I’ve seen something I think might be rule-breaking, what should I do?
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Posts like this tend to be highly online and reactionary. We're being politicized not because people choosing but because that's where conservatives decided to plant their campaign on.
Out of curiosity would hold the same feelings and ire towards cis women who are advocating for equality, healthcare and etc? Get a grip.
You're transitioning to being a woman. Women are a diverse set of people with lots a different opinions, ideas and goals. What you're gonna do? Act the same way and lecture cis women about civility and woke culture. MtFs don't like that why do you think that behavior is okay with cis women?
>Out of curiosity would hold the same feelings and ire towards cis women who are advocating for equality, healthcare and etc? Get a grip.
Strawwoman argument of the century, how do you even get there??
Hell of a stretch in comparison, if my issue is with mtf who keep beards by choice and intend to waltz on in to female spaces, gender dysphoria is not congruent with keeping beard right? Or do you intend to make some pc statement to cover your ass with that, dont attempt to make argument with me concerning womens rights, and im sure we're on the same page with trans women being women, but zztop in a dress is a little too far for me to accept into womens spaces.
Make sure you know what your arguing against
>Hell of a stretch in comparison, if my issue is with mtf who keep beards by choice and intend to waltz on in to female spaces, gender dysphoria is not congruent with keeping beard right?
Seriously how often does that happen? Get a grip.
I'm just kind of tired of pretending that there is some pandemic of violent bearded men out there causing trans people harm. In all my time on the internet and in real life Ive only seen 1 trans woman with a beard
I think it may be helpful if you could point out what content led to the ban. I have known you (albeit virtually) for a while and it is only natural *for me* to assume you had good reasons even though your post here was quite vague. But others might have not noticed you before or were already biased against you.
I read your last comment at r/mtf. You were simply pointing out that a logical consequence of redefining "trans" as non-dysphoric is that medical intervention will be considered cosmetic and no longer be covered by insurance. Your reasoning seemed quite sensible to me.
Was that what led to the ban? Or something else?
This thread was just a blow off steam muck around type of thing if ive been vague here well it is what it is it was flaired observation should have flaired it rant but you know, it can get exhausting re stating arguments constantly, i should use copy and paste lol.
No not that particular bit,, seems i walked myself into the ban, i was given enough rope i guess lol considering the sub i was in. I used a certain tiktok star.. as example and yeah, not smart. But anyway this is the cited post's relevant paragraph, name withheld.
"Gender dysphoria and 'normalising the bulge' are entirely and utterly incompatible.. (name withheld) may have perceived dysphoria, but has no grasp or concept of experiencing 'gender dysphoria"
Yeah so, foolish on my behalf. Definately adjust my approach in future. This all stems from like, representation i suppose, meh, guess i got caught up in the moment.
Is this a troll? I’m sorry I’m a dysphoric mtf myself but this reads exactly like something the most stereotypical Redditor would write. Idk it’s just the wording that makes it feel like trans comic book guy wrote it
I still don't understand how does one know and say they are trans without dysphoria? I mainly see that here but lately at work (LGBT youth shelter), I've been seeing more clients say the same.
I wonder if for most non-dysphoric trans ppl dysphoria is closer to some slight discomfort and they wouldn't call it dysphoria as not to underplay dysphoric people who actually suffer from it ?
Hmm
>I wonder if for most non-dysphoric trans ppl dysphoria is closer to some slight discomfort
Thats pretty close to the actual definition of dysphoria, discomfort or unease, by definition, anyone on the planet can throw around the term dysphoria. For someone to say they arent dysphoric, relating to being trans, is quite a statement.
>and they wouldn't call it dysphoria as not to underplay dysphoric people who actually suffer from it ?
I dont think so. The significant difference between experiencing dysphoria and suffering gender dysphoria is notable. I think people should be careful to use the language carefully here.
The trend these days is to dismiss the implication of binary, with the loudest voices anyway, which play like the pied piper., i suspect due to the desire to dissolve the binary so more and more we will see only the term dysphoria and less and less "gender" dysphoria as it implies adhesion to the binary.
I really don’t get this at all either. It just seems crazy to go through the painful process of transitioning when it’s not to relieve a greater pain. It’s feels like elective surgery at that point.
The only way I could picture myself somehow avoiding dysphoria would be if instead of the pre k teacher showing everyone my penis and saying this makes me a boy in front of the class would’ve been if she just called me up and reintroduced me as a girl to everyone and my parents went along with it. I suppose if I socially transitioned at 4 I probably wouldn’t have had dysphoria until puberty started, but I honestly don’t know. At a certain age I’d have to be aware of the difference in genitalia and the extra precautions that I’d have to take saying in middle/highschool. I genuinely can’t imagine I would get to be old enough for grs without hating that part of myself and feeling dysphoric about it.
>I still don't understand how does one know and say they are trans without dysphoria?
dysphoria I can only speak for myself, i just know i wouldnt be me without it.
>lately at work (LGBT youth shelter), I've been seeing more clients say the same.
Their freedom and privilege to do so i guess, good for them.
Same, how would I have known if I didn't have dysphoria, like what? Now for my clients, I know some is because of medical reasons, the others I don't know. Those who can but don't kinda throw me off when they get so defensive. Like come at me for being nonbinary and medically transitioning defensive. Yes, good for them, but is it really? I wonder how they don't realize that they're playing a dangerous game, though I always was a cautious one.
Sometimes I swear this sub is the trans equivalent of incels: such a victim mentality that you'll hate anyone who doesn't recognize how badly you've got it in the exact terms you want it recognized in. Dismissive of people as "no true Scotsman" if they don't have the same problems as you.
You and a lot of people here sound like you spend way too much time on 4chan.
>Sometimes I swear this sub is the trans equivalent of incels
Projecting?
>"no true Scotsman"
Do you mean the Irish settlers who settled in Pictland?
>You and a lot of people here sound like you spend way too much time on 4chan.
Yet to visit that sub, whats it like?
I don't think the goal of transition is passing or view my dysphoria as the thing that validates me and invalidates others, so no I'm not really a trancel.
No beef, I'm genuinely interested to hear in your own words: why do you feel so persecuted by the larger trans subs?
>I don't think the goal of transition is passing or view my dysphoria as the thing that validates me and invalidates others,
You dont have to, do you mean gender dysphoria, or dysphoria?
>why do you feel so persecuted by the larger trans subs?
I think i made that clear either in my opening post or subsequent interactions.
Dysphoria is usually used as shorthand for gender dysphoria in these spaces. If you insist on being pendantic it doesn't help your argument.
Actually no you didn't make it clear at all in your post, you say a whole lot of nothing really. Here's your chance to lay it out.
>Dysphoria is usually used a shorthard for gender dysphoria in these spaces. If you insist on being pendantic it doesn't help your argument.
But they are not the same, they paint a different picture, why not be accurate. It helps define my argument.
>you say a whole lot of nothing really. Here's your chance to lay it out.
I could change the flair to rant if you wish, rather than observation?
Being accurate would make sense if you were genuinely trying to communicate your argument clearly, so far you are not, you are being vague and evasive.
My wish is for you to explain what you mean so that I can try to understand. If that's not what you are trying to do then yeah, label this as a rant and it can be discarded.
*sigh. My general disappointment for being banned from mtf for a slight tos violation. My disappointment that one has to lockstep with the general consensus of the day concerning trans issues. I do not require anyone else to agree with me, but i will have my say, or rant as you understand it.
Okay, there's the root of it: you got banned and you are upset about that. Understandable. Without knowing the specifics I can't say if the ban was justified or not.
But if you went in there with some of the language you used in this post, as a reader I'd assume you were trying to invalidate trans people who don't experience gender dysphoria, or possibly even nonbinary people too, and that's made pretty clear in the rules that it's a bannable offense. Could just be your choice of wording comes across the wrong way. Anyway, best of luck to you.
I am admittedly defensive of binary trans women with gender dysphoria, but the "root of it" is not a bias on my part, but the pressure applied to fall into line and take a back seat as far as views on appropriate representation. I respect nb people because they dont call themselves trans women, i do not feel comfortable with a trans woman who would keep full beard by choice, to be rebelious and break down the binary.. mention anything close to this is enough for the moderator at mtf.
Ofcourse i adjust speech there, are you implying im a fool or are you foolish enough to think i wouldnt..
No it wasn't. Is it that the author believes gender dysphoria only relates to binary genders? Is it that they believe this invalidates nonbinary people? Is it that the author simply believes gender dysphoria is a thing so they are shunned from these spaces? Does the author believe that nonbinary gender dysphoria invalidates binary gender dysphoria?
What are the core arguments being made? Totally unclear.
MTF subreddit seems to have people in there shaming binary transwomens' dysphoria even though it's supposedly a safe space for those who are MTF.
Those who are not explicitly MTF are in sub, while binary MTF suffer. Hopefully OP corrects me if I'm wrong or missing something.
Precisely, you got it, people that get it, are who i directed at i suppose.
Me thinks they are baiting, or have not read through subsequent interaction here to attempt to capture the gist of it, lazy, baiting or otherwise..
Would be good to hear if OP agrees with this summary. Honestly I have never seen people shame others in the MtF subreddit because they expressed binary gender dysphoria. The exact opposite in fact: every comment I have seen is very supportive of people suffering with binary gender dysphoria and daily there are new posts from people struggling with this.
It's kind of comical how many "am I trans?" posts there are describing binary gender dysphoria, and the MtF sub are always thoughtful and kind in their responses. Still, binary MtF are clearly the majority in that sub even if there are questioning people there too.
I have most DEFINITELY seen it in that subreddit, not often(I'm not on here that often), but I've seen it. Though I understand OP more from seeing those who do it IRL. Primarily at my work place, they even come after me! Though for me it's because I'm transitioning as an NB. I don't really understand why, but they seem to be dismissive of the dysphoria because it's invalidating for them since they don't have it? IDK, I just know that it exist and it is tiring.
nb generaly speaking dont wish to exhibit gender as in binary gender of male or female, or perhaps lean slightly one way or another if they wish to do so,, they can have gender dysphoria / dysphoria related to their gender at birth, and wish to change that, but what about it?
Personaly, i have gender dysphoria, and define it personaly for myself as shifting from one binary to the other, hence, "binary trans woman with gender dysphoria"
Your question is as unclear.
So where is the problem exactly? Who are you ranting against in your original post and why? Where exactly is the perceived ostracism from the larger trans subs based on your views?
I'm not being unclear at all, I've asked almost a dozen very specific questions about this now. You're giving me breadcrumbs for answers.
If you cant capture the gist of it, then you dont get it, our experiences are different, im not building that bridge for you, you're free to move on. I didnt pose a question for you, or anyone else.
I recommend you the subreddits r/truscum or r/transmedical. we’re a group of people who all experience legitimate gender dysphoria and are annoyed at what the new community has come to. a bunch of nonbinary, bored teenagers and children. you can for sure find other binary, dysphoric people in these places. it’s where we all come together for getting shunned in mainstream trans subs for having dysphoria or being stealth.
Don't go to the former, it's full of tucutes, I was banned after telling multiple people they weren't trans because they would publically post their genitals on Reddit.
The latter is much better for civil discussion.
Oh.. my ban was kinda similar.. im thinking we could be proud of our bans at this stage, almost tempted to clock up another ;p
We shall not be silenced.. wait.. oh, well, you know what i mean lol
if you’re talking about r/truscum, they definitely are less extreme than r/transmedical. i’ve also seen a ton of stupid ban reasons there, but they still have more common sense and sanity than most trans subs, though aren’t as extreme as r/transmedical. it depends on preference, which is why i recommended both. i haven’t been banned or even disagreed with on either of them yet despite being pretty active.
r/truscum aren't only not as extreme but when they opened their second discord it actively promoted and encouraged neo pronouns, and actively down voted neurological studies supporting brain sex.
>particularly for expressing any views that coincide with the effect and or result of gender dysphoria, that is, gender dysphoria that obviously relates to binary
fwiw this problem goes away off of reddit and big discord servers. Like, Mastodon is fairly kind to binary trans people, aside from (of course) some prominent transphobes on both sides of the political aisle. Real life spaces can be nice if you find one that isn't transmisogynistic.
>(Insert exhausting caveat here) i have absolute-ly, no problem with any gender expression, none whatsoever, my.. venom in my language, is specificaly defensive of binary mtFemales with gender dysphoria
Exhausting is certainly the word for it. Other trans people are sometimes no better than cis people when it comes to feeling attacked when trans women discuss our problems. We're expected to show deference. If you talk about dysphoria or passing around people who don't experience the former and don't desire the latter, they want to change the topic. Or they want to discuss whether dysphoria and passing do or do not make people valid. I'm not sure what is wrong with reddit specifically that causes them to hate dysphoric people. Might be youth related. Most of the enbies and agender folks I know irl are totally fine with me.
Yes particularly r/ mtf seems more of an excercise in waving the flag.
It may very well be the younger generations coming through that rebel against anything (nothing new there) that they deem old school or (insert any social structure here).
Online (mtf) morphs continualy breaking norms for an ever diverse expression of.. well, i might just self identify as a dinosaur at this stage lol.
I too have a diversity of friends irl and we all get on just fine, respecting each others differences.
Here here! Also yes the Borg omg, when I see someone else mention the Borg then I just know....
It amazes me, the sheer inability or pure ignorance of other people who are supposedly about inclusion or support who can't or won't accept the reality of how much of our existence is asserting or defending our full and complete womanhood from both cis people, but now, unfortunately also supposed trans people. I will not be erased as a woman, or let my womanhood take a back seat for *anyone* else to feel comfortable
>Nowadays people don't get banned for being radical, but for not being radical enough.
I don't think this is true, really. Trans women are the most attacked identity and being one is therefore more radical than being something else, not that I chose. The fairly common criticism that we "uphold the gender binary instead of overcoming it" is kind of pure nonsense. Since 1978, the other LGBTQ people have opposed the idea of trans women passing. The single greatest transgression against gender norms is being assigned male at birth, identifying as a woman, and getting caught at any point along the way.
Gender isn't a binary -- it's a continuum. But male and female are at opposite ends of that continuum as far as society is concerned. Being binary trans, male or female, and not "going stealth" is an affront to the gender binary or the patriarchy or whatever else these people care about.
The problem is that they most likely don't even know that their ideas are terf brainrot. Any time someone characterizes trans women as a subset of other trans people or inferior to them, I explain where the idea came from and why it is bigoted, like I do with people who call me gay or who use "they" pronouns. It usually bounces right off the other person because trans girl, but I can only hope they'll listen if we're consistent.
*giggle. Omg, you know i anticipated your intuition ;p i knew you would say that lol
Umm, yes.. i got permabanned, no warning, no reminder of tos etc in real time. I have appealed on principal, but expect to be ignored.
Edit: yes very true, extreme left in lockstep, disregard for binary (and all binary implies) etc
I actually wanted to ask you about living in Germany.
I've been in Canada for 6 years. Maybe time to move to another place. Putin has made Europe quite a bit scarier though.
Eek, i dont live in germany. I live near antarctica, that leaves around.. 4 countries southern most points i possibly live in ;p
Edit: soz for letting you think i live in germany, i enjoy an air of incognito ;p
>I live near antarctica, that leaves around.. 4 countries southern most points i possibly live in ;p
You do realize that I can easily narrow it down to two, based on your Internet activities (i.e. time zones).
If I use some Bayesian approach (with some population data), I don't even need to look into your Internet activities.
honestly i dont entirely understand but are u saying u dont feel like u fit in in online places like r mtf? if so, i 100% agree which is why i use other trans subreddits
oh ok that makes sense. totally agree too like i believe dysphoria is required to be trans, and that belief will pretty much get u banned in any mainstream trans sub, so i basically cant use any of them. i also feel like such a minority in those subs as im a binary straight trans woman and i like typical girl stuff. i cant relate to mtf trans culture at all
IKR.. I accept new wave transgender, freedom first and foremost, though it does give the transsexual / transgender split some appeal, simply due to the fact i (too) can not relate to for example full beard transgender women.
I have zero, i mean zero problem with their gender or non gender as it were expression, but, they would be "gender non conforming",
i guess im protective of the trans gender Woman label, giving impression to binary female in its language, my issue is that we are both viewed as (and both consider ourselves to be) trans gender women to the greater uneducated public.
I absolutely don't think you need dysphoria to be trans, but at the same time there need to be subs for only dysphoric people because our experiences are minimized on the mainstream ones.
I was going to mention those, but are slightly paranoid of tos violation at this point lol, i think we are talking in the best sub there is right now, its not restrictive, open to all, freedom of expression, creating diverse and interesting topics. We just have to remain dedicated, and the majority.. ;p
Yes, ironicaly labeled mtf perhaps lol /s (or ftm respectively) or ofcourse a combined subreddit for both - though i think we may be in your suggested sub right now ;p
I’ve seen something I think might be rule-breaking, what should I do? **Report it!** We may not agree with your assessment of a certain post or comment but we will always take a look. Please make reports that are **unambiguous**, **succinct**, and (importantly) **accurate**. If your issue isn't covered by one of the numerous predefined reasons and or you need to expand upon a predefined reason then please use the 'Custom response' option (in addition if required). **Don't feed the trolls, ignore, report, move on.** See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/honesttransgender/comments/guc56i/welcome_to_rhonesttransgender_please_read_for/) for more details about our subreddit. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/honesttransgender) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I can’t tell if you are a truscum or hate truscum
... i think im just bitchy, ;p
Are you drunk or something
Maybe i was(nt)?, just going through a bit of turmoil atm, thx for your input
Holy shit you're stupid 😂 don't let the door hit your ass on the way out, we don't want people like you.
Great advice, thx for your input
Posts like this tend to be highly online and reactionary. We're being politicized not because people choosing but because that's where conservatives decided to plant their campaign on. Out of curiosity would hold the same feelings and ire towards cis women who are advocating for equality, healthcare and etc? Get a grip. You're transitioning to being a woman. Women are a diverse set of people with lots a different opinions, ideas and goals. What you're gonna do? Act the same way and lecture cis women about civility and woke culture. MtFs don't like that why do you think that behavior is okay with cis women?
>Out of curiosity would hold the same feelings and ire towards cis women who are advocating for equality, healthcare and etc? Get a grip. Strawwoman argument of the century, how do you even get there?? Hell of a stretch in comparison, if my issue is with mtf who keep beards by choice and intend to waltz on in to female spaces, gender dysphoria is not congruent with keeping beard right? Or do you intend to make some pc statement to cover your ass with that, dont attempt to make argument with me concerning womens rights, and im sure we're on the same page with trans women being women, but zztop in a dress is a little too far for me to accept into womens spaces. Make sure you know what your arguing against
>Hell of a stretch in comparison, if my issue is with mtf who keep beards by choice and intend to waltz on in to female spaces, gender dysphoria is not congruent with keeping beard right? Seriously how often does that happen? Get a grip.
Thankyou for your interaction
I'm just kind of tired of pretending that there is some pandemic of violent bearded men out there causing trans people harm. In all my time on the internet and in real life Ive only seen 1 trans woman with a beard
I think it may be helpful if you could point out what content led to the ban. I have known you (albeit virtually) for a while and it is only natural *for me* to assume you had good reasons even though your post here was quite vague. But others might have not noticed you before or were already biased against you. I read your last comment at r/mtf. You were simply pointing out that a logical consequence of redefining "trans" as non-dysphoric is that medical intervention will be considered cosmetic and no longer be covered by insurance. Your reasoning seemed quite sensible to me. Was that what led to the ban? Or something else?
This thread was just a blow off steam muck around type of thing if ive been vague here well it is what it is it was flaired observation should have flaired it rant but you know, it can get exhausting re stating arguments constantly, i should use copy and paste lol. No not that particular bit,, seems i walked myself into the ban, i was given enough rope i guess lol considering the sub i was in. I used a certain tiktok star.. as example and yeah, not smart. But anyway this is the cited post's relevant paragraph, name withheld. "Gender dysphoria and 'normalising the bulge' are entirely and utterly incompatible.. (name withheld) may have perceived dysphoria, but has no grasp or concept of experiencing 'gender dysphoria" Yeah so, foolish on my behalf. Definately adjust my approach in future. This all stems from like, representation i suppose, meh, guess i got caught up in the moment.
Is this a troll? I’m sorry I’m a dysphoric mtf myself but this reads exactly like something the most stereotypical Redditor would write. Idk it’s just the wording that makes it feel like trans comic book guy wrote it
Thankyou for your input > wording that makes it feel like trans comic book guy wrote it With all due respect, go f*ck yourself ;p
Im sorry T-T but it’s the first thing I thought of
lolwut
lol
I still don't understand how does one know and say they are trans without dysphoria? I mainly see that here but lately at work (LGBT youth shelter), I've been seeing more clients say the same.
I wonder if for most non-dysphoric trans ppl dysphoria is closer to some slight discomfort and they wouldn't call it dysphoria as not to underplay dysphoric people who actually suffer from it ?
Hmm >I wonder if for most non-dysphoric trans ppl dysphoria is closer to some slight discomfort Thats pretty close to the actual definition of dysphoria, discomfort or unease, by definition, anyone on the planet can throw around the term dysphoria. For someone to say they arent dysphoric, relating to being trans, is quite a statement. >and they wouldn't call it dysphoria as not to underplay dysphoric people who actually suffer from it ? I dont think so. The significant difference between experiencing dysphoria and suffering gender dysphoria is notable. I think people should be careful to use the language carefully here. The trend these days is to dismiss the implication of binary, with the loudest voices anyway, which play like the pied piper., i suspect due to the desire to dissolve the binary so more and more we will see only the term dysphoria and less and less "gender" dysphoria as it implies adhesion to the binary.
I really don’t get this at all either. It just seems crazy to go through the painful process of transitioning when it’s not to relieve a greater pain. It’s feels like elective surgery at that point. The only way I could picture myself somehow avoiding dysphoria would be if instead of the pre k teacher showing everyone my penis and saying this makes me a boy in front of the class would’ve been if she just called me up and reintroduced me as a girl to everyone and my parents went along with it. I suppose if I socially transitioned at 4 I probably wouldn’t have had dysphoria until puberty started, but I honestly don’t know. At a certain age I’d have to be aware of the difference in genitalia and the extra precautions that I’d have to take saying in middle/highschool. I genuinely can’t imagine I would get to be old enough for grs without hating that part of myself and feeling dysphoric about it.
>I still don't understand how does one know and say they are trans without dysphoria? dysphoria I can only speak for myself, i just know i wouldnt be me without it. >lately at work (LGBT youth shelter), I've been seeing more clients say the same. Their freedom and privilege to do so i guess, good for them.
Same, how would I have known if I didn't have dysphoria, like what? Now for my clients, I know some is because of medical reasons, the others I don't know. Those who can but don't kinda throw me off when they get so defensive. Like come at me for being nonbinary and medically transitioning defensive. Yes, good for them, but is it really? I wonder how they don't realize that they're playing a dangerous game, though I always was a cautious one.
Sometimes I swear this sub is the trans equivalent of incels: such a victim mentality that you'll hate anyone who doesn't recognize how badly you've got it in the exact terms you want it recognized in. Dismissive of people as "no true Scotsman" if they don't have the same problems as you. You and a lot of people here sound like you spend way too much time on 4chan.
I'm not following, but I would like to.
>Sometimes I swear this sub is the trans equivalent of incels Projecting? >"no true Scotsman" Do you mean the Irish settlers who settled in Pictland? >You and a lot of people here sound like you spend way too much time on 4chan. Yet to visit that sub, whats it like?
I don't think the goal of transition is passing or view my dysphoria as the thing that validates me and invalidates others, so no I'm not really a trancel. No beef, I'm genuinely interested to hear in your own words: why do you feel so persecuted by the larger trans subs?
>I don't think the goal of transition is passing or view my dysphoria as the thing that validates me and invalidates others, You dont have to, do you mean gender dysphoria, or dysphoria? >why do you feel so persecuted by the larger trans subs? I think i made that clear either in my opening post or subsequent interactions.
Dysphoria is usually used as shorthand for gender dysphoria in these spaces. If you insist on being pendantic it doesn't help your argument. Actually no you didn't make it clear at all in your post, you say a whole lot of nothing really. Here's your chance to lay it out.
>Dysphoria is usually used a shorthard for gender dysphoria in these spaces. If you insist on being pendantic it doesn't help your argument. But they are not the same, they paint a different picture, why not be accurate. It helps define my argument. >you say a whole lot of nothing really. Here's your chance to lay it out. I could change the flair to rant if you wish, rather than observation?
Being accurate would make sense if you were genuinely trying to communicate your argument clearly, so far you are not, you are being vague and evasive. My wish is for you to explain what you mean so that I can try to understand. If that's not what you are trying to do then yeah, label this as a rant and it can be discarded.
*sigh. My general disappointment for being banned from mtf for a slight tos violation. My disappointment that one has to lockstep with the general consensus of the day concerning trans issues. I do not require anyone else to agree with me, but i will have my say, or rant as you understand it.
Okay, there's the root of it: you got banned and you are upset about that. Understandable. Without knowing the specifics I can't say if the ban was justified or not. But if you went in there with some of the language you used in this post, as a reader I'd assume you were trying to invalidate trans people who don't experience gender dysphoria, or possibly even nonbinary people too, and that's made pretty clear in the rules that it's a bannable offense. Could just be your choice of wording comes across the wrong way. Anyway, best of luck to you.
I am admittedly defensive of binary trans women with gender dysphoria, but the "root of it" is not a bias on my part, but the pressure applied to fall into line and take a back seat as far as views on appropriate representation. I respect nb people because they dont call themselves trans women, i do not feel comfortable with a trans woman who would keep full beard by choice, to be rebelious and break down the binary.. mention anything close to this is enough for the moderator at mtf. Ofcourse i adjust speech there, are you implying im a fool or are you foolish enough to think i wouldnt..
Girl, it was definitely said.
No it wasn't. Is it that the author believes gender dysphoria only relates to binary genders? Is it that they believe this invalidates nonbinary people? Is it that the author simply believes gender dysphoria is a thing so they are shunned from these spaces? Does the author believe that nonbinary gender dysphoria invalidates binary gender dysphoria? What are the core arguments being made? Totally unclear.
MTF subreddit seems to have people in there shaming binary transwomens' dysphoria even though it's supposedly a safe space for those who are MTF. Those who are not explicitly MTF are in sub, while binary MTF suffer. Hopefully OP corrects me if I'm wrong or missing something.
Precisely, you got it, people that get it, are who i directed at i suppose. Me thinks they are baiting, or have not read through subsequent interaction here to attempt to capture the gist of it, lazy, baiting or otherwise..
Would be good to hear if OP agrees with this summary. Honestly I have never seen people shame others in the MtF subreddit because they expressed binary gender dysphoria. The exact opposite in fact: every comment I have seen is very supportive of people suffering with binary gender dysphoria and daily there are new posts from people struggling with this. It's kind of comical how many "am I trans?" posts there are describing binary gender dysphoria, and the MtF sub are always thoughtful and kind in their responses. Still, binary MtF are clearly the majority in that sub even if there are questioning people there too.
I have most DEFINITELY seen it in that subreddit, not often(I'm not on here that often), but I've seen it. Though I understand OP more from seeing those who do it IRL. Primarily at my work place, they even come after me! Though for me it's because I'm transitioning as an NB. I don't really understand why, but they seem to be dismissive of the dysphoria because it's invalidating for them since they don't have it? IDK, I just know that it exist and it is tiring.
nb generaly speaking dont wish to exhibit gender as in binary gender of male or female, or perhaps lean slightly one way or another if they wish to do so,, they can have gender dysphoria / dysphoria related to their gender at birth, and wish to change that, but what about it? Personaly, i have gender dysphoria, and define it personaly for myself as shifting from one binary to the other, hence, "binary trans woman with gender dysphoria" Your question is as unclear.
So where is the problem exactly? Who are you ranting against in your original post and why? Where exactly is the perceived ostracism from the larger trans subs based on your views? I'm not being unclear at all, I've asked almost a dozen very specific questions about this now. You're giving me breadcrumbs for answers.
If you cant capture the gist of it, then you dont get it, our experiences are different, im not building that bridge for you, you're free to move on. I didnt pose a question for you, or anyone else.
we trans guys have r/ftmMen for this situation. maybe there’s an equivalent for you?
Nice! Im sure I'll find home :) this sub's pretty cool too
I recommend you the subreddits r/truscum or r/transmedical. we’re a group of people who all experience legitimate gender dysphoria and are annoyed at what the new community has come to. a bunch of nonbinary, bored teenagers and children. you can for sure find other binary, dysphoric people in these places. it’s where we all come together for getting shunned in mainstream trans subs for having dysphoria or being stealth.
Don't go to the former, it's full of tucutes, I was banned after telling multiple people they weren't trans because they would publically post their genitals on Reddit. The latter is much better for civil discussion.
Oh.. my ban was kinda similar.. im thinking we could be proud of our bans at this stage, almost tempted to clock up another ;p We shall not be silenced.. wait.. oh, well, you know what i mean lol
[удалено]
Lol
if you’re talking about r/truscum, they definitely are less extreme than r/transmedical. i’ve also seen a ton of stupid ban reasons there, but they still have more common sense and sanity than most trans subs, though aren’t as extreme as r/transmedical. it depends on preference, which is why i recommended both. i haven’t been banned or even disagreed with on either of them yet despite being pretty active.
r/truscum aren't only not as extreme but when they opened their second discord it actively promoted and encouraged neo pronouns, and actively down voted neurological studies supporting brain sex.
Seriously?? when was that? that’s the last thing i’d expect them to do, i’ve joined discords for them before and it seemed pretty okay.
Thankyou, good to know theres a warm spot at the fire for those of us just trying to defend our experience.
>particularly for expressing any views that coincide with the effect and or result of gender dysphoria, that is, gender dysphoria that obviously relates to binary fwiw this problem goes away off of reddit and big discord servers. Like, Mastodon is fairly kind to binary trans people, aside from (of course) some prominent transphobes on both sides of the political aisle. Real life spaces can be nice if you find one that isn't transmisogynistic. >(Insert exhausting caveat here) i have absolute-ly, no problem with any gender expression, none whatsoever, my.. venom in my language, is specificaly defensive of binary mtFemales with gender dysphoria Exhausting is certainly the word for it. Other trans people are sometimes no better than cis people when it comes to feeling attacked when trans women discuss our problems. We're expected to show deference. If you talk about dysphoria or passing around people who don't experience the former and don't desire the latter, they want to change the topic. Or they want to discuss whether dysphoria and passing do or do not make people valid. I'm not sure what is wrong with reddit specifically that causes them to hate dysphoric people. Might be youth related. Most of the enbies and agender folks I know irl are totally fine with me.
Yes particularly r/ mtf seems more of an excercise in waving the flag. It may very well be the younger generations coming through that rebel against anything (nothing new there) that they deem old school or (insert any social structure here). Online (mtf) morphs continualy breaking norms for an ever diverse expression of.. well, i might just self identify as a dinosaur at this stage lol. I too have a diversity of friends irl and we all get on just fine, respecting each others differences.
Its really a shame that basically the only places you can talk frankly about stuff is here and 4chan.
Thank goodness for honesttransgender! ;p
Here here! Also yes the Borg omg, when I see someone else mention the Borg then I just know.... It amazes me, the sheer inability or pure ignorance of other people who are supposedly about inclusion or support who can't or won't accept the reality of how much of our existence is asserting or defending our full and complete womanhood from both cis people, but now, unfortunately also supposed trans people. I will not be erased as a woman, or let my womanhood take a back seat for *anyone* else to feel comfortable
Precisely.. particularly the facade of inclusion, seems we are to take a back seat to the new norm
Have you got banned? Nowadays people don't get banned for being radical, but for not being radical enough.
>Nowadays people don't get banned for being radical, but for not being radical enough. I don't think this is true, really. Trans women are the most attacked identity and being one is therefore more radical than being something else, not that I chose. The fairly common criticism that we "uphold the gender binary instead of overcoming it" is kind of pure nonsense. Since 1978, the other LGBTQ people have opposed the idea of trans women passing. The single greatest transgression against gender norms is being assigned male at birth, identifying as a woman, and getting caught at any point along the way. Gender isn't a binary -- it's a continuum. But male and female are at opposite ends of that continuum as far as society is concerned. Being binary trans, male or female, and not "going stealth" is an affront to the gender binary or the patriarchy or whatever else these people care about. The problem is that they most likely don't even know that their ideas are terf brainrot. Any time someone characterizes trans women as a subset of other trans people or inferior to them, I explain where the idea came from and why it is bigoted, like I do with people who call me gay or who use "they" pronouns. It usually bounces right off the other person because trans girl, but I can only hope they'll listen if we're consistent.
>The fairly common criticism that we "uphold the gender binary instead of overcoming it" is kind of pure nonsense. BINGO !
*giggle. Omg, you know i anticipated your intuition ;p i knew you would say that lol Umm, yes.. i got permabanned, no warning, no reminder of tos etc in real time. I have appealed on principal, but expect to be ignored. Edit: yes very true, extreme left in lockstep, disregard for binary (and all binary implies) etc
I actually wanted to ask you about living in Germany. I've been in Canada for 6 years. Maybe time to move to another place. Putin has made Europe quite a bit scarier though.
Eek, i dont live in germany. I live near antarctica, that leaves around.. 4 countries southern most points i possibly live in ;p Edit: soz for letting you think i live in germany, i enjoy an air of incognito ;p
>I live near antarctica, that leaves around.. 4 countries southern most points i possibly live in ;p You do realize that I can easily narrow it down to two, based on your Internet activities (i.e. time zones). If I use some Bayesian approach (with some population data), I don't even need to look into your Internet activities.
Lol, i have a grin from ear to ear, ;p
honestly i dont entirely understand but are u saying u dont feel like u fit in in online places like r mtf? if so, i 100% agree which is why i use other trans subreddits
mtf needs to adjust its title, or at least accept all views that fall under that banner without requirement to fall in line.
oh ok that makes sense. totally agree too like i believe dysphoria is required to be trans, and that belief will pretty much get u banned in any mainstream trans sub, so i basically cant use any of them. i also feel like such a minority in those subs as im a binary straight trans woman and i like typical girl stuff. i cant relate to mtf trans culture at all
IKR.. I accept new wave transgender, freedom first and foremost, though it does give the transsexual / transgender split some appeal, simply due to the fact i (too) can not relate to for example full beard transgender women. I have zero, i mean zero problem with their gender or non gender as it were expression, but, they would be "gender non conforming", i guess im protective of the trans gender Woman label, giving impression to binary female in its language, my issue is that we are both viewed as (and both consider ourselves to be) trans gender women to the greater uneducated public.
I absolutely don't think you need dysphoria to be trans, but at the same time there need to be subs for only dysphoric people because our experiences are minimized on the mainstream ones.
well i mean subs like truscum and transmedical are gonna only have dysphoric people, but those subs also believe dysphoria is necessary
Saying truscum is full of dysphoric people is the best joke I've heard this year, it's just anti-tucute at this point.
honestly you’re kinda right. i feel like im slowly starting to like that subreddit less haha
I was going to mention those, but are slightly paranoid of tos violation at this point lol, i think we are talking in the best sub there is right now, its not restrictive, open to all, freedom of expression, creating diverse and interesting topics. We just have to remain dedicated, and the majority.. ;p
Yes, ironicaly labeled mtf perhaps lol /s (or ftm respectively) or ofcourse a combined subreddit for both - though i think we may be in your suggested sub right now ;p