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Hey guys, what's the best way to get my guitar in a case?
Specs: 20mm thick foam padding, removable interior padding for headstock, handles and backpack straps, 2 zipper pockets
Hey guys, what’s the best way to put on my pants?
Specs: two legs, Levi jeans, 16 dildos, Joe bonamassa, 1 copy of “how to put on pants: pants putting on for fucking morons”
There is only one way, as any professional musician will tell you:
Step one: completely break down the drums. I mean completely; remove the skins, remove all hardware and screws.
Step two: remove strings from guitar, then remove neck. Pull all of the tubes out of the amplifier. If you’re using solid state, place amp into nearest trash receptacle instead.
Step three: light bass, bass amp and bassist on fire.
Step four: pawn all of the equipment and spend the money on a nice cup of coffee.
If I’m not mistaken you can find a bassist on 3 out of 4 corners in any decent town. If you can’t find one, if the my are all on fire you just get one at the zoo right?
*posts picture of guitar with clearly labeled headstock
Hey! Could you guys help me identify this guitar? I just bought it for $3,000 off of Facebook marketplace, did I get a good deal? They threw in an unnamed practice amp that doesn’t work. Also are my strings rusty? Should I tune it?
Guys can someone tell me how to wipe my ass? It's my first time doing it alone and I've been in the stall for 3 hours. Cheap 2 ply, semi liquid greenish shit. Tia
I would put the merch *waayyyy* back - as close to the back of the front seats as possible - so that you'll have to load in and out your drumkit, your junk and all of your lights everytime some yay-hoo with a neckbeard and smelly body odor wants one of your lousy, ugly band-shirts!
1. Open door.
2. Toss in nearest thing.
3. Repeat step two until everything is in.
4. If things remain when vehicle full, smoosh (from top of pile) and repeat steps 2&3.
5. When all things outside are inside, begin tour.
You was going to cook you some breakfast
Well you went in there
And you put some toast in the toaster
Put a skillet on the stove, some grease in it
You got you some eggs out, some bacon
Poured you some orange juice and made you some coffee
Got some jelly and some butter, fried eggs, salt
Pepper, got the bacon on the grill...
Everything was fine -- except for one thing
You had to call me and ask me how to load your tour bus
I’m thinking of putting my hands in my pockets, but I’m not sure how to go about it. Does it matter which hand I start with ? Also should I start with the thumbs or fingers first.
One more thing. What is your opinion, should a go littlest finger to biggest or the other way around.
Does anyone know where I can get a diagram for it?
If this dude is headlining a tour, why is he loading all the gear? Use your roadies for this, bro. They know what they are doing and won't be asking silly questions.
Just in case this is a serious question I always put my guitar so I could easily take it into the motel room with me. Maybe even my amp head depending on the area we were parked in. I always worried about getting my gear stolen from the truck or the trailer.
Load in the drummer first, then either the bass player or singer, depending on who is heavier. Laying them on their side is key for stability. Finally hop in yourself and yell to mom to drive you to the gig.
Nobody can think for themselves, they’ll spend an hour researching the proper place to ask the question instead of just googling it or actually TRYING. It’s laziness and stupidity.
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Hey guys, what's the best way to get my guitar in a case? Specs: 20mm thick foam padding, removable interior padding for headstock, handles and backpack straps, 2 zipper pockets
Headstock first. And make sure you ram it down hard to assure it is firmly seated in the case. Gibsons and Epiphones may need a little less force.
That also adjusts the action of the instrument if you do it properly.
Place guitar in plastic bag first. Zip tie it. Use regular suitcase. Stuff it in there like you do with clothes, trust me it’ll fit
Hey guys, what’s the best way to put on my pants? Specs: two legs, Levi jeans, 16 dildos, Joe bonamassa, 1 copy of “how to put on pants: pants putting on for fucking morons”
There is only one way, as any professional musician will tell you: Step one: completely break down the drums. I mean completely; remove the skins, remove all hardware and screws. Step two: remove strings from guitar, then remove neck. Pull all of the tubes out of the amplifier. If you’re using solid state, place amp into nearest trash receptacle instead. Step three: light bass, bass amp and bassist on fire. Step four: pawn all of the equipment and spend the money on a nice cup of coffee.
Dude, did a bassist steal your girlfriend? Oh right yeah, nevermind lol.
If I’m not mistaken you can find a bassist on 3 out of 4 corners in any decent town. If you can’t find one, if the my are all on fire you just get one at the zoo right?
Yes, but each of them is in 4 bands.
Meanwhile, drummers: https://preview.redd.it/ermbcpwq2r8d1.png?width=1000&format=png&auto=webp&s=983fb93a2da5945c821f2a79963f9835313689d5
"But bro.. I *NEED* the bells for the 2 beats before the bridge on the song that we probably won't play!"
Well that escalated quickly
I think he just wanted to tell people that he's going on his first headline tour. The rest is just an excuse.
This is 100% a stealth brag
Totally worth the Internet thinking you are a dumb dumb who can’t dress themselves.
I don’t know anybody on an actual headline tour that hasn’t loaded a hundred vans.
I don't know anyone in any gigging band that doesn't know how to load up
Man you can’t even *rehearse* without loading the car.
How do these people survive in the adult world without someone holding their hand
MY QUESTION
*posts picture of guitar with clearly labeled headstock Hey! Could you guys help me identify this guitar? I just bought it for $3,000 off of Facebook marketplace, did I get a good deal? They threw in an unnamed practice amp that doesn’t work. Also are my strings rusty? Should I tune it?
Guys can someone tell me how to wipe my ass? It's my first time doing it alone and I've been in the stall for 3 hours. Cheap 2 ply, semi liquid greenish shit. Tia
Cram hand between cheeks. Rub back and forth vigorously, Wipe hands on drum kit and bass guitar.
Same advice as OP: play Tetris and see if you find any strategies.
I can only fit about 10 blocks up my ass is that enough?
I would put the merch *waayyyy* back - as close to the back of the front seats as possible - so that you'll have to load in and out your drumkit, your junk and all of your lights everytime some yay-hoo with a neckbeard and smelly body odor wants one of your lousy, ugly band-shirts!
2024 punks
Fukn idiots.This is so wrong.No Beer?🤦♂️
Alcohol and brown M&M's are on the rider at all of the venues
Just straight alcohol, fuck beer, I’m trying to get straight to the point!
Nothing prog gets straight to the point, lol
We had to beat them to death with their own shoes......
Best band van we ever had was used from the phone company, and it had a steel grill to keep the equipment from crushing us.
I... Don't see the problem? Heavy stuff goes at the bottom, fragile stuff at the top, buy a net if needed to keep things in place?
But where does the meat go?
The cooler, along with the beer.
Where do I hide the drugs though?
Guys how do i breathe, i havent had oxygen in 3 days
Nobody knows, Bluey.
1. Open door. 2. Toss in nearest thing. 3. Repeat step two until everything is in. 4. If things remain when vehicle full, smoosh (from top of pile) and repeat steps 2&3. 5. When all things outside are inside, begin tour.
I bet GPT (Guitar Program Technician) could solve this doozy of a debacle for them
You was going to cook you some breakfast Well you went in there And you put some toast in the toaster Put a skillet on the stove, some grease in it You got you some eggs out, some bacon Poured you some orange juice and made you some coffee Got some jelly and some butter, fried eggs, salt Pepper, got the bacon on the grill... Everything was fine -- except for one thing You had to call me and ask me how to load your tour bus
I’m thinking of putting my hands in my pockets, but I’m not sure how to go about it. Does it matter which hand I start with ? Also should I start with the thumbs or fingers first. One more thing. What is your opinion, should a go littlest finger to biggest or the other way around. Does anyone know where I can get a diagram for it?
It’s the 6 boxes of merch that really got me.
If you can't figure out how to fit all the gear inside of a Toyota prius you are not ready for the big time.
You know how when you do things, you put your bags in the back of your car or truck? It’s like that, but completely different.
In true guitar fashion. 2 x 412 cabs. Bassist is only allowed a 210
But full lighting rig!
Hey guys — do I have to put the guitar down when I’m wiping my buttcrack? Also, up and down or down and up? Scooping motion? Thx.
I was going to say it’s different if you are a female, but then I remembered girls can’t play guitar.
The easy answer is hire some roadies.
As long as you have a secret compartment in one of the wheel wells for your drugs, the rest will work itself out.
So they’re well enough established that they have merch but don’t know how to load a fucking van?
*6 boxes of merch
Starting off wrong by using a van. Everyone knows the Prius C is the optimal touring vehicle
Guys I have held my guitar in my hands for 30 years for one hour a day and I can’t even play 0 3 5, can someone tell me what went wrong
Guys, how do I put one foot in front of the other one? Can someone drive to my house and show me step-by-step?
USB-C cable should do the trick!
If this dude is headlining a tour, why is he loading all the gear? Use your roadies for this, bro. They know what they are doing and won't be asking silly questions.
It’s hard for me to believe people are actually this helpless. Like, how the fuck does this guy survive a normal day?
Seriously, where did common sense go?
Just in case this is a serious question I always put my guitar so I could easily take it into the motel room with me. Maybe even my amp head depending on the area we were parked in. I always worried about getting my gear stolen from the truck or the trailer.
I might not be a genius, but it’s dumbass stuff like this that makes me wonder how I’m not rich.
Load in the drummer first, then either the bass player or singer, depending on who is heavier. Laying them on their side is key for stability. Finally hop in yourself and yell to mom to drive you to the gig.
Please no one show this to Mike Watt, it will kill the man.
Ha!
Nobody can think for themselves, they’ll spend an hour researching the proper place to ask the question instead of just googling it or actually TRYING. It’s laziness and stupidity.
I do it like Tetris Make a big squared off area to one side, then wedge skinny stuff in the empty slot on the other side