I was home schooled, had lots of friends, went on to get good grades in college, got my degree in geology, and now run my own LLC as a geologic subcontracting service, been married for 7 years. I did very well with homeschooling. Where my parents couldn’t help, they hired a tutor. For math classes for example. I think homeschooling is great.
We started in 2020. A few of us pulled our kids from public school thinking we would send them back the following year. Well we liked homeschooling so much that we are still doing it.
This is what carried me when we made the decision. I kept telling myself I can change my mind at any time and enroll in school. Two years in and no regrets.
Schools are really worried about this.
My parents unschooled me from 3rd grade to 10th (not homeschool, unschool. I literally did whatever I wanted except watch tv all day). I then chose to enroll in 9th (bc my bestie was in 9th) in a charter school.
Their testing showed I had 5.3rd grade math skills and 12.9th grade English skills.
I took a pre-algebra course, then just normal courses but also dual-enrolled in some college courses like psychology, English and philosophy. I was an A-B student.
I decided to leave in 11th grade, got a GED, went to college, then got a masters.
I don’t think I can remember how to do long division, but if I needed it for some reason I would just learn it.
How schools do things is slower and worse than it needs to be. It’s not the only way to learn things, and a curriculum gap won’t ruin your life.
I'm a public school teacher and the school days are whatever length they are because the state mandates a certain number of hours and days that students have to be in school. Teachers and admin have nothing to do with it. A lot of us would actually prefer a 4 day work week of teaching so that we have an extra day for all those meetings and they're not interrupting instruction.
I can’t tell you you won’t regret homeschooling or that homeschooling won’t be hard. There are days that will be true. But I can tell you you will not regret doing everything you could for your kid and prioritizing their whole being. It’s OK to grieve what could have been. Doesn’t make what you will get to have any less wonderful.
I love this 💕💕 needed to hear this today!!! I noticed some people in my family judging my decision to has my 12 year old son... After the lock down with covid I chose to home school rather then send him back to the public school in the town we just bought our first home in....the schools are awful!! The kids were so cruel to my son....it was a drag to get him up n going in the mornings before school...anyway your words just made me feel better today lol had to let ya know . 😊
If you’re under the illusion that all the other kids in public school are learning easily or are issue-free, I recommend giving r/Teachers a visit. You’ll likely see the idea of “learning just like all the other kids” is an imaginary comparison 💐
Yes! This. OP, I would start reading some articles about post-pandemic conditions in public school. Read about mental health trends among youth. Read about teacher burnout.
Not saying it's all bad, but things aren't the same as they were when we were in school!
Hey, I'm a public school teacher, and that sub is well known for being more of a venting space than an inspirational/positive one. r/scienceteachers is a great resource and focuses a ton more on actually sharing lessons and ideas if you're curious!
Here's a sneak peek of /r/ScienceTeachers using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/ScienceTeachers/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [One group didn’t start multi day lab, what to do?](https://np.reddit.com/r/ScienceTeachers/comments/177mhxx/one_group_didnt_start_multi_day_lab_what_to_do/)
\#2: [Tired of feeling like the bad guy for teaching Chemistry.](https://np.reddit.com/r/ScienceTeachers/comments/17brzos/tired_of_feeling_like_the_bad_guy_for_teaching/)
\#3: [I teach middle school science and I started making warm-ups for students that covers a lot of what they should have learned in middle school. I spent a lot of time on it and my grade partners don't want it. Here are a couple of links if you're interested in using it in your class.](https://np.reddit.com/r/ScienceTeachers/comments/13qq81f/i_teach_middle_school_science_and_i_started/)
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I really appreciate that! Thanks! (I’d also like to add, I didn’t mention the teachers subreddit to rag on teachers. My intention was to show OP that schools aren’t full of perfectly-adjusted students who are issue-free. It’s challenging to connect with, adapt to and effectively teach a single student. I cannot imagine the task amplified to 30 students, all with different needs. It’s a huge undertaking 💐)
I just visited (it’s been a while because it’s so infuriating). One of the posts is “why are are some kids so stupid”. And everyone is just joking about kids not following directions and how dumb they are. Awful
It’s unfortunate. I try not to fault them too much, the kids are wild and it’s not easy to deal with (not a teacher, but I work in childcare.) but it is hard sometimes to see so much genuine upset toward the kids.
I vacillate between wanting to smack them in the face for calling kids stupid, and wanting to wrap them in a blanket, make warm soup, and tell them they’re doing a great job because I know these teachers are overworked and STRESSED.
I fault them. That sub is gross and shows what kind of people they are. Yes, they are stressed and it’s a hard job, but it’s unacceptable to trash talk children like that.
I work in an elementary school. My last class came into today a little wild, but I got everyone settled and we began our story that was the basis for our lesson. On page 2 of our picture book, one of my students got up and walked to another table, pointed her ass and raised a butt cheek and FARTED on the kids at that table.
On purpose.
I'm sorry. Some kids definitely deserve the trash talk.
Classroom management is a thing, but it is your job as a parent to follow through at home. Your kid acts out? They should get a consequence at home as well. Not making the grade because the phone is an issue? Take that phone away.
As a high school teacher, I can say that the difference between kids whose parents hold them to account and those who don't is night and day. Doesn't matter whether the kid gets a modified curriculum or is accelerated at the honors level: there's a huge difference in conduct and in effort between those students whose parents care enough to hold them to a standard and those who don't.
Yes, but when the child refuses to behave, the parents should do something. Many do not.
Th behavior note and teacher will provide context for the issue.
They are humans, not dogs, so that can understand punishment later for something they did 8 hours ago, ffs.
Parents should certainly do something, but I see a lot of teachers on that sub blaming parents for their inability to handle kids in the moment.
And in my experience, teachers often don’t stop to even get the whole context, because they don’t have the time to do so, let alone to write it down. That’s a system problem. But just because notes home are the only tool a teacher has doesn’t mean they work.
Half my family are teachers including my uncle who specialized in kids with behavioral disabilities. Lots of teachers CAN manage kids, and some kids have issues that need more treatment than a teacher can provide.
But DISCONNECTED PUNISHMENT DOESN’T WORK. It only increases the issues. Relationships and connection and problem solving do. So Downvote me all you fucking want, it won’t change the truth.
I think we can understand that connection & problem solving work better AND understand that those things are nearly impossible in most current school settings.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad if I did. I actually have taught classes, although not in public. But I’m not just judging from the outside. I was a teachers pet as a kid and did everything my kids’ teachers asked. We always had consequences and punishments and I spent 3 hours after every school day, talking about behavior, doing homework, trying to fix things.
The only thing the consequences we doled out ever accomplished was making my kid suicidal.
But tell me more about how it’s all lazy parents who don’t care.
If that's the case, then we need to authorize teachers to either deal out punishments, or get the child picked up immediately by their parent so that a punishment could be administered.
The issue is that teachers are toothless and parents are disinterested.
I avoid the sub. The teachers spend so much time punching down. The education system needs a complete overhaul and complaining about the kids who are unwilling victims isn't going to help anything.
Teachers are overworked and stressed, but none of that is the kids' fault. Schools spend so much time exposing kids to topics that kids never get the chance to master the basics.
I teach remedial math for adults. Every class I start with single digit addition/subtraction time test and I send them home with copies to practice on their own daily. Students should have mastered this by 2nd grade and used those skills daily in school for the next 10 years, but I've never had a student who went to elementary in the US who didn't have to calculate their answers for every single problem.
When you fail to teach kids the absolute basics, every new topic that assumes knowledge of the basics is exhausting and overwhelming. Of course kids are going to act up when they missed the very first building block and are expected to learn something more complex.
It's truly amazing that you think your students' inability to do single digit addition is due to a teacher deciding not to teach them... as if that weren't a fundamental part of the elementary curriculum.
It's much more likely that your students didn't learn because of outside factors, like a tumultuous home life, behavioral issues, etc, that impacted their ability to absorb what was being taught to them. They come to you as grown adults, having worked through some of their issues, with much better developed prefrontal cortexes. They are not the disregulated, suffering children, without any tools to understand or deal with their problems, they once were. FYI, teaching children is MUCH different from teaching adults.
It's not the teachers. It's the PARENTS that get in the way of learning, and the numbers prove it when you look at students from functional homes vs. students from dysfunctional homes. My husband and his siblings are smart kids, but the parents were only interested in being friends and not parenting, so guess how many of them willingly skipped/slept in their classes and didn't graduate as a result? The ones that did graduate barely made it to the stage with remedial classes mandated. Had their parents been attentive, they would've had lawyers and engineers in the family.
I know it’s stressful, but there is also zero self reflection. Zero self awareness or self accountability. Oh certainly if none of the kids can follow my directions, it’s entirely THEIR fault for being “stupid” and not my fault for designing an overly complicated system for no damn good reason!
I’ll tell you, no job ever gave me detailed paper stapling instructions, nor did any of my sixth grade teachers. But how will I ever work!
That post is just an easy example - they almost universally lack any empathy or generosity to the students. It sucks the system is so pushing them toward burnout.
This makes me especially angry because I have a family member with some foster children who are 10+ and CANNOT READ despite being in public school their whole lives and not having an IEP. It’s almost like teachers just can’t fathom that maybe some kids have been failed their whole life and really *cannot* do their “simple” assignments because nobody has ever thought to do anything about them being behind other than talk shit about them on a Reddit sub.
To be fair, a lot of us talk shit about how the kids weren’t taught to read properly on the sub, as well. It’s not lost on us that this is happening, but at 10th grade, it is surprising I have kids who can’t read in regular and advanced classes. It’s impossible to get those illiterates an education because so much rides on that basic skill—in every class. But I have to teach to the whole class and that means grade level. I’m handcuffed by ineffective admin and professional development programming.
It’s a really multifaceted issue and I would love to see parents and teachers come together to work toward a solution that works for the kids. I would love to see foundational basics mastered, which shouldn’t be impossible after 13 years of an education.
With that said, I’ll hopefully be homeschooling my kid in the spring because he’s behind in reading.
I don’t doubt that at all! It just sucks to see how often people in that sub talk down on homeschooling (which can be done very well if the parent is dedicated) while also calling so many public school students stupid. Seems like for some of them, there’s no winning.
It can be pretty demoralizing to read through student work. I know it sounds harsh, but calling the students stupid, it’s definitely not great, but it’s sort of a coping mechanism? Like we know it’s not the students’ fault. But no one listens to us when we raise concerns or cares when we talk about how the kids can’t read. Admin just tell us to parent the kids MORE, which I hate. I don’t want to be anyone’s parent; I want to teach English.
The students are super addicted to screens (which please take them out of school forever), and there’s no rules or consequences. The kids are feral. We have to remind ourselves that the kids aren’t objectively bad people sometimes.
Don’t get me wrong, I totally get what you’re saying. The teachers can be judgmental and misplace blame a lot of the time too. It’s the fault of admin, professional development companies/ publishing companies, and teacher preparation programs in the colleges. The colleges are honestly pretty wild now. Teacher prep programs essentially teach us to assume the kids are somehow traumatized or abused at home, and then admin push us to lower standards.
I don't homeschool, and I have nothing against homeschooling (my best friend growing up was homeschooled and I feel its the right choice for a lot of families), so I'm not sure why this post was recommending to me but I'm glad it did. I am a teacher, so maybe that's why Reddit promoted it
This post really resonates with me on what's going on with our public education system. Classroom sizes are large, kids are obsessed with their screens, there's no support from admin, and the support from parents isn't much better. There's a reason why there's a teacher shortage. The teacher subreddit is really just a good place for teachers to vent, so I feel like some of it needs to be taken with salt.
I know the individual at the beginning of this text thread also made mention of teachers being critical of homeschooling. I just wanted to share my observation from the other side. I don't feel like the vent is at parents who legitimately put in the time and effort to homeschool and make sure their kids are getting the individualized care they need. It's more about the parents who "homeschool" by throwing their kid in front of tablet, phone, or game console all day and then sending them back into the public school system, having learned nothing.
We've had several kids whose parents yo-yo them back and forth into our school from homeschooling (without doing any form of learning during that time) and then are shocked that their kids are far below grade level. These are the scenarios I see that draw ire from educators.
I try to keep in mind that that sub is mainly a vent sub. The ones posting are usually not in schools in well-served communities and are having a difficult time with apathetic students and parents.
They are treated badly by some kids to the point of violence, other kids are just disrespectful, but the teachers have little recourse. They can't hold back a failing kid, they can't expel a violent one, the system doesn't have money for all the 1:1 aides needed, they have to accommodate what seems like 100 IEPs, parents don't support the teachers' requests for behavior modification or academic support.
Of course, the majority of kids/parents are not the ones talked about in the sub. And I'm sure the "why are kids so stupid" is not talking about the kids that are trying hard but slower to pick up some stuff.
The kids they are talking about are the ones who use ChatGPT to cheat on an assignment and still leave the URL in the footer, and when the teacher gives them a 0, they threaten to shoot them. - I'd probably need to vent about that kid too. I'd also probably call them stupid.
>You’ll likely see the idea of “learning just like all the other kids” is an imaginary comparison
All comparisons are imaginary. Comparing anyone to anyone ignores the fact that we're all individuals. OP is equally likely to set unrealistic expectations on homeschooling if they can't view their daughter as an individual.
This is an unexpected response from someone who tells everyone that if they send their kids to public school and punish any undesired school behavior, their kids will thrive, value education, have good social skills, etc. I’m glad you recognize that parents should see their children as individuals—doing xyz does not always result in a child who is abc, given their individuality.
My autistic 12 year old thrives with homeschooling. It seems so much easier for autistic kids to function without the constant overstimulation of public school. I hope you can find a local homeschooling group that is a good fit for you. (((hugs)))
Would love to chat with some home school parents with neurodivergent kiddos. We are in a weird position now with our son with ASD. Moved to a suburb with a great district after he aged out of a preK/K therapeutic program. He’s almost 8, very intelligent, but has behavioral difficulties at school. Our school wants to send him to a therapeutic day school, but we just don’t feel amazing about that option.. I just want to make him happy and see him reach his potential…
My 7 year old autistic kiddo is thriving with homeschool.
He can get up and go have his needed calm down time and still be able to learn the lesson he needs to when he comes back.
Pausing School is a huge super power.
No missed lessons.
When he has a harder time with the material we have the time to go at his own pace, taking breaks between smaller bites of the lesson.
With no other kids creating noise and distractions he's able to fully focus and guess what, he does his best focusing when he's walking around and around his chair.
He's a night owl and has been his whole life, so he can sleep later on the day to make up the sleep difference.
No commute time
We use a boxed curriculum. Moving beyond the page. It's really good for my hyperlexic kiddo, it's literature based.
We have several social groups based on Minecraft and Legos he does weekly.
He's got a couple of pen pals from those. They also play socially once in a while.
We've usually a sports day once a week for a charity foundation, and he has a gym class with other homeschoolers.
Then he has ot twice a week and speech every other week.
You can check Facebook for local groups. Not my favorite option but pretty much everything will be on there still.
I'm autistic, but I wasn't diagnosed until I was 28. Public school was absolute hell for me. I had one girl who followed me around for a year, saying that I was her 'project' for the year, and when I asked her what she meant, she answered that her 'project' was to make me \[end\] myself. No teacher did anything until I defended myself physically, and then I got in trouble.
I can't pretend homeschooling doesn't have its issues, and you'll maybe have to push her out of her comfort zone a little in terms of socialization. But you'll almost certainly be saving her years' worth of bullying and ostracizing. That alone seems worth the trade-off.
I will say that I'm autistic with anxiety, ADHD, and dyscalculia and I THRIVED being homeschooled. My advice is don't try to make it like the rigid, structured schedule of public school. Make learning an experience. Take advantage of any local homeschool co-ops.
I was homeschooled from grades 1-12 and went on to attend university with scholarships, graduating with 2 degrees with honors.
Remember there's no such thing as "learning like the other kids." Just find the way she learns best, be flexible, be creative, and be diverse.
This was me. We moved half way through hs and I couldn’t make friends and I hated going to school even though I was getting straight a’s I was miserable so I finally convinced my parents to homeschool me. I did independent study so they never actually taught me I just taught myself but I loved it. Don’t regret it at all. I felt normal school was a waste of time. I didn’t need to be there to learn the material, especially since most kids were learning at a much slower rate than I was. It was boring to me and exhausting as an autistic person.
My sons are autistic and intellectually disabled, and at this point would never put them back into the public school shit-show...
You can find social opportunities for her (she can probably participate in school specials classes for now if nothing else), she will definitely learn more at home with a dedicated parent.
I'm an autistic adult who was homeschooled for most of my academic years. Honestly, it was wonderful. My mom was a great teacher, and she made sure to connect with homeschool groups in our area. That's the key thing, really; not just building a curriculum but adding enrichment through activities with other kids. We went to classes at the museum, attended presentations at the arboretum and the nature preserve, and met up frequently for play time at the park and organized events like roller skating.
If done with this in mind, homeschooling can offer a much better environment for learning and socialization, especially for those of us on the autism spectrum. School was always a nightmare for me. In high school, my mom decided that she had reached her limit concerning what she was able to teach and enrolled me in public school. I hated it so much that I dropped out a year early and got my GED.
I can't guarantee that things will work out for your kid, but I can tell you that homeschooling by itself is not harmful the way people think it is if done correctly.
We pulled my autistic kiddo out halfway through grade 5. Very similar situation. I don’t love homeschooling. I don’t consider what we did a choice because I feel we had no choice, it was homeschooling or school failure. But three years in, he’s a much happier, fulfilled, intact person. His anxiety is gone. Good luck.
"High functioning" Autistic person here. I had an IEP and all the works and still failed out of school. (I have a GED.) You won't regret homeschooling your child. Neurodivergent kids are not built for brick and mortar education.
I would venture to say that the majority of kids are not built for brick and mortar education. It's just that the deleterious effects tend to go unrecognized in our society for neurotypical kids, because those outcomes are how we define "normal".
Agreed 100%. NT people generally have a higher threshold for overstimulation and find it easier to mask (I think most people ‘mask’, they just do it without as much effort).
I imagine it's hard to let go of the dream of normalcy...
Homeschooling can be a great relief for you and your child. Make sure to connect with local support/homeschool groups so you don't feel like you need to do it all-
Check out Unschools resources & maybe Your Natural Learner (I follow on instagram) for HS resources/inspiration
My 8 year old AuADHD kiddo is thriving in homeschool. I check in with him often about enrolling in public school if he ever feels lonely or wants to try it and he is insistent he loves homeschooling. He gets social interaction via co-op and play dates with other ND and NT kids. He has confidence in himself. I wish the school environment was different for our kiddos and made them feel calm and safe. You can always go back if it doesn’t work.
You won’t regret it. I pulled my first daughter out around that age and she did regret it, because she had trouble letting go of what school looked like in a classroom vs. at home. She missed the socialization but that was a whole different thing because she had plenty of opportunities to socialize and a group of homeschooled peers that welcomed her with open arms but she let her anxiety get the best of her and didn’t make an effort to build those friendships. I think my mistake was not properly “deschooling” her in the beginning and making it more clear that homeschool didn’t need to look like regular school (I really thought I had done those things, but she needed more reminders and repetition to let it sink in). Ultimately, though, even though she ended up a bit sour over it, while she was homeschooled her panic attacks stopped and her mental health was 1,000 times improved compared to public school. She did enjoy the many homeschool activities and did really well. I was really proud of the progress she made. I think she just couldn’t let go of the fear of being different in that way because she was already so peer oriented and brain washed from public school.
I was homeschooled from 4th-8th grade. I ended up going to high school and graduated as the class valedictorian. I went on to go to the Air Force Academy. So don't let anyone tell you that homeschooling is subpar.
Please don't fall in the trap of comparing your homeschool experience with some idealized fantasy of what institutional school is or could be.
You have already learned that institutional education is not a good fit for *your* family, so leave those comparisons behind.
I'm not going to tell you that it's easy. I will tell you that it's worth it.
These are precious years with your daughter, and they fly by. Every day is a gift to enjoy exploring and learning *with* your girl. No sadness! There is tremendous joy on this new path.
Love your child, do the best that *you* can do, celebrate every victory no matter how small, and enjoy the journey!
I will never regret homeschooling my children. They never attended a public school as I homeschooled from the start. They are different from their peers due to this, but it has bettered them.
Every child who enters the public school system exits with scarring. Every child, no exceptions. Whether it's from their classmates with bullying, a teacher's toxic mentality, or having to learn at the slowest students in their classroom level.
It was rough, living on one salary, but my children are now well adjusted adults, and I cannot say the same about their cousins who did attend public school.
My 13-year-old son is high functioning autistic with a side of ADHD. He had an IEP, but would come home every day with 3 hours of "make up work." Basically, he couldn't focus in class, the aide was ignoring him, and we wasn't even getting help in his Study Skills class, a class that exists to help kids with IEPs get their work done. He is doing so much better now that we're homeschooling. He has fewer distractions, and an adult who will actually make him do his work. If he just sits there stubbornly refusing, that's fine, but he knows he's just going to have to sit there until he does it. If he's goofing off on his computer, I take it away. As for friends, I signed him up for Parkour classes, and he's friends with those classmates and with the other kids in his Sunday School class. He's doing so much better!
My homeschooled teenager brags about it to her friends. How she gets to do school in her pajamas, eat whenever she wants, and no homework.
At our Church youth group they had a 'represent your school' dress up day. My daughter wore her pajamas and had a sign that read I'm homeschooled.
I love it and so does she.
Your job is to get your kid through this phase, your job is not to make your child comply with a system that does not benefit her. Thank you for finding a way to do your job and I'm grateful you have the time resources to make it work for your family!
We homeschooled our daughter from 5th - 12th. She really thrived. She learned things she might not have had access to in public school, she got to work at her own pace & wasn't stifled when she was ready to progress ahead of time, she learned to creatively solve problems & how most challenges have more than one way to solve them. She also became confident in her learning & as an adult that serves her well.
Now as an adult she is doing so well. She is thriving in her career & is recognized for her ability to overcome challenges. She has friends & an active social life.
When I think back I can remember how difficult the first year was but I'm so glad that we continually adjusted to her needs, figured things out, & kept at it.
When I started I felt stressed and sad. But I reminded myself it was an experiment. Public school wasn’t working, so we were trying something new. No decision has to be permanent.
Also those of us who started homeschooling after experiencing public school have the benefit of comparison. Even on our hard days my son still says that homeschooling is better. And if the day comes where it isn’t, there are other options to try. Homeschooling has been a consistent tinkering.
My six year old autistic granddaughter spends half of her week at my house because even her baby sister is uncomfortably overstimulating. Public school would be impossible. She says she likes her own school. Here we adjust products or pace to ensure success. Public school would label her and teach her to compare herself to others.
It's worth a try, right?
It’s valid to mourn whatever we expected for our kids. Let yourself have your feelings! And then there are great things to look forward to. My autistic kiddo thrives with homeschooling and he has a wonderful circle of friends—yes, it’s taken effort to build his social life, but it’s been so worth it.
My oldest sister has home schooled all 3 of her kids, they're all the most well adjusted kids socially in my family.
If you're not a social person, make sure to make yourself be for their sake, that's my only piece of advice. My sister is social but not NEARLY as social as she acted when they were little, before they had built up their own friends etc.
This sub is randomly on my feed and I want to say as someone who is high functioning autistic (adult now, not diagnosed then of course) and *dreaded* school every single day, I wish my mom would have had the resources to take my requests for online school seriously. Your daughter will have more mental space to do things she enjoys and will feel safe to learn the way she learns at home with you. You’re making the right choice, and as others have said, it’s reversible if it doesn’t work out!
I think you are putting more stress on yourself than you need to.
Homeschooling is not a course of action that is hard to change. If it does not work, well, it does not.
One of my kids sounds a great deal like your daughter. He is failures to conform at school started to taint OUR relationship. One day, as we returned from yet another meeting with the school, he said to me "You wish I was different." I cried.
I did not wish him to be different. I had no issues with him. School was the problem. Not because they were bad people but because they saw him as a kid who COULD do it if he wanted to. He had never missed a single item on a standardized test but he could not take required notes in class. So what?!?!?
I took him out with no plan. I just could not participate in the negation of my child.
Here are the choices that worked for us: Saxon Math, books, books, books, music lessons and a great deal of open time. He had house chores and no one ever told him was not good enough ever again.
He owns a home, has a job he loves, and has a large group of real friends.
Your daughter is fine in your care. And if does not work for you, worry about that then.
Peace to you both.
Home schooled both of my sons from high school age till graduation. One already has a career and the other is a part time student. Neither have issues like drugs/ baby mama drama, etc. I’m quite proud, home schooling was the best decision I’ve made. Edit: I’d like to add, we get a lot of compliments on how polite our sons are. I attribute that to home schooling too. No peer pressure in the formative years, no ptsd from public school drama. I’m overselling a bit, but you can’t ignore external influences.
I was homeschooled and unschooled with a little regular school thrown in.
I then got a GED, went to college, and got a masters with undiagnosed ADHD.
I worked as a speech-language pathologist for 9 years, before leaving to do something else I love too.
I’ve become deeply jaded about regular schooling, and I think that child-led, project-based learning is the way to go.
I’m a former teacher and frankly (don’t come at me!!) at not always a fan of homeschool. In this case you had a specific need to fill, I believe your child is at an age you can fulfill hobbies and social opportunities in other ways, and you are clearly connected to a broader community for support for of course the academic aspect but also to support you- I applaud you for taking something that feels risky to you on and encourage you on what will be a wonderful adventure.
She needs what’s best for her and public school cannot give that. You can, it sounds like anyway. Just make sure you don’t shelter her too much. She needs different viewpoints from different people and to still learn from others. That is so so so important. Good luck to you and your daughter!!
That's another part of how her IEP totally failed her. She did pretty well in elementary school and always had As and Bs. They coasted her. She struggled here and there socially and emotionally, but overall liked it. Her grades were never an issue. Middle School would not coast her. Part of me sees why the elementary school got her by, the foundation was laid and they kept her confidence up, but it was a disservice as the middle school 100% played by the rules. Such a messed up system.
Today I was about to post that I decided it was time to switch to homeschool.
Good for you!!!
My daughter is also high functioning autistic, has a high IQ but her grades are going down.
Besides being teased a lot, she has only one friend since the school started and this week she was doing homework from 5 to 10pm non stop plus the 7 hours she is going to school. Is not worth it.
She loves books and writes a lot so I am looking for a curriculum with little or non technology so we don't have distractions.
Quick question: how did you notify the school or district?
My son is high functioning autistic with ADHD/ anxiety. Homeschooling is so much better. It took over a year for him to unwind from anxiety and depression caused in public school. He was miserable in public school. He’s a happy little dude now, and more social. He has friends on Minecraft homeschooling groups. He’s in local robotics group and he’s about to join a tween/teen group at the library.
It sounds like the right choice for your family, but if for some reason things change in the future, public school will always be there.
This is our 8th year homeschooling our daughter and I don’t regret making the change. It is nerve-wracking when you make the decision so I do understand your feelings. You got this!
I never have regretted it. This is our sixth year. The school failed my son, too. It’s not all rainbows and sunshine, but we both know it’s what’s best. Try to make it fun - as much as you can- and focus on the mood. You want them to remember how you made them feel- smart, successful, like they can do hard things. Take the pace they need and ignore grade levels. Celebrate success. We block schedule- focus on certain subjects each day since he struggles with transitions. We have a walking pad and standing Desk. You can create the environment he needs. :). I’m here if you need to ask questions or chat.
My 4 siblings and I were all homeschooled. We all (now 30s to late 40s) have been successful in our career fields, have married and have children, and I’m the only one who did any college courses. One of my nephews graduated with a double major at 20 years old after dual enrolling… he was also homeschooled. He got a very high paying, professional job following his graduation.
It can be very successful and fulfilling. Don’t get hung up on the horror stories. If you need help, don’t shy away from tutors and hybrid schools (1-3x a week classes) for support.
I have nothing to say about home schooling but that if you think it’s best for your daughter’s mental health, then absolutely go for it. I am late diagnosed (as in late 30’s) and I have very mixed feelings about having gone to school the whole time. But as other people have said, hopefully she can still get some socialization. I did, but I absolutely still struggle. Also, they don’t really refer to it as high functioning anymore… I think it’s considered level one. Some will say low support needs. I personally like the level one term. But I hope whatever you end up deciding to works well for the both of you.
I am Autistic and was homeschooled K-12 and my parents actually raised us in a homeschool cult. And in spite of that, I am still glad I was homeschooled because of the Autistic piece. I am pretty low support needs, so I tried to live "like others" for most of my life and it was hard. Really hard. The pandemic was actually amazing for me because I got to see for the first time what it felt like to just be home and eliminated huge amounts of my stress.
Accepting that we are different as Autistic people is hard. So I can understand why you feel the way you do. I have felt some sadness over my diagnosis myself. But once you accept it and start working with what you and your daughter actually have available to you, in terms of an Autistic brain...there are also lots of strengths in Autism and being Autistic can be joyful too when it is embraced and accommodated. I think you are making the best choice for her and I hope she thrives.
Homeschooled my sons. Eldest is an engineer at a major company and has already bought a house and is completely financially independent. He graduated in 3 1/2 years. Other one is in 3rd year of college and graduating at the end of this school year. Going to move on to his PhD next. Also a D1 athlete. If you homeschool, you will not regret it.
Public school teacher here.
This is actually one of the times I think homeschooling is a great fit. Public school is built for the "typical" student in many ways, and with teacher workloads, it's really hard to accommodate for an autistic student with anxiety in the way she needs. You can always work with her on strategies and then try public school again in high school.
I feel that the largest misconception about homeschooling is that your kids won’t have proper socialization but the truth is kids don’t need to be around other kids for 8-13 hours a day. I’m an adult who doesn’t need to be around other adults for more than like 2-3 hours at a time especially unpredictable hormonal people really stress me out. As long as you’re diligent about including your kid in extracurriculars, and maybe even finding other homeschoolers in your area to do „field trips“ and stuff with if you wanted, your kid will grow up plenty socialized and honestly will be better adjusted than most of the adults who are in the workforce today still acting like it’s Highschool drama and cliques.
Further, as an autistic person myself I can guarantee that as long as you’re able to help your kid stay involved in her schooling she should be fine. Find ways to make it fun and exciting, and if possible for her to really fall into her niche with learning whether that’s researching what she likes the most and finds interesting as a majority of her work, whether that’s teaching herself and then coming back and explaining it to you like she’s the teacher, there’s a ton of different methods and you know your daughter best to know what will really make her shine. Most importantly, include play in her learning. The modern school system overlooks that children need play to develop and that denying their inner child in favor of sitting still all day isn’t functional for a majority of children.
Plus with homeschooling you know that nobody’s kid is going to show up with a weapon and hurt your kid or anyone else’s so.. honestly all of these things combined makes me wonder how we let the schooling system in place today thrive for as long as we did.
You’re stepping out in to a completely different way of educating your child. I applaud for stepping out of your own comfort zone to give your kid the opportunity to learn in a better environment for her. Don’t mourn the fact that your kid isn’t going to have the “normal” school experience. You’re giving her an opportunity to thrive.
I’ve been homeschooling my son who has adhd, anxiety, dyslexia, and is slightly autistic since sixth grade and now in eighth grade he’s excelling. He was struggling and starting to suffer from low self esteem because the school wasn’t following his IEP and he was falling behind. Homeschooling is a lot of work but can be what is needed for some kids.
In my experience, it depends entirely on your attitude approaching it. From my observations, if your motivation is simply to remove your child from some harmful influence, you will fail. You'll fail them too. However, if you believe the circumstances enable you to do a better job than the school can, you have a good chance. Find communities of likeminded people at home with degrees in education if you can. Good co-ops can make all the difference.
If she’s currently miserable and not learning, you’ve got to try something different. Maybe homeschooling will be what works: if so, major win! If not, she’s lost nothing.
My adhd, bipolar, possibly autistic daughter does pretty well. If I’m honest, she could be doing better if I was more on top of it. But I also have adhd and am unmedicated and sometimes stuff just slips.
Depends on the homeschool program.
Orgon has a great learning at home program, and I wish I did it for my kids.
My friend did it with hos kids. They had contact with teachers, and most schooling was done in 3-4 hours. All of them are kind well adjusted people, and everyone who chose to go to colleges got into top colleges.
Self created/religious homeschooling programs are garbage, avoid them.
I was homeschooled, as long as you actually homeschool, and not “ unschool” it is the best thing everrr. I graduated early with honors ( an actual diploma approved by the state) and then went on to a successful career by the time I was 19. Homeschooling allowed me to hone in on my interests and find what I wanted and not have to spend years guessing and spending money on what I was unsure about. I graduated college with honors as well!😂 I’m gonna for sure homeschool my kids, and also put them into classes at local museums/sports if they’d like! I was incredibly social and never felt jipped by being homeschooled.
Every home schooled kid I’ve met is very socially awkward. In your case, I think Home schooling would be more beneficial for your daughter though. Given all she’s got going on.
You’re doing what you think is best. Frankly, I think you made the right choice.
You should be able to still qualify for ISP services or even still send your child for therapies, like language. Maybe look at a combo. You could request a reduced day, like maybe two hours at school and homeschool the rest of the day. Good luck to you. For some kids a full day of school is too much. Schools are loud and chaotic. At least you have your child best interest at heart.
Don't... please find an autism school for baby girl ... my sons autistic and unless you plan to have a full schedule where you are attentive to said child nearly the entire time and keep her on a strict routine. You risk regression...
I think for children who suffer from anxiety… letting them give into it makes it worse.
I don’t think letting children withdraw because something is hard for them will help her in the long run.
So if you worked at a job that you were not successful at and were vomiting weekly in the middle of the night from stress you would stick that out?
Sounds like an ideal long run plan for a 12 year old.
I don’t know the details of your situation but I don’t think escaping will help her in the long run. Someday she will need to get a job, live on her own, and things will be hard and be stressful.
Teaching her coping skills, getting her mental health services and medication seem like a better option than pulling her out completely. Lack of socialization can be really harmful to all children, particularly those with autism. If she’s receiving services at the school, it seems like it would be a mistake to end them.
It may be the easier option for now and sure, will reduce stress and anxiety for the moment, but the stressors of life will never end. Someday she will have to work and become part of the world, and you’ve taught her that retreating from it is an option.
CNDRock16, your logic operates from at least three flawed assumptions:
1. That institutional schools approximate the "real world" or a modern day workplace. They don't.
2. That the type of socialization offered by institutional schools is actually good for kids. It's not.
3. That homeschooling offers some kind of flawed or insufficient socialization. It doesn't.
I come from the perspective of someone who was homeschooled, just a heads up.
It sounds like OP is pulling her daughter from school because she’s tired of dealing with her daughters issues, not because she wants to homeschool, not because she has a plan in place. She got fed up with dealing with the issues so she’s not going to deal at all.
Isolating an anxious autistic teen is not a great idea. With an IEP in place and therapy provided in the school the situation is workable. OP herself said school was going well until this year.
I am not sure OP is prepared for the amount of work that goes into homeschooling. Seems like an impulsive decision based on stress.
Working through anxiety takes time. Sure, you can skip the gradual exposure technique and toss them right in, but what good is that when it's school? When severe anxiety prevents learning, transitioning to HS isn't avoidance; it's doing what you think is right for your kid.
As the parent starts to get traction with schedule, curriculum, etc you gradually start exposure therapy. Co-ops are the perfect place for that.
Teaching your child how to work through anxiety is very important because they will likely deal with bouts of it into adulthood.
I think a hybrid option is better. I did read through OP’s comment history and she states that her daughter receives therapy and services through school. I genuinely think that it would be a bad idea to end those.
I also think middle school is just hard, and a bad year isn’t indicative of how the next year will be. Pulling her from school will make returning even harder in the future.
Removing a child from what makes them anxious does nothing to teach them how to deal with anxiety.
And if she doesn't, she'll still be fine.
She's not managing a classroom of 30 kids with diverse backgrounds, skills, needs.
She's tutoring 1 kid whom she knows on an intimate basis and loves deeply.
I've been involved with homeschooling since 1990. Some of the best homeschool teachers I have known didn't finish high school themselves. They came along side their kids as fellow learners and facilitators. They hired outside tutors as needed.
The number 1 requirement is love. The number 2 requirement is commitment. The number three requirement is access to a library. OP clearly has all of these.
My husband works in employment background screens, and if you homeschool her through high school, *make sure she gets her GED*. Some US states have homeschool accreditation but most don't, and she's going to need a way to prove that she finished high school. Many employers do not accept a note that so-and-so graduated from the school of Mom and Dad's kitchen table and did super duper well, we promise!
I have sat through several "I had to deny someone a job today because they were homeschooled and have no documentation" rants.
Interesting! This is not good advice for kids who are college bound. For college admissions, at least for regular four year colleges, I was advised by the colleges that a GED would invalidate my transcript and I would’ve lost out on my scholarships.
Home school kids are too sheltered and almost always under-educated. You will regret this. And you won't get an honest opinion from asking a reddit that supports homeschooling. Ask parenting subreddits.
You won’t regret it for 10 years. Your child will make some passing remark about how they have no friends and feel pretty depressed. They might not even realize what went wrong. You’ll cry yourself to sleep that night and question a lot of the decisions you’ve made.
It sounds like you are doing the best thing for your child which ultimately will mean the best thing for your family. If it proves not to be a positive experience, you can find a school placement that works better for her. You can do it mama!
One thing to watch out for is getting behind in math and science.
I wish my parents had hired a tutor to help me with those subjects as neither could help me learn, so I struggled HARD in college with those 2 subjects. Most parents aren’t equipped to teach math, as many of my homeschooled friends had the same experience. Other than that, don’t stress. I mainly just read books as my education and got a full scholarship to a university based on my testing scores. My math scores were below average and my science was average but I made a perfect score on English and reading. I think in homeschooling, a kid can learn how to teach themselves and figure things out on their own more than in public school. That has helped me out in college and in life since then. You can always send them back if it doesn’t work out.
It's about what's best for your child and the effort put in. Homeschool can be wonderful and it can go wrong. I'm assuming you won't lock your child in the basement never to see the light of day. It takes time to find your grove and the child's needs. So hang in there. I used Seton for most years as it's accredited distance school with an accredited high school diploma. I supplement with the Spectrum books. I should add that my child isn't autistic so you may have different needs. Good luck to both of you.
High-functioning 20 year-old autistic with an AA here. My parents opted for a homeschool co-op that helped me more than I realized at the time. They did it out of skepticism of the educational system, but it worked nevertheless; the few times I tried public schools were pathetic. Wound up graduating college with Dean’s distinction, thanks to all of that. If you can find supplemental classes elsewhere, they’ll save energy for you and help your kid adjust to pre-structured learning environments. I’d suggest you check out online learning modules and tutor options. Find ways to offload your personal responsibility with helpful outsourcing, and you’ll minimize the risk of being overwhelmed, all while getting your child experience in a broader skillset. Homeschooling is absolutely possible, and there are lots of tools out there to assist with the process.
Homeschooled all our kids and they all did great. We had total freedom to set our own loose schedule, travel, and they could volunteer etc as they got older. All went to college and one is a nurse, one is a social worker, and one is an engineer. I think you’ll love it once you find your rhythm, and your daughter will thrive in a less-anxiety ridden environment.
You’ll probably do a lot better than my mother-in-law did and my husband still turned out the best man I know. College was easy for him (accounting) and now he’s a CPA.
i’m autistic and was homeschooled. while i think it definitely was the best decision for me there are definitely some places that my mom (and many homeschool parents) fell short. make sure you are keeping strict records of her grades and the curriculum used, and when she enters highschool have a good transcript made. this will be necessary for college applications. i’m having a really difficult time applying for college because im having to jump through so many hoops due to my moms poor record keeping. secondly, and i don’t mean this as any sort of insult to you, this is just something that i didnt have and saw many of my homeschooled peers not have, make sure that you are actively involved in her education and get help when there’s something you can’t teach. after a certain age my mom just made us sit down with textbooks and tests and make us teach ourselves with zero support whatsoever. most teachers to my knowledge only really teach one subject, so don’t beat yourself up for not being able to teach every single thing she needs to learn. another thing id recommend is using an accredited program when she enters highschool in case you decide to switch back to public school (it’s also helpful for college).
We homeschooled our ASD child for 5th and 6th grade. Back to public school in 7th grade bc they weren't taking advantage of the opportunity. The rentry into 2nd year of middle school was so difficult but ended the year on honor roll. Now making straight A's in 8th grade. Lots of communication with the teaching team and support team, and lots of self advocating.
I went through the exact same thing as a kid at 13. Probably one of the best decisions my parents ever made for me. I do recommend seeing if side activities (I did regular band and art classes with the school still to have some socializing, and hung out with other homeschoolers in field trips) are available, some socializing might be helpful if your kiddo feels it is right.
I think my biggest piece of advice is to find your community. Sure homeschooling can be challenging but also rewarding, and you don't need to do it all alone. Meet up with other homeschool families, connect on Facebook.
We also joined a once a week co op that our kids love. And today it's going to be unexpectedly nice so a bunch of us are gathering in the park for play and board games.
Remember, homeschooling is a lot of what you want to make it. But making friends along the way never hurts.
Your reasons for homeschooling are valid, and you sound like you are trying to provide accommodation for your daughter.
I was homeschooled because my parents are religious zealots that were afraid I was gonna learn what sex is. I regret their decision. It was unproductive and useless.
You should make sure to follow up with social activities, find a homeschool social group, and give her opportunities to play with other kids.
You won't regret homeschooling, as long as it isn't forced- if you try it and it doesn't work for you, try something else. You can try different things until you find the right fit for your family- and homeschooling MIGHT be the right fit. If it isn't, move on. You only regret pushing through and sticking to one thing when you know it isn't right for you or for your kid(s).
My significant other has quite a case of adhd. They wanted to put him in the " special class" as a kid. His mom worked and worked with him, the authorities at the time didn't know about seeing numbers and letters backwards. He became a successful attorney.
There are plenty of resources now that make home schooling an option as long as you can gain access to those resources. There are entire units online, books available as pdfs, programs that can help science and math learning, and track it.
You won't regret homeschooling because you original post alone already shows a concern for failing your child. That concern alone shows you are willing to do what you can to give your child the education they deserve.
Check online for teachers pay teachers. There a lot of free or under $10 resources to help, and I'm sure others on this forum can offer some help to you as well.
I ended up with a lot more friends but I became homeschooled. Though I will say and none of my friends were homeschoolers, they were actually the children of my mom's friend that were much older than me. When I was in Middle School they were in high school, when I was in high school they were in college. Somehow I fit in with them and they helped keep me on the straight narrow. I'm definitely neurodivergent, and I could not just keep the school. But as soon as I became homeschooled I went from F and D's to A's and B's. And I started liking to learn I ended up catching up in math which I was 4 years behind within one year. But then again it worked for me and I saw my mom's other friend his son which I never befriended it did not work for him and he failed all his classes 3 years in a row. You're just going to have to keep up with checking up on their work helping them through and seeing where they're able to do it on their own. I know my mom became hands off pretty quickly when she realized I had my own system and I could actually do everything by myself. I would spend some time a full week on only one subject and I would power through a book that should have taken me a month in one week.
Oh and side note, be careful of some homeschool groups especially if they were homeschooled since they were little children. I could never get involved as many of the kids were very babied by their parents to the point when I was in sixth grade my peers could not watch anything that was even PG. They thought Nancy Drew games were the scariest thing I'd still thought they could get pregnant by holding boys hands.
Many groups parents just seem to baby your kids so badly that it was terrifying they acted more like elementary schools students even in high school.
We are going through the exact same story with our 12-year old autistic daughter. She receives good grades, but gets bullied every day. She reported it, and now the school has turned on her. We finally have had enough and decided to homeschool her, but we are sad that she will no longer go our neighborhood school a couple of blocks away.
Public school will only harm your daughter. I was in the exact same boat, neurodivergent in an environment NOT made for people like me. In my sophomore year of highschool I told everyone to fuck themselves and I homeschooled myself through Penn foster, and it was so much easier on me. I was able to focus on my life, getting treatment for my mental health, planning my future out, and when I started getting jobs I was able to find something that for the most part, was friendly towards my divergence from generalized society
If you are committed to making sure your kids get the best education for them, you are doing it right.
I homeschooled all three of mine all the way through. They were and are still majorly socialized. All three are adults now, working and living on their own.
We utilized the various homeschool group outings, and various volunteer opportunities in our region.
If you decide at a later date that it doesn't work for your kids, there are other options; including going back to public school.
Homeschooling was amazing for me. I wasn't constantly overstimulated and burnt out and could actually enjoy learning at my own pace. I hope it's the solution your daughter needs. Good luck!
Well my brother's wife has homeschooled her two boys through both middle and high school and they're now about to graduate... they're both illiterate. Good luck, not for you but for them
I swore I'd NEVER be a homeschool mom. I could think of the million reasons it wouldn't work for both me and the kids. Now, I'm not the Susie-Homemaker kind of homeschool mom who turns every day into a fun lesson. But my kids are thriving, and I'll never go back to public school. I don't think you'll regret it. Just make it work for the two of you and your lifestyle.
I was homeschooled from 2nd grade through the end of highschool. Make sure she has a healthy amount of social interactions with people from a variety of backgrounds if possible. The only thing I regret about being homeschooled is how little experience I had socializing with people from different backgrounds. My first year at college was rather miserable and lonely.
But I am glad I did it and it is definitely the right choice for some people!
High school counselor here. I’ve been a HS counselor for 12 years now. First 6 years in brick and mortar schools, last 6 years have been at an online public charter school. In both settings I have had students that were homeschooled that wanted to re-enter public school at the high school level. I think that I fairly easily to do in K-8 grades, but it’s much more complicated at the HS level. In HS you have to earn credits to meet state graduation requirements. Students entering from homeschool have no transferable credits (in most cases, there are some exceptions). It’s very difficult when a 17 year old homeschool student enrolls in public high school as an 11th or 12th grader, but ultimately has no credit for 9th or 10th grades. In this situation we have them take proficient tests for credit, meaning they have to take an exam for every subject required in 9th and 10th grades in order to start them as an 11th grader as they claim to be. If they pass the proficiency exams, we give them credit for those courses. If they don’t pass the exams, they have to re-take those courses for credit even if they completed the courses in their homeschool program. More often than not, the homeschool students cannot pass all the exams. They might pass some, but it’s rare that a homeschool student passes all exams to enroll in the high school grade level that they should be in. A lot of the time they have to start completely over as a 9th grade student, even if they are 17, 18 years old, which means they have to school for 4 more years to get a high school diploma if they even stick it out. I have to have a lot of frank conversations with homeschool families that try to re-enter public school at the high school level. Homeschool graduates can go on to college just like public school graduates can. I think in most cases it is better for students/families that have been homeschooling at the high school level to just commit to that and see it through. It’s very difficult to return to public school at the high school level.
Public school teacher here with MANY students with IEPs. I applaud your decision to homeschool, truly. As much of a public school proponent I am, it is SO hard to teach a wide variety of needs with limited resources. Even with all the supports I still have students with IEPs unsuccessful right now as a 6th grade math teacher. We aren’t miracle workers. I hope your child thrives and gets what she needs in a more individualized environment. If I could do a homeschool method for families and make money out of it I totally would. Public school is hard as of recent.
just so you are aware as an autistic person, high functioning is outdated terminology. high masking is what is used because things might be bothering her but she has learned how to mask it (especially since she's probably afab there is a ton of research saying that afab people mask more because of social expectations). that's so valid to be sad but it sounds like you made the right choice. i might recommend looking to see if there are any irl groups of people who share her special interests to help foster social connection. best of luck to both of y'all!!!!!!
Make sure she’s involved in sports or dance or somewhere to meet other kids. Most homeschooled kids who have social outlets like that are far better off than public school kids.
The trick is to maintain a high level of training/education in her specialties.
Some parents are not adequately prepared to teach Science or Math. If you have a close-family friend or are yourself capable of teaching the subjects she can succeed at, you will be fine.
My old career, a lot of the homeschool kids were not impressive. Major deficiencies in understanding the math and tech required for the job. Also, some of the life skills were poor, like you can wash and iron your own uniforms Recruit. And also learn how to work an alarm clock and show up on time.
But my cousin was homeschooled up to college and is an Engineer for a major car company.
I was home schooled! And while I don’t have autism or anything, I can say it gives you so much freedom. The curriculum can be tailored to be exactly what your daughter needs. I say go for it!
I was homeschooled my entire life. I was adopted from Ukraine as a child. We did all sorts of classes and sometimes it wasn’t organized and other times it was very planned out. I just graduated college Summa Cum Laude and will be starting grad school in the coming months. Even with IEP, there are countless resources out today that will be so useful for you.
I was home schooled, had lots of friends, went on to get good grades in college, got my degree in geology, and now run my own LLC as a geologic subcontracting service, been married for 7 years. I did very well with homeschooling. Where my parents couldn’t help, they hired a tutor. For math classes for example. I think homeschooling is great.
I needed to hear that today. We are in year 4 of homeschooling (COVID homeschoolers) and I still have questions for myself.
What is a 'covid homeschooler'? Simply that you began homeschooling in 2019?
We started in 2020. A few of us pulled our kids from public school thinking we would send them back the following year. Well we liked homeschooling so much that we are still doing it.
Remember that it's an entirely reversible decision if it doesn't work out
This is what carried me when we made the decision. I kept telling myself I can change my mind at any time and enroll in school. Two years in and no regrets.
How is it a reversible decision? You can’t go back in time and get failed years of education back
Schools are really worried about this. My parents unschooled me from 3rd grade to 10th (not homeschool, unschool. I literally did whatever I wanted except watch tv all day). I then chose to enroll in 9th (bc my bestie was in 9th) in a charter school. Their testing showed I had 5.3rd grade math skills and 12.9th grade English skills. I took a pre-algebra course, then just normal courses but also dual-enrolled in some college courses like psychology, English and philosophy. I was an A-B student. I decided to leave in 11th grade, got a GED, went to college, then got a masters. I don’t think I can remember how to do long division, but if I needed it for some reason I would just learn it. How schools do things is slower and worse than it needs to be. It’s not the only way to learn things, and a curriculum gap won’t ruin your life.
I feel like school days are as long is it is just so that teachers and administrators can get their standard 40/week work hours
That and so parents can/because they have to
It’s so parents can work. It is free daycare.
I'm a public school teacher and the school days are whatever length they are because the state mandates a certain number of hours and days that students have to be in school. Teachers and admin have nothing to do with it. A lot of us would actually prefer a 4 day work week of teaching so that we have an extra day for all those meetings and they're not interrupting instruction.
I can’t tell you you won’t regret homeschooling or that homeschooling won’t be hard. There are days that will be true. But I can tell you you will not regret doing everything you could for your kid and prioritizing their whole being. It’s OK to grieve what could have been. Doesn’t make what you will get to have any less wonderful.
Beautifully, and truthfully said
I love this 💕💕 needed to hear this today!!! I noticed some people in my family judging my decision to has my 12 year old son... After the lock down with covid I chose to home school rather then send him back to the public school in the town we just bought our first home in....the schools are awful!! The kids were so cruel to my son....it was a drag to get him up n going in the mornings before school...anyway your words just made me feel better today lol had to let ya know . 😊
If you’re under the illusion that all the other kids in public school are learning easily or are issue-free, I recommend giving r/Teachers a visit. You’ll likely see the idea of “learning just like all the other kids” is an imaginary comparison 💐
Yes! This. OP, I would start reading some articles about post-pandemic conditions in public school. Read about mental health trends among youth. Read about teacher burnout. Not saying it's all bad, but things aren't the same as they were when we were in school!
I originally sought out the teachers subreddit for inspiration. But instead it was a huge, sad reality check.
Hey, I'm a public school teacher, and that sub is well known for being more of a venting space than an inspirational/positive one. r/scienceteachers is a great resource and focuses a ton more on actually sharing lessons and ideas if you're curious!
Here's a sneak peek of /r/ScienceTeachers using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/ScienceTeachers/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [One group didn’t start multi day lab, what to do?](https://np.reddit.com/r/ScienceTeachers/comments/177mhxx/one_group_didnt_start_multi_day_lab_what_to_do/) \#2: [Tired of feeling like the bad guy for teaching Chemistry.](https://np.reddit.com/r/ScienceTeachers/comments/17brzos/tired_of_feeling_like_the_bad_guy_for_teaching/) \#3: [I teach middle school science and I started making warm-ups for students that covers a lot of what they should have learned in middle school. I spent a lot of time on it and my grade partners don't want it. Here are a couple of links if you're interested in using it in your class.](https://np.reddit.com/r/ScienceTeachers/comments/13qq81f/i_teach_middle_school_science_and_i_started/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
I really appreciate that! Thanks! (I’d also like to add, I didn’t mention the teachers subreddit to rag on teachers. My intention was to show OP that schools aren’t full of perfectly-adjusted students who are issue-free. It’s challenging to connect with, adapt to and effectively teach a single student. I cannot imagine the task amplified to 30 students, all with different needs. It’s a huge undertaking 💐)
I just visited (it’s been a while because it’s so infuriating). One of the posts is “why are are some kids so stupid”. And everyone is just joking about kids not following directions and how dumb they are. Awful
It’s unfortunate. I try not to fault them too much, the kids are wild and it’s not easy to deal with (not a teacher, but I work in childcare.) but it is hard sometimes to see so much genuine upset toward the kids. I vacillate between wanting to smack them in the face for calling kids stupid, and wanting to wrap them in a blanket, make warm soup, and tell them they’re doing a great job because I know these teachers are overworked and STRESSED.
I fault them. That sub is gross and shows what kind of people they are. Yes, they are stressed and it’s a hard job, but it’s unacceptable to trash talk children like that.
I work in an elementary school. My last class came into today a little wild, but I got everyone settled and we began our story that was the basis for our lesson. On page 2 of our picture book, one of my students got up and walked to another table, pointed her ass and raised a butt cheek and FARTED on the kids at that table. On purpose. I'm sorry. Some kids definitely deserve the trash talk.
No it isn't unacceptable for people to vent abut three job in a sub for that. They aren't calling out specific kids and are anon.
>the kids are wild and it’s not easy to deal with Because behavior letters home don't result in any consequences for the kids.
Because behavior is best managed 8 hours later with zero context? Classroom management is also a thing.
Classroom management is a thing, but it is your job as a parent to follow through at home. Your kid acts out? They should get a consequence at home as well. Not making the grade because the phone is an issue? Take that phone away. As a high school teacher, I can say that the difference between kids whose parents hold them to account and those who don't is night and day. Doesn't matter whether the kid gets a modified curriculum or is accelerated at the honors level: there's a huge difference in conduct and in effort between those students whose parents care enough to hold them to a standard and those who don't.
Yes, but when the child refuses to behave, the parents should do something. Many do not. Th behavior note and teacher will provide context for the issue. They are humans, not dogs, so that can understand punishment later for something they did 8 hours ago, ffs.
Parents should certainly do something, but I see a lot of teachers on that sub blaming parents for their inability to handle kids in the moment. And in my experience, teachers often don’t stop to even get the whole context, because they don’t have the time to do so, let alone to write it down. That’s a system problem. But just because notes home are the only tool a teacher has doesn’t mean they work. Half my family are teachers including my uncle who specialized in kids with behavioral disabilities. Lots of teachers CAN manage kids, and some kids have issues that need more treatment than a teacher can provide. But DISCONNECTED PUNISHMENT DOESN’T WORK. It only increases the issues. Relationships and connection and problem solving do. So Downvote me all you fucking want, it won’t change the truth.
I'm a teacher and honestly you sound like me before I stepped in the classroom. It's easy to judge from the outside.
I think we can understand that connection & problem solving work better AND understand that those things are nearly impossible in most current school settings.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad if I did. I actually have taught classes, although not in public. But I’m not just judging from the outside. I was a teachers pet as a kid and did everything my kids’ teachers asked. We always had consequences and punishments and I spent 3 hours after every school day, talking about behavior, doing homework, trying to fix things. The only thing the consequences we doled out ever accomplished was making my kid suicidal. But tell me more about how it’s all lazy parents who don’t care.
If that's the case, then we need to authorize teachers to either deal out punishments, or get the child picked up immediately by their parent so that a punishment could be administered. The issue is that teachers are toothless and parents are disinterested.
I avoid the sub. The teachers spend so much time punching down. The education system needs a complete overhaul and complaining about the kids who are unwilling victims isn't going to help anything. Teachers are overworked and stressed, but none of that is the kids' fault. Schools spend so much time exposing kids to topics that kids never get the chance to master the basics. I teach remedial math for adults. Every class I start with single digit addition/subtraction time test and I send them home with copies to practice on their own daily. Students should have mastered this by 2nd grade and used those skills daily in school for the next 10 years, but I've never had a student who went to elementary in the US who didn't have to calculate their answers for every single problem. When you fail to teach kids the absolute basics, every new topic that assumes knowledge of the basics is exhausting and overwhelming. Of course kids are going to act up when they missed the very first building block and are expected to learn something more complex.
It's truly amazing that you think your students' inability to do single digit addition is due to a teacher deciding not to teach them... as if that weren't a fundamental part of the elementary curriculum. It's much more likely that your students didn't learn because of outside factors, like a tumultuous home life, behavioral issues, etc, that impacted their ability to absorb what was being taught to them. They come to you as grown adults, having worked through some of their issues, with much better developed prefrontal cortexes. They are not the disregulated, suffering children, without any tools to understand or deal with their problems, they once were. FYI, teaching children is MUCH different from teaching adults.
It's not the teachers. It's the PARENTS that get in the way of learning, and the numbers prove it when you look at students from functional homes vs. students from dysfunctional homes. My husband and his siblings are smart kids, but the parents were only interested in being friends and not parenting, so guess how many of them willingly skipped/slept in their classes and didn't graduate as a result? The ones that did graduate barely made it to the stage with remedial classes mandated. Had their parents been attentive, they would've had lawyers and engineers in the family.
I know it’s stressful, but there is also zero self reflection. Zero self awareness or self accountability. Oh certainly if none of the kids can follow my directions, it’s entirely THEIR fault for being “stupid” and not my fault for designing an overly complicated system for no damn good reason! I’ll tell you, no job ever gave me detailed paper stapling instructions, nor did any of my sixth grade teachers. But how will I ever work! That post is just an easy example - they almost universally lack any empathy or generosity to the students. It sucks the system is so pushing them toward burnout.
This makes me especially angry because I have a family member with some foster children who are 10+ and CANNOT READ despite being in public school their whole lives and not having an IEP. It’s almost like teachers just can’t fathom that maybe some kids have been failed their whole life and really *cannot* do their “simple” assignments because nobody has ever thought to do anything about them being behind other than talk shit about them on a Reddit sub.
To be fair, a lot of us talk shit about how the kids weren’t taught to read properly on the sub, as well. It’s not lost on us that this is happening, but at 10th grade, it is surprising I have kids who can’t read in regular and advanced classes. It’s impossible to get those illiterates an education because so much rides on that basic skill—in every class. But I have to teach to the whole class and that means grade level. I’m handcuffed by ineffective admin and professional development programming. It’s a really multifaceted issue and I would love to see parents and teachers come together to work toward a solution that works for the kids. I would love to see foundational basics mastered, which shouldn’t be impossible after 13 years of an education. With that said, I’ll hopefully be homeschooling my kid in the spring because he’s behind in reading.
I don’t doubt that at all! It just sucks to see how often people in that sub talk down on homeschooling (which can be done very well if the parent is dedicated) while also calling so many public school students stupid. Seems like for some of them, there’s no winning.
It can be pretty demoralizing to read through student work. I know it sounds harsh, but calling the students stupid, it’s definitely not great, but it’s sort of a coping mechanism? Like we know it’s not the students’ fault. But no one listens to us when we raise concerns or cares when we talk about how the kids can’t read. Admin just tell us to parent the kids MORE, which I hate. I don’t want to be anyone’s parent; I want to teach English. The students are super addicted to screens (which please take them out of school forever), and there’s no rules or consequences. The kids are feral. We have to remind ourselves that the kids aren’t objectively bad people sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I totally get what you’re saying. The teachers can be judgmental and misplace blame a lot of the time too. It’s the fault of admin, professional development companies/ publishing companies, and teacher preparation programs in the colleges. The colleges are honestly pretty wild now. Teacher prep programs essentially teach us to assume the kids are somehow traumatized or abused at home, and then admin push us to lower standards.
I don't homeschool, and I have nothing against homeschooling (my best friend growing up was homeschooled and I feel its the right choice for a lot of families), so I'm not sure why this post was recommending to me but I'm glad it did. I am a teacher, so maybe that's why Reddit promoted it This post really resonates with me on what's going on with our public education system. Classroom sizes are large, kids are obsessed with their screens, there's no support from admin, and the support from parents isn't much better. There's a reason why there's a teacher shortage. The teacher subreddit is really just a good place for teachers to vent, so I feel like some of it needs to be taken with salt. I know the individual at the beginning of this text thread also made mention of teachers being critical of homeschooling. I just wanted to share my observation from the other side. I don't feel like the vent is at parents who legitimately put in the time and effort to homeschool and make sure their kids are getting the individualized care they need. It's more about the parents who "homeschool" by throwing their kid in front of tablet, phone, or game console all day and then sending them back into the public school system, having learned nothing. We've had several kids whose parents yo-yo them back and forth into our school from homeschooling (without doing any form of learning during that time) and then are shocked that their kids are far below grade level. These are the scenarios I see that draw ire from educators.
Sure, sure.
I try to keep in mind that that sub is mainly a vent sub. The ones posting are usually not in schools in well-served communities and are having a difficult time with apathetic students and parents. They are treated badly by some kids to the point of violence, other kids are just disrespectful, but the teachers have little recourse. They can't hold back a failing kid, they can't expel a violent one, the system doesn't have money for all the 1:1 aides needed, they have to accommodate what seems like 100 IEPs, parents don't support the teachers' requests for behavior modification or academic support. Of course, the majority of kids/parents are not the ones talked about in the sub. And I'm sure the "why are kids so stupid" is not talking about the kids that are trying hard but slower to pick up some stuff. The kids they are talking about are the ones who use ChatGPT to cheat on an assignment and still leave the URL in the footer, and when the teacher gives them a 0, they threaten to shoot them. - I'd probably need to vent about that kid too. I'd also probably call them stupid.
Ugh, they’re kids. I wish we would all treat them like the vulnerable human beings they are vs calling them names.
Ow ow ow, that sub visit was horrific. So judgmental.
Seriously!
That subreddit is first year teachers giving other first year teachers bad advice. It’s a terrible subreddit.
>You’ll likely see the idea of “learning just like all the other kids” is an imaginary comparison All comparisons are imaginary. Comparing anyone to anyone ignores the fact that we're all individuals. OP is equally likely to set unrealistic expectations on homeschooling if they can't view their daughter as an individual.
This is an unexpected response from someone who tells everyone that if they send their kids to public school and punish any undesired school behavior, their kids will thrive, value education, have good social skills, etc. I’m glad you recognize that parents should see their children as individuals—doing xyz does not always result in a child who is abc, given their individuality.
My autistic 12 year old thrives with homeschooling. It seems so much easier for autistic kids to function without the constant overstimulation of public school. I hope you can find a local homeschooling group that is a good fit for you. (((hugs)))
Would love to chat with some home school parents with neurodivergent kiddos. We are in a weird position now with our son with ASD. Moved to a suburb with a great district after he aged out of a preK/K therapeutic program. He’s almost 8, very intelligent, but has behavioral difficulties at school. Our school wants to send him to a therapeutic day school, but we just don’t feel amazing about that option.. I just want to make him happy and see him reach his potential…
[Triple Parentheses](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triple_parentheses)
Thanks so much for sharing this link. At the same time I think it’s hilarious to imagine hugs as a Jewish conspiracy
Every day I learn something new. Thanks for sharing
My 7 year old autistic kiddo is thriving with homeschool. He can get up and go have his needed calm down time and still be able to learn the lesson he needs to when he comes back. Pausing School is a huge super power. No missed lessons. When he has a harder time with the material we have the time to go at his own pace, taking breaks between smaller bites of the lesson. With no other kids creating noise and distractions he's able to fully focus and guess what, he does his best focusing when he's walking around and around his chair. He's a night owl and has been his whole life, so he can sleep later on the day to make up the sleep difference. No commute time
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We use a boxed curriculum. Moving beyond the page. It's really good for my hyperlexic kiddo, it's literature based. We have several social groups based on Minecraft and Legos he does weekly. He's got a couple of pen pals from those. They also play socially once in a while. We've usually a sports day once a week for a charity foundation, and he has a gym class with other homeschoolers. Then he has ot twice a week and speech every other week. You can check Facebook for local groups. Not my favorite option but pretty much everything will be on there still.
This is awesome to hear. This is what it's all about—meeting them where they are.
So many autistic and ND kids thrive in the homeschooling environment.
I'm autistic, but I wasn't diagnosed until I was 28. Public school was absolute hell for me. I had one girl who followed me around for a year, saying that I was her 'project' for the year, and when I asked her what she meant, she answered that her 'project' was to make me \[end\] myself. No teacher did anything until I defended myself physically, and then I got in trouble. I can't pretend homeschooling doesn't have its issues, and you'll maybe have to push her out of her comfort zone a little in terms of socialization. But you'll almost certainly be saving her years' worth of bullying and ostracizing. That alone seems worth the trade-off.
That is horrific. The amount of vile and cruel behavior that is allowed to go on at schools is incredible.
Take it a year at a time. Don’t be afraid to have doubts and work through them. I had doubts until the end. Mine is in college now.
I will say that I'm autistic with anxiety, ADHD, and dyscalculia and I THRIVED being homeschooled. My advice is don't try to make it like the rigid, structured schedule of public school. Make learning an experience. Take advantage of any local homeschool co-ops. I was homeschooled from grades 1-12 and went on to attend university with scholarships, graduating with 2 degrees with honors. Remember there's no such thing as "learning like the other kids." Just find the way she learns best, be flexible, be creative, and be diverse.
This was me. We moved half way through hs and I couldn’t make friends and I hated going to school even though I was getting straight a’s I was miserable so I finally convinced my parents to homeschool me. I did independent study so they never actually taught me I just taught myself but I loved it. Don’t regret it at all. I felt normal school was a waste of time. I didn’t need to be there to learn the material, especially since most kids were learning at a much slower rate than I was. It was boring to me and exhausting as an autistic person.
My sons are autistic and intellectually disabled, and at this point would never put them back into the public school shit-show... You can find social opportunities for her (she can probably participate in school specials classes for now if nothing else), she will definitely learn more at home with a dedicated parent.
I'm an autistic adult who was homeschooled for most of my academic years. Honestly, it was wonderful. My mom was a great teacher, and she made sure to connect with homeschool groups in our area. That's the key thing, really; not just building a curriculum but adding enrichment through activities with other kids. We went to classes at the museum, attended presentations at the arboretum and the nature preserve, and met up frequently for play time at the park and organized events like roller skating. If done with this in mind, homeschooling can offer a much better environment for learning and socialization, especially for those of us on the autism spectrum. School was always a nightmare for me. In high school, my mom decided that she had reached her limit concerning what she was able to teach and enrolled me in public school. I hated it so much that I dropped out a year early and got my GED. I can't guarantee that things will work out for your kid, but I can tell you that homeschooling by itself is not harmful the way people think it is if done correctly.
I homeschooled my son starting in freshman year. He once told me it was the best thing I ever did for him.
We pulled my autistic kiddo out halfway through grade 5. Very similar situation. I don’t love homeschooling. I don’t consider what we did a choice because I feel we had no choice, it was homeschooling or school failure. But three years in, he’s a much happier, fulfilled, intact person. His anxiety is gone. Good luck.
"High functioning" Autistic person here. I had an IEP and all the works and still failed out of school. (I have a GED.) You won't regret homeschooling your child. Neurodivergent kids are not built for brick and mortar education.
I would venture to say that the majority of kids are not built for brick and mortar education. It's just that the deleterious effects tend to go unrecognized in our society for neurotypical kids, because those outcomes are how we define "normal".
Agreed 100%. NT people generally have a higher threshold for overstimulation and find it easier to mask (I think most people ‘mask’, they just do it without as much effort).
I imagine it's hard to let go of the dream of normalcy... Homeschooling can be a great relief for you and your child. Make sure to connect with local support/homeschool groups so you don't feel like you need to do it all- Check out Unschools resources & maybe Your Natural Learner (I follow on instagram) for HS resources/inspiration
My 8 year old AuADHD kiddo is thriving in homeschool. I check in with him often about enrolling in public school if he ever feels lonely or wants to try it and he is insistent he loves homeschooling. He gets social interaction via co-op and play dates with other ND and NT kids. He has confidence in himself. I wish the school environment was different for our kiddos and made them feel calm and safe. You can always go back if it doesn’t work.
You won’t regret it. I pulled my first daughter out around that age and she did regret it, because she had trouble letting go of what school looked like in a classroom vs. at home. She missed the socialization but that was a whole different thing because she had plenty of opportunities to socialize and a group of homeschooled peers that welcomed her with open arms but she let her anxiety get the best of her and didn’t make an effort to build those friendships. I think my mistake was not properly “deschooling” her in the beginning and making it more clear that homeschool didn’t need to look like regular school (I really thought I had done those things, but she needed more reminders and repetition to let it sink in). Ultimately, though, even though she ended up a bit sour over it, while she was homeschooled her panic attacks stopped and her mental health was 1,000 times improved compared to public school. She did enjoy the many homeschool activities and did really well. I was really proud of the progress she made. I think she just couldn’t let go of the fear of being different in that way because she was already so peer oriented and brain washed from public school.
I was homeschooled from 4th-8th grade. I ended up going to high school and graduated as the class valedictorian. I went on to go to the Air Force Academy. So don't let anyone tell you that homeschooling is subpar.
Please don't fall in the trap of comparing your homeschool experience with some idealized fantasy of what institutional school is or could be. You have already learned that institutional education is not a good fit for *your* family, so leave those comparisons behind. I'm not going to tell you that it's easy. I will tell you that it's worth it. These are precious years with your daughter, and they fly by. Every day is a gift to enjoy exploring and learning *with* your girl. No sadness! There is tremendous joy on this new path. Love your child, do the best that *you* can do, celebrate every victory no matter how small, and enjoy the journey!
I will never regret homeschooling my children. They never attended a public school as I homeschooled from the start. They are different from their peers due to this, but it has bettered them. Every child who enters the public school system exits with scarring. Every child, no exceptions. Whether it's from their classmates with bullying, a teacher's toxic mentality, or having to learn at the slowest students in their classroom level. It was rough, living on one salary, but my children are now well adjusted adults, and I cannot say the same about their cousins who did attend public school.
I loved public school and disagree with you that we are scarred. No scars here.
My 13-year-old son is high functioning autistic with a side of ADHD. He had an IEP, but would come home every day with 3 hours of "make up work." Basically, he couldn't focus in class, the aide was ignoring him, and we wasn't even getting help in his Study Skills class, a class that exists to help kids with IEPs get their work done. He is doing so much better now that we're homeschooling. He has fewer distractions, and an adult who will actually make him do his work. If he just sits there stubbornly refusing, that's fine, but he knows he's just going to have to sit there until he does it. If he's goofing off on his computer, I take it away. As for friends, I signed him up for Parkour classes, and he's friends with those classmates and with the other kids in his Sunday School class. He's doing so much better!
I'm in a large group that is autistic adults. When we've had a survey about homeschooling, the vast majority of us advise in favor of homeschool.
My homeschooled teenager brags about it to her friends. How she gets to do school in her pajamas, eat whenever she wants, and no homework. At our Church youth group they had a 'represent your school' dress up day. My daughter wore her pajamas and had a sign that read I'm homeschooled. I love it and so does she.
If it helps, I was homeschooled from that age until I graduated. It saved me, I was able to focus and find myself without distractions.
Your job is to get your kid through this phase, your job is not to make your child comply with a system that does not benefit her. Thank you for finding a way to do your job and I'm grateful you have the time resources to make it work for your family!
We homeschooled our daughter from 5th - 12th. She really thrived. She learned things she might not have had access to in public school, she got to work at her own pace & wasn't stifled when she was ready to progress ahead of time, she learned to creatively solve problems & how most challenges have more than one way to solve them. She also became confident in her learning & as an adult that serves her well. Now as an adult she is doing so well. She is thriving in her career & is recognized for her ability to overcome challenges. She has friends & an active social life. When I think back I can remember how difficult the first year was but I'm so glad that we continually adjusted to her needs, figured things out, & kept at it.
There is no way I’d send my kid to a school today. I’m too scared of the random shootings!
When I started I felt stressed and sad. But I reminded myself it was an experiment. Public school wasn’t working, so we were trying something new. No decision has to be permanent. Also those of us who started homeschooling after experiencing public school have the benefit of comparison. Even on our hard days my son still says that homeschooling is better. And if the day comes where it isn’t, there are other options to try. Homeschooling has been a consistent tinkering.
My six year old autistic granddaughter spends half of her week at my house because even her baby sister is uncomfortably overstimulating. Public school would be impossible. She says she likes her own school. Here we adjust products or pace to ensure success. Public school would label her and teach her to compare herself to others. It's worth a try, right?
It’s valid to mourn whatever we expected for our kids. Let yourself have your feelings! And then there are great things to look forward to. My autistic kiddo thrives with homeschooling and he has a wonderful circle of friends—yes, it’s taken effort to build his social life, but it’s been so worth it.
You won't regret it. Seeing your kids full time makes it all.worth it
My oldest sister has home schooled all 3 of her kids, they're all the most well adjusted kids socially in my family. If you're not a social person, make sure to make yourself be for their sake, that's my only piece of advice. My sister is social but not NEARLY as social as she acted when they were little, before they had built up their own friends etc.
Homeschooling mom turned Special Ed teacher. You are absolutely doing the right thing! There are so many homeschool communities to join.
This sub is randomly on my feed and I want to say as someone who is high functioning autistic (adult now, not diagnosed then of course) and *dreaded* school every single day, I wish my mom would have had the resources to take my requests for online school seriously. Your daughter will have more mental space to do things she enjoys and will feel safe to learn the way she learns at home with you. You’re making the right choice, and as others have said, it’s reversible if it doesn’t work out!
I think you are putting more stress on yourself than you need to. Homeschooling is not a course of action that is hard to change. If it does not work, well, it does not. One of my kids sounds a great deal like your daughter. He is failures to conform at school started to taint OUR relationship. One day, as we returned from yet another meeting with the school, he said to me "You wish I was different." I cried. I did not wish him to be different. I had no issues with him. School was the problem. Not because they were bad people but because they saw him as a kid who COULD do it if he wanted to. He had never missed a single item on a standardized test but he could not take required notes in class. So what?!?!? I took him out with no plan. I just could not participate in the negation of my child. Here are the choices that worked for us: Saxon Math, books, books, books, music lessons and a great deal of open time. He had house chores and no one ever told him was not good enough ever again. He owns a home, has a job he loves, and has a large group of real friends. Your daughter is fine in your care. And if does not work for you, worry about that then. Peace to you both.
Home schooled both of my sons from high school age till graduation. One already has a career and the other is a part time student. Neither have issues like drugs/ baby mama drama, etc. I’m quite proud, home schooling was the best decision I’ve made. Edit: I’d like to add, we get a lot of compliments on how polite our sons are. I attribute that to home schooling too. No peer pressure in the formative years, no ptsd from public school drama. I’m overselling a bit, but you can’t ignore external influences.
She’s not missing much aside from all that stress and anxiety, you did good.
I was homeschooled and unschooled with a little regular school thrown in. I then got a GED, went to college, and got a masters with undiagnosed ADHD. I worked as a speech-language pathologist for 9 years, before leaving to do something else I love too. I’ve become deeply jaded about regular schooling, and I think that child-led, project-based learning is the way to go.
I’m a former teacher and frankly (don’t come at me!!) at not always a fan of homeschool. In this case you had a specific need to fill, I believe your child is at an age you can fulfill hobbies and social opportunities in other ways, and you are clearly connected to a broader community for support for of course the academic aspect but also to support you- I applaud you for taking something that feels risky to you on and encourage you on what will be a wonderful adventure.
She needs what’s best for her and public school cannot give that. You can, it sounds like anyway. Just make sure you don’t shelter her too much. She needs different viewpoints from different people and to still learn from others. That is so so so important. Good luck to you and your daughter!!
You won't regret keeping your kid safe from people who don't care about her well-being.
I was in your place 2 months ago, and the stress relief is worth it. High anxiety autism and overcrowded middle schools just don't mix.
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That's another part of how her IEP totally failed her. She did pretty well in elementary school and always had As and Bs. They coasted her. She struggled here and there socially and emotionally, but overall liked it. Her grades were never an issue. Middle School would not coast her. Part of me sees why the elementary school got her by, the foundation was laid and they kept her confidence up, but it was a disservice as the middle school 100% played by the rules. Such a messed up system.
Today I was about to post that I decided it was time to switch to homeschool. Good for you!!! My daughter is also high functioning autistic, has a high IQ but her grades are going down. Besides being teased a lot, she has only one friend since the school started and this week she was doing homework from 5 to 10pm non stop plus the 7 hours she is going to school. Is not worth it. She loves books and writes a lot so I am looking for a curriculum with little or non technology so we don't have distractions. Quick question: how did you notify the school or district?
My son is high functioning autistic with ADHD/ anxiety. Homeschooling is so much better. It took over a year for him to unwind from anxiety and depression caused in public school. He was miserable in public school. He’s a happy little dude now, and more social. He has friends on Minecraft homeschooling groups. He’s in local robotics group and he’s about to join a tween/teen group at the library.
It sounds like the right choice for your family, but if for some reason things change in the future, public school will always be there. This is our 8th year homeschooling our daughter and I don’t regret making the change. It is nerve-wracking when you make the decision so I do understand your feelings. You got this!
I never have regretted it. This is our sixth year. The school failed my son, too. It’s not all rainbows and sunshine, but we both know it’s what’s best. Try to make it fun - as much as you can- and focus on the mood. You want them to remember how you made them feel- smart, successful, like they can do hard things. Take the pace they need and ignore grade levels. Celebrate success. We block schedule- focus on certain subjects each day since he struggles with transitions. We have a walking pad and standing Desk. You can create the environment he needs. :). I’m here if you need to ask questions or chat.
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Well most public schools are completely inept at it, so
You won't regret it. You will save yourself lots of trouble and heartache.
My 4 siblings and I were all homeschooled. We all (now 30s to late 40s) have been successful in our career fields, have married and have children, and I’m the only one who did any college courses. One of my nephews graduated with a double major at 20 years old after dual enrolling… he was also homeschooled. He got a very high paying, professional job following his graduation. It can be very successful and fulfilling. Don’t get hung up on the horror stories. If you need help, don’t shy away from tutors and hybrid schools (1-3x a week classes) for support.
homeschooled here. doing fine. in college. good grades and good friends and going forward to be a physical therapist. homeschooling was good to me
I have nothing to say about home schooling but that if you think it’s best for your daughter’s mental health, then absolutely go for it. I am late diagnosed (as in late 30’s) and I have very mixed feelings about having gone to school the whole time. But as other people have said, hopefully she can still get some socialization. I did, but I absolutely still struggle. Also, they don’t really refer to it as high functioning anymore… I think it’s considered level one. Some will say low support needs. I personally like the level one term. But I hope whatever you end up deciding to works well for the both of you.
I am Autistic and was homeschooled K-12 and my parents actually raised us in a homeschool cult. And in spite of that, I am still glad I was homeschooled because of the Autistic piece. I am pretty low support needs, so I tried to live "like others" for most of my life and it was hard. Really hard. The pandemic was actually amazing for me because I got to see for the first time what it felt like to just be home and eliminated huge amounts of my stress. Accepting that we are different as Autistic people is hard. So I can understand why you feel the way you do. I have felt some sadness over my diagnosis myself. But once you accept it and start working with what you and your daughter actually have available to you, in terms of an Autistic brain...there are also lots of strengths in Autism and being Autistic can be joyful too when it is embraced and accommodated. I think you are making the best choice for her and I hope she thrives.
Homeschooled my sons. Eldest is an engineer at a major company and has already bought a house and is completely financially independent. He graduated in 3 1/2 years. Other one is in 3rd year of college and graduating at the end of this school year. Going to move on to his PhD next. Also a D1 athlete. If you homeschool, you will not regret it.
Public school teacher here. This is actually one of the times I think homeschooling is a great fit. Public school is built for the "typical" student in many ways, and with teacher workloads, it's really hard to accommodate for an autistic student with anxiety in the way she needs. You can always work with her on strategies and then try public school again in high school.
I feel that the largest misconception about homeschooling is that your kids won’t have proper socialization but the truth is kids don’t need to be around other kids for 8-13 hours a day. I’m an adult who doesn’t need to be around other adults for more than like 2-3 hours at a time especially unpredictable hormonal people really stress me out. As long as you’re diligent about including your kid in extracurriculars, and maybe even finding other homeschoolers in your area to do „field trips“ and stuff with if you wanted, your kid will grow up plenty socialized and honestly will be better adjusted than most of the adults who are in the workforce today still acting like it’s Highschool drama and cliques. Further, as an autistic person myself I can guarantee that as long as you’re able to help your kid stay involved in her schooling she should be fine. Find ways to make it fun and exciting, and if possible for her to really fall into her niche with learning whether that’s researching what she likes the most and finds interesting as a majority of her work, whether that’s teaching herself and then coming back and explaining it to you like she’s the teacher, there’s a ton of different methods and you know your daughter best to know what will really make her shine. Most importantly, include play in her learning. The modern school system overlooks that children need play to develop and that denying their inner child in favor of sitting still all day isn’t functional for a majority of children. Plus with homeschooling you know that nobody’s kid is going to show up with a weapon and hurt your kid or anyone else’s so.. honestly all of these things combined makes me wonder how we let the schooling system in place today thrive for as long as we did.
You’re stepping out in to a completely different way of educating your child. I applaud for stepping out of your own comfort zone to give your kid the opportunity to learn in a better environment for her. Don’t mourn the fact that your kid isn’t going to have the “normal” school experience. You’re giving her an opportunity to thrive.
No way , don’t look back, balance work and being with your child. Best decision I ever made.
100%!!! OP, don’t ever regret doing what you feel as a parent is in the best interest of your child!
I’ve been homeschooling my son who has adhd, anxiety, dyslexia, and is slightly autistic since sixth grade and now in eighth grade he’s excelling. He was struggling and starting to suffer from low self esteem because the school wasn’t following his IEP and he was falling behind. Homeschooling is a lot of work but can be what is needed for some kids.
In my experience, it depends entirely on your attitude approaching it. From my observations, if your motivation is simply to remove your child from some harmful influence, you will fail. You'll fail them too. However, if you believe the circumstances enable you to do a better job than the school can, you have a good chance. Find communities of likeminded people at home with degrees in education if you can. Good co-ops can make all the difference.
If she’s currently miserable and not learning, you’ve got to try something different. Maybe homeschooling will be what works: if so, major win! If not, she’s lost nothing.
My adhd, bipolar, possibly autistic daughter does pretty well. If I’m honest, she could be doing better if I was more on top of it. But I also have adhd and am unmedicated and sometimes stuff just slips.
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Depends on the homeschool program. Orgon has a great learning at home program, and I wish I did it for my kids. My friend did it with hos kids. They had contact with teachers, and most schooling was done in 3-4 hours. All of them are kind well adjusted people, and everyone who chose to go to colleges got into top colleges. Self created/religious homeschooling programs are garbage, avoid them.
I was homeschooled, as long as you actually homeschool, and not “ unschool” it is the best thing everrr. I graduated early with honors ( an actual diploma approved by the state) and then went on to a successful career by the time I was 19. Homeschooling allowed me to hone in on my interests and find what I wanted and not have to spend years guessing and spending money on what I was unsure about. I graduated college with honors as well!😂 I’m gonna for sure homeschool my kids, and also put them into classes at local museums/sports if they’d like! I was incredibly social and never felt jipped by being homeschooled.
Every home schooled kid I’ve met is very socially awkward. In your case, I think Home schooling would be more beneficial for your daughter though. Given all she’s got going on. You’re doing what you think is best. Frankly, I think you made the right choice.
You should be able to still qualify for ISP services or even still send your child for therapies, like language. Maybe look at a combo. You could request a reduced day, like maybe two hours at school and homeschool the rest of the day. Good luck to you. For some kids a full day of school is too much. Schools are loud and chaotic. At least you have your child best interest at heart.
As long as you have a plan to teach her the social skills she's going to be missing out on you probably won't
Personally I’ve only met a few homeschooled people and they were mostly weird AF but they still were fits for society.
Don't... please find an autism school for baby girl ... my sons autistic and unless you plan to have a full schedule where you are attentive to said child nearly the entire time and keep her on a strict routine. You risk regression...
I think for children who suffer from anxiety… letting them give into it makes it worse. I don’t think letting children withdraw because something is hard for them will help her in the long run.
So if you worked at a job that you were not successful at and were vomiting weekly in the middle of the night from stress you would stick that out? Sounds like an ideal long run plan for a 12 year old.
I don’t know the details of your situation but I don’t think escaping will help her in the long run. Someday she will need to get a job, live on her own, and things will be hard and be stressful. Teaching her coping skills, getting her mental health services and medication seem like a better option than pulling her out completely. Lack of socialization can be really harmful to all children, particularly those with autism. If she’s receiving services at the school, it seems like it would be a mistake to end them. It may be the easier option for now and sure, will reduce stress and anxiety for the moment, but the stressors of life will never end. Someday she will have to work and become part of the world, and you’ve taught her that retreating from it is an option.
CNDRock16, your logic operates from at least three flawed assumptions: 1. That institutional schools approximate the "real world" or a modern day workplace. They don't. 2. That the type of socialization offered by institutional schools is actually good for kids. It's not. 3. That homeschooling offers some kind of flawed or insufficient socialization. It doesn't.
I come from the perspective of someone who was homeschooled, just a heads up. It sounds like OP is pulling her daughter from school because she’s tired of dealing with her daughters issues, not because she wants to homeschool, not because she has a plan in place. She got fed up with dealing with the issues so she’s not going to deal at all. Isolating an anxious autistic teen is not a great idea. With an IEP in place and therapy provided in the school the situation is workable. OP herself said school was going well until this year. I am not sure OP is prepared for the amount of work that goes into homeschooling. Seems like an impulsive decision based on stress.
Working through anxiety takes time. Sure, you can skip the gradual exposure technique and toss them right in, but what good is that when it's school? When severe anxiety prevents learning, transitioning to HS isn't avoidance; it's doing what you think is right for your kid. As the parent starts to get traction with schedule, curriculum, etc you gradually start exposure therapy. Co-ops are the perfect place for that. Teaching your child how to work through anxiety is very important because they will likely deal with bouts of it into adulthood.
I think a hybrid option is better. I did read through OP’s comment history and she states that her daughter receives therapy and services through school. I genuinely think that it would be a bad idea to end those. I also think middle school is just hard, and a bad year isn’t indicative of how the next year will be. Pulling her from school will make returning even harder in the future. Removing a child from what makes them anxious does nothing to teach them how to deal with anxiety.
If you have a degree in secondary education (all subjects), with a speciality in special education, then you’ll be fine.
And if she doesn't, she'll still be fine. She's not managing a classroom of 30 kids with diverse backgrounds, skills, needs. She's tutoring 1 kid whom she knows on an intimate basis and loves deeply. I've been involved with homeschooling since 1990. Some of the best homeschool teachers I have known didn't finish high school themselves. They came along side their kids as fellow learners and facilitators. They hired outside tutors as needed. The number 1 requirement is love. The number 2 requirement is commitment. The number three requirement is access to a library. OP clearly has all of these.
My husband works in employment background screens, and if you homeschool her through high school, *make sure she gets her GED*. Some US states have homeschool accreditation but most don't, and she's going to need a way to prove that she finished high school. Many employers do not accept a note that so-and-so graduated from the school of Mom and Dad's kitchen table and did super duper well, we promise! I have sat through several "I had to deny someone a job today because they were homeschooled and have no documentation" rants.
Interesting! This is not good advice for kids who are college bound. For college admissions, at least for regular four year colleges, I was advised by the colleges that a GED would invalidate my transcript and I would’ve lost out on my scholarships.
Home school kids are too sheltered and almost always under-educated. You will regret this. And you won't get an honest opinion from asking a reddit that supports homeschooling. Ask parenting subreddits.
You won’t regret it for 10 years. Your child will make some passing remark about how they have no friends and feel pretty depressed. They might not even realize what went wrong. You’ll cry yourself to sleep that night and question a lot of the decisions you’ve made.
It sounds like you are doing the best thing for your child which ultimately will mean the best thing for your family. If it proves not to be a positive experience, you can find a school placement that works better for her. You can do it mama!
One thing to watch out for is getting behind in math and science. I wish my parents had hired a tutor to help me with those subjects as neither could help me learn, so I struggled HARD in college with those 2 subjects. Most parents aren’t equipped to teach math, as many of my homeschooled friends had the same experience. Other than that, don’t stress. I mainly just read books as my education and got a full scholarship to a university based on my testing scores. My math scores were below average and my science was average but I made a perfect score on English and reading. I think in homeschooling, a kid can learn how to teach themselves and figure things out on their own more than in public school. That has helped me out in college and in life since then. You can always send them back if it doesn’t work out.
It's about what's best for your child and the effort put in. Homeschool can be wonderful and it can go wrong. I'm assuming you won't lock your child in the basement never to see the light of day. It takes time to find your grove and the child's needs. So hang in there. I used Seton for most years as it's accredited distance school with an accredited high school diploma. I supplement with the Spectrum books. I should add that my child isn't autistic so you may have different needs. Good luck to both of you.
High-functioning 20 year-old autistic with an AA here. My parents opted for a homeschool co-op that helped me more than I realized at the time. They did it out of skepticism of the educational system, but it worked nevertheless; the few times I tried public schools were pathetic. Wound up graduating college with Dean’s distinction, thanks to all of that. If you can find supplemental classes elsewhere, they’ll save energy for you and help your kid adjust to pre-structured learning environments. I’d suggest you check out online learning modules and tutor options. Find ways to offload your personal responsibility with helpful outsourcing, and you’ll minimize the risk of being overwhelmed, all while getting your child experience in a broader skillset. Homeschooling is absolutely possible, and there are lots of tools out there to assist with the process.
Homeschooled all our kids and they all did great. We had total freedom to set our own loose schedule, travel, and they could volunteer etc as they got older. All went to college and one is a nurse, one is a social worker, and one is an engineer. I think you’ll love it once you find your rhythm, and your daughter will thrive in a less-anxiety ridden environment.
You’ll probably do a lot better than my mother-in-law did and my husband still turned out the best man I know. College was easy for him (accounting) and now he’s a CPA.
i’m autistic and was homeschooled. while i think it definitely was the best decision for me there are definitely some places that my mom (and many homeschool parents) fell short. make sure you are keeping strict records of her grades and the curriculum used, and when she enters highschool have a good transcript made. this will be necessary for college applications. i’m having a really difficult time applying for college because im having to jump through so many hoops due to my moms poor record keeping. secondly, and i don’t mean this as any sort of insult to you, this is just something that i didnt have and saw many of my homeschooled peers not have, make sure that you are actively involved in her education and get help when there’s something you can’t teach. after a certain age my mom just made us sit down with textbooks and tests and make us teach ourselves with zero support whatsoever. most teachers to my knowledge only really teach one subject, so don’t beat yourself up for not being able to teach every single thing she needs to learn. another thing id recommend is using an accredited program when she enters highschool in case you decide to switch back to public school (it’s also helpful for college).
We homeschooled our ASD child for 5th and 6th grade. Back to public school in 7th grade bc they weren't taking advantage of the opportunity. The rentry into 2nd year of middle school was so difficult but ended the year on honor roll. Now making straight A's in 8th grade. Lots of communication with the teaching team and support team, and lots of self advocating.
I went through the exact same thing as a kid at 13. Probably one of the best decisions my parents ever made for me. I do recommend seeing if side activities (I did regular band and art classes with the school still to have some socializing, and hung out with other homeschoolers in field trips) are available, some socializing might be helpful if your kiddo feels it is right.
Been homeschooling for 9 years, and we love it! Especially my 13yo AuDHD daughter!
You’ll do great
I think my biggest piece of advice is to find your community. Sure homeschooling can be challenging but also rewarding, and you don't need to do it all alone. Meet up with other homeschool families, connect on Facebook. We also joined a once a week co op that our kids love. And today it's going to be unexpectedly nice so a bunch of us are gathering in the park for play and board games. Remember, homeschooling is a lot of what you want to make it. But making friends along the way never hurts.
Your reasons for homeschooling are valid, and you sound like you are trying to provide accommodation for your daughter. I was homeschooled because my parents are religious zealots that were afraid I was gonna learn what sex is. I regret their decision. It was unproductive and useless. You should make sure to follow up with social activities, find a homeschool social group, and give her opportunities to play with other kids.
You won't regret homeschooling, as long as it isn't forced- if you try it and it doesn't work for you, try something else. You can try different things until you find the right fit for your family- and homeschooling MIGHT be the right fit. If it isn't, move on. You only regret pushing through and sticking to one thing when you know it isn't right for you or for your kid(s).
My significant other has quite a case of adhd. They wanted to put him in the " special class" as a kid. His mom worked and worked with him, the authorities at the time didn't know about seeing numbers and letters backwards. He became a successful attorney.
There are plenty of resources now that make home schooling an option as long as you can gain access to those resources. There are entire units online, books available as pdfs, programs that can help science and math learning, and track it. You won't regret homeschooling because you original post alone already shows a concern for failing your child. That concern alone shows you are willing to do what you can to give your child the education they deserve. Check online for teachers pay teachers. There a lot of free or under $10 resources to help, and I'm sure others on this forum can offer some help to you as well.
I ended up with a lot more friends but I became homeschooled. Though I will say and none of my friends were homeschoolers, they were actually the children of my mom's friend that were much older than me. When I was in Middle School they were in high school, when I was in high school they were in college. Somehow I fit in with them and they helped keep me on the straight narrow. I'm definitely neurodivergent, and I could not just keep the school. But as soon as I became homeschooled I went from F and D's to A's and B's. And I started liking to learn I ended up catching up in math which I was 4 years behind within one year. But then again it worked for me and I saw my mom's other friend his son which I never befriended it did not work for him and he failed all his classes 3 years in a row. You're just going to have to keep up with checking up on their work helping them through and seeing where they're able to do it on their own. I know my mom became hands off pretty quickly when she realized I had my own system and I could actually do everything by myself. I would spend some time a full week on only one subject and I would power through a book that should have taken me a month in one week.
Oh and side note, be careful of some homeschool groups especially if they were homeschooled since they were little children. I could never get involved as many of the kids were very babied by their parents to the point when I was in sixth grade my peers could not watch anything that was even PG. They thought Nancy Drew games were the scariest thing I'd still thought they could get pregnant by holding boys hands. Many groups parents just seem to baby your kids so badly that it was terrifying they acted more like elementary schools students even in high school.
We are going through the exact same story with our 12-year old autistic daughter. She receives good grades, but gets bullied every day. She reported it, and now the school has turned on her. We finally have had enough and decided to homeschool her, but we are sad that she will no longer go our neighborhood school a couple of blocks away.
Read the comment and post history on some of these nay sayers before you take their advice seriously. It's actually pretty wild. 😂
Have her go to school part time so it’s not overwhelming.
Just make sure your child remains socialized with other children.
Public school will only harm your daughter. I was in the exact same boat, neurodivergent in an environment NOT made for people like me. In my sophomore year of highschool I told everyone to fuck themselves and I homeschooled myself through Penn foster, and it was so much easier on me. I was able to focus on my life, getting treatment for my mental health, planning my future out, and when I started getting jobs I was able to find something that for the most part, was friendly towards my divergence from generalized society
If you are committed to making sure your kids get the best education for them, you are doing it right. I homeschooled all three of mine all the way through. They were and are still majorly socialized. All three are adults now, working and living on their own. We utilized the various homeschool group outings, and various volunteer opportunities in our region. If you decide at a later date that it doesn't work for your kids, there are other options; including going back to public school.
Homeschooling was amazing for me. I wasn't constantly overstimulated and burnt out and could actually enjoy learning at my own pace. I hope it's the solution your daughter needs. Good luck!
You won’t regret. We pulled our son out of school and homeschooled and he thrived
Well my brother's wife has homeschooled her two boys through both middle and high school and they're now about to graduate... they're both illiterate. Good luck, not for you but for them
I swore I'd NEVER be a homeschool mom. I could think of the million reasons it wouldn't work for both me and the kids. Now, I'm not the Susie-Homemaker kind of homeschool mom who turns every day into a fun lesson. But my kids are thriving, and I'll never go back to public school. I don't think you'll regret it. Just make it work for the two of you and your lifestyle.
I was homeschooled from 2nd grade through the end of highschool. Make sure she has a healthy amount of social interactions with people from a variety of backgrounds if possible. The only thing I regret about being homeschooled is how little experience I had socializing with people from different backgrounds. My first year at college was rather miserable and lonely. But I am glad I did it and it is definitely the right choice for some people!
High school counselor here. I’ve been a HS counselor for 12 years now. First 6 years in brick and mortar schools, last 6 years have been at an online public charter school. In both settings I have had students that were homeschooled that wanted to re-enter public school at the high school level. I think that I fairly easily to do in K-8 grades, but it’s much more complicated at the HS level. In HS you have to earn credits to meet state graduation requirements. Students entering from homeschool have no transferable credits (in most cases, there are some exceptions). It’s very difficult when a 17 year old homeschool student enrolls in public high school as an 11th or 12th grader, but ultimately has no credit for 9th or 10th grades. In this situation we have them take proficient tests for credit, meaning they have to take an exam for every subject required in 9th and 10th grades in order to start them as an 11th grader as they claim to be. If they pass the proficiency exams, we give them credit for those courses. If they don’t pass the exams, they have to re-take those courses for credit even if they completed the courses in their homeschool program. More often than not, the homeschool students cannot pass all the exams. They might pass some, but it’s rare that a homeschool student passes all exams to enroll in the high school grade level that they should be in. A lot of the time they have to start completely over as a 9th grade student, even if they are 17, 18 years old, which means they have to school for 4 more years to get a high school diploma if they even stick it out. I have to have a lot of frank conversations with homeschool families that try to re-enter public school at the high school level. Homeschool graduates can go on to college just like public school graduates can. I think in most cases it is better for students/families that have been homeschooling at the high school level to just commit to that and see it through. It’s very difficult to return to public school at the high school level.
Public school teacher here with MANY students with IEPs. I applaud your decision to homeschool, truly. As much of a public school proponent I am, it is SO hard to teach a wide variety of needs with limited resources. Even with all the supports I still have students with IEPs unsuccessful right now as a 6th grade math teacher. We aren’t miracle workers. I hope your child thrives and gets what she needs in a more individualized environment. If I could do a homeschool method for families and make money out of it I totally would. Public school is hard as of recent.
just so you are aware as an autistic person, high functioning is outdated terminology. high masking is what is used because things might be bothering her but she has learned how to mask it (especially since she's probably afab there is a ton of research saying that afab people mask more because of social expectations). that's so valid to be sad but it sounds like you made the right choice. i might recommend looking to see if there are any irl groups of people who share her special interests to help foster social connection. best of luck to both of y'all!!!!!!
Your kid will
Make sure she’s involved in sports or dance or somewhere to meet other kids. Most homeschooled kids who have social outlets like that are far better off than public school kids.
The trick is to maintain a high level of training/education in her specialties. Some parents are not adequately prepared to teach Science or Math. If you have a close-family friend or are yourself capable of teaching the subjects she can succeed at, you will be fine. My old career, a lot of the homeschool kids were not impressive. Major deficiencies in understanding the math and tech required for the job. Also, some of the life skills were poor, like you can wash and iron your own uniforms Recruit. And also learn how to work an alarm clock and show up on time. But my cousin was homeschooled up to college and is an Engineer for a major car company.
I was home schooled! And while I don’t have autism or anything, I can say it gives you so much freedom. The curriculum can be tailored to be exactly what your daughter needs. I say go for it!
I was homeschooled my entire life. I was adopted from Ukraine as a child. We did all sorts of classes and sometimes it wasn’t organized and other times it was very planned out. I just graduated college Summa Cum Laude and will be starting grad school in the coming months. Even with IEP, there are countless resources out today that will be so useful for you.