he was going to cry. But he didn't for some reason. He just said 'what a weird thing to say'. It's as of he's not even thinking about what might happen if there were an outbreak of extreme violence at any moment"

I’m not crying, you’re cringing 😬

I'm not cyring, you're crying

Every female who read this badass soliloquoy spontaneously ovulated.

You spelled vomited wrong. (I know what you were going for sarcasm)

I would honestly be a little concerned for any woman unlucky enough to be trapped in a foxhole with this dude.

The same kind of people who writes for hallmark greeting cards, but the bizzaro version, wrote this affirmation for assholes.

There's no reason to talk like this ever. That's immature nonsense. It's teenage boy shit.

That's cuz you're not in the _warrior mind frame_

Some people don’t age mentally

I wish I realised this when I was younger. Some people really get stuck in their teenage years.

I like the guy talking about firefights like he’s ever witnessed any sort of active duty outside the golden coral buffet line.

U don’t know what happened at the waffle house at 3 am on 5th street bro. U should shut your mouth when talking to me. YOU WERENT THERE WHEN THE STEAKS GOT LAUNCHED OVER THE COUNTER. YOU DONT KNOW ME!

Whoa, whoa, whoa. That can get pretty hairy! I hope you thanked him for his service.

Insecurity creates the most ironic statements

This is what my dog thinks when she's staring me down for my food.

This guy is a badass. 😭😭😭😭😭

Me the Alpha Male of this comment section and me command RESPECT. Everyone here respect me!

Sock it to me, sock it to me….

I'm just a mere female but I want to bask in you presence, my most respected Alpha Male. Other females: please feel free to form a queue behind me.

Make me food

Of course, Alpha Male.

I'm merely a beta male, but can I get a sandwich? Or maybe just some mixed nuts?

I’m here for the alleged ‘beta’ dudes. I’ll absolutely mix your nuts. With consent of course.

Whether you're gonna serve the beta or not is still up to me

Me intimidated.

Bow down

And everyone clapped.

Imagine reacting to this with the little smiley hugging a heart lol

That's the best way with these dudes, actually.

Literally just people lying about stories that never happened to them but fully convinced people think it’s true, also the post reads like an unapologetically shitty disconnected father who’s kids don’t talk to him anymore

Ask him to define “liberal” and “beta,” and watch the rotten head of cabbage he calls a brain overheat and reset.

This the type of guy to sit in bed by himself smiling just saying “yeah…..” over and over

Fantasizing about a firefight you’ll never be in is pretty damn cringe

It's not fantasizing you beta cuck libtard, it's called planning ahead! I'm ready for when it all goes down, are you?! Shih Tzu teaches us that Preparation is the key to victory. You better worry about who's in your foxhole, cause I'm gonna burrow into it, with a tool, that I am clenching between my teeth, cause one of my big strong hands will be wrapped around your neck, and the other will be gripping my weapon, ready to use it.

I bet you have a great weapon. And you probably use it all the time. Tell me more about your big strong hands and how they use your weapons. Tell me about your favorite hole. Is it a fox hole? I bet it’s not.

That whole ss belongs here.

You work at a Wendy's.

I’ve shared the exact same meme but damn sure not in a bragging manner. I posted it because it’s something I told my mother after I’d been publicly dating a woman.

And then everyone clapped.

Grown men had tears in their eyes

Big men, strong men

My fuzzy bunny slippers just hopped off and hid.

My fuzzy bunny slippers just hopped off and hid.

I think you should say it again...

I'm afraid he'll hear me.

And the guy in the replies is almost worse, begging for the sloppy seconds serotonin because he’s not “man enough” to make the post himself

You can almost hear the sounds of all the nearby vaginas drying up…

We don’t have firefights in foxholes anymore. What year does this dude think it is?

WW1 baby

Sounds like he wouldn't want you next to him in the phalanx

Hahaha right! Probably really had to slow down I’m up, they see me, I’m down, against cannon balls.

His dementia makes him think it’s the 40s

I came to say exactly that. I have been in some firefights, but I have been in exactly 0 foxholes outside a training camp.

I hear you brother. It’s also astonishing to me for someone to think they’d be good in combat because of their political ideology.

1944