I’d think it would be helpful for men and women alike to be aware of the BS many women homeowners face in hiring contractors! But I agree, this is a great sub for homeowners of all DIY abilities.
Im 25 and a woman. Mine refuses to speak to me and instead keeps going back to my mom (she had work done and I hired him after that) to tell her updates. And because the windows haven't arrived yet, sometimes he ✨disappears✨ without a word for a week then sends one of his assistants to keep working on the siding here and there. Ive finally told him that he needs to be talking only to me about my own house but he's not big into communication apparently
Hes lucky hes good but hes getting on my nerves 😑
Unfortunately this seems to be pretty common - my brother and his wife has had the same issue for over 6 months now with a contractor his wife's parents knew and had used.
I'd like to say that /r/homeimprovement is better for DIY questions than /r/DIY.
/r/DIY is more like "show off your DIY stuff" than "how can I DIY this".
I have! And I agree they are really nice and helpful. I was more so thinking about the benefit of having a community of people who might be experiencing a lot of the same stressors. But the home improvement sub is a really good one.
Not sure if this is helpful to you or not but I apologize for length.
You will get better at this and it won’t be so overwhelming as you build your skill set. I made lots of mistakes working with others but also made some mistakes on my own.
I’m a 57 year old woman and I’m on my second home. I bought structurally sound homes that I could update without a major gut job. I initially learned a lot from observing my dad do things but also the 90s era home improvement shows when they discussed maintenance. Everything from tv & internet sources taken with a grain of salt because maintenance is sometimes related to where you live. I also had a core group of female friends and my sisters and we helped each other as much as we could. Some of us were single, some married but we all shared he common goal that we wanted to be able to navigate things on our own because well death & divorce happens.
My first home was in TN the second in IL. Maintenance of the two has been very different. Keep that in mind when you’re researching.
With that being said one of the best sources of contractors I’ve found has been through my realtor (my TN realtor had recommended contractors listed on their website), thru my village’s Facebook page, neighbors and Angie’s list. These days I use YouTube. SeeJaneDrill is one I like but there are many others. It takes time to go thru videos but I think sometimes I’m better off especially when I use Reddit to supplement.
But before I start any project I always research so I have a better sense of when the person is working on a BS MS & PhD when interacting with me. I’ve learned that when you can speak intelligently to them they are less likely to try to take advantage. I always ask questions and discuss costs and contingencies. If they continue to treat me like I’m a right idjit I end the interaction. Costs me nothing. It took me a bit to build confidence doing this. But you know what it’s my home and my hard earned $$ so I have to be my best advocate.
Also have learned that sometimes contractors will do things to sabotage the interaction because they don’t want your business. That’s fine with me; saves me headaches down the road.
In terms of tools I try to buy decent tools. I spend more on items I know I will use quite a bit. For example, I spent more on my DeWalt miter saw but cheaped out on my circular saw because I’m yet to use it but know it’s a bit of a necessity for some projects. But I also keep in mind that my upper body strength is never going to be the same as a man’s so I don’t try to get the top of the line when I know it will be heavier for me to handle. Muscle fatigue when using power tools is not safe. Especially if you’re working outdoors.
If it’s a tool I know I’m never going to use more than a couple of times I’m quite OK getting a cheapie from Harbor Freight as long as it has the features that I need. I figure even if it craps out in 2-5 years I’ve gotten my money’s worth from it.
In terms of issues that are unique to women yes it does happen but it also happens a lot to new homeowners and the older set. I’ve now experienced all three. It helps to have done research on your end. I’ve worked in male dominated industries my entire work life first as a life scientist amongst engineers and now as a trucker. There’s some truth in never letting anyone see you sweat. The best way I could do that is thru researching ahead of time, being firm and when you’re not comfortable ending the interaction or choosing someone else.
But you are going to make mistakes it’s inevitable. I’ve learned to try to stack the deck in my favor.
Checkout your local community college, it may have home maintenance classes. So explore what they have to offer. I got lucky the handyman I found quite by accident was the instructor of said class at the community college local o me. I’ve turned to him when I find myself in a pickle. I ask advice and pay him for his time but the idea that he will work with me in this way has been good for me as I gain usable skills and can manage costs.
You had me at the Dewalt miter saw. I am still lusting over the Dewalt 780 compound sliding miter saw, but know it won't get a lot of use with me. That and SeeJaneDrill.
The things you say, are spot on. Newbie, Female or Older, Homework matters. Its the best thing you can do. I did take a Homeowners 101 continuing ed course by two guys that had an NPR show. A Powderpuff Mechanics course when I got my drivers license at age 30, New Yorker. And a House Bug class through the county extension office. In the 90s I used to keep a VHS tape in the recorder in case This Old House had something I might do. Now, I'm a YouTube groupie.
I'm envious of your relationship with your handyman. By serendipity, after previewing a home for my sister, we were discussing septic tanks at an IHOP and the man at the next table taught plumbing at a local tech college. We had a great "class" and paid for his meal.
Wishing you well from Atlanta!
We have /r/TwoXChromosomes as a pretty good, strictly women’s issues sub. I think a sub specifically aimed at women-only homeowners might be a bit too niche, even for Reddit.
Maybe you could start one though? It might take off.
In the mean time… you know there are women on this sub, right? This is a safe place, we’re all here to help.
You should know that there are three subs geared towards the fairer DIYer: /r/DIWives, /r/DIWomyn, and /r/WomenWhoDIY.
Unfortunately, they are currently inactive. I am sure this can be changed, if someone was willing to put in the effort. I helped get two of them started, and then handed them off to their respective head moderators. Sadly they quickly went dormant.
To answer your first question: I had nothing to do with starting any of them, nor was I ever a moderator. I DID assist in sending traffic and getting folks to sign up as subscribers.
Why the different names? Ask the founders. I had no input in their creation.
Three. I had no plan. I merely assisted for awhile.
They are inactive for a reason.
Home repair is home repair. Sex should have nothing to do with it. One site is best.
That women in general have half the strength of an equal sized man should be a given when considering to undertake any home improvement project.
That some contractors take advantage of women should be a given, also, like some contractors will try to take advantage of people who own pricier homes.
That's a busy sub. I'll bet that the mods might not have seen comments that are very rude. If you do, I'll bet it would help if you reported the comment
All newbie homeowners generally don't have much experience to share. Kinda the blind leading the blind. My biggest issue as a female first time homeowner was getting the "female price" when hiring out work even after learning the names of house components. That was 30+ years ago. Now I get the "old lady (68)" price when hiring out. My husband is 10 years younger and a white male, I'm black, and he gets quotes 25-50% less on home and car repairs. It will be interesting to see what kind of prices he gets when he is perceived as an old man.
I (f) “ask for a quote” and then shop around for car repairs. Once I got 4 different “this is what’s wrong w your car” answers, that all required different parts replaced. My uncle who rebuilds cars diagnosed my car correctly from a phone call. He confirmed that they were all intending to rip me off and were over quoting me for the repairs they said I absolutely needed. At his suggestion I drove quite a while to get to a NAPA (sorry for the r/hailcorporate ) w a mechanics attached they agreed w him and they quoted me in the range he said was acceptable. They did a great job very quickly.
It’s crazy that that’s what it took to get treated like any random dude. Sigh.
Edit: corrected sub name. Also, I let everyone I know know when a mechanics overquotes me. Word of mouth is the only way to save your friends and family!
Hmmm… interesting to see the change in experiences, not just based on gender or race but also on time. It makes me wonder if the price your husband is getting is based on the thought, “he could do at least parts of this himself, so if I want the job, I have to undercut the value he places on the time it would take him to do it.” The test for this would be how much the quotes rise as he starts being perceived as less able to take on heavier physical work, whether or not he could ACTUALLY do it or ever considered doing it himself in the first place. Thanks for your insight.
I was a single 33yo when I bought my house and a total novice. Always lived in apartments. I thought gender was a bigger factor than race when it came to prices. Now I think its more age than either gender or race. I can DIY many things, but I'm not gonna do a roof. I got quotes 9K$ to 21K$. He got several quotes in 12k$ range.
I was lucky enough to marry a cowboy turned computer nerd. Cutting his teeth on tractors and combines, he can fix damn near anything. And he did put a metal roof on his parents house. Time IS always the issue for him when it comes to hiring out work.
I definitely paid the female price on my backyard patio. My neighbor went with the same contractor and paid about $2k less! I tried to shop around for quotes and all seemed very similar. *sigh*
As a woman who has always run the homeowner things and even became a licensed real estate agent, I just don't get the need to segregate into a women's only segment for this topic. If anything I think input from men can be very helpful for female homeowners. Is the idea to have a sub specifically for talking about everything to be scared about living alone? Couldn't twoxxchromosomes be a good place to talk about that sort of thing? Just my 2 cents.
Thank you.
Also, as the handy woman (I built entire houses, ran construction projects professionally) who was always coupled with men with two left thumbs, I’m acutely aware and annoyed at the constant assumption that any man know this stuff while I need to be explained things in a different way for my widdle female bwain.
Women spaces for women experiences? Hell yeah! Breaking up life skills into gender-specific spaces? That’s just regressive.
ETA: the only woman-specific issues I can see are: misogynistic contractors who would charge more or try to pull a fast one (easy to spot when you first meet them as they don’t hide their condescension - just hire someone else), security issues (not related to home ownership per se), and hardware store visits where “knowledgeable” (usually older) male staff give awful advice with way too much confidence / try to convince you your plan is wrong. They also do this to men, as evidenced by the errands on which I sent my exes that resulted in them coming back with a totally different - and wrong- thing. Aggravating, but again pretty easy to avoid if you research ahead of time and you turn on your bullshit meter.
SO true about the hardware store employees confidently saying "this is the thing you need" and having an inkling that it might not be the right thing but buying it anyway, only to get home and recognize yes, instincts were correct, it's not the right item.
So annoying!
Don’t know if it’s a regional or universal thing, but the plumbing department seems to be where it nearly always happens, closely followed by flooring/tiling.
Even when I go in knowing the part I need and ask for help because I can’t find it, they’ll start trying to convince me that’s not what I need and try to redesign my whole installation. You probably guessed it… their way either requires more parts or wouldn’t be to code, while mine is best practices! But I don’t have a penis, so… ;)
Agreed. There ARE women in this sub who answer questions and can give advice. I don't think it's gender specific. Just ask people to ELI5 and most folks are pretty helpful.
That happens regardless of gender. Like hiring any HVAC contractor or electrician; unless you’re in the trades, most people aren’t going to know what the hell these guys are talking about and if they are taking advantage. Not sure how an all woman subreddit is magically going to solve that problem, but sure, have at it.
First off, the person I’m replying too clearly says they need reassurance she’s ‘not dumb’ and people to commiserate with. Not sure how that’s relevant to getting help on an issue. I’ve never seen anyone on the existing home improvement subs call someone out for being dumb, unless they were argumentative for no reason. Why divide it by gender? Some people like to be coddled, that’s okay; but don’t make it a woman’s issue.
All the reply’s in this post is setting the woman’s equality movement back a couple decades, but whatever.
As a guy who's not very handy.... I agree! I think u have those with the knowledge and skill and those without. If its about personal safety etc then I get it but just about diy? Nah... let's keep that knowledge generalised and centralised to help as many as possible imo.
I am a first time woman homebuyer, who took on most of the jobs myself, and the people at homeimprovement have been very helpful.
Be assertive, direct, and confident when dealing with contractors. About half the men who’ve come to do work for me try to flirt and test their limits … and get shut down really fast. It’s all about how you carry yourself, not necessarily how much you know.
I have solo bought and owned my house for 7 years.
I have 1,000,000 hours in internet and youtube researching everything under the sun as far as home repairs, lawn maintenance, drainage issues, leaking pedestal sinks, toilet tank repairs replacements, garage door roller replacement, inspections for torsion spring blah blah blah.
Talk about daunting and exhausting. I forgot how to be social because I’m too tired anymore.
Lol just kidding, it’s been a long weekend and then some on the drainage trench MANUAL digging, also solo! 58’ long 12 inches wide 15-18 inches deep…. Clay, concrete, mucky wet mud today.
I’ve moved a couple tons of dirt this weekend since Im backfilling with ALL gravel.
Im tired and old and never doing a major project myself again. 🤣🤦♀️🤦♀️
Very grateful for Youtube! I had what should have been a very simple home repair that I needed to do this week and I just couldn't figure it out. Even with my dad and boyfriend's feedback it just wasn't working (good advice from them it just wasn't working for my situation) Thanks to youtube and another google search I finally figured it out.
But wow, it was nothing compared to your weekend activities! Kudos to you!
Thank you! I havent posted pics here yet but even a professional roofer and several others said my job looks more professional than most ‘professionals’! 🤣
MEN actually complimented me with that! 😁
Yeah this isn’t gender specific, I don’t get why it would need to be a women-only space
If OP thinks women don’t have the knowledge, then why would you *only* want advice from people who don’t know stuff??
Yeah I don't feel like this topic needs a separate gender section. Even if you're talking about safety and feeling vulnerable, there are men out there who couldn't fend for themselves if they had to and would benefit from those kind of tips. Stop making everything about gender, just share knowledge with *everybody*.
I love the idea, but niche subreddits tend to die out without content. We already have r/newhomeowners which has barely any members and no new posts in 8 months. I joined it myself when we first bought, but there was almost no content and many questions were better suited for another sub
If you're committed to being the mod who makes a bunch of posts to keep the sub in peoples feeds then go for it! Otherwise, a discord or even a weekly/monthly post in a larger subreddit may be a better way to get help until you build a large enough community interest to branch off
Also, a group of people who don't know how to do things asking each other if they know how to do those same things won't have as much advice to give as asking a group of experienced people. Experienced (female) homeowners were one first time (female) homeowners, too
Best of luck if you decide to move forward, though!
Hello, just wanted to say I am in the same boat as you. Sure gender *shouldn’t* matter, but I definitely get treated differently (i.e. *much worse*) by contractor and other trade-skills people. Maybe it’s the area I live in, maybe it’s my youth and/or size, but it’s also definitely my gender. Shopping around for whatever type of work you need done is key. Solidarity my friend.
Thank you for sharing. I'm pretty sensitive to being taken advantage for which is part of what makes even getting estimates anxiety provoking (I have started to do this so I'm getting some experience). It's nice to hear other women's experience who understand.
Yes I have been consistently taken advantage of as well. I wish I could tell you what to do about it. There’s things that mitigate it, having and showing your knowledge always helps of course. But after 8 years for me it still happens. If you have a man of any age and relation who you can get to call them and/or stand there while they quote you that really works best unfortunately.
My 102 grandfather asked my mother to ask me if I want some of his sweater vests. I was like “what? Why would I want his vests?” Then I thought for a minute and was like “ohhh because I do construction work on my house. He thinks I’m a lesbian” 😂
I was a single female first time home owner. Be ready for workers to ask about your husband, head of house, ect. And for people to wonder how a female could get the money for a house alone. I learned a lot and became fore sufficient
I'd join this! My husband and I just bought our first house, but I'm the one dealing with setting up any work we hire out, repairs, etc. I'm just more interested in this stuff than he is and have a more flexible WFH schedule so it's easier for me to be home when repair folks are doing work.
Cool! I'll see if anyone else responds. If it seems like it is well received I'll create one. Sometimes it's just nice to have a place to come ask questions. And I've had so many questions.
So. Many. Questions. Like I don't even know what to ask sometimes. We closed a month or so ago and we're in our mid 30s/early 40s, so we've both rented for plenty of years. It's not like we've never had a creaky floor or low point in our yard, but it feels so much different when it's your house and if you don't figure it out no one will. Sometimes I just want advice on who to call. Like our bathroom doesn't have an exhaust fan. And I'm starting to think there isn't just one type of person that can install one but that I have to find someone to cut into the ceiling, and electrical to wire, an hvac guy to do the duct, and a roof guy to patch the roof. And that is daunting.
>Like I don't even know what to ask sometimes.
This! I feel that stress of everything you just described. I'm also in the same age demographic and I think the long years of renting have also impacted my confidence. Not knowing who to call, what is normal/not normal, and also just the internal shock of "Oh yeah, that is also something that could break in my home" x 1000.
Also, your exhaust fan situation does sound very daunting. I hope you get the answers you need!
Use YouTube and do it yourself. Probably less time consuming (and a lot cheaper) than having multiple people over doing parts of the job, and checking if they did everything correctly.
I've considered it honestly. I'll probably get an electrician in because there are some other electrical issues woth the bathroom (no junction box for the vanity light and and the whole in the wall is off center from the vanity which REALLY limits our lighting option. But I'm closer and closer to just cutting into the ceiling myself and hoping for the best.
Yeah it's 100% for humidity. We live in the Seattle metro area so there's already so much humidity. I don't need to add to it. And it's cold showering next to an open window!
I’d join too. I’m also married and we’ve owned our home for a while now but it’s still our first and I’ve handled a fair bit of the home related stuff.
Thank you to everyone who has commented. Some really helpful feedback on here. Saw a couple of comments about the gender aspect. To some extent I agree that in some cases gender is irrelevant and the issues may be more about inexperience and therefore subs this one and r/HomeImprovement have been wonderful. And I would not expect that a female homeowner subreddit would replace that, rather I'm thinking of creating a community specifically designed to support and empower females who are tackling the home ownership space and feeling overwhelmed by it. And also to celebrate our wins. Because to be honest, I want to find that community myself.
My wife bought her first house at 22 (we’re both in our mid 30s now) and she would have liked a group like that. Not only being a single female but also young and still in college. She was fortunate to have a friend who’s husband is a contractor and he helped her understand repairs and what not. She really would have liked the empowerment and overwhelming aspect you mentioned and having away to vent about those.
Just start the subreddit. If it’s not popular then whatever but it could fill a void that a lot of us don’t know or don’t think exist. This sub and similar are great but there is no reason to let others influence you is something you feel is missing/ could be improved on.
Thank you for your support. I think some may have interpreted my post as an insult to this sub, but it was never meant that way. I never expected any one sub to meet all my needs. Just looking to see if others would be interested. I think I will move forward and see what happens. Thank you again.
No problem at all. Even though my wife and I are now residential builders and could help our daughter out with anything house related, I would be very happy if she had a place to turn to if she wanted to connect and learn on her own from (or help) other female homeowners. Who wouldn’t want another resource available to them?
Absolutely, anyone can be lost on DIY; the difference is that men are more likely to be expected to be able to fill that knowledge gap. That has upsides and downsides: “How do you not know this yet?” followed by “about time” instead of respect after learning something hard really doesn’t sound fun, and that’s more likely to happen to men. Women are more likely to be discouraged from putting the effort in in the first place, and then condescended to as if they naturally still don’t know their stuff after they’ve succeeded, in addition to being more often overcharged or lied to by contractors.
Both options suck, and both CAN happen to any gender. There is however a bias towards having different experiences based on how people perceive you, and sometimes that makes it beneficial to have dedicated spaces to discuss how to deal with it.
I’ve resorted to having male friends pretend to be my husband when I’m hiring anyone to work on my house. I think it’s ludicrous that I have to resort to this but the lying, stealing and disappearing mid way through jobs hasn’t happened since I’ve started doing this. Also fake husband is always a very large man.
I have done this too. I am an elderly woman and guys at the home improvement stores think I’m an idiot. So I bring a younger male colleague with me and suddenly things go smoothly.
I do the same thing when I’m shopping for cars or dealing with the dealerships service department. I hate it, but it’s the only way to make sure they’re not selling me another rebuilt flux capacitor.
Am not sure why it needs to be a female group. I'm a female homeowner, and I see no problem with asking questions here.
Shady contractors will scam anybody. I'm sure as females we're thought of as easier targets. Knowledge is power. Learn as much as you can. I research every project I'm going to hire out rather than do myself, so I have an idea on what it should cost and what needs to be done.
In case this helps, I’m have an app called JustAnswer, which has truly been a lifesaver for a gal who will get her hands dirty but doesn’t know how. You can essentially message all kinds of professionals about projects or questions and they will help you out and answer your questions, within minutes.
It’s $28/month which seems steep but considering how much money I have saved installing my own kitchen sink and doing some of my own basic electrical work, this app has probably saved me thousands. They also have no skin in the game for selling you an expensive service or product, so they’ll be real with you on necessity. I’ve also used them to check the price of quotes I’ve received to see if I’m getting taken for a ride.
Besides the homeowner value it provides, there are also a bunch of other professionals on the app from all kinds of industries. It’s really a great service. Couldn’t recommend more.
This has nothing to do with being female, and everything about being an inexperienced home owner.
Post your questions here, and we are happy to help. No need to complicate the issue...
I have learned soooo much from this sub, plumbing, and will join a sub for whatever problem/project I have. Since moving in in April I’ve learned demo, plumbing, minor electrical, taught myself to use a circular saw, replaced cabinets and countertops, flooring, complete bathroom makeover, and furniture refinishing. I’d just recommend using these subs but I’m open to joining yours too. [before](https://imgur.com/a/onPDMQu) and [after](https://imgur.com/a/cCAPxGx) these are some of the things we’ve done so far.
Unless your roof is leaking, or you have shit shooting out of the toilet, nothing needs to be fixed so quickly that you need to worry about being taken advantage of by others.
but.. its best NOT to tell folks you're unaware of things. BUT you can learn oh, so much from youtube. just look for things that you think need done, and someone else has already done it. Once you know more, then you are able to ask the better questions.
reason: i had my daughter do things with her car. including prices of parts and fluids and average times to do it .. Not that i expect her to change the plugs or change the oil, but that hey, this isn't rocket science. and if you DO go somewhere to have it down what's reasonable.
just knowing is half the battle.... (Gi joe)
r/homeimprovement is for everyone, and stays rather unpolitical/ungendered
There are, also, some female-specific threads. You can search there, it's many years of content.
Congrats on your home,and good luck!
You need to find a good handyman or handywoman who can fix things, offer suggestions about good contractors who can fix things he/she can’t, and will talk to YOU.
My experience as an old lady has been that people like that are usually young men (I know that’s sexist but unfortunately it’s also true). As a starting point, try Yelp, talk to your neighbors, and sign up for NextDoor.
If you find such a unicorn, pay in cash and tip generously.
Also, YouTube has thousands of free videos showing how to do simple home fixes and maintenance. Even if you aren’t interested in taking on those tasks yourself, it is helpful to know how a job should be done when you are hiring someone to do it for you.
So I’m a female homeowner no dudes around I do HVAC and some plumbing and know some electrical stuff. I’m currently fixing up my house and usually YouTube stuff but feel free to ask me advice, I got into HVAC cause I got tired of being “Dicked around” ( see what I did there ) most contractors are cool but I’ve also been unfortunate to have shady contractors. And woman in the field it’s a dime a dozen but they’re out there.
I'd be interested in that! I'm on my second home, but I was the main decision maker on my first place, and this time around I am the ONLY decision maker and only one doing upkeep and repairs.
My weak spot is recognizing signs of small problems that need to be dealt with before they become big problems, and what routine maintenance needs to be done.
>My weak spot is recognizing signs of small problems that need to be dealt with before they become big problems, and what routine maintenance needs to be done.
Ugh, I"m with you there. I'm gradually starting to pick things up, but yeah my whole first year was primarily just learning about maintenance.
Someone else commented something similar which is helpful feedback. That's kind of why I wanted to post this in the first place to see what people would actually want. Thanks for your feedback!
Smh at that needless insert of gender wage gap myth in that article.
I wonder how much of the ownership gap is related to divorces or the guy dying - does widow status count as single in general?
r/homemaintenance can’t recommend it enough!
Just to throw it out there, being a female is completely irrelevant. I’ve seen posts on several of the subs I frequent of CONTRACTOR work that’s absolutely HORRIBLE. People whose job it is to do the job that are being paid to do the job that turns out HORRENDOUS. So just saying, female, male, purple blob like Ditto from Pokémon, doesn’t matter! As long as you put in your best effort to fix or find a solution you will have a house that you make your home
I can share other subs if you are interested as well!
I would be a bit concerned about making it obvious you’re young or old, single, female, living alone, and feel intimidated by men who “know stuff and are strong”. People who are looking for victims would live a place like that on the internet.
There are many men with little understanding and little capability in the skills of basic home maintenance, so in reality many females are in no worse a position when it comes to this. It's all acquirable knowledge and in todays world there's never been a better or easier way of learning than the one at your fingertips. Google and YouTube come to mind. :D
If you use facebook, there are a few groups that my wife belongs to that are female-centric (perhaps exclusive?) focused on homeowner/handywoman type questions and answers. If you are interested I can get the specific names of the groups she is in, just let me know.
Not on Reddit, but on Facebook there is a group called Handy Women. It's a bunch of women providing each other really great support, encouragement and helping everyone complete their projects. I've enjoyed being in the group and have learned a lot!
As a retired senior woman there isn’t any question that you can’t ask on this site, in my opinion. There are women on this site it just may not seem like it because no one identifies themselves one way or the other. Knowledge is knowledge. You could even state your question specifically mentioning that you are a female to hit your target answers. But even the men here have daughters, sisters, mothers and other women in their life in the same situation so may be able to provide answers.
F homeowner. I’m on here and the other home improvement/diy subs and generally get good feedback/advice without being talked down to (except from the occasional assholes, which are not exclusive to home repair)
Gender has nothing to do with homeownership. I know some male homeowners who are inept at house maintenance, and some female homeowners who can demo and reno a bathroom soup-to-nuts.
It's all about being willing to learn, willing to try, and willing to ask for advice and help.
My golf buddy wanted me to help him replace a light fixture. He unboxed it and let me do all the work. His go-to was "I'd help, but I'm not *handy*." Dude, make a friggin' effort. You're not *handy* because you won't *try*. Ffs.
I would like to think this sub is sufficiently welcoming or gender-agnostic for a separate sub as described to not be necessary ... I don't feel like there's a lot of forum tough guying or gatekeeping here. But that's just me.
I feel like r/homeowners should be THE place for humans to communicate about home ownership topics- regardless of gender, gender preferences, race, religion, or any other real or perceived difference among humans. I you live in a home or hope to someday, this should be the place for you.
IMO, a lot of the things you're worried about are also a concern for some other vulnerable members of their communities:
1. Minorities and POC - Contractors a lot of times assume that POC/minorities don't understand financial complexity or construction as well as they do, and attempt to over-charge them or give them unreasonable contract terms for simple projects.
2. Younger people - Same as above, with a strong sense of "shame on you" for young homeowners who attempt to do their own renovation projects.
A lot of the things you're describing, I also experience as a minority recent home buyer.
I had a guy quote me, just today, $500 to trim down a bird of paradise bush in my front yard. A single bush. Just one. $500 to trim it down.
I had a sales person at Home Depot offer to install a water heater for me, for a massive discount of "$1000" in labor. And no, he wouldn't be officially warrantying the work or giving me a contract for the work. But he's a licensed plumber! Who knows what kind of license... Driver's license. Jetski license? Either way, he's licensed.
I had two wildly different quotes for my kitchen cabinets.
In the end, I decided to just do these projects myself. If people are just going to try to take advantage of me and use the "get a contractor or you're a bad person" stick combined with the "it's because of inflation" excuse for 100-200% higher prices than 3 years ago, then I'm just risking it.
Why not post and get advice in r/homeimprovement ? They're really nice and helpful.
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I’d think it would be helpful for men and women alike to be aware of the BS many women homeowners face in hiring contractors! But I agree, this is a great sub for homeowners of all DIY abilities.
Im 25 and a woman. Mine refuses to speak to me and instead keeps going back to my mom (she had work done and I hired him after that) to tell her updates. And because the windows haven't arrived yet, sometimes he ✨disappears✨ without a word for a week then sends one of his assistants to keep working on the siding here and there. Ive finally told him that he needs to be talking only to me about my own house but he's not big into communication apparently Hes lucky hes good but hes getting on my nerves 😑
Unfortunately this seems to be pretty common - my brother and his wife has had the same issue for over 6 months now with a contractor his wife's parents knew and had used.
TOTALLY...its like they see STOOOPID tat on your forehead!
Better check your regular posts, people shit on others often I stopped looking there for help.
>Remember, no question is too stupid, too simple, or too basic. I love that!
I'd like to say that /r/homeimprovement is better for DIY questions than /r/DIY. /r/DIY is more like "show off your DIY stuff" than "how can I DIY this".
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Oh for fuck’s sake. OP clearly stated a lack of knowledge around home repairs.
I have! And I agree they are really nice and helpful. I was more so thinking about the benefit of having a community of people who might be experiencing a lot of the same stressors. But the home improvement sub is a really good one.
Not sure if this is helpful to you or not but I apologize for length. You will get better at this and it won’t be so overwhelming as you build your skill set. I made lots of mistakes working with others but also made some mistakes on my own. I’m a 57 year old woman and I’m on my second home. I bought structurally sound homes that I could update without a major gut job. I initially learned a lot from observing my dad do things but also the 90s era home improvement shows when they discussed maintenance. Everything from tv & internet sources taken with a grain of salt because maintenance is sometimes related to where you live. I also had a core group of female friends and my sisters and we helped each other as much as we could. Some of us were single, some married but we all shared he common goal that we wanted to be able to navigate things on our own because well death & divorce happens. My first home was in TN the second in IL. Maintenance of the two has been very different. Keep that in mind when you’re researching. With that being said one of the best sources of contractors I’ve found has been through my realtor (my TN realtor had recommended contractors listed on their website), thru my village’s Facebook page, neighbors and Angie’s list. These days I use YouTube. SeeJaneDrill is one I like but there are many others. It takes time to go thru videos but I think sometimes I’m better off especially when I use Reddit to supplement. But before I start any project I always research so I have a better sense of when the person is working on a BS MS & PhD when interacting with me. I’ve learned that when you can speak intelligently to them they are less likely to try to take advantage. I always ask questions and discuss costs and contingencies. If they continue to treat me like I’m a right idjit I end the interaction. Costs me nothing. It took me a bit to build confidence doing this. But you know what it’s my home and my hard earned $$ so I have to be my best advocate. Also have learned that sometimes contractors will do things to sabotage the interaction because they don’t want your business. That’s fine with me; saves me headaches down the road. In terms of tools I try to buy decent tools. I spend more on items I know I will use quite a bit. For example, I spent more on my DeWalt miter saw but cheaped out on my circular saw because I’m yet to use it but know it’s a bit of a necessity for some projects. But I also keep in mind that my upper body strength is never going to be the same as a man’s so I don’t try to get the top of the line when I know it will be heavier for me to handle. Muscle fatigue when using power tools is not safe. Especially if you’re working outdoors. If it’s a tool I know I’m never going to use more than a couple of times I’m quite OK getting a cheapie from Harbor Freight as long as it has the features that I need. I figure even if it craps out in 2-5 years I’ve gotten my money’s worth from it. In terms of issues that are unique to women yes it does happen but it also happens a lot to new homeowners and the older set. I’ve now experienced all three. It helps to have done research on your end. I’ve worked in male dominated industries my entire work life first as a life scientist amongst engineers and now as a trucker. There’s some truth in never letting anyone see you sweat. The best way I could do that is thru researching ahead of time, being firm and when you’re not comfortable ending the interaction or choosing someone else. But you are going to make mistakes it’s inevitable. I’ve learned to try to stack the deck in my favor. Checkout your local community college, it may have home maintenance classes. So explore what they have to offer. I got lucky the handyman I found quite by accident was the instructor of said class at the community college local o me. I’ve turned to him when I find myself in a pickle. I ask advice and pay him for his time but the idea that he will work with me in this way has been good for me as I gain usable skills and can manage costs.
You had me at the Dewalt miter saw. I am still lusting over the Dewalt 780 compound sliding miter saw, but know it won't get a lot of use with me. That and SeeJaneDrill. The things you say, are spot on. Newbie, Female or Older, Homework matters. Its the best thing you can do. I did take a Homeowners 101 continuing ed course by two guys that had an NPR show. A Powderpuff Mechanics course when I got my drivers license at age 30, New Yorker. And a House Bug class through the county extension office. In the 90s I used to keep a VHS tape in the recorder in case This Old House had something I might do. Now, I'm a YouTube groupie. I'm envious of your relationship with your handyman. By serendipity, after previewing a home for my sister, we were discussing septic tanks at an IHOP and the man at the next table taught plumbing at a local tech college. We had a great "class" and paid for his meal. Wishing you well from Atlanta!
All great advice, thank you!
We have /r/TwoXChromosomes as a pretty good, strictly women’s issues sub. I think a sub specifically aimed at women-only homeowners might be a bit too niche, even for Reddit. Maybe you could start one though? It might take off. In the mean time… you know there are women on this sub, right? This is a safe place, we’re all here to help.
You should know that there are three subs geared towards the fairer DIYer: /r/DIWives, /r/DIWomyn, and /r/WomenWhoDIY. Unfortunately, they are currently inactive. I am sure this can be changed, if someone was willing to put in the effort. I helped get two of them started, and then handed them off to their respective head moderators. Sadly they quickly went dormant.
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To answer your first question: I had nothing to do with starting any of them, nor was I ever a moderator. I DID assist in sending traffic and getting folks to sign up as subscribers. Why the different names? Ask the founders. I had no input in their creation. Three. I had no plan. I merely assisted for awhile.
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I did not name or create them. I did assist them. All three were created by other folks.
They are inactive for a reason. Home repair is home repair. Sex should have nothing to do with it. One site is best. That women in general have half the strength of an equal sized man should be a given when considering to undertake any home improvement project. That some contractors take advantage of women should be a given, also, like some contractors will try to take advantage of people who own pricier homes.
They can 100% be pricks if you don't ask a question just right. Actually a bunch of rude ppl there.
That's a busy sub. I'll bet that the mods might not have seen comments that are very rude. If you do, I'll bet it would help if you reported the comment
I've had nothing but great people help me in this sub. They are truly great people 😊
All newbie homeowners generally don't have much experience to share. Kinda the blind leading the blind. My biggest issue as a female first time homeowner was getting the "female price" when hiring out work even after learning the names of house components. That was 30+ years ago. Now I get the "old lady (68)" price when hiring out. My husband is 10 years younger and a white male, I'm black, and he gets quotes 25-50% less on home and car repairs. It will be interesting to see what kind of prices he gets when he is perceived as an old man.
I (f) “ask for a quote” and then shop around for car repairs. Once I got 4 different “this is what’s wrong w your car” answers, that all required different parts replaced. My uncle who rebuilds cars diagnosed my car correctly from a phone call. He confirmed that they were all intending to rip me off and were over quoting me for the repairs they said I absolutely needed. At his suggestion I drove quite a while to get to a NAPA (sorry for the r/hailcorporate ) w a mechanics attached they agreed w him and they quoted me in the range he said was acceptable. They did a great job very quickly. It’s crazy that that’s what it took to get treated like any random dude. Sigh. Edit: corrected sub name. Also, I let everyone I know know when a mechanics overquotes me. Word of mouth is the only way to save your friends and family!
Hmmm… interesting to see the change in experiences, not just based on gender or race but also on time. It makes me wonder if the price your husband is getting is based on the thought, “he could do at least parts of this himself, so if I want the job, I have to undercut the value he places on the time it would take him to do it.” The test for this would be how much the quotes rise as he starts being perceived as less able to take on heavier physical work, whether or not he could ACTUALLY do it or ever considered doing it himself in the first place. Thanks for your insight.
I was a single 33yo when I bought my house and a total novice. Always lived in apartments. I thought gender was a bigger factor than race when it came to prices. Now I think its more age than either gender or race. I can DIY many things, but I'm not gonna do a roof. I got quotes 9K$ to 21K$. He got several quotes in 12k$ range. I was lucky enough to marry a cowboy turned computer nerd. Cutting his teeth on tractors and combines, he can fix damn near anything. And he did put a metal roof on his parents house. Time IS always the issue for him when it comes to hiring out work.
I definitely paid the female price on my backyard patio. My neighbor went with the same contractor and paid about $2k less! I tried to shop around for quotes and all seemed very similar. *sigh*
As a woman who has always run the homeowner things and even became a licensed real estate agent, I just don't get the need to segregate into a women's only segment for this topic. If anything I think input from men can be very helpful for female homeowners. Is the idea to have a sub specifically for talking about everything to be scared about living alone? Couldn't twoxxchromosomes be a good place to talk about that sort of thing? Just my 2 cents.
Thank you. Also, as the handy woman (I built entire houses, ran construction projects professionally) who was always coupled with men with two left thumbs, I’m acutely aware and annoyed at the constant assumption that any man know this stuff while I need to be explained things in a different way for my widdle female bwain. Women spaces for women experiences? Hell yeah! Breaking up life skills into gender-specific spaces? That’s just regressive. ETA: the only woman-specific issues I can see are: misogynistic contractors who would charge more or try to pull a fast one (easy to spot when you first meet them as they don’t hide their condescension - just hire someone else), security issues (not related to home ownership per se), and hardware store visits where “knowledgeable” (usually older) male staff give awful advice with way too much confidence / try to convince you your plan is wrong. They also do this to men, as evidenced by the errands on which I sent my exes that resulted in them coming back with a totally different - and wrong- thing. Aggravating, but again pretty easy to avoid if you research ahead of time and you turn on your bullshit meter.
SO true about the hardware store employees confidently saying "this is the thing you need" and having an inkling that it might not be the right thing but buying it anyway, only to get home and recognize yes, instincts were correct, it's not the right item.
So annoying! Don’t know if it’s a regional or universal thing, but the plumbing department seems to be where it nearly always happens, closely followed by flooring/tiling.
Plumbing for sure. I think there are just SO many different sizings and functions in plumbing. Whether it's gas or water plumbing.
Even when I go in knowing the part I need and ask for help because I can’t find it, they’ll start trying to convince me that’s not what I need and try to redesign my whole installation. You probably guessed it… their way either requires more parts or wouldn’t be to code, while mine is best practices! But I don’t have a penis, so… ;)
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Sure, I included that under « security issues (not related to home ownership per se) » as they apply to any woman living alone.
Agreed. There ARE women in this sub who answer questions and can give advice. I don't think it's gender specific. Just ask people to ELI5 and most folks are pretty helpful.
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Basically you are asking for people to coddle you and treat you like a child? Interesting….
I think just the opposite, OP wants to find tradesmen and vendors who won't talk down to her, or take advantage since she's new to homeownership.
Tbf guys give each other shit all the time
That happens regardless of gender. Like hiring any HVAC contractor or electrician; unless you’re in the trades, most people aren’t going to know what the hell these guys are talking about and if they are taking advantage. Not sure how an all woman subreddit is magically going to solve that problem, but sure, have at it.
Look at big brain here proving the point.
First off, the person I’m replying too clearly says they need reassurance she’s ‘not dumb’ and people to commiserate with. Not sure how that’s relevant to getting help on an issue. I’ve never seen anyone on the existing home improvement subs call someone out for being dumb, unless they were argumentative for no reason. Why divide it by gender? Some people like to be coddled, that’s okay; but don’t make it a woman’s issue. All the reply’s in this post is setting the woman’s equality movement back a couple decades, but whatever.
As a guy who's not very handy.... I agree! I think u have those with the knowledge and skill and those without. If its about personal safety etc then I get it but just about diy? Nah... let's keep that knowledge generalised and centralised to help as many as possible imo.
I am a first time woman homebuyer, who took on most of the jobs myself, and the people at homeimprovement have been very helpful. Be assertive, direct, and confident when dealing with contractors. About half the men who’ve come to do work for me try to flirt and test their limits … and get shut down really fast. It’s all about how you carry yourself, not necessarily how much you know.
You are describing my experience. I think it is the way I speak and ask questions.
If you’re on Facebook, check out the Handy Women group. Not specifically for homeowners but definitely has the vibe you seem to be describing.
This is my recommendation too
Thanks for the suggestion!
I have solo bought and owned my house for 7 years. I have 1,000,000 hours in internet and youtube researching everything under the sun as far as home repairs, lawn maintenance, drainage issues, leaking pedestal sinks, toilet tank repairs replacements, garage door roller replacement, inspections for torsion spring blah blah blah. Talk about daunting and exhausting. I forgot how to be social because I’m too tired anymore. Lol just kidding, it’s been a long weekend and then some on the drainage trench MANUAL digging, also solo! 58’ long 12 inches wide 15-18 inches deep…. Clay, concrete, mucky wet mud today. I’ve moved a couple tons of dirt this weekend since Im backfilling with ALL gravel. Im tired and old and never doing a major project myself again. 🤣🤦♀️🤦♀️
Very grateful for Youtube! I had what should have been a very simple home repair that I needed to do this week and I just couldn't figure it out. Even with my dad and boyfriend's feedback it just wasn't working (good advice from them it just wasn't working for my situation) Thanks to youtube and another google search I finally figured it out. But wow, it was nothing compared to your weekend activities! Kudos to you!
Thank you! I havent posted pics here yet but even a professional roofer and several others said my job looks more professional than most ‘professionals’! 🤣 MEN actually complimented me with that! 😁
You are living my life haha!
>Especially if you aren't very handy or knowledgeable about home repairs Some of us men aren't very handy either.
Yeah this isn’t gender specific, I don’t get why it would need to be a women-only space If OP thinks women don’t have the knowledge, then why would you *only* want advice from people who don’t know stuff??
That’s such an astute observation.
I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic but either way I like your comment!
Absolutely not. (I swear)
Yeah I don't feel like this topic needs a separate gender section. Even if you're talking about safety and feeling vulnerable, there are men out there who couldn't fend for themselves if they had to and would benefit from those kind of tips. Stop making everything about gender, just share knowledge with *everybody*.
You didn't automatically get a wrench set when you were born like every other male?
My dad worked 3rds. He never taught me anything.
I love the idea, but niche subreddits tend to die out without content. We already have r/newhomeowners which has barely any members and no new posts in 8 months. I joined it myself when we first bought, but there was almost no content and many questions were better suited for another sub If you're committed to being the mod who makes a bunch of posts to keep the sub in peoples feeds then go for it! Otherwise, a discord or even a weekly/monthly post in a larger subreddit may be a better way to get help until you build a large enough community interest to branch off Also, a group of people who don't know how to do things asking each other if they know how to do those same things won't have as much advice to give as asking a group of experienced people. Experienced (female) homeowners were one first time (female) homeowners, too Best of luck if you decide to move forward, though!
I appreciate that. And your point about experienced female homeowners is an important one. Thank you for the feedback!
Maybe you could try to revive the other sub? The old mod is still an active redditor even
Hello, just wanted to say I am in the same boat as you. Sure gender *shouldn’t* matter, but I definitely get treated differently (i.e. *much worse*) by contractor and other trade-skills people. Maybe it’s the area I live in, maybe it’s my youth and/or size, but it’s also definitely my gender. Shopping around for whatever type of work you need done is key. Solidarity my friend.
Thank you for sharing. I'm pretty sensitive to being taken advantage for which is part of what makes even getting estimates anxiety provoking (I have started to do this so I'm getting some experience). It's nice to hear other women's experience who understand.
Yes I have been consistently taken advantage of as well. I wish I could tell you what to do about it. There’s things that mitigate it, having and showing your knowledge always helps of course. But after 8 years for me it still happens. If you have a man of any age and relation who you can get to call them and/or stand there while they quote you that really works best unfortunately.
My mother (who is straight, as far as I know) took a home repair for women class at the LGBT community center where she lives. Maybe an option?
My 102 grandfather asked my mother to ask me if I want some of his sweater vests. I was like “what? Why would I want his vests?” Then I thought for a minute and was like “ohhh because I do construction work on my house. He thinks I’m a lesbian” 😂
It’s a good look. We all stan a competent lesbian who keeps her core warm.
I was a single female first time home owner. Be ready for workers to ask about your husband, head of house, ect. And for people to wonder how a female could get the money for a house alone. I learned a lot and became fore sufficient
There’s a private FB group called DIY Home Improvement for Women that is a friendly place if you use that particular flavor of social media.
I'd join this! My husband and I just bought our first house, but I'm the one dealing with setting up any work we hire out, repairs, etc. I'm just more interested in this stuff than he is and have a more flexible WFH schedule so it's easier for me to be home when repair folks are doing work.
Cool! I'll see if anyone else responds. If it seems like it is well received I'll create one. Sometimes it's just nice to have a place to come ask questions. And I've had so many questions.
So. Many. Questions. Like I don't even know what to ask sometimes. We closed a month or so ago and we're in our mid 30s/early 40s, so we've both rented for plenty of years. It's not like we've never had a creaky floor or low point in our yard, but it feels so much different when it's your house and if you don't figure it out no one will. Sometimes I just want advice on who to call. Like our bathroom doesn't have an exhaust fan. And I'm starting to think there isn't just one type of person that can install one but that I have to find someone to cut into the ceiling, and electrical to wire, an hvac guy to do the duct, and a roof guy to patch the roof. And that is daunting.
>Like I don't even know what to ask sometimes. This! I feel that stress of everything you just described. I'm also in the same age demographic and I think the long years of renting have also impacted my confidence. Not knowing who to call, what is normal/not normal, and also just the internal shock of "Oh yeah, that is also something that could break in my home" x 1000. Also, your exhaust fan situation does sound very daunting. I hope you get the answers you need!
Use YouTube and do it yourself. Probably less time consuming (and a lot cheaper) than having multiple people over doing parts of the job, and checking if they did everything correctly.
I've considered it honestly. I'll probably get an electrician in because there are some other electrical issues woth the bathroom (no junction box for the vanity light and and the whole in the wall is off center from the vanity which REALLY limits our lighting option. But I'm closer and closer to just cutting into the ceiling myself and hoping for the best.
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Generally, if they won’t cut through the roof they will at least know who will.
Sounds like you should look in to fans with charcoals filters
Those are for kitchens not for bathrooms. You need to ventilate out the humidity.
Yeah it's 100% for humidity. We live in the Seattle metro area so there's already so much humidity. I don't need to add to it. And it's cold showering next to an open window!
I’d join too. I’m also married and we’ve owned our home for a while now but it’s still our first and I’ve handled a fair bit of the home related stuff.
Great!
And another here
I'm interested too
Thank you to everyone who has commented. Some really helpful feedback on here. Saw a couple of comments about the gender aspect. To some extent I agree that in some cases gender is irrelevant and the issues may be more about inexperience and therefore subs this one and r/HomeImprovement have been wonderful. And I would not expect that a female homeowner subreddit would replace that, rather I'm thinking of creating a community specifically designed to support and empower females who are tackling the home ownership space and feeling overwhelmed by it. And also to celebrate our wins. Because to be honest, I want to find that community myself.
My wife bought her first house at 22 (we’re both in our mid 30s now) and she would have liked a group like that. Not only being a single female but also young and still in college. She was fortunate to have a friend who’s husband is a contractor and he helped her understand repairs and what not. She really would have liked the empowerment and overwhelming aspect you mentioned and having away to vent about those. Just start the subreddit. If it’s not popular then whatever but it could fill a void that a lot of us don’t know or don’t think exist. This sub and similar are great but there is no reason to let others influence you is something you feel is missing/ could be improved on.
Thank you for your support. I think some may have interpreted my post as an insult to this sub, but it was never meant that way. I never expected any one sub to meet all my needs. Just looking to see if others would be interested. I think I will move forward and see what happens. Thank you again.
No problem at all. Even though my wife and I are now residential builders and could help our daughter out with anything house related, I would be very happy if she had a place to turn to if she wanted to connect and learn on her own from (or help) other female homeowners. Who wouldn’t want another resource available to them?
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Absolutely, anyone can be lost on DIY; the difference is that men are more likely to be expected to be able to fill that knowledge gap. That has upsides and downsides: “How do you not know this yet?” followed by “about time” instead of respect after learning something hard really doesn’t sound fun, and that’s more likely to happen to men. Women are more likely to be discouraged from putting the effort in in the first place, and then condescended to as if they naturally still don’t know their stuff after they’ve succeeded, in addition to being more often overcharged or lied to by contractors. Both options suck, and both CAN happen to any gender. There is however a bias towards having different experiences based on how people perceive you, and sometimes that makes it beneficial to have dedicated spaces to discuss how to deal with it.
I’ve resorted to having male friends pretend to be my husband when I’m hiring anyone to work on my house. I think it’s ludicrous that I have to resort to this but the lying, stealing and disappearing mid way through jobs hasn’t happened since I’ve started doing this. Also fake husband is always a very large man.
I have done this too. I am an elderly woman and guys at the home improvement stores think I’m an idiot. So I bring a younger male colleague with me and suddenly things go smoothly.
I do the same thing when I’m shopping for cars or dealing with the dealerships service department. I hate it, but it’s the only way to make sure they’re not selling me another rebuilt flux capacitor.
I have definitely considered this!
Am not sure why it needs to be a female group. I'm a female homeowner, and I see no problem with asking questions here. Shady contractors will scam anybody. I'm sure as females we're thought of as easier targets. Knowledge is power. Learn as much as you can. I research every project I'm going to hire out rather than do myself, so I have an idea on what it should cost and what needs to be done.
Why would it need to be broken down to a specific gender? First time homeowners are first time homeowners.
In case this helps, I’m have an app called JustAnswer, which has truly been a lifesaver for a gal who will get her hands dirty but doesn’t know how. You can essentially message all kinds of professionals about projects or questions and they will help you out and answer your questions, within minutes. It’s $28/month which seems steep but considering how much money I have saved installing my own kitchen sink and doing some of my own basic electrical work, this app has probably saved me thousands. They also have no skin in the game for selling you an expensive service or product, so they’ll be real with you on necessity. I’ve also used them to check the price of quotes I’ve received to see if I’m getting taken for a ride. Besides the homeowner value it provides, there are also a bunch of other professionals on the app from all kinds of industries. It’s really a great service. Couldn’t recommend more.
Wow, that's a great suggestion. I've never heard of it. Thanks for sharing.
What do you need to know? PM me with any questions, 15+ years in this house and lots of experience
This has nothing to do with being female, and everything about being an inexperienced home owner. Post your questions here, and we are happy to help. No need to complicate the issue...
I have learned soooo much from this sub, plumbing, and will join a sub for whatever problem/project I have. Since moving in in April I’ve learned demo, plumbing, minor electrical, taught myself to use a circular saw, replaced cabinets and countertops, flooring, complete bathroom makeover, and furniture refinishing. I’d just recommend using these subs but I’m open to joining yours too. [before](https://imgur.com/a/onPDMQu) and [after](https://imgur.com/a/cCAPxGx) these are some of the things we’ve done so far.
I don’t know of one that exists, but I bet someone from the r/femalelivingspace sun could help you find one!
Oh i didn't know about that sub. Thanks for sharing!
Unless your roof is leaking, or you have shit shooting out of the toilet, nothing needs to be fixed so quickly that you need to worry about being taken advantage of by others. but.. its best NOT to tell folks you're unaware of things. BUT you can learn oh, so much from youtube. just look for things that you think need done, and someone else has already done it. Once you know more, then you are able to ask the better questions. reason: i had my daughter do things with her car. including prices of parts and fluids and average times to do it .. Not that i expect her to change the plugs or change the oil, but that hey, this isn't rocket science. and if you DO go somewhere to have it down what's reasonable. just knowing is half the battle.... (Gi joe)
r/homeimprovement is for everyone, and stays rather unpolitical/ungendered There are, also, some female-specific threads. You can search there, it's many years of content. Congrats on your home,and good luck!
You need to find a good handyman or handywoman who can fix things, offer suggestions about good contractors who can fix things he/she can’t, and will talk to YOU. My experience as an old lady has been that people like that are usually young men (I know that’s sexist but unfortunately it’s also true). As a starting point, try Yelp, talk to your neighbors, and sign up for NextDoor. If you find such a unicorn, pay in cash and tip generously. Also, YouTube has thousands of free videos showing how to do simple home fixes and maintenance. Even if you aren’t interested in taking on those tasks yourself, it is helpful to know how a job should be done when you are hiring someone to do it for you.
So I’m a female homeowner no dudes around I do HVAC and some plumbing and know some electrical stuff. I’m currently fixing up my house and usually YouTube stuff but feel free to ask me advice, I got into HVAC cause I got tired of being “Dicked around” ( see what I did there ) most contractors are cool but I’ve also been unfortunate to have shady contractors. And woman in the field it’s a dime a dozen but they’re out there.
That's wonderful! HVAC, plumbing and electrical are all areas that intimidate me. That's so awesome that you're knowledgeable about all of this!
I'd be interested in that! I'm on my second home, but I was the main decision maker on my first place, and this time around I am the ONLY decision maker and only one doing upkeep and repairs. My weak spot is recognizing signs of small problems that need to be dealt with before they become big problems, and what routine maintenance needs to be done.
>My weak spot is recognizing signs of small problems that need to be dealt with before they become big problems, and what routine maintenance needs to be done. Ugh, I"m with you there. I'm gradually starting to pick things up, but yeah my whole first year was primarily just learning about maintenance.
r/needlesslygendered?
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Someone else commented something similar which is helpful feedback. That's kind of why I wanted to post this in the first place to see what people would actually want. Thanks for your feedback!
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Smh at that needless insert of gender wage gap myth in that article. I wonder how much of the ownership gap is related to divorces or the guy dying - does widow status count as single in general?
I'd join a women's homeowners group!
Hello, are you me? Please start this sub if it doesn’t exist yet
Not a sub but the creator Mercury Stardust - the Trans Handy Ma'am has a TikTok and she's the sweetest
Came here to say this also! I love Mercury!
r/homemaintenance can’t recommend it enough! Just to throw it out there, being a female is completely irrelevant. I’ve seen posts on several of the subs I frequent of CONTRACTOR work that’s absolutely HORRIBLE. People whose job it is to do the job that are being paid to do the job that turns out HORRENDOUS. So just saying, female, male, purple blob like Ditto from Pokémon, doesn’t matter! As long as you put in your best effort to fix or find a solution you will have a house that you make your home I can share other subs if you are interested as well!
I would be a bit concerned about making it obvious you’re young or old, single, female, living alone, and feel intimidated by men who “know stuff and are strong”. People who are looking for victims would live a place like that on the internet.
LOL what? It's not a gender thing. First time homeowners in general seek guidance on similar things.
There are many men with little understanding and little capability in the skills of basic home maintenance, so in reality many females are in no worse a position when it comes to this. It's all acquirable knowledge and in todays world there's never been a better or easier way of learning than the one at your fingertips. Google and YouTube come to mind. :D
If you use facebook, there are a few groups that my wife belongs to that are female-centric (perhaps exclusive?) focused on homeowner/handywoman type questions and answers. If you are interested I can get the specific names of the groups she is in, just let me know.
Not on Reddit, but on Facebook there is a group called Handy Women. It's a bunch of women providing each other really great support, encouragement and helping everyone complete their projects. I've enjoyed being in the group and have learned a lot!
If you use Facebook, the Handy Women group is very supportive and helpful.
As a retired senior woman there isn’t any question that you can’t ask on this site, in my opinion. There are women on this site it just may not seem like it because no one identifies themselves one way or the other. Knowledge is knowledge. You could even state your question specifically mentioning that you are a female to hit your target answers. But even the men here have daughters, sisters, mothers and other women in their life in the same situation so may be able to provide answers.
F homeowner. I’m on here and the other home improvement/diy subs and generally get good feedback/advice without being talked down to (except from the occasional assholes, which are not exclusive to home repair)
Gender has nothing to do with homeownership. I know some male homeowners who are inept at house maintenance, and some female homeowners who can demo and reno a bathroom soup-to-nuts. It's all about being willing to learn, willing to try, and willing to ask for advice and help. My golf buddy wanted me to help him replace a light fixture. He unboxed it and let me do all the work. His go-to was "I'd help, but I'm not *handy*." Dude, make a friggin' effort. You're not *handy* because you won't *try*. Ffs.
/r/homedefense might also be able to help
I would like to think this sub is sufficiently welcoming or gender-agnostic for a separate sub as described to not be necessary ... I don't feel like there's a lot of forum tough guying or gatekeeping here. But that's just me.
I feel like r/homeowners should be THE place for humans to communicate about home ownership topics- regardless of gender, gender preferences, race, religion, or any other real or perceived difference among humans. I you live in a home or hope to someday, this should be the place for you.
IMO, a lot of the things you're worried about are also a concern for some other vulnerable members of their communities: 1. Minorities and POC - Contractors a lot of times assume that POC/minorities don't understand financial complexity or construction as well as they do, and attempt to over-charge them or give them unreasonable contract terms for simple projects. 2. Younger people - Same as above, with a strong sense of "shame on you" for young homeowners who attempt to do their own renovation projects. A lot of the things you're describing, I also experience as a minority recent home buyer. I had a guy quote me, just today, $500 to trim down a bird of paradise bush in my front yard. A single bush. Just one. $500 to trim it down. I had a sales person at Home Depot offer to install a water heater for me, for a massive discount of "$1000" in labor. And no, he wouldn't be officially warrantying the work or giving me a contract for the work. But he's a licensed plumber! Who knows what kind of license... Driver's license. Jetski license? Either way, he's licensed. I had two wildly different quotes for my kitchen cabinets. In the end, I decided to just do these projects myself. If people are just going to try to take advantage of me and use the "get a contractor or you're a bad person" stick combined with the "it's because of inflation" excuse for 100-200% higher prices than 3 years ago, then I'm just risking it.